


Imperial Dreamer

by Ael Rhiana (Imperial_Dreamer)



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Family, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Romulans, Self-Discovery, Self-Harm, Self-Insert, Soul-Searching, Starfleet, Suicide Attempt, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-31 13:27:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 187,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13976088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imperial_Dreamer/pseuds/Ael%20Rhiana
Summary: Amidst a life filled pain and sorrow from the very beginning, a fifteen-year-old human girl embarks on a journey of self-discovery, longing to find the world on which she belongs, a family who will accept her as she has always wished for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> * This story is written in the first and third-person perspectives. First person perspective will always be in bold.
> 
> Warnings: Please read the tags! This story has scenes containing torture, attempted suicide, and self-harm. It also references child abuse and neglect. There will be some abrasive language. Readers: Consider yourselves appropriately warned.
> 
> Note from the Author: This is a story that has undergone four (now five) massive rewrites over the last decade; it is also a story that has been with me since my early teenage years, one of the characters, in particular, having a special place in my heart since the age of ten. This story reflects what I wish could have been if we lived in a perfect world where special fantasies and dreams could become reality. This world was my escape, the characters’ my saving grace. This story is dedicated to them.
> 
> Additional Note: Though this is a self-insert story, the name used is not my real-life name. I chose the name some time ago, as a personal identity in the stories I write and just stuck with it.

_Life is all about timing; the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable…attainable. Have the patience, wait it out. It’s all about timing._

_~ Stacy Charter_

 

 

Preface

**Some stories – in fact, most of them – start at the beginning, but this one starts before that because first, there are some things that you need to know.**

**My name, the one given to me from birth is Jennifer Anne Wallace. But my true name, the one that speaks of the true identity of my soul is Ael. Well, it only speaks volumes to some, I suppose. It means everything to me.**

**Fifteen years old, a human girl born of Earthly parents, barely five feet tall and scarcely eighty pounds soaking wet; hair the color of an open flame, green eyes that sometime seem a little too green when I see my reflection and slightly pale skin covered in old scars across my chest and shoulders no one knows about but me. A stubborn personality yet quiet, a loner, never quite fitting in with the world. This is me.**

**Many times in my youth I spent the quiet of night staring up into the heavens, somehow feeling like my real home, my real family was somewhere up there among the stars, in another part of the quadrant that couldn’t be seen from my bedroom window. To say that my spirit felt tortured is a bit of an understatement. To be unable to thrive, to do little more than painfully exist in a world where I wasn’t wanted, a world I wanted no part of in return seemed to be my fate.**

**Fitting in with the human race was little more than a futile effort. The way my family treated me made me begin to hate humanity as a whole, especially Starfleet since everyone in the family other than me was a part of its ranks. Starfleet was supposed to be “the good guys” of the quadrant, my immediate family anything but.**

**What can I say other than my family didn’t want me? Nothing. Cursed as the “accident they never wanted”, treated as little more than a punching bag to vent their frustrations was my life sums it all up pretty well. A family is supposed to offer unconditional love, its members always at your back, ready to offer up support or encouragement whenever it is needed. Not mine. Well, not if you’re me. If you’re my brother, dear Jeffery James Wallace, you deserve the very stars themselves.**

**Tall, lean, sharply featured, hair the color of an old gingersnap cookie, eyes the color of rust – kind of a sickly brownish orange with the tiniest flecks of green – cocky, arrogant; the real “golden boy” of the family. He’s also over a decade older than me. Rarely does he not remind me. Currently, he’s a lieutenant in Starfleet’s ranks, between postings though I know he’s called back to service soon. How he’s even managed to make it in Starfleet with his attitude…**

**Enough about him, at least for now.**

**Aside from the daily abuses that often found their way to me, the hateful curses often seeing me fleeing my home to run down by the water’s edge in San Francisco Bay, I found some solace in the thoughts that perhaps one day, I might be able to find my way home, the one place, the one world I have always felt drawn to. Romulus.**

**Does that have your attention? Good.**

**The name I spoke of not long ago, Ael, is of Romulan origin. How did I come to have a Romulan name, a longing to find a way to a world that most would assure me is anything but mine?**

**It all happened one very late night, at the tender age of eight. It was the night you could say hope sprang to life for the first time in forever.**

**During that particular time, my family was stationed aboard a quaint little ship of the fleet, the USS Horizon. Being barely eight years old meant I had to follow them along, posting to posting. Jeffery had just been accepted into Starfleet Academy so no one would be seeing him for a while, something I was happy about.**

**After a particularly bad day – it seemed like there was always a reason to scream at me even when I was sitting alone in a little alcove in our quarters, reading – I was having difficulty getting to sleep. Mostly, I was concerned about whether or not I’d be able to hide a not-so-subtle limp come morning when it was time for school classes. I’d probably be kept hidden away in our quarters at least until I could walk properly, or my mother would make some excuse, insisting I was just “the clumsiest thing she’d ever seen”, punctuating it with the falsest laugh I swear you’ve ever heard.**

**Feigning sleep at one point was the only way I could get a little peace, staying curled up in bed, eyes closed until I knew my parents to be in bed and dead to the world.**

**Silently, carefully I slipped out of bed, grateful for the thin layer of carpet on the deck. It masked my footsteps well. The only light in the room was the starlight that flitted in through the window, certainly not enough to read by, comforting all the same. Staring out at the stars as they drifted lazily past the window became my distraction for the next while, though the tension in my shoulders refused to lessen. I was certain at any given moment a hand was going to thrust through the darkness of the room to violently grab me, a harsh voice loudly berating me for being out of bed.**

**Thankfully, nothing happened. It took over two hours before I felt like I could sleep. Before heading back to my room, I wondered about getting a glass of milk from the replicator, deciding the noise might alert someone to the fact I wasn’t in bed.**

**A PADD, which is a portable display device sat on the table nearest the replicator. Something prompted me to pick it up, probably just my curiousness. The PADD was soon in my hands; it felt cold and didn’t have much weight to it. I took my newest acquisition back to my room, curling up on the bed beneath the blankets, the brightly-lit display allowing me to tap, swipe and scroll through the various contents. It seemed to be an ordinary PADD, nothing specific like the ones you might find belonging to a doctor or scientist.**

**To be honest, I couldn’t even tell you what I pressed to bring up a section regarding known alien species’, what I landed on stopping even my breath from coming. A beautiful alien woman stared back at me from the display, dark hair cropped short and close to her head, obviously in a traditional military cut, giving her a refined, noble appearance. The woman’s eyes were almost darker than the darkest chocolate, yet the passion held there, passion for her people, her world was unmistakable. A stern countenance also told the tale this woman, quite possibly her people were not ones to be trifled with.**

**Over the next few minutes I took in everything I could about this woman; noting how her ears like Vulcans, ended in delicate points, the way the “V” shaped ridges on her brow swept outwards from the center. Even her posturing was studied; it spoke of strength, pride, dignity; she was no doubt a cunning, resourceful adversary.**

**With my heart pounding a mile a minute I allowed my eyes to roam over the text, at last, a word coming into immediate focus, a word I’d been searching for, for what felt like an entire lifetime, the key to my identity. One that would mark the beginning of a what would soon become a difficult journey ahead.**

**That word was Romulan.**

**At that precise moment in time, something clicked in both head and heart; I am Romulan. My human exterior may as well have been nothing more than a shell harboring a lost, restless wandering spirit in search of home.**

**From that moment forward, I began to diligently research the Romulan people, taking great care to keep my questions away from my parents’ ears, being careful to whom I asked what, mostly my school teacher, and never asking too many questions lest I draw suspicion. Sometimes, it paid to be young. My secret brand of research was easily passed off as nothing more than the curious questions of a wondering child. There was even a time when I came across an officer who knew a smattering of the Romulan tongue, which only urged me to learn it for myself.**

**My name, Ael, fell into my lap not long after the initial discovery of the Romulan people when I happened across some Romulan history from way back when that spoke of a Romulan woman of small stature who bore the name I now carry. Built small like me yet courageous, strong, brimming with determination, filled with fire; willing to do whatever it took to bring glory to an Empire she respected, had a passion for.**

**Being a pure-blooded Romulan aside, if she could do great things, being so small, having, for a time, so much of the world against her, why couldn’t I triumph too? The name became not only my new identity but a source of strength and perseverance. I was determined to live up to my new namesake.**

**It felt like there was never a short supply of information to be had, a year passing more quickly than I could have ever hoped for. The other years seemed to drone on forever and ever, running together as we moved from one USS this to another USS that. We were even on a space station once but I forget exactly why. At some point, Jeffery, the star of the family, graduated from Starfleet Academy with honors, the obvious highlight of our parents’ lives. It was actually a bit sickening.**

**I was content to let him have the limelight since it seemed to be all he wanted, while I stayed like a Romulan: quiet, in the shadows, hiding away from those I considered my most hated enemies. Dreaming, wondering, plotting how to get home to a world I’d never seen; it all felt so feeble at times. It was like a grand dream that would never be more than just a wish of the heart.**

**One horrible evening, when about every ounce of hope had been drained out of me, blood oozing out of freshly made cuts in my pale skin, I began to concede to the fact, at least it sure seemed to be, that life was just a never-ending cycle of pain and utter torment. Hope seemed to be a bit of a lost cause too.**

**I just stood there, the blood trickling down my chest; I can barely tell you why I did it at all, starting cutting. Maybe it was a way to slowly commit suicide, a way to rid my being of the world, of the family who never wanted me. Why I didn’t just end it all outright… Maybe some hope remained after all.**

**Determined to find it, the remaining hope, I ceased injuring myself and began my research again. This time researching the Empire’s most elite. Well, what I could find of them. There wasn’t much on the praetor, a tall man with a lanky stature hidden by Imperial robes in varying shades of green flecked with gold and black. I’ve already forgotten his name. The Chairman of the Tal’shiar, Koval, an older man whose face looked to be carved from stone, hard and unfeeling was my next find. The identifying picture that came with notes of warning did little to ease my mind. If anything, the pictures of the man were shiver-inducing. A few more files were found and opened, no one person standing out from another in most cases.**

**Actually, no one seemed especially friendly.**

**Even so, I continued on until at long last, I found a file that produced a momentary halt of breath, a new spring of hope to flood over me like a long-anticipated rain over farmland seized by drought.**

**The file in question belonged to a man named Movar i-Ra’thleihfi tr’Illialhae, a Noble Born, High General within the Imperial Star Navy. At least, that’s how it was noted. Searching my brain to try and recall some of the things I had learned over the years, I could only remember the rank of general being present within the ranks of the Tal’shiar, the “secret police” of Romulan society, highly feared by anyone who had a hint of sense. Members of the Tal’shiar were said to look for deception at every turn, determined to find disloyalty above all else, discord over harmony. If you are outspoken, if you hold the wrong person’s stare a second too long, it’s enough to warrant arrest. Those arrested by the Tal’shiar tend not to come back.**

**Deciding to wonder about it all another time, my eyes focused on the photo that accompanied the general’s dossier, staring into the eyes of that photo so deeply it was like they were almost looking back.**

**The general wore the same stern, no-nonsense expression that many Romulans seemed to wear, only something in his eyes seemed far different. Oh, I could see the arrogant poise, the cunning, the passion for his world and race; just as easily I could see that he was a man who could command respect merely by stepping into a room, carrying himself confidently. Vast amounts of patience sat just behind the unblinking stare, something giving me the notion that he was a man who would fiercely protect those whom he considered his own.**

**Suddenly I wondered what it must be like to be his daughter, to live in the home of nobility, to have a father who would love, protect and nurture his children; what it must be like, I thought, to be a part of a family where someone always has your back.**

**True, it all could have been just been the product of an overworking imagination, my sudden thoughts of the general and what his home and family must ultimately be like. Just… Something in those eyes so dark brown they were almost black, told me all I needed to know. A little sound bite accompanied another file I found, this one containing a short speech given at a joint military conference over a decade and a half prior, longer than I’d even been alive.**

**That clip was played repeatedly for days. Marveling at the strong, deep and soothing voice sent my mind to a far better place, a place of home and family, love, and acceptance. There was little doubt the general’s voice could command instant respect, perhaps even fear if he raised the volume, but the more I listened, the more I could hear that same voice, deeply soothing as he spoke in reassurance to one of his children.**

**“What would you say to me?” I mumbled aloud in thought.**

**_“To not lose hope amidst your situation. Find a source of strength and hold tightly to it. Find your way home.”_ **

**No, the photo itself didn’t speak though it would have been nice if not a bit surprising had it done so. Still, the thoughts about what I imagined he might have said drove me to tears, filling my heart with further need and longing. It was all I could do to not cry out in anguished need for a father’s arms – his – to hold me close in reassurance.**

**All I could do to survive that instance, moving on to the next were my continual thoughts on what he might say to me, how reassuring and gentle he would be, how fierce if anyone dared cause me harm again.**

**In my mind and heart, the general became my father. No, he became my daddy, my saving grace where it hadn’t existed before, a lifeline to cling to for the years to follow.**

**_“You will find your way home; never lose heart,”_ ** **I would often imagine him say.**

**“I promise,” was usually what I would mumble back.**

**The drive to grow up, to find my way home consumed me, the thoughts of a loving family awaiting me there, kept me sustained through hardship. All I had to do was endure the pain of existence on Earth a little while longer.**

**This is where my story really begins. So, let’s begin it.**

**It’s time to go home.**

Chapter One

The faint ray of hope that Ael had been struggling to hold onto for the last three years was fading fast. At any given moment it would be snuffed out like a candle’s flame by the faintest gust of breath. Though she had only just reached the age of fifteen half a week prior, Ael could feel her sanity slipping away; she clung to it tightly but could feel the single thread of what was left of hope, slipping through her weakened grasp.

With her mind veiled in a darkened haze she couldn’t shake, Ael struggled to find her footing in what could only be described as a blind struggle, fighting for the will to keep going, to push through the darkness of depression, to somehow accomplish the goal she’d set for herself so many years past. All she wanted was to go home even though it was to a world she’d yet to see, where others likely wouldn’t welcome her with open arms. Even so, her heart longed to know the Romulan people.

 _At least_ , Ael thought, _I no longer have to worry about my parents._

Charlene and Garret Wallace, both commanders within the ranks of Starfleet had abandoned Ael only a year prior, returning to duty aboard one of the Federation’s most prized starships, the USS Enterprise, the dream posting of virtually everyone in the service at some point or another. Since there were no other sources of family for Ael to be placed with she had been left on her own to fend for herself. Thankfully, with the level of technology that existed in the twenty-fourth century, having access to a working food replicator meant that Ael never had to go without. But she did get lonely.

“Oh, this mission is much too dangerous,” Charlene had said in an off-handed way when Ael dared to ask if she would be accompanying them aboard the Enterprise. “Jeffery will be home within a few months, you _can_ cope by yourself until then, surely?”

Without waiting for an answer, Charlene had turned away, Ael knowing deep down her parents would not be returning to her once their five-year mission had run its course. Just as she also knew the mission likely wasn’t as dangerous as her mother claimed; the Enterprise was an exploration vessel, not a warship.

Even though had been left alone, at least until Jeffery returned sometime in the coming months, things were looking up for the first time in forever. When she went on walks every morning there was a noticeable spring in her step, a far cry from the limp she’d had every now and again since childhood.

It didn’t take long for her to find a little spot to call her own, a little cafe just down the road, Loca Mocha. Ael thought the name was a bit silly. At least the atmosphere was nice. Comfortable and cozy, especially if she chose a table in the far corner, Ael would often sit there for hours, poring over PADDs she’d managed to collect (and hide) over the years, watching Starfleet officers come and go. Sometimes, Ael would engage one or two of the friendlier ones, often asking questions about her race of choice: Romulans.

“I’m just curious is all,” she would say. “Honestly, I thought of devoting myself to the study of other species. Currently, I’m on the Romulan section.”

That was usually enough for folks to humor her request for further knowledge. Unfortunately for Ael, barely anyone knew more than she already did. The answers always seemed to be the same: Romulans are arrogant, militaristic, strategic in all they do. Best avoided. No one seemed to know anything concerning Romulan culture, at least no one Ael happened across.

On a particularly overcast, chilly afternoon, Ael sat in the café, sipping quietly on a peppermint hot chocolate. The warmth of the drink quelled most of Ael’s sudden shivers, the biting breezes every time someone opened the door not the full cause of her chill.

A handful of PADDs sat on the table but Ael didn’t seem to see them today. Three of the five weren’t even turned on. There seemed to be no more information about Romulans anywhere in the world, at least not in Ael’s little corner of it, and if anyone knew anything she didn’t, they either weren’t telling or she hadn’t found them quite yet.

Days droned on, turning into weeks; Jeffery returned home. Feeling sour about several things, more so about her brother’s return home than anything else, Ael became content with locking herself in her room. The café no longer held any appeal; the only way she might learn more about Romulans was by signing up for the Academy herself one day, enrolling into their anthropology course. It might also be the only way she would ever get to Romulus or at the very least, get close enough to make her life-long dream a reality.

“What can I hope to accomplish on this dust ball?” Ael mumbled sourly to a bar of soap one morning while in the shower, several months later. The lavender fragrance of the soap did nothing to calm her. So much for the uses of lavender and aromatherapy. “Short of joining Starfleet, there’s no way to get into space.” A snort. “Well, there’s always contact a smuggler and book passage on a, probably, stolen ship that doesn’t mind sneaking into Romulan territory to-” Ael noisily deposited the soap back into its dish. “That has to be the most ridiculous thought I’ve had all week.” Ridiculous thoughts seemed to be all she had left.

Leaving the warmth of the shower, drying, and dressing, Ael sat on her bed, staring across the room at a small spot on the wall. Gaze fixated, focused, mind whirring; Ael tried to find a less ludicrous way to get to Romulus than joining Starfleet. What was she supposed to do if she managed it? Spend decades gaining rank, earning trust, one day stealing a shuttlecraft to make a run for it? Or should she actually find a way to contact some form of space riffraff to smuggle her across the Neutral Zone at some point this decade?

Nothing.

There was nothing more she could do unless…

“Maybe when Jeff gets his next set of orders, I can go with him. He _is_ my only family after all, not that I think of him that way.”

Try as she might to hope for the best, Ael knew Jeffery would never agree to it. There was simply too much hatred between them. Why would he ever help her? It was going to end up with Jeffery going, never returning home, at least not to this one.

Realizing her fate, to end up alone in a house that felt too large for one small teenage girl to occupy all by her lonesome, of never seeing Romulus, or of finding a family who would care for her; it was too much to bear. Depression consumed Ael within barely a few days of knowing she was destined for total abandonment by everyone she knew.

Cuts started appearing on her skin, always in places she could easily hide. It was just more pain in her already painful existence but at least it was something new to focus on. It didn’t take long for the cuts to become deeper than the previous, for them to appear on a more frequent basis than before. One evening, Ael very nearly didn’t bother to stop the crimson liquid flowing from a deep gash across her chest, waking up on the bathroom floor several hours later with a whopper of a headache, her body feeling icy cold.

On May the tenth, not really any special day marked on calendars around the world, Ael decided she was done. It was time to end her existence. If there was such thing as an afterlife, perhaps she could convince whatever God awaited her there to send her on to Vorta’vor, the Romulan version of heaven. Not that she believed in God. There was no reason to, not after the life she’d been cruelly forced to endure.

Trudging through an empty house, Jeffery out with “his boys” for a night of drunken shenanigans, Ael made her way into the kitchen, staring at the replicator for what felt like hours before ordering a bar of dark chocolate. The thing shimmered into existence; instead of taking the candy, Ael stared at it.

 _There is little point to me eating this,_ Ael thought. It might give her at least a little comfort before…

Pushing the suddenly grotesque, morbid thoughts away, Ael took her bar of chocolate and began the slow trudge back to her room. On her way past the study, the door partially ajar, Ael slowed even further, then stopped altogether. Peeking into the mostly bare room, feeling a little sorry for the dead plant in the corner near the dust covered window, Ael’s gaze fixated on a little blinking light coming from the nearby desktop monitor. It seemed to be inviting her over for a closer look.

“That’s weird,” Ael thought aloud, stepping into the study. A few steps inside the room, Ael paused, craning her neck, straining her ears to make certain no one was around. The last thing she needed was for Jeff to have returned home early, catching her in an area of the home she had never really been allowed to go for no reason she could figure. “It isn’t like I have anything to lose.”

Curling up like a cat in the leather chair in front of the desk, Ael drew the device close in secrecy. Hair spilled over her shoulders when she leaned in closer, almost providing a curtain to hide the monitor from view. A tap of a button here, another there; the light ceased its relentless blinking. It was almost too easy to bring up the stored message for playback.

“Did you want me to see whatever this is, _brother dear_?” Mumbled Ael, reaching beside her for the chocolate bar she’d replicated not long ago, taking a bite and allowing the bitterly sweet treat to melt on her tongue while she watched. _Maybe he didn’t think I’d have the nerve to come in here._

The seal of the Federation blinked momentarily onto the screen. A time and date flashed along the bottom, indicating when the message had initially been received to the desktop. It had come nearly two days ago. A face, round, kind, and with a few wrinkles replaced the seal within moments. Sitting tall in the chair in his private ready room aboard the Stargazer, Captain Michael Brookes, in his red and black uniform, four shiny gold pips on his collar, stared seriously into the viewer.

“These are Jeff’s orders,” Ael said to herself, breaking off another chunk of chocolate. “I’d bet anything.”

Though she hadn’t seen him in years, Ael remembered Captain Brookes to be a nice man. When she was six, he had served with her parents. At that time, he’d been Commander Brookes. Affiliated with Starfleet, a human besides, two things Ael could barely stomach even at that age, she enjoyed the times she ran across Brookes, generally the rare times he’d popped into one of the classrooms on his way off duty. Funny, lovable; a smile turned up the corners of her mouth when she remembered the chocolates he would sometimes bring to the class.

The bittersweet chocolate on Ael’s tongue suddenly tasted a little sweeter. Those chocolates were the only treats she ever had in her life up until the point her parents took off and left her alone to fend for herself.

In her heart, Ael knew Brookes would have helped her during her most troubled times if only she’d confided. The fear of the unknown had simply been too great.

A soft, weary sigh slipped out into the open in regards to the past. Ael returned her focus to not only the message but also making sure to keep an ear open for the sound of anyone returning home.

“Lieutenant Jeffery Wallace,” Captain Brooke’s began, his deep voice naturally soothing to Ael as she listened. “This transmission is to inform you of the orders I know you’ve been waiting for. You are hereby instructed to board the USS Stargazer for a six-month assignment, which will depart spacedock on May the tenth at oh eight hundred hours.”

Tapping a button to pause the message, Ael’s forehead scrunched up in thought. Today was the tenth. Ael sat in the study, message paused, until the light in the room began to wane. A quick look through the window at the dusky blues and purples in the sky told evening twilight was fast approaching.

“Wait, I wonder if Jeff’s already gone,” Ael gasped suddenly. Instead of going out with friends for the evening, could Jeff had already left for spacedock? “He could easily spend the night there or even on the Stargazer.” Had her brother left the message, then, in plain sight on purpose, hoping she would see it, knowing she would be too late to do anything about it?

Suddenly the chocolate bar was no longer appetizing or bringing back her only fond memory from childhood. Face screwed up in disgust, Ael resumed playing the message.

“Once you are aboard, you will be fully briefed. The mission, however, is a simple one, though it will run fairly close to the Neutral Zone border. We haven’t heard from the Romulans in quite some time so, if everything goes according to plan, there shouldn’t be much excitement to worry about.”

Ael paused the message again. The Neutral Zone? Perfect! Wait, but if Jeff had already gone… Quickly, Ael resumed the message.

“If you have any questions or concerns before your arrival, then you may contact me through the channel listed at the end of this message. I look forward to your arrival on board, Lieutenant. Brookes out.”

The desktop monitor faded to black, Ael bathed in the dusky light flooding in through the window. A cricket began to chirp from somewhere nearby but the sound barely registered to Ael who can only wonder if her brother had slipped away in the afternoon with his belongings, fully intending to spend the night aboard spacedock, leaving her one hundred percent on her own at the age of (just barely) fifteen.

Slowly, Ael got to her feet, moved soundlessly out of the study, down the hall to where she knew Jeffery’s room to be and peeked in. Daring to step inside, Ael raised the lighting level, uttering a less-than-mild curse in the Romulan tongue when her gaze fell upon nothing.

Jeffery’s room was uncharacteristically neat and tidy, the only real items left in the room being his bed, a small night table and lamp, and a bookshelf. There was absolutely nothing left as she gazed around the room that her brother had occupied only a day prior.

“That’s that, I suppose,” said Ael softly, shoulders slumping in defeat. _Had I found that transmission yesterday…_

Not that it would have done much good. Other than begging, badgering, or screaming demands at Jeff to take her along, to not leave her alone in the middle of the city; when push came to shove he just didn’t care all that much about anyone, especially his little sister.

Backing out of the room without bothering to dim the lights, Ael hurried to her own room, kicking the door open, shoving it closed, turning the lock. Breaths came in heaving gasps; her chest felt heavy and tight, painfully bitter tears felt lodged in her throat. The earlier bit of chocolate threatened to make a reappearance.

“Gah! Fuck everything!” Ael loudly swore, the curse sounding choked. “I’ve tried to have hope; I’ve tried to learn; I’ve tried for years to figure out a damned way off this rock short of hiring riffraff to smuggle me off world, not that I have anything to barter with. And joining the damn academy, attempting to make a break for it in another couple of decades? Useless! Worthless! All of it!”

Though Ael identified with the race called Romulan, she certainly no longer felt even a measure as strong. Something she had learned years ago moved to the forefront of her mind.

 _A Romulan without a home, without family, has no identity,_ Ael recalled. _And a Romulan without identity does not exist to her people. No family, no home, no identity; it all only means disgrace._

“Romulans fear disgrace more than death,” Ael recited from memory. “Romulans are also courageous, cunning,” Ael added, an onslaught of emotion threatening to overcome her. “They are strong, steadfast, patient. Have I not been? A Romulan would surely be able to find a way to prevail in this situation where I cannot. I-I’m just out of options, hope; I’m out of time.”

Ael’s last words came out soft, strangled by the influx of tears. Tear filled eyes slowly swept across the room, coming to rest on a raggedy stuffed tiger by the name of Mr. Mittens who was hopelessly tangled up in the dark green bedding. The old toy’s amber colored eyes seemed to ask for a bit of help, Ael stepping over to the bed to free the scruffy cat, and then she sat on the bed, pressing one of the only things she’d ever loved close to her chest.

Long past when the room was thrown into darkness, Ael sat clutching the toy, her mind numb, body shivering, stalling the inevitable she knew was coming. Holding Mr. Mittens in the crook of her left arm, Ael reached over to the drawer of her nightstand and pulled it open, retrieving the small, slightly battered photograph of General Movar, a photo she’d had for years without anyone ever knowing. The corners of the photo were crinkled a bit from being held for long periods, slept within a tight grasp more than once. A small section of the photo’s color had bled away from what might think was water damage; she’d spent many times sobbing over the picture, begging him, the one she saw as Daddy, to help her.

Now, as she held it, teardrops already falling onto the faded surface, Ael could imagine the general telling her still, never to give up. “ _Romulans do not admit defeat; Romulans do not utter the phrase, “I cannot”. You must look for other options, Ael,”_ she imagined him saying.

“Don’t you see?” Ael rasped to the photo. “I’m not strong enough, never have been.” Eyes drifting closed, Ael no longer bothered to stifle her sobs. “You are a Romulan, I’m really not. If only you knew what I’m about to do; Daddy, it would sorely disappoint you.”

God, those were horribly painful words to say to someone whom she loved even if he knew nothing of her. He was the man whom she had adopted in her mind and heart so many years ago, now. No matter how much she wished for him to be her Daddy, he simply was not. Ael always considered him her rock, a source of silent strength when she otherwise had none.  Each and every time she had been about to throw in the towel, his voice would come to her, urging her to her feet, telling her to collect her thoughts and to try again, just one more time.

“There are no more “one more times” left,” murmured Ael sadly.

Holding the photo in one hand, tiger still in the crook of her arm, Ael took herself to the corner beside the window, an area that had housed her despairing form more times in her life than she cared to count. A reddish-rust colored stain, its origins dismal and pained, marred the hardwood where Ael lowered her body down to sit, knees drawn to her chest. Depositing the old stuffed toy on her lap, Ael leaned to the side and reached beneath her dresser, extracting a knife wrapped in green cloth, marked by dirty red dots.

Sobbing, Ael placed the weapon beside her, grasping Movar’s picture tightly in both hands, begging him to help her, to offer another way out that she hadn’t thought of or seen. The eyes in the photo might be unable to see Ael yet they seemed to question what it was she had in mind for the evening.

 _How can you give up? You are stronger than this! Believe it!_ Movar’s voice seemed to say, Ael choking on a sob bubbling up from the depths of her soul.

“I-I don’t know, OK? Had I been born your daughter, none of this would be happening now. I would be something special. I wouldn’t be this horrible, pitiful nothing I’ve been my entire life.”

Weeping until hyperventilation seemed to be her immediate plans, the general’s picture soaking by the time Ael’s tears ran dry. Anguished thoughts swirled in her head and her body felt chilled to the bone. Soft moonlight shone through Ael’s bedroom window, gently caressing the girl it spilled over.

Nothing was of much comfort any longer. It was time to fade from existence.

“I’m so sorry, Daddy,” Ael whispered hoarsely, placing the marred photo face down on the floor. Mr. Mittens was removed from her lap and tossed back to the bed. Trembling hands slowly unwound the cloth from around the blade it hid, revealing a dagger, black in entirety from tip to rear bolster. Red-rimmed, puffy eyes stared at the item of her past self-abuses, the thing that would help her leave this world once and for all. Outside, a series of clouds moved before the moon, draining the light from Ael’s spot on the floor. It almost seemed to be denying her the light by which to harm herself.

 _The damn darkness is never ending_ , Ael cried internally. _It seems determined to follow me to the bitter end of it all._

Pressing the tip of the blade into the pad of her first finger, Ael watched the droplet of red fluid fall to her knees. Surprisingly, it didn’t really hurt. Maybe she was too numb to feel even pain.

Mind continually touching on the fact she could have had one last chance at a saving grace had Jeff’s orders been discovered earlier, allowing her to act, Ael grit her teeth against the reminder and allowed the straps of her tank top to fall away. With the tip of the blade poised beneath her left clavicle, Ael pulled down sharply, the cut ending above her breast. Already, she felt the warmth of her life force as it ran out and down her front, though not as intensely as she’d initially expected. The process was repeated on the other side, Ael’s vision becoming fuzzy around the edges.

Though it should have been a quick death, as most ritual suicides to prevent disgrace and dishonor tended to be, Ael somehow felt that her release should be a slow, agonizing one.

_I came into this world miserable and unwanted, had a life filled with pain; I may as well leave the world as I came into it: Crying, wishing to God for someone to take care of me._

“To think I would ever find a family,” said Ael tiredly through a new set of tears. “To think I might one day get to Romulus, have a new beginning. What a cruel joke it all was. I should have known better than to think anyone could ever love a little nothing like me.”

Another sob caught in her throat, Ael allowing her body to curl up on the floor, blood continuing to pour out of one wound a bit faster than the other, yet still not enough to drag her away from life into the icy cold clutches of Death.

Hand placed over the general’s photograph, Ael whispered apology after apology. A gust of wind howled almost sadly outside.

Consumed by overwhelming feelings of hurt, guilt, and total inadequacy, Ael’s fingers wrapped around the photo, a trembling hand raising it up just enough that she could make out Movar’s image.

“I-I love you,” Ael whispered. “Forgive me.” Eyes drifting closed, still more life left in her body than most would assume, Ael patiently waited for the inevitable to come.

What pulled her away from the peaceful sleep Ael desired was the unmistakable sound of the front door. A familiar voice, somehow shrouded in haze, echoed through the empty house.

“You should definitely have the infirmary detoxify your system when you get to spacedock, or your captain is going to have you scrubbing plasma conduits on your first day!”

“Tell me about it, but I couldn’t resist a night out with my boys!”

He hadn’t left early after all, and now here she was, bleeding out on her bedroom floor, in the dark.

Ael eased her aching body away from the floor, gritting her teeth together in agony as she pressed her shirt to her wounds and began to force herself across the floor, much in the way a baby would drag themselves along before learning how to crawl. The conversation continued on in the hall, Jeff, and someone still at the front door, calling back and forth to one another.

“I know the feeling. You should probably try and get a little sleep, I’ll be by to collect you at oh four hundred. You should be a little soberer by then. Well, we hope!”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

The front door closed, Ael never able to figure out who had come in the front door with Jeff, but for the first time in her life, she didn’t care about the little details, and also for the first time in her life she was glad that her brother had come home.

“Jennifer!”

Ael instinctively shrank back from the loud calling of her name, her sore, abused body protesting the sudden motion. “Go away,” she whispered hoarsely, thankful her door was locked.

“Useless girl probably forgot to come home again, not like it matters to me. I’ll be gone before the little targ knows anything.”

Careful to stay silent, Ael listened to her brother enter his still well-lit room, hearing him curse at the sudden pain likely shooting through his head in response to his drunken state. A minute later and the shower in Jeff’s room was running. Shivering against the cold from blood loss, Ael slowly inched her way up the bathroom wall until she was upright, tormented body begging for mercy all the while.

 _I can’t fall down,_ Ael told herself sternly. _If I do, there is no way I’m getting up again._

A towel was pulled from a hook on the wall, Ael shakily pressing the thing to her body. Fumbling for the standard medical kit she kept stowed beneath the sink, Ael pulled out a hypospray, injecting herself with a fast-acting coagulant. For what feels like hours Ael holds the towel to her chest, finally daring to pull it back, relieved to see the gashes are now only oozing rather than gushing. But there is a lot of damage done.

It takes nearly every last ounce of strength for Ael to shower, a hand clamped over her mouth to stop the cries of pain when the warm water splashed down her front. Reeling with dizziness, Ael finishes her short shower, praying her wounds are clean, though they are now beginning to bleed again.

Concentrating on the thin ray of hope that had suddenly resurfaced, Ael slowly dried and dressed, applying gauze pads from the medical kit to her wounds beforehand. The last thing she needed was for blood to leak through her clothing. Opting for a long sleeved shirt in Azure, the garment falling to her knees, and a pair of plain black leggings, Ael sighed in relief and allowed her body a bit of rest.

A quick brushing of her hair, the copper tendrils pulled back into a ponytail, Ael allowed her weary body to sit on the bed before she fell. Mentally, she began to think of what she needed to pack. There was no way in hell she would be left behind now.

The process was agonizingly slow but soon Ael had packed her bag, a good-sized satchel, with bits and pieces most essential to her. Two changes of clothes and a comfortable nightgown, Mr. Mittens; a few PADDs, a small package of fruity hard candies that tingled, and one of her favorite chocolate bars even though replicating them aboard the Stargazer would be easy enough.

Into the satchel, next to last, went Ael’s portable desktop monitor, a much more streamlined device than the bulkier one found in the study. Slim, easy to carry and conceal; Ael wondered if she might learn how to make use of it in order to send and receive encrypted messages, say, across the Neutral Zone and back again.

Last of all was a bound leather journal, its ivory colored pages showing signs of wear around the edges. The reddish colored leather was scuffed in places, obvious wear, and tear, but otherwise, carefully cared for.

Opening the journal gave one a view of a curvaceous alien script, all of Ael’s hopes, dreams, her fears, her learnings, written down where virtually no one could decipher them. Well, unless they happened to be fluent in the Romulan way of writing. Writing this way over the years made Ael feel safe. If her parents had ever seen the book, she had always hidden it carefully, they likely dismissed it as a child’s worthless scribbles when, to Ael, they were everything.

Once retrieved from the floor, Movar’s photograph, significantly marred with sadness and grief, was placed inside the book. Everything was now packed and ready, Ael zipping the satchel closed, adjusting the chest strap to give her some leeway later on. It was going to hurt a bit.

For now, the satchel was carried normally, Ael peeking out into the hall, relief flooding over her when she hears snoring coming from down the hall. Tiptoeing out the front door, mainly to catch the cool night breeze, which felt heavenly against her body, Ael transfixed her eyes on the heavens. The moon is out again, too, the clouds all but washed away by the breeze.

“I’m coming home,” said Ael to a spot in the sky no one else could see. Breathing in the crisp air deeply, Ael closed her eyes, another breeze coming along as if to caress her, ruffling her hair almost lovingly.

The Elements surely watched over her, saddened in one moment, the moon hiding, all growing cold, then suddenly the night sky clear, stars abundant, the breeze gentle, almost warm.

 _Yes, child,_ a faint voice in the cool night air seemed to say. _Come home; you have truly been away for far too long, there is nothing for you under this blanket of foreign stars. Begin your journey home, we are waiting._

**.....**

 

**For what feels like hours I stare up at the stars, my sore, assaulted body begs me to sit and I do. My gaze never leaves the sky. It’s suddenly so real, how close I am to leaving this wretched place, a place I never belonged. At last, I force my body upright and head into the house, taking care to make as little noise as possible. Not that it matters since Jeffery is snoring like a freight train. Not even Klingons doing battle in the streets could wake that boy.**

**Head throbbing, I make my way down to the now-darkened study adjoining the living room, the same little light, still blinking away, inviting me over once again. Invitation accepted.**

**Curling up in chairs like a cat is a recent habit of mine, a habit currently painful due to the still oozing cuts on my chest. Not that it’s any less painful to sit like a normal person. The sensations are difficult to ignore but I try. The message I’d seen not long ago is quickly accessed again.**

**“If you have any questions or concerns before your arrival, then you may contact me through the channel listed at the end of this message,” says Brookes.**

**“Done,” I say quietly in response. A jolting snore comes from down the hall and I freeze, allowing a hint of tension to slide off my back when the sound of snoring begins again. That was a little too close.**

**A quietly spoken word to the device brings forth the seal of the Federation of Planets. Circular with a golden edge, the inner portion of the circle several shades of blue, silvery-white stars dotted within, three stars larger than the others, at the forefront of the design, all tucked neatly into the “arms” of a golden laurel. Not long after the seal appears, it vanishes, the kind, round face of Captain Brookes takes its place.**

**“This is Captain Brookes,” he says, his greyish-blue eyes staring at me, confused. After spending a moment obviously trying to remember where he might know me from, Brookes tips his head and asks, “Who might you be, young lady?”**

**There is some surprise on my part. I wonder why he hasn’t asked how in the world I gained access to his private office on board the Stargazer. It will likely be a question he asks later. For the moment, he is kind, more soft-spoken than a captain should be. Not that I blame him any; I have to resemble a pitiful specimen of something by now.**

**“Forgive the intrusion,” I say a bit meeker than I mean. “This is a private channel, I know, but, um…” I pause, turn my head, a wave of panic shoots through me when I no longer hear Jeff’s chainsaw-like snores assaulting my ears from down the hall. I hope he’s only changed positions on the bed, rolled to his side perhaps. As long as I don’t hear footfalls, there is no reason for immediate panic.**

**“It’s my brother,” I say quickly. “Jeffery Wallace. He’s due to board the Stargazer today but there’s a personal issue I doubt he’s mentioned.”**

**Brookes’ expression changes when I mention my brother. Suddenly, he gets a look of recognition. “Are your parents by chance Garret and Charlene Wallace?”**

**I nod once, barely halting the shiver that threatens to run from head to toe. “Yes”. Without warning, the anxiety I feel bears down on my shoulders and I struggle not to cry. A tear or two probably won’t hurt my case any, I mean, I _am_ trying to get off this rock and then there’s the crippling depression. My chest hurts, I feel afraid; the tears come without prompting, so does the stutter I’ve always been plagued by in times of severe stress. I think it helps my case further.**

**“P-please, listen,” I say tearfully. It feels like my throat is closing up. “There isn’t m-much time. D-don’t let me die here.” A bit too dramatic perhaps, though everything I certainly feel.**

**Without a doubt, my words capture Brookes’ attention immediately. The stare of concern from before is back. “Hold on now, what do you mean? Jennifer, isn’t it?”**

**_No!_ ** **I almost scream at him. _Don’t call me such a horrible, vile thing! My name is Ael, do you hear?_ But I don’t. I only nod, gulp back a sob, wipe a hand over my eyes. “I-I wish I had the courage to say something t-to someone y-years ago.”**

**Brookes’ expression changes once more, several creases form on his brow, concern turns to downright worry.**

**“Listen,” I said with a shaky inhale of breath. I don’t want to stammer, it makes me feel stupid. “My parents are not the wonderful souls Starfleet thinks.” Again, I bat the tears off my cheeks. “When they left for their last assignment; they abandoned me here. Yes, alone,” I continue. Surprise now shows on the captain’s face, mixed in with the worry, even some disbelief finds its way into his countenance. “I have been alone for months. My brother received his most recent orders several days back. Once he leaves…”**

**I’m upset, my voice rising in both pitch and volume before I can stop it from happening. The fear I’ve been bottling up for months finally pours out.**

**“How am I supposed to survive on the streets of San Francisco?” I ask, no, I _beg_. “Captain, I am barely fifteen, have very little in the way of possessions, with no other family that I know of. For all I know, I won’t be allowed to remain in this house once Jeff leaves. They, my parents, my brother; they are never coming back for me.”**

**Aside from the chirping of a cricket in the corner of the room, he must have come inside when Jeff went out earlier in the afternoon, there is only silence. I wish Jeff would start snoring again, anything to make me believe he hasn’t woken, possibly listening right outside the study.**

**Keeping the secrets of my family, of my home life has been one hell of a burden over the course of my fifteen years. Is it any wonder it’s all finally spilling out? I take a moment to catch my breath. Silently, I wonder how much more I should disclose. Oh, there is little doubt the captain of the Stargazer will be sending word to the captain of the Enterprise, Jean-Luc Picard, I think his name is, the very ship on which my parents currently serve, ordering some form of investigation on two very specific officers.**

**I dare not say anything more. It would put a tremendous cramp in my plan if the entire family is rounded up for interviews at Starfleet HQ or wherever it is they conduct investigations of suspected abuse and abandonment of the children of officers in the fleet. I still want… _need_ to get on board the Stargazer with Jeff. **

**After what feels like an eternity of silence, Brookes says, “Well, now, I never would have suspected.” Another few moments of silence elapses. I think he still can’t quite believe it.**

**“P-please,” I stammer, this time on purpose. “Allow me to board the Stargazer with my brother. He leaves in barely a few hours and I-I just don’t know what I-I’m supposed to do.”**

**From confusion, to worry, from surprise to disbelief, to now of utmost seriousness; Captain Brookes’ face covers a multitude of expressions in barely a few minutes. Hands clasp together to sit on his desk. Brookes says, “I am concerned by the things you have disclosed, Jennifer. Now, while there will be, at some point, a formal investigation, there is little can be done at this exact moment in regards to your parents. The Enterprise is nearly at the tail end of the quadrant, and last I heard they were having a bit of trouble with a new species.”**

**Whatever this new species is, I kind of hope it eats them both.**

**“For now,” continues Brookes, “I do think it would be in your best interest to board with your brother. The shuttle pilot will be informed of the extra passenger.”**

**I’ve done it! Something inside of me screams in triumph. One step closer to home. “Thank you, sir,” I say gratefully.**

**“It’s the correct action to take,” he assures me. More silence, this time as he consults something on a nearby PADD. “Now, Lieutenant Wallace’s posting on the Stargazer is set to last for six months, at which point he is due on Starbase 39-Sierra. The USS Apache should be departing 39-Sierra for Earth around the same timeframe. It can ferry both you and Lieutenant Wallace back home. Don’t worry,” he says as if to calm me, “I plan to make certain your parents are recalled at the same time. We will get to the bottom of this.”**

**_Too bad I won’t be coming back,_ ** **I think. As good as it would make me feel to see my parents get what they deserve for my years of torment, including the loss of their Starfleet careers, possibly prison time, hopefully on some Klingon moon somewhere, the thought of being shuffled off to some foster home afterward isn’t sitting well.**

**Before a response can work its way past my lips, Jeff bursts into the darkened study. I bolt upright, almost tripping over the chair, hand pressed over my heart that currently beat several miles a minute. How had I not heard his footsteps down the hardwood floors? Near the middle of the hallway, there is a section of the floor that creaks a bit when trod on. Jeff never misses stepping on it. I guess he did tonight. Just my luck.**

**“You horrid little snoop,” he growls at me, advancing forwards. How he doesn’t see his soon-to-be commanding officer on the screen, dead center on the desk is beyond me. I back up fast. I think Jeff might be about to hit me. “Who gave you permission to be in here? This area has always been off-limits to you!”**

**Captain Brookes clears his throat, Jeff’s tirade stops mid-insult and he turns. The color drains from his face and I smile behind my hand.**

**“Well, that was certainly something to see,” says the captain, not at all amused.**

**“C-Captain!” Jeff yelps, startled and anxious. I can never remember a time I’ve heard a stammer come out of my brother. Jeff pales dramatically, and then sits in the chair I almost tripped over, attempting to regain at least a hint of composure. “My sister is not supposed to be in here,” he says, frantic.**

**“Then it’s a good thing she has a rebellious side, isn’t it, _Lieutenant_ ,” says Brookes, his tone suddenly harsh, unforgiving. The way the captain says the word “lieutenant”… I wonder how long it will take before brother dearest is knocked back down to ensign. “To say I was sorely unaware of the situation within your home is a bit of an understatement.” He glances quickly at me. I still cower a bit behind the chair. “There are likely other things regarding the situation that your sister has yet to tell anyone. Is that right, son?”**

**Jeff’s complexion pales to the point it resembles my normal one. One of his hands nervously runs through his mop of brown hair, which is currently sticking up every which way from sleep. “Situation, sir?” It’s obvious the captain isn’t buying it.**

**“Do _not_ play dumb with me, son,” Brookes says firmly. “The situation and you do know to what I am referring, will be investigated within the year. However, at the present moment, with your departure to the Stargazer imminent; Jennifer will be joining you aboard for the duration of your assignment.”**

**It’s all I can do to hold in some giggles. Jeff’s expression is thunderous for a nanosecond, then changes to one I can only describe as full of panic. Honestly, I feel somewhat in a panic, too. What if we’re assigned to the same quarters aboard the Stargazer. I will be a last minute passenger, added to a likely already full crew compliment. Any thoughts about being forced to bunk with my horrible brother I push from my mind. I can figure it out later.**

**I watch the captain consult his PADD, and then he says, “I will be sending a shuttle for you both. Expect it to arrive in two hours.”**

**“Sir, I already have trans-” Jeff tries to say.**

**“Cancel it.” Brookes is definitely not making a request.**

**Jeff responds weakly. “Yes, sir.”**

**“Good. Then I will see you both soon.” A smile for me, a harsh glare at Jeff, Captain Brookes terminates the transmission. For a minute, Jeff stares at the darkened screen, his posture slumps in defeat, mouth agape like a fish out of water. He’s processing.**

**While he gapes, I begin to back away from my position behind the chair to head for the door. I ease backward, muscles tense like a nervous animal ready to bolt at the first sign of danger is how I move. While I doubt Jeff is going to try something exceptionally stupid with the captain expecting us both to arrive aboard ship in one piece, I can’t help my wariness.**

**Before I can reach the door, Jeff bolts upright and whirls to face me, glaring, intense hate behind his stare. I don’t think I’ve seen him this angry at me in years.**

**“Oh, you _are_ going to pay for this, you _wretched_ little targ,” he snarls at me.**

**I fold my arms, glare back, hold my ground. I’m still ready to rush away towards the door if it comes to it. “Believe me,” I spit sourly, “I already am. If you think not being able to finally be rid of me for life is pissing you off, remember that all crew quarters are likely already assigned. And since I am a last minute passenger…”**

**Realization hits Jeff like a ton of proverbial bricks and he steps back by two steps. “Are you saying-? This is unreal!” Now he’s yelling. I half expect for whatever is in grabbing range to suddenly fly across the room.**

**“Planning to stamp your feet next?” I ask coolly? “Or maybe you want to drop to the floor and kick and scream like you’re two. Actually, don’t you do that now, when you don’t get your own way?”**

**It’s like he can’t hear me over his inane ranting. “Stuck with you for months! Those quarters are small enough as it is! You may be boarding with me, you little brat, but I swear to God that I _will_ get reassigned to different, private quarters one way or another!”**

**Stalking past, Jeff departs the study. I can hear him stomp up the hall. Now, it sounds like he’s throwing things around his room. Typical.**

**“Months,” I mumble to myself. “I don’t need that long. Once we reach the perimeter of the Neutral Zone, I should only need a few days or so to get a transmission across the border to any ships, cloaked or otherwise in range, yeah?” It seems simple enough. I know it really isn’t. “How long does it even take to get to the border of the Zone?” I continue to muse aloud, thinking it has to be less than a week. I’m also counting on a vessel to be on the other side of the border.**

**“There’s always a cloaked ship out there,” I say to the door before I step through. I turn, staring up the hall where I can still hear Jeff making an ungodly racket. “Don’t worry, Jeff. We’ll be rid of each other soon enough. Just remember: One day in the future, I _will_ be able to pay you, and our parents back for every nasty, horrible thing you’ve put me through. One day, it’ll be _you_ who begs mercy from _me_.”**

**I head back to my room, put on shoes, grab my satchel. The strap that sits across my chest brings instant tears to my eyes from the pain. I wipe them away and grit my teeth. True, I can always take a dermal regenerator from the home’s medical kit, healing my wounds within mere seconds. I can’t say I feel like it. Actually, I’m still not thinking clearly. With how deep my wounds are, a dermal regenerator won’t accomplish anything but frustration. An autosuture is more what I need not that I have one.**

**The cool breeze outside helps me to feel better. I sit on the steps, stare up at the stars beginning to fade. This is where I am until the stars blink away into a smooth backdrop of purple, pink and a hint of orange, and then the shuttle swoops down out of the sunrise to collect me and my brother.**

**My body quivers with nervous, excited energy during the shuttle ride up to the Stargazer. Normally, shuttle rides make me feel queasy even though there are inertial dampeners in place, ensuring one is unable to feel the motion of the craft. Well, unless something hits you. This time, I don’t feel sick. Not right away.**

**Though I’m sore, I clutch my satchel tight to my chest, ignoring the painful soreness and mumble a soft, nearly silent prayer.**

**“Kholairlh’sa flaeon thlom…” _Elements protect me._**

**I am definitely going to need the protection and watchful eyes of the Elements, think of them as the Romulan Gods and Goddesses, over the days to come, possibly weeks as I try to find my way home.**

**By the time the shuttle touches down in the Stargazer’s shuttle bay, whether it be from excitement, nervousness or the effects of the shuttle flight finally hitting me, I’m queasy. It’s a little difficult to keep my chocolate bar in my stomach. I’m tempted to lose it on Jeff’s less than shiny Starfleet issue boots.**

**I make my way out of the shuttle before Jeff can move from his seat. I’m feeling a bit woozy, my balance a bit off-kilter.**

**“Are you all right, young lady? Easy there, don’t fall over.” A strong hand reaches out and braces against my shoulder to keep me upright.**

**“Thank you,” I say, gazing up at Captain Brookes with a grateful smile. He’s much taller than I thought, standing around six feet one. Cool greyish blue eyes stare at me kindly, they ask if I am all right. “Sometimes, I get a bit shuttle sick. I’m just a little woozy.”**

**“It happens to the best of us,” Brookes assures me, giving my shoulder a pat. Then he steps back to appraise me. “You’ve certainly grown quite a bit since I last saw you.”**

**My eyes flick to my left. Jeff is annoyed at the pleasantries taking place between me and his captain. Good.**

**“Really?” I ask, feeling surprise. I laugh a little. “I guess so, but I’m still a bit, well, short.” The last time the captain ever saw me, I was probably under four feet. I guess I have grown a bit.**

**“My daughter had a sudden growth-spurt at your age,” says Brookes, clasping his hands behind his back. “She ended up at nearly six feet tall by the time she stopped growing.”**

**Somehow, I doubt I’m going to gain another single inch of height within my lifetime much less an entire foot. Besides, I sort of enjoy being small in stature. Well, except for when I need to reach something on a high shelf. Anyway, that’s what stepstools are for.**

**The captain’s attention turns from me to my brother who now stands as close to attention as possible, no longer choosing to glare at me where he hopes Brooke’s can’t see.**

**“Lieutenant Wallace,” says Brookes in a voice that says he wonders what should be done with the brother who had been about to abandon his little sister to the streets of San Francisco. “Once you and Jennifer have settled into your quarters-” Joy. I _do_ have to room with him. Ugh is more like it. “I would like you to report to engineering. The chief engineer, Commander Collins, will brief you.” **

**A PADD appears in Jeff’s hand. He looks at it, lowers it to his side and only has a, “yes, Captain,” to say. And then, “If I may ask, sir-”**

**Captain Brookes holds up a single hand to request silence. My brother complies but is clearly unhappy about being quieted. I know he’s going to ask about switching quarters not that I think it is likely to happen. At least, if it does happen, it won’t be for Jeff’s benefit. It will be for mine.**

**“I know what you’re about to ask me, Lieutenant. Currently, all crew quarters are occupied. You do have a slightly larger set because you now have an extra occupant. At the moment, there is nothing to be done but make the best of the situation. And, Lieutenant Wallace, you _will_ make the best of it. Understood?”**

**“Yes, Captain,” says Jeff, unease in his tone.**

**“For now, get settled as best you can.” I think he’s speaking to me more than he is my brother. “Lieutenant, report to main engineering within the hour.”**

**We’re barely clear of the shuttle bay and down the corridor when Jeff feels the need to verbally lash me, albeit much softer than I think he prefers. I tune it out. I’m used to it.**

**_A Romulan can easily wait out her enemy,_ ** **I think to myself. To Romulans, most encounters are like a game of chess, involving strategy, the patience to wait for their next move.**

**I ignore Jeff the entire way to our quarters, a painfully slow journey, especially when inside the turbolift. Thankfully, we both arrive in one piece; I very nearly gave him a swift kick at one point.**

**The room isn’t as small as I was expecting but not as big, either. Still, it isn’t so bad. To the right of the door is the food replicator, to the left, bunk beds. The bunks are embedded in the wall, a dark blue sheet covering the mattress, matching blanket over the sheet, a matching pillow up top. I see some shelving, a workstation, and desk, an armchair, and couch; in an alcove near the back of the room is the toilet and basin, a sonic shower behind a partition. A small viewport is fixed on the bulkhead near the armchair. I go immediately to it and stare out into space.**

**My eyes are already lost in the sea of stars shining, twinkling in the velvety blackness. Somewhere behind me, Jeff continues to rant. Soon enough, I will gaze upon a different set of stars entirely. Romulan stars. They will guide me home to a world I have always wished to see, home to a people I have always called my own. Those stars now so close will guide me to the Empire.**


	2. Chapter 2

**It felt good to finally be alone.**

**It had taken a good deal of effort on my part to tune out my brother’s continued ranting. After a good ten minutes of shouting at me, along with some choice insults, I offered up a reminder about how he was due down in engineering. As a Romulan might have said, I was eternally tired of his _hnaev_.**

**“The captain is already more than a little aggravated at you,” I’d said. “I doubt he’s happy at our little family situation, either. Best not get him anymore irritated.” For once, the suggestion was acknowledged. Jeff had turned on his heel in regards to my warning, stalking out of the room and down the corridor, stomping hard all the way to the turbolift at the end of the hall.**

**_At last, freedom_ ** **, I thought. For eight to ten hours, the duration my brother’s shift in engineering was likely to be, I wouldn’t have to put up with him. With any luck, not that Romulans typically believed in such things, he’s swamped with tasks to occupy him for longer than ten hours. With a chuckle, I hoped they were the most menial, tedious tasks aboard ship.**

**For at least an hour I stand as close to the window as possible, staring out into space, marveling at its great vastness, wondering exactly how long it will take to reach the sector of space that borders Romulan territory. A rumbling stomach pulls my thoughts over to the replicator; a snack would definitely improve how I felt. Not having eaten much in the last full day, I was hungry, some food helpful in quelling the suddenly persistent growl rising up from my middle. Having something to nibble on would also be a great distraction, though I was likely going to wonder and worry no matter what activity I happened to be engaged in.**

**Stepping over to the replicator near the door, I hemmed and hawed on what to order for at least fifteen minutes, eventually coming away with a plate of thickly cut French fries, lightly salted, no condiments necessary. I’m still not sure why I’d ordered them; they just sounded good. I ate my snack near the window, a smile forming on my face when the stars begin to move, albeit lazily, past the window. _Finally_ , I thought to myself, a single hand pressed against the glass, _I’m on my way_.**

**Another hour, and another plate of salty fries later, I’m still there, standing at the window. Only now, I’m a bit annoyed at the fact the Stargazer is plodding along so slowly. At this rate, I’m sure the Neutral Zone border will take forever and a day to reach. Silently, I prayed it wasn’t going to take the entire six months of Jeff’s assignment to get there. To be stuck in such a small space with him for so long a time frame; it may as well have been a fate worse than death.**

**Restlessly beginning to pace, I turn to thinking about how I’m going to get off the Stargazer if and when the time comes. Zero ideas spring to mind; not once did the proverbial lightbulb light up above my head as I paced back and forth, between the beds and workstation. Oh, well, I probably had plenty of time to think of something, anyway.**

**“Maybe I need a nap or something,” I mumbled, finally heading over to the set of bunks seemingly carved into the beige colored bulkheads. While I’d been earlier ignoring my brother, he’d staked a claim to the top bunk, his duffle already there, seeming to taunt me from its perch above my head. “You know I prefer the top bunk, Jeff,” I grumbled.**

**Climbing up the three-rung ladder off to the side, I took a seat on the top bunk, legs dangling over the edge, and then shoved Jeff’s duffle over the side. It landed with a satisfying thump on the floor and I smirked. There would likely be hell to pay later for stealing the top bunk away.**

**Grin fading into a tired, weary countenance, a nap suddenly seemed the best idea I’d had in years. Out of breath, beads of sweat standing out on my forehead, a dull ache in my chest; a hint of fear momentarily seized me by the throat. “Shit,” I whispered to no one, lifting my shirt.  A hint of red showed through the thick gauze pads on my wounds; I fervently hoped the self-inflicted gashes didn’t become much worse. Shuddering to think what the chief medical officer would say, what she might do, who she would inform if I dragged my aching body to sickbay was more than enough to force me to ignore the fact I was likely bleeding beneath those bandages.**

**Captain Brookes would have been instantly informed of my injuries, no doubt escalating the family crisis he knew of, between my parents, Jeff and me, and getting us all back to Earth as fast as humanly possible.**

**“I’ve done this before,” I reminded myself, closing my eyes, concentrating on breathing deeply through my nose, exhaling through my mouth. “I can handle my own wounds. Unless I start bleeding out on the floor, I’m not going to sickbay.”**

**Moving slowly so I don’t cause further bleeding, I put myself into a cross-legged position on the mattress. It, the mattress, was actually softer than I’d originally given it credit for. A small sigh finds its way out of my mouth when I, again, exhaled a held breath slowly. After a few minutes of trying to relax, I opened my satchel, extracting Mr. Mittens, pressing him close to my face, comforted by the feeling of his ratty fur against my cheek. He hasn’t been soft in over a decade.**

**Hands slightly shaking, I place the tiger down at my side, reaching into the bag to extract a small bag of hard candies I’d grabbed last minute from my nightstand. Something sweet sounded good, a dark purple one, tasting of blackberries picked straight from the bush in summer had me sighing through closed eyes in bliss in less than a second. The way the thing tingled on my tongue felt pleasing, too, almost enough to bring up a little smile.**

**After the candy had dissolved away, leaving my teeth feeling a bit sticky, resting became my focus. It makes me shudder when I realize what could happen if I don’t allow my body time to heal, and healing requires lots of rest.**

**Though it’s tempting to unpack the rest of my satchel, I leave most everything where it is, pulling out my journal to look over while I rest. Briefly, my gaze flicked down to my portable desktop. The thoughts I can recall from much earlier in the day, of sending some sort of encrypted message across the border of the Neutral Zone; it doesn’t exactly appeal to me anymore. If anything, it’s likely because I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing. I have some ideas, sure, but running around a starship, asking questions on how to send encrypted, untraceable messages isn’t exactly a brilliant idea. My brother also happened to be an engineer. He may be nasty, rude, and a host of other things I shouldn’t say, but he’s also not completely stupid. If he suspected anything or even caught a glimpse of some odd-looking setup in our shared quarters, it’d definitely lead to trouble.**

**“Have to be patient,” I remind myself. “It’s not like we’re at the border of the Neutral Zone right this very second. There’s still plenty of time to figure something out.”**

**Turning my journal slightly, I gave it a little shake, the general’s photo falling out from between the pages to land face up on the bed. Lifting the photo up to eye level, still wishing it could engage me in conversation, I said, “I really could use some of your wisdom right about now.”**

**I imagined him speaking, the way I always tended to do when a bit of motivation or comfort was badly needed. _“A Romulan can adapt to any situation. Be patient; your time to act will come.”_**

**“When?” I sighed. More patience on my part was always needed. At least I had stubbornness on my side and that had to count for something. As usual, the general’s photo refused to speak, and I was almost too exhausted to be sad about it. Slipping the photo beneath the pillow, I carefully adjusted position until I was slightly curled up on my side, making myself comfortable.**

**Thoughts of the days to come, of arriving home on Romulus, made their home in the forefront of my mind. A smile came to my face when I thought of standing before the general, meeting him for the first time, thanking him for all he’d ever done for me without even knowing. The smile faded a moment later, replaced by an expression of sadness. It was likely the general wasn’t even on Romulus at the present time, rather, off on some clandestine military assignment, possibly seeing him away from home for upwards of five years at a time.**

**It bothered me to think I might never meet the man who unknowingly saved me, inspired me, gave me the strength to keep going when I otherwise had none of my own to spare. Maybe one day I would be fortunate enough to see him, to thank him but even if I never did, I would always love him the way a daughter would love her daddy. Nothing in the world was ever going to change that.**

**Opening my journal, content to stare at the first ivory colored page now yellowing a bit with age at the corners, my gaze moved across the alien text and symbols littering the writing surface in crimson-colored ink. Fingers stroked idly over the unfocused, child-like scrawling; I had obviously known very little of the Romulan dialect during that time in my life, the color if the ink, not to mention some of the words, reminding me I had been angry when this particular entry had been hastily scribbled.**

**My eyes flicked over to page two, the writing style slightly evolving, becoming a touch neater than the previous entries on the previous page. This time, the writing was in blue, indicating sadness, despair. With the turn of each new page, the writing evolved more and more, scrawls and scribbles giving way to a more precise, fluid writing style, the alien script curving, bending, and swirling about the pages, bringing me a measure of comfort.**

**Mid-way through, an entry in dark green ink caught my eye; green was always a color I would use when writing specifically about my future aspirations as a Romulan, the entry my gaze landed on, written at the age of thirteen.**

**_One day, I will be a soldier, one of the best ch’Rihan has to offer._ ** _**Soaring through the heavens on the mighty eagle’s wings, I’ll keep watch over my home and Empire, all the while keeping a keen set of eyes on our sworn enemies through a cloak of shadow. When the time comes to engage our enemies, I will strike fast and fierce, as swift as the great mogai bird that adorns the Empire’s crest.** _

_**Rihanha** **; this is who we are. It is who I am. No other can match our strength, our cunning, our relentless, fiery passion for not only our home and Empire but also everything we believe in and hold dear.** _

_**One day, I will be so much more than I am currently forced to be. In the future, bright and glorious, enemies of the past will fall to their knees before me and beg, plead for mercy as I was once forced to do at their feet.** _

_**Every breath I take on this world feels foreign; I long for home. My heart beats an almost alien rhythm, my soul burns like a cup of strong ale on a cold winter’s night. Fire, my Element, is the core of who I am. She is a strong force, fierce; no longer is she dimming, but burning bright.** _

_**The day will come when I finally make it home, my fervent prayers to the Elements finally answered at long last.** _

*********

Ael had just managed to read the small excerpt from her journal before her eyelids began to close involuntarily, the overwhelming stress of the last several days not to mention the lack of sleep, finally catching up with her. Curled up on her side, clutching both her journal and the scraggly stuffed tiger close to her chest, jaw slack, breathing deep, Ael slept the remainder of the day away.

It was just past nineteen hundred hours when Jeffery returned to his (currently shared) quarters, expression sour when he saw his younger sibling curled up contentedly on the top bunk. The duffle bag, now residing on the floor, told him in no uncertain terms she preferred the top. A slap to Ael’s foot caused her to stir; she was close to falling back to sleep again, but Jeffery’s voice, demanding she get up and get off his bed, forced her to wake.

Green eyes opened slowly, Ael’s special, precious belongings pressing closer to her body, determined not to allow anyone, least of all her brother to steal them away. The action caused a new round of pain to flood through her chest, Ael unable to keep from wincing in response.

“What?” Ael inquired coldly, refusing to budge. Attempting to calm herself for even a second, Ael squeezed Mr. Mittens. “What is oh, so important it couldn’t wait? I’m tired, was sleeping, actually.”

“Why is my duffle on the floor?” Jeffery demanded. “That happens to be _my_ bed you’re curled up on. You know, the bunk _I claimed_ before I left for my shift in engineering, well over twelve hours ago.”

_Twelve hours? Why do I still feel so exhausted?_

Ael sat up slowly, barely able to hide the pains suddenly cascading throughout her body, her mood instantly changing from mildly annoyed to exceptionally grouchy. “Are you serious, Jeff? Did you _really_ wake me up over a bed? Take the bottom bunk because I am _not_ moving.” _You’ve pushed me around enough over the last fifteen years; it’s time that I held my ground at something, even if it’s over something as trivial as a bed!_

Jeffery glowered at his younger sister as she eased herself into a sitting position, and then she reached for her satchel, drawing it close to her side protectively. “Why do you even _want_ the top bunk? You’re generally so afraid of heights you get woozy and cry if you’re forced to stand on a footstool.”

That was one of the many things Ael hated about herself, her fear of heights generally so severe even a few inches away from the safety of solid ground was usually too much to bear. Ael found the phobia to be ridiculously un-Romulan of her.

“I may not like heights, Jeff, but you know I prefer the top bunk.”

“That doesn’t even make sense; I think you took it just to piss me off.”

“I took it because being on the top bunk makes me feel secure, and if anyone in this room is attempting to piss the other occupant off, might I suggest you go look in that dainty little mirror in the bathroom. You’ll come face-to-face with the one who starts every last bloody argument we’ve ever been involved in.”

“Gah! I don’t have time for this,” Jeffery shouted, slamming his duffle onto his bed. “Just keep it, you little brat.”

“ _Verrul_ ,” Ael spat, a harsh, alien curse rolling off her tongue without a second thought, causing Jeffery to scowl in further annoyance as he stalked towards the bathroom. How he hated when she spoke in that undecipherable language! The way the word rolled from her tongue in that vile, unforgiving tone signaled the unidentifiable word was undoubtedly an insult. Ael couldn’t care less how insulted her brother might be, though she did scowl in response to the grumbling coming from the direction of the sonic shower.

Tucking all of her belongings back into the safety of her satchel, Ael slowly climbed down from the top bunk, heading towards the replicator in search of supper. After a twelve-hour sleep, though it didn’t feel like enough, Ael’s stomach was insistent she feed it, and she figured it was best to do so before Jeffery made her lose what appetite she currently had.

For several minutes Ael stood quietly in front of the replicator, one foot standing slightly atop the other, brow creased in thought as she attempted to decide what she wanted to eat. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips when she recalled some of the Romulan dishes she’d come across in her times of research. A bowl of thick and hearty osilh stew suddenly sounded exceptionally appetizing; closing her eyes, envisioning such a meal had Ael salivating.

A rich broth base sure to thicken as it cooked, tender roasted vegetables melding with beautifully fragrant herbs; chunks of meat cooked to absolute perfection, all of the ingredients working together, blending in harmony to create a culinary delight sure to appease even the most discriminating palate. The overly-detailed thoughts further fueled her appetite, the corners of her mouth wet with hunger. Just as Ael was just about to place an order for the closest thing to osilh stew, Jeffery emerged from the bathroom, his uniform replaced by simple cotton pants in grey, a T-shirt in navy blue.

“Daydreaming _again_?” Ael turned, rolling her eyes at her brother’s rudeness before turning back to the replicator. “That’s seriously all you ever do, isn’t it?”

“It’s called deciding what I want for dinner, Jeff. For once in your life can you just leave me alone?” Already, Ael was about at her wits end from the new confrontation. How she was supposed to last possible months trapped in this room was beyond her.

“You know,” said Jeffery as he crossed the room to sit on his bunk. “I think when we reach the Neutral Zone I’m going to ask the Romulans if they want you.”

“Oh, please do,” Ael drawled sarcastically, though there was a note of seriousness in her voice. Lucky for her, Jeffery only heard the sarcasm. “That would mean I would only have to continue living in your _all-mighty_ presence for another day or two.”

Jeffery snorted in response, further detracting Ael away from her dinner order. “Math never was your strong suit.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Ael was suddenly struck by a feeling she couldn’t place but definitely didn’t care for.

“At warp seven, it would take the Stargazer twenty-two days to reach the perimeter of the Neutral Zone, and that’s if there are no other detours along the way, which there probably will be.”

Ael’s complexion paled noticeably, the dinner order she’d been mulling over for the last ten minutes at least, gone from her mind. Green eyes widened in shock, a horrified expression passing over her face. Working fast, Ael masked the horror, her brother’s smirk telling her it didn’t matter because he’d already seen the look on her face.

 _I can’t be stuck with him for close to a month or more,_ she thought frantically. _I’d lose what’s left of my sanity!_

“What’s the matter with you?” Jeffery laughed cruelly at Ael’s discomfort. “Your face was priceless just then.”

Ael turned away, fuming. “Romulans would be far better than being stuck here with you,” she growled.

“Oh, you _want_ to be turned over to the Romulans, do you?” Jeffery laughed again, Ael flushing in anger. “I don’t think they’d want you either.”

Barely able to contain the tears that were threatening to spill over Ael moved away from the replicator and back to the bed, grabbing her satchel from atop it, slinging the strap across her chest even though it hurt like blazes. She wasn’t going to spend one more minute in this blasted room; she’d rather condemn herself to a Romulan firing squad!

“Keep your lousy bunk and your lousy room,” Ael snapped, cheeks mottled red, eyes blinking rapidly in a vain attempt to hold her tears. “And before you start babbling your usual breed of _hnaev_ , no, I don’t know where I intend to go, but I promise it will be on the other end of this wretched ship if I have my way.”

“Good luck with that,” Jeffery snorted in reply, the first of many tears flowing down her cheeks at her brother’s cruel tone. “Maybe you could try an airlock.”

“ _Urru Areinnye_!” Ael spat through her tears, stalking through the door with her fists clenched tightly at her sides, tides of emotion standing wet on her cheeks. She wasn’t certain why she was weeping, it wasn’t as if this verbal abuse had come startlingly out of left field, but in the deepest recesses of her heart, she knew the answer.

_Family_ _isn’t supposed to be this way._

Ael could only hope when the day came she gazed upon Romulus, a world full of awesome and wondrous beauty she would be lucky enough to find a family that would show her, no holds barred exactly how things were supposed to be.

That moment couldn’t come soon enough.


	3. Chapter 3

The corridors seemed to last forever, Ael trudging down them at a snail’s pace, head low, satchel dragging behind. Ael’s current emotional state could best be described in comparison to the white-capped waves of an angry sea during a storm, surging and swelling as the rain pounded down, no relief in sight. Struggling against a violent wind, attempting to push through a blinding torrent of rain and never-ending skies of black; it was enough to force out a sob into the open.

If only she could get away.

Even though the ship around her was quiet and still, a peaceful quality to most onboard given the evening hour, Ael’s spirit was plagued with chaos. Momentarily seized by old feelings of hopeless inadequacy, Ael considered taking her brother’s advice and heading straight for the nearest airlock. Her silent thoughts concerning Movar, and what he’d likely prefer her to do, being the only reason why she continued to put one foot slowly in front of the other even though she had not a clue where she was going.

It took Ael nearly twelve minutes to make it to the lift at the end of the corridor, a trip usually completed in a minute or less. Some of the problems in reaching the lift quickly lay in Ael’s slow pace, the other factor was the feeling of dread, of panic the two times she’d heard the sound of footsteps somewhere behind her, prompting her to dash around the nearest corner, duck into a little alcove, waiting until the coast was clear before resuming her trek to the turbolift. The last thing Ael wanted was for someone to ask why she, a kid to most on board, had gone wandering about the ship all on her own.

With a trembling sigh, Ael entered the lift, ordering it to deck ten in a voice so small the computer had to ask her to repeat the destination. Ael leaned wearily against the back wall of the lift as it began to ascend, imagining a certain Romulan general stood just beside, hand on her shoulder, transferring his strength to her, helping her to hold on longer than she felt she could manage.

When the lift reached its destination Ael continued to huddle against the back wall. Red-rimmed, puffy eyes stared at the doors sliding open to reveal yet another seemingly endless corridor, one she didn’t much feel like navigating.  

 _Come, Ael_ , she could imagine Movar saying. _As long as I am by your side there is nothing for you to fear._

With a silent nod, Ael picked up her satchel and stepped slowly into the open, thankful no one had been around to see her cowering pitifully at the rear of the turbolift like an abused, frightened animal. As she walked down the corridor she imagined that Movar was in step beside her, gaze protective, vigilant. Oh, how she longed to have him near at this very moment, his hand to hold tightly to as she fought to overcome her turbulent emotional state and his deep, soothing voice to fill her ears as he offered her a father’s sound counsel.

Sighing more wearily than before, Ael allowed her feet to carry her down the corridor and through a set of silver-colored doors that led into the ship’s lounge, a place crew members referred to, simply, as Nebula Ten. Ael thought the name sounded more like a nightclub than a ship’s lounge. Truthfully, Ael didn’t know why she had picked this particular spot to come to, given her fear of someone noticing her and then asking too many questions.

Though she couldn’t explain it, a momentary sense of calm flooded over Ael when she entered the lounge, mostly due to the soft, pale lights casting silvery-blue shadows along the wall at the rear of the room. It was actually quite nice. After quick surveillance of her immediate surroundings, Ael headed towards the rear of the room, those soft lights, hoping no one would pay her any mind as she slipped quietly onto a bench seat that ran alongside one of the many massive windows. And then she realized this spot had been chosen for none other than the view.

 _Maybe I can stay here for the rest of the night_ , Ael thought, daring to glance around the rest of the lounge, hopeful no one had noticed her hasty retreat into the furthest corner at the back of the room. Thankfully, no one had.

Her gaze traveled across the room to the bar, a row of comfortable-looking stools running its length; she counted ten in total. A single crewman sat at the far end of the bar, sipping contentedly on a glass of Altairian brandy, putting the finishing touches on his daily report to give to the captain the following morning. A civilian woman behind the bar absently arranged bottles of non-syntheholic beverages Ael couldn’t see from her vantage point. Silently, Ael thought of inquiring about a bottle of Romulan ale, but quickly stopped herself when she remembered the potent beverage was currently illegal within the Federation.

 _Not to mention I am only fifteen,_ Ael thought.

Ael allowed her gaze to wander away from the bar and to the left side of the room, eyes momentarily focused on two Vulcans, a male and a female, engaged in a rather serious game of three-dimensional chess. The male, wearing a blue uniform, indicating his position in either one of the science or medical departments, stared intently at the layered playing-zone. Dark-colored eyes sat fixated on one particular platform, thoughts focused, mind intent, quietly playing more than fifty moves ahead. He strategized carefully, logically, predicting all possible outcomes. His female companion, wearing traditional Vulcan robes meant for lounging, also stared intently at the playing space, already planning move after move, depending on exactly what piece her partner decided to play.

A small part of Ael wanted to go up to the pair and watch the game more closely. Though three-dimensional chess was common within the Federation, Ael had never seen a playing board for herself, much less an actual game. Suddenly, a desire sprang up to learn all about it, though she had very little desire to approach the Vulcans. A clink of a glass being set down on the bar momentarily distracted Ael away from her thoughts. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the crewman at the end of the bar being poured an additional portion of brandy.

Thoughts refocused, Ael revisited the idea of quietly walking over to the Vulcans to watch their game of chess, even if the current game was more about playing in one’s head rather than moving the pieces in a timely manner.

“Vulcans tend to get annoyed at humans asking anything,” Ael mumbled aloud, staring through the window, deciding to pass on the idea of heading over to have a little peek at their game. The stars seemed a bit larger here, a pinkish-orange nebula in the distance commanded Ael’s attention, forcing her to stare in awe, making her forget about the Vulcans altogether. The distribution of colors and stars reminded Ael of a butterfly, stretching out its wings for the first time.

For a half hour, Ael stared at the nebula, the stars; this time, nothing seemed like it could make her feel any better. Turning back, she saw the Vulcans still sitting, still staring at the layered chess board. “Has he still not moved a piece?” Ael wondered. “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t bother to watch. Waiting an hour for someone to play a single piece would be a new adventure in boredom.”

Despondent stare sweeping about the room, Ael took in the other sights not that there was much to see. In the main area of the lounge, two officers shared a table, sipping drinks, sharing a meal after having just come off duty. A few tables over sat three more, two officers in blue, one in gold, their lively conversation and laughter curious to the girl who felt she had no one.

 _I kind of wish I could hear what they’re saying_ , Ael thought, watching as a Bajoran male laughed at something a male Bolian to his right had said. The female human, one with hair nearly as red as Ael’s, nearly choked on her brightly colored cocktail, fighting to swallow before her sudden bout of laughter caused the beverage to explode out of her mouth and across the table. For not the first time in her life, Ael wondered what it might be like to have friends, camaraderie like she was witnessing several tables down. Perhaps if she went over to them, introducing herself, maybe she could be included, have a laugh.

The thoughts were quickly pushed aside; Ael far too content in her own misery to think about the possibility of friendship between her and anyone else, especially people whom it was likely she would never see again. While lost in a sea of depressive thoughts, Ael neglected to notice someone watching her from over near the bar, a person whom she hadn’t even seen enter the lounge.

“What was I even thinking?” Ael murmured, staring through the window and into the cobalt blackness dotted with stars. The nebula was gone; there was nothing bright left to look at. Taking no notice of the carefully approaching woman, an officer taking great care not to startle the pants off what looked to be an upset child, Ael sighed and slumped down in her seat. “I should have just stayed where I was.”

“Hey there.”

Torn away from her mumblings, Ael sat up quickly, a panic-stricken look washing over her face. Wide, green eyes connected with eyes of bright blue, eyes that seemed to say, “It’s OK! I’m sorry for startling you.”

Katrina Azare, a friendly, outgoing commander in her early forties with a kind face, always a smile at the ready, had stopped by the lounge for a warm drink, perhaps a bit of stargazing before heading off to bed. Only upon entering the lounge, Katrina had spotted Ael tucked away in the far corner of the room all by her lonesome, looking sad as could be. Concern bid her find the cause of the girl’s sadness, and so she dared to make her way over, to see if anything could be done to help.

“Easy, sweetie, it’s all right. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Worried about potentially startling the girl further, sending her running towards the exit, Katrina stayed still, asking, “May I sit with you? You look like you could use a friend.”

“Yes,” Ael answered softly, her tone indicating the simple response answered both question and the statement.

Katrina slid into the chair on the opposite side of the table and stared at the girl whose puffy eyes were currently focused on the table, hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. Folding her arms, setting them on the table, leaning into them; the action, though quiet and easy, startled Ael again. Inwardly, Ael bristled. How un-Romulan it was for her to be so damn fearful of everything!

”My name is Katrina, but you can call me Kat, everyone else does,” said Kat with an easy, genuine smile. “What’s your name?”

“Jennifer,” she answered after a moment’s hesitation. It slightly bothered her, saying her given name aloud. Oh, how she wanted to say, “My name is Ael”, but a feeling, somewhere deep down, likely brought on by years of mistrust towards a people who had only ever seen fit to damage her, possibly beyond repair, forced Ael to swallow the words away.

 _You look nice,_ Ael thought, _but I just don’t know you. To share my most secret name, identity…_

For a minute more, Ael mulled it over. What if she took a chance, and then Jeffery found out about it, somehow, learned all about the identity his little sister had given to herself so many years ago? No, her name, Ael, was far too precious and personal to disclose to someone she’d only just met, no matter how kind they appeared.

 _I’d rather die than have Jeff ever find out about my name,_ Ael decided. _Elements know he’d find a way to make a mockery of it._

“Who are you staying with, Jen? Is it all right if I call you that?” Ael’s wide-eyed, frightened stare, once again content to look down at the tabletop, really didn’t look well at all to Kat.

For a moment, the commander considered going straight to the captain; everyone aboard ship, child, civilian or officer was, in a way, his responsibility. _The poor girl looks like she’s lost her last friend_ , thought Kat, waiting on Ael to answer.

“My brother,” Ael answered at last. “There were some issues back home and-” How much did she dare tell this woman, possible new friend? “I had to board with him as a last-minute passenger.” _Why am I even saying anything?_

Honestly, Ael couldn’t begin to fathom exactly why it was she allowed this woman to sit near, or even why she beginning to disclose bits of information the majority of the populace knew nothing about. Perhaps Ael could simply sense the genuine kindness from one who sought only to help rather than harm, or maybe she was so downtrodden, so desperate for a friend that a wee bit of trust was suddenly mandatory for survival. It was one of the two; Ael wasn’t quite sure which.

“I see.” Though she knew Ael was easily startled, Kat wanted to scoop her up and hug her tight. It was plain to see the pain on the girl’s face, the wetness in her eyes. There was more to the situation, things Ael didn’t seem to feel like sharing. “Did you two have an argument?”

Face suddenly screwing up in a scowl, Ael wiped a hand over her eyes, folded her arms tight across her chest and issued a sniffle. Maybe she _should_ say something. Besides, it was almost making her sick to keep everything bottled up inside.

“If you can call it that,” said Ael sourly. “More like the standard verbal abuse. It’s been happening since I was small. I’m fifteen now.” When she spoke again, the words sounded slightly choked. “I’m just tired of it, you know?”

Normally, Ael trusted no one, attempting to keep her behavior as Romulan-like as possible. Well, as Romulan as she knew how to be. In this instance, however, severe paranoia wasn’t going to help, it would only hinder her ability to escape the room she couldn’t return to. The way Kat stared at her, kindly, wanting to help; it was enough for Ael to decide, just this once, maybe she could trust another human being. At least a little bit.

“Look, I-I just can’t go back to the quarters I share with my brother. I’m afraid to.” And then she mumbled, “Besides, he told me to go sleep in an airlock.”

Eyes creasing in concern, Kat said, slowly, “I think I should inform the captain about this.” Ael’s eyes widened once again. No!

 _Good job!_ Ael berated herself silently, sternly. _How do you manage to continue behaving ridiculously un-Romulan-like? What is their number one rule, huh? Don’t offer blind trust immediately, never offer more information than you have to. Do you have any idea how close the Stargazer still is in relation to spacedock? The captain could easily turn this ship around and haul both me and Jeff back there. Don’t blow the only chance you have of finding a way to Romulus!_

Able to see an internal battle being fought within Ael, eyes still wide and unblinking, panic-stricken, Kat said softly, “Honey, he needs to know, especially because it involves someone under his command.”

Shaking her head, Ael pleaded her case. “If Jeff gets into trouble because of me-” _Gah! I just gave his name._ Frustrated with herself, Ael nearly plonked her forehead down hard on the table.

 _“_ Sweetie _,_ your reaction alone is reason enough to alert the Captain. Now, I am going to ask you a question and will need an honest answer, all right?” Ael nodded, hoping she could answer at all. “Has anything between you and your brother ever become physical?”

“Not that I can remember.” _The physical abuse was my parents’ specialty, not his…_ Silently, Ael wondered if she could buy herself a little time until the captain was told about her and Jeff’s most recent fight. _If we can get at least a day of travel under our belts, it’ll be more difficult to just turn the ship around, heading back to spacedock, losing a day._ “If you’re going to tell the captain, could it at least wait until morning? I don’t want anything else to erupt tonight.” Ael’s voice lowered to a whisper. “Please, Kat. I don’t think my sanity could take it.”

“I really should inform him of this now,” Kat said seriously. Almost reduced to tearful begging, Ael’s hands clasping together, eyes pleading, Kat, against her better judgment, relented. Captain Brookes had likely already retired for the evening, Ael was in no immediate danger; waiting until the day shift began wouldn’t harm anything. Perhaps she could seek out this girl’s brother on her own, issue a stern warning. For now, though, Ael needed a bit of comfort, a place to rest safely. “Would you like to stay with me tonight?”

Eyes widening further, Ael nodded her head quickly. It was better than wandering the corridors all night or trying to sleep curled up in the corner of the lounge, hoping no one would notice. If anyone did, the captain would be alerted in either case.

“I- Thank you.” A new plan began to form, Ael wondering how possible it might be to stay with Kat for the duration of the Stargazer’s voyage, at least until the perimeter of the Neutral Zone had been reached. Figuring the captain would assign her a private room at some point, surely he had to consider it, now, Ael didn’t bother to ask about staying with Kat long-term. Instead, Ael asked, “Are you sure I’m not imposing or anything?” _Are you sure I can trust you?_

“Not at all,” Kat promised, answering the question Ael had posed aloud. “If you’re feeling tired, we can always head there now. Or would you prefer to stay here for a while?” For a minute or two, nothing was said, Ael staring through the large windows, awaiting an answer to a silent question Kat knew nothing about.

“Staying here for a while would be nice,” Ael said at last. Gaze sweeping the room, Ael’s eyes stopped on the replicator behind the bar, a rumble from her stomach reminding her she had yet to eat. “Do you think I could get something from the replicator? I was kind of driven out of quarters before I could get anything for dinner.”

 _This girls brother is going to be scrubbing plasma conduits like an unruly cadet by tomorrow afternoon,_ Kat thought to herself. For the time being, the thought was best pushed aside. “Anything you’re in the mood for?”

“I honestly have no idea.” As much as she’d been almost desperately craving a hearty bowl of stew not so long ago, the thought of it no longer held much appeal. “Oh, how about pancakes? Blueberry, maybe?”

When her parents had finally left Ael on her own, the teenage girl had begun introducing new things into her daily diet, things she never saw much of, if any, growing up. Nearly every morning, Ael had pancakes, blueberry, banana, chocolate chip, peanut butter, strawberry; the list was extensive, the varieties she managed to locate and try. To make matters even better, the replicator could make them all taste sinfully decadent yet see to it the foodstuffs contained excellent nutritional qualities, including vitamins if desired. Ael never felt bad about eating them; the simple meal guaranteeing she bounced out of the door with a smile on her face, nearly every morning she had them.

“They make me happy,” she explained, lifting her shoulders.

“Me too,” Kat said with an understanding smile. “I’ll be right back, OK?”

While Kat was away Ael returned to staring out at the stars, a little more hopeful than she had been before meeting the commander, someone who actually seemed to care about her well-being despite this marking their first encounter with one another.

 _I’ll bet Kat would make a wonderful mother_ , she thought. _Just like I know the General would make a wonderful father. I only wish I could tell him._

“Here we go.” Ael was quickly snapped back to reality when she heard Kat’s cheerful voice, involuntarily salivating at the delicious smell radiating from the plate of pancakes placed in front of her, a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream placed to the side. The woman behind the bar brought over an extra mug, passing it to Kat who gave her thanks before sitting back down at the table.

Kat held up the cup. “Vulcan Spice Tea.” She took a little sip. “Mm, still a bit too hot. I really should ask the replicator to make my tea cooler. Sometimes, it’s nice to have it a bit too hot to drink, though. Sitting here, watching the stars, a hot drink allowing you to stay for longer than you should.”

“Yeah,” said Ael softly, poking her fork into her meal yet not cutting into it. “I think that’s one reason why I’m poking at my food even though I’m pretty hungry.” The longer it took her to eat, Kat to drink her tea, the longer Ael could stay in the lounge, staring at the stars through the large windows, daydreams carrying her away to another world altogether.

Hunger eventually won out over the feeling of spending forever by the window. Pouring the little ramekin of sweet, sticky syrup over the pancakes, Ael dug in, the pancakes tinged purple all throughout the center thanks to the generous amount of blueberries programmed into the recipe. When the first forkful came into contact with her palate Ael didn’t bother repressing a sound of pure contentment. How long it had been since she made that particular noise; Ael couldn’t even begin to remember.

It was a rare, unusual feeling, to feel content, but she wasn’t about to question the momentary sense of calmness washing over her, even if it only lasted a few minutes.

Ael ate slowly, savoring the taste of the delicate and fluffy pancakes and occasionally taking sips of her hot chocolate, the whipped cream adorning the top of the drink left behind on her upper lip after almost every taste.

“Can I ask you something?” Ael asked, setting down her fork to wrap both hands around the still-steaming mug of hot chocolate, sipping slowly and allowing herself to get lost in the delicious warmth once she had finished her meal.

“Of course.”

“We’re supposed to be getting pretty close to the Neutral Zone at some point, yeah? I’m just curious if-”

It was difficult to find the words, Ael concerned about slipping something into the conversation she shouldn’t.

Kat mistook Ael’s worried tone for real concern about the possibility of the Stargazer happening across a cloaked Romulan warship, offering a reassuring smile.

“The Neutral Zone border tends to make a lot of people nervous,” said Kat understandingly. “It’s best to not think about all the “what ifs” you could face when flying so close to the perimeter. While there will probably be a cloaked vessel on the other side, quietly watching, making sure we stay on our side of the border; nothing should come of it.”

“So no chance of a confrontation?” Ael asked, sipping her drink, gaze slightly more curious than she meant to show. “Aren’t Romulans territorial?”

“There’s always a chance. In the Stargazer’s case, there’s no reason for the Romulans to show themselves. Unless their space is directly invaded or they somehow feel threatened, Romulans tend to avoid interacting with Starfleet vessels. As long as we stay on our side of the border, we’ll be just fine.”

Forcing mild relief to flood her face at the news, Ael finished her drink, her heart quickening upon hearing a cloaked vessel was sure to be out there, watching, waiting.

 _I’ll find you_ , Ael thought, _somehow._

She was determined all her efforts, this journey, wouldn’t all be for naught.

 

 

…

 

By the time Ael entered Kat’s quarters nearly an hour later, her spirits felt a little bit lighter, brightening further when she saw the size of the room.

_This has to be ten times larger than the room Jeff and I had! Nice! The windows in here are huge, too, not like that dinky little thing Jeff has in his room; reminded me of a porthole._

Even though Kat’s room wasn’t a permanent solution, only for the evening, Ael couldn’t help feeling better,  happily striding across the floor adorned with burgundy-colored carpeting, looking forward to settling her weary body on one of the two couches in the room. Placing her satchel beside her on the couch, Ael allowed her eyes to momentarily close, her thoughts suddenly light years away from where she sat.

_I can’t believe I actually feel sort of comfortable in here, safe.  Kat is certainly a lot nicer than Jeff. Most people probably are, though. I think it’s okay to relax a little. Daddy would want me to be in a place where I’m comfortable, able to relax a little, but I know I can’t let my guard down all the way._

“Would you like the bed tonight, Jen?”

Turning, slightly startled out of her thoughts, Ael glanced up at her rescuer before directing her gaze to the window, taking great delight when she noticed the stars streaking past. The Stargazer was finally at warp.

“If it’s okay, I think I’d like to stay here, watch the stars for a while more. Besides, I’m built small; the couch is almost too big,” Ael said, allowing a little laugh to bubble up. “Thanks, though.”

“Are you sure?” Ael nodded. “All right. Let me grab you a spare pillow and blanket.”

“Thank you.” Unzipping her satchel once Kat stepped away, Ael extracted her stuffed cat, placing him at her side, a piece of hard candy, lemon, which went right into her mouth, and her journal. “I think I’ll read for a while,” Ael said quietly. Perhaps a bit of writing was in order, too; the back of her journal still had a few free pages.

Once Ael had been graced with a midnight-blue blanket and matching pillow she laid down on the couch, curling up on her side with her stuffed toy beside her and her journal pressing lightly against her still sore chest.

Before turning in, Kat popped out of a little alcove at the back of the room, having changed into gray sweatpants and a white tank that read “Starfleet Academy” in bold, blue letters. “I’m going to turn in, OK? Feel free to wake me at any time if you need anything.”

“I will. Oh, wait!” There actually was something Ael had been dying to ask. “Does this ship have a holodeck?”

“It does,” Kat confirmed. “Deck six.”

“Would it bother anyone if I were to spend some time there tomorrow?” When she was much younger, bouncing from starship to starship to space station, Ael had always made it a priority to find out where the holodecks were located, if there were any, spending virtually all of her free time there, if allowed, basking in the comfort of something alien yet oh so comforting and familiar.

“I don’t see why not,” Kat said, yawning suddenly, body shuddering, eyes drooping. “It’s been a long day and oh-six hundred is going to come early.”

“I’ll probably fall asleep in a few minutes myself,” Ael remarked, yawning hugely out of nowhere.

“All right, Jen, see you tomorrow. Sleep well.”

“You too.” _I know where I’m going first thing in the morning, later tonight if I can’t get to sleep._

But as Ael curled up on the soft couch, snuggled into the cozy blanket, her eyes began to close, one hand reaching out to drag Mr. Mittens closer, stuffing him beneath her chin. The stars just beyond the window were the last thing that she saw before drifting off into a dreamless sleep, the twinkling orbs somehow reassuring her, telling her everything was going to be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

“The time is oh-six-hundred hours.”

“Too early,” Ael groaned from beneath her blanket when the computer, in a precise, clipped voice announced the morning wake up call. It took no effort on Ael’s part to fall back to sleep under the warm, cozy covering, dead to the world when Kat left for duty at oh-six-thirty.

The first thing Ael did when she stumbled tiredly off the couch, was head towards the area where she remembered the bathroom to be, at least in the shared quarters now left behind. Finding a study instead of a bathroom, Ael turned on her heel, heading back to the area of the room Kat had disappeared into the evening before. The bathroom sat tucked away in a little alcove off the bedchamber, Ael grinning in delight at the sight of a bathtub. She had momentarily forgotten command quarters were often blessed by running water, bathtubs; none of that sonic shower business. Warm water raining down on a weary body sounded preferable than sound pulses vibrating the grime off her body.

Seized by the desire to sink down into a hot bath, Ael contemplated running one. A dull ache in her chest reminding that her bandages likely needed changing hours ago. Fearful about what could happen if Kat returned to find bloody gauze pads in the trash receptacle, Ael balked at the idea of removing them at all. Fear for what could happen if she didn’t clean herself up, overrode the fear of being discovered, Ael sealing herself in the bathroom, deciding to have a shower over a bath, at least for the moment.

Peeling back the protective coverings, Ael winced at the newfound pain. The dressings had slightly become stuck to the wounds. “Oh, great,” said Ael, gently using a bit of warm water on a cloth, dabbing on and around the bandages to work them free. As she’d figured the afternoon before, there had been bleeding. Thankfully, it hadn’t been excessive. After locating a standard medical kit in a drawer, Ael set to work cleaning her wounds, unable to rebandage due to the fact there was nothing she could use. Other than a hypospray applicator, several tubes of pre-allocated medication in suspension, and a dermal regenerator, there was nothing cloth-like for Ael to use as a bandage.

“Medkits on starships probably haven’t had gauze in them for a couple centuries,” Ael guessed, prepping a hypospray. “I really hope Kat doesn’t check this anytime soon.” After injecting an analgesic, relief instantly flooding her face, double checking to make sure the wounds on her chest were clean, Ael set to work using the dermal regenerator. The device didn’t work exactly as intended, the wounds it attempted to hide forever much too large to do much good. In the end, Ael couldn’t quite make the cuts disappear; if anything, it looked like a beginning medical student, possibly a Klingon, had gotten hold of her.

“That’s going to leave a nasty scar,” said Ael, packing the medkit up, placing it as she’d found it. “Well, at least it matches the rest of me.” For a moment, a finger lingered on marks on her wrist, evidence of another attempt at taking her life years ago. Only that time, she’d stopped short of doing more than inflicting superficial wounds.

With a shudder, Ael shed the rest of her clothes and stepped into the shower, sighing in momentary contentment as the warm water rained down.

Warm, clean, and free of the ache in her chest, Ael headed to the replicator, ordering a stack of blueberry pancakes, hot chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate shavings, eating quietly at the table overlooking the large viewports. Feeling her mind surprisingly clear, for what felt like the first time in her life, Ael wrapped her hands around the mug of hot drink and stared out into space, marveling at the beauty of the iridescent rainbow trails the stars created when Stargazer was at warp.

 

Twenty minutes later the sound of a ringing chirp interrupted the quiet; it took Ael a moment to remember the room didn’t belong to her. “It could just be someone for Kat,” she murmured. “What if it’s Jeff?” Feeling a sense of dread invading her calm, Ael bade the person on the other side of the door to enter, bracing for the worst, relaxing when Captain Brookes stepped in.

“Good morning, young lady,” Captain Brookes began brightly, Ael attempting to return his overly-cheerful smile. It was a bit difficult. A moment ago, when she thought it had been her brother at the door…

 _Push the thought aside_ , Ael told herself sternly, able to smile with a bit more authenticity than before. “Good morning.”

“I hear you made a new friend last night,” said Brookes, Ael nodding as she sipped her drink. “Well, you couldn’t ask for a nicer one than Kat. She has a knack for being able to put a smile on just about anyone’s face.”

“I’m glad I ran into her last night or rather, glad she ran into me.”

Captain Brooke’s expression suddenly turned serious. “As am I. About an hour ago, Kat came to visit me in my ready room, alerting me to a situation that has her concerned, me especially.” Ael visibly paled, praying her pancakes wouldn’t make a sudden reappearance all over the captain.

“Um, what did she say?” Ael willed her heart to slow its frantic beating, at the very least, not jump up into her throat or plummet down to her toes.

“Honestly, she didn’t say much, only able to share what you had told her.” Moving from exceptionally serious to softer, gentler, Brookes asked, “Are you able to tell me what happened last night between you and your brother?”

 _Just tell him. What is there to lose at this point, well, other than the possibility of being dropped off at the nearest starbase…_ “There isn’t much to tell,” Ael began hesitantly. Without sharing too much of her past history though she felt like suddenly disclosing it all, Ael, to the point, disclosed the goings on of the previous evening, ending with how she’d come to be in Kat’s quarters overnight. Ael figured the captain already knew about the meeting in the ship’s lounge and didn’t offer much about it.

Captain Brookes had frowned for the better part of Ael’s explanation, shaking his head, mostly to himself. To think a member of Starfleet, one of his own crewman could behave in such an appalling manner…

“I certainly don’t blame you for running away,” said Brookes, sighing. “Something tells me this situation is going to need resolution before Stargazer returns to Earth in six months.” Ael paled again, silently begging the captain not to send her away too soon.  “For now, however, it’s apparent we find you a more private set of quarters. Thankfully, we have one available, one I previously overlooked,” said Brookes with a somewhat sly smile.

Curiosity piqued, Ael began to pack the items she’d removed from her satchel the evening before, back into it. “I get my own quarters, really?” She almost couldn’t believe it.

“In this case, I think it’s necessary,” the captain said, Ael following him out the door. Silently, she made a mental note to find Kat later and thank her for her kindness. “Now, we only have the one room available, but I think you’ll find it comfortable.”

Ael attempted to contain her excitement en route to her new home-away-from-home, excitement which exploded out of her in surprised laughter when the door opened, revealing a VIP suite. Normally reserved for ambassadors, dignitaries or other special personnel ferried between ports, Ael could only stare, wide-eyed and in awe at the room destined to be her temporary home for the next several months.

The large stateroom sprawled before Ael who seemed at a loss where to begin in a room much larger than she’d ever seen. Comprised of a living area next to four large viewports, a dining area with replicator, Ael stepped further inside, taking in a large sleeping area, a smaller one just off to the side, in a little alcove, along with a bathroom that featured an oval bathtub a bit larger than the one Kat had had. There was even a separate study, an area almost as large as the quarters she had once shared with her annoying, hateful brother.

“This is- I mean wow, I-” The best Ael could seem to do was stammer.

“I take it you approve?” said Captain Brookes, smiling at the wide-eyed wonder currently on display.

“Definitely,” said Ael breathily. “This is a seriously nice room.”

“VIP Suites typically are,” said Brookes with a wink.

_A VIP- Oh, I’d love to see the look on Jeff’s face right about now!_

Nearly floating across the burgundy colored carpet in joyful spirits, Ael placed her satchel on one of the large, comfortable-looking, ivory-colored chairs which sat nearest the windows, two on each side of the couch that looked like it could seat four.

 _Do I dare even accept this? Maybe it’s Brookes’ way of giving me a little something nice, for being forced to put up with Jeff’s abusive crap all the time_. Instead of vocalizing her thoughts, Ael simply said, “Thank you. I really appreciate this,” all the while trying not to break down and cry in gratitude.

“You are quite welcome, Jennifer,” Brookes said. As usual, Ael had to restrain a flinch when her human name was spoken. “You deserve it. I’ll leave you to settle in and get your bearings for now, but please let me know if you need anything, all right?”

“I will, Captain, thank you. Oh, and tell Kat that I said thanks for letting me stay with her last night.” _Maybe she’ll stop by later._

Brookes promised to pass the message along, leaving Ael to get settled. It didn’t take terribly long. _I wonder if I can get candles_ , Ael thought, leaning against the window. _Put two or three on this table, keep the lights dimmed low, and I could sit here and write in my journal for hours._

The thoughts, though idle, were nice, Ael content to imagine what it would feel like to curl up in one of the comfy chairs, a soft robe wrapped around her body, hot drink nearby on the table, precious journal open in front of her and a pen at the ready. Certain she could spend hours in quiet thought, Ael moved into the bedroom, the wide bunk a little too large for her small stature. It was impossible to resist flopping down on its surface, sighing contentedly.

A PADD sat on the nightstand, deactivated. Ael turned it on, casually prodding the display, searching for nothing in particular. Allowing the PADD to drop down beside her on the bed, Ael closed her eyes and breathed in deep.

“In your face, Jeff,” she mumbled, drifting off for a little doze. After a short, sudden nap on the soft bed, Ael hopped up with only one thought on her mind: The holodeck. There, she could create just about any environment, providing the computer had them on file. The thought of wiling away the day, immersed in fantasy she could only wish was her reality was simply too good to pass up.

After stopping by the bathroom to wash her face, promising herself a good, long soak in the bathtub later, Ael grabbed her satchel and headed out of the suite, making a beeline for the turbolift at the end of the corridor.

“Computer,” she said, “deck six.”

Anticipation filled Ael’s heart as the lift carried her off towards the chosen destination, a place where nearly any fantasy could become one’s reality for a chosen period of time. Ael exited the lift with a little spring in her step, passing not a single soul on her way to the holodecks. Slightly unusual, to be on a deck with seemingly no one around, but at least it would stop someone from overhearing the request she was about to make to the computer.

“Computer, do you have any locations on Romulus I could visit?” If any were on file, they’d be programmed into the database, likely placed there from undercover operatives upon returning home to the federation. A secretive society, Romulus’ beauty was still known to outsiders as wonderous, awesome. At least, if some knew where to look, a holodeck, for example, outsiders of the empire could witness the glorious splendor of a few specific sights, too.

“Locations on the planet Romulus on file include, The Valley of Chula, the Korthre Cliffs, the Eastern Umrika plains, the Apnex Sea, the Jeweled Forest, the Firefalls of-”

“Let’s go with the Valley of Chula,” she said. “Computer, would you be able to create a person?” Palms sweating, Ael attempted something she hadn’t tried on countless other holodecks in the past, to create the father she’d always wanted. She had always been too afraid of either getting caught or of having the general behave like nothing she’d ever imagined.

“Define parameters,” said the computer.

“It’s an existing person, a Romulan,” said Ael. The computer held silent, awaiting further instructions. “Um, is it possible to create General Movar? Do you have his information on file?”

“Affirmative.”

“ _Excuse me_?” Ael said, shocked. “Did you just tell me you have data stored in the database on _him_?”

“Affirmative,” said the computer a second time.

Ael suddenly felt a mixture of emotions: happiness, pure elation, joyful beyond reason; nervous anxiety sat in the pit of her stomach, too. What if she created him and he was nothing like she’d dreamed? What if the data stored within the computer's databanks said Movar was a mean-spirited, callous man. But what if the opposite was true?

“If he’s mean, I could always reprogram him,” she mumbled aloud. “To be fair, I doubt anyone has ever interacted enough with him to know how he behaves outside the military.” Carrying the rank of general meant Movar was high within the ranks of the Tal Shiar, a highly respected, feared elite intelligence agency that made its home on Romulus. Its purpose was to guard the empire against its enemies, as well as keep a close eye on the general populace, always searching for traitors amongst them.

“Should I, or shouldn’t I?” Ael mused aloud.

“Please repeat request.”

“Oh, I wasn’t talking to you. Hush a minute.” Wiping sweaty palms on the skirt of her dress, Ael licked suddenly dry lips. “This may be the only chance I get to ever meet him. I’m going to end up living in the holodeck if this works. Besides, just because he may be ruthless in his service to the empire, doesn’t necessarily mean anything when it comes to being around family, those who are most cherished.”

Attempting to project her voice clearly, Ael ended up instructing the computer through wobbling tone. In the end, she programmed Movar to appear as he normally would present, in a typical Romulan home, one befitting a Romulan general. Last of all, she requested that, upon entry to the holodeck, Movar would only see her as his daughter, and know her by name – Ael.

“Program complete,” said the computer. “Enter when ready.”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” said Ael, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath, lifting her chin, squaring her shoulders, stepping into the holodeck.

Ael stepped into a sunlit room, golden light streaming in through large bay windows overlooking one of the most beautiful gardens she had ever seen. Flowers and plants, some appearing normal, others exotically alien especially the one with waving purple tendrils, caught her immediate interest. One of the plants seemed to be waving at her, Ael only smiled at it, and then gave it a little wave in return even though it had likely been caught in a breeze, not truly greeting her. A glass coffee table sat in the center of the room, several large, earth-toned chairs arranged around it, all sitting beneath a skylight that spilled golden warmth over the furniture. Bookshelves lined the far wall, books of many different sizes and descriptions filling its shelves. Ael wondered how many were actually readable.

“Computer, how about a cat?” Ael asked. “Every home needs a cat. Do you have Romulan cats on file by chance?”

“Negative.”

“Drats. OK, generic Terran feline. Silver tabby, short hair. Green eyes. Oh, make it friendly, please.”

A silver coated cat with black stripes and swirls on its coat, apple-green eyes flecked with yellow, sparkling in mischief, appeared on the nearest chair. The cat meowed, rubbing its side against the chair; Ael bent to pet the feline and then lifted it into her arms.

Stepping over to the window, tempted to sit on the large window seat, allowing the warm light to blanket her in warmth, Ael gave pause. Did she hear footsteps?

Momentary panic washed over her; what if this had been the wrong thing to do? What if, despite being her father he was a horrible person, treating her as roughly as her Terran one had seen fit to do?

Instead of calling for the exit or demanding the program pause, Ael held the cat a little tighter, the animal emitting a little squeak, slipping out of the girl’s arms as she stood there at the window.

Footsteps echoed down the hall, Ael tensing when she heard them enter the room. Closer and closer they came, Ael turning fast, startled, staring up wide-eyed at the one whom she had only ever seen as daddy.

Standing at just over six foot five inches in height a distinguished-looking man with olivey-bronze colored skin, austere features, and lines on his face telling of his ascent into middle age, one hundred and thirty years for a Romulan, stood close. Black hair cropped short in the traditional military style, dark brown eyes staring right at her, concerned due to her sudden startle, almost panicked expression. Clad in a padded military tunic with severally high collar and squared shoulders, colored black with minuscule white marks dotting the center of each square, spiked, double-strapped over belt bearing the Romulan crest in the center; three silver crescents and diamond on his collar. Every inch a Romulan general, one who now asked, in a deep, soothing voice if she, his daughter, was all right.

“Ael, what has happened?” he asked. “What has startled you so?”

Without a word, overwhelming emotion crashing into her like a wave on a shore, Ael flung herself into his arms and began to weep. Real or otherwise; oh, how this moment had been longed for. The only issue, now, became whether or not she would ever be able to let him go again.

Instead of cruelly pushing her away, demanding she cease behaving like a toddler, something no doubt members of the Federation assumed a Romulan might do when confronted with a sobbing child, their own or otherwise, Movar held her tight. Moving to sit, Ael was soon cuddled up close in his lap, attempting to get her bearings while her “father” soothed her gently.

 _I don’t know what to say_ , thought Ael in a panic. _Am I supposed to blurt out something weird like “I never thought I’d see you?” He’d think me out of my mind._

Instead, once Ael found her ability to speak, she told Movar that she’d had a bit of a nap after tending to some studies, a good bout of nightmares having rudely invaded her dreamscape.

“E-everything just felt s-so real,” she stammered through her tears.

“There are times when nightmares may seem startlingly real; rest assured they are not. Whatever you dreamed will not harm you, Ael. Do you trust me when I tell you that?”

“Of course I-I do, Daddy,” said Ael, wiping her eyes. “It didn’t help that when I woke, I felt disoriented. I ended up wandering in here, almost without realizing. I thought looking at the gardens, the sunny day; I figured it might make me feel better. I’m glad you’re here,” she said with a shuddering sigh, hugging him tighter still, head pushing up beneath his chin as she snuggled close. “You always make everything OK. I love you.”

“And I you, Ael,” he said, once again reassuring his “daughter” she was safe from her nightmares, that all was well.

For the better part of an hour, Ael stayed as close to Movar as possible, refusing to let him go, nearly falling back to sleep after her bout of tears left her feeling weary. At long last, Ael slowly, carefully detached herself, though made no attempts to get to her feet.

Finally, Ael felt well enough to move, determined not to waste a second of time, allowing the program to play through the rest of the day cycle, all the way to sunset. Ael began the afternoon hours by taking a meander through the gardens with Movar beside her; he’d actually laughed at her sudden bout of curious exuberance. Everything seemed to be new to her eyes, every plant and flower bringing forth smiles of child-like delight.

After the gardens, Ael did her best to convince her father that a trip into one of the smaller cities was warranted, perhaps for a bit of relief from the tediousness surrounding her studies, not that she actually had any. Giddy as could be when he said “yes”, Ael grabbed her satchel and raced down to the car. Once she’d been buckled in, Ael wondered if she should have mentioned her motion sickness.

Green around the gills once the car emerged into one of the smaller cities on the outskirts of the capital, Ael realized projections of photons and light could definitely make one feel ill. “Just a little, ah, dizzy,” said Ael upon exiting the car. “I forgot to take anti-nausea medication again. I guess I got a little too excited.”

“Deep breaths, Ael,” instructed Movar. “Get your bearings.”

Easier said than done; at least there hadn’t been vomit. Ael doubted such a mess would vanish once the program shut down. The afternoon turned into a whirlwind of activity, Ael visiting what felt like a myriad of shops in such a short time.

A music shop catering to those with musical talent, even those who didn’t have much, prompted Ael to enter, mostly in part due to a pretty tune played on a six-stringed instrument. Listening intently, Ael idly wandered the shop, looking at this and that, never once wondering how close to actual reality this place might be. After leaving the music shop behind, Ael nearly pulled her father along to a bookshop, crammed inside for over an hour, looking at various books, none of which she could actually understand.

“The Federation knows next to nothing of the language,” she said quietly, leafing through a heavy book with a black cover, silver lettering for the title. “It probably can’t add readable books in the Romulan tongue.” It was still nice to look and explore.

A tea shop, two clothing stores, and one outdoor market later, Ael was beginning to feel a bit weary, a familiar ache presenting in her chest, the earlier shot of analgesic beginning to wear off. However, a new source of strength quickly came out of hiding; Ael spied a confectioner down the road and across the way.

“Is it all right if we go in?”

“Of course, Ael. We always do when I bring you into the city. You may find one thing to purchase.”

“Aw, only one?” Ael’s whine was teasing, playful; Movar smiled gently and placed a hand atop her head.

“Yes, Ael. One. An overabundance of sugar tends to make you unable to sleep well. Often, it tends to make you especially lethargic.”

“One thing it is,” said Ael moving about the shop in hopes of finding something especially good, finding several instead. It didn’t take long for Ael to find a little box holding five beautifully handcrafted chocolates, each with a different filling. Ael ate the middle one, a dark and bitter chocolate with a mildly sweet cream and berry filling before making it outside.

Real food was soon needed however, Ael’s rumbling stomach found her asking a question, a café across the way catching her eye. “Daddy, I have the strangest question,” she said as they headed across the street.

“I will provide you with an answer if I am able,” he said attentively.

“Okay, so I’m writing this story, and one of the characters ends up on a holodeck,” she began. “If she was to eat a meal while there, what happens? Is it real food or…?” _My stomach is about to eat itself; please tell me the food in here is real._

“A holodeck combines forcefield, transporter, and replicator technology in order for it to function. Most holodecks have a program algorithm that replicates objects most likely to be consumed, allowing for tangible food and drink to be viable constructs within most programs.”

“That makes sense,” said Ael with a nod. All at once, another idea sprang to mind, one that almost took her mind off a hungry tummy. _I wonder if he knows anything about sending encrypted messages… When we get closer to the zone, I must remember to ask, make it out to be something for my story._ “I have some other questions, but I can wait till later. Right now, I’m so hungry I could eat that horrible rust-colored soup they serve at the little place in the capital.

“An acquired taste, that one,” said Movar, adding, “It is a wonder they manage to sell any of it at all. Usually, it is difficult for them to even give it away.”

Giggling in amusement, Ael and her father sat down for a nice, if not late, lunch, the girl intently watching the people that moved to-and-fro around the city. All too soon and it was time to depart, return home. Ael quietly managed to get the computer to replicate some anti-nausea medication, to make the car trip an easier affair than before.

“Thanks for the day out, Daddy,” said Ael when they pulled up out front. “I needed it.”

“It was not a problem, Ael. We all need a break from time to time. Tomorrow, it will be time to return to routine. Remember: Daily study and training is important; I know you wish to attend the Imperial War College.”

“I do,” she said honestly. “More than anything. Tomorrow, I’ll get back into the thick of things.”

Taking what purchases she had made inside, wondering if there was a chance the dress she bought could come with her, Ael, once in her room, whispered for the computer to replicate the dress, now, on her bed, make it a tangible item she could take out secured in her satchel.

A new dress shimmered into existence, a mixture of scarlet and black, gold accents around the sleeves and hem, distinctly Romulan in design. Ael wasted little time placing it inside her bag. She even ate two more pieces from the box of chocolates. A silky-smooth milk chocolate round melted on her tongue quickly followed up with a decadent caramel.

“I almost wish I hadn’t bothered to-” Ael began aloud, slowly sinking down on the bed. “Leaving is going to be really hard, even if I can come back tomorrow.” There was little point in fretting away the remainder of the day, her last precious moments in this place for the next twelve hours at least. “Computer,” said Ael, “let’s see something spectacular. I’m going to head outside and I want to see one hell of a gorgeous sunset.”

Painted a mixture of gold, red, and orange with a hint of yellow, the sky quickly gave way to sunset. The colors pure, fading into one another easily, beautifully, the sun slowly began to sink down on the horizon. A flash of something caught Ael’s gaze and she turned, a large bird gliding along the soft evening breeze, momentarily circling low as if to give the visitor a better look.

“Is that a mogai bird?” Ael asked breathlessly, gaze riveted to the great bird whose likeness adorned the empire’s crest, holding the twin worlds of Romulus and Remus in its talons.

“It is indeed, my daughter,” said Movar, standing beside Ael, watching in admiration as the bird glided gracefully around them in a wide arc. “A rarity to see one in this province, though they can be spotted occasionally, usually when the skies are clear.”

Soon, the soaring bird glided to the ground, settling easily upon the earth, large wings stretching to show off their impressive size, three and a half meters in total span, before folding tightly against its body. Golden eyes blinked alertly, large head tipping to the side, then turning to stare off into the distance. In profile, the mogai’s head was sharp, sleekly defined, its large, curved beak honestly a little terrifying. Cobalt black feathers covered almost every inch of the predatory bird, flecks of gold dotted down the bird’s breast, crimson under feathering present on the wings.

Staring in respect and admiration, Ael stayed close to Movar and watched the bird, waiting to see what it might do. With a soft warble, a possibly contented noise, the mogai lifted a wing and began to preen. It amazed Ael how the bird’s great beak could stroke along its feathers with such care yet had the capability of crushing the bones of its prey without a second thought. Hopping twice on the spot, the mogai spread wide its wings and soared skyward, deafening screech projecting clearly throughout the province.

Ael watched until it was but a speck in the distance, her father’s voice calling her back to what he knew to be reality.

“Come, Ael,” said Movar, resting a hand gently on her shoulder. “Let us go inside.”

“Can I have another moment? I just want to look at the sky a minute or two more.”

“Do not be too long,” said Movar with a pat on her shoulder. “Evening meal is soon on the table.”

“I won’t be,” Ael promised, doing her best to maintain the smile on her face, to not let Movar know that any moment now, she was about to weep like a child. To him, this was real, she was his daughter; he had no idea he was but a hologram.

Once he’d gone into the house, Ael spent several quiet minutes staring into the sky; she could almost swear the stars, the twin moons shining down from above were more than mere photons and projections of light. As much as it hurt, Ael knew she had to make herself deactivate the program, at least until the following day. To think about heading back through the holodeck’s doors, back out into a world where nothing felt right…

“I can come back tomorrow,” she said softly. “For now, I have to get out of here before I lose the will to walk away.”

Somewhere in the distance, Ael could hear the mogai bird’s cry; it sounded as sad as she felt. With a heavy heart, wishing the home behind her, the father inside, could remain her reality forever, homesick for a world she’d never truly known, Ael, with tears streaming down her face, called for the exit.

 

*****

 

Ael wandered down the corridors on deck six in a daze after leaving the holodeck.  According to the computer, she had remained there for just over eight hours. It was a wonder no one had come by to see who had been engaged in what over such a long period, it was also a wonder she hadn’t stayed longer despite knowing she really couldn’t. Immersion within the holodeck program often forced concept of time to take a backseat.

In many respects, it had been exceptionally difficult to leave her “father” behind. Every little noise in the corridor caused Ael to stop and turn. Once, she swore she heard steady, strong wingbeats, a possible mogai bird about to fly up on her from behind, and then a series of footfalls made her think Movar had exited the holodeck, an impossible feat. Suddenly, Ael’s breath caught in her throat, the feeling choking her. Having a mogai bird at her back would have been far preferable to what she saw now: Lieutenant Jeffery Wallace, stalking up the very corridor she was heading down, malcontent expression turning livid at the sight of her.

 

“ _Fvadt_ ,” Ael swore quietly. In the literal blink of an eye the past hours of happiness, contentment, joy; it all vanished fast, replaced by intense feelings of anxiety, the urge to turn tail and flee back to the safety of the holodeck. If she could get there first, fast enough, perhaps she could call forth a squadron of fierce Romulan soldiers into existence, programming them with but a word, forcing them to guard her with their lives.

 _There’s no way in hell I’d be fast enough_ , Ael thought in a panic. _Maybe I could resume the last program. Daddy would damn well protect me, I know he would!_ Clutching the strap of her satchel tight, Ael lifted her chin and steeled herself against the verbal onslaught soon on the way. _He likely had the computer search for my location; it’s probably the only damn reason he’s on this deck at all_ , she surmised. _I can handle this myself. Daddy would want me to try. Besides, Jeff isn’t dumb enough to end his career by hitting me._

Forcing herself to stand tall, striding purposefully towards the turbolift at the end of the corridor, imagining a certain Romulan general was beside her, giving her strength, Ael dared to continue on. After a few seconds, Ael was unable to move further, Jeffery blocking her path.

Narrowing her eyes, screwing her face up in a hateful scowl, Ael said, flatly, “Move. _Now_.”

“The mewling kitten of the family finally finds her claws,” Said Jeffery, folding his arms, refusing to budge an inch to allow Ael to pass by.

“Fucking _move_ , will you?” Ael growled, checking right, then left for a way around. Built small, Ael supposed she could simply make a run for it, ducking past. Being in uniform, currently on duty, surely, he wouldn’t dare make a grab for her.

“Or else what?” Jeffery said his voice dangerously deep. “Do you know what I’ve been doing since oh-six-forty this morning, you horrid little targ?”

“Obviously nothing that involves good hygiene,” Ael responded wrinkling her nose, backing up several steps out of unease. The second her brother had taken two steps closer, a funk seemed to envelop the general area in which she stood. “Seriously, Jeff, why the hell do I care what you’ve been doing? Though by the smell of things, you’ve been swimming in a toilet.”

“I’ve been scrubbing plasma conduits like a cadet for the last God only knows how many hours. I know you had _something_ to do with it,” he growled, pointing a finger menacingly toward Ael’s chest, causing her to take another step back.

 _Thanks, Kat_ , Ael thought, the meaning of the silent words in thought both sarcastic, yet thankful. On one hand, Ael was amused Jeff had been ordered to do such a menial, horrid task; no doubt he deserved it. On the other hand, by ordering Jeff to partake in the laborious job, another round of arguing was beginning to unfold. As usual, Ael was the only one available to blame. Then again, perhaps it had been the captain that had ordered Jeffery to give the plasma conduits proper attention. In any case, the current argument was less than desired.

“Hey, how exactly is it my fault you were ordered to clean some stupid conduits?” Ael found it difficult to control the urge to shout. “Aren’t maintaining the plasma conduits a part of an engineer’s routine, anyway?”

“If they need to be repaired, yes! Generally, only cadets or insubordinate officers are sent to spend _hours_ cleaning them.”

“You probably did something to deserve it!” Ael couldn’t hold back, shouting at her brother, praying it would attract the attention of at least one other person on the deck. “You’re such an asshole to me; it wouldn’t surprise me if you treated every ensign or cadet with contempt. Air and Fire help you if you dared treat a superior like they’re beneath you.”

“Air and- Why the hell do you talk that way?” Jeffery demanded. When an answer neglected to come, Ael fixing him with a disgusted stare, he said, “I know you had something to do with it. You ran to Captain Brookes last night, didn’t you? _Admit it_ ,” he seethed, yelled when Ael, again, refused to respond. “So what little sob story did you use, eh?”

“I never went to the captain!” Ael hollered, biting back the angry tears threatening to spill over. _He came to me, actually,_ she almost yelled.

“Little liar. I should toss you out a damn airlock.”

 _“Imirrhlhhse’hr_!” Ael exploded, the alien word ripe with insult, the true meaning of the word unclear to Jeffery yet the potency of it glaringly obvious. Before Jeff could respond, a familiar voice from behind, though angry, flooded Ael with relief.

“Hey! What is going on down here?”

Ael turned quickly, happily relieved to see Kat striding up. The commander wore a serious expression, one that reminded Ael of the calm before a storm. Inwardly, she grinned. After this little incident, an on-duty officer found in the corridor yelling at, insulting a civilian no matter who she was to him; Ael knew Jeffery was bound to be saddled with something far worse than scrubbing plasma conduits.

 _If he gets sentenced to waste extraction, I’m going to laugh my ass off._ The smile and laughter of such an idea swallowed away, Ael focused on holding her ground instead of stepping back to hide behind the commander.

“Lieutenant,” Kat said sharply. “What is the problem here?”

“There is no problem, Commander,” said Jeffery in a strained voice. It felt good to hear her brother’s arrogant, normally cocky voice wobble in uncertainty.

“I’m not sure I buy that, Wallace.” Kat’s unforgiving gaze told Jeffery she didn’t buy it at all. “Are you aware of how far your voices actually carried? I could hear you up near the holodecks, and Lieutenant Wallace, I do _not_ care for what I heard.”

“But I-”

“No,” said Kat, stepping forward. “There is no excuse for what I heard that I will accept. You are a Starfleet officer, currently one who is on duty. Yelling at young civilians in the middle of a corridor, blaming them for your plight is sorely unprofessional and will not be tolerated. Oh, and the threat concerning tossing her out an airlock; that’s twice now, Lieutenant. I ought to bust your sorry butt back down to cadet, have you put off the ship at the nearest starbase.”

Jeffry’s face went red at the dressing down. Ael thought she could see traces of purple on his forehead. And his eye was definitely twitching a little more than usual, a sure sign of the anger he was currently trying not to unload on a superior officer.

“If you have an issue with anyone aboard ship, you either resolve it peacefully or stay out of their way. Since this issue, one I am becoming increasingly familiar with does not seem to have a peaceful resolution, you, Lieutenant, and I use that term loosely for the moment, are to steer clear of this young lady. Am I clear?”

“Crystal,” said Jeffery tightly.

“Good, because if you feel like harassing, _threatening_ her again… Well, let’s just say that there are worse things than plasma conduits on this ship that could use a good scrubbing.”

“Does this mean I can get by now?” Without waiting for an answer Ael pushed past her brother, feeling invincible for the first time in her life, the feeling increasing when Kat stepped into the turbolift beside her, providing the younger girl with an increased sense of security she had never known before now. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m glad someone happened to be around.”

“I was actually looking for you,” Kat said as doors began to close. “I wanted to see how you were settling into your new room. I hear you managed a VIP suite…”

“Yeah, it’s really something. I have a bathtub; can you believe it? And the size of the bed-”

The doors snapped shut, the lift departing, neither Ael or Kat privy to the loud, belligerent curse that rang out, echoing down the corridor on deck six.


	5. Chapter 5

“Mmm, I could get used to this.”

It had been nearly six days since Ael had boarded Stargazer alongside her brother, someone whom she had, thankfully, not seen since their last run-in with one another on deck six, and though it had taken a little time, she had quickly fallen into a new routine. The privacy of her own, way-too-large room in which to relax, a new friend, Kat, checking in with her every evening to make sure all was well in her world; despite being on a starship, surrounded by humans, Ael felt comfortable, if not, still, out of place.

Every morning Ael woke at oh-seven-hundred, always hitting the proverbial snooze button after the computer told of the time, dozing for another ten to fifteen minutes before slipping out of bed, indulging in pancakes from the replicator, a food that had quickly become a staple in the morning, and then headed off to the bathroom to relax in a hot bath for the better part of another hour.

Today, Ael added a generous palm full of bath salts to the water, the tiny crystals scented with sweetness, reminding Ael of the last time she’d ever walked into a sweets shop, tinging the water a delicate shade of orangey-pink. There had been little time wasted in sinking down into the water up to her ears. With the lighting level kept low, Ael very nearly dozed off, sitting up straight when a bit of water went up her nose.

“Second time I’ve done that,” said Ael, still relaxed. “Computer, what time is it now?”

“The current time is oh-eight-thirty-hours.”

It was time to begin the rest of her day. After drying and dressing, grabbing the PADD from the drawer of the nightstand, she’d taken to using it as an additional journal, tucking it into the satchel now on the floor by the bed, Ael made her way down to the turbolift at the end of the hall.

The holodecks had also become a strict part of daily routine. Ael could never imagine skipping a day especially since she’d been able to create the father she’d always wished for. On her second visit, Ael had played the day through as though it was a normal day in the life of her Romulan self, including devoting several hours to study. Mostly, though, she refused to waste a minute of time with her ‘father’. She’d even begun having her afternoon meal on the holodeck, sometimes, dinner.

On the third day, Ael had barely been able to leave it all behind, and she still didn’t know how no one had noticed the holodeck in use for ten consecutive hours. There had been tears in her eyes that night, Ael, unable to disclose the true meaning behind her wet eyes, confiding to Movar that she didn’t want to fall asleep because of the nightmares sure to come. He had spent more than an hour at her bedside, holding her hand, reassuring Ael it was indeed safe to sleep, that he was there beside her, not to fear.

Once Ael had begun to doze, Movar had left the room quietly, Ael, tearfully, quietly calling for the exit, wandering the ship for over an hour after, finally finding her way back to her room, collapsing wearily into her bunk.  

At least the following days had been better ones, Ael calling up other prominent sights on Romulus, touring through them, father at her side. Part of her, though, continually wondered not only how accurate the places she visited were when compared to the real thing, but also how accurately Movar was being portrayed.

Lifting her shoulders in response to the thought that settled over her in the turbolift, as it usually did, Ael contemplated her activities for the day.

 _I still haven’t asked him how he’d send a private transmission across the border of the Neutral Zone,_ she thought, paranoid in regards to speaking the words aloud. At some point, she was going to have to ask. Hologram aside, Ael knew they generally weren’t intentionally programmed to be stupid and though she had a feeling a Romulan general would indeed know exactly how to send a covert message without being caught in the process, it didn’t necessarily mean this version of him, did. Deciding she would have to ask the computer, at least at some point, to fill his holographic mind with an abundance of technical know-how, Ael continued on down the corridor.

Getting a message across the border was the least of her worries. Ael, now, thinking further ahead, wondering what to do when it came time to transport her over to the Romulan vessel.

“That’s going to be the impossible part,” Ael mumbled aloud. “I’ll figure it out. Somehow. I hope.”

Soon standing in front of the holodeck control interface, Ael went through the sights she’d already seen. “The Fire Falls, Valley of Chula, Korthre Cliffs… I haven’t seen the Apnex Sea yet.”

Ael quickly called up the program, pausing before she could ask for Movar’s character to be added. Maybe today she could explore on her own. Feeling lonely, spending the day without another soul, holographic or not, to talk to didn’t sound terribly appealing. Taking a deep breath, Ael asked the computer for something different. Perhaps she could treat it like a day out on her own; all teenagers had those after all, didn’t they?

“Computer, add character. Let’s see, a generic Romulan teenager about seventeen, male. If you’re familiar with the province, have him hail from up near Dartha. Have him dressed for a day at the beach; don’t put him in a soldier’s uniform or anything.”

There was a little chirp, followed by, “Program complete. You may enter when ready.”

“A day out at the beach, no big deal. Daddy is off doing high-ranking soldier things.” Partially convinced, Ael stepped through the doors of the holodeck, transported to a tranquil place with a dream-like quality, the air smelling of salt. Beneath a clear blue sky, a great sea stretched for what appeared to be miles, the sun raining down its light and warmth, sparkling on the surface of the water. Lavender-kissed waters darkening to amethyst, lapped at the shoreline, the fine, silvery sand glittering in the afternoon sun. Further down the shoreline waves surged powerfully, white-capped, crashing down upon rocks teeming with vibrant blue moss.

Socks and shoes parted company with her feet, Ael grinning in delight at the sensation of the soft sand between her toes. It was a pleasant sensation, maybe a little gritty, but nice. She’d never felt sand between her toes before now. It felt exhilarating, to say the least. A breeze swirled through and blew the sand about, Ael scrunching her eyes closed to avoid finding out what the silky yet gritty particles felt like when exposed to such a sensitive area.

“I definitely made the right choice,” said Ael, eyes again open to the sight of the sea and sprawling shore. A lone figure walking toward her from down the beach captured Ael’s attention next. Out of the corner of Ael’s eye, a momentary distraction, she spied a grey and white seabird, gliding over the very top of the water, searching for fish.

Gaze flicked back to the one whom she’d called into existence via the computer, momentarily forgetting he was only a hologram by design. Approaching to stand before Ael was a Romulan teenager of approximately seventeen years, his light-olive complexion already beginning to bronze, thanks to the sun overhead. Dark copper-colored hair, eyes malachite green, a handsome face, smile as warm as the sun overhead; a nicely toned yet lean build beneath simple attire of dark blue shorts, perfect for swimming in or lounging about on the sand, and white singlet.

“Jolan’tru,” he said, dipping his head in polite greeting. “Do tell me,” he continued the soft, brogue-like accent prompting a scarlet flush to appear on Ael’s cheeks. “What is a lovely young woman such as yourself doing, standing here alone?” The accent definitely marked the young man as one who hailed from Dartha. “It is far too beautiful a day to stand all by one’s lonesome.”

 _That accent is going to be the death of me_. “Oh, I’ve just been standing, staring out at the water, enjoying the feel of the sand between my toes. I also agree with the sentiment of it being far too nice a day to spend alone.”

“Then let us meander along the shoreline together,” the still-nameless young man said, offering his arm to Ael in a manner befitting a gentleman. Furious blush still on her cheeks, Ael slipped her hands into the crook of his arm, almost unable to believe the giddiness rising up within her. It was an unusual (to her) if not interesting feeling to have, and Ael quickly decided she liked it. “Foolish me, offering my arm yet not my name. My name is Toran, and yours, fair lady?”

 _He is definitely from Dartha!_ Ael giggled. It also felt good.

“I’m Ael,” she responded, earning her a wider smile and nod of approval.

“A rare, beautiful name, one which is obviously fitting for its bearer.”

“I like yours too,” Ael said, almost a little too breathlessly. It wasn’t as if she’d ever had the chance to be a proper teenager before now nor had she ever really had contact, not like this, with anyone close to her own age, either. It felt new, interesting. Inwardly, Ael wondered what her ‘father’ might think about this boy, the one walking with her down the sandy shores.

Momentarily, Ael’s brain shifted gears, tilting her head back, accepting the warm light spilling down with a contented sigh. _I wonder if you can get a sunburn on the holodeck… Well, I’m pretty pale so I guess we’ll see in about ten minutes or less._

Steering her companion a little to the left, moving closer to where the water was lapping against the shore, Ael allowed her feet to hit the soft, wet sand, emitting a little gasp when cool water rushed over her ankles.

“The coolness of the water often surprises many,” said Toran with a smile. “However, the sun should do wonders in warming it nicely. Swimming in the sea tends to be far more pleasant when the water is warmer.”

“I’m up for a swim later,” said Ael agreeably. At some point, she was going to have to slink away, hide, and ask the computer to replicate her swimwear, either that or frolic in the lavender waters, in her dress. “Say, you’re from up near Dartha, yes?”

“Ah, you finally noticed my accent,” said Toran teasingly. Ael’s blush had told of that fact several minutes ago. “You must hail from Leinarrah or one of its closest neighboring provinces. There is a lovely, almost musical lilt to your voice, your skin is fair, softly freckled along the shoulders; your eye and hair color say you might have been born up near Dartha way.”

“My father was born in the capital,” said Ael. “I never knew my mother, though do know she was born in Leinarrah, as was I. I’ve always wanted to visit Dartha, however.”

“It is a wonderful place to both live and to visit,” said Toran. “Nearly no other place on the surface of our world can compare in beauty to the sprawling hillsides, always green, stretching for further than one could walk even if given months to make the journey. The majesty of the Ta’resh mountain ranges, hazy in the distance, peaks always covered in abundant snowfall.” The way Toran spoke of Dartha, caused an excited shiver in Ael. Perhaps she would have to visit there next if the computer had the location on file.

“It sounds just about perfect,” said Ael.

“It is indeed. Also, it does not tend to turn into the tropical oasis the main city must contend with, over the summer months. We get no such humidity up in Dartha, though the rain tends to be plentiful.”

Summers on most of ch’Rihan’s surface tended to be uncomfortable at best, miserable at worst, the temperatures in some provinces and territories easily hitting forty-eight degrees centigrade for at least a few weeks of the season. In the capital city, temperatures tended to hover around forty-three, one hundred percent humidity, though some claimed it had to be higher, the torrential rains forcing the conditions of the area, tropical.

“You are really making me want to visit,” said Ael. “Perhaps when the summer season comes around again.” She wrinkled her nose. “It tends to get much too hot in Leinarrah for my tastes.”

“If you do make your way up to Dartha, I hope our paths will cross.”

“I bet they will,” said Ael with a grin, suddenly aware of the fact her skin was slightly beginning to color. “And while this weather is so much nicer than the capital during summer, my skin tone reminds me I should really put on sunblock.”

“I tend to forget about it, the rare times I make my way to the Apnex,” said Toran, noticing his own arms were beginning to take on a bit of a darker shade. “The joys of having a more delicate complexion than most of the rest of the world.” He laughed, turning to look out toward the water, Ael turning her head, pretending to cough into her hand, all the while asking the computer for some actual sunscreen.

 _This better be the real deal!_ Ael threatened internally. Taking a quick break from wandering up the shore to rub sunblock into her skin, Toran doing the same, Ael began to focus on the sounds of the splashing, rolling waves, relaxing further. It was tempting to simply sit down, draw her knees in, wrap her arms loosely around them, and spend the entire day doing little more than listening to the sea.

“It can be quite mesmerizing, the sea,” Toran said, Ael snapping from her trance. “For many, nothing soothes the soul more than time spent staring out at the waters.”

“I suppose I’ve been away for longer than I thought,” said Ael. “Honestly, I feel more relaxed than I have in forever. I bet being in the water is even more relaxing.”

Taking Ael’s hands, Toran began to lead Ael into the water. “Shall we see to a swim?”

Laughing, Ael gently fought the action. “Toran, no!” Ael yelped when the coolness of the water splashed over her ankles. “I’m not exactly dressed for swimming.” The playful tug-of-war lasted another half-minute, Ael finally convincing him she should change into the suit stuffed within her satchel, first.

“All right, you win,” he said, flashing a grin, Ael fast disappearing into a little beachfront hut she’d called up behind her hand. Once inside, Ael had the computer replicate appropriate swimwear, deciding on a generic one-piece suit as malachite green as Toran’s eyes. Slipping into it, Ael blushed again.

“Is this what being a teenager is supposed to feel like?” Ael questioned herself. “I’ve never really been alone like this with a boy before. It feels a little confusing, really exhilarating, and I’m getting these weird feelings in my middle.”

Deciding it had to be something commonly referred to as a “crush” not that she’d ever had one before now so she couldn’t be sure, Ael stepped out of the hut, leaving her satchel just inside the door.

“I’m back,” said Ael brightly, jogging over to where Toran still stood in the water. This time, the little waves that broke around her feet and ankles didn’t feel quite as chilly. “And where do you think you’re going?” Ael laughed, following Toran as he moved backward, further out into the sea; the water had grown a bit chilly again, now that it was up to her waist.

“The more interesting things tend to lie beyond the shallows,” said Toran, beckoning Ael to follow.

“Nothing that’ll take a bite out of either of us, I hope.” Being bitten in half by a large, man-eating sea creature definitely didn’t rank high on Ael’s list of things to do.

“We would have to swim out into exceptionally deep, dark waters to encounter anything dangerous,” Toran promised. “Come. This way!” Flashing a playful grin, Toran dove beneath the waves.

Quickly calling out to the computer to not only equip Toran with a pair of goggles but to materialize her a pair, stating she would prefer to encounter zero predators in the water in which she was about to dive down into, Ael slipped on her goggles and plunged beneath the surface.

Ael tilted her head up, staring up at the surface of the water form just beneath. It was actually quite lovely, the way the lavender and azure of the water rippled and shone, spots of sunlight dancing upon the surface, casting bright streaks of color overhead. Looking left, looking right, a shadow out of the corner of Ael’s eye showed her Toran’s location

 _There you are,_ she thought, swimming over, forced to surface for air after less than twenty seconds. “Sorry about that,” she said When Toran surfaced beside her. “I don’t get to swim terribly often so am fairly lousy at holding my breath.” _Hmm, maybe I should have asked the computer for a snorkel._

“Do not worry about it quite yet,” he said, inclining his head, asking for Ael to follow. “Here, this way.”

“Lead on,” said Ael, following behind Toran as he swam a bit further out, fluid, athletic strokes propelling him forward almost faster than she could keep up with. A few times, Ael stopped paddling forward, tipping her head back, enjoying the feel of the warmth on her skin from the sun, the taste of salt on her lips from the sea. It didn’t take long before Ael finally asked the computer for a pair of snorkels when a school of brightly-colored fish caught her eye, a suddenly extra-giddy part of Ael urging her to follow them. Neon blue, fuchsia, bright green, a yellow so bright one could barely stand to stare for too long; Ael followed the little fish, Toran beside her, for several minutes, stopping only when the school dove deep, swimming up inside a rock formation, the space too small for a person to follow.

The pair surfaced, Ael grinning in delight. “I’ve never seen anything like that,” she admitted.

“Would you like to see more?” The answer was a resounding “yes”, Ael and Toran swimming on for another few minutes, Ael’s new friend pulling up, treading water, pointing down into the amethyst-tinted water. “This is it, the spot I wished for you to see.”

Ael felt a surge of excitement bubbling up in her chest. “Anything, in particular, I should look out for?”

“Absolutely everything,” he said, sinking away and out of sight, Ael quick to follow.

What awaited Ael beneath the surface of this particular spot was more than she ever could have imagined. _I wonder if the real Apnex looks this way._

An abundance of colorful wonders adorned nearly every inch of the space one’s eye could see, and though she was meant to be holding her breath, now that she’d sunk so far down, Ael couldn’t help but allow her mouth to fall open in awe. She closed it when a blue and green stripped fish swam past, its mouth open as far as hers, though less than awestruck.

Tendrils of colorful seaweed, in shades of purple and blue, reached for the surface of the sea, a greenish-blue patch tickling the bottoms of Ael’s feet when she swam by. Ael’s fingers reached for a particularly bright pink sea anemone that was busily waving from side-to-side nearby, seeming to beckon her over.

All at once, Toran was beside her, gently reaching through a school of tiny orange and gold colored fish, which quickly dispersed in several directions, to capture Ael’s hand, moving it away from touching the seemingly beckoning anemone. A shake of his head told her it probably was a wise idea to leave it be. When they surfaced for air, Toran made known that touching the busily waving anemone likely would have resulted in a nasty, prickling sting.

Promising to ignore the allure of further waving tentacles, Ael again sank below the water, staying closer to the surface to make use of her snorkel. “I don’t want to have to surface every ten seconds,” Ael explained, preferring to stay down for as long as possible taking in every last inch of the colorful, bustling ecosystem.

Side-by-side they swam, Ael’s eyes drinking up the colorful coral, waving seaweed, brightly colored anemones, some which glowed brightly if one swam too close. A dark blue starfish-like creature with ten legs, all wriggling around, searching for food, emitted a series of bubbling chirps, captivating its visitors. Grinning around the mouthpiece of her snorkel, Ael began to swim almost haphazardly, eyes drawn to only the most colorful of sights. Had it not been for the touch of Toran’s hand upon her back, incline of his head directing her attention a bit to the left, Ael would have missed other sights that were just as lovely as the many colorful specimens she’d gone off to admire.

A sea turtle drifted by along the current, its large flippers scooping up and back, almost lazily as it swam along. Just over two meters long, at least a hundred kilos, azure skinned with cyan mottling dotted with white, ridged carapace colored amber with irregular streaks of sunset orange blending throughout, fading to gold; it was a breathtaking creature to be sure.

Eyes wide, Ael swam as close as she dared, appraising the turtle’s elongated head, tapering down to end in a beak-like mouth perfect for snatching up fish, currently creased in an almost wistful, lazy expression. Toran could see Ael’s wonder, her curiousness, taking her by the hand and moving her closer to the swimming reptile. Carefully, he positioned Ael’s hand upon the side of the sunset-golden shell, the turtle turning its head ever so slightly as if to appraise its followers, gracing them with that still wistful, almost far-too-patient expression.

Ael could scarcely remember a time she’d felt such wonder, her eyes shining with joy after the impromptu swim with the sea turtle. Upon surfacing, she laughed out loud. If the past hour was anything at all to go by, the rest of the day would no doubt be something to remember.

 

*****

 

It had been several hours since Ael and Toran had come from the water, the pair now relaxing on an oversized pale blue towel that lay draped over a strip of the luxurious silvery sand Ael couldn’t seem to stop playing with.

Earlier, after their nearly hour-long swim, Ael and Toran had laid down on the sand, allowing the warmth of the sun to dry their bodies, content to relax in quiet, enjoying the company. After they’d dried, Ael’s middle rumbling hungrily, another addition to the program was made: A little seaside café set the perfect scene for a little lunch, the sea, still beneath a beautiful blue sky, a perfect backdrop.

Conversation had come easily, Ael asking questions about Dartha, Toran, based on programming, able to answer most of the curiously aimed queries regarding his homeland. And then the topic had switched upon their walk back up the beach, turning to such subjects such as Serona, a five-year period of mandatory military service undergone by all Romulan citizens at the age of twenty-one, to which naval academy one might wish to attend afterward if a military career was desired.

Ael had immediately stated her aspiration to one day attend the Imperial Romulan War College, one of the more grueling challenges a young Romulan could ever hope to face in training, one certain to set the foundations for a prosperous career within the military. Only the best, most elite attended such a school, the majority attending one of the several naval academies on Romulus.

The College was also located on Devorren, a frozen wasteland of a planet. Not only did the harshness of the surface keep away outsiders who might have stumbled upon the planet by chance, but certain areas of it were used to build toughness in the cadets hand-picked to attend. Though an unlikely pursuit, Ael still found the thoughts of attending such a prestigious school, highly desirable.

Toran shivered at the mention. “While I do prefer cooler climates; Devorren is a bit too chilly for my personal tastes.”

“An Andorian would love it, though,” said Ael, speaking in regards to an alien race who made their home on a planet of ice, snow, and freezing temperatures.

“Indeed. So what is it you hope to study?”

“Though I’m on the smaller side, I’ve always thought about specializing in tactical and security,” Ael answered.

“Size means nothing when it comes to such things,” said Toran. “Wits, cunning, swift reflexes, the ability to discern what your opponent will do before he does it; those traits will almost always take precedence over one’s stature.”

“When the time comes, I hope to be ready,” said Ael, wondering if, one day, her chance at even one of the smaller naval academies’, might become reality. “What about you? Anything, in particular, catch your interest?”

“Honestly, once my period of Serona has been completed, I’m not certain what it is I wish to do. Though the more I linger on the thoughts, the more appealing I find the notion of simply returning to Dartha, perhaps raising kerosh alongside my elder sister. Not everyone is destined for a military career, no matter how much the Empire wishes it to be so,” he said.

“I’ve seen wild kerosh before,” said Ael, recalling back to one of her previous visits to the holodeck, and the Eastern Plains of Umrika. An animal bearing resemblance to a horse, found in remarkably odd colors to outsiders, pale green, midnight blue, sunset gold to name a few, Ael had been instantly captivated at first sight. “And as much as I aspire to attend the College, your idea is very appealing.”

“Such creatures seem to hold much appeal,” said Toran, noticing the wishful look in Ael’s eyes.

“They do. Other than that, one instance, I’ve never seen one before, not for real. I’ve always wanted to ride one, though.” A new holodeck program suddenly came to mind. To be able to sit astride such a powerful animal, the freedom coming from a gallop up the beach, making her feel as though she had wings; the surging of powerful legs propelling her further and further away from reality altogether.

“Perhaps, one day, we could ride along these sandy shores together.”

Ael could nearly think of nothing better. Well, except for reaching the border of the Neutral Zone ahead of schedule.

Easy chatter continued well into the afternoon, followed by another swim in which Ael felt compelled to follow a brightly colored school of fish, ending up with the pair down at the same café they had gone to for lunch, for dinner. Like her previous programs, Ael became so entranced by the world around her the lines between reality and fantasy began to blur together. The only thoughts in her head, concerned returning home after the evening, telling her father all about her wonderful day and then falling into bed relaxed and happier than she’d nearly ever been.

More talk followed evening meal, followed by watching the twin moons rise up over the sea, their silvery light splashing down across the now, mostly quiet, water. Twinkling stars dotted the sky, Ael leaning against Toran’s shoulder as they sat on the sand, admiring the view of the heavens.

“This has been one of the best days I can remember in a long time,” said Ael quietly. “The company alone has been wonderful.”

One of Toran’s arms found its way around Ael’s shoulders, pulling her in. “The company has been exquisite,” he said softly. “Worth the hint of sunburn,” he continued with a small laugh.

“I think we both ended up with a bit of that,” said Ael, turning her head to stare into Toran’s eyes, feeling yet another new emotion she’d never experienced before now. The way the moonlight spilled across Toran’s features caused Ael’s heart to skip a proverbial beat. Suddenly, she wanted to feel more of the delightful feeling in her middle.

“Do you think you will return tomorrow?” Toran asked, his face inching closer to Ael’s, a hand rising up to cup her chin delicately.

“I think I just might.” The words had barely managed to escape before their lips met, Ael consumed by the warmth of the boy pressing close, thoughts quiet for the first time all day. She could never have imagined anything could make her feel like this. It was a feeling worth repeating.

_Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow or maybe I’ll just stay here the rest of the night._

 

 

*****

 

**The afternoon gave way to evening sooner than expected; the wee hours of the morning sneaking up from behind before I knew it. It was also the first night I didn’t actually leave the holodeck, staying captivated by the sea, the conversation, and the company, from just past oh-eight-thirty hours to when the clock struck oh-three-thirty. It was like a little piece of heaven, as the saying goes. Now I had two programs to cycle between, certain to keep me sane, relaxed, and full of hope until it was time to take my leave of the human world.**

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Journal Entry – Time: Oh-two-hundred hours – Location: Still in a VIP Suite.**

 

**So much has happened during the last three weeks; I barely know where I should begin.**

**After my initial visit to the Apnex, creating a friend close to my own age to hang out with for a day, it turned into something a bit more special than I’d originally planned; I began running that program every day, for at least three hours. The rest of the time, I spent at “home”, virtually living the life I’d always wished for, one which felt so real my perception of time and reality became severely skewed.**

**After a solid week of virtually never leaving the holodeck, someone finally came to investigate the reasons behind its seemingly never-ending use. Thank Gods and Elements it happened to be Kat. She’d probably taken it upon herself to investigate, seeing as she knew how sensitive I could be, how easily I could startle.**

**I’d managed to remove Toran from the beach in a hurry that day, the second I heard the doors to the holodeck whooshing open. At least Kat only caught me standing on an oddly-colored stretch of sand, staring out at a body of lavender-tinted water. It only took a quick glance for her to know the character I’d quickly deleted, had been someone of the opposite gender. The blush on my cheeks likely gave that away, too.**

**“Hello,” I’d said, backing up a few steps, worried about her suddenly prying into exactly what programs I’d been running. While that one might be nothing to be concerned about, the other one; the fact I was virtually living a life in a Romulan home, probably would have been. “I think I’ve, um, been in here a bit too long.”**

**“That’s putting it mildly,” Kat had said. I’m glad she didn’t sound angry. If anything, she sounded understanding, at least to a point. “Is this what you’ve been running every day, nearly around the clock?”**

**“Yeah,” I’d admitted, my toes curling around the soft sand, trying to find a bit of comfort. “I guess I’ve just been lonely, so I decided to run a program, create a friend; this place just feels soothing somehow. I didn’t mean to lose track of the time…or the days.” And then I looked up, begging her not to tell the captain or go digging through my programs to see exactly what I’d been up to, in both virtual worlds for the last week. “I’m just lonely, Kat. I’m tired of always feeling so horrible.”**

**Kat sighed, reaching out and giving me a hug that I, surprisingly, allowed. Afterward, we ended up just sitting on the sand for a while, talking. Not only did she really try to help me feel better, an often-impossible feat, Kat also told me, as gently as possible, that running the holodeck around the clock needed to stop. Aside from it continually tying up one of the only holodecks, something that was not only unfair to others aboard ship but also a constant drain on resources, Kat was also concerned it could lead to me ending up with holo-addiction.**

**Pretty sure I was already there in some respects.**

**Still, I nodded in agreement, promising to keep my visits, if still allowed, to a minimum. Kat assured me I could still visit the holodecks every once in a while, just that I wouldn’t really be able to every day around the clock anymore.**

**I’d promised, and she agreed to give me a few minutes to say a little goodbye to Toran in private. I think she understood how real he had started to become. All I told him was I would be away for a few days but would visit again soon, perhaps up near his home in Dartha.**

**I never did.**

**I also never bothered to open the program containing my “father”, certain if I did, to try and tell him goodbye even though I could come back for an hour or two, every few days; there was little chance I’d hold myself together. The second the program would activate, I’d probably launch myself into his arms and start bawling like a baby, and he’d have no clue why.**

**That was the moment I’d left the holodecks behind for the rest of my journey. One hour, two, here and there, every other day; it wouldn’t have been enough, would have left my soul longing for more than I could have.**

**In attempts to console, I tried to tell myself Movar might actually be a far different person in reality than how he’d appeared on the holodeck, so perhaps it was best to not get used to a gentle, nurturing father figure who had my back. Too late for that, too.**

**At least before I bid adieu to my new favorite places aboard ship to be, I did manage to get a bit of assistance.**

**I spent one entire afternoon, the day after my first visit to the Apnex, on the holodeck formulating my little escape plan, Daddy convinced it’s all for some story I’m writing. Just as I figured, he was a tremendous help regarding all the ins-and-outs of what I’m attempting to do, explaining it simply, enabling me to memorize everything to the best of my ability. I had thought about jotting down some notes on a PADD. The fear of getting caught, stopped me cold.**

**Sending the transmission through Stargazer’s power grid, encoded in waste energy from the ship’s propulsion systems, seemed to be the ticket. While the covert transmission would come up on the sensors as something odd, it would likely take considerable time for anyone on the bridge to figure it out and trace the signal. It would take even more time, days, possibly, to trace the source of the transmissions back to me, and by then, I hoped to be long gone.**

**Now, to make sure the recipients of said message bothered to glance at the sent transmission, Daddy suggested disguising it further, perhaps as something only a Romulan would recognize: A piece of old Romulan literature, the melody of a timeless song. There wasn’t much could be found by searching the ship's database, at least, the areas I could access without restrictions in place. Searching, searching, and searching some more; well into the morning hours, gaze hopelessly blurry, no longer able to stand poring over the PADDs I’d amassed on the bed. I actually fell asleep on them.**

**At last, I found something, likely an old piece of just as old information, likely brought back by some covert Vulcan operative long ago, placed in the unrestricted section of the databanks, no longer deemed important enough to hide. Centuries back, a branch of the military had a code phrase, one that stated a crucially important transmission was on the way: “The eagle cries at dawn.” Not exceptionally fancy, and it did sound similar to old military “code phrases” used back on Earth, way back when, but if it got someone on the other side of the Neutral Zone to sit up in their command chair and take notice, I was all for it.**

**With that out of the way, before I dared start recording a message to send, I had to ask Daddy another question, one I’d been neglecting, dreading even, certain I’d be told there was no way in hell it was possible: How do I – uh, how does the _main character_ – get off Stargazer?**

**My question was not met by immediate answer; Daddy actually had to think about it for several minutes. Since a warbird is unable to do much of anything while under cloak, simply beaming me over from quarters wouldn’t work. The first option involved the main character, me, in this case, somehow getting hold of a phaser, sneaking off to one of the transporter rooms, stunning the transporter operator, setting the console for automatic beam out, hop on the pad and go. I wasn’t entirely sure how to work a transporter console and doubted I could very well steal a phaser much less shoot someone minding their own business. As for option two, it involved the Romulans being willing to lend me a hand. Unless my message fell into the lap of an easily curious commander… Said commander, whomever he or she ended up being, would have to agree to feign distress, hoping Stargazer would drop by to render aid. Seeing as we were likely to be the only Federation ship in the area, it was a very good chance.**

**Still, it didn’t mean it would be an easy affair. Both ships had to have their shields down, and no Federation ship is going to come across a Romulan warship and not raise shields on sight, immediately on the defensive. Many a starship had been tricked before, too. If the ruse worked, Stargazer would likely agree to send a handful of people over to assist in repairs, help with the wounded not that Starfleet knew much of anything about Romulan medicine. When the shields went down on Stargazer, likely before the called upon team even made it to the transporter room, I would be beamed over, the warbird sure to bank hard to port, cloak engaging, vanishing from sight.**

**It would probably take them at least a few seconds to figure out exactly who had gone missing and by that time, it would be too late to do anything about it. Unfortunately, the kidnapping, if one could call it that, could easily begin kindling the fires of war between the Federation and the Romulans. We didn’t need another one of those. No Romulan, no matter how curious, would dare start a bloody war over me. No chance. On the other hand, the Romulans could always claim Stargazer had been over the border, in Romulan territory by the most minuscule margin, thereby classifying anything on board as fair game to seize.**

**Or they could always say, “Hey, she wanted to be taken,” or “Does the word _defector_ mean anything to you?”**

**Worse case scenario: They decloak and announce what I’ve been doing directly to Captain Brookes.  That thought alone is mildly tempting me to call the whole thing off, backing away like the scared little girl I’ve always been, curling up on my bed in my way-too-large room, waiting until we get back to Earth in six months before dare showing my face to anyone.**

**At least the temptation to call everything off isn’t as overwhelming as my desire to leave. Maybe the Romulan commander who happens across my message will have a plan, something I’ve never even thought about. That’s far more likely.**

**Stargazer had finally reached the destination I’d been longing it to reach for weeks, and I began to compose a message to send, voice wobbling in fear to the point I had to re-record the message at least six times to get it to sound full of the confidence I wanted to portray, and less like a frightened little girl seeking escape. I think I’m still more the latter.**

**For what felt like the thousandth time since its composition and recording, I listened to my video message, thinking of recording it for yet another time. There was still a little waver in my voice I didn’t quite care for, my eyes positively pleading. At least I hadn’t started crying… Then there’s the fact I kept slipping Romulan words into my message. It sounded like I couldn’t make up my mind which dialect to speak in. Hopefully, that fact alone would catch a commander’s intrigue just enough to allow them to compose a message in return.**

**_“This message goes out to any Romulan vessel near the Neutral Zone border. To whichever Riov of the fleet this happens across, I thank you for accepting this message sent in secret. What you are about to hear, may seem odd but I beg of you, don’t discount it. To be blunt: I am in need of assistance. Though I seem amnait, I am not. I suppose you could call me a Rihan merely trapped in the wrong body. As for how long I’ve felt this way, I can only say for as long as I can remember._ **

**_For years, my eyes have been staring up towards the heavens, wondering where I fit in the galaxy, knowing Earth isn’t where I belong. Though unable to see ch’Rihan from my view of the night sky, I somehow knew that’s where I belonged, the only world to where my heart holds allegiance._ **

**_For years, though I know I’m young, I have been attempting to find my way home to Rihanh. Please, help me; help me find my way home. If any commander wishes it, send a message in reply, as covertly as possible. Quickly. Stargazer could be along the border for days, but it could also only be hours._ **

**_I just want to come home, to glimpse Romulan stars when I stare up at the sky instead of the alien ones I have always been forced to see through my bedroom window. Allow me the honor of coming home to what has always been my world, my people, my empire._ **

**_Aheria, solaere-ha._ **

**With severely shaking hands, desperately trying to do everything as I’d memorized on the holodeck weeks back, praying I wouldn’t make a mistake, I allowed the transmission to fly free, praying the phrase, “The eagle cries at dawn” would mean something to someone on the other side of the border, as did the message to follow.**

*********

**Commander Alirra ir-Mnaehe t’Lhaihtha’s ready room, on board the Imperial Romulan Warbird Aen v’Stelam, time: twenty-two hundred hours.**

 

_Allow me the honor of coming home to what has always been my world, my people, my empire. Aheria solaere-ha._

For the third time since it had been received the covertly-sent message came to an end. The young humanoid girl from whom it had come, beseeching aid through a pair of distressed yet hopeful, blood-green eyes as the image faded, the crest of the Romulan Star Empire appearing in her place.

 _Intriguing_ , thought Commander Alirra from behind her desk, dark brown eyes staring ahead, at the now darkened desktop screen. Fingers forming a steeple in front of her on the desktop, Alirra tapped her first two fingers together in thought. Lightly defined brow ridges momentarily knit together, a single brow raising in quiet conjecture.  

While there were commanders within the military who often allowed intrigue to guide their actions, Alirra was not a woman known for allowing her curiosities to be easily captured. For her intrigue to be snared to the point that breaking free of its grasp proved impossible, forcing her to respond in some manner, was a rare thing indeed. Such a scenario would have to be, as the humans like to say, “a big deal” in order for her to take exceptional notice.

This message, which had happened across her vessel a short time ago, fell into such a category.

Rising from behind her desk, Commander Alirra moved toward the large window along the wall, staring out at the stars, her gaze focused on Stargazer, the ship from which the message had come, in the not so far off distance. At the moment, Alirra’s warship drifted along the Neutral Zone border, obscenely close to crossing over the invisible line that separated Romulan Empire from Federation.

Alirra thought back over the human girl’s message, recounted the desperation in her voice as she begged to be allowed to find her way home, home to a place she’d never been. The passion in her voice, the pride when she spoke of who she felt to be at her core; the manner in which the Terran tongue intermingled with the Romulan one had been rather intriguing, too.

Now, exactly how much should be believed, the request, beseeching yet passionate that found her ears?

While it was entirely possible this child truly was speaking from the heart, telling the truth of what she felt her heart to be, Alirra also had to consider that, perhaps, this small one had been implanted with false thoughts and ideas. In the very distant past, rival factions had sent supposed defectors over from one side to another, surgically altered, implanted with memories to believe they were something other than what they were at their biological core. Later, they would remember who they were, their mission; almost always, such sleeper agents escaped to return to their homes, taking with them valuable intel. Still, Alirra had never heard of one so young being used in such tactics before.

Those thoughts aside, The Empire hadn’t had the best of luck concerning human defectors in the past, either, the rare times they were allowed to reside on the homeworld, watched intently at every waking moment. All but one defector had turned away at some point or another, fleeing back to their precious Federation when the strict moral code of the Romulan people suddenly became far too difficult a concept to stomach. These days, defectors were considered simply not worth the potential trouble.

Unfortunately, there was no way to know which this girl was: truthful or merely an elaborate deception, created as a means to destroy the Empire from within, upon her maturity. Without taking a chance, possibly subjecting her to mind probes and scans, there was almost no way to know for certain.

Still, Alirra was intrigued just enough to entertain the idea of sending a message in reply, perhaps connecting directly, speaking in real-time. Turning away from the window, the commander replayed the message once more, the phrase at the end, _Aheria solaere-ha,_ seemed to plead firmer than before. _Please, help me._

 _Should I_? Alirra thought silently. _What could possibly be gained?_

If this girl proved to be as loyal to the Empire as she claimed if she truly wasn’t some sort of new breed of sleeper agent, engineered by an organization the Federation pretended didn’t actually exist, Section 31 came to mind, then, perhaps she was worth at least speaking to.

Should her request ultimately be granted, by Alirra’s superiors rather than she, herself making the final call, being young would definitely come with advantages. At her age, she would most likely catch someone’s eye, an influential military man or woman in all probability, be taken into a home, fostered, brought up as a Romulan. Compared to what would befall someone much older than she, cast out onto the streets, forced to fend for themselves as they tried to secure a place within the military’s forces, as they often did; the young definitely had advantages.

A child was also easier to teach and to train, to influence, to mold into what the empire wanted her to become, what she already so aspired to be.

“Perhaps she is worth speaking to in greater detail,” said Alirra, retaking her seat behind her pristinely-kept desk, only a PADD sitting off to the left. A tap of a button brought the device back to life, the commander working quietly, encoding a specially designed frequency on which to speak, one that the Federation ship just beyond the border would have trouble pinpointing for days at least.

It was time to speak to the individual who had cried out to her, to the Empire, for help.

 

*****

 

**Ael’s quarters, on board the USS Stargazer, time: twenty-two thirty hours.**

Shortly after the transmission had been sent, Ael collapsed wearily back in bed for a snooze, sound asleep for an hour and a half before a soft whine penetrated her subconscious. Her nose wrinkled in regards to the disturbance a hand rising as if to somehow bat the offending noise away from her person. Several more moments passed, the noise never-ceasing, Ael’s dreamscape, where she’d been wandering the shores of the Apnex with Toran, fading away. Eyes blinking sleepily, it took Ael a minute to get her bearings, tired eyes widening in sudden alertness when she saw a little red light blinking on her desktop.

_A message! Elements!_

Frantically, Ael fought to free herself from the bed, to reach her desktop; being so hopelessly entangled in her bedding meant falling off the side of the bed, instead of rising gracefully. Quickly, Ael grabbed her device, jumping back into bed and pulling the covers up and over her head, the way she might have done years ago when she wanted to read without being caught once she’d been told to go to sleep.

Instead of the message she’d been set to receive, what greeted Ael happened to be a live stream of communications, face-to-face with her destiny. Desiring not to “freak out”, Ael attempted to place a mask of confidence over her anxieties, insecurities, and fears, determined not to allow the Romulan commander the satisfaction of seeing her sweat.

 _I can do this,_ Ael thought, staring down the screen at the regal-looking, dark-eyed Romulan woman. _Sure, she alone has the ability to save me from this life or to crush my hopes and dreams with one fell swoop…_

Commander Alirra sat tall behind her desk in her private ready room, hands clasped neatly in front of her, the dim lighting of the room casting a momentary shadow over her face. For a moment, Ael thought it made the woman look cruel, as villain-like as the rumors of Romulan always told. The commander silently appraised the girl whom she’d chosen to reply, taking in her wide-eyed, awe-struck appearance, one quickly covered by a mask of grim determination.

“Jolan’tru,” said Ael, attempting to keep the anxious wobble from her voice, barely succeeding. No one would come to her aid if she behaved like a little girl, no matter what she felt like. Ael gripped the sides of her device tight, urging her hands to stay steady, rather than quiver. Her palms were so sweaty Ael was somewhat surprised the device hadn’t already fallen from her hands and onto the bed. _Say something back, will you?_ Ael thought, never breaking eye contact.

Commander Alirra subtly inclined her head in response to the standard Romulan greeting yet did not return it. A new surge of fear washed over Ael, threatening to disarm her of the determined expression on her face.

 _She doesn’t trust me_ , thought Ael. _Not that I figured she would; still, something piqued her interest or she wouldn’t be responding._

“Not long ago, a rather curious message happened across my ship,” began Alirra in a precise, authoritative tone. “A covert transmission, sent from a starship just beyond our borders, one that would have normally been ignored, gone unanswered if not for the way the message was tagged.”

“The eagle cries at dawn,” Ael said. This time, her voice did not waver.

Another incline of the commander’s head. “Precisely. It was that, which prompted me to review the contents of the transmission, one which has me mildly intrigued. You are the sender of said message, yes?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Ael. “I’m the one who sent it.”

“I see,” said the commander. “If I may inquire, what is your age? I find it difficult to believe you were not aided in some way.”

Ael inwardly bristled at the commander’s sudden change of tone, nearly growling in response to the little lilt of laughter that had come when _“I find it difficult to believe…”_ had been uttered. No matter her feelings, Ael couldn’t afford to get the commander angry.

“Fifteen,” Ael admitted, biting back a scowl and a sigh. “And no, Commander, I didn’t have help in sending this transmission.” _What else could I say? Yeah, General Movar, my ‘father’, instructed me on how exactly to proceed? That would go over brilliantly._

“I see,” Commander Alirra said again, momentarily ignoring Ael to consult something on a PADD on her desk. “And the contents of your message; how do I know you are being truthful?”

Certain her brazen attitude, short-temper, and anxiety would get the better of her at some point in the conversation, Ael took a deep breath to keep her emotions safely in check. “I give you my word.”

This time, the commander openly chuckled as though Ael had said something especially funny. “Forgive me, child, but to take the word of a…”

“Take the word of a what, _Riov_?” Now, Ael bristled openly, suddenly defensive. “A _kuoku_? Or were you about to say something as derogatory as _hevam_ in reference to me? While the former may be true of my behavior on occasion, I am nothing as disgusting as a…” A sickened, disgusted look crept over Ael’s face in response to the highly offensive word she could not bear to repeat a second time. “ _Rhiannsu_ respect only their own, pure-bloods; I get that. If it’s not considered blasphemous, I’ll swear on the names of Air and Fire that I am telling you the truth.”

“My intrigue grows further,” said Commander Alirra calmly, replacing the PADD back down on her desk.

“Sorry for losing my temper,” said Ael quickly, thanking her lucky stars the commander hadn’t already terminated the transmission. “I’m sure I sound like someone who has gone entirely _nohtho_ , but-”

“If I may,” said Alirra, raising a hand to indicate silence was called for. Ael obediently clamped her mouth shut, doing her best to look unworried. “I have noticed a rather peculiar pattern in regards to your speech. Every few moments, words from my language intermingle amongst your own, and these words seem to be of habitual use rather than ones you must think carefully about before using.”

“Well, because they _are_ ,” Ael replied, lifting her shoulders. “I have been attempting to teach myself the Rihan language since I was small. Sometimes it’s difficult to keep those smooth, flowing words out of my speech when I speak; I don’t care to arouse suspicion if something isn’t recognized by the universal translator. The last thing I need is for some member of the Federation to lock me in a little room, playing a rousing game of twenty questions, all because something I said was not recognized.”

Ael allowed herself to sigh. There had to be a way to convince the Romulan, not merely intrigue her. _But she is a Romulan,_ Ael reminded herself _. Intrigue is more or less her business. You know that you will likely never convince a pure-blood Rihan that you’re worth much of anything. This was such a mistake, a waste of fucking time!_

“I’m not ashamed to be what I feel that I am,” said Ael, almost sadly. “But if anyone ever found out, I would likely be condemned to a psychologist’s office back on Earth, some stoic, unfeeling doctor trying to get to the bottom of why I feel as I do. The Federation would see it as a sickness to cure me of, but Riov, there is nothing to cure. Why is being what I am so horribly wrong? There is nothing wrong with being Romulan.”

“Indeed not,” said Alirra, choosing her next words carefully. Recounting her earlier thoughts, regarding what this girl’s motives, if any at all, might be; perhaps it was best to get right to the point. “Since you claim to have been honest with me, so shall I be with you,” said Alirra. “While you intrigue me, your claims, possibly truthful ones; we must take precaution.”

“You don’t believe me,” said Ael sadly, allowing the determined mask to crumble right off her face.

“If you were in my place, small one,” said Alirra smoothly, “would you believe such claims at face value?”

“Maybe,” said Ael slowly. “It depends.” The device now shook in her hands, the image of the commander beginning to wobble slightly out of focus. “I’m being honest with you, Commander. Haerhe.”

Instantly, Commander Alirra tipped her head in mild confusion, then straightened her posture, gazing at Ael curiously. The word that had tumbled from Ael’s mouth, “haerhe” was generally not a word known outside the empire to many. The word signified more than merely giving someone your word. To a Romulan, it meant a steadfast promise, an unbreakable vow; a promise to be kept until death, even beyond it.

“How do you know of this word?” Alirra’s voice almost seemed accusatory, though intrigue continued to glint in her eyes.

“I stumbled across it years ago. I’ve never said it to anyone before now, partly because I never had a reason, and partly because there was never another Romulan around to whom to speak it. I would never use it feely.”

“It is wise not to use it on a mere whim,” said the commander thoughtfully. “Perhaps you are being truthful when you speak of a Romulan soul trapped in the body of one of our most despised enemies.”

Ael didn’t have any idea if the commander seriously believed her by any stretch of the imagination or not. _She likely won’t now_ , thought Ael when she felt something warm and wet trailing down her cheek. “Movar would believe me,” she mumbled softly, hastily wiping a hand across her eyes to rid them of further standing tears.

“Forgive me, I must have misheard,” said Alirra, leaning forward. “Did you just say the name ‘Movar”? How is it you know a Romulan general by name?”

“I-I didn’t say anything,” Ael said frantically.

“That, I believe is the first lie you have told since your face appeared on my screen.”

 _Wait? She believes me now? Wha…?_ “I don’t know what I can say about it,” said Ael with a sniffle and a shrug. “It’s personal.”

“Very well,” said Alirra, the curiousness gone, replaced by a no-nonsense expression. “I am going to forward your original transmission, including the way it was coded, alongside my personal observations and recommendations, to my superiors.”

A crestfallen expression befell Ael’s face. She may as well be right back where she originally began. Alirra hadn’t even given her time to explain the plan she had concocted with a certain Romulan general on the holodeck.

“Merht-” Ael began, again in the Romulan tongue, the commander interrupting by raising her hand.

“You will be contacted again when a decision regarding you has been reached. Expect a reply within twenty-four Terran hours.”

“Wait,” said Ael suddenly. “You never asked my name.” The subtle incline of the commander’s head prompted the girl to speak her name, and with confidence. “My name is Ael.”

Another nod of the head, and then the commander’s image faded away into black, thrusting Ael into silence. For several minutes, Ael sat motionless beneath the blanket, certain that at any moment, security would rush through the doors to the VIP suite, hauling her out of the room and down to the brig for the message she dared to send.

It took almost a half hour for Ael to be sure of her safety. Ael threw off the covering that now felt far too warm over her head, allowed her body to tremble violently as it had been wanting to do for so many minutes, and then she lost herself to tears. After her conversation with the commander, the way she’d lost her cool, started to weep, mentioned General Movar by name; Ael felt lost on how to feel

At the end of it all, she would either be on her way to a home, a world she’d always longed for, or be condemned to live among aliens for the rest of her days, however many left there were.

Twenty-four hours to go; twenty-four hours until her fate was decided. 

 

*****

 

**Outgoing Transmission**

**From: Commander Alirra ir-Mnaehe t’Lhaihtha, on board the Imperial Romulan Warbird Aen v’Stelam, holding position near the westernmost point of the Neutral Zone border.**

**To: General Movar i-Ra’tleihfi tr’Illialhae, Military Command Center, Ki Baratan, ch’Rihan.**

 

I wish to inform you of a rather intriguing situation that is presently occurring at my location, the attached transmission one which my vessel intercepted less than two hours ago, a curious message, covertly transmitted from aboard a Federation Starship by the name of Stargazer. However, the original sender of said message was anything but expected.

A young humanoid girl, barely fifteen years of age, one who not only claims to be but a Romulan soul trapped in the wrong form but also one who has given herself the name of Ael.

Upon receiving her message, one coded in the old ways of our military’s forces, I was met by pleading eyes, a desperate countenance; the poetic words of a lost soul longing to return home to her world, her empire, a place she has never known yet appears to have allegiance to.

Intrigue captured, I responded, speaking to her in an uninterrupted transmission, deciding to see for myself if she was being truthful or if the entire transmission was but a ruse, designed to crumble the Empire from within, one day into the girl’s future.

As precedes my reputation, my intrigue is not easily captured nor am I swayed by seemingly desperate pleas which come by way of an outsider to our world. This girl could see my belief in her claims was minimal, and then she did something I would never have expected: On the names of Air and Fire that her word was truth, the word haerhe tumbled from her tongue.  

Though she attempted to speak with clarity and confidence, many times she wavered, frightened, anxious. However, there were times she spoke with the passion of one born Romulan. Words from our language intermingled with the Terran tongue when she spoke, and then, General, when she could sense all might be lost, there would be no way to return to a home she had never seen, she made mention of you by name, though could not tell me why.

Of course, I await your recommendations on the matter before proceeding further. My own instincts, as of this time, tell me she should be taken away from the Federation to whom she feels no love lost, relocated to ch’Rihan, classified a defector. If permission is granted, I guarantee a swift, covert extraction from Stargazer. And then, General, perhaps you might speak with her further.

I await your response.

-Transmission End-

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**It all happened in the blink of an eye.**

**Other things, however, happened first.**

**Aside from keeping my belongings close at all times, every now and then staring at my desktop screen for ten-minute stretches, waiting expectantly for something to happen, I paced my way-too-large room, way too often, mumbling to myself like a mental patient. At least I did one thing that could prove useful: I replicated a universal translator in the form of a bracelet, something I could wear inconspicuously around my wrist, something most people would consider to be nothing but jewelry.**

**I figured it was better safe than sorry. Though I’d learned many stand-alone words, piecing things together on my own, over time; way back when, an officer aboard one of my parents’ postings might have taught me a thing or two; it didn’t necessarily mean I could hold a fluent conversation with a native Romulan.**

**Twenty-four hours came and went, and then thirty. I think I’d been staring at my screen for five hours straight at that point, watching, waiting, uttering a silent curse or two, wondering if the Romulan commander had forgotten about me altogether.**

**And then, at last, at the thirty-four-hour mark, head on the desk beside my screen, a little chirp penetrated my consciousness. Jerking awake, I fumbled with my device, the message a simple one: “Find us.”**

**“That’s it?” I replayed the message about ten times over, maybe it was fifteen. Surely, there had to be more than “Find us”! I was just about to replay it for yet another time when, through the window, an imperial Romulan warbird shimmered its way from stealthy cloak to appearing in the heavens, right outside my window.**

**I was at the window in a flash, hands pressed against the glass, eyes wide, mouth agape in surprise. Find _them_? It looks like they found _me_! There had to be more to it than that, much more. **

**Another ten minutes without moving a muscle; they said to find them, so staying in my room was clearly not an option. Belongings situated in my satchel, I headed through the door, barely pausing to bid farewell to the large stateroom that had been my home for the past few weeks.**

**“OK,” I muttered, once in the turbolift at the end of the hall. “Where am I supposed to go from here? Computer, are there currently any Romulans aboard Stargazer?”**

**“Negative.”**

**“Not helpful,” I muttered again. Perhaps I needed to go where there were plenty of people; there wasn’t much point to aimlessly wandering each corridor on each deck. That could easily take hours and didn’t necessarily mean our paths would cross. The lounge seemed to be the only logical place to be, so I went, finding a room nearly devoid of life, most crewmembers either already at their stations or recalled there, likely upon the appearance of the warbird still holding her position. Only about four people were in the lounge at present, all, probably, civilians like me. Standing right inside the doors, glancing out towards the large windows along the wall; a time or two (or five) I kept slipping out into the hall, looking right, then left, asking the computer if Romulans had boarded Stargazer. Four times, the computer said, “Negative.” The fifth time, its answer changed to “Affirmative” and I began to anxiously shiver from head to toe.**

**I stayed out in the corridor for over an hour, every few minutes asking the computer where the Romulan contingent could be found. The first time, I received “Captains ready room,” as my answer. Actually, that was the answer almost every time I asked. What could they possibly be discussing? Me?**

**The thoughts were enough to cause my complexion to pale and I started to feel a little queasy. Could the commander have finally decided, along with her superiors that I simply couldn’t be bothered with, prompting her to disclose everything I’d done and said, earning me a good deal of trouble? As much as I loved the Romulan people as a whole, considered myself to be one in spirit, I wouldn’t put it past them to expose me, just to have a bit of a laugh. The military could kind of be assholes.**

**Still refusing to give up hope, I waited a bit more. “Computer, where are the Romulans now? Please tell me they’re still aboard ship.”**

**“Affirmative. The Romulans are currently in turbolift three. Destination: Deck Ten.”**

**“D-Deck ten? That’s this one!” I gasped in shock, quickly ducking back inside the lounge. They either had a way to track me or they were guessing where it was I might be. Praying Captain Brookes wouldn’t be escorting them, I really should have asked the computer, I made my way over to the window and stared out, eyes transfixed on the warbird, heart beating a mile a minute, palms so sweaty I slipped forward when I tried to brace my position against the nearest table.**

**Shaking, feeling clammy, I waited not-so-patiently for something to happen. When the doors to the lounge parted, two minutes later, I didn’t turn around, not at first. Finally, when I was about to turn, perhaps sneak a little peek, a shadow out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I dared to glance over, a Romulan male, tall, handsome, distinguished, wearing a slightly different style of uniform than most others, shoulders closely fitted to the body, spiked over-belt more of an over-one-shoulder type of deal rather than “Y” shaped, stood directly next to me. Hands behind his back, gaze directed outward; he seemed to be waiting for me to speak first.**

**The only thing I could think of to say was, “The eagle cries at dawn.”**

**“So it does,” he replied. We stood there another few moments, and then he turned away from the window, focusing on something across the room. He stepped to the side and our arms brushed together, something small and cool pressed into my palm by way of his hand. Without glancing at me at all, he said, “You should get some rest,” and just like that he was gone from my side, striding purposefully across the room to stand nearest whom had to be the commander, and one other individual. Thankfully, Brookes wasn’t with them at the moment, though the first officer was.**

**Judging from the serious, mildly angry expression on the first officer’s face; there seemed to be a problem. I still had to wonder if I hadn’t just been exposed. The commander; the entire Romulan contingent seemed calm, perhaps even bored. I could only guess it to be some sort of diversion.**

**_“You should get some rest,”_ ** **the man had said, shortly after discreetly presenting me with a tiny device I figured it best to keep my fingers closed tightly around. Assuming he meant I should return to my quarters or at the very least, find a private space devoid of others to run into; what else could I do but go?**

**_It’s all part of the plan_ ** **, I thought, my heart pumping wildly. At any given moment, it was sure to burst straight through my chest wall. “Just what _is_ the plan?” I wondered aloud, opening my hand to peer down at the device the Romulan officer had given me. A little green light blinked steadily on the steel grey, button-like object. A transmitter, maybe? A…locater beacon?**

**Thirty minutes more I waited, holed up in one of the ships Jefferies tubes, curled up tight, waiting. When I dared ask where the Romulans were, I received, “The Romulans are in transporter room one,” in response.**

**“Please, don’t leave me behind,” I begged the little blinking light still sitting in my palm. _The one who gave you the device is ke’rhin; he, the commander, they know what they’re doing. Trust them!_**

**A tingling sensation began to spread throughout my body, emerald-green sparkles and shimmers beginning to encompass my form. For a moment, it felt like I was back on the beach by the Apnex with Toran, a mild breeze caressing my bare arms, as we played in the surf. I closed my eyes, breathed in deep like I was about to sink beneath the lavender-kissed waters, the transporter beam swallowing me up, carrying me away, one step closer to home.**

*********

Transportation complete, Ael found herself deposited on the Aen v’Stelam’s transporter pad, staring up at a sight she should have been prepared for: A tall, powerfully built Romulan soldier who towered above her by nearly two feet in height, strode forward, disruptor pistol drawn, aimed at her unmoving form. The sound of his boots thumping heavily against the deck plates unsettled her a bit, though she dared not scramble to her feet and move away.

“Ow, hey!” Ael yelped, the guard hauling her unceremoniously to her feet, wrist momentarily held hostage in his oversized hand. “Get off me!” Though it wasn’t a smart idea to yell at or demand things of a Romulan soldier more than twice her size, Ael’s anxiety forced her to speak. The soldier’s grip tightened, Ael winced. _If he squeezes any tighter my wrist is going to snap._

Instead of hearing the sudden, painful snap of bone, she heard the soldier speak, his voice low, threatening. “The commander wishes to speak with you,” he said brusquely, dark brown eyes gazing at the young humanoid in his grasp in distaste from beneath his heavily defined brow ridges. “Move.” Releasing her wrist, the soldier, muzzle of his weapon pressed into Ael’s spine, ushered her forward.

It only took that one instance for Ael to decide that blind obedience, accompanied by silence, would be a safer option than backtalk. Ael stayed quiet during the course of the walk to the commander’s private ready room, barely able to keep the quick pace the soldier behind her seemed intent to maintain. Several times, Ael’s foot caught on the raised edges of the doorways, nearly falling face first onto the deck. The soldier at Ael’s back always made it a point to sneer at her for her clumsiness, making it a point to prod her along, quicker.

The corridors of the warbird seemed endless by design, the lighting level not nearly as bright as Stargazer’s had been. Drab colored bulkheads were the norm, control panels standing out brightly in some areas amongst the dim. As they passed by, Ael turned her head, taking in the series of symbols aligning one of the screens, all perfectly aligned, smartly presented like a squadron of soldiers at attention. Only… She couldn’t read a lick of it.

 _It has to be khazad_ , Ael thought wildly, referencing the symbols, something akin to a Cyrillic alphabet she’d glimpsed before the soldier admonished her, demanding her eyes stay forward at all times. _Why can’t I read it? I know I never learned much of that particular writing style but still. Something should be legible! Please, for the love of the Elements; tell me that’s an old-school dialect I never actually came across…_

There was little time to worry further about the undecipherable symbols, Ael soon forced into yet another turbolift, this one downright claustrophobic compared to what she had become accustomed to onboard Stargazer. The soldier at her side, pistol aimed at her head, his unwavering stare filled with hatred caused Ael to remain perfectly still throughout the brief journey. She doubted this man would be shy about pulling the trigger.

“Come,” he barked, pulling the girl out of the lift and into the hall, Ael barely able to keep her footing secure, tripping, again, over the raised edge of the door. “Learn to pick up your feet.”

 _Screw off!_ Ael longed to shout _. Whoever designed these ships obviously liked to watch people trip and fall flat on their faces,_ she thought sourly, suddenly aware that the soldier’s pace was beginning to slow, and so was hers. This corridor looked a lot like the last several that she had been marched down, only this time she could make out a gray-green-colored door with dark olive accenting only another fifty feet or so away.

Ael concluded it marked the entrance to where the commander wished to meet. At least, she certainly hoped so. Quietly, she prayed to anything who could hear to not allow the door to open and reveal an interrogation chamber.

“Inside,” the soldier ordered, prodding Ael none-too-gently in the back with his weapon when her steps momentarily faltered. Ael barely had the time to draw in a deep breath to summon all available courage as the doors parted to allow entry, and thankfully, this time, she didn’t trip over the raised edge of the entryway.

Before noticing anything else Ael’s gaze was instantly drawn to the ship’s commander who sat patiently behind her desk, hands clasped neatly and resting on the desktop. At least her appearance seemed less eerie than before, now that she wasn’t bathed in dim, greenish light. Still, she was imposing. The top of the desk was rather sparse, a small desktop monitor sitting at a slight angle to the commander’s right, an angular PADD sitting near the left-hand, bottom corner of the desk, lined up as evenly as possible with the desk’s edge. Ael decided right away that this commander desired order at all times.

Ael stepped forwards hesitantly, Commander Alirra’s gaze appraising her intently. Even though Ael desired not to show a trait she felt sorely un-Romulan, fear presented itself openly, each step she took into the room, hesitant, despite the fact Centurion Korak, the soldier behind her, insisted she pick up the pace. Another little shove from behind put Ael in front of the commander’s desk, anxious fear nearly palpable. Without warning, when Korak holstered his weapon, grabbing for the satchel that still rested securely by way of a strap over Ael’s chest; the change in demeanor was immediate, defensive.

“Hey!” Ael yelled indignantly, attempting to yank the bag away from Korak’s much stronger grip. “Hands off, you big brute!”

Korak's eyes narrowed in discontent and he tightened his hold on the strap of Ael’s satchel, preparing to give an almighty yank, releasing it from her person, possibly, her shoulder from its socket if he pulled hard enough. As tempting as it was, the commander had given an express order: The human child was to come to no harm.

Instead of dislocating her shoulder, pistol whipping her to the deck, or growling a threat he likely wouldn’t be able to make good on, Korak said, “You cannot possibly believe we would allow you to keep a sealed bag, its contents unknown, in your possession.”

Ael knew the centurion had a point, but even so, if anyone aboard saw her journal, found the picture of general Movar tucked carefully between the pages… “There’s nothing in there you could possibly want to see,” she insisted, tugging back on the strap, barely taking notice of another officer entering the room. “Some clothes, my underwear, a few pieces of candy I didn’t eat, a stuffed cat.” _I have to get to my journal before he does!_ “Look, we can open it right here.” Popping the clasp, making haste to slide down the zipper; the contents of the bag were instantly on display, Ael’s heart in her throat when her gaze touched upon the precious book.

Korak chose that moment to pull hard on the strap, forcing it out of Ael’s hands, the girl jumping back as though burned. Just as quickly, Ael lunged forward, grabbing for the journal that had toppled out of the bag alongside some socks and her screen. Quickly, Ael reached back and scooped up Mr. Mittens, backing away towards the commander’s desk, both treasured items pressed close to her chest.

Commander Alirra watched curiously, a small smirk lifting the corner of her mouth. Any moment now and she would have to intervene lest Korak decide to ignore previous orders and, in his anger, rip the human girl to shreds on her ready room floor.

“ _All_ contents of this bag are to come with me,” Korak demanded, advancing forward, eliciting an errant grunt from Ael who began to wonder If seeking refuge behind the commander’s chair might be a wise idea.

“Look, you can have the bag, the clothes, and the computer, the candy, whatever! But you are _not_ getting this journal or the tiger,” said Ael smartly.

This time, Centurion Korak grabbed Ael by the wrist, tighter than the last time. Unlike the previous instance, this time he had succeeded in grabbing the wrist wearing the translator, the force of his grip deactivating it. His next words, spoken low, obviously meant to be threatening, were words Ael couldn’t even being to decipher.

It scared her more than the Romulan soldier currently towering above.

“Arrain Korak,” Commander Alirra began, her calm tone laced with the characteristic no-nonsense firmness always present in a Warbrid Commander’s speech. “Lhiu.”

_Okay, I understood that, but that’s only two words not the complete, obviously nasty sentences this big brute was growling at me a second ago._

Without hesitation Korak stepped away from Ael, satchel strap still held tight, issuing a nod to confirm the given order was understood, and then he left the room. Taking a moment to get her bearings, Ael slowly inched away from the commander’s desk, turning on her heel, taking notice of the soldier who’d come during her argument with Korak. It was the same man who had pressed the little device into her palm, back on Stargazer. Speaking of devices… Quickly glancing down at her wrist, Ael tapped at the bracelet, hoping it would turn back on or she might soon be in real trouble.

The series of taps brought the device back to life, Ael able to understand the commander when she spoke next. “You may sit,” Alirra said, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk. Unlike the chairs back on Stargazer, this one wasn’t plush, wide or comfortable enough to curl up in. It was straight-backed, uncomfortable; Ael couldn’t say she liked it.

Once seated, Ael dared to close her eyes and released a somewhat weary breath. Over and over where no one else could hear, Ael continued to tell herself all would be well; she still had Movar’s picture, she still had her journal containing her most private thoughts and feelings. Nothing else in the bag really mattered. Well, Ael preferred her clothing not meet an untimely end; she supposed the commander could always be asked about possible replacements, at some point.

Eyes open, still clutching the journal close, though she had placed the stuffed tiger on her lap, Ael made eye contact with Commander Alirra who could read Ael’s uncertainty as well as an open book.

“You do not lack boldness,” Alirra said. “At the present moment, however, it appears to have gone into hiding.”

“Before, I-” Ael swallowed hard, wishing for a glass of water. “When I feel threatened or really anxious, I tend to get a bit defensive,” said Ael. “It’s a bad habit.”

“A habit which ultimately must be broken,” said Alirra seriously. “You are quite fortunate Korak did not cause injury.”

Ael barely stopped herself from wincing at the thoughts concerning what an upset Romulan, one with three times her strength, would be capable of if pushed far enough. Had he seen fit to backhand her, Korak could have very well shattered her jaw. The thought was less than appealing.

“Understood,” Ael said quietly. “I’ll be more careful, Commander. It’s just… The contents of this journal are so, deeply personal; the writings within are precious, treasured. In this book, I’ve written my hopes, dreams, aspirations for the future. I’ve also written about incredible hardships, pain, things which most people would consider private, you know?”

With a little sigh, Ael continued. “I know, everyone probably thinks this book is littered with plots, plans, secrets. It’s not. Here, I’ll… You can look at it. Please, be careful. Some of the pages are a bit worn.”

Praying Alirra wouldn’t stumble across Movar’s photo, Ael placed the journal on the desk, pushing it forward with trembling fingers. Without a word, Alirra took hold of the book, drawing it close, opening it to the first page. In her chair, Ael fought to keep the trembles at bay.

What lay before Alirra’s eyes, on the first two pages, were little more than childish scrawling, entries composed in a bright purple ink with a touch of glitter. The brightness of the font aside, Alirra found the words difficult to read. She turned the page, and then the next. Here, the writing was neater, fluid, the color of ink changing many times from green, to blue, to scarlet red, still largely illegible. Wordlessly, Alirra quirked a brow, inclining her head, turning yet another page over.

Ael watched the commander looking over the entries, a sick feeling forming in the pit of her stomach when she glimpsed what could only be called confusion in the commander’s eyes. It had only been a brief glimpse of it, perhaps Ael had been mistaken. Nervously, Ael began to gnaw on her bottom lip. She would give anything to know what the commander might be thinking.

 _Her knowledge of the syntax of the language is largely incorrect_ , Alirra thought, putting forth exceptional concentration in order to decipher the page she attempted to read. Some could argue this young humanoid girl hadn’t taught herself the Romulan tongue at all but rather derived her own, unique little language from it. Many might suggest the alien scrawls to be code, something only she could understand, containing the aforementioned secrets and plots Ael insisted wasn’t jotted down anywhere in the book’s pages.

 _In this case,_ thought Alirra, _I simply believe it to be a case of a child attempting to learn an additional language on her own, failing miserably at the task._

After several more minutes, the continued turning of pages making Ael fretfully anxious, she asked, almost meekly, “What’s wrong?” Hastily, she wiped severely sweaty palms on the skirt of her dress, knowing the commander wasn’t about to grace her with something she wanted to hear.

“Your writing is quite difficult to read, some would say impossible,” said Alirra honestly.

Ael’s complexion paled noticeably, giving her a ghostly appearance. “Wh-what do you mean?” _No… Please don’t say…_

“While the majority of your stand-alone words are accurate, most of the writing is undecipherable as a whole. There are numerous errors within the syntax, only a minuscule portion of this has been written correctly.”

Even though she considered herself a Romulan, proud and strong, Ael was unable to stop the sudden invasion of tears in her eyes, biting them back as she gazed at her open journal crestfallen. All of the time and devotion spent to learning the Rihan language, the countless nights of frustration, the angry tears that had been shed when she just couldn’t understand what she was doing, but bravely forged ahead, to keep trying…

All of it had been for nothing.

“Almost none of it is right?” she asked, her small. “Are you sure?”

“Quite positive,” Alirra answered, watching Ael deactivate the universal translator banded around her wrist. 

Fretting to the point she might be about to hyperventilate, a cold sweat beginning to bead on her forehead, Ael, after glancing between the commander, and the soldier who still had yet to speak, bid them say anything in their native tongue.

“Ssuej’d’fiv?” Commander Alirra’s question was a simply posed one, asking the girl now violently trembling if she could understand. It instantly became clear she could not.

Fervently trying to even guess what the phrase could mean, Ael batted the tears from her cheeks. The phrase _did_ sound familiar, but this was the first time a flesh-and-blood Romulan had uttered it where she could hear. Syntax aside, the chance was excellent she’d been pronouncing everything wrong all along, too.

 _How could I spend all that time and learn everything horribly wrong? I knew the words, some of them; I just didn’t know how to properly put them together. Looks like I was barely pronouncing anything right, either._ Suppressing a whimper, Ael reactivated her ‘bracelet’.

“Now why is such a thing be so upsetting to you?” Alirra asked, Ael’s upset, crestfallen stare lifting from her knees, becoming mildly incredulous.

“Wouldn’t you be?” Ael asked seriously. “It has taken me, like, years to get this far. There were so many weeks when the frustration was so intense that it nearly forced me to give up, but I didn’t. I pushed on, practiced hard, never gave up. And now, to find out _years_ of study has been this huge waste of time?” Ael’s gaze again lowered to her knees. “It doesn’t exactly feel awesome.” _Now I feel even less like a Romulan. Fantastic…_

“Tell me, what was your chosen method for learning the Romulan language?” Perhaps Alirra could see where this young thing had gone off-course in her lessons.

“I didn’t really have a set method,” said Ael, now beginning to fidget with her hands, squeezing Mr. Mittens in a vain attempt to calm down. “When I was really young I just asked questions, mainly to the officers that I knew specialized in linguistics, and there weren’t many. One or two of them just ignored me, probably thought I was nothing more than an overly-curious child, but one woman, in particular, helped me learn basic words, I started piecing them together on my own. Later, I took to researching the language on my own, what I could find of it. It wasn’t easy even at the best of times. Actually, there were many times I found it overwhelmingly exhausting. Even so, I still didn’t stop. It ended up becoming me, finding a lot of random, stand-alone words, attempting to connect them together in a way that sounded right. Only, now, I find out nothing’s correct.”

Ael slumped back in her chair with a sigh, nearly sliding off it, forced to sit up straighter than she felt like. Commander Alirra regarded Ael neutrally.

“Ah, that would explain it. Starfleet does not have extensive knowledge of our language; they rely strictly on their translators in order to communicate with outside species’. I highly doubt the vast majority of Terrans would be able to communicate even in simple terms with our people, should their translators cease to function.”

“And I guess I am now among them,” Ael grumbled sadly.

An almost unbearable silence began to unfold, Ael content to sit miserably on the hard chair, glancing up every now and then to see Alirra and the still unnamed soldier, consulting over a PADD, speaking quietly. Fiddling with the translator around her wrist became Ael’s new distraction. Deactivating the device, listening for a minute, reactivating it, deactivating it again, for longer this time. Barely anything said between the two Romulans Ael could understand and she hated it. The fact she was now going to be completely dependent on her translator, like a crutch for a man whose limp impaired his ability to walk more than it should; it hurt to need something so strongly, something that, in her heart, she shouldn’t need at all.

“Khlinae arhem, Aendeh,” said Alirra, dipping her head in a gesture of both thanks and respect once the man had finished appraisal of the PADDs contents. Ael frowned in response, becoming more and more fretful with each passing moment.

_I think she said thank you, a version of it anyways. But the other word… Is that a rank? It certainly doesn’t sound like a name, but it does sound familiar._

Deciding it best to leave the device around her wrist alone, she’d be beyond screwed if her fidgeting caused it to break, Ael waited for something to happen. The nervous pit in Ael’s stomach felt like a great, deep chasm, worse than the proverbial butterflies that often liked to invade her middle during times of great stress. This time it felt more like a flock of mogai birds.

Another stretch of silence, Alirra, again, consulting something Ael couldn’t see on a PADD. The other soldier stood quietly, waiting. Ael decided to use the silence to think rather than worry. Glancing between the two Romulans, Ael noted their differences, beginning with the different styles of uniform, down to the rank pins affixed to each collar. Slowly, to herself, Ael began to go through the list of rankings within the Romulan military, naval and otherwise. This time, she found enough focus to keep her mind on a task other than worrying herself sick.

Beginning with the Galae, the Romulan Star Navy, Ael picked her way through the ranks, from Farein to Galae’EnRiov, finding nothing to match the soldier by the commander’s desk, a man who now had a watchful eye on her person. Moving on to a division of the military most never had dealings with outside of wartime, the Gai’Shian, the equivalent of Earth’s old Marine Corps, Ael concluded he wasn’t with them, either. That only left one organization she knew of, the Tal’shiar, the most feared, highly respected group of soldiers on the planet’s surface. Slowly, carefully, Ael worked her way down the list of ranks, stopping when she hit the term the commander had used not so long ago.

 _Aendeh_ , thought Ael, resisting the urge to suck in a deep breath. He’s a _Tal’shiar major!_ It certainly made sense, now, why Commander Alirra’s last message came several hours overdue. _When I made mention of the general; did she contact him, another from that specific branch of the military altogether? Did they send an operative to rendezvous with her warbird, to keep tabs on me? The Tal’shiar makes a living of seeking deception even in those who have none available. Whomever this man is, he probably already finds me guilty of something I haven’t done nor would ever aspire to do._

It was a frightening prospect. Even had he not been like the program on Stargazer’s holodeck, Ael would have felt more comfortable had Movar been standing there beside the commander’s desk.

Consumed by thought, suddenly worried about being dragged away towards execution, Ael startled violently, nearly tumbling right off her chair when the commander next spoke.

“Consumed by worrying thoughts, are we?” Alirra asked. Ael bristled at the mocking tone she thought she heard behind the commander’s words.

“N-no,” Ael stammered. Attempting to swallow away the fear proved difficult, her mouth felt dryer than Vulcan’s Forge, her throat felt no better. “I’m just angry with myself. I didn’t learn the language properly, and now I have to depend on my translator like some idiot human, of which I’m not.”

“You appear to have no love or loyalties towards your own race, why is that?”

 _They are not my race!_ Ael yelled where Alirra couldn’t hear, cheeks flushing with anger, which did not go unnoticed. Neither did the fact it only took mentioning her humanity to incite an instant, dramatic change in behavior. “I may genetically be a human,” said Ael, her temper barely in check, “but they are _not_ my people. You know what they are to me, Commander? Abusers. That’s it. I have never felt human a day in my life. I’ve always known I was different. Nearly seven years ago, when I made the connection that I _was_ Rihan? It may have made me happier than anything, but in a way, my life became so much worse. To be Romulan, forced to live among humans; I felt trapped. Every night, I would stare up at the sky, long for home. Humans have only ever treated me like an outcast, or like a damn punching bag,” said Ael sourly, in response to her Earthly family.

Once she’d spoken, Ael felt a momentary twinge of guilt when she thought of Captain Brookes and Kat, two people who had been in her life for the last near month and had never been anything but kind.

“I would be interested to hear about this self-discovery, about what prompted your soul to realize that it was, in fact, Rihan.”

Ael’s little meeting with the commander was beginning to feel like an interrogation. At least no one had produced any mind probes out of hiding.

“I wish I had some elaborate story to tell you, Commander, but I don’t,” said Ael.

“I will hear it,” said Alirra. “A simple tale is generally far better than more elaborate ones, often concocted by many defectors now past, generally full of half-truths, usually whole lies.”

Ael began the story, telling it easily, quickly. She spoke briefly of the life she came from, about how, one night, thanks to a bout of insomnia a PADD found its way from living area to her room. The device contained her first, real introduction to anything Romulan, the remainder of the night spent staring at the photo on the screen, mind racing, heart longing.

“It felt like someone had flicked on a light switch inside of me,” said Ael. “Something internally cried out, “This is what you are! Embrace it!” and I did. From that point on, I’ve tried to be as Romulan as I knew how to be, which, if I’m honest, is probably a poor presentation of one. All I’ve ever wanted, Commander, is to go home, to finally feel whole for the first time in my life.”

“That is indeed quite a plight that you have faced,” said Alirra almost thoughtfully. “But what makes you think you will be accepted on the homeworld? You may see yourself as a Romulan, but the majority of Romulus may feel much differently.”

“I know, Commander, and I _do_ understand,” Ael answered honestly. “I _know_ I won’t be accepted with open arms, and I know that no matter what I do that I may never prove myself worthy to the majority of the homeworld, many will _always_ be suspicious. No doubt the Tal’shiar will watch my every waking move for the rest of my life. I may not like it, but I do understand it. Besides, regardless of what some may believe I don’t want power and prestigious glory.”

“Then what do you want, young one?”

“Don’t misunderstand, one day I _would_ like to serve the Empire, but what I want most…” Ael took a deep breath, “I just want a family,” she said quietly, half expecting one or both Romulans to burst into laughter at her admission.

Alirra merely nodded, holding silent for several moments, staring at the humanoid girl on the other side of her desk, a girl whose eyes were ripe with belief and filled with overwhelming hope. When she spoke of what she felt her soul to be, her gaze filled with unmistakable pride, joy, honor; perhaps this young thing really had the heart, the passionate soul of a Romulan, burning inside.

Only time, as they say, would tell.

A few notes tapped into a PADD; Alirra rose from her chair. The new arrival to her vessel seemed weary, overwhelmed. A bit of rest was no doubt in order.

“The hour is late; we will convene again at some point tomorrow. In the meantime, you are to go with Major T’Jal; he will escort you to your quarters.”

 _Quarters? Not the brig? Thank every Element in existence._ “OK. Thank you,” said Ael, slowly rising to her feet, thankful when the commander allowed her to take the journal off the desk, as well as the stuffed tiger that had fallen to the floor.

“You will be under guard, however, largely by the major,” she said, Ael nodding in response, what else could she have expected after seeing him, figuring out exactly from which organization he hailed from? “Also, you are not permitted to leave your quarters at any time unless you are escorted. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Then you may take your leave.”

On her way out of the room, the major barely a step behind, Ael spied her satchel on the floor. Other than her desktop found gone, everything else was there, though scattered about on the floor. Obviously, her device had been the only thing worth taking away for scrutiny. Hurriedly stuffing everything back into the bag, Ael lifted it from the floor, glancing at the major as she did so, half expecting him to rip the thing away from her.

Placing the strap of the bag over her shoulder, across her chest, Ael waited to be told where to go, T’Jal motioning for her to walk on, down the corridor to the left. Unlike Korak, T’Jal didn’t have his disruptor trained on her nor did he grab her by the arm and haul her along, treating her to snide comments every few meters. At least this time, too, she didn’t trip over any of the entryways.

Though she longed to ask a few curious questions about him, why the Tal’shiar decided to watch her so closely, immediately, Ael held silent for most of the trip to her room. The amount of time it took to get to quarters prompted Ael to ask, “Why are warbirds seemingly nothing but corridor? Just curious,” she added quickly, keeping it to herself how, aboard Stargazer, she could get to her room in under five minutes, from almost anywhere.

“The inclusion of many _“endless_ ” corridors within a warbird’s design is largely due to the size of the vessel itself,” T’Jal answered, unbothered by the question.

“I was just curious,” Ael repeated, though she refrained from asking any further questions lest T’Jal assume malicious intent that didn’t actually exist. It only took another few minutes to arrive at Ael’s room; she suddenly found herself worried about entering. It would definitely not be anything as luxurious as what she’d left behind on Stargazer. As long as it wasn’t something the size of a closet…

“This is where you will stay until we reach the homeworld,” T’Jal said, motioning for his young charge to enter. Without a word, Ael obeyed the silent hand motion, striding through the grey-green doors, hoping she wouldn’t be graced with spending the journey home trapped in a small storage closet.

 _A storage closet might be more stimulating_ , thought Ael, as she stepped into the nearly barren room.

Instead of sprawling before her like the stateroom aboard Stargazer had done, the quarters Ael had been assigned aboard the Romulan ship seemed to compress tight. About half the size of the original quarters she started life aboard Stargazer in, sharing with her brother, the presence of multiple bunks told Ael it this was also a room meant for sharing. Ael prayed she wouldn’t have to. A compact table, solid gray, sat in the center of the room, a chair to either side, the food replicator near the door. Against the left wall were the beds, one atop the other, incorporated into the bulkheads. Stepping over to the beds, climbing up the three-rung ladder to the top, Ael frowned. A thin mattress awaited her, a small, hard pillow, a dreadfully thin blanket that looked like it had seen far better days.

 _I’m glad I’m so small,_ she thought. _How does anyone of normal size sleep on these? Mattress aside, it’s not that wide. Then again, Romulans tend not to surround themselves in “luxurious comforts” when in service to the Empire. They believe humans to be “too soft”. A determined expression came over her face. I claim to be Romulan; this shouldn’t be a big deal. It won’t be._

Climbing down from her bunk, Ael trotted towards the back of the room, slipping into a little alcove housing the bathroom. A toilet, basin and mirror combo, a sonic shower large enough for one.

The truly devastating thing to Ael was the lack of windows. After one more appraisal of the room, she placed her satchel on her chosen bed, staring up at T’Jal who had been watching Ael appraise the quarters she’d been given.

“These are standard crew quarters for all enlisted personnel,” said T’Jal.

Ael warily eyed the bottom bunk. “Am I getting a roommate?”

“No.”

Despite the major’s tone indicating nothing of the kind, Ael felt stupid for even asking. Why in the world would any Romulan want to bunk with her? She told herself to be a bit more grateful, a little voice inside reminding she could have been tossed into a cozy little “suite” down in the bowels of the ship, in the brig, forced into a cramped little cell, denied food and drink. Likely, too, she would have been forced to deal with a nasty guardsman, one who wouldn’t be shy about inflicting pain, a little torture.

Ael nodded, asking, “If it’s OK to ask; how long until we reach the homeworld?”

“At warp eight, it will take this vessel approximately one full ten-day to reach the homeworld.”

“That’s not so bad,” said Ael. In the back of her mind, she wondered how to keep herself occupied. On Stargazer, she had the lounge, the holodecks; aboard this vessel, a warship? Ael doubted she wouldn’t be seeing anything aside from the four walls around her. It suddenly felt a little claustrophobic.

“I will leave you to rest, though do remind you that I will be predominantly standing watch outside of your room for the majority of the day hours,” he said, Ael nodding silently in response. “If you acquire assistance at any point within that time frame, you may ask.”

“I’ll remember,” Ael promised.

With a subtle head nod of his head to acknowledge, T’Jal took his leave, the doors sliding closed quietly behind. The air in the room suddenly felt far too thin, every worry, anxious thought, possible fear; the joy, elation, happiness about finally finding a way home, hitting her all at once.

Too fatigued to make sense of the chaos in her brain, Ael climbed back up to her bunk, fell into it, and allowed her eyes to close, barely able to mumble, “I’m coming home,” before falling asleep.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Eight hours after collapsing on her bunk, Ael woke to a grumbling stomach and one hell of a headache. Slowly, Ael eased into a sitting position, blinking against the lights she’d left on all night. Rubbing a hand across her throbbing forehead, Ael, through still-tired eyes gazed around the sparsely-decorated room, drudging up a little smile when the memory of where she ended up, came flooding back in a rush. So did the great many, almost conflicting feelings regarding her situation.

Choosing to ignore the majority of thoughts swirling throughout her mind, Ael focused her attention on, currently, the most important thing in the world: Breakfast. After climbing down from her bunk, visiting the bathroom, cleansing her hands in the basin, Ael wandered over to the replicator nearest the door. For a minute, Ael stared at the device, a sense of confusion interrupting what she thought had been clarity.

The replicator would be programmed to accept food and drink orders in the Romulan tongue, Ael grumbling upon remembrance: Other than stand-alone words, she really couldn’t speak the language at all, not as she once thought. Then there was the fact that the replication unit, likely, couldn’t produce any dish she knew and loved. This would be the first time in a while Ael wouldn’t sit down to a stack of pancakes, hot chocolate on the side, first thing in the morning.

“I only know of a handful of Romulan dishes,” said Ael aloud, folding her arms, scowling in a bit of a pout. “And they’re mostly all savory. I can’t order stew for breakfast!” After a little more grumbling and frowning, Ael relented her predicament with a sigh. “Just give me a glass of water.”

“Hlluiu,” responded the computer in a voice that sounded almost angry.

“Right, temperature. Um, well…” The replicator issued a chirp, demanding Ael hurry along. “I can barely speak your language so cool it,” said Ael, tempted to give the thing a kick. “Let’s see, the ankhian is the way Romulans measure temperature but I have no idea what correlates to ‘cold’. Well, maybe, but I’m going to assume I learned all of that wrong, too. Lhao.” _Please be cold, please be cold…_

A series of green glittering swirls appeared on the replicator’s serving platform, the requested glass of water shimmering into existence in under three seconds. Condensation on the outside of the glass told the contents were chilly, Ael’s throat painfully seizing when she took a moderate gulp.

“I said ‘cold’ not ‘arctic’. Goodness!” The unit issued another little beep before falling silent. Ael wasn’t entirely convinced it hadn’t given her extra-cold water on purpose. Half the glass gone, feeling chilled, hungrier than ever, Ael headed into the bathroom for a shower. Today, there would be no deliciously hot bath, water tinged the color of a morning sunrise, sweet smelling. A measly little sonic shower awaited her now, a contraption which blasted its user with warm pulse vibrations to remove dirt and odor from the body. Ael never truly felt clean after using one.  

“All right, let’s see if you are less temperamental than the replicator,” said Ael, shedding her clothes. Ael stepped in, said, “rhea”, and waited for the sonic shower to spring to life, which it did in a matter of seconds. However, instead of the gentle, humming pulses she knew to expect from a correctly tuned sonic shower, Ael found herself rudely blasted by a high-pitched pulse, chilling her right to the bone. Obviously, the sonic shower’s acoustic inverter needed a serious returning. After a minute and a half, Ael, thoroughly over the cold shower feeling, hopped from the unit, wrapping a towel around her shivering, though still dry body. “That was _invigorating_ ,” she said sourly, dropping her towel near her bunk, grateful for the clean clothing still in her satchel, even if it all looked a bit rumpled. Slipping into a black knee-length skirt, white short-sleeved shirt and dark green over-vest, Ael secured her hair into a messy ponytail.

Middle still loudly protesting the skipping of breakfast, Ael did her best to ignore, taking her journal and pen over to the table, sitting down, sipping at the glass of water that, now, didn’t seem quite as frigid. For a moment, Ael wondered if she’d done the right thing by leaving the normally-private book out all night, where just anyone could get to it.

“The commander said no one could read the darn thing, anyway,” Ael mumbled, opening the journal to a fresh page. It was a mild consolation. Pen, dark green, paused over the page. She had very nearly begun writing in the Romulan language, well, what she _thought_ was the Romulan language. There didn’t seem to be a point to continuing. “There’s no reason to keep on butchering the language,” said Ael with a sigh. “Federation Standard it is.”

Plucking the picture of Movar out from between the pages, setting it on the table beside her, Ael allowed her thoughts, emotions, everything she currently felt to spill out onto the paper.

 

_Day 1_

_It feels a bit strange to be writing in English again, but I suppose I should get used to it for a while, at least until I can learn the language the way it was meant to be learned. Gah! I still cannot believe that I learned the language incorrectly from the get-go! To be honest, I’ve kind of thought about stepping outside my quarters later and asking T’Jal, I think that’s his name if he’ll help me with learning the language properly. I don’t really want to be leaning full-force on my translator once I reach the homeworld, but I suppose that is a bit too much to ask for. I’ll never learn it that quickly; it takes years to become fluent, I’m sure. But still…I’d like to try to learn something useful._

_Everything is so real now; there’s no more wishing on foreign stars through my bedroom window back on Earth, no more crying out in the dead of night, longing for home. Home… Romulus will soon be that to me, finally, I hope. I’m both overjoyed at the prospect of seeing it for the first time yet am frightened at the uncertainty of what awaits me on the surface. Xenophobic by nature, wary of outsiders are the Romulan people, a fact I’ve known for years, as well as understand. Upon beaming down to the surface, I don’t intend to be greeted warmly, arms of the people spread wide in welcome. Honestly, I expect the opposite from most: distrustful stares, a disgusted sneer on every lip is probably far more what I’ll ‘come home’ to._

_There are_ _probably worse fates I could face, though they would likely, only come to pass if I were of adult age rather than just a kid. I still hope to catch someone’s eye on the planet’s surface, find a home, a family; a bit of wishful thinking but maybe I could, you know, find a family who might just grow to love and cherish me. Quite an admission, huh? Dream big, as they say._

_At the moment, I’m sort of pining away for the holodeck, which I’m sure this ship must have, though likely never used for recreation. They probably use it for training exercises. Is it weird that I miss Toran? A swim in the Apnex sounds heavenly right about now._

“And so does breakfast,” said Ael softly. “Hush, will you?” Now, she growled back at her stomach.

_Anyway, journal, for the next ten days, maybe more, it’s just you and me. There’s no lounge that I know of, not that I’d be allowed to go if there were, no holodeck, really no friendly faces._

_When I met with the commander yesterday, there were times I could hear this little laugh in the back of her throat when she spoke, glimpsed the hint of a smirk at the corner of her mouth. Honestly, I think she finds me a bit laughable. I’m sure I looked funny sitting there, curled up with a stuffed animal on my lap, petting and squeezing it in order to try and find a sense of calm. I even started to cry, once. Even though I feel Romulan deep down where it matters; even though I want everyone here and on Romulus to see me as proud, fearless, the perfect image of a Romulan young lady, I know it won’t happen. I need to present myself better; I need to learn to be a Romulan._

_And my stomach needs to stop growling at me every thirty seconds!_

Pausing, setting down her pen, not even sure where her writing might be taking her; much of what she wrote certainly didn’t instill hope or confidence for the immediate future. Stomach growling again, Ael turned to look back longingly at the replicator, gaze drifting toward the door, and then she remembered T’Jal, a man likely standing right outside who, the previous night made mention Ael could ask him for assistance at any point during the day hours.

“Unless he wants me to starve, I’m pretty sure he’ll help me get some food,” Ael mused aloud. Staring down at the rumpled clothing on her body, Ael took a minute to smooth down the garments as much as possible, preferring to look presentable. “Romulans generally don’t look like slobs or slouches,” she said. Stepping close to the door, activating its motion sensor; the door slid aside, revealing T’Jal who’d been standing to the right of the door to her quarters, and who, now, turned to face her.

“Do you require assistance?” T’Jal asked neutrally, noting how Ael’s feet remained just behind the threshold, adhering quite strictly to the earlier spoken rule of being unable to leave her quarters without an escort.

“I do,” Ael answered, hands behind her back, stance tall. T’Jal quirked a slanted brow in response to the sudden formal behavior. “With two things, if I may.” A nod of the head prompted Ael to continue. “The replicator demands I order my breakfast in the native tongue, and thanks to yesterday, I now know I can’t exactly speak it as well as I once thought.”

A simple request, at least. T’Jal had half expected for the girl to, meekly, ask about leaving the confines of a room that no doubt felt far too small compared to what had been left behind on the starship she’d been plucked from.

“Your second request?” T’Jal questioned, stepping into the room once Ael had moved back.

“It regards my inability to speak the Romulan language,” Ael began, allowing the sudden formalities to fall away when she said, “Could you, um, teach me? Please? It’ll at least be something to do during the day hours, for an hour or two, anyway.” Ael’s voice lowered. “It would be nice to be able to speak at least a little of the language by the time we reach ch’Rihan.” _I’m still ridiculously annoyed at having learned everything backward!_

“I will instruct you on the basics of the language,” said T’Jal, Ael’s face lighting at the news. It slightly fell, however, when he reminded, “Do be advised: A ten-day is not a sufficient timeframe in which to learn a good portion of the language, not as you wish it was. Fluency may well take years to achieve, and that assumes you are learning only one of the three dialects spoken on the homeworld.”

“I kn- Wait, did you say _three_ languages?”

A subtle incline of the head. “Yes. High Rihan is generally used by those in a position of power within the Empire, as well as those who carry Noble Born status. Old High Rihan is a much older, some would say the purer language of the Romulan people. There are some, usually much older individuals, living in many of the much older cities, who communicate purely in that particular dialect. Low Rihan is what the majority of people with whom you will have contact will speak. It is typically used by lower-class citizens.”

Ael internally bristled but dared not say a word against the possible insult. After a moment, not that the major was terribly readable, Ael concluded he hadn’t meant any offense, merely telling things as they were.

Nodding, Ael’s stomach thought of a response before she could. The loudness of her stomach’s ‘roar’ caused the girl to flush with slight embarrassment. “Right now, would you be able to show me how to order something from the replicator?”

“Deactivate your translator,” said T’Jal. “A lesson of sorts will begin now.” Translator now off, T’Jal said, “Ihor’yeho,” a tall, chilled glass of lavender liquid appearing in a swirl of shimmering light. “Taolhe.” He gestured towards the cup; Ael lifted it and took a tentative sip.

Green eyes lit up at the sweet, mildly tart taste, taking a larger gulp than she assumed polite, though T’Jal said nothing against it. _It kind of tastes like a blackberry, blueberry, and a hint of cranberry_ , she thought. “Daelft,” said Ael, nodding almost a little too enthusiastically. At least, for the moment, she could get away with one-word responses. Another drink materialized next, a pale-yellow concoction called carallun, a citrus drink usually consumed in the morning, its taste ranging from a mild tartness to overwhelmingly sour, depending on how strong the beverage was prepared. The mild variety wasn’t terribly bad, but when T’Jal replicated a glass of much stronger carallun, Ael’s face twisted up in soured disgust at the first taste.

“Too sour,” stated Ael in English. Setting the glass of offending drink, down, Ael wiped her eyes. “Usae,” she added quickly, a mild apology for slipping out of the Romulan dialect.

“Nnhk,” T’Jal stated next to the device. Ael had serious doubts she could make those particular sounds at all. How could ordering breakfast be so simple and yet so difficult?

This time, a stark white plate appeared, a pair of filled pastries neatly presented. Selecting the largest of the two, Ael gave the item a little sniff, biting into it. Something reminiscent of berries and custard exploded in her mouth. The pastry, warm and flaky had a slight buttery taste, the warmth of the inner filling, comforting.

“Mmm, _staere_ ,” said Ael with a satisfied nod, taking another bite, meandering away from the replicator without a care in the world, language lesson momentarily forgotten until T’Jal cleared his throat.

“H’ta fvau,” he said, beckoning her back. Ael stuffed the last bite of pastry in her mouth, wandering back over to the replicator, wearing a mildly sheepish expression.

“Usae,” said Ael around what remained of the pastry.

After another few items found their way out of the replicator, the short, impromptu lesson on how to at least order breakfast, came to an end. Having received several things to try, including a thick, goopy, bland oatmeal, a slightly runny, though fruity, yogurt-like substance, a plate of colorful fruits both tart and sweet, and a meat and herb-filled pastry lump she wasn’t entirely sold on, Ael concluded the pastries with the berries and custard to be the best of the lot.

“Were those all of the choices?” Ael asked.

“For first meal, yes. It is quite obvious which selection is the desired preference.” Ael’s gaze steadily sat on the replicator at the mention of those luscious pastries. The temptation for ordering another plate firmly lodged in Ael’s middle.

“Other than the fruits, they tasted the best. “I’m not sure I’m capable of pronouncing what they’re called, though. How do you make that sound in your throat?”

T’Jal attempted to show her; Ael’s efforts proved to be dismal. It was difficult to keep the frustration from her face. “You will not learn unless you practice consistently,” he said seriously. “Self-doubt will also inhibit your ability to learn anything of importance,” he added, Ael mumbling how ‘such a sound really wasn’t possible’, at least for her, to produce.

“You’re right, I know. Even at the best of times, it all seems difficult. My past experiences never exactly gave me loads of self-confidence.”

“You are here, are you not?” T’Jal asked seriously.

“Well, yes, but-”

“Had you not even a shred of self-confidence, I can assure you that you would presently not be here. Likely, you would never have been taken from Stargazer nor your message answered, had you been able to send your initial transmission at all.”

Ael had to admit the major had a point. “If only my past had been easier,” said Ael with a heaving sigh. _If only I’d been born a Romulan from the beginning._

“Forget your past; it no longer matters.”

Blinking hard, loosely folding her arms, Ael said, slightly offended, “That’s easy for you to say. I’m sure your past, compared to mine, was a walk in the proverbial park. And at least you were actually born Romulan. I got stuck with the wrong body.”

“While it is true my parentage is Romulan in nature, I must remind that you do not know me or my past history. It may not have been the “stroll in the park” you assume.” Flushing, Ael averted her eyes to the floor. “If you allow your past to dictate your future steps, then your aspirations and your journey have already failed.”

“How old are you, if I’m allowed to ask?”

“One hundred and twenty,” said T’Jal who barely looked older than a human of perhaps forty years of age.

“OK, and I’m fifteen. I understand the point you’re trying to make, sort of, but asking someone my age to forget every horrible, nasty thing that’s happened to them in the literal blink of an eye; it doesn’t seem fair. That’s a lot to ask of a kid, T’Jal.” For a brief moment, Ael considered pulling down the collar of her shirt, allowing the major’s gaze to trail over the nasty scarring.

“Time, patience, perseverance; those three things are the key to leaving your past behind. It will not necessarily be an easy feat; at times you may lend yourself to moments of anger, frustration, sadness. The key is to gather your courage and push forward, leaving those haunting memories, those painful times further behind. Though you may never truly forget the misery of your past, you can take the steps to prevent it from making a hell of your future.”

As far as Ael figured, leaving the past behind might very well take a lifetime. In any case, complaining about it would do little good.

“I understand,” said Ael at last. “Sorry for complaining. I generally try not to. I suppose I’m just wondering how such things, leaving the past behind, are going to be possible on my own.”

Sinking down into one of the chairs at the little table, Ael propped an elbow on the surface, resting her chin in her palm. Instead of T’Jal vacating Ael’s quarters, she had a feeling listening to her various fears and complaints might only serve to annoy, he pulled up the only other chair in the room and sat.

“Did you not tell the commander of this vessel of your wish to become part of a family unit?”

The question momentarily caught Ael off-guard. After a few quick blinks, she adjusted her position in the chair, sitting up a little straighter. Curiously, Ael tipped her head to the side. “I did. Does it matter, though? I thought the likelihood of anyone allowing me into their home to be a very slim chance. Honestly, I expected to be thrown out on the streets and told to fend for myself.”

“Due to your age that is unlikely,” T’Jal said, Ael finding at least a little comfort in his admission. “However, as for being allowed under another’s roof; while the vast majority of the empire is considered highly xenophobic, shunning outsiders, allowing them no trust, deeming them without personal honor, there are some who would undoubtedly open their home to you, fostering you as nothing more than a lost child, raising you in the ways of the Romulan people. Some may pity you, others may render aid when needed; not everyone will wish to see your journey end in failure.”

 _Like you?_ Ael nearly blurted. Never could she have imagined a Tal’shiar soldier of any rank to sit with her, listen to her problems, offer counsel. He’d even agreed to give her a language lesson at some point, beyond merely ordering breakfast from the replicator. For a moment, Ael considered asking if he might be willing to take her in, dismissing the idea when she recalled her time on the holodeck with Movar. Perhaps T’Jal knew of him; if Ael only asked, maybe he could put in a good word for her, see to it the general took her into his home.

It felt too much to ask for.

“Anyway, I know I asked about a language lesson,” Ael began, twirling a loose lock of hair idly around a finger, “but would it be OK if I asked you about families on Romulus instead?” Before T’Jal could respond, Ael gave her head a sudden shake, pressing a hand against her left temple, face momentarily twisted in a grimace of discomfort.

“Are you in pain?”

“I woke up with my head pounding,” said Ael after a moment. “It settled down for a little bit but I just got hit with a new influx of achiness in my temples. The lightheadedness is new, though.”

“The gravity both here and on the homeworld is higher than what you are accustomed to,” T’Jal explained. “Your body may take upwards of several weeks to appropriately adjust.”

“Wonderful,” Ael commented dryly. She really hoped a mercilessly pounding headache, reeling dizziness wouldn’t be on the agenda for the next month or more.

“If the symptoms persist, I will escort you to the infirmary for an analgesic.”

The thought of some surly Romulan doctor poking and prodding, injecting her with only Elements knew what; it didn’t hold terribly much appeal. “I’ll let you know if it gets worse. Anyway, about family…” Ael began, attempting to steer the conversation back toward the chosen subject.

“Judging from what little you have disclosed thus far, I am going to assume the family from which you come have been less than kind.” A silent nod, further compounding the pain in Ael’s head, confirmed what T’Jal suspected. “Families on the homeworld are indeed much different than what you have been exposed to over the past fifteen years. On Romulus, families tend to be tightly bonded to one another, fiercely loyal, which in turn makes for a strong, steadfast unit of devotion and protection.”

“It sounds wonderful,” Ael said quietly. It pained her to think all she could have had, had her parentage not been human. “I’ve never had that sort of family structure. There’s no violence? No demeaning words carelessly thrown around? There are no ridiculous notions to measure up to in order to be accepted or loved?” It felt impossible to keep from shouting, to not cry; Ael barely managed not to do both when she spoke.

“While there are exceptions to every rule, on likely every world, the majority of families on Romulus are _not_ as you have so obviously been forced to endure being a part of for so long. Parents typically love their children, are deeply bonded to them; it is a rare thing to find a family unit that does not care for or protect one another. Everyone within a home, be it Noble or commoner, military or civilian or servant protects the entirety of the home with their very lives.”

Curious to hear more, Ael leaned forward, arms on the table, listening with rapt attention to whatever fell out of T’Jal’s mouth, no longer paying any mind to the ache in her head. The current topic filled Ael with wonder, hope; to think of becoming part of a family unit where everyone from servant to Head of House protected one another with undying loyalty… It almost felt too much to really hope for yet Ael couldn’t help herself.

Throughout the conversation, Ael leaned that most families on Romulus made their homes in small to modest-sized dwellings, large enough to comfortably house mother, father, and upwards of three children, possibly a small house pet, like a cat, if one of the kids begged just enough. There were also much larger homes, generally inhabited by prestigious military men and women or by those in the political arena, the majority of such people Noble Born, dedicated to a certain way of life far beyond the scope of common folk. Such estates were of grand design, part of a complex in which the entirety of a Noble Born clan lived together. The head of such families, designated the hru’hfirh or “House Lord” typically had the final say regarding decisions involving the home as a whole

It sounded fascinating yet complicated, Ael’s mind momentarily wandering lightyears away, wondering what the general’s family might be like and how grand his estate must be. Closing her eyes, Ael allowed her daydreams to grow, carrying her blissfully away. T’Jal, eventually, cleared his throat to return her attention.

“Sorry,” said Ael, pink-cheeked. “My thoughts wandered away for a minute.”

“Indeed. Would I be correct in assuming you are no longer filled with quite so much self-doubt and negativity, regarding what may await you on the homeworld?”

“I do feel a bit better,” Ael admitted. “To be honest, while I don’t necessarily expect to find such a thing right away; it will be nice to eventually be a part of a family who wants the best for everyone who’s a part of it. Maybe, then, I’ll be able to leave my past where it belongs.”

“Set your gaze firmly ahead now, Ael. Do not wait until you have stumbled across those who will accept you, welcoming you into their home as a part of its family. Allow your gaze to wander ahead if you must, aspiring for greatness; do not continue to peer over your shoulder, reflecting on what used to be.”

A little chirp punctuated the end of T’Jal’s sentence, the major speaking into the communications device located just beneath the sleeve of his tunic. After a quick, “We will continue this discussion later,” T’Jal took to his feet and strode purposefully from the room.

“Someone is in a rush,” Ael said to the door. Silently, she wondered if the major’s hasty retreat concerned something about her. It wouldn’t be surprising. Still, there was little use fretting about it. Deciding to curl up on her bunk for a bit of a doze, anything to lessen the headache now accompanied by nausea, Ael concentrated on the things T’Jal had said, wondering how long it might be before someone took exceptional notice of her, taking her into their family.

An hour later T’Jal strode back through the doors to Ael’s quarters, nudging the sleeping girl awake with a hand on her shoulder.

“Wha…?” Ael sat up groggily, peering down at T’Jal through blurred vision.

“I need you to come with me,” he said seriously.

Uneasy, concern flooding her middle, Ael climbed down from her bunk. Head still pounding, doing her best to smooth down rumpled clothing in case another meeting with the ship’s commander might be on the agenda, Ael followed T’Jal out the door and down the hall.

“Is anything wrong?” Ael asked uneasily, doing her best to keep with T’Jal’s long-legged stride. “Where are we going?”

“The commander wishes to speak with you,” he said simply. “Or rather her superior wishes it.”

Ael’s steps slowed considerably, and then stopped altogether, the pit of nervousness within her middle increasing tenfold. “The Praetor?” she asked worriedly.

“No, though you will quite likely stand before him and the Imperial Senate once you reach the homeworld within the week.”

“Then who…?”

“Come” he responded, giving no details as to what might await, motioning Ael to follow.

Taking a deep breath, Ael walked on, thoughts whirling a mile a minute. _Be calm_ , she willed. _Speak from the heart, keep the stammering to a minimum and don’t you dare cry! It doesn’t matter who I’m about to meet with, really, does it? Everyone is bound to be the same: Nothing more than a group of people looking to catch me in a lie that doesn’t exist. I have to present as strong, confident despite my age. T’Jal is right in that self-doubt will get me nowhere with anyone. Well, I’m going to be so damn confident they’re all going to take a second look at me!_

Plan formulated, Ael straightened her posture and lengthened her stride to match T’Jal’s confident steps as much as possible, lifting her chin, holding her head high before stepping through the commander’s ready room doors, as ready as ever to display all the confidence in the world.

When Ael stepped through the doors, the overwhelming confidence vanished in a blink, replaced by confusion, panic. Halting a foot inside the door, Ael stared at the screen on Commander Alirra’s desktop, breaking out in a sweat, refusing to move closer until T’Jal insisted on it, giving her a little shove from behind.

“Sit,” he instructed, nodding toward the chair in front of the commander’s desk. Ael blindly complied, gaze riveted to the screen. The desire to turn and flee had never been so strong, yet strong was the desire to stay.

_How can this be?_

On the screen, before her eyes, patiently waiting for Ael to get her bearings was a very familiar face, one she had seen daily in a particular photo since her youth, whose voice had come to mind in the midst of hopelessly painful situations, whom she had been able to interact with for hours at a time on Stargazer’s holodeck, giving her something she’d never experienced in her life before.

Ael’s heart beat frantically, the urge to break down and weep despite the earlier promise to herself felt unbearably strong. All she could do besides fight the urge to cry was to stare at the general, a man whose serious countenance also held great patience. Adoration, respect, love; Ael’s gaze held it all, displaying it openly.

_What do I do? What do I say! The one thing I’ve waited my entire life for and I’m horribly unprepared and overwhelmed and, and… Elements, help me; I’m not ready for this. I’m just not ready!_

 

*****

 

**Stammering, trembling; it suddenly seemed to be all I could do. If both the commander, and major knew exactly what the general was to me, whom he’d always been despite never having a clue; I don’t think either of them would have blamed my initial reaction to seeing him on the screen.**

**The entire universe or at the very least the warbird whose deck I stood on, seemed to come to a halt. Everything around me, save for the screen that housed General Movar’s image, out of focus, little more than blobs of irregular, blurry shapes and color. A high-pitched whine invaded my right ear; my left one momentarily went deaf. Hot, wet moisture built up behind my eyes, dreadfully stinging, prompting a series of quick blinks that, along with the warm flush on my face, telling everyone in the commander’s ready room exactly how I felt.**

**My mouth hung slightly ajar, like a fish out of water as I desperately tried to find something to say. Over and over something in my mind reminded of the fact this meeting was the ‘real deal’; this definitely wasn’t a holodeck where I could program the individual to respond as I wished. Wracking my brain, I tried to think of something to say; somehow, I doubted blurting out “Daddy” in a plaintive, meek little voice, tears streaming down my cheeks would impress anyone terribly much.**

**Lower lip trembling before I could stop it, the restless fidgeting of hands on my lap, two tears leaking from an eye to trail silently down my cheek, one right after the other. _I’ve already blown it,_ I thought miserably. To have the general see, instead of the proud, strong. Noble Romulan I claimed to be at heart, the complete opposite; it may as well have been called a fate worse than death.**

**Swallowing hard around the lump of unease I dared to speak. “I-I…” It didn’t go over as well as I’d hoped. My gaze darted right; the commander staring at me, very mildly amused, a little intrigued, somewhat annoyed. I bet she felt like a right idiot after contacting her superiors about me. T’Jal stood behind at the door; he likely thought me a lost cause, too.**

**Movar, however, appeared concerned. At least he hadn’t already deactivated the screen on his end. Had I been him, I might have. Again, I tried to speak, continuing to stammer, hastily batting the tears from my cheeks, finally reduced to half-sitting on my hands in order to stop them from shaking.**

**“It’s a-an honor, G-general,” I said, managing to nod my head in a gesture of politeness and acknowledgment, the norm for most. More tears started falling; I was about to crumble in front of the man I most honored, respected, cherished, and loved like a father. It became harder and harder not to admit exactly what he’d always been to me. Somewhere in the midst of a severely overworking mind, I heard Movar say calmly,**

**“You may take your leave, Commander, Major.”**

**“Yes, General,” they said nearly in unison, wasting no time striding purposefully from the room, leaving me alone, sitting on that painfully hard chair and trembling, tears streaming down my face, staring at the one person in the room who meant the world to me.**

**Even if he didn’t have a clue.**

*********

 

Once alone, gaze locked with that of her “father”; Ael could feel what remained of her sanity slipping away out of a very shaky grasp. Posture telling of uncertainty, face awash with both awe and anxious panic; Ael couldn’t have been more a mess if she tried. Then there were her eyes, blood-green, some might have called their color, radiating much more than anxiety. The best way Movar could describe that stare was respectfully adoring, reminding him of the way a daughter might look upon her father, anxiety out of the picture of course.

Expression shifting, Ael attempted to tell Movar how much she trusted him, how much love she had for him in a role he wasn’t aware he’d played, all without saying a word. Speaking seemed to be impossible. A posture change; every muscle in Ael’s body tightened, her body turning by a micron, the urge to run from the room, away from the overwhelming situation rising like a tide upon a shore.

“At ease, young lady,” said Movar in a calm, though inherently deep, commanding voice. Ael startled slightly when he spoke, the feeling quickly replaced by one of longing, of possibly hearing that same voice as it soothed every last ounce of nervous anxiety her mind dared produce.

“I-I’m sorry,” Ael stammered meekly, unable to clearly project her voice. So much for radiating confident poise. “I-I just c-can’t…” Swallowing hard around the lump in her throat, Ael averted her gaze to the floor. Suddenly everything felt beyond hopeless.

“What can you not do?” Movar asked in that, still, patient tone.

Ael hadn’t a clue how to answer. “This,” she said, gesturing to the air seemed to be the best she could do. “I-I’m way t-to overwhelmed,” she admitted honestly. There were a great many things more Ael wanted to admit to but she held back. She doubted he would care for being called “daddy” by a human outsider.

“Why is that so?” Did his voice suddenly sound more soothing, like a father attempting to coerce his child into revealing the nature behind her stammering fretfulness? To Ael, it felt like it, though she supposed she might only be seeing, hearing what felt the most comforting at the moment. Still, the fact she presented as but a child, an uncertain, frightened one; perhaps he really was attempting to soothe her.

Movar never made it a habit to be cruel to children, tending to provide a listening ear, a gentler countenance towards them, providing reassurance, offering wise counsel. Before him now sat Ael, biologically human, the supposed soul of a Romulan, frightened and uncertain, clearly a child who looked toward him for guidance, a question sitting behind her wide-eyed stare that she couldn’t bring herself to ask.

What could it be, Movar wondered. Commander Alirra’s earlier communiqué made it clear Ael knew of him, she had mentioned him by name, actually. Before he could ask, Ael stammered, “I-I can’t tell you,” in regard to the earlier posed question. “You’ll think h-horribly of me.” _And I wouldn’t be able to bear it._

“I do not think that will happen,” Movar said reassuringly, but Ael refused to speak further on the subject.

 _What am I supposed to say?_ Frantically, silently Ael begged for assistance to come, for a way to speak confidently to magically overcome her. Neither came. When Movar attempted to coerce Ael into sharing the secret she so longed to speak, to tell him why her eyes gazed upon him with respectful adoration; it all became too much to handle.

Fearful of blurting out every last little secret she had, refusing to allow Movar to possibly become offended by how she saw him; with a trembling apology on her lips Ael leaped up from the chair, seeking escape from the onslaught of emotions bearing down upon her small form, soon to crush her.

Ael burst through the commander’s ready room door and down the hall like a shot. Commander Alirra fixed Ael with a displeased stare, shaking her head, mumbling a curse under her breath; generals were not known far and wide for their forgiving natures. Alirra prayed she wouldn’t find herself in suddenly dire straights for having brought such a whimpering little thing aboard ship at her own personal recommendation no less. Alirra stepped back into her ready room, apology outbound before the doors closed behind; T’Jal pursued Ael down the hall.

Ael, distraught, and winded thanks to heavy sobbing hadn’t made it far up the corridor, T’Jal bringing her to a stop, hand carefully around her arm before she knew he’d even been behind her.

“What in the Elements names is the matter with you?” T’Jal scolded. “Such a childish display, in front of a general no less! You continue to claim you are Romulan at heart yet-”

“Being Rihan has _nothing_ to do with it!” Ael hollered, rubbing a hand over her arm when T’Jal released it. “And in case you haven’t noticed, T’Jal, I am a kid. Just a kid raised, unfortunately, by Starfleet officers. This is my first, real contact with Romulans in my life. What in the names of Air and Fire do you expect from me?”

“Lower your voice this instant,” T’Jal demanded. “If you could attempt to behave with even a hint of mnhei’sahe at the present moment; you are treading a very fine line where honor is concerned.”

Mnhei’sahe or “The Ruling Passion” was the very definition of Romulan honor. Generally, one had to tread carefully when dealing with other parties, taking great care to ensure everyone’s “face” was left in-tact after an interaction had taken place. There was more to than that Ael knew, but the premise remained the same: Don’t be unnecessarily uncivil, rude or challenging unless one desires a possibly deadly rebuke.

“You don’t understand,” said Ael in a much quieter voice than before.

“Then enlighten me.” T’Jal allowed Ael a few moments to get her bearings, quiet her sobs, and dry her eyes, though stayed close in case she decided to take off up the hall a second time. Three minutes later, T’Jal asked, “Well? Have you nothing to explain regarding your juvenile outburst?” and folded his arms.

Explaining wasn’t easy, Ael side-stepping nervously, stammering, fidgeting. What did Movar think of her? Had he been curious about her, after she’d dropped his name to Commander Alirra? Had his intrigue prompted the surprise meeting in the commander’s ready room in the first place? How did he see her now; as nothing more than a pitiful excuse for a human nothing who should have been left aboard Stargazer, to eventually die by her own hand? The thoughts produced further wetness in Ael’s eyes. Just when T’Jal was set to take Ael by the arm, dragging her back up the corridor if it came right down to it…

“Haerhe!” Ael exploded, halting the major’s reaching hand. Chest heaving, Ael stared upward, holding her ground against the Romulan soldier. “Haerhe,” she repeated softer. “Say it and mean it or I will never be able to explain a thing.”

“That brazen attitude is going to one day be your undoing,” said T’Jal less than thrilled at the forcefulness in which Ael had made her request. “This secret you harbor; it is something that obviously means a great deal. And for the record: No Rhian would ever say haerhe, without meaning it. As you know, it is not a phrase to be tossed about carelessly.”

“Is it nothing you can say to me?” Ael asked, wiping her eyes. For the barest of moments, Ael thought she saw the major relenting. While she doubted there would be an interrogation, mind probes affixed to her temples, brutally, forcefully pulling sought information from the deepest recesses of her mind, Ael knew, at the very least, he wouldn’t be shy about hoisting her over his shoulder and whisking her away, back to the commander’s ready room.

“It is something I should _not_ say to you,” T’Jal said seriously. Turning to the right, then to the left; T’Jal seemed to be making sure the “coast was clear” before he turned back toward Ael, looked her dead in the eyes and said, “Haerhe.”

“Y-you actually said it,” said Ael in surprise.

“And now I believe you owe an explanation.”

 _You both made a vow, almost a blood-promise to one another_ , Ael silently reminded, all the while gathering her courage. _Tal’shiar or not, he swore to never betray what you’re about to disclose. Still, Tal’shiar major, you just a human child; will he truly keep his word?_

Second guessing how honorable the major was or was not quickly became tiresome. Taking a deep breath, Ael launched into the requested explanation, barely pausing for breath until every last ounce of information she dared to reveal had been expelled. Feeling sapped of energy, Ael, eyes downcast, breathing a little too quick, waited for a response to come.

“So the general has become a mentor,” T’Jal said at last. “A father figure.”

“The only sense of family I have ever had, more like,” said Ael to her shoes. “If it wasn’t for him, the strength I gathered from simply seeing his picture or imagining him near; I’d be dead by now.”

“I see.”

“What happens now?” Ael asked in mild wariness.

“Now, I decide the best course of action to take.”

“What do you mean?” Ael suddenly felt sick. “Y-you’re not going to tell the general…?”

“I take honor seriously,” said T’Jal a bit crossly. “Had I not been willing to keep the shared information close, guarded for life, I would never have made the promise, to begin with.”

“Sorry. I never meant any insult. I’m just scared, all right?”

“You are fortunate I am understanding of your plight regarding learning the proper way to behave around actual Romulans. Most will not be as understanding as I,” he reminded. “Take care in the way you speak. Regarding my comment about course of action; I must decide on whether or not to take you back to the commander’s ready room or back to your quarters.”

“Do you think the general is waiting for me to come back?” A sliver of hope remained in Ael’s heart, the girl praying for a do-over, a chance to apologize for the copious amounts of shed tears, for barely being able to speak, for running from the room without so much a backward glance at the screen. Would he bother giving her a second chance?

“That I cannot tell you. Come.” A beckoning gesture for Ael to follow; T’Jal turned and headed back towards the commander’s ready room. Falling into step beside without complaint, Ael silently pondered her fate. “Remain here,” he said once outside the door.

“OK,” Ael said, uncertainty, dread, a host of other feelings cluttering up both heart and head. Waiting wasn’t Ael’s strong suit not that, this time, she had long to wait. Less than a minute after entering the ready room, T’Jal stepped out, motioning for Ael to follow. Hesitantly, Ael fell into step beside him, unable to read the expression on his face when she dared glance up.

“What happened?” Ael dared to ask once they reached her room.

T’Jal doubted he should answer her at all. “The commander is less than pleased with you.”

“And the general?” Ael tentatively asked. “Have I ruined my chances of -” _finding a family._

“By the time I returned, General Movar’s transmission had terminated. I am unable to speak of his thoughts regarding you at this moment.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ael said meekly. “It was so overwhelming and I couldn’t think straight. It almost felt like there was a heavy weight on my chest; it felt like I was suffocating. Is there any way you can let him know I didn’t mean what happened?”

Sending daily reports to his superiors, the majority going through at least two generals, Movar included, before ever reaching the Chairman, T’Jal had little doubts concerning Ael’s request. It wouldn’t be terribly difficult to send something to headquarters, encrypting it, marking it for Movar’s eyes only.

“Perhaps. For now, I have duties to attend to. I will return later.”

Unable to utter another word, Ael quickly found herself thrust into silence. Staring at the door, willing T’Jal to come back, to promise her everything would be smoothed over with Movar, somehow, before arrival to the homeworld; he didn’t return in the half hour she stood there, still as stone. All of a sudden Ael wished for a sharp object, anything to force the feelings in her head to shift, from one pain to another altogether. Perhaps the best idea would be to crawl into her bunk, curl up and cry herself to sleep. It seemed to be the best she could manage these days.

Climbing up to her bunk, Ael reached for her journal, extracting Movar’s photo from somewhere in the middle, gazing into lifeless eyes unable to see back, and begged for forgiveness. If only she had another chance, more time to prepare, then, maybe, she could disclose everything in her heart to the one who mattered the most.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

One day passed and then another; Ael alone for the duration. To be alone for so long, to hear nothing from the people who held her life in their hands; it felt nothing short of maddening. Ael kept busy by journaling, talking to the continually tear-stained photo of General Movar, and allowing thoughts, more negative than positive, to roam free in her head. Honestly, Ael could scarcely remember a time when she felt devoid of all hope; a finger trailing down the scar beginning at her clavicle gave a reminder and she sighed. Yes, only one other time had felt eternally hopeless but even then, through chance, a spark of it had lit again. Perhaps this time something would happen to yield the same.

“T’Jal never even came back,” mumbled Ael to the photo of the general, the following morning. With how roughly he’d scolded her the day she’d fled from the commander’s ready room; Ael supposed she couldn’t blame the major for having already grown tired of her.

_They were expecting a well-spoken, vibrant young lady who radiated confidence, a fiery passion for the people whom she called her own. Instead, they were treated to a dismal display, showing them the opposite. I wouldn’t doubt if they, now, think I’m more trouble than I was ever worth._

Mid-afternoon marked the time Ael finally climbed down off her bunk; her hunger had finally gotten the better of her. Ael reeled with dizziness when her feet touched the deck, shaking her head back and forth to clear the sudden pounding in her head.

“Damn gravity,” grumbled Ael, heading to the food replicator, stating, “Aekhhwi, lhao,” a bit angrily, and then snatching away the newly materialized cup of water. It took Ael several minutes to clear her head enough to remember how to order the fruit and custard-filled pastries.

Taking her meal to the table, Ael sat, gaze fixated on the door, wondering if T’Jal still stood outside on guard duty. She’d been too upset with herself over the last two days to bother checking. At least no one had yet to barge into her room, brandishing a pistol in her face to seize her by the arm, dragging her away to meet an untimely end. Barely comforted by that fact, or maybe just the taste of the pastries, Ael concentrated on sipping at the glass of water, brooding in silence.

An hour of brooding later the doors parted, T’Jal stepping across the threshold. Ael pretended not to notice. She felt angry; he’d left her alone for over two days! Had she not known how to order food and drink, not that she had bothered ordering food until today; as upset as Ael felt, yelling at the major would do more harm than good.

“What?” Ael asked, attempting to show as little annoyance as possible, not quite succeeding.

“Someone is certainly despondent today,” said T’Jal, noting Ael’s angry posture, empty stare, and the way her fingers played in her glass of water, flicking droplets over the rim and across the table.

Lifting her head, staring at T’Jal incredulously, allowing a bit of anger to show, Ael said, “How in the world am I supposed to feel?” Attitude barely in check, Ael got to her feet, stood before the major, folded her arms, and glared. So much for minding her honor, as T’Jal had instructed, days ago.

“Now that,” said T’Jal, mildly amused, matching Ael’s posture, arms folded looser, “is quite the expression.”

“What else do you expect? Before you say something akin to, “For you to behave like the Romulan you claim to be,” remember: I’m a kid who grew up among Starfleet. That fact aside, I’ve been left alone in here for two and a half days; had I not known how to work the replicator, I’d probably be shriveled up thanks to dehydration. And then there’s the horrible first impression I made on the general, someone whom I love and respect more than anyone else in the world. I’m sure he thinks I’m a worthless excuse for a person of any race right about now.” Quietly, Ael added, “So what happens now? The brig; deposited on some desolate planet? I’m pretty sure I’ve ruined any chance I might have had of ever seeing the homeworld.”

Ael lowered her gaze to the floor, T’Jal lifting it by way of a hand cupping her chin. “Why do you needlessly torture yourself by way of such thoughts?”

“Why do you even care?” Ael retorted sourly, tempted to jerk her chin out of T’Jal’s hand.

“If, on even some remote level, I did not care about this situation, let me assure you that I would not be in this room now. If your claims, despite how you often present, were unbelievable to me, to at least one of my superiors, you would have already been returned to Starfleet.”

“One of your superiors?” Ael asked, allowing the combative expression on her face to give way to a softer countenance. “Do you mean the general or…?” A nod. “H-how do you know he doesn’t think poorly of me? Surely first impressions matter to someone of his caliber.”

“Under the majority of normal circumstances, yes, they would indeed influence his decisions and judgments of an individual greatly. This circumstance is a highly abnormal one. You are also quite young, something which can often have great influence on the decisions of some.”

“My age is the only thing keeping me safe, isn’t it?” Ael asked. “It’s OK if you say yes.”

“Though not the only reason, it is one of them,” said T’Jal honestly. Repressing a sigh, Ael nodded understandingly. “Had you been but a decade older, you would have faced interrogation, possibly even execution, residing down in the brig rather than standard crew quarters.”

“Being young comes with more advantages than I think I wanted to admit,” said Ael.

“Indeed so. It also does well in capturing the intrigue of someone who holds enormous power within the Romulan Empire as a whole.”

Ael’s eyes grew wide, breath catching in her throat to the point she could barely get out, “The general? Y-you really think he’ll give me another chance?” Plans began to form in Ael’s mind, plans and ideas on how to better prepare for another meeting if one were coming. If given adequate time to get her bearings, compose herself, hide the apprehension; Ael knew she could present as the fearless Romulan young lady she claimed to be.

“He will. I’ve personally spoken to him since the incident.” Unable to swallow down all the excitement, Ael wondered if T’Jal might tell her more. “The commander was far more upset than the general, who honestly showed more concern than anything. If you angered him in any way, he did not make it known to me. At some point, likely upon arrival to Romulus, he does wish to speak with you again.”

Releasing a huge breath, Ael allowed a great deal of worry to fall from her shoulders, bringing considerable relief. So thankful she hadn’t destroyed her chances at a possible new beginning, grateful to T’Jal for putting in a good word for her (she hoped he had!) Ael nearly leaped forward, wrapped her arms tightly around the major’s waist and hugged him tightly. The uncertainty of what could stem from such an action halted the hug before it could happen, Ael’s cheeks flushed pink as she side-stepped in sudden giddiness at the thought of not only making it to the homeworld in one piece but also not having fallen out of General Movar’s good graces.

“So now what happens?” Ael asked. “I know I can present myself so much better, I just don’t know where it is I should start.”

“Do you still have the desire to learn our language?”

“Yes, very much.”

“Then I would like you to deactivate your translator, we will begin your lesson now.”

 

 

*****

 

_Journal Entry - Day 5_

_The time just clicked over to midnight. At least, what the Romulans consider midnight. They refer to it as “first hour”; a Romulan day has twenty-five-point-five hours, something I think it will take some time to get used to._

_Anyway, I know I’ve skipped a day or two (or three) in writing down how things have been going, but after the day I bolted from the commander’s office like I’d been set alight; after I unsuccessfully tried to write about that incident, nothing really felt worth doing, other than remaining curled up on my bunk, sobbing like a baby. Honestly, I may need a new photo of the general. The one I have is in such poor shape from being cried on so much that it looks far more worn than it ever has before._

_At least I know, thanks to T’Jal that I haven’t ruined any and all chance of ever speaking to the general again. The day I meet him face-to-face; I’ll probably say “screw all consequence”, throw my arms around him tightly, thanking him profusely for how he saved my life, brought me through so much hardship. I’m sure T’Jal would scold me for daring to even think about It. The general, I’ve been told, is Noble Born, very wealthy, has high status within the Empire, rank aside. Manners mean everything to someone like him, probably. I want to show him better than he’s seen from me so far. Honestly, Journal, I want to ask him to take me in. Do you think that would be rude to suggest, to ask when I meet with him a second time?_

_I can already hear the major telling me not to even entertain the notion. If the general has any interest in fostering me, he’ll make his wishes exceptionally clear to the praetor and the council not that they’d be able to stop someone of his caliber from doing as he so chooses. Ultimately, the decision is not mine no matter how much I’d like it to be._

_Five days to go until everything becomes clearer than crystal._

_At least the major is helping me learn a few things before we reach ch’Rihan, including how to carry myself, the proper ways to posture, drilling mnhei’sahe into my head to the point I catch myself before daring to glare at him, the times I find myself frustrated in a lesson. Honor is as important to a Romulan as it would be to a Klingon, though for a Romulan, honor is a different breed of beast altogether. In either case, a fatal rebuke looms for those who neglect the seriousness of honor altogether. I’d rather not meet such an end._

_Other than how to carry one’s self, and how to maintain one’s honor, T’Jal spent a good deal of time instructing me on the bare basics of the Romulan language. Low Rihan being the main focus, though he did say he might slip in a little High Rihan, once we get closer to home. The latter is likely what the general will be speaking in, but it would not surprise me one bit if he’s well-versed in all three dialects spoken on the homeworld._

_With my language lessons; T’Jal decided I’m to start over from scratch, as though I know absolutely nothing. Stand-alone words, many of which I’m barely pronouncing correctly, aren’t going to do me much good in the long run. I’m annoyed at having to start over. I am also eternally grateful for his help._

_Syllabication; where in the world do I start with that? I don’t know. What I do know is that it forced me to go over the same word, repeatedly, for what felt like hours straight. T’Jal is determined I get everything more than satisfactory; he wants my pronunciation perfect. Apparently, Romulans take offense if their language is misspoken, especially if the wrong version of a phrase is used. There are five different ways to say thank you; I thought there were three! Hopefully, they cut a kid, someone who is still learning, a bit of slack._

_Accenting is interesting, too: If a word is shorter than four syllables, then the first syllable is always accented, but four or greater and the accent is placed on the third to last syllable. I have no idea why that is so important, but it is and it’s annoying. T’Jal assures me “repetition is the key”._

_One of the first things he did involved moving around my sparsely decorated room, placing a hand on various things, like table, chair, replicator, bed, bulkhead, you get the idea, saying the name of the item in Rihan, having me repeat it back over and over until he felt satisfied._

_I think the easiest word might have been replicator, which is khlenai. And the worst one had to be for table, which I doubt I can even spell. I think I practiced rolling those r’s so much that my tongue has a permanent kink in it!_

_All kidding and frustrations aside I am learning, and I wouldn’t be if not for T’Jal. I just wish that I didn’t have such a long way to go. _

_No matter how long it takes, I’ll get there. Eventually. For now, I should probably put my pen down, lower the lights, bid the photo of ‘Daddy’ good night, and get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be another long day of language lessons and study._

_*****_

**“You are not listening.”**

**“Yeah, I am, just- Slow down a little; I need more time to think of a response.”**

**The day had come early; it had only been six hours since I’d been writing in my journal. I guess T’Jal thought the earlier the start, the better. Apparently, he also believed in moving things along quickly because I was already hip-deep in learning sentence construction. Only, also apparently, I wasn’t quite “getting it”, which led to some major, no pun intended, frustrations, mostly from my end. It didn’t take a genius to tell T’Jal was becoming annoyed as well, likely by my continual display of teenage attitude, less by my inability to fluently speak the language.**

**“Five minutes is adequate time in which to articulate a response. Last time, I gave you ten because you claimed that I was _rushing_ you.”**

**“It feels like you are. I can’t respond like that,” I said, snapping my fingers in emphasis. That earned me a bit of a glare, a shake of his head.**

**“Your attitude is trying my patience,” he warned, and I responded by flopping back in my chair and folding my arms tightly across my chest. I suppose I could be better behaved but with another meeting with the general looming on the horizon, to say nothing of the forced audience with the praetor and council that was sure to be a given; to know I wouldn’t be able to present as perfectly as I wished, bothered me. A lot.**

**“ _I’m_ trying my patience,” I mumbled.**

**“Sit up; Romulans tend to not make a habit of slouching. Now, look at me instead of the table.”**

**Adjusting my position, biting my lower lip in order to keep back a snappish reply; maybe I’d been woken too early or maybe he really was explaining too fast, expecting me to catch on without enough time to properly digest the information being given. I kind of wanted to let him have it with a barrage of words I doubted I should know in any language but if I did, T’Jal would be certain to rise from his chair and leave the room. If that happened, the chances of him returning were slim ones at best.**

**“Humans are quick to admit defeat when they become frustrated,” said T’Jal once my gaze had focused on him. “Rihannsu do not.”**

**“I _am_ Rihan,” I countered smartly.**

**“I understand there will be moments of great frustration, Ael, but you do not have to turn those frustrations into anger to direct towards me or even at yourself. Now, do you wish to continue the lesson or shall I take my leave?”**

**“I want to keep going,” I said almost immediately. Strictness aside, T’Jal had been fairly patient with me on the endeavor to instruct me to learn the language, among other things. This couldn’t have been part of his required daily duties; I decided I really needed to be more thankful. “I’m sorry for losing my temper.”**

**“Say it in Rihan,” he said, and it quickly dawned on me that he wanted me to apologize in the language I had been attempting to learn for a while already. All I could do was try.**

**Deactivating my translator, adjusting my posture so I sat tall in my chair; after a solid two minutes of thinking, said, “Arhem usae vr’arham klaakh,” in my best Rihan accent. I think I sounded like I hailed from Dartha. However, I don’t think I was accenting some of the syllables properly.**

**“Nah’lai?” T’Jal wished for me to say it another way altogether, the more _formal_ version, I suppose I owed him that much. Now, how to say it… **

**“Thlhom veherr’a,” I said, attempting to get through the words without hesitating. I didn’t quite make it, the rolling of my r’s trilling more than they should.**

**“Rhuissa,” T’Jal praised a moment later. I think I hadn’t grinned quite that broad in a while.**

**From that point forward my lessons went well; I even kept the grumbling to a minimum. Well, I threw a PADD once. T’Jal hadn’t been impressed. He spent several hours after I’d hurled the thing at the furthest bulkhead, watching me take the device apart, instructing me on how to fix, and then put it back together. It turned on again but I think that might have been it, as far as usefulness goes. A tinkerer I am not!**

**I focused on my lessons day in and day out, over my meals, in the sonic shower, in my bed with the lights down low, tired eyes about to droop closed at any possible moment.**

**“Verb, object, subject,” I muttered, reading over notes from my lessons. “But I can still do subject, verb, object…” It really depended on a number of factors and circumstances, ones I thought I might be forgetting in my severely sleepy state. With a weary sigh, I placed my PADD of notes down at my side, allowing heavy lids to finally fall closed.**

**The next day saw more of the same, only this time T’Jal taught the different phrases, courtesies, and greetings I would need the most on the homeworld. At some point, I wouldn’t have my translator to lean on.**

**“Tell me how you would say thank you to an individual that you are equal to.”**

**“Hann’yyo,” I said instantly. Following it up with, “Hann’yyo rhissiuy,” tacking on a measure of extra politeness and courtesy to an otherwise normal, everyday phrase.**

**“Good. Now if you were speaking to someone above you in authority?”**

**“Khlinae arhem.”**

**“Though you will not need the next example for quite some time, how would you thank someone beneath you in rank or authority?”**

**“Um… Khnai’ra?”**

**He nodded. “Or you could use khnai’ru rhissiuy, providing you wished to apply some additional courtesy.”**

**“I’ll remember,” I promised.**

**Even though I already knew them, I was taken through phrases like jolan’tru and llaet’rrh, simple courtesies used on a daily basis, ending with: auethn qiuu mnek’nra,” a very formal way of asking if all was well, probably a phrase I could use on the Praetor, or even the general when I had my face-to-face.**

**I’d been working hard, preparing well; I still had much more to do until I could be called ready for what awaited me on the homeworld, a place quickly looming on the horizon, a planet we would reach within another two to three days.**

**I dove back into my lessons; I had to be perfect.**

 


	10. Chapter 10

It had dawned a beautifully clear, most would say a perfect day on Romulus. The sky, a moderate shade of ice-crystal blue, reminiscent of the great Rhynne River, held not a single wisp of cloud, the sun high in the heavens, shone brightly, the faintest hint of a cool, springtime breeze winding its way throughout the province, carrying the almost sickly-sweet scent of hialu flowers in bloom on the trees.

Citizens moved to-and-fro in the city, going about their business, others lingered and haggled in the marketplace; in an area that could easily be classified as suburban, children played out front on lawns of greenish-blue grass, laughing and giggling, chasing one another in rousing games of soldier before lunch. No matter who on the surface was doing what, it all carried a sense of normalcy, of everyday life. Virtually none had any idea of the unusual goings on at the capital, of the girl currently en route to the homeworld, hopeful of a chance at a new beginning, a chance most never received.

In the heart of the great capital city of Ra’tleihfi sat a grandiose building of circular design, one that sat high above all other buildings in the city, overlooking the capital and its inhabitants, seemingly keeping watch overall, or perhaps spying on them. Those within the Capitol could easily do both, the thoughts of what business might be conducted within its halls enough to set the easily squeamish on edge, though the truly loyal, most fiercely devoted had nothing to fear from those within its walls.

Around the great building, which also housed the chambers of the Imperial Senate, smaller, less impressive buildings jutted up from the base and spread back towards the horizon, lined up like a battalion of soldiers at attention who were intent on keeping heavily guarded secrets within, just that: heavily guarded. Around the perimeter of the Capitol flowed the mighty Fethraie River, an azure-colored body of water that wound its way around the structure in a graceful arc before opening up and spilling into the lavender-kissed waters of the well-known Apnex Sea that seemed to stretch past the horizon and straight into eternity.

Yes, it was a beautiful day indeed.

And still _very_ unusual.

Uniformed soldiers with serious expressions stood rigidly at attention as they lined the main pathways that led to the wrought-iron gates of the main entryway, keeping a vigilant watch on anyone who might happen near, closer than they should dare. Inside the Capitol, in the Great Hall, the Senate busily prepared for the scenario soon to unfold, likely an hour past the midday hour, though nothing was frantic about the preparations.

The members of the Continuing Committee slowly began to trickle into the room from either side of the main entrance, silently taking their seats for preliminary discussion revolving around the _“defector”_ , of a child named Ael. A bit of idle gossip began, ceasing when a Tal’shiar officer stepped into the room, content to linger near where he could hear the most conversation.

Over time, more Romulans entered the hall, filling it to near capacity. Everyone wore a stone-cold expression, projecting complete neutrality, absolutely no warmth. Long, flowing robes in a variety of dark and earthy colors adorned most of the Senate, those with the Committee wearing standard tunics in drab, slightly off-putting colors.

The Continuing Committee was presently all accounted for, eight Romulans – five males and three females – sat in a row of seats in a semi-circle directly in front of the praetor, who perched arrogantly on an elevated chair just behind.

His long, silken robes flowed around his body like water, colored cobalt-blue, reminiscent of a summer sky at the hour of midnight, not quite blackness though easily mistaken for it. The Praetor, a man named Tilek, sat almost absurdly tall on his “throne” as he gazed quietly at his surroundings, hands clasped loosely on his lap.

All chatter had ceased. No expression betrayed its owner’s thoughts. Not even the large stone carving of a majestic mogai bird, wings outstretched in a show of awe and strength, talons fiercely gripping the twin worlds – Romulus and Remus – in its mighty talons, had anything of importance to say.

A map of the Empire sat embedded in the center of the beautifully marbled flooring, the spot on which the new arrival would soon stand and speak, the validity of her claims judged. The majority of the room were certain to make their decisions upon their first glimpse of her if they hadn’t already. Skylights overhead allowed wispy golden beams of delicate sunlight to drift into the room, splashing it downward, at an angle across the map on the floor and on, of course, anyone who happened to be standing there.

The last two people (for the moment) to enter the room, were none other than guards in service of the Imperial Intelligence: the Tal’shiar. They barely acknowledged their comrade still lingering up the back. The two men stood rigidly at attention to either side of the chamber’s elaborate entrance, their emotionless expressions causing some to wonder if perhaps these were not real men, but elaborate stone carvings. Steel-grey uniforms with black over-the-shoulder belts adorned fit and muscular bodies, the soldiers’ reflexes swift, cunning sharp, their drive to find deception in everything and everyone surging through them with a relentless drive. 

Other officers, the Empire’s finest would arrive soon, their minds alert and focused as they waited to hear the words of this so-called _defector_. The new arrival would be judged harshly by most, her form gazed upon with critical, mistrusting eyes no matter what words she dared speak. This could all be nothing more than a very elaborate deception. They would find out soon enough.

 

 

…

 

Now the building in which the grand hall sat, also contained several other meeting chambers, as well as private offices for some of the world’s best military personnel and political figures, the majority of which had already long since made their way from their offices to convene in the Imperial Hall. However, two officers, who would soon be called to the unique proceedings still remained secluded away in their respective offices, one on the lower level and one on the uppermost, one filled with cautious optimism while the other overflowed with aggravation.

It was in a relatively small office on the bottom level of the building, claustrophobic according to some, where a blond-haired, blue-eyed Romulan-human hybrid angrily stared at a PADD in her left hand, eyes wrought with irritation as she consulted the information presented on the screen. Sela’s lips pursed together tightly in displeasure; she very nearly hurled the device across the room altogether, opting for slamming the thing down on her desktop instead.

The PADD in question contained a review of her most recent assignment, one which had ended in bitter defeat. _Again_. The last two hours had been spent reading and re-reading the report, fuming silently in regards to the things her superiors had to say in regards to the most recent failure. Simply saying they were displeased by her most recent performance was a gross understatement. One of them had threatened to demote her back to the rank of centurion. The very thought of it; humiliating!

“I did _not_ fail,” she mumbled sourly. Perhaps if command gave her a more competent crew, a decent vessel; there would be fewer setbacks at least, she was sure. Another irritated sigh; Sela swiveled her chair to face the large, circular window that sat behind her desk, its stunning views into the capital city doing nothing to placate her volatile mood. Through that window was a world she could only ever seem to fail, a world who, though she was born of it, always seemed to find fault no matter what she did or didn’t do.

A mission failure wasn’t entirely to blame on Sela’s surly mood; swiveling the chair around just enough to lift a PADD from the opposite side of her desk, Sela stared at the other cause of her malcontent, seeing the words on the screen for what felt like the hundredth time since this morning, yet seeing nothing at all.

The thing had been delivered to her office earlier that morning, her sullen brooding over her review interrupted by the door chime. Annoyed, she had bidden the person on the other side to enter, the praetor’s aide, a young man of no more than forty, sharply attired, striding into the room to slide a PADD across the desk. The man, Jorel, had fixed Sela with a serious expression that carried a hint of loathing behind his stare; if there was one thing most Romulans detested more than outsiders, it was hybrids.

“Your presence is requested,” Jorel had said sharply. It took every last ounce of inner strength not to attempt to shoo the offending aide away from her desk, out of her sight.

Quickly, she’d scanned the contents of the PADD, eyes widening in disbelief, then narrowing in irritation. “Who gave this to you?”

“Who do you think?” Jorel had snapped. “The praetor himself.” And then he’d turned and gone.

According to the file, the Aen v’Stelam, captained by Commander Alirra, had come across something very unusual indeed in its routine patrolling of the border of the Neutral Zone a ten-day past. Encrypted by way of old military terminology a recording hid, nestled in secret, waiting, _hoping_ to be found by anyone willing to listen. The file detailed the video recording in written form, verbatim, exactly as it had been transmitted. A mere child, begging to be allowed to return to a world she’d never seen, claiming it to be her home, insisting she was but a Romulan soul trapped in the body of a human.

Not a full day later and a Tal’shiar operative, a major, had arrived on the scene, another already having been apprised of the situation, the human child dropping a name she shouldn’t even know. Barely a day had gone by and the request had been granted, the girl stealthily taken from the federation’s clutches, delivered into the mighty talons of the Romulan Empire in the blink of an eye.

And now, a ten-day later, the Aen v’Stelam lazily drifted above the world in low orbit, its passenger due to arrive on-world within an hour, perhaps two.

“This _has_ to be someone’s idea of a joke,” said Sela though she knew it wasn’t. She placed the PADD down on her desk; continuing to read it would serve no purpose. Sela figured she had the text memorized by now, with how much she’d read the damn thing.

Already beginning to assemble in the Imperial Hall, aside from the praetor, imperial senate, and continuing committee, were the empire’s most elite, most seasoned, highly valued, implicitly trusted. Well, as implicitly as a Romulan knew how to give.

As for Sela? She was less than implicitly trusted by many, she certainly wasn’t one of the highest elite the empire had to offer up, either. While she had a sort of value, it wasn’t high enough to make most take notice. In fact, were it not for her father continually pulling strings left, right and center, securing her a command in the first place, long before most others would have ever achieved such a rank fairly; Sela had little doubts she would have already long-since been cast aside, out of the military’s ranks altogether, if not outright disposed of.

 _You are half human, after all,_ reminded a nagging, condescending voice in the back of Sela’s mind. _You’re so human your blood runs scarlet. As for why they request your presence for this ridiculous trial; it’s either a test, to see if you side with another red-blood, show her sympathy or I suppose it could be to embarrass you, you know, while the praetor, all the while stealing glances from this child to where ever it is you stand, reminds how unwanted humans are on this world, how desperately loathed beyond reason, how pathetically weak._

“It’s because of my human side, isn’t it, you old goat,” mumbled Sela to her desk. Anything that reminded Sela of her human side, her inherited weakness; anything that reminded her she wasn’t a pure-blood despite being born on the homeworld, now, nearly forty years past; all it served to do was anger her further.

Opening the top drawer of her desk, Sela swept the offending PADD with its offensive contents inside with a quick stroke from her hand, closing it firmly, locking it tight. She never wanted to see that horrible thing again! She only wished she didn’t have to go to this stupid gathering.

Releasing a sigh somewhere between weariness and annoyance, Sela stood, stretching out her muscles from having sat all morning behind a desk, stepping over to the window to look out upon the city.

“Have it your way, Praetor,” she said under her breath; one never knew if certain offices were plagued with listening devices, “I’ll be a part of your _precious_ gathering. But you will not see the human weakness within me that you always seem to be searching for. If I have my way, that girl will be on the receiving end of a disruptor blast by nightfall.”

 

 

…

 

On the uppermost level of the building, a much larger office sat, grander in design, the individual within much calmer regarding the current situation and the coming proceedings. General Movar was currently seated in a very comfortable chair behind a very large desk, a picture of his family at the upper-right corner watching over him as he worked, or in this case, sitting alone with his thoughts.

There was scarcely an hour to go; little time remaining until the human child who had bestowed upon herself the old, honorable name of Ael, arrived on world. Movar, like most who would shortly be convening in the Imperial Hall, had already made up his mind about her, though not in any such way most others in the hall would understand, but might have expected.  

From the time Movar had received notice regarding Ael’s claims, of her desire to defect, of the fact she knew him by name; after the arranged meeting across lightyears via desktop screen that saw Ael fleeing in startling disarray from Commander Alirra’s office, he had desired a face-to-face meeting, to fully understand why she felt as she did, gazed upon him in such an adoring, child-like manner.

Since those occurrences, Movar had spoken with Commander Alirra once more, four times with T’Jal who had taken to sending daily reports on his interactions with the young, seemingly humanoid girl. The major never broke the vow he’d made, never once told Movar, his superior about the fact Ael looked at him through a daughter’s loving gaze. T’Jal did, however, share what he knew of her past, of her future aspirations, desire to serve the Empire and one day bring honor to it. He also shared the girl’s desire to find a family, a group of people, even if just two, who would stand behind her, care for her the way a child was meant to be cared for, nurtured and trained until she grew into all she aspired to be.

Movar, upon hearing of Ael’s painfully troubled upbringing, found himself both concerned and angered. What treatment had she received, how _brutal_ had her parents been when they discovered their youngest child felt she belonged to a hated race, an enemy of the Federation? Did they know at all?

 _“She claims to eventually have been abandoned by her parents_ ,” one of T’Jal’s reports had said. _“Apparently, they left her for dead. However, one could consider it a “blessing in disguise” as the humans might say.”_

The major had gone on to describe how Ael had found her way to Stargazer, what he knew of it, and then how it came to be she found herself standing in the commander’s ready room aboard the Aen v’Stelam, including how she’d engaged in a tug-of-war with an angry centurion over her personal belongings, to the heartfelt way she spoke of a home she’d never seen, down to the sudden despondence when she came to know that all the years she’d put into learning the Romulan language had been for naught.

 _“It may be severely unorthodox to say aloud,”_ one of T’Jal’s reports went on to say, _“but_ _General, I believe her claims as truth. Though our organization makes a habit out of finding the deception we so seek, in every individual in whom we think it resides; I am unable to find such a thing, deception, in her.”_

 _“She is persistent,”_ documented another report. _“Though she frustrates easily, her desire to please the Empire, to appear more Romulan in nature is evident. She will learn quickly.”_

And then there was the report that had come shortly after Ael had fled from Alirra’s office, one line standing out above the rest, one Movar had found himself reading time and time again. _“What seems to have damaged her spirit the most, was the fear she had somehow disappointed you.”_

So not only did this young one know him by name, fearing his disappointment in her, to the point she’d done little more than reside on her bunk for almost two days after the incident… Why would his opinion of her matter so greatly? Curious indeed,

A stubborn, strong-willed girl however, a little too brazen some might say, one who burned with the passionate fires of a Romulan, determined to succeed despite what others might think, and soon, others would have much more to think upon, to judge Ael as she stood in the Imperial Hall, awaiting her fate.

Most of the ones who would be present at the gathering, from official, to soldier, to agent, to the praetor himself were likely already assembled, scattered about the chamber in little groups, quietly discussing their predictions of the coming session. The majority were likely to speak of condemning her to the cruel, unforgiving streets of the city, others, likely, attempting to steer the vote toward a quick, quiet execution. Movar wasn’t about to allow either to come to pass. Given the things he’d already been told in the many reports the major had made over the past ten-day, Movar considered Ael to be worth what some might call a great risk.

Like those around him, once Ael stepped inside the chamber, he would be watching her intently, appraising her words, weighing them carefully. If there was the slightest chance she might be lying, projecting a false character, he would surely see it. T’Jal, likely, already would have days ago. If the major’s assessment of Ael had been incorrect, if she showed even the smallest hint that all she’d said, claimed to be was but a lie; Movar knew his opinion of her would change drastically and not for the better.

 _I highly doubt that will happen_ , he thought, rising from his chair to stand at the large window behind his desk, staring out into the city that the girl named Ael considered her home. Oh, she was going to find Romulus a splendid world full of many things to explore and discover, providing she had at least one person to stand behind her as she grew and matured into all that she aspired to be.

And she deserved the chance.

With one last look at the cityscape, Movar turned from the window, striding across the room, through his office door with purpose in his steps. It was time to convene with the others.

Time for a certain young lady to find her way home.

 

*****

 

**Hundreds of butterflies fluttered and flapped in my belly, punctuating my nervousness by way of a slightly queasy feeling. I hoped yesterday’s dinner, a bowl of rich and hearty osilh stew, didn’t make a sudden reappearance on the floor. A full mind, nervous yet excited, a heart beating a little too fast; sitting still proved to be an impossible task.**

**At the start of the morning, I had still been several hours away from home, and I’d been too nervous to bother with breakfast, showering, dressing, and shakily packing my belongings back into my satchel, anxiously pacing my quarters until T’Jal had come by to collect me. Side-by-side, me as quiet as anything, we made our way down to the conference room, my eyes instantly trained on a speck in the far distance through the large windows, certain I could see home.**

**T’Jal wanted to spend the next hour or two discussing what was to come, drilling last-minute reminders of a little of everything I’d learned the past ten-day into my head. I, however, felt pacing behind the table, in front of the windows to be the best idea of all time, a hobby soon interrupted by way of T’Jal’s hand on my shoulder. Steps halted, I gazed up. T’Jal’s stare told me to cool it. Restless pacing wasn’t on the agenda.**

**“Sit,” said T’Jal, motioning toward one of the uncomfortable-looking chairs surrounding the long oval table.**

**Annoyed, I obeyed. Sliding into the closest chair, turning it toward the window, I began to fidget, annoying a certain major, further. “Do you seriously expect me to stay still?” I asked incredulously. A warning glance reminded me to watch my tone. “Sorry. It’s desperately difficult to stay still right now.”**

**“That fact is glaringly obvious,” said T’Jal, lifting a PADD from the table, scanning its contents briefly before setting it down. “Your anxiousness is nearly palpable. Take the necessary steps to calm yourself, and then we must go over what you have been taught over the last week.”**

**_Calm down_ ** **, I almost said with a laugh, _you’re joking, yes?_ But I didn’t. The butterflies felt like they were growing in number. I’d never been the best at calming or soothing myself, and I wasn’t sure about removing the photo of the general from the pages of my journal, an item still in my satchel, talking to it, asking what I should do. True, T’Jal already knew my little secret, regarding how I looked at General Movar, but that didn’t mean I could suddenly start talking to a photo of the man right in front of him.**

**Standing, making my way to the window I stood quietly, hands clasped behind my back, staring through the window almost contemplatively like a Vulcan might do. Inside, I was still a nervous wreck-and-a-half. Closing my eyes, breathing deep; like I used to do in times of great distress, I called forth an image of the general in my mind, tipping my head a little to the right, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips when I could hear his voice, loud and clear almost as if he were beside me.**

**_How in the Elements names do I calm down? This vessel will arrive at ch’Rihan in a little over an hour, at which point I’ll head down to the surface to meet with, well, the praetor, probably. Within an hour or two of finally setting my feet upon Romulan soil, my fate will be decided. It’s simple: I’ll either be allowed to stay or they’ll decide I’m not worth the bother and have me executed, probably right there in the Senate chamber. I just – I don’t know what to do._ **

**I’m pretty sure T’Jal would think it all a bit weird, if he could see my thoughts, hear me talking to the general as though he stood beside me, reassuring hand on my shoulder. He _was_ staring at me, though, probably waiting for my sanity to further slip, for me to decide pacing was once again the best idea in the world. **

**Stance remaining tall, hands still clasped behind my back; I quietly continued my conversation.**

**_Do not doubt yourself, Ael, not for a single moment. Stand tall, speak with confidence; allow the passion for your home, for your people to come through as you stand in that great hall. Believe you are worthy; allow them to see it. Remember: I will be beside you every step of the journey. My strength is yours._ **

**Hearing what I wanted, what I think I _needed_ to hear in the voice of my “daddy” brought considerable comfort, a slightly eased mind, fewer butterflies in my middle. Would he be there to greet me on arrival to the homeworld; would he be inside the Imperial Hall, watching my meeting with the praetor, silently judging me like the rest of the world? Had he already made up his mind about me days ago?**

**As I stood there, wondering, T’Jal called out; apparently, I’d started fidgeting again. “It is time to place your focus on other things,” he said seriously. Fidgeting, pacing; neither was going to help.**

**“Could we practice my language skills? For some reason, I feel like I’m starting to forget most of what I’ve learned.”**

**“It would indeed be beneficial for you to go over a few things,” said T’Jal. “It is also unlikely you are forgetting what you have learned. Your apprehension regarding what is to come, once we reach the homeworld is likely consuming your mind, making it difficult to think. Calm yourself; compose your thoughts.”**

**Easier said than done. A few minutes of deep breathing later, lifting my head from where it had been resting on folded arms on the table, I said, “OK, I think I’m ready. Can I show you how I plan to greet the praetor? I think I practiced most of the night.” Even if everything else went horribly wrong, I wanted to at least make a good first impression with the ruler of the empire. Well, if such a thing was even possible for someone like me.**

**“Proceed.”**

**Getting to my feet, attempting to radiate confidence despite my fear; head up, eyes ahead, I walked around the table, looked T’Jal in the eye as if it were the praetor himself, bowing deeply in a gesture of respectful reverence and said, “Fvillhu, auethn qiuu mnek’nra?”**

**After the phrases that had been so diligently studied tumbled from my tongue, T’Jal said nothing. Unblinking, he stared at me without a hint of expression anywhere on his face not that he ever showed terribly much, to begin with. Staring at me in silence usually meant I’d done something wrong.**

**“Anyway,” I continued worriedly, “After I opened with that, I was going to activate my translator; I know I’ll have to lean on it a lot during the main discussion. Before departing, I was going to say, Fvillhu, khlinae arhem. Thei’khaiell ssuin hw’aenevha.” I finished up with yet another low bow and then clasped my hands in front of me, waiting for T’Jal to tell me where I’d gone wrong. He was still staring at me; I’m not even sure the man had blinked during the few minutes I’d been presenting.**

**“Tell me: Were you aware of your stance, as you were moving forwards?” T’Jal finally said.**

**I tipped my head to the side, furrowing my brow, confused. “Yes,” I started slowly, “what did you notice that I didn’t?” Head up, eyes forward, attempting to display overwhelming confidence; what could have been wrong?**

**“Your stance, mostly, is acceptable; it would have been better had your fists not been tightly clenched at your sides.”**

**“They – oh?” They were still clenched. I loosened them and flushed. “Did I at least look confident?”**

**“Partly. Your expression said mostly one thing, your eyes said another altogether. They betrayed you: apprehension, fear; it would have been clearly displayed for all to see.”**

**Nearly headbutting the bulkhead in frustration, I said, “Is that it, then? Apparently, masking emotions isn’t my strong suit.”**

**“You are trying too hard,” said T’Jal matter-of-factly. “Learning to present in a certain manner often takes a good deal of training, years, in many cases. When you speak from within rather than desperately searching for words you think others want to hear, you tend to present much more confident.”**

**Speak from the heart; cliché but true. The times I wracked my brain, feverishly groping for the perfect words to form the perfect sentence; it never seemed to end very well. Everyone on the surface with whom I would meet likely expected to see, at the very least, mild apprehension. Attempting to present as fearless might make them think everything was only an act. Well, as long as showing how I really felt, alongside feeling Romulan that is, wouldn’t get me shot…**

**“OK,” I said at last. “Was the rest of what I did all right or…?”**

**“When you saw fit to bow; while great respect will be expected, there is no reason to bow quite so deeply. You are not a slave, bowing before her Master.”**

**“How’s this?” Instead of bowing almost down to my toes, I nodded my head deeply, chin to chest, leaving it down for a count of two before raising my eyes.**

**“That will do. Now, as for what you intend to say,” said T’Jal, no doubt working up a lengthy critique. “Do not speak first; such a thing will be seen as a sign of extreme disrespect. There is also no need to begin your meeting with, as you would say, “small talk.” It will be frowned upon. However,” he said, likely after he had caught sight of my crestfallen expression, “You would do well to thank him for the privilege of being allowed to stand before him.”**

**“So the last part is okay, then?”**

**“To a point, there is no need to say anything more than thank you. Regarding your pronunciation…”**

**Annoyed, trying not to show it, I stood still and listened, committing to memory everything T’Jal said. Most of what I’d just said to him had come from a PADD that contained various phrases and courtesies to study, none of which actually seemed to be appropriate for his highness the praetor. The next half hour was spent continually repeating various phrases back to T’Jal who refused to let me rest until he felt I could speak well-enough without possibly offending someone by mispronouncing a single syllable.**

**Finally, I slid into a chair at the table and sighed, grateful for a moment’s rest. Turning to glance out the window, I smiled to myself; the dot that had once been in the very far distance now seemed closer. Mind focused on what was to come, T’Jal busily scrutinizing a PADD; I took to writing in my journal, though it quickly turned to idly doodling instead. I think it might have been a cat, the thing I’d been lazily sketching.**

**Time began to pass ridiculously slowly, patience for sitting still wearing thin. I began to brush invisible lint from my hunter green and black patterned tunic, tending to my lint-free ivory colored trousers, next. Just when I thought T’Jal was about to tell me, for the hundredth time in an hour to sit still, he stood, gaze transfixed on something through the window.**

**It didn’t take a genius to know what he saw: Romulus. Shakily, trembling with excitement, joy, I stood and turned. Instantly, there were tears, the happiest ones I think I’ve ever shed. Pressing my hands tightly against the glass, happy, incoherent mumbling bubbled out.**

**“Home,” I said, unable to tear my eyes away from the ball of land and water. “I never thought I would see it.” All at once I began to babble excitedly, happily, my old manner of speaking Romulan intermingling with what I’d been taught over the last ten-day. Even though everything sounded disjointed and strange, I couldn’t stop, the words tumbling out of my mouth a mile a minute.**

**T’Jal staring at me with a hint of amusement at the corners of his mouth is what stopped me just shy of bouncing up and down like an excited child. Had it been my child-like behavior that he’d found funny or perhaps something else altogether? Maybe it had something to do with the way I’d spoken.**

**“What?” I asked, barely able to turn my attention to him, continuing to watch our approach to Romulus out of the corner of my eye. “Did I say something funny or…?”**

**“In part,” said T’Jal, elaborating somewhat when he added, “for a moment, you were babbling almost incoherently about socks.”**

**I – what? Flushing red, I laughed. I couldn’t help it. The laughter, too, was brought on by overwhelming joy at the prospect of finally being home. As long as I got it all out right here rather than the Imperial Hall, I’d be fine. T’Jal agreed, a little reluctantly; I think my sudden bounciness was annoying him a bit.**

**“Sorry,” I said after another round of rambling happily at the planet through the window. “I babble when I’m really happy, and this is one of the few times I’ve ever been so... Sorry if I’m bothering you.”**

**“Though I am somewhat irritated,” T’Jal admitted, “It is nothing that I cannot handle. I would much rather you expend your energies here, babbling incoherently at the window than for such to happen on the surface.” And then he added, “The great joy that lights your eyes upon seeing home for the first time; keep it close, allow it to show through when you speak your peace to the praetor.”**

**Be confident, stay strong, show a hint of joy, display pride and honor for the world I’d chosen to call home. Oh, and don’t misspeak a single word. Check! Remembering was one thing, putting it all into action was another. Still, I had to. The closer we moved to home, the more hyper-aware of my surroundings I became. Every beat of my heart echoed loudly in my ears, the chirp of T’Jal’s communicator reminded me of a bird perched just outside my bedroom window, incessantly twittering, forcing me out of bed. Even the way he spoke into his device seemed louder than normal or necessary. Boot falls alongside footfalls as we headed through the conference room doors and down to the lift at the end of the hall; both seemed extra loud, too.**

**I shook my head hard to clear it, to bring reality back into focus. The world around me didn’t seem quite as loud once we stepped from the lift. I maintained some measure of sanity until we reached the transporter room; all at once, I began violently trembling, my body buzzing with nervous energy. I wiped sweaty palms on my pants, taking in deep, ragged, almost too-quick breaths. Just when I thought I might be about to hyperventilate, T’Jal calmed me by way of a hand on my shoulder.**

**“Deep breaths,” he said. “Focus your thoughts, do not allow your anxieties to rule your state of being. Remember: You are Romulan; strong, confident, filled with honor for your empire. Hold tight to those things, not your fear of what may not happen.”**

**With what felt like great effort, I pushed the anxiety down, thanking T’Jal, someone who had become a mentor over the past week, for helping me stay the course. I was also thankful he would be the one accompanying me down to the surface over some random Romulan guard who likely wouldn’t care one way or the other about shoving me along, pointing a pistol at my head, or plain old shooting me if I annoyed him just enough.**

**“Elements,” I began, stepping up onto the transporter pad, “I’m really glad you’re the one accompanying me down. “If it were anyone else; I’d lose my sanity if I had the muzzle of a disruptor shoved into my spine, a rough word, shoves forcing me along.”**

**“Indeed,” said T’Jal simply. “However, while you can rest easy in the assurance I will not be unnecessarily rough in escorting you, do remember that, if necessary, I will coerce you to move forward.”**

**I nodded in understanding, facing forward when a sea of brilliant green, shimmering light rose up to engulf me from all sides, taking me apart a molecule at a time, piecing me together again on the surface of my destiny.**

**The glittering light fell away in a blink; I’d been rematerialized in what I could only guess to be the Capitol building in the heart of the main city on Romulus, likely in close proximity to the Imperial Hall and Senate chambers. Vaulted ceilings rose high above my head, floors that looked to be made of polished marble stone shone beneath my feet. Directly ahead of my field of vision sat a set of double doors, mahogany red; without a doubt, they lead to my fate.**

**A quick surveying of my immediate surroundings was all I had time for, the double doors that bore the crest of the empire in gold, swinging wide, a booming voice from somewhere inside that sounded cold, callous beyond reason demanded, “Come forth, so that we may see, may _judge_ the one who claims to have the spirit of a Romulan within. Let us see if she will be granted the wish of a life began anew.”**

**With one last, deep breath, a quick glance at T’Jal whose stare reminded me to speak from within, to show my passion, my honor for my home, I straightened my stance, lifted my head, put my gaze forward and strode into the hall.**


	11. Chapter 11

Swallowing down the last of her self-doubt Ael strode into the Imperial Hall, posture tall, steps confident, determined no one dare glimpse even a hint of the apprehension still lodged firmly in her middle. T’Jal followed directly behind, right on Ael’s heels, veering away as she drew closer to where she must stand, to linger among the others.

Ael had yet to notice the sudden lack of support at her back, working diligently to maintain an air of confident poise lest anyone see her sweat. On her walk from entryway to stand before the praetor, Ael couldn’t help but turn her head a bit, this way and that, drinking in the sight of the beautifully immense chambers, awe noticeably overcoming her expression when she saw the mogai bird hanging just overhead, huge wings outstretched, head down, massive beak open, talons poised to strike though they already held twin worlds secure.

The sight of the stone carving filled Ael with pride, reverence; it represented her, now, too, or so she felt, Golden sunlight fell through the skylight overhead, like mist; Ael had a feeling that patch of sunlight might be the only warmth in the entirety of the Imperial Hall. A glance to the right, and then the left, told she might be right. All fifteen members of the Imperial Senate sat on the left side of the room, staring, some stoically, some hatefully, right at her.

 _This is not a sight-seeing tour_ , Ael imagined T’Jal saying. Silently, she wondered why he’d yet to give her a bit a push from behind, coercing her to move on ahead instead of meandering along like it was midday stroll through town.

 _He’s right_ , Ael thought. _It’s just insanely difficult not to want to peer around at everything. Maybe one more, little peek…_

Eyes darted left once more, and then Ael’s breath caught in her throat, gaze landing upon a familiar person, one who had given her great strength so many times before in her past. Immediately, Ael felt her spirits lift. She was going to lean on his strength. The adversity around her felt overwhelmingly strong, but as long as Movar stood nearby, Ael knew she would have the ability to soldier on ahead.

At last, after what felt like an eternity and a half Ael came to stand in the center of the room, bathed in the misty sunlight from the overhead skylight. For some reason, it didn’t feel as warm as expected. Heart pounding, Ael stared straight ahead, slowly lifting her gaze to focus on the praetor, a man seated high above on his would-be throne, staring down his nose at her. The praetor’s face was hard, unforgiving; Ael wondered if he might just be made of the same stone as the mogai overhead.

The members of the Continuing Committee, situated in front in a semi-circle behind a long, curved table fixed Ael with steely stares, attempting to discern what it might take in order for the small, frail-looking human child in their midst to turn tail and run from the hall in tears.

Ael _was_ small, young, likely incredibly _naïve_ , what business did such a pitiful excuse for a human let alone Romulan, think she had here, in this place of all places?

 _They’re trying to intimidate me,_ Ael silently thought, momentarily struggling to keep her expression neutral. _T’Jal warned me this would probably happen. Well, the jokes on them today. Daddy is right behind me; his strength will not allow me to fail in my task. To succumb to defeat in front of so many, people who are looking for deception, hope to see me fail, to give them a reason to put me on the muzzle-end of a disruptor… No._

Ael allowed a deep breath in through her nose, parting her lips ever so slightly to release it back out. _Everyone has likely made their minds up already. But maybe I can change someones. Remember what T’Jal said: Speak from within, show your passion for the world you consider to be your home. Do not over-think._

Silence wove its way around the room, uncomfortably so for Ael. One minute, then two, and then five had gone by; when did this whole affair suddenly become a staring contest? Would the praetor ever speak? Another minute more and the praetor shifted position in his chair, moving a single arm to casually balance it on one of the armrests. Ael’s foot shifted a bit nervously, hands moving from neatly clasped in front of her person, to almost ramrod straight, down at her sides. Ael saw the praetor’s mouth twitch slightly, almost as if, for one brief moment, he’d been mildly amused because she’d lost focus.

At long last a small, non-genuine smile formed on the praetor’s lips, the somewhat sinister expression nearly causing Ael to step back. “Welcome to Romulus,” said the praetor, his voice, deeply booming, projecting clearly throughout the chamber.

Even though Ael had spent many hours practicing what she would say, how she’d behave in the presence of the praetor, the one ultimately responsible for deciding her fate, Ael couldn’t bring herself to form the words she’d long-since committed to memory. Instead, all she managed to do was offer a deep, respectful nod of the head, after which Tilek gave no sign that it had been accepted, the (false) smile gone from his face.

“Who stands before us today? A young, seemingly insignificant human child who _thinks_ she is somehow of our people.” Tilek’s tone was cruel, cutting. Ael had to struggle not to glare at him.

Lifting her chin, not too high to insinuate defiance or disrespect, Ael said, “It’s not a question of thinking it, Praetor, but of knowing it. I _know_ I am Rihan, nothing anyone says will convince me I’m not.” _Was that too defensive?_ Ael thought to herself, momentarily inviting internal panic. _I know T’Jal said not to be shy about showing my passion and all…_

The Praetor said nothing for several moments, raising a single brow in what Ael assumed to be annoyance. It was impossible to read him. “As brazen as I have heard,” Tilek commented. “Though that is not always the wisest trait to show.”

 _The commander said that, T’Jal said that_ , Ael thought, unable to resist the urge to wipe severely sweaty palms on her pants. Given the way the praetor had spoken, Ael couldn’t tell if she’d been threatened or had received a childish scolding. Honestly, Ael considered the latter to be more humiliating than the former.

“We have all heard the tale regarding why you have come,” said Tilek, his booming voice startling Ael to the point she jumped. “Perhaps you would care to enlighten us again, providing further details.”

 _Further details?_ Ael worriedly wondered. What details could those be? It wasn’t as if she had some long-winded story to tell, a way to keep everyone on the edge of their seats.

“Yes, do tell us, we are most eager to hear the story told again, from your mouth rather than words on a PADD,” said a raven-haired committee member whose dark brown eyes bore mistrustfully into Ael’s.

 _You’re eager to catch me in a lie, is what you are_ , Ael nearly scoffed aloud. Gathering her courage, Ael said, “To be honest, Praetor, I’m not sure what other details you may mean. As I told Commander Alirra, when I first met with her upon boarding her ship, there’s no elaborate story to tell, only a simple one. And while I know my request to make a new life on Romulus is unusual to many, I do hope I will be given a chance to prove myself as Rihan as anyone else here.”

A grey-haired, grey-eyed committee member said next, “Though your tale may be of simplicity, your request indeed is not.”

“Tell us why you have come,” said the praetor again, a hint of insistence in his voice. “Tell us all, simply or otherwise why it is that you, a frail human child stands in this room. Why is it you think you should be allowed to reside here, be a part of our great empire?”

Forcing a deep, calming breath, Ael reminded herself to speak from within and said, “Biologically, I’m human, I am unable to deny it, and if one slashes me with their Honor Blade, the blood will flow scarlet rather than jade. Physically, no, nothing about me screams I am of your people, yet something in my soul cries out that I am.”

No reaction came, everyone that Ael could see, remaining still as stone.

“From a very young age, I knew something about me was “off”, both physically as well as spiritually. Of course, at such a young age I wasn’t able to understand why I felt the way I did, why, whenever I gazed into the mirror, I expected to see a different reflection. My spirit felt in constant agony; I didn’t seem to fit in with the world around me. My life revolved around hatred and abuse, all directed at me; maybe the humans could all see what I couldn’t, what made me so different, and they abhorred it.”

Ael went on to describe the evening when she had been eight years old, how she’d stumbled across a PADD, how when she’d first seen the image of the Romulan woman, something within cried out in utter delight, realization.

“That night, everything within me yelled, fiercely: This is what you are! _Embrace it_! Since that moment, I have. Researching the Romulan people, the homeworld, our history as far back as the Sundering; I even tried to teach myself the language, admittedly going about it the wrong way, learning improperly, though I’ve since begun learning it the proper way.”

Still, the stone-cold silence remained. How much of her life story did they want? _Everything_ , Ael thought, continuing on. “Every night on Earth, my gaze would be riveted to the stars, stars that felt foreign. They weren’t my stars; they were human ones. Only a single moon shone above, its light often pale, lackluster. It reminded me, time and time again that I was trapped, on an alien world where I wasn’t wanted. There were nights when I stood there, out in the open, a soft breeze winding its way around my body, seemingly whispering in my ear to not give up, find my way home, to Romulus, at any cost.”

“One day,” Ael continued, “I hope to be able to earn the right, the privilege to serve this great empire, bring honor to it in anyway that I can. First and foremost, something else I’m sure you’ve heard; all I want is to find a family, to belong somewhere, given a chance to prove I can be more than what I am, what humans have made me.”

“That is quite the tale,” said the grey-haired committee member, her voice saccharine sweet, mocking. “How very _touching_.”

 _How dare you mock me_! Ael longed to shout. Were they looking for her to defend her claims? Ael didn’t know what to do and it bothered her greatly. “It would make for a great story, somewhere, I’m sure,” said Ael carefully. “Here, though, it’s fact.” One or two committee members quirked their brows. “My passion for this world and its people runs deep, I’d prove it now if there was a way to, but shouldn’t my standing right here be enough? At least a little? All I want, Praetor, is a chance to prove my worth, to not only reside on this world but worthy enough, one day, to serve it.”

“Would you die for this world?” The praetor demanded.

“Yes,” said Ael without hesitation, expression serious. Lifting her chin higher, enough some might consider it a challenge, Ael dared anyone to call her a liar.

“Feeling as you do, do you believe you will be accepted with open arms? That believing you are one thing, when biologically another, will make those of this world blindly accept you into the fold?”

“That, Praetor, is not something I ever expected,” said Ael honestly. “To think I would be blindly accepted upon arrival, joyously welcomed, implicitly trusted; I’m not stupid. Trust, what comes of it, is earned over time. It should never be blindly handed to another, carelessly.”

“To earn the even marginal trust of some of the people, you will have to work very hard indeed; it is not a task that many outsiders can hope to accomplish. Those who have come before you and tried earned excruciatingly little, the years they chose to call this world home. All, at one point or another, turned on it as well.”

“I will not!” Ael said loudly. “I’ll gladly make a Blood-Oath right here, swear on the names of the Elements, even say a certain word beginning with “H” that no one would dare say without meaning it from the very depths of their soul.”

One of the committee members idly toyed with a cobalt-blue pendant around her neck. “Determination is an admirable quality. However, as has been said, every human who has ever come to Romulus, seeking defection has ultimately turned on the world they pledged to serve and defend with their very lives. Trust eventually led to betrayal.”

“They were merely masquerading as something they were not,” said Ael. “They wanted to be a part of the stronger force in the Alpha Quadrant, they found the strict moral code that governs Romulan society, appealing, somehow comforting. Over time, no doubt, it grew to be much more than they could handle, sending them fleeing back to the Federation in fear, tail tucked between their legs like an abused _fvai_ cast out in the cold. None of them claimed to be Romulan, none of them felt the tugging in their soul to come home; they were all humans who wanted to see what life was like outside of Starfleet. Really, they were cowards who didn’t deserve to wear a soldier’s uniform, to walk the streets of the city.”

“I do have to ask,” Ael continued, suddenly feeling braver, “how is it that I can be labeled a defector when there is no love lost between me and Starfleet? I’ve never been loyal to them and I certainly wouldn’t give my life for their cause. I have a Romulan’s fiery passion in my blood, it burns with great reverence for what I consider to be my home and people; I would die defending it. Haerhe.”

Deafening silence erupted. Ael waited, heart pounding, for something to happen, for someone to speak. Had she gone too far? Were guards about to surge forward, seizing her roughly, dragging her away to an untimely end? Or had she managed to convince even one person in the room that she was worth taking a bit of a risk on?

“Bold words indeed,” said the praetor. “How can we be certain you are not a spy, sent here to gain our pity, manipulate us into handing down trust, allowing you slip into society unnoticed, committing acts of sabotage whenever you are given the chance?”

Ael couldn’t help the disdainful noise she made. It was absurd! “A fifteen-year-old spy,” Ael deadpanned. “ _Really_? Look, I know I’m not a pure-blood but does the word “haerhe” mean nothing coming from me? I take honor, mnhei’sahe extremely seriously. It’s degrading enough that everyone keeps referring to me as a human, that loathsome species, but to continually make it seem like I am here to spy and sabotage? I would never! You may as well shoot me yourself if you truly believe spying on you is all I’m good for!”

After Ael’s tirade, the praetor’s expression grew dark. Ael blinked hard around the tears in her eyes, biting back the urge to shiver; the golden beam of light raining down on her had gone, obscured by cloud cover. Eerily fitting. Tensing, Ael waited to hear the praetor yell out, “Seize her!” Thankfully, such an order failed to come.

A smirk suddenly lit the praetor’s face, his stare conveying more than the hateful mistrust she’d been seeing for the better part of the past half hour. Ael hoped he felt, at least a little, impressed with her boldness.

“You are filled with a good deal of boldness and passion, perhaps too much of the former for your own good. And perhaps,” Tilek leaned forwards in his chair. “Perhaps I believe you.”

 _I doubt you do at all_ , thought Ael, pasting on a grateful countenance, bowing her head in respect. “I am grateful. No matter what it takes, I will work hard to prove to everyone on this world that I belong here.”

The words had barely escaped before a disdainful snort traveled up from the back of the room to reach Ael’s ears. Inwardly, Ael bristled. It took every ounce of strength not to turn around, locate the source of the sound, and then offer it a vulgar gesture.

Commander Sela stood among a cluster of soldiers, arms folded loosely, expression both irritated and bored. Blue eyes colder than ice caps on the sea in winter, Sela glared daggers into Ael’s back. Who in their right mind could bring themselves to believe this girl’s ridiculous claims?

“It seems someone would rather I not get a chance,” said Ael. “But please, my praetor, I ask you to consider the thoughts of the majority over the ones of someone who snorts like a common farm animal.”

The instant the words were out, Sela’s jaw hung slack in shock. That insolent little whelp! How _dare_ she make her look the fool in front of everyone!

Ael considered it a slight victory when the praetor, after casting a glance up toward the back of the room, offered up a hint of laughter. He’d never especially cared for that hybrid. “My, you are bold indeed.” Leaning back, clasping his hands to rest on his middle, Tilek considered everything Ael had said. Brazen to a fault, strong-willed, apparently loyal; she certainly had what could be considered passion, whether or not it truly was the Romulan variety would remain to be seen.

“You may be granted the honor and privilege of living on this world, young one, but you will be observed with great vigilance. If there is ever the slightest _hint_ of disloyalty…”

 _I’ll never be seen or heard from again, I got it_. “My loyalty is only to the Empire, Praetor, and that loyalty is steadfast and sure. For that, I have nothing to fear.”

One minute went by and then two, Ael’s stare unwavering, gaze locked with the most powerful man on the surface of Romulus. On the third minute, the older Romulan awarded the girl a partial (still not quite sincere) smile, calling for her earlier escort, T’Jal, to come forward.

“Major, escort this small one from the room while we deliberate.”

“At once, Praetor,” he said, a quick glance reminding Ael to offer her practiced courtesies before leaving. Deactivating her translator, Ael thanked the praetor in the Romulan tongue, bowing as T’Jal had once shown her.

The smallest, most subtle nod came in reply; Ael felt ecstatic but didn’t dare show it, turning towards the door and striding forwards a fraction slower than she would have liked, the past forty minutes had been more than a little exhausting.

Ael’s tired gaze swept around the hall as she moved forward, eyes scanning the faces of everyone who sat or stood in silence, watching, judging. Ael’s pace suddenly turned sluggish; T’Jal forced to administer a moderate shove from behind, softly whispering for her steps to quicken.

Two Romulans, in particular, caught her attention, one of them Sela, staring threateningly. Just the sight of those cold, hate-filled eyes was enough to convince Ael that she had been the one to disdainfully snort. Ael lifted her chin just enough to show her defiance against it.

 _Yeah, like a hybrid has a snowball's chance in hell of deciding my fate,_ Ael thought. And then her gaze moved down and stopped, landing on Movar. Ael pulled up short, T’Jal nearly stepping on her heels. A harsh reprimand, another push to move halted only because of who Ael happened to be staring at.

Gaze locked in, Ael offered all the respect, all the reverence possible she could through her stare, mouthing the words, “thank you”. And then she bowed her head, much deeper than she had for the praetor, showing her admiration for the Romulan general who had always been her saving grace.

A return head nod acknowledged the offered respect; Ael felt ready to bounce up and down like an excited child. A firm nudge from behind signaled her to move forward, T’Jal telling Ael to not stop again. Obeying, Ael turned away from Movar and resumed her walk, heading past the guards, out through the large double doors, which promptly closed behind her.

Once they had, all hell broke loose.

 

*****

 

It seemed that everyone in the room had begun speaking at once, giving the air of uncontrolled chaos in the chamber. Clearly understanding the words, phrases being said or yelled, proved difficult even if one were standing directly in front of the person speaking. In the far corner, a group of four engaged in a heated argument, one voice louder than the others in the grouping.

“How can anyone be foolish enough to believe her?” rang out Sela’s strident voice. “It’s absurd the entire Senate, the committee; it’s ridiculous that this many people had to convene in order to decide her fate, one which should be glaringly obvious.”

Even though Sela’s voice carried across the room, no one of real importance bothered to listen, no one except a largely-built soldier, a commander-general by the name of Avarik. Personally, he couldn’t believe he was agreeing with Sela at all.

“I am in agreement,” said Avarik. “I do not care what that child claims nor what she believes. I do not trust her now, nor will I ever. Not even if she lived on this world until she reached the age of one hundred, not even if she died in service to this world. Humans are not to be trusted.”

Sela nodded in approval, pleased at least one person in the whole of the chamber seemed to not only notice her but agree with her stance.

Tiral, a rather willowy-looking commander in the Star Navy, said, “Dare I say, I admire the young one’s spirit. “The nearly palpable passion in her words, the fierce boldness in her tone; she has much to learn, trust to earn but even amongst those who doubt, it is difficult to deny she believes her words to be the truth.”

“You _believe_ her?” Sela asked incredulously.

“To a point,” answered Tiral, barely bothered by Sela’s posturing. “While I have no love for humanity as a whole nor implicitly trust them -” Momentarily, she glanced back toward the double doors Ael had so recently gone through. “Not all are as they seem. In my opinion, she should be given a chance to prove her worth. Or are you jealous she may one day rise higher than you in status, getting there fairly rather than a father who pulls one string after another, securing her command?”

Sela glared daggers at Tiral who stared pointedly back.

“I am in agreement with Commander Tiral,” said Ketari, an admiral. Standing at just over six feet in height, built strong, Ketari proved to be an intimidating Romulan specimen, known for her, often, brusque manner of speaking. Sela backed up a step when the woman moved a little too close for comfort’s sake.

“Let me guess,” began Sela, annoyed, “you agree only because that child’s brazenness matches your own. Has everyone in this room turned into human sympathizers?”

Ketari unsheathed an Honor Blade from down her right hip. “Tread carefully with your words, hybrid,” she threatened. “Unless you would like your tongue removed. Insulting those above you in rank and authority is playing dangerously. You were born of this world, to a Romulan father, raised in a Romulan home; surely, you were taught to mind your tongue.”

Tiral seemed annoyed at the additional drama. “Jealousy is what speaks here, an untold fear.”

Ketari replaced the blade back in its sheath. “Indeed. Afraid she will amount to more than you, hybrid? That would indeed be a sight to see.” A little laugh, almost malicious, bubbled up in Ketari’s throat. “If she so desires to one day serve our empire, speaks with such passion for a home she has not seen until today; I have no quarrel with allowing the child to earn a place within society.”

“This is ridiculous, childish nonsense!” Sela insisted. “Do you seriously believe she will ever amount to anything of importance?”

“She will amount to far more than you,” Ketari said, her voice icy cold. “She will amount to more than a commander whose crew is made up of rejects and misfits, whose ship is of a lower class than most in the fleet. I am certain that, if she ever reaches command status, she will not hold to that status by a weak strand of thread, relying on her father to keep the end of the line tethered to his belt, guaranteeing a margin of safety. Honestly, Sela, you should have been demoted back to sub-centurion long ago, what with all your setbacks and failures.”

Sela flushed scarlet straight to the tips of barely-pointed ears. Since when did this discussion become about her? Did these people have to constantly dig at her, remind how little she actually contributed these days? “At least I _have_ Romulan blood in my veins. That child isn’t even Romulan!”

“To some extent, I believe that she is.”

Four pairs of eyes turned from one another toward the source of the sound, three of the four people in the group stood more at attention than mere moments ago. General Movar stepped over to the group, tuning out the incessant arguing going on around the room, bringing his focus onto the four whom he’d been listening to for the past several minutes.

“Unlike the majority of this room, I am privy to information regarding Ael that you do not have,” said Movar more to Sela than the others of the group. It bothered Sela greatly how Movar used that child’s name, a Romulan name no less! “From the first time I put my gaze onto her, looked into those jade-green eyes, all I could see was the truth of her claims, which is all I saw today even though her eyes were hidden from me. Passion for who she is, pride and honor for this world and its people; trust has already been given to at least one,” he continued, remembering the moment Ael had looked into his eyes, the child-like adoration, the trust, the utmost respect that he’d seen. “At this moment, I see no deception in her. There is a steadfast belief deep within her in regards to who she is.”

The only thing he did not admit to the group, concerned the pull he felt toward her, like something in the universe, be it Element, God, or even fate, quietly whispering, pointing in the direction of Ael, saying he needed to be the one to step up and see to her care, become the one thing she had never truly had: A father. Those feelings aside, the praetor was sure to like the decision; a Tal’shiar general, in line for the position of Vice Chairman, keeping the newest member of society, a human, close, under a constant, watchful eye.

 _She needs to be nurtured, properly guided,_ Movar thought to himself. _Molded and shaped into what she so aspires to be, but none of that will happen without a strong family unit standing behind her._

“I cannot believe everyone believes her,” Sela grumbled.

“Sela,” began Tiral, sounding exasperated, “If you will open your ears for one moment, you will take notice of the fact most of this room wants to either toss her out on the streets or condemn her to a firing squad.”

“As she should be,” Sela responded louder than necessary.

“Commander and I use that term loosely,” said Movar, displeased with her continued outbursts, “no one in this grouping is the slightest bit interested in your obviously biased opinion concerning the child. You may wish her put to death but allow me to assure you that such a fate is not hers to meet. To be exceptionally blunt: Your opinion carries very little weight if any. Now, since I have grown tired of your voice, might I suggest keeping your mouth closed.”

Sela’s left eye twitched, jaw muscles tightening in response to the scolding. Tiral smirked. Ketari nodded in agreement with Movar. Avarik turned away, moving toward another grouping who held his same opinions regarding Ael.

“The one thing that stood out to me the most,” Tiral said, “the word “haerhe”. No mere human would know that word, all that it means, what exactly it entails.

“Indeed,” agreed Ketari. “And the way she lifted her chin after she had had her say, just enough to dare anyone to speak against her, not enough to openly invite a potentially deadly challenge. She seems to know her place quite well.”

All at once chaos erupted from the side of the room where the Senate sat, voices angrily rising thanks to a severe disagreement on how best to proceed. All in all, a usual occurrence within the Senate. Others nearby who shared in the sentiments, raised their voices too, Sela deciding the shouting from most meant that the general’s order for her to cease talking, had been rescinded. Once again, she began loudly offering her (still unwanted) opinions to anyone who cared to take notice.

Without a word, Movar turned from the group. Let them all continue to shout and bicker like poorly-raised children; they could shoot one another into silence for all he personally cared. It was time to bring order to the chaos, end the confusion.

With his usual dignified calm, Movar began to walk towards where the praetor still sat, taking careful notice of others’ opinions as he made his way forwards. The consensus seemed to be the same: Ael wasn’t entirely welcome.

“How does she think she is going to survive?” a raven-haired, grey-eyed senate member said to another on her right.

“No one is going to want her,” the man agreed.

“I wouldn’t allow her within a thousand kilometers of my home,” said another.

“We should really put that poor, pitiful thing out of its misery before someone on the streets does it for her.”

Movar heard that and more as he moved ever closer to the appropriate spot on the floor on which to address the praetor and committee. He knew what he had to do, what must be done. Even if it took him until the sun disappeared below the horizon, stars appearing in the blackened sky, Movar was going to bring her into his home. There was more to Ael than most could see; there was no sense in wasting potential.

Once Movar had come to a halt before the praetor, a hush fell over the room, all eyes focused on him. What voices could be heard were whispers, impossible to discern, the majority curious as to the opinion he, a Tal’shiar general, held of the human child named Ael.

“General,” the praetor said his voice tense. “Do you have a recommendation regarding the situation at hand?”

“I do,” he said, the whispering in the room giving way to silence, waiting anxiously for him to speak again. “I believe that I will be taking her in.”

 

*****

**I don’t think I’d ever felt more mentally exhausted, overwhelmed in my life. Less than five steps outside the doors to the Imperial Hall and my legs began to give way. A thin layer of sweat stood out on my body, head throbbed mercilessly, reeling with sudden dizziness. Without warning my stomach lurched, causing me to be sick behind a nearby ornamental something-or-other, and then I just sort of fell. Well, almost. Had the major not intercepted my crumpling form in the nick of time, I’d have made painful contact with the smooth marble floors.**

**“Stay there,” T’Jal said once he’d helped me sit, back braced against the wall. “Get your bearings.”**

**This time, there definitely would be no argument. Pulling my satchel close, I partially slid down the zipper and reached inside to scratch Mr. Mittens behind the ears. It didn’t calm me as much as I’d hoped.**

**“Before I’m sick behind that weird-looking sculpture again; how did I do in front of the praetor?” It couldn’t have gone too terribly since I was still breathing.**

**“Better than expected.” I shot him a withering look. “There were one or two instances you became bolder than was likely safe, others where you barely kept honor intact, close to issuing challenge yet not quite so.”**

**I nearly nodded in understanding but even thinking of the gesture made my stomach roll fitfully and I changed my mind. “I tried to do well, to make at least one person see that I’m not some sort of Federation plot device. I’m sure my mouth almost got me shot.”**

**“Indeed. In this instance you were fortunate the praetor found himself more intrigued, amused than offended.”**

**I could say the same. “Honestly, when I first stepped through those doors; I felt sick. When I kept glancing around… When I saw… Knowing the general was standing right there gave me so much strength, T’Jal, more than you could ever know.” Had he not been there, would I have even made it through at all?**

**T’Jal opened his mouth to respond but closed it when a loud crash rang out behind the doors. It sounded like something had been thrown, something heavy. I couldn’t be sure _what_ I’d heard. Perhaps someone had merely slammed their fists down on a table in a moment of frustration. Hell, maybe they threw the damn table altogether.**

**“Deep breaths, Ael,” instructed T’Jal, likely attempting to keep me from either vomiting again, hyperventilating, or just passing out cold. “Do not assume the worst possible outcome due to, likely, one of the senate members in the throes of a childish tantrum, something that several of them tend to do on occasion when a circumstance forces difficult deliberation.”**

**Okay, so it was apparently nothing new for the members of the Imperial Senate to throw things if they weren’t getting their way, but it didn’t really help calm my nerves any. If anything, I felt worse. I had no doubts most within the chamber were hell-bent on ending my life, most probably fighting on the proper way in which to end it.**

**Or perhaps someone was fighting to save me.**

**Yes, that thought was better. For another half hour, the chamber seemed quiet, then another loud thud, and then the doors swung painfully wide, banging loudly against the wall. Commander Sela stormed through, boots stomping loudly, angrily along. If looks could kill… When Sela caught sight of me, she glared maliciously. I couldn’t be bothered flashing either crude gesture or nasty stare in return. After what I’d just gone through, I was far too tired to do more than sit on my butt and look like I’d been run down by a squadron of drunken soldiers on shore leave.**

**“Not today, Commander,” said T’Jal. Sela finally seemed to notice the Tal’shiar major at my side and standing watch. Without a word, Sela stomped on past, and I breathed an audible sigh of relief. I bet she’d been the cause of the thumps and crashes and bangs coming from inside the Hall.**

**“Thanks,” I said. “She took off quick.”**

**“Contrary to popular belief, Sela isn’t entirely stupid,” said T’Jal, “It is quite likely she whom we heard causing the earlier disturbance.” Consider my own thoughts confirmed.**

**The doors still open, though all quiet, I returned to resting. Just when dozing off seemed on the agenda, the sound of footsteps jolted me awake, almost upright though I felt too weak to stand. Commander Alirra stepped through the doors first, General Movar right behind her. Feeling supremely self-conscious, I begged through my teeth for T’Jal to give me a hand to my feet. He seemed to think I still needed to sit. He was probably right.**

**_Lovely,_ ** **I thought. _The general went from seeing a passionate, somewhat confident, overly-brazen young lady, to see a quivering, ashen, half-passed out little kid on the floor, covered in her own drool._ Hastily, I wiped my mouth on my sleeve.**

**“Congratulations are in order, small one,” said Commander Alirra when she’d reached where I still sat on the floor. Blinking hard, I gazed up in surprise. Did she mean? Really?**

**“I can stay?” I asked, voice small, undeniably happy. “The praetor agreed to give me a chance?” Hot, stinging moisture invaded my eyes and I didn’t give a damn who saw.**

**“Indeed. Many opposed you, though one, in particular, refused to stand down in your defense, quite adamant in granting your request.” Turning, she gestured to the general who still stood back by the doors. I wasn’t sure why. Either my current appearance was making him reconsider his stance or he was waiting until Alirra and T’Jal had finished talking.**

**_I owe you more than I can say,_ ** **I thought, wishing I wasn’t quite so dizzy, so I could leap up and run to him, embracing him tightly, thanking him profusely. I’m sure my thoughts were probably not terribly appropriate but I didn’t exactly care.**

**“Aside from seeing your wish of a new beginning come to fruition, the general has also expressed a keen interest in you and has made it clear that you will be coming into his home for the foreseeable future.”**

**Had I not already been seated on the floor, I definitely would have fallen down in shock. Three seconds later and I turned into a babbling, incoherent mess. I wasn’t even sure what language I was speaking; a little bit of Terran, some Low Rihan, a bit of High, a smattering of the way I’d once taught myself to speak the Romulan tongue. T’Jal and Alirra exchanged glances, and then seemed mostly content to watch me make an idiot of myself.**

**Grateful I didn’t have to suddenly deal with sleeping on the streets, tucked away in an alley, some sort of makeshift weapon held tight as I dozed with one eye open, I heaved a sigh of relief. Me, taken into the general’s home; it felt like yet another dream come true. I had to remind myself that being taken into the general’s home didn’t suddenly make us a family. I needed to tread carefully, learn the rules, and take everything one small step at a time.**

**“Elements, look at me,” I said, wiping my eyes, feeling embarrassed. T’Jal finally helped me upright. “What’s the general going to think of me now?”**

**“The general has a daughter around your age at home,” T’Jal said, keeping a hand on my shoulder since I seemed unsteady. “Tears from an overwhelmed young lady is nothing he has not seen before.”**

**Somehow, it didn’t seem even remotely the same. Nevertheless, I nodded as if I understood. Before I gathered up my satchel off the ground, headed over to where the general still stood, silently waiting, I offered sincere thanks to Alirra for not only hearing my cry for help, a ten-day ago but also acknowledging it when she could have merely gone on her way.**

**And then I turned to T’Jal, a soldier who had taken me under his wing, helped me to wade through various worries and fears, answering questions, helping me learn, offering advice when he could have left me alone in my room to fret, succumb to debilitating anxiety. Had it not been for him, I likely would have been executed right there in the Imperial Hall. And that’s exactly what I told him.**

**“You have been given a second chance at life, a rare gift most never see. Embrace this new beginning, Ael, relish it; allow nothing to keep you from succeeding. I look forward to seeing what you may one day become.”**

**Though not of the military, I stood back and offered a traditional fist to chest salute, a sign of respect from one soldier to another. “I will not fail you, or the general.” I wouldn’t break that promise for the world.**

**Reaching down, T’Jal clicked off my translator and said, “Thei’khaiell ssuin hw’aenevha.” _Let the wind be to your wings._ And then he sent me off toward the general with a gentle push. **

**Still a bit unsteady on my feet, the shove from behind hadn’t helped no matter how gentle it might have been meant, I crossed the short distance of floor to meet my host. He looked exactly like he had in the holodeck on Stargazer: dignified, distinguished, no-nonsense, and way taller than I would ever be. The top of my head barely reached his chest; the holodeck obviously had his height, just over six foot five inches, correct. In a way, I found the extreme height difference both comforting and concerning.**

**Patiently, he waited. I fumbled over what to say, debating whether the translator should remain off or on. For some reason, I chose “off”; at least the traditional greeting came out easily enough, mostly. “J-jolan’tru.” At least he didn’t seem annoyed by my sudden stammering. “Hann-,” No, that wasn’t the right form of thank you in this case, not to someone of his caliber. “Khlinae arhem.” Got it. That was the proper form of “thank you” I’d been after. The only problem was I couldn’t figure out what to say next and turned the translator back on. I was going to have to lean on it for a good while anyway, at least until I learned more of the language, whenever that would be.**

**“Thank you for the honor of allowing me into your home,” I said softly, thankful I hadn’t stammered in nervousness. “I’m beyond grateful to be allowed a chance to prove myself to this world, and to you.”**

**The general acknowledged me with a nod of his head, a trait every Romulan seemed to have when it came to accepting a courtesy. A few seconds after, he said, “You are most welcome, Ael.”**

**To hear him say my name, my identity as a Romulan, filled me to the brim with pride. Hesitantly, I asked, “Is the name I chose when I was little; is it OK?”**

**“It is a noble name that has a courageous, honorable history behind it, and I find it to be a fitting choice.”**

**The urge to jump up and down excitedly had returned. I refrained. Barely. I couldn’t detect a single note of insincerity in his voice, though I’m sure he’d be a master at masking it, making a lie seem like truth if he chose to. In this case, it didn’t feel like it. A Romulans name was more than just an identity, it was their very honor, their pride. It spoke of who they were as a person. To have the general approve of my name meant more than almost anything else in the world.**

**“Come, Ael,” he said a moment later, placing a hand on my shoulder to try and quell a sudden case of the trembles. “Let us return home.”**

**And so began another journey, one which felt entirely too long given how absurdly tired, wobbly on my legs I felt. “Ow, my head,” I murmured, attempting to massage away the ache. The higher gravity was _not_ playing nice. At least we were now in a lift, allowing my weary legs a few minutes respite from walking. **

**“You will become used to the different gravity in time,” the general assured me. “However, I do believe the overwhelming afternoon has no doubt contributed to a few of your current difficulties.”**

**“Probably,” I admitted, sidling a bit closer to his side for comfort’s sake. I smiled to myself when he didn’t move away.**

**The lift came to a stop in a large bay of some sort, one which held craft like I had never seen before. Were they something akin to a shuttle, maybe sleek spacecraft meant for waging war alongside ships of much grander design. Some appeared to be large enough to hold entire families, others seemed to seat no more than two, three if they didn’t mind a lack of personal space. Whatever they were, these sleek crafts were obviously expensive, and we were currently headed to one of the nicest-looking ones in the bay.**

**And then I remembered: I get sky sick.**

**_Tell him right now_ ** **, something inside demanded. _He’s not going to be impressed if you throw up in there._ Probably not. Still, I didn’t want to admit to a flaw he hadn’t seen. The taste of sick on my palate should have forced immediate admittance. Why do I have to be perpetually stubborn?**

**The canopy of the craft slid back and I jumped. Arguing with my inner voice had me a bit distracted. Into the craft I went, settling quickly, buckling restraints when asked to, holding my satchel close. Come to think of it, it might make a great air-sick bag. Then I thought of poor Mr. Mittens nestled inside, blissfully unaware, and felt a bit bad.**

**Within a few moments of being seated the craft beneath me gave a little lurch, like an eager puppy straining against its leash. That movement put the previous evening's dinner up into my throat. While I attempted to summon the necessary courage to admit to my sky-sickness, apparently, movement-of-any-kind sickness now, the bay doors opened, giving a full view of a beautiful blue, pristinely clear afternoon sky. At least I could focus on something more than a fitful stomach.**

**That thought was quick to vanish, the craft, called a flitter, airborne in a flash. Disaster was well on its way to striking hard, an intense wave of nausea hitting me harder than a brick to the head. Sweating, I held tight to my restraints; maybe I could sit back, close my eyes, breathe deep, and ride it out. Not a chance.**

**A plaintive whimper snagged the general’s attention quickly. “What is wrong, Ael?”**

**“N-nothing,” I stammered, swallowing hard. A pointed glance, one that said, “tell me another one,” forced the truth out of me. “I get sky sick.”**

**“That is easily remedied,” he said. “Though I do wish you had informed me of such a condition sooner. Thankfully, you will not have to suffer for the duration of our journey.” The flitter seemed to be rather easy to put on auto-pilot. A medical kit made an appearance from a small panel nearby, a hypospray soon at my neck, the waves of nausea immediately subsiding. I drooped in my seat, relieved, exhausted.**

**“Thank you, General,” I said, and then promptly fell asleep. The next thing I knew, we were home, and I was being gently coerced to rejoin the waking world with a hand on my shoulder. “Wha-?” I questioned sleepily. “How long was I out for?”**

**“Just over an hour,” the general informed. “The rest was no doubt beneficial.”**

**More was definitely needed. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, peering through the window as we came to land in a specified area out front. The sheer size of the home made me intimidated. Did the entire family, aunts, uncles, cousins; grandparents, parents, and children all live here?**

**How in the world did I ever deserve to live in such a grand place?**

**Like the building that sat in the capital’s center, this home shared its circular design, large spires at the top stretching towards the sky, as if reaching for the very sun itself. A beautiful sea of green-blue grass surrounded the home in almost every direction and there looked to be a paddock out back. The urge to get inside, explore every last inch of such a beautiful place, felt all-consuming.**

**_Is it a good idea to expect free rein of a general’s estate?_ ** **I wondered silently. _Take things slowly, allow him the time to build up some trust in you._**

**Soon enough and the flitter had touched down to terra firma. Shakily, after fumbling with the restraints, I exited the flitter, happy to once again be on solid ground. Slinging the strap of my satchel over a shoulder, I followed the general up the walkway, stepping through the mahogany double doors once invited.**

**The main entryway was nothing short of spectacular. The walls almost reminded me of the gorgeous marbled stone adorning the Imperial Hall. The corridor at the front of the home wide enough that four or five people could walk abreast easily, the ceiling above my head arched and airy, something out of a great cathedral. Curiosity got the better of me and I stepped ahead of my host, feet hurrying lightly over immaculate wood flooring that I was a bit worried about scuffing.**

**Ahead of me, a large room to the left opened wide, revealing a sitting room overlooking what appeared to be a garden of grand design. Sunlight streamed in through skylights overhead, cutting a wispy golden swath across the comfortable-looking leather chairs, five, arranged in a circle around a glass coffee table.**

**Near the doorway to the room sat a crystal bowl on a stand about my height, filled with what I could only assume to be hard candy, the brightly colored, iridescent wrappers, tempting. It had been eight days since my last piece. Even though temptation proved great, I didn’t ask for a piece, offering a sheepish smile for wandering ahead instead.**

**“I’m sorry, General,” I said. “I didn’t mean to get ahead of you like that.”**

**“Come,” he said, unperturbed at my momentary wandering away. Following past the sitting room, down a hall: a right turn, another hall and we came to what was now my bedroom. “This will be your room.”**

**I looked in, audibly gasped, and turned back. Surely, there was some mistake! “This is _mine_?” I asked. “Really?” I almost couldn’t believe it. **

**A nod. “Now, if you wish to wander, you will require escort by either me or my daughter.”**

**I felt a bit crushed; I wasn’t sure why. Trust would eventually come. For now, it was common courtesy to respect his wishes. “OK, General,” I said, pretending like I didn’t care about the restriction. He noticed.**

**“However, you are allowed to go into the kitchen and dining room by yourself, if necessary. I will not withhold food or drink from you if it is needed between meals.”**

**“OK, that’s fair,” I said, pressing a hand to forehead. The dizziness had returned. “I think I should lie down.”**

**“Take some time to rest. I will come for you when it is time for last meal.”**

**I nodded in reply, thanking him again for the honor of being allowed into his home. After the general took his leave, I spent some time gawking over the room that had been deemed mine.**

**Stepping forward, across the pristine hardwood protected by a large rug in burgundy, I appraised my bed, one that could probably fit three people without crowding issues. Large, wide, decently plush; I flopped down on top of the maroon colored quilt and sighed. Elements; it was ridiculously comfortable. A nightstand rested nearby, on the side of the bed closest to the wall, a small lamp sitting there even though the lighting levels in the room could be raised and lowered by voice command alone. A clock that I couldn’t read sat there, too. At least, I think it might have been a clock!**

**A good-sized, circular window rested near the bed on a wall painted snowy white, long, flowing curtains in maroon currently pushed aside, allowing in the afternoon’s light.**

**Along the wall nearest the door, I saw a desk, large, made from the finest wood by the finest craftsman. If anything, it looked antique yet very well preserved, cared for. A desktop screen rested on its surface. Inside the drawers, I found only a single PADD. It didn’t have anything on it.**

**Next, I moved to my closet, one of the largest I’d ever encountered, enough to hold at least two full wardrobes for one person, maybe even more. At the moment, there didn’t seem to be anything other than space. It made me self-conscious. At some point very soon I was going to have to ask how exactly to launder my clothes.**

**A door embedded in the wall at the back of the room opened up to reveal a spacious bathroom, complete with a large, oval-shaped, step-down tub that rivaled anything in the VIP suite aboard Stargazer. Indents along the wall of the bath held scented tea lights, a rack of clean, neatly folded towels at the ready. Containers of bath crystals and salts sat lined up in a cabinet, scented soaps on the counter of the vanity, still in wrappers. A large oval hairbrush rested on the counter nearest the sink and I grinned at it. The one I’d been using for ages, old, worn, missing about half its bristles; this would be a wonderful replacement.**

**How in the world did I deserve all of this? I had no idea but I was grateful.**

**For some reason, I didn’t yet feel it the right time to unpack my meager belongings, placing my satchel on the bed and staring out the window into the sunny day. After another ten minutes had passed me by, my stomach grumbled. I suppose having eaten nothing all day, feeling ill or not, had caught up with me. My mouth also felt way too dry, like I’d been sucking cotton. A piece of fruit and a glass of cold water would be just the ticket. Only…**

**While the general _did_ say I could go to the kitchen if necessary, I wasn’t sure if he meant so soon after arriving. Hell if I knew. Maybe he was still nearby and I could get an escort, you know since I’d forgotten to ask where the kitchen was. **

**Leaning out the door of my room, I heard nothing. “Hello?” I called out tentatively. “General?” Nothing. It felt a little weird. In a home this large, one belonging to a high-ranking soldier, Noble Born, of high status in the empire, it was a little strange to hear zero activity. A home of this size, according to T’Jal, would likely be teeming with it, everything from servants to family. “Maybe he’s informing his daughter of the new houseguest.”**

**A minute more and I dared make my way down the hall, retracing the steps taken that had led to my room. I had just stepped past the sitting room when a noise made me stop and turn, bringing me face-to-face with a young lady who had to be the general’s daughter.**

**Everything about this girl, whom I guessed to be at least two years older than me, maybe more, cried regal, noble, someone of status. The way her azure-blue eyes gazed at me, malicious, hateful, like I was something dirty; the look reminded me an awful lot of Sela. This girl carefully, painstakingly scrutinized me from a distance. When she advanced by four steps, I barely held my ground. At nine inches taller, never mind the way she felt compelled to stare; I felt a bit intimidated.**

**The girl’s lithe form bore a long, cobalt black dress with silver accents, accentuating her shape, making her appear older than she might have been. Long hair the color of night rained down her back, a portion of it held in place by an ornate silver clip. Azure-blue eyes narrowed and glaring from beneath a lightly ridged forehead, slanted brows sweeping upward, giving her a bit of a villainous look. Around her neck was a pendant, a dark purple stone on a chain of silver. Two small silver studs adorned her right ear, a single one in her left.**

**Around her waist was a belt of simple design, white, it reminded me of fine cloth. Dangling from this belt, down her right hip were three small pouches. I very nearly asked what was in them.**

**“My father told me we had company.” Finally, she speaks! Her voice is a little too cold for my tastes. “But a _human_? Has he lost his mind?”**

**_Nice to meet you too, Princess_ ** **, I almost snapped. “Um, no?”**

**“What are you doing wandering out in the open?”**

**The way she spoke, one would assume me an animal meant for a cage, something horrible to be kept confined. “I was trying to find the kitchen,” I stated honestly. “Your father said it would be OK to get a drink or something to eat, so I thought…”**

**“I doubt that,” she said disbelievingly with a laugh. “You must have misheard.”**

**“No, I’m pretty sure I heard what he said.” Defensiveness was probably a bad idea but what can I say?**

**“Whatever he said or did not say,” she said, advancing closer, “in this home, _human_ , we do _not_ eat at any time other than specific mealtimes. _Understand_?”**

**Not bothering to answer her, barely noticing the general as I bolted back to my room in tears; I heard him calling my name yet I didn’t stop running.**

**Once in my room I threw myself face down on the bed and began to sob, I had already succeeded in causing some sort of problem within a half hour of arriving at the home I’d always wished for.**

**I wasn’t even sure what I’d done.**

**Well, other than being genetically a human.**

**But I guess for some that is more than enough.**

*********

 

Ael hadn’t been alone for more than a few minutes when there was a soft knocking on her bedroom door. The noise caused her to shrink away.

“Y-yes?” The door opened, Movar entering with a cup of water in one hand and a piece of yellow fruit in the other. Both items were placed on the nightstand, and then Movar sat on the edge of the bed, a single hand resting gently on Ael’s back.

“I know what transpired between you and my daughter,” said Movar in a voice much softer than Ael had expected.

“I-I’m so sorry if I upset her,” Ael whispered hoarsely, sitting up, scrubbing the tears from her cheeks. “I tried to be respectful of her.”

“I heard the majority of the exchange,” said Movar. Ael found the deep tone soothing. “I am aware of who was and who was not, behaving respectfully.”

“I-I’m really sorry if I broke one of your rules, General. S-so sorry.”

 _Far too many unnecessary apologies_ , he thought. “Ael,” Movar began, resting a hand on Ael’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze, “you have done nothing wrong. T’Rul was attempting to intimidate; she should not have been. I have briefly spoken to her. This scenario will not repeat itself.”

Ael nodded quickly, emotion standing wet on her cheeks. “It’s OK,” said Ael when it clearly wasn’t. “I’ll just wait next time.” The sensation of something small and cool pressed into Ael’s palm, hand closing around something that made a familiar crinkling noise, like cellophane. Glancing down, Ael opened her hand, a piece of hard candy sitting there, wrapped neatly in an opaque orange wrapping. Movar had noticed Ael’s earlier, longing gaze at the bowl of confectionary, as though they were familiar things, which they surely were. A little piece of familiarity might just be the thing to help Ael restore her sense of calm.

“Really?” Ael questioned. “I-I can have it?” A confirming nod. “T-thank you.”

“Now then, let us have no more tears,” said Movar gently, Ael scooting over to huddle against his side, seeking refuge from the pain of the knowledge that her humanity, on a world filled with those who harbored everything against it, might be harder to overcome than she thought.


	12. Chapter 12

Uneventful and silent described the remainder of the day; T’Rul stayed holed up in her room, avoiding further contact with the newcomer, while Movar tended to some much-needed work in his private office. Ael slept soundly for most of the afternoon, waking long enough to eat the piece of fruit Movar had given her earlier, draining the glass of water soon after, returning to sleep upon discovering that attempting to stand made her feel sick.

The time ticked over to nineteenth hour or six-o-clock as far as Ael’s internal clock was concerned, though asleep she remained. Not even the wonderful smells of a home-cooked meal could entice Ael out of bed to investigate; pulling the blanket up and over her head seemed the better option. Fatigue felt all-consuming.

A half-hour later and dinner found its way to the table, Movar striding down the hall to Ael’s room, hoping to find a well-rested young lady, one who felt a little less ill than earlier in the day. A soft rapping on the door lent itself to silence in return. Slowly, Movar opened the door and peered through the dim lighting to spy Ael on her bed, curled up beneath the blanket and snoring. The curtains were drawn, allowing none of the smoky purple haze of twilight to seep into the room; at least the light that spilled in from the hall through the open door provided enough light in which to see.

On the nightstand sat the glass of water, now empty, and a large oval seed, all that remained of the piece of fruit Ael had consumed shortly after waking earlier in the afternoon. Ael’s satchel was nowhere in sight, though a stuffed animal of some sort, in the shape of a feline, rested just beside the bed on the floor; it had obviously fallen when Ael had rolled over.

Quietly making his way over to the bed, Movar reached down and gave the girl beneath the blanket a gentle shake to her shoulder. Ael responded with a sudden, startled snore, disappearing further beneath the quilt, mumbling incoherently for a moment before falling silent. Another attempt was made to wake her, this time a softly-spoken word to accompany a few pats to her back.

“Too tired,” Ael mumbled. “Feel sick.”

The decision to allow Ael to further rest was quickly made; there was little use in making her come to the table. Aside from an overwhelming day, mentally and emotionally no doubt, the change in gravity, higher than what she was used to even on the warbird that had ferried her from Neutral Zone border to the homeworld, physically taxing too.

The sensation of a hand on Ael’s back, a familiar voice telling her to rest well; Ael’s lips turned up in a little smile when she felt Mr. Mittens placed beside her on the bed, a hand finding its way from beneath the blanket to capture the treasured friend and pull it close for a snuggle.

Sleep well indeed.

 

 

…

 

A twittering bird on the windowsill marked Ael’s first day on the homeworld. Peering through the, now, slightly open curtains, Ael yawned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The world just beyond the window, bathed in a dim, purplish haze told of the approaching dawn, Ael wondering just how early she’d woken. Turning her head, Ael squinted through bleary eyes at the time device on her nightstand, unable to make heads or tails of it, wrinkling her nose in disapproval. Figuring it had to at least be at least five in the morning, or what her internal clock considered five, Ael sat up, a rumbling in her stomach reminding of the skipped meal the evening before.

Watching the purplish haze give way to a bluish shade with a touch of pink, Ael found her thoughts wandering away. Instead of a mind filled with happy thoughts regarding her new-found home, the father she’d always wished for, what adventures the new day might bring, Ael found them heading to a slightly darker place, where they always seemed to go whenever she thought someone might be upset with her.

 _I wonder if I made the general upset last night, by not going to the table for dinner_ , she thought to herself. Recalling the previous evening wasn’t too difficult; Ael could remember the feeling of someone trying to wake her, and then the sensation of a hand resting gently on her back, stuffed cat tucked in beside her dozing form, a deeply soft, fatherly voice telling her to rest well.

“No,” she said aloud, a weight suddenly lifted, worried thoughts dispersing as quickly as they’d come. “I’m positive I didn’t. If he really wanted me out of bed and at the table, he would have made me. I’m sure T’Rul didn’t mind me missing.”

Ael’s stomach rumbled again, prompting an idea: maybe she could make breakfast to make up for missing out on dinner the evening before, maybe she could make pancakes! Perfect! How could a nice meal made with the best of intentions not set the foundation for a great day? Besides, maybe it would soften T’Rul a bit. Surely not even the general’s little princess would protest the idea of pancakes.

After a quick shower, washing up with a soap smelling of mint and lime, Ael dressed. Before heading out the door and to the kitchen, Ael studied her reflection in the full-length mirror, admiring the scarlet and black patterned dress, gold accenting at the hemline she’d replicated back aboard Stargazer, though had never worn until today. The high collar bothered her a bit; slipping a finger beneath it Ael pulled the fabric away.

“I’ll have to get used to it,” she said aloud. “It’s probably the same feeling everyone gets from the military tunics.” At least the shoulders of her dress, sweeping gently outward, weren’t as severe, as “boxy” as the aforementioned tunics, either. The skirt of the dress, black, fell just past Ael’s calves, and since the day was early, she opted to head down to the kitchen in socks instead of shoes.

Stepping out into the hall Ael looked right, then left, momentarily concerned about making an error in judgment. _No_ , she thought quickly, _you’re fine. The general said you could go to the kitchen unaided, and I didn’t eat last night so… Not like I actually know where the kitchen is, though. Ah, I’ll find it._

Nodding to herself, like she was confirming all would be well, Ael headed out into the hall. The hardwood floors felt exceptionally chilly through Ael’s socks, forcing the idea of sprinting toward the kitchen rather than strolling leisurely there. At least the kitchen was easily found, not far from the sitting room, and a little down the next hall.

Raising the lighting level upon reaching the kitchen, Ael took a moment to get her bearings. A much larger kitchen and workspace than Ael had ever seen sprawled out around her; she hadn’t a clue where to start. At least, as she looked around, poking into this and that, opening drawers, peering into cupboards; there, at least, was some familiarity to the things she saw. Ael felt a sense of relief in knowing that whether on Earth or Romulus, preparing a meal, sitting down to eat; it seemed to be practically the same.

“OK, found plates, cups, and cutlery,” said Ael to herself. “Cooking stuff, pans and what not are over there.” Selecting a modest-sized mixing bowl for use, a heavy spoon to go alongside, Ael wandered a bit further back to see about locating the refrigerator, locating a generous-sized, walk-in cool room that seemed to store a little bit of everything. “Holy cow!” Ael exclaimed. “There’s probably enough food in here to feed half the city.” A possible over exaggeration, though to be fair Ael had never seen anything like it before, happily poking around, shivering from prolonged exposure to the cool air, all the while looking for a few ingredients to go into her pancake batter.

Milk and eggs and butter made their way into a basket that sat by the door, as did several different kinds of fruit that Ael couldn’t wait to sample. Ael decided on the spur of the moment to make a fruit salad to go with the pancakes. The little lavender berries she found, a cross between tart and sweet tasting, sure to go great in the batter as a stand-in for the blueberries she had often enjoyed. Heading back into the comforting warmth of the kitchen, Ael placed the basket on the counter, rummaging around the cupboards until she found sugar and flour.

Once back at the counter, ingredients lined up and assembled like a troop of soldiers awaiting inspection, Ael set to work making a batter, something she had only tried a time or two in her past. How hard could it be this time? Famous last words, as they say.

The innards of three eggs hit the bowl first, followed by a quarter cup of milk or what she assumed to be. She hadn’t thought to locate measuring cups. Ael beat the items together, adding the flour once combined. “Oops,” she mumbled when a bit too much flour fell into the mix, a bit more ending up on the countertop and floor. “I’ll wipe it up in a sec. Let’s see, some sugar, the berries…”

A little tune in the form of humming hit the air while Ael worked on making the most perfect breakfast she could imagine. In her mind’s eye, Ael could already see the pancakes piled high on plates, dripping with syrup that she hadn’t yet tried to find. After a good mixing, Ael looked into the bowl, nose wrinkling at the thick texture of the batter, and the sickly purple color thanks to the generous handful of berries she’d added.

“Maybe if I add a bit more milk,” Ael mused, adding a little at a time, a little more; an accidental mispour making the batter a bit too wet rather than too dry. A little more flour and the batter seemed to be, mostly, recovered. “I’m sure they’ll be OK, I hope. Now, to start on the fruit sa-” _Oh, crap!_

T’Rul stood in the entryway to the kitchen, blue eyes filled with displeasure, staring at the newcomer. Even though she’d been lectured the previous afternoon in regards to behavior, T’Rul found it difficult to comply with her father’s wishes, to treat Ael with at least a measure of courtesy. How in the world could he trust a human! Did he really believe allowing one into their home to disrupt their lives; what made this one, this _Ael_ so damned special that she hadn’t been left to fend for herself on the cruel, unforgiving streets of the capital city?

Sixteen years of instinct and teachings, the main reasons behind T’Rul’s unwelcome stare. Was she supposed to forget how she’d been raised, what she’d been taught? To suddenly lean away from the teachings of “humans are the enemy, they are never to be trusted”, it didn’t seem possible. And now here this girl stood, stirring something unidentifiable in a bowl, standing in some exceptionally nice clothing spotted with flour, in her socks in the kitchen at least an hour and a half before first meal.

“What in the world are you doing?” T’Rul asked or rather, snapped.

“I’m making breakfast,” Ael responded, trying to ignore T’Rul’s tone. “What’s it look like?”

“First meal is not for another hour and a half.” Stepping forward, attempting to appear menacing; perhaps she could frighten this girl away to her room.

“It’ll be a little early today,” said Ael, feeling an annoyed flush beginning to color her cheeks. _This is going to be like living with Jeff. Maybe worse._

“I know what you are attempting to do,” T’Rul said after a minute of silence. Her eyes narrowed in mistrust, anger.

Ael suddenly didn’t feel very well. Still, she held her ground, hugging the bowl close to her body. “Um, I’m making breakfast?”

“Do you want to know what I think?”

“No, not re-”

“Are you attempting to poison us?” T’Rul asked bluntly, accusingly.

Ael’s jaw dropped and she yelped, “ _Poison_ you? Are you _serious_? You think I’m trying to poison you with _pancakes_?” Any second now and Ael might just blow her fuse, sending a variety of insults hurtling toward the general’s daughter. All at once, Ael began to whip the batter in the bowl into submission; she had to take her frustration out on something or she might just scream.

“Listen to me, _hevam_ , “ T’Rul spit, the derogatory term causing Ael’s ears to burn. “You will _not_ get away with -”

“There is nothing to get away with!” Ael hollered, slamming the spoon down into the bowl, a glob of batter flying up to catch her on the cheek. “Stop making such gross assumptions; you don’t even _know_ me!”

“I do not want to know you!” T’Rul hollered back just as loud.

“Then why don’t you -”

“All right, ladies, that is more than enough.” Movar stepped into the kitchen, glancing between T’Rul and Ael, inviting either young lady to explain the nature of the raised voices he’d heard clear down the hall and halfway up the stairs.

Though Movar’s voice hadn’t been cold, cruel; even though he had spoken calmly, Ael found her body instinctively cringing away. Something in her mind bid her turn tail and run back to her room, bolt the door and hide. Entryway blocked, Ael felt on the verge of panic. Eyes wide, filled with tears, complexion ashen; Ael dropped the bowl to the counter and jumped away as though she’d been scalded. Feet propelled her backward until she connected with the cabinets. Staring ahead unblinking, trembling from head-to-toe; Ael prayed to anything that could hear, begging she wasn’t about to meet her doom.

This wasn’t the holodeck. She’d just been caught fighting with the general’s daughter, under his roof. Sure, she’d had reason to become agitated and shout but thanks to her past, Ael felt fearful as she gazed up at the man who she’d seen as a father for a great many years.

 _Upset fathers mean pain_ , she thought, unable to bite back a frightened sob. _They mean degradation, humiliation, torment. I tried to do something good and look what it’s gone and got me! Why couldn’t I stay quiet? I should have offered a meek apology and hurried back to my room, never to come out again._ Another part of Ael’s mind argued that she had to be mistaken.

“Ael,” Movar began, stepping forward; he halted when she dropped down and curled against the cabinets, shielding her head with arms and hands, anticipating blows to fall at any given moment. Such behavior warranted concern. Movar had learned, mostly from T’Jal’s reports that Ael hadn’t come from a rosy life or upbringing, but to see her now, cowering in fear in response to the asking of a question when caught in an argument, he could see exactly what her home life on Earth had been. It both angered and saddened him.

“I-I’m sorry,” squeaked Ael from behind her hands. “I-I didn’t mean it.”

Taking great care, Movar stepped over to where Ael huddled on the floor, dropping to one knee, laying a hand on her head. “I am not angry, Ael,” he promised.

“R-really?” Slowly, Ael dropped her arms.

“The arguing caused mild irritation, not anger. Even if I had found myself exceptionally upset, Ael, rest assured that I will never harm you in the ways you have obviously come to expect from a parental figure.”

Grateful beyond belief, upset with herself to think that Movar could ever cause her harm, Ael quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks and sat up, no longer feeling like she had to hide. A new battle began inside; Ael wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold tight, a little voice in the back of her mind asking if such an action was altogether appropriate.

 _You don’t know him well enough. No matter your feelings; the general doesn’t see you as his daughter._ The thoughts made Ael feel worse.

“Come here, Ael,” said Movar gently, seeing that comfort was long past due, the inner struggle she faced, the girl attempting to decide if a hug would be allowed or met with a curse.

Struggling not to burst into a completely new set of tears, Ael accepted the offer of a hug, holding tight, refusing to glance over to where she figured T’Rul to still be standing, watching, likely sickened, angered at the sight.

“I-I tried to make breakfast,” said Ael softly, wiping at her eyes as Movar helped her to her feet. “I felt bad for not coming to the table, missing dinner with the family on my first night. I thought if I made breakfast then maybe I could make up for it. I-if I caused a-a problem; I’m really sorry.”

A soft snort floated over from the entryway, T’Rul looking on in both disbelief and annoyance. “Like anyone believes that nonsense,” she muttered sourly under her breath.

Ael could feel her head hanging low; at least Movar believed that her intentions hadn’t been malicious. “I can just go back to my room,” said Ael after a moment. “I’m, um, not really all that hungry this morning. It must be the gravity.”

“That will not be necessary,” said Movar before Ael could step away in defeat. A pointed glance from Movar to T’Rul spoke volumes; a warning glance, telling his oldest to treat those beneath the roof with at least some honor and respect, forced T’Rul’s mouth to clamp shut against further insult, though she did not leave the room. Turning back to Ael, Movar asked what she’d been attempting to make.

“Pancakes,” said Ael quietly. “I’m not even sure if you have them here or anything like them. I usually had them in the morning. They always seemed to set the foundation for a good day so I thought…” Moving back to where the bowl rested on the counter, Ael lifted it, attempting to stir the, now, too-thick batter. The color of the batter looked worse than before, too; Ael couldn’t remember ever seeing a shade of purple appear so dirty before.

“You had good intentions,” said Movar, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Next time, however, I would prefer if I were here to supervise, should you decide you would like to prepare a meal.”

“OK, General,” said Ael, taking a moment to get her bearings before cleaning up the mess on the counter and floor. It was difficult with T’Rul watching every movement the way a predator would watch prey, but Ael managed.

 _I’ll just ignore her_ , thought Ael, wiping the glob of batter from her cheek with a moistened kitchen towel. _Well, if such a thing is possible._

Ael wasn’t so sure.

 

 

_…._

_New home, ch’Rihan, Day 1. Time: I have no idea how to read this clock yet._

_My first day in my new home and I’ve already had a bit of a catastrophe. OK, so maybe nothing quite that bad, though it kind of feels like it. After sleeping through dinner last night, waking up way too early this morning; I decided I’d make breakfast for the family, to make up for not being at the table last night. Good intentions always go sideways somehow, though, don’t they? The general’s little princess, T’Rul, came into the kitchen and found me stirring up a pancake batter, but she was only interested in stirring up trouble over a situation that didn’t even exist._

_Long story short, Journal: T’Rul accused me of attempting to poison both her and her father. I know the batter I made wasn’t that great, I never even cooked them, but accusing me of-? I guess I can sort of understand her situation. She’s Romulan and I’m – I don’t present as I feel I should. To her, I’m the enemy. That wasn’t the worst part. The worst part happened when the general stepped into the kitchen. Fighting with his daughter on my first day in the home, yelling loud enough I attracted his attention from elsewhere in the house; it doesn’t help that he’s so much larger than I am, or that he always appears angry even when he isn’t._

_Paralyzed by fear, I backed hastily away even though no one had advanced, dropping to the floor against the cabinets and shielding my head from blows I swear I thought were about to rain down. I apologized, I pleaded; he knelt by my side, rested a hand gently on my head, assured me he wasn’t angry, and even if he was, he would never cause me harm. Honestly, I feel rotten that I could ever think he would beat me like – Never mind. I don’t feel like going there._

_T’Rul ended up muttering something hateful, earning her a pointed look that instantly shut her up. It was one of those looks that says, “You know how to behave, yes? Start acting like it.” I’m sure there probably was a bit more behind it. Nothing I’ll ever know. I hope she learns to at least tolerate me so I don’t have to deal with living with Jeffery Wallace 2.0. That would suck._

_At least I don’t have to worry about the general behaving horribly toward me. At first, admittedly, I felt a bit worried, wondering if the holodeck had everything right or if I’d programmed the general’s character a bit too much past the norm. So far, he seems to be as I always thought him to be: caring, nurturing, comforting when needed, offering counsel as necessary._

_I’ve already been hugged a couple of times, too. I’ve never really had –_

A knock pulled Ael away from journaling. Closing the book, leaving the pen between the pages to hold her place, Ael said, “Come in.” Momentarily bracing in case T’Rul had come to, likely after being told to by her father, apologize for the earlier argument, Ael’s shoulders sagged in relief when Movar stepped in. A touch of apprehension still sat lodged in her stomach, something in her head asking if she might be about to get a lecture thanks to the earlier incident with T’Rul. Quickly, Ael forced a new thought to override the last; perhaps he was about to offer a tour of the home, show her around. The gardens Ael had glimpsed upon arrival the previous day had been exceptionally stunning. A close-up look, maybe a little stroll around them would be quite nice, lift her mood a bit.

The thoughts were quickly laid to rest, Movar only by to inform his new charge that he would be away from the home for most of the morning and afternoon hours.

“It’s OK,” said Ael with a little shrug, pretending she didn’t mind being holed up for another eight to ten hours, maybe more. Maybe it was a good thing; a sudden dizzy spell reminded Ael of the difference in gravity. “I’ll probably just lie down again in a minute. I feel tired and a bit dizzy. Before you go, can I ask you something?”

“You may.”

“When you get home tonight, if you’re not too tired I mean; would you show me the gardens out back?”

“Providing the hour is not late upon my return home, I will gladly show you. However, if you would like, I can ask T’Rul to give you a moderate tour of the home in my absence.”

The offer, though generous, almost became one Ael quickly denied. Barely keeping the disgust from her face, Ael weighed the pros and cons. While she wanted to see as much of her surroundings as possible, to have T’Rul be her guide was more than a little off-putting.

 _I guess I can try_ , thought Ael. _T’Rul has to warm up to me at some point, right? Maybe if I do the whole “kill her with kindness” thing she’ll soften a little._ “I’d like that.”

“Then I will have her come for you shortly. For now, however, I must take my leave.”

“OK,” said Ael, resisting the urge to rise from her chair and offer a good-bye hug. “I hope you have a good day.”

A small incline of the head said “thank you”, Movar heading off to wherever he needed to be for the day, Ael left alone with a head full of thoughts and a journal that needed more room than it had left, to write in.

Ael sat in silence for less than ten minutes, another knock on her door, this one decidedly rough and more like a pounding, causing a startle. Entering without being invited, T’Rul stood just beyond the threshold, glaring daggers at Ael who had yet to speak. Rude or not, Ael wished she had rejected Movar’s offer of a guided tour by his daughter.

 _I think I should wait for the general to come home_ , Ael thought. _T’Rul looks like she wants nothing more than to tear me apart._

The stare-off annoyed T’Rul more than she already felt. Aside from a good scolding by her father over the way she’d chosen to behave towards Ael, now he’d asked her to play tour guide in his absence. The less time spent around this human the better; T’Rul would do as her father asked and get it over with quickly. Like ripping off a bandage: Be quick, ignore the little burst of pain, be finished with it and move on.

“Are you coming or not?” T’Rul asked somewhat angrily, further putting Ael off the desire to see the home.

“Where?” Ael felt it best to play dumb.

“My father has, for some reason, appointed me as your tour guide; I’ve been asked to show you around the house. Unless you would prefer to sit and stare at the wall?” Something in T’Rul’s blue eyes seemed hopeful that Ael would take the second option.

“Actually, yes, I think I’ll take you up on offer number two,” said Ael, upset at the interaction. So much for killing the general’s daughter with kindness. Folding her arms, Ael said, “You obviously don’t want to be here and I’d rather not be your assigned menial duty for the day.”

“Good,” she responded shortly. “I have better things to do with my morning than escort you around the house, satisfying your ridiculous human curiosities. It is a house. It has generic house things.”

“You make it sound so commonplace,” said Ael before she could help it. “This is a palace compared to most other homes, I’m sure. Hell, the clock alone is so foreign that I can’t even tell the time.”

A quick glance at the clock prompted T’Rul to quirk a brown in a way that said Ael was an idiot. “That is not my problem.”

“Get lost, then, _princess_ ,” Ael growled. “Go meander about your castle.”

“With pleasure, _hevam_ ,” T’Rul sneered, slamming the door on her way into the hall.

 _Bitch_ , Ael thought violently, glaring at the closed door for a solid minute before huffing out a breath, turning back to her journal. Suddenly, she felt like switching to crimson ink for the remainder of her journaling session.

“If I even feel like writing anymore,” she grumbled in irritation. “One thing is for sure, I’m not going to fill what’s left of my journal on thoughts about my loathing for T’Rul. Might play a rousing game of “tattle-tale” later. I’m sure the general would love to hear about the derogatory, racial terms his little princess seems to know.”

After some careful thought, Ael decided to say nothing. She was better than that. Perhaps ignoring T’Rul most of the time, forcing politeness when necessary, would be best. So would a prolonged, relaxing soak in the gloriously large bathtub in the adjoining bathroom. Ael heading there to try and relax away the remaining worries on her shoulders.

 

 

…

The light of day gave way to evening twilight, Ael sitting on her bed, staring through the window, idly stroking the ratty fur of the stuffed tiger on her lap. Beside her, still open, was her journal, neat writing in a melancholy blue ink lining two pages. Staring down at the book, Ael heaved a little sigh. After an hour-and-a-half long soak earlier in the day, Ael had retreated to bed, resting through the afternoon hours, never bothering to head out into the kitchen to scout out some lunch. Dizzy spells aside, the thoughts concerning interacting with T’Rul further; it made Ael feel queasy. After snoozing for a few hours Ael’s head felt a bit clearer, though she still had little desire for leaving her room. Staring through the window at the clear day, listening to the birds singing; it almost reminded her a little of her old home. Ael wasn’t quite sure how she felt about the comparison.

Retrieving her journal and pen from the desk, Ael took to writing down her feelings, rambling and babbling, unsure where she was going. Finally, she stopped, putting the book down at her side, dragging her stuffed cat into her lap, idly stroking its fur as she waited for the sound of Movar’s flitter, announcing his arrival home. At the first sounds of the flitter in the distance, Ael almost felt giddy, like a little girl who had waited all day for the return of her father, home from his duties.

The giddiness was very short-lived. “No matter how much I want him to be, he isn’t really my daddy,” said Ael softly. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t rush from the room, greeting him with a hug and a cheerful “how was your day?” all the while delighting in his company, glad he was home. For the moment, Ael had to stay in her room, waiting for Movar to come check on her, see how her day had gone.

Ael didn’t have long to wait, a knock on her bedroom door, less than five minutes later, gave her a small reason to smile. “Come in,” she said, attempting to drudge up a slightly wider smile, hoping to give the appearance that everything was fine.

Movar didn’t buy the act, knowing at once that something was off. Posturing, the way she didn’t move from the bed, her expression mildly despondent; the way she appeared unable to hold his gaze for more than a few seconds all told that Ael felt a bit down.

“What is it, Ael?” Movar questioned. “Has something happened while I was away?”

“I’m just not feeling well,” Ael answered, turning back to stroking Mr. Mittens. _I should tell him everything but despite T’Rul being a – I really don’t want to start trouble._

Movar, though he knew Ael was keeping something back, chose not to pry. If she wanted to speak of whatever might be troubling her, she would. “Were you able to spend some time out of your room this morning?”

“No, General,” Ael admitted sadly, uncertain if she should share the reason why. One look into his eyes and Ael could tell he knew the reason. “Aside from – I started feeling a bit dizzy again, and just plain sick in the stomach so I stayed here and slept for most of the day.”

“I see. Regarding the former issue, I will speak to T’Rul.” Ael instantly stiffened, hoping the older girl wouldn’t hate her more for the talking to she might be about to get for the second time in the span of a day. “As for the latter, your body will need time in order to become accustomed to the higher gravity. Resting was no doubt helpful.”

“Once I woke up, I felt a little better, or so I thought. I’m not feeling too great again if I’m honest.” _Mostly because I want to run to you, wrapping my arms around you in a hug, losing myself to tears over how horrible I feel yet how happy I am to be in your home._

Conflicting emotions and thoughts made Ael’s already ill-feeling stomach all the more upset and she wrapped her arms around her middle. Maybe she just should have pretended to be asleep.

“Would you like to come to the sitting room for a while?” Ael suddenly seemed interested. Getting out of her room for a while _would_ be nice, a little more comfortable at least. “It would only be for half an hour; last meal is soon.”

Ael couldn’t tell if she felt well enough to eat, concerned with possibly missing two evening meals in a row. Truth be told, Ael didn’t feel like sitting at the same table with T’Rul, dodging nasty stares, hearing discontented mumbling all through dinner.

“I really want to,” said Ael slowly, thinking it best to refuse the offer, at least for one more day, “but if it’s OK, could I stay here and rest? I feel like I might be sick if I eat, and my head feels all fuzzy. I won’t miss tomorrow, though, no matter how I feel,” she promised. “My body seems to think going back to sleep is a good idea right now.”

Movar nodded once in understanding, Ael relieved he wasn’t annoyed. “All right, Ael,” he said. “I will allow you to forgo coming to the table this evening but I do not want it becoming a habit.”

“Thank you,” said Ael gratefully not bothering to tell Movar she’d also missed lunch. “It won’t become a habit, I promise. Everything at the moment; I just feel overwhelmed, more confused than I thought I’d be.”

“Understandable. There will be something placed aside for you if you wish to eat at some point this evening. For now, I must take my leave.”

“General?” Ael quickly called out. “Could we talk later?” Maybe he could give her some advice on how to deal with T’Rul’s hatred of her or at the very least, how to stop feeling quite so confused. “Maybe in a couple of hours?”

“That is fine, Ael, I will return then.” And then he was gone, Ael turning her attention to the journal, which still sat at her side. There might be a few more things to confide in it after all.

Sleeping could wait.

 

…

 

The clock ticked over to just after second hour, or one in the morning according to Ael’s internal clock. The majority of the home currently found itself engulfed by the darkness of the late hour, though there were a few lights strategically placed throughout the home’s halls, ensuring there would be no tumbles should one awake in the middle of the night, deciding to wander. Waking early was what Ael happened to do, a loud snore escaping, startling her awake, causing her to sit up so fast in bed that she nearly tumbled over the side.

Gazing around the darkened room, momentarily confused, Ael bid the lighting level to rise, just enough to where looking at the clock, not that it could yet be read, proved easier. Still, Ael squinted at the device through tired eyes and blurry vision. _At some point,_ she thought, rubbing a hand across her eyes, _I’m going to have to ask the general how to read this stupid thing._

Able to read the time device or not, Ael knew the hour to be late, far past the time when she had requested Movar return to her room so they could speak. Feeling annoyed with herself over missing a chance to talk, to get a bit of counsel, Ael sighed. A moment later her stomach rumbled, a deep, growling roar that caused Ael’s middle to painfully ache.

“I should have just gone to the dinner table,” said Ael, shoving the quilt aside, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. “Too late for that now. The general did say something would be put back for me…” Supposing it to be a permissible thing for her to go in search of leftovers, Ael took a deep breath, reminded herself it wasn’t against the house rules for her to head into the kitchen if she needed to eat.

It was a quick jaunt; the coolness of the hardwood beneath Ael’s feet spurred her along at a quick clip. At least the rest of the house felt warm and comfortable. Before reaching the kitchen, Ael passed by one of the sitting rooms, pausing long enough to stare out into the gardens, unable to see anything except the darkened shadows of alien plant life and, of course, the twin moons overhead. That sight was the most distracting.

Another rumbling jolt from Ael’s middle forced her momentarily entranced gaze away from the window, the girl soon in the kitchen, in search of her meal. Gaze swept across the countertops, searching for a plate that perhaps had been covered and left out in plain view. The only thing Ael found was a cooking pot that hadn’t been put away again after cleaning.

Ael turned to head back towards the cool room when the sound of approaching footsteps, brisk and precise, snagged her attention. “At least it’s not T’Rul,” mumbled Ael in relief, silently hoping she hadn’t accidentally awakened Movar by her moving about the house. “No,” she thought as the footsteps drew closer, “it sounds like he’s still in his boots.”

Being new to the home, Ael didn’t yet know of its normalcies, one of which happened to be how late Movar typically stayed awake, working past the midnight hour upwards of four days out of ten. The times he didn’t have work to focus on, he could often be found in the sitting room until well past midnight, reading a book, sipping Romulan brandy.

Ael stood quietly until the source of the footfalls stepped into the kitchen. Movar didn’t notice Ael at first, his gaze trained on a PADD; he only took notice when he raised the lights, forcing Ael to mildly shy away from the sudden brightness.

“Um, hello,” said Ael quietly, feeling more anxious than she wanted. “Sorry if I made too much noise. I woke up hungry so I thought I’d try and find what might be leftover.”

After one more glance at the device in his hand, Movar tucked the PADD into his pocket. “That would have been a far simpler task, had the lighting level not been so dim.”

“I’m not sure why I didn’t put the lights on,” said Ael honestly. “I think I’m still a bit tired. A part of me, too, for some reason, thought I might wake someone by making the room too bright.” In the blink of an eye, Ael quickly changed gears, turning exceptionally anxious. “I didn’t do that, did I? Wake anyone?” _You know you didn’t_ , something inside reminded.

“No, you did not,” Movar confirmed. “I am often awake at this hour, most nights.”

Ael nodded, her stomach, again, rumbling loudly. Clamping a hand over the source of the sound, grinning somewhat sheepishly, Ael asked where her dinner might be and if she could get it. Movar surprised her by telling her to take a seat in the dining room at the table, that he would bring the reheated meal to her in a few minutes.

For a moment, Ael stood wide-eyed; it almost didn’t seem right, his offering to serve her anything, for any reason. Then she reminded herself how comforting, how gentle towards her he’d already been, concluded this was another moment of kindness, refused to analyze the reasons behind the action, said, “thank you”, and headed into the adjoining room.

A minute later and the scent of something herbed and savory began to drift into the dining room. All at once Ael began to salivate, middle rumbling more insistently than before. Sitting up straighter in her seat, leaning forward just a touch, eyes straight ahead, Ael hungrily anticipated the arrival of her very late dinner.

Another few minutes passed until a modest-sized bowl in earthy colors took its place in front of her, a cup of cold water placed beside. Ael spent a good thirty seconds inhaling appreciatively; it was one of the most aromatic dishes she’d ever had the pleasure of smelling. Vegetables and meat married together in a rich-looking sauce Ael could barely wait to try. There also seemed to be something like rice, peeking out beneath the fragrant sauce. Before she could lift her fork and dig in, a stray thought jumped forward; Ael suddenly had a question to ask.

Movar noticed the wandering mind, lack of eating and spoke first. “Are you no longer hungry, Ael?”

“It’s not that,” said Ael, mentally drawing in a deep breath before voicing the (possibly) odd request. “A stray thought jumped into my head and got stuck for a minute. Is it OK if I ask you something?”

A pair of calmly patient, dark brown eyes stared into a pair of hesitantly worried green ones. “You may.”

A little too cautiously, Ael broached the request. “This is going to sound a little weird but would it be OK if I ate outside? On the front steps, maybe?” Ael went on to describe how entranced she’d become by the sight of the moons through the window in the sitting room, upon passing it on her way to the kitchen. There was also the fact she still hadn’t truly sat down and gazed at the stars in the heavens the way she’d been wishing for, forever. Staring at them through her bedroom window couldn’t compare to sitting outside beneath a never-ending blanket of them.

A seemingly unusual request, though one easily granted. Ael’s eyes lit with joy when Movar gave his approval.

“Th-thank you,” Ael stammered happily, almost a little surprised he’d agreed so quickly. “It really means a lot.”

“I believe I understand, Ael. However, I will be near at all times.”

Agreeing in a heartbeat, Ael, chortling in sudden good spirits, scooped up her bowl, glass of water, and headed toward the front door, a noticeable spring in her stride. Though she longed to sprint out into the cool spring air, Ael waited for Movar to open the door for her, signaling she could go ahead and step outside. It was difficult not to bolt past him, ignoring her dinner, bouncing happily across the yard, twirling around with head tilted back, arms spread wide, crying out in joy to finally be home.

Stepping out almost cautiously, Ael inhaled the crisp air deeply, delighting in the freshness of it, detecting a hint of something akin to honeysuckle, likely wafting over on the breeze from the gardens she hadn’t yet seen.

“Stay close, Ael,” said Movar from the doorway.

“I will, D – err, General,” Ael said, blushing at the near slip of the tongue. Sitting down on the bottom step, Ael gazed up, a pair of moons shining beautifully overhead, their silvery-white light, bright, one a little paler than the other, bringing immense comfort. The sky, onyx black tinged with cobalt blue awash with a never-ending source of little twinkling lights; Ael couldn’t remember ever seeing a sky filled with quite so many stars before and being aboard ships in space didn’t seem to count.

At last, Ael’s attention fell to the bowl in her hands, and the hunger in her middle. “Mm, this is nice,” mumbled Ael around the food in her mouth. The herbaceous, slightly bitter herbs, the mild nuttiness of the rice, the earthiness of the vegetables; a rich, deeply savory sauce over perfectly seasoned and cooked strips of meat satiated Ael’s hunger easily, further improving her mood.

Eating and stargazing; Ael content to do both, placing her bowl to the side once she’d finished, slowly sipping the cup of water. If anything, Ael wished she could sit on the steps all night, watching as the darkness slowly faded away into dawn, the sun rising high, daylight blocking the stars from view until twilight came round again. Water cup placed aside, knees drawn in, arms around them; Ael sat transfixed, barely aware of Movar’s presence as he leaned against the doorframe, PADD in hand, attention on her. The simple act of being allowed to sit in the breeze, stare up at the stars, allowing her mind to not just wander but run; the effect made Ael’s spirit feel light.

Ael stayed lost in the sight of the stars, in her thoughts until she heard Movar’s voice just behind, “Come, Ael. It is time for you to return to your room for the night.”

Without a word, Ael got to her feet, retrieved her dishes and turned to head inside, stopping long enough to gaze back over her shoulder, smiling at the sight of the moons in the heavens, a sight she doubted she would ever grow tired of.

“Thank you for the time outside,” said Ael once inside. “Especially since it’s so late. Could I stargaze a bit more tomorrow, earlier, I mean?”

“We shall see, winged one,” said Movar, Ael smiling in response to the bestowing of a nickname, one which often tended to follow those named Ael, the name meaning, simply, “winged”.

After a quick stop to place her bowl and cup in the sink, Ael headed back to her room, Movar in step beside her. Now that there was food in her stomach, the beauty of the night sky left behind, Ael became acutely aware of just how tired she felt. Yawning huge, eyelids drooping, Ael couldn’t wait to bury herself beneath the warm blanket, curl up tight and fall asleep with a smile on her lips. However, when they arrived at Ael’s room, instead of bidding Movar goodnight, changing into more appropriate nightclothes and then falling happily into bed, Ael came to a halt in the middle of the room, gaze focused on a point beyond the bed, mind once again caught up in wandering thought.

 _You know_ , Ael thought, turning to stare up at Movar, _he’s been so nice to me since I got here, and surely, he doesn’t have to be. By Romulan standards, he’s likely treating me better than I deserve. Still, in a way, it already feels like he really is my father now. I know, I can’t refer to him that way yet, not in the open, but I wonder if he’d let me hug him. All I want to do is step over, wrap my arms around him and hold tight. I know, he’s already allowed me to hug him twice now, but both times the situation was different. Oh, I don’t know…_

Rambling thoughts continued to endlessly ramble and confuse, Ael succumbing to a weary sigh and slightly slumping posture.

“What is it, Ael?” Movar asked, mildly concerned at the sudden hesitation, the look aimed at him, hopeful yet uncertain.

 _I should just tell him!_ Ael continued to wrestle with her thoughts. _He’s already proven he’s not a nasty person, and that on at least some level, he cares. Who in their right mind would be upset at a kid for asking for a bedtime hug? No one sane!_

Movar could almost see the invisible battle raging in Ael’s mind, the desire to pose a question imminent, something within asking her if she really should, while another part of her undoubtedly said, “yes”.

 _There appears to be much confusion within her_ , Movar thought. _What is it she needs that she cannot bear to ask?_

 _Oh, just say something!_ Ael, close to blurting out what she felt needed, stopped cold when something inside came back with, _what if he says no?_   Ael visibly cringed. That kind of rejection, coming from Movar, would hurt like nothing else. _I wouldn’t be able to handle it_ , she thought. Another look into the eyes of the one she could only see as a father; the patience in his eyes, the care, and now even mild concern, made up Ael’s mind for her.

Ael didn’t bother to ask permission, merely turned, stepped back over to Movar, wrapped her arms tightly around him and sighed deeply, allowing her eyes to close. The moment she felt his arms encircle her in return, Ael began to tremble, biting back the urge to weep with genuine thanks and joy.

 _Ah, so this is what she wanted or should I say, needed_ , Movar thought, Ael suddenly holding tighter, pushing in close, no doubt content. Unable to let him go, Ael held fast for several minutes, relishing the feeling of a good, solid hug from someone who just might give a damn about her.

A bond was well on its way to forming, already in the beginning stages. Some undoubtedly would have found such a notion absurd. As Movar stood there, holding Ael, providing her with yet another dose of fatherly comfort; he could only see a child in need of acceptance, a family. Two things she likely had never known much of before, if ever at all. There would be much work to do with the young one who, now, seemed to be half asleep on her feet, to help rid her mind and heart of the many things from the human world that continued to haunt and hinder.

For now, it would be best to get her to sleep.

Gently, Movar pulled Ael from the embrace, an easy feat now that she was beginning to doze. “Let us get you into bed,” said Movar, walking Ael the remaining few feet to the bed, allowing her to find a comfortable position before tucking the blanket loosely around both her and Mr. Mittens.

“Sleep well, winged one.” The lighting level now lowered, Movar began to quietly make his way from the room, catching a hint of quiet mumbling once he’d reached the door.

“Thank you,” Ael murmured, snuggling down into the quilt, stuffing the toy cat beneath her chin. _I love you…_ Oh, how she wished she could say it. All in good time perhaps.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Ugh, why do I feel like I’ve been hit by a warbird? My stomach; I feel like my guts are going to fall out through my navel. Why does it feel hotter than hell in here? Elements; what’s happening?_ **

**Less than six hours after the general had settled me in bed, I woke, feeling less than spectacular. The pleasant memories of sitting beneath that rich cobalt-blue sky, the endless sea of stars were gone, replaced by agonizing pain in my gut, debilitating fear that I might be dying. I sat up, pulled the curtains back, blinking hard against the bright light of the sun. Another lovely, clear day had dawned. I couldn’t have cared less.**

**Stomach fitfully protesting something, perhaps my late-night dinner, made me reconsider ever eating food again. A particularly sharp pain in my gut, turning into a violently painful spasm, forced me to cry out. Wrapping arms around my middle, I grit my teeth through the pain of – What exactly did I have?**

**It couldn’t be the flu, surely not in the late-spring, and I hadn’t actually been around anyone ill. Could it really have been the food? I supposed not every food on every world could be compatible with every species.**

**Concluding it had to have been something in that rich, deliciously wonderful meal I’d eaten only hours ago, I flopped back down in bed, hiding beneath the quilt, groaning like a dying animal. Could I not have one, wonderfully blissful day? Hiding under the covers didn’t help the pain, but it muffled the pitiful groaning, at least.**

**What really bothered me was that I, currently, still wasn’t behaving as Romulan as I felt. Back in the Imperial Hall, I’d spoken with strength, clarity, and confidence. Brazen and bold, refusing to be intimidated, at least when all eyes were on me. Since coming into the general’s home, I’ve cried at least six times, cowered on the floor in the kitchen, and behaved like a complete and utter _kuoku_. In other words, a baby. And now the general was going to see me gripped by painful spasms, moaning like I might be about to meet my Maker. **

**The thoughts caused a shuddering sigh. Oh well. It’s not like I’m not full of trauma or anything. It’ll all probably take a lifetime to overcome. Still, I wanted today to be good. It wasn’t shaping up to be.**

**The taste of bile, acrid, severely unpleasant hit my palate, throat burning in protest. Hand over my mouth, I tumbled from the bed in a hurry and bolted towards the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet, collapsing in front of it before something unfortunate happened.**

**Help was definitely warranted.**

**“Someone help,” I croaked hoarsely around the urge to keep gagging. I could barely hear my own voice, which definitely meant no one outside the room could hear it, either. Maybe it was a good thing. What if my calls for help attracted T’Rul, the girl who couldn’t stand the sight of me without damn near gagging herself? She’d probably suggest taking me out back and ending my misery with a disruptor shot to the face.**

**The general was the better choice, but something inside did not want him to see me like this, so pitifully weak, involuntary tears streaming unchecked down my cheeks. Admittedly, despite the care he’d already shown me more than once, I found some pretty bad thoughts swirling through my brain. I had never been experienced when it came to good memories and fathers, or any parent, really.**

**So, for the better part of ten minutes, I kept to myself, kneeling on the floor in the bathroom, head in the toilet, gagging my guts up. I think I might have thrown up a kidney. Finally, I managed to stand up and make it to the sink, rinsing out the foul taste of sick. Catching my reflection in the mirror caused a wince. I looked like complete and total hell. An ashen, ghostly complexion met my gaze, sweat dripping down my face even though I’d just splashed it with cool water from the tap. Even at my lowest, I don’t think the eyes staring back from the mirror had ever looked quite so listless.**

**Just when I thought to trudge back to bed, hiding beneath the blankets to be the best idea in eons, a new pain came out to say “hello!” Oh _goodie_ , abdominal cramps. _Wonderful_. After a different, very painful bout of… _other_ unfortunate events, I slowly trudged out of the bathroom, feeling worse than ever. Forget crawling into bed, my legs were so shaky that I fell on it, unable to muster the strength to pull up the quilt. **

**A knock fell on my door a few minutes later, likely someone come by to announce that breakfast was ready. Time for another rousing game of “I can’t come to the table because…”**

**I didn’t bother to answer. The door opened anyway. Opening a single eye, I had to work hard to suppress a different sort of groan. The shape of a girl, only one whom it could be, stepped over the threshold, staring over at the bed. Vision too blurry to make out her expression, I simply re-closed my eye.**

**“On your feet,” said T’Rul in a tone that bore nearly no emotion. “My father told me to come to collect you for the morning meal. He’d rather you not be absent from the table this morning.”**

**“I -” That was about as far as I got. Talking took way too much energy. Without meaning to, I groaned, arms wrapping tight around my abdomen.**

**When T’Rul spoke next, she sounded ridiculously confused, though still a touch nasty. “What in the names of the Elements is the matter?”**

**I very nearly told her where to go shove it, to kindly get lost if she could only be a pain. When I didn’t answer the question, T’Rul took it upon herself to move closer to the bed. Opening both eyes this time, I saw T’Rul hovering close, almost over the top of me, those blue eyes scrutinizing, taking in every detail. A moment later and T’Rul gave a hearty sniff. At first, I thought she might be proclaiming, in not so many words, her superiority, my lowliness, but then her head turned, gaze lit upon the washroom. Superior Romulan olfactory senses clued T’Rul in on the fact I’d been spewing, among other things, for the last little while.**

**Without a word, T’Rul helped herself to the edge of the bed, perching there lightly, placing the back of her hand against my cheeks, and then placing her palm against my sweaty forehead. Once her hand fell away from my brow, it landed on my wrist, two fingers pressing in on a pulse point. T’Rul concentrated on keeping count of the beats of my heart, even though I knew Romulan and human anatomy differed greatly from one another. I wondered how she knew what was normal for me. The resting heart rate of the average Romulan citizen clocked between two hundred and forty-two and two hundred and forty-five beats per minute, excessively rapid when compared to a human heart. Our body temperatures differed quite a bit too, a Romulan’s core temperature a hair below forty centigrade; T’Rul’s hand actually felt quite warm to the touch.**

**“Wh-what are you doing?” I breathlessly stammered, attempting to sit up. A hand on my back kept me still for another moment more.**

**“Checking your vital signs,” said T’Rul and not in any way that said she thought me to be stupid. Whatever this was, it was a far cry from how she’d been behaving the last two days. “Your heart rate is a bit too quick for my liking, and you feel mildly feverish.” Momentarily, she glanced back toward the washroom. “Have you been vomiting?”**

**“Why do you suddenly care so much?”**

**“Please answer.”**

**_Oh, so you’ve escalated to using common pleasantries now_ ** **, I nearly spat. Had she treated me a little less like a worm, a bit more like a person from the get-go, I’d have probably been nicer. Feeling like I had an ice pick stabbed through my mid-section certainly didn’t help my mood. “Yes,” I said. “And other stuff.”**

**“I am assuming you mean Illhrei’sian,” she said, referencing what I had been doing after the vomiting episode like it was no big deal. It was odd to hear her sounding so business-like yet mildly concerned.**

**“I’m confused,” I croaked out. “Why do you suddenly act as if you care? Why aren’t you standing in the doorway, grinning from ear-to-ear, chuckling at how horrid I feel?” Honestly, I’d expected it.**

**T’Rul’s expression told me I’d caused a hint of offense. “The reason is that I’m a healer,” she said seriously, a little defensively. “One thing that sets me apart from most Romulans is the low-tolerance I have for watching others suffer, especially innocents, no matter their race.”**

**“Would you gladly patch up a Klingon?” I curiously asked. Romulans hated Klingons with more intense passion than they hated humans.**

**“Yes.” I almost couldn’t believe the lack of hesitation but there it was.**

**“Does that mean once you’ve discovered whatever -” The urge to be sick interrupted my thoughts. T’Rul understood where I’d been going. When I felt better, I had a feeling we’d be back to being rivals. Not that I wanted to be.**

**Sighing, T’Rul said, “Listen, you can hardly blame me for being wary, suspicious, though I suppose one could say it isn’t an excuse. Romulan children are raised a certain way, taught ideals that most in the galaxy might not necessarily find palatable. We aren’t exactly taught to harbor love or trust for those outside the empire.”**

**“I know.” What else could I say?**

**“However,” said T’Rul, staring at a little bird that decided to sit and sing on the windowsill, “my father chose to not only allow you to remain on the surface but decided to foster you, allowing you into this home, to become a member of its family. There must be a reason for it, likely one that I cannot yet understand. He has never given me a reason to doubt him before, and so I will not now. Even so, you must allow me time; I do not yet know you. With the way I’ve been raised, I find relinquishing trust outside of certain members of the family, difficult at best.”**

**I considered it a start. Before I could respond, the worst pain yet sliced through my abdomen. I really wasn’t sure what I’d done in a past life to warrant such pain. “What did I do to myself?”**

**“Did you eat at any point last night?” Wearily, I nodded. Tilting her head, T’Rul succumbed to a moment of thought, then it hit her. “I would willingly wager anything that it was the tolekyra root in last night’s meal.”**

**“And just what is that?” I begged, demanded to know.**

**“A root vegetable that is prized for its delicate flavors but that must be cooked just so to avoid what you are now going through. They can never be ingested raw.” She sighed slightly. “It would appear those of humanoid physiology cannot eat them at all.”**

**“Great,” I moaned painfully. “Made it this far only to be taken out by a vegetable.”**

**“Though it may feel like the end is near,” said T’Rul noticing my gaze on the quilt, removing it out from under my legs, pulling it up, “you are not in danger of death.”**

**It sure felt like it. When I slipped beneath the quilt, I felt T’Rul rise to her feet. Quickly, I called her back, pleading for her to stay. “Ael, I must get my father, and something to help ease your discomfort.”**

**“Do you have to tell him?” If I had a little time to clean up, maybe he didn’t have to see me so disheveled. I peeked out from beneath the quilt to see T’Rul with a disbelieving stare.**

**“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”**

**“Because,” I began to admit, “save for one instance, back at the Capitol, the one which made him decide I was worth something; all I’ve shown him I’m good for since then is sobbing like a little girl and cowering in the corner.”**

**When I heard T’Rul say, “I’m sorry for contributing to that,” before leaving the room; I have to admit feeling stunned. If only I’d known to fall ill sooner. Maybe, then, T’Rul would have been a hell of a lot nicer from the start.**

**Stunned feeling aside, I momentarily cursed T’Rul for leaving the door open, the scent of breakfast, warm and savory, probably delicious, wafted in from down the hall. On a normal day, the smell would have enticed bouncing out of bed, probably running straight to the table while still in nightclothes. Today, the smell induced a bit of gagging. The covers went back over my head. It filtered out the breakfast-y smells. I waited for what felt like hours, begging any deity in existence to not allow the vomiting to begin again. I definitely didn’t want the general seeing me in such a state, but to be caught with my head in the toilet… That would have been beyond humiliating.**

**However long T’Rul was gone, I had no clue, but I had nearly dropped off to sleep when the sound of footsteps in the hall, one set precise in motion, the other a bit softer, brought me back. The sudden scent in the air; had someone brought food? It didn’t smell appetizing. Something clinked as it was placed on the bedside table. Slowly, I peeked out from beneath the quilt, leaving my nose covered because the offending smell, coming from the teacup now nearly at eye level, made my stomach lurch in protest. At least there was a cup of water sitting beside it.**

**Before I could bother even trying to sit up, I looked up at the general, my eyes creasing in silent apology for yet another problem. I had never felt weaker in front of anyone. When he sat on the edge of the bed, concern in his eyes, a hand on my forehead, I did the currently-normal thing of bursting into tears. I just didn’t know what else to do or how to feel.**

**…**

After the immediate influx of tears and unnecessary apologies, Ael reached out, comforted when Movar took her hand. “I’m s-so sorry,” she said again, using her free hand to wipe at her eyes.

“The apologies are unnecessary, Ael,” Movar promised, passing a little blinking device over her trembling body. “This is merely an unfortunate circumstance; you are in no way at fault.”

 _Then why do I feel like it?_ Ael almost blurted. “Do I have a fever?” Ael asked instead. Unfortunately, she did, a hair over one hundred degrees. Nothing to worry excessively about at the moment, miserable nonetheless.

“One-point-five degrees above normal,” muttered T’Rul to herself upon glancing at the device. Ael wondered how the older girl seemed to know so much about her anatomy. Instead of asking, Ael groaned in discomfort, suddenly longing for the privacy of the washroom. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep from being sick.

Slowly easing into a sitting position, Ael hesitantly accepted an ivory-colored teacup into shaking hands. Movar had to keep a hand beneath the cup so Ael didn’t drop the pinkish-purple, somewhat foul-smelling contents, all over herself and the bed.

“What is it?” Ael visibly recoiled after a single sniff, turning her head away, blinking hard against watery eyes.

“A rather potent herbal remedy known for how swiftly it combats nausea. It should also lessen the stomach cramps considerably.”

 _It smells like hatred in a cup_ , Ael thought, wrinkling her nose but taking a tentative sip, nearly spitting it right back out. “I can’t,” Ael said instantly, pushing the cup away.

“Honestly, I had a feeling that would be the reaction but I had to try. At least have a few sips of water. Your constant trips to the washroom are going to leave your body severely dehydrated. “

Movar holding the cup steady, Ael managed several sips of water, immediately wishing she’d taken none. Muscle aches from a dehydrated body would be better than intense nausea stemming from three sips of room-temperature water. Gaze flicking back toward the washroom, Ael began to debate the issue of whether or not to run for it or ask if Movar and T’Rul could step outside for a few minutes.

_T'Rul may be a doctor, healer, whatever! But I don’t want her hearing… Elements, I feel so damn embarrassed._

Summoning all available courage, Ael meekly asked for some privacy. The only issue in receiving it came down to Ael’s tight grip on Movar’s hand. She wanted him to go, she needed him near. She supposed she should let father and daughter get to their breakfast before it got cold, or she threw up all over the bed, forcing them to lose their appetites altogether.

“We will return shortly, Ael,” Movar reassured once she finally let him go. Nodding sadly but gratefully, Ael watched them depart, waiting until their footsteps had gone before tumbling out of bed and making a beeline for the washroom.

The next fifteen minutes were spent alternating between painful problems, Ael wondering if this might be what the beginning stages of death felt like. At least the cramps, now, seemed less. Rinsing her mouth, splashing water on her warm cheeks, Ael dragged her weary body back to bed, all the while cursing that “damned potato-like thing” that had made her so sick.

Ael spent the next ten minutes staring at the door, waiting for someone to return, falling asleep ten minutes before T’Rul poked her head into the room. It came as a relief to see the ailing girl finally asleep.

T’Rul stepped quietly over to Ael’s bedside, gently pressing two fingers to her neck. At least her heart was no longer beating quite so quickly. Beside the bed, the cup of water remained full and untouched. T’Rul made a mental note to try Ael with a little cup of ice chips when next she woke.

“I might sit with her for a while,” said T’Rul when her father came by. “She’s dozing but I have a feeling it won’t be for terribly long.”

“I have some work to see to,” he said, adding, “I will return to check on her in two hours. If I am needed before then, you know where to find me.”

Once Movar left to go attend to his work, T’Rul took two minutes to go back to her room and retrieve a PADD, to catch up on some studies while sitting at Ael’s bedside. The desk chair pulled up to near the head of the bed, T’Rul sat, staring at her PADD yet unable to concentrate.

Instead, she found her thoughts wandering, reliving the moments since Ael had come. The day Ael arrived had been somewhat a surprise. Oh, her father had told her, half a ten-day prior that the possibility of a new arrival into the home might be something to prepare for, T’Rul’s eyes widening in horror, disgust when she learned of the fact the newcomer wasn’t Romulan, but human by design.

An incredulous expression had lit her face, confusion and disbelief filled her normally patient stare. A _human_ in their home? _Why?_ Humans were nothing but trouble! Disloyal, treacherous! What made this one so trust-worthy, worth the potential risk of dishonor if she suddenly decided to turn away, running back to the Federation? Once in their home, formally fostered, Ael would become Movar’s responsibility as if he’d been the one to sire her. Their family didn’t need trouble because of humans.

Knowing she wouldn’t win a heated argument, T’Rul didn’t challenge her father further. The day Ael had come into their home, seemingly out of nowhere, T’Rul had been meditating in the gardens, clearing her head after a restless night’s sleep. Hearing the flitter in the distance, T’Rul had gone inside, irritation flooding through her at the sounds of two sets of footsteps in the entryway. It had only taken T’Rul a moment to decide to don the fanciest set of clothing she owned, preparing to intimidate, potentially threaten the new arrival away. The pair had met near the sitting room, Ael definitely intimidated, more fearful than T’Rul had thought. Her haughty manner, the cruel way she’d lowered her voice, the addition of vocal inflections making her sound downright evil; T’Rul regretted ever having done it.

After that incident, a childish scolding had come, T’Rul infuriated, blaming Ael for the verbal chastisement she’d been forced to endure. Evening fell, Ael missed dinner; T’Rul poked angrily at her plate, going to bed early though she didn’t sleep for hours, the time spent wondering why her father had chosen to bring Ael into their home. What did he see in her, and why did he want to take such a risk on a human, especially given past experiences.

The following day came a bit too early for T’Rul’s liking, a confrontation breaking out in the kitchen, Ael insisting she had only been trying to make breakfast, all the while causing a good deal of mess. This time, Ael held her ground instead of running away. Only when Movar entered into the equation did Ael’s manner dramatically shift gears. T’Rul had to admit she’d been startled at the sight of the small human girl cowering on the floor against the cabinets.

After breakfast, Ael back in her room, T’Rul had received an even longer talking-to than the previous afternoon. And then another that evening, when Ael had, in not so many words made it clear that she hadn’t been able to leave her room at all that day mostly due to “certain reasons.” It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.

One more instance of belligerent, dishonoring attitude toward anyone under the home’s roof and T’Rul had a feeling she might be the recipient of a warmed backside, something she’d not had the displeasure of receiving since childhood. Assuring her father this last lecture would stick, T’Rul mentally began to prepare for treating Ael with false politeness yet politeness all the same.

Then this morning had come, T’Rul annoyed at the prospect of having to drag Ael out of bed to come to the table, masking the feeling with a simple, “Yes, Father,” before heading down to Ael’s room, finding the new arrival as sick as anything.

The instinct to care for those who presented unwell prompted T’Rul to begin going through the motions of diagnosis. After which, the two had briefly discussed why T’Rul had been so callous the previous days, at least in part. T’Rul had offered an apology, heading to fetch her father, and prepare an old remedy that Ael hadn’t been able to stomach smelling.

And now here they were; one resting as peacefully as possible, the other keeping quiet watch over someone whom she had loathed at the first mention of her name.

A quiet groan forced T’Rul to abandon her thoughts, and she placed the ignored PADD down on the nightstand. She wasn’t going to bother with a phrase as asinine as “how are you feeling?” when there had clearly been no change. T’Rul thought Ael looked worse than before breakfast, sweat standing out in a thin layer across her body.

“Why does it feel like it’s a thousand degrees in here?” Ael groaned and kicked off the quilt.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if your fever’s risen a bit.” Lifting the device from earlier off the nightstand, T’Rul proceeded to check Ael’s temperature, finding it up another half-point. Securing a dampened face cloth from the washroom, T’Rul sat near, proceeding to stroke the item gently over Ael’s face and neck. Ael released a slightly relieved breath and then suddenly rolled to her side, wrapped arms around her middle, curling up in a little ball of agony.

“I am never eating another vegetable as long as I live,” said Ael through her teeth, only half-kidding.

“Certainly not another tolekyra root.” T’Rul was glad she didn’t consider that particular vegetable to be high up on her list of favorites. They were likely never to buy another.

Ael was halfway through a request for something to take away the pain in the middle when she bolted from the bed, nearly knocking T’Rul over in a sudden mad dash for the washroom. A plaintive cry for help reached T’Rul within half a minute, the older girl soon down on the floor with Ael, one hand pressing a cool cloth to her forehead, the other busily holding back the long coppery-red tendrils of hair to keep them from falling into the toilet every time Ael retched. By the smell of things, it had likely happened once already.

By the time Ael finished the painful task of uselessly retching up acrid bile, she was ready to crawl into bed and sleep for the next month. Exhaustion, however, had other plans. “I’m not sure I can stand up,” Ael admitted tiredly from the floor. “Maybe I should just sleep here; it’ll save me the energy of running back and forth.”

“You would never be able to rest with the smell of sick lodged in your nose.” _You’re small enough to carry if it comes down to it_ , T’Rul thought. Slowly, carefully T’Rul helped Ael up off the floor, helping her traverse the route from the bathroom to bed without collapsing from weariness. Once settled in, Ael found it difficult to go back to sleep. T’Rul contemplated retrieving a mild sedative from the stocked med kit, as well as a potent analgesic; some anti-nausea medication wouldn’t hurt, either.

Meanwhile, Ael only had eyes for her bedroom door, staring silently, waiting for a certain person to return, to sit with her, reassure her that everything would be OK. While it was nice, appreciated to have T’Rul at her bedside, Ael felt the longing for parental reassurance and care most of all. “You’re lucky, T’Rul,” Ael said suddenly, the involuntary tears on her cheeks beginning to dry.

“How so?”

“You’ve been sick before, right?” T’Rul nodded. “Well cared for?” Another nod; T’Rul found herself curious as to the reasons for Ael’s line of questioning. “That’s why you’re lucky.” A little sniffle; the next set of tears probably wasn’t going to be of the involuntary sort. “You have a father who would do anything in the world for you, protect you with his life, love you with all his heart, comfort you when hurt or ailing; you have a father who would care for you always, even the times you think you’re too old to receive it.”

Where had all this come from? Tipping her head, T’Rul said, “Such is a father’s inherent duty.” Then T’Rul caught the saddened stare Ael had fixated on the door to her room, a longing in her eyes, available to see and read like an open book.

“All fathers are not like yours,” said Ael quietly.

A quick flash of events from the last two days came to T’Rul’s mind, all the times Ael had apologized for nothing, cowering on the floor with arms shielding her body, the painfully apologetic, mildly fearful way she had stared earlier at Movar, somehow afraid of making him angry, of being severely punished for ending up so ill, feeling like a burden, failing to come to the table for yet a third time.

 _Your father hurt you, didn’t he_? T’Rul nearly asked. She probably shouldn’t pry into Ael’s past quite so soon.

“Are you leaving?” Ael asked worriedly when T’Rul took to her feet.

“Only for a few minutes,” T’Rul said. “I’m going to get you a hypo or two, see if we can’t lessen the pain you’re in, at least for a few hours.” T’Rul made a silent decision to also fetch her father. Perhaps it would be best if he sat with her for a while; Ael seemed to desperately need his presence.

A set of hypos, one containing both analgesic and anti-nausea medication, the other a mild sedative, were quickly retrieved from the med kit, easily prepped, slipped into T’Rul’s pocket for safe keeping. Movar’s private office, located on the upstairs level, took a minute to walk to, even quickly, T’Rul announcing her presence by way of a door chime to the right of the door, stepping inside when told to enter. One look at T’Rul’s face and Movar set his PADD down on the desk.

“I take it Ael is not faring well.”

“That is a bit of an understatement,” T’Rul said with a sigh and patted her pocket. “I took the liberty of fetching two hypos for her; I think it may be the only way she is going to have any hope of lengthy, uninterrupted rest. However,” she continued before her father could respond, “hypos aside, I believe she will rest easier, be calmer if you were the one at her bedside.”

Agreed and understood, Movar picked up the PADD on his desk and followed T’Rul down to Ael’s room, receiving an update on the goings-on of the past hour. Everything from the debilitating cramps that had her curled up beneath the quilt in a little ball, to the long period spent retching helplessly into the toilet, ending with T’Rul very nearly needing to carry the much smaller teenager back to bed. And then T’Rul told about the longing in Ael’s eyes as she’d gazed at the door, the incredible sadness in her voice when she spoke of T’Rul’s good fortune, having been blessed with a father who loved her more than the world itself.

“I’ve noticed how she looks at you,” T’Rul said. “Though I never quite understood the meaning behind the glances, the behavior until this moment. When she stared at that door; Ael was waiting for you to return, wondering why you hadn’t; she wonders if what I have can also, somehow be hers. The way she looked up at you earlier, as though you are capable of fixing any problem in the world…” _Exactly the way a daughter would look at her father in times of uncertainty or distress._

The unfinished sentence needed no end; Movar knew exactly the way Ael saw him. Then there was the fact she’d already, almost said “daddy” to him once before. It didn’t take the worlds most gifted mind to understand Ael’s quiet longing.

A set of pained, tired eyes lit up when Movar entered the room; Ael tried to smile, to show how happy it was to have him near. _Daddy_ , Ael longed to cry out, _I need you._

Appearing weak or not Ael didn’t care; when Movar sat on the edge of the bed, Ael, though it taxed what was left of her energy to move, readjusted her position until she had succeeded in curling up on Movar’s lap, still partially wrapped in the quilt. Though Ael’s eyes told of the pain in her body, they also told of her newfound comfort.

 _Your presence helped as much as expected_ , T’Rul thought, watching, fascinated by Ael’s sudden switch in demeanor. Pitifully mewling one moment, absolutely silent the second she found safe refuge in Movar’s arms.

T’Rul slipped the hypos from her pocket, handing them off to her father who dispensed the first of the two, to Ael. A deep, shuddering sigh escaped when the pain began to ease, shoulders sagging as the waves of nausea subsided.

“Thank you,” Ael said, wondering if it would be a good time to try and drink some water. With a bit of gentle coaxing, Movar managed to get a quarter of the cup of water into Ael. Thankfully, it stayed down. Then she said, before drifting off to sleep without the need for a sedative, “I don’t know what I would ever do without you.”

While most would have undoubtedly been confused by the words, Movar, at least to some extent, understood.

 

 

…

 

**“Ugh, what happened? Did anyone see what the hell ran me over?” Those were the first words I uttered beneath my quilt when I woke around what my body considered to be five in the early evening. To Romulus, the time had just landed on eighteenth hour. I wondered if I would ever get the hang of time on this world, the extra one-point-five hours in each day, an extra three days in a week.**

**Slowly, the quilt found its way off my head. The curtains were drawn, the lighting level in the room dim, comfortable. The more awake I became, the more discomfort I found myself in. Aches and pains made themselves at home in virtually every muscle, likely due to severe dehydration, making it incredibly painful to sit up. Head throbbing, stomach violently churning; I really hadn’t felt this horrendous in a while.**

**Finally, I managed to sit up, noticing a glass of water on my nightstand that, earlier, I could barely stomach a few sips of. It still didn’t look terribly appealing, but I was pretty thirsty. Maybe a few little sips wouldn’t hurt. As I sat there in the mostly darkened room, sipping at a glass of tepid water, I allowed my mind to wander. It wandered back to earlier in the day, starting with how I’d woken up, sick as a dog, wishing for death.**

**My thoughts jumped ahead to when T’Rul had come into the room, confused at my sudden sickness, suddenly all business as she tended to my comfort and well-being. And then the general had come; I didn’t think it was possible to hold someone’s hand quite so tight. Letting go had also been a bit of a problem, my painful stomach forcing it when I’d meekly asked for privacy, so I could retch and vomit without either of them overhearing me. I’d fallen asleep shortly after trudging my weary way back to bed, hiding beneath the quilt in tears, waking a while later. T’Rul had come back, sitting with me while she read from a PADD. Well, OK, so while she _had_ a PADD, she seemed to be concentrating on something on the wall behind my bed, staring into space, something on her mind. **

**At last, the pain upon waking had been too much, as had our very short talk, and T’Rul, after leaving her PADD on my nightstand, went to secure a hypo for me. Thankfully, she also got her father, someone I’d been silently pining away for all the while curled up in bed in some of the worst pain ever. When I’d heard the second set of footsteps coming down the hall upon T’Rul’s return; an overwhelming tide of emotion crashed into me. After he’d come into the room, when he’d sat on the edge of the bed to stroke the sweaty hair out of my eyes in a fatherly way; I couldn’t help myself and curled up right on his lap like a child. Thank the Elements I’m barely five feet tall.**

**How long he’d been with me, I don’t know. I had my usual crying spell, something I desperately would like to _stop_ doing at the drop of a hat, had a few sips of water, clung to the man I could only see as daddy until my tired body decided that, since I was out of pain, I might as well fall back to sleep. I have no idea how long I’d stayed in his arms for. Something deep down tells me it was a while. **

**Once my mind had (mostly) finished wandering, I noticed the glass of water drained halfway. A sudden gurgling in my middle told me drinking so much probably hadn’t been the smartest of ideas. Cue running to the washroom as though my very life depended on it.**

**What a fine way to greet the evening. This would be absence number four from the dinner table. Or would it be five? One of these days, I would have a proper meal with the family. Instead of flopping back down into bed, exhausted from the happenings behind the closed washroom door, I chose to sit on the floor, back braced against the bed. Reaching beneath, I extracted my satchel, my journal from that. The dim lighting of the room made it difficult to see, so I called forth a hint of light. At first glance, my past scribbles and scrawls were difficult to understand. It seems the language lessons T’Jal had given me, stuck.**

**“Hmm, I guess I should copy these down in English before I lose the ability to read them,” I mused aloud. I had pretty much all of the entries memorized but even so, I didn’t want to lose my ability to read them. For a half hour, I leafed through the pages, stopping only when the door to my room carefully opened. T’Rul peeked in, stepping into the room when she caught sight of me on the floor. All at once, the concerned expression returned, and then she was kneeling beside me on the floor, hand on my shoulder.**

**“Ael? Are you all right? Did you fall?”**

**“No,” I said, closing my journal not that she could have read it. “After I woke up, I think I might have had a little too much water. I got sick. _Again_.” Now, I just sounded annoyed. “It still feels too warm in here; the floor feels cooler than the bed, though.”**

**A hand passed over my forehead, and then the little device from earlier, pulled from T’Rul’s pocket, came into play. Seconds after the little thing scanned me, T’Rul announced that, while I still had a fever, it had fallen by half a degree. Progress.**

**Yawning, I asked, “How long did I sleep for?”**

**“Nearly eight hours.”**

**“Could I ask you something?” About earlier; I had to know. A nod confirmed I could ask, so I said, a little hesitantly, “How long did you and your father stay with me earlier?”**

**“We both stayed with you for half an hour, at which point, I had to take a trip to the marketplace. Father stayed with you while I was away, over an hour. He stayed for an hour past my return.”**

**_How long did he hold me?_ ** **I wanted to ask. It felt too weird so I held off. “Thank you for staying,” I said instead, my gaze suddenly downcast. “Thank your father for me, too, if you see him before I fall asleep again.”**

**A gentle pat on my shoulder forced my eyes up, gaze locking with T’Rul’s who gave me a small yet genuine smile. Maybe, once I got over this bout of food poisoning, we wouldn’t return to feuding. The thought made me smile, too.**

**While I remained on the floor, T’Rul got to her feet to check my bedding, informing me I’d soaked the sheets a bit with sweat. Before changing them, T’Rul asked if I would like a bath. The thought was extremely appealing. I had been almost lustfully eyeing that huge tub since the first time I’d set eyes on it.**

**“That would be nice,” I said. “Oh, what do I change into afterward? All of my clothes, what few I have, are in need of washing.”**

**“I can lend you something, though it may be a bit big on you.” As long as I had something clean to wear, I didn’t mind it being baggy. After running my bath, offering me a basket to toss my laundry into so it could be washed, T’Rul left me to have my bath in peace. Even though I felt too hot already, the warmth of the bathwater, tinged lavender due to the addition of bath salts, felt heavenly to my aches and pains. Sighing, sinking down until only my head remained out of the water, I closed my eyes, feeling truly content for the first time since I’d come into my new home.**

**With a clear head, not a worry on my mind, I relaxed in the tub for nearly an hour, taking care not to slip away into a contented doze. Every now and again, a hint of nausea would remind me of my illness but other than that, the soak had helped me feel better. Using what little energy remained to wash both hair and body, I stepped out of the tub and drained the water, wrapping up warmly in an oversized jade green towel.**

**While drying, I took a little peek at myself in the mirror, gasping at the reflection staring back. Despite sleeping virtually all day, and now an hour-long soak; I wasn’t sure how it could be that I still looked like I’d fallen on Death’s doorstep. Wrinkling my nose at my reflection, I cracked open the bathroom door, stepping out once I confirmed the coast to be clear. The washing basket near the bathroom door had vanished, and the bed had been fitted with clean sheets and a new cover for the quilt, turned down if more sleep was desired.**

**On the bed, I found a change of clothing, something that could easily double as sleepwear or just to lounge around the house in. Holding it up, I thought it looked like the lounging robes I’d seen Vulcans wear on Stargazer, the times I’d seen them playing chess up in the lounge. Colored like the sand of the desert, goldenrod with hints of sunset red, the robe flowed around me, swallowing me up like a sinkhole one might also find in some areas of desert-land. I definitely needed new clothes. Still, it was comfortable, the material cool against my sweaty skin.**

**Exhausted from the day, I returned the towel to the washroom, returning to sit on the bed, hairbrush in my lap. It had been a day or two since I’d properly brushed it. Now, if only I could find some extra energy. Just when I had been about to call it quits, tying my hair back into a loose ponytail, a knock sounded.**

**“Come in.” T’Rul had come by to check on me.**

**“Feel better after your bath?” T’Rul asked, placing a cup of pale pink liquid down on the nightstand. “Water with electrolyte crystals,” she explained as I curiously examined the contents of the glass. Dehydrated and needing to drink, yet not so sure I could. Still, I took a couple of little sips, determined to keep them down.**

**“The bath helped,” I said. “I feel ridiculously out of energy, though. I’ve been trying to brush out my hair for the past ten minutes, barely succeeding I should add.” I tried to laugh but even that felt too taxing. A moment later and T’Rul saw to the task of meticulously brushing out my hair. The sensations nearly put me back to sleep.**

**“That should do for now. Here, see if you can hold another sip of water. I would rather you not dehydrate further lest you care to be set up on a drip to replenish the lost fluid.”**

**I decided not to see if she was only kidding, taking another two sips of water before shaking my head and replacing the glass down on the nightstand. Despite my reaction to the water, T’Rul, then, asked if I might like to try and eat. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I said honestly.**

**“My father prepared a mild broth for you if you would like to try a small cup full.”**

**Prepared not replicated; knowing the general had gone to the trouble of preparing something just for me… It made me want to try, despite the unhappy, gurgling noises coming from my tummy.**

**So, T’Rul left and I stayed sitting up in bed, sure if my head hit the pillow that I’d be out cold till sunrise. Moments later and it wasn’t T’Rul’s footsteps I heard coming down the hall. Staring at the door expectantly, I smiled tiredly but happily when the general made an appearance. Other than the tired smile, I offered a little wave, a sleepy, “Hello.”**

**Likely because of the fact I was suddenly shivering, the cup of nearly odorless broth, pale amber in color, joined the cup of water on my nightstand rather than being pressed gently into my hands. The second the general perched on the edge of my bed, the instant I longed to crawl into his lap, like I had earlier, curl up against his chest and doze off. I refrained from that, only just, leaning in for a hug instead, sighing contentedly when the gesture was accepted and returned.**

**“Thank you for staying with me earlier,” I said. “And for making me something separate for dinner even though I’m not sure I’ll be able to eat much.”**

**“It was no trouble, Ael,” he assured me, allowing me to remain cuddled close. Eventually, I pulled out of the embrace, turning toward the steaming cup of broth on the nightstand. Licking my dry lips, I decided a sip couldn’t hurt. Besides, I didn’t want to keep the general or his daughter from their dinner.**

**Lifting the cup, I took a tentative sniff; the scent subtle. A small sip made it past my lips and down my throat, the taste as subtle as the scent. On a normal day, perhaps a cold one, I might have found a cup of this broth pleasing. This wasn’t a normal day. I quickly regretted taking a sip of anything. It made me mad, frustrated. Such a simple thing, drinking a bit of broth, and I couldn’t do it.**

**The general offered reassurance with a, “It is all right, Ael,” clearly able to see my frustration.**

**“After you went to all the trouble to prepare this,” I mumbled sadly. “I tried.” Slowly, I placed the cup back on the nightstand, biting back an apology that I knew wasn’t necessary.**

**He reassured me, again, that it had been no trouble to prepare the broth, to have some only if I felt I could stomach it, and that sipping on my glass of water would be far more beneficial. Another round of pressing close to the general’s side seemed to be in order. It felt comforting, nice. So did what came later.**

**After the general and T’Rul had had their meal, me staying holed up in my room to avoid becoming ill from the scent of normally delicious smells, I finally left the confines of my bedroom, escorted down to the large sitting room where I spent a lovely hour with my new family. We did little more than relax, a comfortable silence filling the room that had me at ease. T’Rul sat in one of the large leather chairs situated around the glass coffee table, a large book open on her lap, a PADD on the armrest. The general also had a book, one that looked to be over a thousand pages long, hardbound, worn a bit around the edges from countless re-reads.**

**Though I could have curled up in one of those large, comfortable chairs like a contented feline, much like T’Rul, I again chose to be as close to Daddy as possible. A part of me wondered what he would say if he knew how I saw him, though I’m pretty sure he already suspected. In any case, my size allowed me to fit easily beside him in one of those chairs, a decorative blanket in the colors of sunset wrapped warmly around me.**

**I’m glad I’d accepted the invitation to the sitting room instead of falling back to sleep. Sitting with them; it was better than being in my room alone, sobbing myself to sleep from the misery that was food poisoning, hoping to fall over dead at some point because the pain in my middle felt too much to bear. At least, here, I could stand the discomfort more easily, riding out the little waves of nausea with some slow, deep breathing. I wanted nothing to interrupt the time of tranquil quiet.**

**I had all night to be a sick, miserable mess.**

**…**

Ael’s earlier thoughts had indeed come to fruition. Not long after settling into bed, a half hour to be precise, Ael made a beeline for the washroom, a hand over her mouth, the other hitching up the borrowed sleeping robe that was a few sizes too big. On her way back to bed, Ael stopped dead in the center of the room, the shadows of the wind-blown trees on the curtains filling her with sudden unease. Had the dark of night always been so overwhelming?

 _Sometimes_ , she recalled. At the moment, in the darkness, feeling miserably sick, alone and uneasy; Ael thought back to earlier in the evening, how she had been gently cared for, held without question, soothed to sleep, lovingly reassured. _He cared for me when he didn’t have to_ , she thought, stepping over to her bed, grabbing hold of Mr. Mittens by his ratty old tail. _I wonder if it would be OK if I tried to find him? I don’t know why I suddenly feel so uneasy but I don’t like it. If he really does care, maybe he wouldn’t mind…_

Being cared for in her own, private room was a far different beast than wandering the estate in search of the master suite, opening the door, slipping quietly inside, helping herself to the bed, cuddling close to the only occupant as though she really was his daughter, frightened in the night, seeking the safe refuge that was her father. 

The decision to search was soon made for her, the slap of a tree branch against the windowpane causing Ael to startle, sending her bolting from the room still holding the stuffed cat by its tail.

Soft lighting in the halls illuminated the walls a dusty, silvery-blue, Ael less than comforted by their presence. She looked right, then left, unsure where to go. Up the hall, down a corridor to the right, Ael spied a door slightly ajar. Peeking in, she saw T’Rul curled up in bed, sound asleep. Leaving the door as she found it, Ael turned away, moving up one corridor, down another before coming to a grand staircase. Figuring the worst that could happen would be getting lost, Ael headed up the stairs, turning right at the top, finding her way to a set of double doors at the end of the long hall, marking the entryway for the master bedroom.

Heart beating fast, the tears beginning to pool in her eyes; Ael stood still, gazing up at the door as if expecting it to open, for Movar to know she was there, to come to rescue her from the overwhelming emotions that she could barely make sense of. Twice, she almost knocked, losing her nerve, unsure why. At last, Ael did what any child seeking comfort would do: She opened the door as quietly as could be and tiptoed inside.

Lights near the entryway, much like the ones in the hall, softly lit the base of the walls, allowing Ael to see where to step. The sleeping area lay just ahead, Movar dead to the world, unaware of the visitor who’d quietly let herself inside. The urge to run to the bed, hop in, snuggle close nudged her feet forward by another small step.

 _Just go!_ But she couldn’t. Suddenly, Ael felt paralyzed by fear, a flashback carrying her away to the one, the only time she ever dared seek out her parent’s bed when she’d had a nightmare at the age of five. The memory nearly forced out a frightened, confused sob. Further thoughts entered Ael’s mind, thoughts she wanted no part of. _What if he was only so gentle with me because of this sickness? I’ve just come into his room without asking, in the middle of the night. What if it makes him mad and he…hurts me?_

Shaking her head hard, she screamed to herself, _No! He would never do that!_ Without warning, the tears came. Vision blurred, thoughts swimming with painful memories, Ael stepped forward, closer to the bed. Tentatively, she reached out toward the one who had the power to make it all OK. A sob slipped out and Movar stirred. The sound, a familiar one from his years as a father, cut through the silence of the night and into his dreamscape. The sound came again, Ael finally allowing her sobs to carry her urgent sense of need. Stomach aching, head throbbing, Ael stepped two steps closer. Almost there!

The cries of a distressed child forced Movar back into consciousness. Pained, frightened, soft, unsure; there could only be one to whom the cries could belong. The lighting level of the room increased yet remained easy on tired eyes, eyes which landed on Ael, a foot away from the bed and looking as miserable as could be. Her hair was disheveled, most having come loose from her ponytail, tearstains standing wet on her cheeks; a balled fist scrubbed at her eyes, her other holding tight to an old toy.

Ael’s eyes told of her longing, her desperate need for comfort and security, they also told of a deep-seated fear of the past, apologizing silently for, possibly, having made her way into a room she wasn’t welcome into. But she _was_ welcome. How could anyone be angered by a frightened child seeking solace? Obviously, to her, someone once had.

As had happened the day before last, when Ael found herself cowering on the floor in the kitchen, Movar dropped down to one knee, gently reassuring, allowing her to hold as tight to him as she needed. In this case, Ael held tight for several minutes, stammering unnecessary apologies, attempting to explain the reason for the sudden, frightened tears, all the while admitting not knowing the cause in regards to the earlier uneasiness that had sent her running to his room as fast as she could find it.

A hand stroked soothingly over Ael’s back, and she drew in a deep, quivering breath, closing her eyes where her head rested on Movar’s shoulder. “Easy now,” he said to her. “Let us have no more tears, winged one.”

Ael promised to try and keep them in check, and then, meekly, asked if she might be allowed to stay in his room. “Just for tonight, I promise.” Wide eyes, a hopeful face; what else could he say but “yes”.

After splashing some cool water on her face in the washroom, Ael was tucked into bed. It felt too large yet perfect. “Thank you,” she said, allowing heavy eyes to droop closed. Movar had only just returned to his side of the bed, dimming the lights, pulling up the covers when a soft rustling reached his ears, followed by movement. Seconds later and a warm body pressed close, the sensation of old fur brushing beneath his chin when Ael adjusted Mr. Mittens’ position.

For a moment, it reminded Movar of the times in youth when T’Rul found herself prone to nightmares, seeking him out in the night, helping herself to the bed, a stuffed toy always dragged along behind. In those moments, unless she was close enough to feel his heartbeat, she simply couldn’t find rest. It seemed that, at least for a time, Ael might be facing the same. And who was he to deny her?


	14. Chapter 14

**The next half-week passed by in a blur, my bout of food poisoning, thanks to that horrible potato-like vegetable, escalating to a little worse before finally allowing my tired body relief. I had also been spending every night in the general’s room, cuddled close to him in that huge bed, contented and secure as long as I could feel the beat of his heart. Last night had been another such night. This morning, when I opened my eyes to greet the rays of sun streaming in through partially open curtains, I found myself back in my bed, Mr. Mittens tucked lovingly in beside me.**

**Sitting up, I stretched hugely and yawned, rubbing crusted bits of sleep from my eyes, gazing around the room, mildly confused. At least my stomach felt better, more than it had in days. Finally, I could start a day off on the right foot! While wondering how I’d ended up back in my room, I went through the usual motions of using the washroom, brushing out my hair, getting dressed. Stepping out of my room, Elements, I was starving, yielded delicious smells that had me salivating instead of nauseated.**

**“Oh, that smells good,” I couldn’t help but say, heading toward the kitchen all the while sniffing the air appreciatively. I entered the kitchen to find… no one. “Hello?” I called out. The source of these wonderfully inviting smells had to be somewhere.**

**“Good morning.”**

**I hadn’t even heard T’Rul come up behind me, the simple greeting launching me about a foot into the air. I spun around, hand over my heart. “Sorry, you startled me.”**

**“Apologies,” she said with a little head nod. “How are you feeling this morning? I was just about to wake you for morning meal.”**

**“Much better, and very hungry.”**

**“I’m not surprised,” said T’Rul, beckoning me to follow her into the dining room. “You haven’t been able to stomach much lately.”**

**This morning, I planned to stomach as much as possible without making myself ill. Stepping into the dining room, I noticed the chair at the head of the table, empty. “Where’s your father?”**

**“The Capitol,” she said. “He left before first sun, leaving for the city once he’d seen to settling you back in bed. There was talk about “far too many meetings” scheduled for today. Hopefully, he returns home in time for last meal.”**

**“Oh,” seemed to be all I had to say. Figures; my first day of feeling well and the general wasn’t even home. I had actually been looking forward to some decent conversation, perhaps even asking about a language lesson, now that I wasn’t curled up in bed, asleep or groaning like a dying animal. The end of the day couldn’t come soon enough.**

**Sliding into the space to the left of the head of the table, T’Rul to the right and across from me, I surveyed the table. Instantly, my gaze focused on the platter of fruit pastries. Golden and flaky, hints of purplish red fruit filling leaking from the corners, a pouring jar filled with fresh, thickened cream off to the side. I wanted to lean up out of my seat, reach over and grab the biggest one, stuffing it happily into my mouth. Since I wasn’t rude or lacking in manners, I didn’t. T’Rul could see my eagerness to dig in, offered me a knowing smile, and pushed the platter closer.**

**After helping myself to one of the pastries, adding a touch of cream, I added a scoop of fresh fruits from the bowl to my left to my plate. The colors reminded me of summer, bright and crisp. T’Rul poured me a cup of tea, the liquid dark amber with a distinct floral aroma. I took a tentative sip, finding it too hot to really drink, the flavor not as strong as I’d assumed. Turning my attention back to breakfast, I sliced my fork through the flaky pastry, grinning at how it crackled. Lavender filling oozed out, running into the cream, inviting me to taste. The rich, buttery taste of the pastry, combined with a mildly sweet yet tart fruit filling, drowning in sweet cream; it was the best thing I think I’d ever had.**

**“This is so good,” I remarked around a forkful of breakfast. “What’s the filling?” I asked after swallowing.**

**“Ihor berry. How do you like it?”**

**I nodded, my mouth once again too full to speak. Finally, “It’s about the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Did you make them?”**

**T’Rul sipped her tea. “Father and I both did, though this batch is predominantly my doing. Father tends to use the sweeter berries.” Then, she smiled fondly. “The sweeter the better. Somewhat opposite of the normal Romulan palate.”**

**“I have a terminally bad sweet tooth,” I admitted.**

**“Sometimes, I think he does, too.”**

**Our conversation stalled there. I ate the rest of my breakfast quietly, thoughts in constant motion, wondering what the general might be up to while away from home. Endless meetings, T’Rul had said. I had to wonder if they concerned me. At least one of them, probably, did. I had already been on this world for nearly a full ten-day, though most of it had been spent severely ill not that the praetor or anyone else for that matter, knew. If they did know, I wouldn’t put it past them to accuse me of carrying a plague, sent to wipe out the citizens of Romulus in a way no one ever thought to expect.**

**My thoughts shifted to include the worst possible scenarios, one of which involved the chairman of the Tal’shiar sending one of the nastier operatives in the organization to steal me away from home. From there… The scenario in my head did not have a happy ending. Overthinking things dramatically; another habit to try and shake.**

**“What is it?” T’Rul asked out of the blue. “Your posture; you look very tense.”**

**Reluctantly, I shared my thoughts. She did her best to reassure me, informing me that her father tended to spend a good deal of time down in the city, mostly at headquarters, sometimes, the Capitol.**

**“I wish I had a way to know for sure if everyone is discussing me.”**

**“Even if one of his meetings today happens to concern you, nothing ill should come of it.”**

**I hoped so. Breakfast done, dishes taken back to clean; I had no idea what else to do with my morning. Though I had seen fit to wander before, mainly in an attempt to find the general’s room, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that meant my only, real rule, not leaving my room without an escort, had actually been lifted or not. It would be something up for discussion whenever the general returned home. Asking certainly wouldn’t hurt.**

**We ended up in the sitting room, T’Rul and I sitting on the large window seat overlooking the gardens. The plants, flowers, blooming trees and bushes, a large pond at the center, stone walkways winding a path through the brightly colored foliage; I wondered if, later, I might suggest a walk. A large butterfly-like creature fluttered by, its azure and emerald striped wings on full display when it landed on a white and purple blossom. I watched it until it flitted away, turning back to T’Rul who not only had a large book open on her lap, PADD at her side, but another three books balanced carefully in front of her.**

**“A personal area of study,” she said, passing me one of the books to look at. “Though I suppose you could say it is also a formal one.”**

**Propping the book open on my lap, I leafed through a series of pages I couldn’t read, landing on a photo of a bright blue flower, petals unfurled, tipped in white, a caption beneath that said – “What does this say?”**

**Leaning over, she saw where I pointed. “The nectar from that particular flower is said to relieve throat irritation.”**

**“So, what exactly are you studying?”**

**“Homeopathic remedies. Remember a few days ago, when I first discovered you were unwell?” How could I forget? The pain, the fifty trips to the washroom a day. I also remembered T’Rul telling me she was a healer. “This is my area of study. While I generally prefer tried and true remedies that come from nature, I do not deny that, at times, more modern medicines are the best course of action. One day, I will be a physician, balancing the technological and the natural when it comes to treating patients.”**

**“Do you attend a special school or anything?” So far, I’d never really seen her away from the home, not that I would know for sure, what with being cooped up in my room and all.**

**“Many children, especially those High Born, generally leave for school around the age of six, kept there until they must do their five years of mandatory military service at the age of twenty-one.”**

**“They _live_ there for their entire childhood?” I widened my eyes in disbelief.   **

**“Some do, yes,” she said seriously. “I was a candidate for such a facility, but my father preferred to keep me at home, train and teach me himself. There are times in the past I have had specialized tutors, and I have given thought to ask about a training position down at one of the smaller clinics in the city. For a hands-on experience, in dealing with different situations and ailments.”**

**“What made him keep you at home? Sorry if I’m prying. Just curious,” I added quickly.**

**“Father thinks the majority of those schooling facilities to be too pretentious. Many of them, too, attempt to force a person to be something they are not. The majority either enlist in the military or get swept up into politics. Neither of which I have any interest in despite the fact that the entire family line is composed entirely of military men and women.”**

**After T’Rul had spoken, I noticed she appeared a little downtrodden. She didn’t desire a military career but yet the majority of her family might not exactly care what it is T’Rul wanted so long as the family line of officers wasn’t disrupted along the way. “Have other members of your family, um, been pressuring you about it?”**

**She sighed. “In the past, a few, though there are some, like my father, whose opinion is really the only one that matters. He would rather I follow my own path and calling, to do what will make me the happiest in life instead of blindly following in family footsteps, turning into something I would rather, never be.”**

**The subject dropped, silence restored, at least until I decided to ask about something T’Rul had earlier mentioned, regarding mandatory military service. Once a Romulan reaches the age of young adulthood, twenty-one, they are required to undergo a period of service to the Empire known as Serona. During those five years, “scruffs”, as those on Serona are called, receive modest amounts of basic military training, and are then assigned to duties based on the Empire’s needs, the skills of the individual. Career military men and women often didn’t think much of scruffs, using them for the more menial, laborious tasks aboard a ship or posting, freeing up the “real soldiers” for more important tasks. So, unfortunately, many young adults rarely seemed to learn anything of true importance while on Serona; they were, mostly, glorified errand runners.**

**“It all depends on your commanding officer,” said T’Rul. “There are those in the Empire who are quite inclusive when it comes to the placement of scruffs aboard their vessel. They place them in areas around the ship or station where they can learn.”**

**At least it sounded more pleasant than Seronas of the past, where, at the age of thirty, a Romulan would undergo grueling physical, mental challenges to deem themselves worthy of becoming a full-fledged citizen of the Empire. If the rite was successful, the second part of Serona would begin, five years of mandatory military service that, often, saw participants on the field rather than holed up in a cargo bay categorizing supplies.**

**And then I wondered, “Do you think I’ll be given a Serona?” I still had six years to go, until that time came to pass. T’Rul said she didn’t know for sure. I doubted if anyone actually considered me a Romulan citizen at this point.**

**“Time will tell,” said T’Rul, my attention wandering back into the gardens, an emerald green, ruby red-striped hummingbird-like creature flitting along from blossom to blossom.**

**For at least a half hour, I looked through a book I couldn’t read, T’Rul tapping out notes on a PADD, poring over the book in her lap. My thoughts shifted from what my time at Serona, should I get one, would be like, to, when I tilted my head back to gaze upward at the high vaulted ceilings, why this huge estate only had two people living in it. Well, three.**

**“So, I’m curious,” I began tentatively. T’Rul momentarily seemed startled by my voice, her concentration broken from what she’d been working on. “I’ve been wondering since I’ve come; why is this home so empty?” At first sight, I’d expected this home to be teeming with activity, servants moving to-and-fro, going about their daily duties, the occupants of the home everyone from career men and women to children and their nursemaids, moving about, engaged in activity. Instead, I’d stepped through the door to complete and utter silence. All High Born homes had servants, didn’t they? Not this one, apparently.**

**T’Rul closed her book, lost in sudden thought. “It has been this way for as long as I can remember. There is another home, much the size of this one, the main complex if you will, where most of the main family resides with one another.” And then her expression grew cold, so icy that I almost shivered. “Honestly, I think it came down to the fact that my father could not tolerate living in the same complex with most of the immediate family. Some of them…” She took a deep breath.**

**“By the sounds of it, I don’t blame him.”**

**“Nor I. A good many of those people are severely arrogant, haughty, self-righteous, strongly believing a good majority of the Empire is alive to serve them, keep them comfortable in life. Never mind one or two certain they can do no wrong.”**

**“Sounds a bit like the family I left behind if you can call them family at all,” I muttered sourly.**

**“Indeed. Eventually, this home will become full, though it will take decades. When I am grown, my husband and I will likely reside here, as will our children.” And then she said, surprising me, “As will you and yours. If father ever decides to bond with another, she will stay here as well, along with their children if they have them.”**

**I tuned out that last bit, focusing on how T’Rul had said, “As will you and yours”, indicating, at least to me, I had already become family and was here to stay. Already, I could see the home teeming with life, hear the laughter of children.**

**“Once the home’s numbers have been significantly increased, we will also have to bring in servants.” At this, T’Rul wrinkled her nose.**

**“Not too keen on them, huh?”**

**“Not especially, no,” she said. “I’m sure that admission would surprise anyone High Born. The main complex has at least twenty, tending to the various people and chores, nursemaids for the youngest children, particularly those whose mothers are away on tours of duty. We don’t currently have servants because there is no need. We don’t need tending, and even though the house is large, there aren’t excessive trappings, meaning there isn’t a need to spend hours a day scrubbing or cleaning. These days, I tend to give everything a good going over once a week, and Father does help.”**

**All at once my stomach gurgled, prompting a bit of a wince. It actually hurt a little. “Maybe I overdid it a bit at breakfast?”**

**“Possibly. As hungry as you were, you ate more than I expected. Are you nauseated at all?”**

**“Just achy. Maybe I should lie down for a bit.”**

**“Resting for an hour or two would be a wise idea. Remember to keep a glass of water by your bedside to sip on.”**

**Agreeing, I took one last look out at the gardens and made my way back to the kitchen to secure some water, heading back to my room to rest, hopeful I could sleep off what remained of my ailment by the time midday rolled around.**

**…**

The clock struck midday when Ael woke from the strangest dream she’d ever had, one that saw her being chased around the kitchen by one of the fruit pastries she’d come to adore, cream spewing from its mouth as it pursued, clearly enraged. Sitting up, shaking her head to clear the remnants of the odd dream from her mind, Ael glanced through the window. The morning sunshine had gone, replaced by steel-grey clouds, swollen with rain.

Reaching for the cup of water on the nightstand, Ael noticed two additions to the little table, a PADD, and a piece of soft-fleshed, golden colored fruit. Wiping the sleep out of her eyes, yawning huge, Ael lifted the PADD to read the note T’Rul had left.

_Ael,_

_I need to make a trip into the marketplace to pick up one or two things needed for last meal and should be home within an hour. I came by to check on you shortly before midday; you were sleeping so deeply that I didn’t want to wake you. I left you a piece of fruit that should be easy on your stomach, providing it’s still a bit achy._

_If you feel like you can, I suggest some time outside. The fresh air would no doubt do you a world of good. If you go past the sitting room, there is a little side passage that leads out to a smaller, private sitting space. If you feel up to it, and no one else is home, head outside and relax for a while. I will be home soon._

_T’Rul_

Ael read and reread the note, each time feeling a touch more uneasiness creeping in regards to the line “if no one else is home”, and she wasn’t sure why. Could it be that, at least officially, Movar had yet to lift her room restriction, so, in a way, this felt like sneaking off behind his back? Or could it be a case of reading into something not there at all?

_Well, he did say T’Rul is allowed to be an escort, and she did leave a note that granted me permission to go outside for a bit. That’s kind of the same thing, isn’t it?_

Ael wasn’t so sure. After the tenth read through of the note, engaged in an internal tug-of-war along the way, Ael decided to make her way outside. A few minutes surely couldn’t hurt. Tucking the PADD into the pocket of her oversized lounging robe, for an extra measure of security against being caught where, perhaps, she shouldn’t be, Ael grabbed the piece of fruit from atop the nightstand and went outside.

Though the day had turned cloudy, Ael found the day pleasantly warm, the little breeze swirling around the outside world, equally as nice. About the size of her room, so of modest size, Ael’s gaze swept along the private space, taking in the high fence, vines crawling upwards, teeming with brightly colored flowers, to more strands of ivy that climbed up and around an elegant archway, the tiniest flowers imaginable, white as snow, dotted every few inches. A lone chair, one made to withstand bad weather, sat just beneath the arch, a little table to the right, meant for holding one’s drink.

Ael sat, leaning back, closing her eyes, breathing in the crisp air deep. Opening her eyes, she smiled at the flowers swaying gently to the rhythm of the breeze. Watching the flowers engaged in their dance, Ael bit into the piece of fruit, the texture nothing short of luscious, the flavor wonderfully sweet, juice rolling down her chin and dripping onto her hand.

Every new food experience seemed to invoke the same reaction: “This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted,” mumbled Ael around a mouthful of the soft fruit. At last, Ael leaned back further, closing her eyes, enjoying the scent of the flowers, the feeling of the breeze on her face, slipping into a contented doze with little warning. At least, this time, there were no angry pastries pursuing her.

Ael stayed outside for the better part of two hours, mostly dozing. It helped when the sun peeked out from behind the clouds for a half hour, bathing her in comforting warmth. During her brief periods of wakefulness, Ael thought of her new life, the possible new things to come, always drifting off with a smile on her face. Unfortunately, through no real fault of her own, the only thing about to come was nothing wanted, or even deserved.

It had been an incredibly stressful morning and mid-afternoon for Movar. The day began well before first sun, in a meeting where the members of the Imperial Senate engaged in argument after heated argument with the Continuing Committee. At one point, Movar wondered if one of them might become enraged enough to pull out a disruptor from beneath their robes, vaporizing the one who had caused the most offense to personal opinion. That first meeting, which had lasted three hours, succeeded in unraveling a bit of Movar’s patience. Normally, and according to most, Movar was a man of nearly infallible patience. Combine the inherent ability to keep one’s composure with decades of training, over one hundred and thirty-five years in active military service, and you had a man who rarely, if ever, came unraveled at the seams. One could never afford to lose patience, especially over trivial matters. A level head, rational thought; the two had served him well for over a century.

After that meeting, came another. This one more subdued though serious. This time, the subject matter, thankfully, didn’t involve politics and governing policies, but rather Commander Sela, the blond hybrid he knew far too well. Discussion revolved around her latest foul-up, and then the many that had come before. It was demanded that he “do something about the problem”, which, depending on whom you asked could mean either demotion or the firing squad. At the present moment, Movar almost didn’t care which, something that bothered him. After giving his word that “something would be decided”, Movar headed off to yet another meeting, this one unsubdued, all about Ael.

The situation escalated quickly, everyone involved in the meeting intently awaiting his appraisal of the young humanoid who had managed to find her way to the homeworld barely a ten-day prior. What seemed to anger those gathered the most was the fact he had nothing to say against her. Though he left out the fact that Ael’s confidence had taken a severe nosedive since her meeting in the Imperial Hall, as well as a fragility none of them knew about, Movar made certain to tell them, though he knew it would bring inflammatory debate, that he found no deception in her. The chambers immediately erupted in shouting. Him, a Tal’shiar general finding no deception within a human; it seemed a preposterous notion at the very least.

One made comment alluded to Ael being a sleeper agent, programmed in such a way that not even she would know of the deception. When she matured, something in her would wake, changing her mind, alter what she perceived as truth, flooding her thoughts with details on exactly how to bring the Empire down from within. Two others agreed, nodding emphatically. No matter what he said or how much a commanding tone he used, it seemed most refused to take his word on Ael at face value. Finally, he resigned to stepping back and allowing everyone gathered to shout amongst themselves. Still, it severely bothered, _angered_ him to hear the way Ael, a child whom he was beginning to bond with, was spoken of and about.

By the time the clock struck midday, Movar’s usually steady patience had slipped three-quarters of the way out of his grasp. Midday also happened to be the time he called it a day, returning home to check on Ael, and continue working from home in his private office.

The first thing he did on arrival home was to head to Ael’s room and look in on her; the last evening had seen her dreadfully out of sorts, plagued by nightmares. She’d fallen to sleep only three hours before he’d departed from home. A little knock on Ael’s bedroom door yielded no answer. Quietly, the door opened, so as not to disturb Ael, should she be asleep. An empty bed saw the door flung wide; Ael definitely wasn’t there. Perhaps she could be found with T’Rul. After all, Ael had not yet been told she could wander the home, alone.

T’Rul was easily found, in the sitting room with several books open, intently poring over two at once, Ael, nowhere in sight. Ael’s further absence from his sights bothered him. A lot. She’d only ever had the one rule, one that would have eventually, quickly been lifted after a ten-day or two without incident. After all the kindness she’d been shown; surely, she would do nothing to damage what trust had already been given. And then one of the incidents at the Capitol came flooding back, one or two of the gathered, mumbling amongst themselves in regards to someone, eventually “making that girl disappear”. That had been the only time he’d raised his voice. Could someone have removed Ael from the home without T’Rul being the wiser? Certainly not! Suddenly, a little wave of panic struck, hardly anything Movar could say he was used to experiencing.

“Where is Ael?” Movar asked a bit sharper than he meant. “She is not in her room.”

T’Rul looked up from her books, surprised at her father’s short, sharp tone. It concerned her to see his patience so far gone, a hint of panic in his eyes. “Actually, no,” she began, Movar turning away before an explanation could come. Striding down the hall, he called Ael’s name with over-excessive force, startling Ael awake from where she’d been dozing, out in the private sitting space, the warmth of the sun now gone, replaced by darker clouds than before.

“Father, wait!” T’Rul insisted, abandoning her books to follow on his heels. Something or someone had taken a toll on his patience at the Capitol, sapped him of all rational thought. She had to intervene before the brunt of his stressful morning ended up being cast on Ael, someone who bore no fault.

“Stay there, T’Rul,” Movar said sternly. Instantly, T’Rul halted, confused. Now he wouldn’t even allow an _explanation_?

“What in the world happened at the Capitol?” T’Rul called out, paid no mind. That was unusual, too.

Outside, unable to step through the door leading in, Ael trembled from head-to-toe in severe apprehension. The stern, angry calling of her name sent chills throughout her body, increased her heart rate, made her petrified to move. Harsh, heavier-than-normal footfalls made their way down the hall, closer to the outside. Whimpering, tears building behind her eyes, Ael, holding the PADD with written permission for her to be outside, stepped into the house. Once she showed him the note T’Rul had left, everything would somehow be OK. It had to be.

All at once, she locked gazes with Movar, unnerved by his expression. Had this really been the man who had comforted her so kindly, tended her patiently, had allowed her to curl up beside him during the night hours just so she could find peaceful rest? If anything, now, he looked ready to pick her up and hurl her across the room.

_Did T’Rul ever even have the authority to leave me this note, and then leave me outside after she’d come home? It’s not like I was far from her! I just should have stayed in bed or had a bath or sat with T’Rul again while she studied._

Silently, Ael hoped Movar wasn’t about to slap her into next week. He certainly seemed upset enough. The thoughts brought back a series of memories Ael would give anything to forget. Where had the kind, loving, patient father figure vanished? Wordlessly, Ael held out the PADD, so frightened the device wobbled in tune to her shivering. Movar took the PADD from Ael, barely glancing at it before folding his arms tight, treating Ael to a stare far sterner than deserved.

A small, wavering voice said, “I-I’m really s-sorry, General.”

The reply, “An apology may not be enough,” terrified Ael, forcing her to back up by two steps, back pressing tight against the door. Any moment now, she was sure, a slap would descend, stinging her cheek, bringing wetness from her eyes, killing a good portion of the remainder of her spirit. But it couldn’t be! The general wasn’t so callous, surely!

“I-it was a-an accident,” Ael stammered desperately. “The note; I-I was told it w-was OK-”

“Who told you?” Movar interrupted coldly. “Did I tell you?”

“No…” Ael momentarily thought of pushing past Movar and running back to her room, barricading herself inside.

“Were you escorted outside?”

Nervously shifting her feet, Ael shook her head. “No, sir, b-but the note said -” Ael cringed away in nervous reflex when Movar raised his hand in a gesture that demanded she be silent. Obediently, Ael clamped her mouth shut.

“At this moment, young lady, I do not care about the contents of this PADD. The rules of the house, of which you had only one, you chose not to obey. Disobedience is equal to disrespect, and that comes with a consequence.”

One look into her mentor’s eyes told of trust lost, though something else sat there, something Ael could only describe as fear. Whatever she saw, it went as quickly as she’d seen it. Hoping a painful punishment wouldn’t befall her, Ael, meekly, asked about the mentioned consequence.

“As of this moment, you are no longer allowed out of your rooms except at mealtimes, and only if I am escorting you to the dining hall.”

There were many times Movar had come home especially late, Ael wondered what she was to do in the event he neglected to make it home in time for dinner. “B-but what if y-you aren’t here?”

“I would begin taking something back to your room once mealtime has concluded.” It sounded to Ael like she might have to begin hoarding foodstuffs or ask T’Rul on the down low if the older girl would be willing to sneak her something in the event Movar stayed at the Capitol till late. “Now, get to your room.”

A trembling sigh, a crestfallen glance, a little nod of the head; Ael kept her gaze averted on the short trip back to her room, passing T’Rul on the way, though Ael couldn’t bear to lift her head. Tides of confusion, of bitter disappointment, streamed silently down Ael’s cheeks yet she made no moves to wipe them away, stepping into her room, over to her bed, before turning to stare at the man who had always been, in her heart, Daddy. To see all the care and acceptance gone from his eyes, that other look sitting there she didn’t like, couldn’t identify; she felt like falling to her knees and begging forgiveness.

“I-I’m sorry,” Ael said meekly, attempting, again, to apologize. “I should h-have waited for y-you to come home, t-to ask you first instead o-of listening to the note.”

“Yes, you should have,” he confirmed bluntly.

Despite the hardness of his tone, the coldness of his stare, Ael was unable to lose the trust she still had in him, the love she felt. Something must have happened away from home to make him upset, she just happened to get in the way, somehow. This couldn’t be how he was. Ael refused to believe it.

“i-I didn’t mean t-to disobey or cause any problems,” Ael sniffled.

“And yet that is what you have done.” Ael turned away, staring through the window, into the overcast sky, unable to think of anything else to do or say that might help her case.

 _Why are you treating me so horribly?_ Ael almost shouted. _I don’t know what I’ve done! Daddy, please, tell me! What did I do?_

“I’m sorry,” Ael whispered, sitting on the bed, staring at her lap.

After a coldly spoken, “I should hope so,” the door closed, Ael thrust into deafening silence, the only sound she could hear until she flopped down on the bed and began sobbing into her pillow.

 

 

…

 

“Father, will you listen to yourself for all of one second!” It had only been one minute since Movar had left Ael alone in her room, T’Rul cornering him in the hall, demanding he listen. This entire situation had T’Rul severely on edge, so much so that she was raising her voice when addressing her father, something she rarely ever had reason to do. And while she had seen his patience close to expiry a time or two in the past, never anything as severe as this. “I left that note for Ael. Was I not allowed to give her permission to leave her room after all?”

“You were allowed to escort her,” said Movar sharply. “You were not allowed to leave a note by her bedside giving her free rein of the estate.”

An incredulous expression appeared on T’Rul’s face. “Now I _know_ something happened while you were away. Father, I didn’t give Ael free rein of anything. I told her _exactly_ where she could go and she did only that. She thought she was allowed to follow my instructions, this entire situation is my fault.”

“Perhaps, but even so, Ael knew the restrictions. Do not attempt to justify her foolishness, and you would be wise to mind your tone.”

 _Mind_ yours! T’Rul almost snapped, biting her tongue. No matter her feelings, a rude, snappish retort wouldn’t help the situation. Scowling, folding her arms T’Rul said, “I swear; I’ve never seen an accident cause such grief.”

“Ael can be thankful that all she received was a good scolding,” said Movar, tone barely level.

T’Rul scoffed, rolling her eyes in annoyance. “I’ve been on the receiving end of a good scolding from you more than once in my life, and that was nothing I’ve ever received. It sounded like you were disciplining an insubordinate soldier, not a child.”

“She may be a child, but that does not give her the authority to do as she wishes or to disrespect me under my roof. She has been treated with far more leniency than any other home would have dared give her.”

 _Air and Fire; what the hell has gotten into him?_ “For Elements sakes, Father, what happened at the Capitol? What could have angered you to the point, to think it necessary to treat Ael so horribly? Forget terrified; Ael is heartbroken.” There was no response. “Yes, a mistake was made on my part but not on hers. If you want to punish someone for what has happened then punish me.”

T’Rul waited for a loud response to follow, Movar straightening his stance, his voice eerily low when he said, “Do not forget what she is.” T’Rul further confused, and shocked when he said, “She can take care of herself.”

Wide-eyed, T’Rul stepped back. The man before her now was most certainly _not_ the father she knew and loved. “Who _are_ you?” T’Rul said warily. “And what in Air’s name have you done with my father? He would _never_ behave in such a callous manner towards any child.”

While at home, T’Rul had only ever known her father to be kind, gentle, nurturing, exceptionally patient, and he had shown those exact traits since Ael had come, even more so when the newcomer, through no fault of her own, ended up miserably sick. Whether or not he would admit it now, T’Rul knew her father already cared for the small humanoid girl. Silently, T’Rul wondered if that might be the problem, that her father already cared too much for Ael, someone with whom he was already beginning to bond with, she to him.

 _What if he is afraid of becoming too close,_ she thought. _Of bonding deeply with her, only for the praetor to decide to rescind his permission for her to stay, Ael disappearing from the home during the night or even while Father is away at the Capitol. That has to be it. He’s scared to death of becoming close and then losing her, losing a child. To come home from an obvious stressful morning, finding Ael missing from her room, not with me… That has to be it. I would wager anything he thought he’d lost her._

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. “Father, you know what Ael is as well as she does,” she said, choosing not to share the other thoughts swirling about in her head. “If you thought she was but a worthless human, you would have never brought her into this home, spoken of formal adoption. And as for caring for herself? That is an incorrect statement, we both know it. Since she’s come, you have been exceptionally gentle with her, tenderly caring for her the days she could barely move out of bed. This morning, you didn’t even want to leave her side, which is one reason why I believe you returned home hours earlier than expected. I know something has you worried, possibly even afraid, but don’t deny the fact you care for her.”

Though every word out of T’Rul’s mouth could be called truth, Movar, at the moment, wanted to hear none of it, his patience drifting further away due to the way his daughter appeared to be ever so slightly challenging him.

“I think it best if you go to your room,” he said, clearly irritated.

T’Rul sounded very much like a child when she yelped, angrily, “Wait, _what_? Oh, like that’s fair! Punish me because I’ve told you the truth about something that you didn’t want to hear, for Air and Fire only knows what reason!”

The PADD was suddenly slammed against the wall, the screen going black, T’Rul barely able to keep her feet rooted in place. Her words had obviously touched a nerve. “I already have one disobedient child in this house, I do not need two. Go to your room, T’Rul. You and Ael have both caused enough strife for one day.”

“I’m sorry, Father, but there was no strife caused. Ael and I both made minuscule mistakes if one can even call what she did, wrong. No harm came of said “mistakes”, either.  Well, not unless you count Ael’s crushed spirit or how she’s suddenly terrified of you.” Against her better judgment, T’Rul stepped forwards, eyes narrowed in malcontent. “I don’t know what happened at the Capitol today, Father, and I’m sorry that something has, as Ael would say “ruffled your feathers,” but you have no right to take your bad day out on either of us.”

Not only blinded by the overwhelming stress of the day but irritated at T’Rul refusing to back down, Movar came far too close to physically lashing out at his daughter, raising a hand back as though to strike her, catching himself before the slap could fall. What was he doing?! He had nearly… But he had never…!

T’Rul woundedly gazed up at her father, feeling the burning sting of angry tears building behind her eyes in response to what nearly had happened. This man was not her father. Without another word spoken, there was no more to say, T’Rul turned away to go to her room, closing the door loudly behind once she reached it.

 

 

…

 

Back in her room, Ael lingered near the still-closed door. She’d been standing there ever since the yelling began, every last word that had been spoken, yelled, and argued, having reached her through it. Trembling, choking back sobs; Ael could only stand and listen to the suddenly cruel, callous words someone she loved directed toward her. One little mistake, barely a mistake by normal standards; Ael couldn’t understand the amount of grief it had caused. Quietly, Ael grabbed her blanket off the bed, along with Mr. Mittens, carrying both away to the far corner of the room where she sat, drew her knees in, and wrapped the warm covering around her. It did nothing to stop the shivers.

In the midst of the emotional turbulence, Ael began to wish for something sharp, perhaps the knife that had been left behind, in her old home, on the floor, covered in blood. Maybe there was a razor in the bathroom, failing that, a shard of glass from an unexpectedly shattered bathroom mirror… Anything to shift the unbearable pain in her heart to a different pain altogether, a way to show that, maybe, she was worth nothing at all to anyone. The only thing that stopped Ael from rising from the floor to go in search of a sharp object with which to cut, were the thoughts in her head, reminding over and over again that, just maybe, Movar hadn’t meant what had happened.

 _What if he didn’t mean it?_ Ael thought. _The general might still care about me. Maybe something had him so stressed that he couldn’t think clearly. If that’s true and I found a – If I suddenly decided to_ – She paused. What would it do to both Movar and T’Rul when they came by for whatever reason, only to find her a bloody mess in the corner of the room, arms cut? The thoughts made her retch.

_The general would likely blame himself, and then he would turn bitter. T’Rul would likely blame her father and it could drive them apart. But there’s also the chance that I am just an assignment and that he doesn’t care at all. Maybe he’s just been so nice to win my trust, hoping that I will “spill my secret,” my real reason for being here even though such a thing doesn’t exist. No, that can’t be it. I know that’s not right!_

“He cares,” Ael mumbled tearfully to her tiger. “I know he does.” Over and over Ael repeated the words, like a mantra, rocking back and forth, wishing the blanket around her shoulders felt warmer than it usually did, more comforting a thing. Even though Movar had seen fit to be so unkind, Ael wished he were near, giving anything to be able to once again seek comfort in his arms.

Ael stayed in the corner of the room until the light of day began to wane, darkness creeping over the room sooner than usual due to cloud cover. At least the trembles had ceased, tears had dried, though her heart still very much felt broken. “I know I mean something to him,” she said aloud. Until this afternoon, the care in the older Romulan’s eyes had been apparent. Nothing he’d ever done or said alluded to false pretenses. A trembling sigh slipped from Ael’s mouth and, softly, she begged whatever deity could hear or care that things be allowed to go back to how they’d been.

A knock on Ael’s bedroom door caused a start, eyes wide, anxious as she stared, waiting for it to open. Heart beating frantically, Ael heard the door open, a willowy figure stepping into the room, scanning it, attempting to scout her through the dimness. A strangled sob caught in Ael’s throat, pulling T’Rul’s attention over. She could just make out Ael’s form in the corner of the room, small, afraid. A calm voice bid the lighting level to rise to a comfortable level, T’Rul making haste to Ael’s side, dropping down beside the smaller girl, gathering her in a hug.

“I-I’m so sorry,” Ael said hoarsely. “I never meant -”

“I know a’rhea,” said T’Rul, using a gentle term of endearment. “None of this was your doing. Father had a very stressful morning at the Capitol, and though he refuses to admit it, I can see something has the smallest part of him afraid. Even so,” she continued, stroking a hand over Ael’s hair, “that is no excuse for the way he behaved towards either of us. At the very least, he realizes that.”

“Um, why didn’t he come for me?” Ael asked. “I thought you weren’t allowed to take me anywhere?”

“Father’s mood has calmed considerably since the earlier incident, and he understands how inane it was to force a harsher room restriction on you.” And then T’Rul paused, wondering if she should dare confide what else Movar knew, regarding the fact that Ael, currently, felt frightened of him. “He asked me to come for you because I wasn’t the one yelling at you, being painfully cruel. He likely assumes you would rather not see him.”

“I-I do and I don’t,” Ael admitted with a sniffle. “Earlier, I heard the yelling in the hall.” T’Rul fixed her with an apologetic look. “I-I kept waiting to hear him slap you.” Such a thing hadn’t been easy to say.

“Honestly, he almost did,” she admitted, Ael’s eyes widening in horror. “Oh, he caught himself before he actually did it. I could clearly see the shock from his nearly becoming physical with me. Not even he could believe what had almost happened in the heat of the moment.”

“You mean he’s never…?”

“Don’t misunderstand, a time or two in my youth, the times I felt compelled to be especially belligerent, earned me a warmed backside but other than that, no. He’s most certainly never slapped me across the face before or even hinted he might if pushed far enough. When upset, it’s generally only a lecture one has to worry about receiving, and they can go on for a while, depending on the infraction. Usually, the worst punishment is restriction, meaning no leaving the home unless absolutely necessary. The kind of brutality you’ve been through, at the hands of your biological parents? Never.”

Ael did her best to believe it. It was harder than she wanted it to be.

“Everything will be all right, I promise. Come,” Gently, T’Rul helped Ael to her feet. “Let’s get you washed up, and then we can go down to dinner.

Wishing, at least in part, she could decline the invitation to the table, Ael washed the tearstains from her face, cleansed her hands, followed T’Rul down to the dining room where the table had already been set for three. A breath caught in Ael’s throat at the sight of Movar at the head of the table. On one hand, she wanted to run to him, wrap her arms around his neck and apologize. On the other, she wanted to go back to her room and curl up back in the corner.

“Here, help me bring some things out from the kitchen.”

Ael decided to ask for permission from the one at the head of the table, hurrying after T’Rul when Movar nodded in response to the question. Dinner made its way to the table in under a few minutes, Ael remaining beside her chair, instead of sitting, once the final bowl had been placed on the table.

“Ael, you can sit down now,” said T’Rul gently.

“I, um, thought you might want me t-to serve.” Perhaps it really was all she was good for.

It took all of T’Rul’s willpower not to aim a severely annoyed look at her father. _Fantastic_ , she longed to say. _Now Ael thinks she’s a slave._ “Ael, you don’t have to serve us. Sit.” Ael refused. Earlier, she had gotten into a good deal of trouble for listening to something T’Rul had told her. She felt conflicted, worried.

“Sit down, Ael,” Movar instructed calmly. “You are not a servant here.”

“Just unwanted,” Ael mumbled, sinking into her seat.

“Oh, Ael, you are not,” T’Rul countered softly, but Ael refused to meet her eyes, gaze content to sit on her lap.

Earlier, anger unjustly directed at the two girls at the table, Movar now felt that anger directed inward, furious with the way he’d seen fit to behave, for the way his words had utterly destroyed Ael’s spirit. As the bowls and platters made their way around the table, Ael’s eyes lacked curiousness at dishes she’d never seen, seeming not to care if she even ate or not. And when, briefly, Movar caught her gaze, it pained him to the core to see Ael’s bright spark, her inner fire, gone. That beautiful, fiery spirit that had lit Ael’s eyes with so much fervor and fight the first time that he had laid eyes on her back in the Imperial Hall was no more.

After the meal, he would speak to her; Movar wanted no further fear in her eyes, stress on her shoulders.

Ael currently picked at the food on her plate, pushing around a purplish-black grain, like rice, into a meat and vegetable mixture, intent on ignoring a bitter-leafed salad made from dark green, purple, and light blue leaves. At least the dinner roll, buttery and soft, gave a measure of comfort while eating it.

The majority of the meal was spent in silence, the air in the room tenser than anyone cared for. Twice, Ael nearly leaped from her chair to scurry back to her room, unable to stand the overwhelming emotions bearing down, threatening to slam into her fiercer than before. T’Rul kept glancing across the way, concerned for Ael yet uncertain of the proper words to speak. Movar, however, currently seemed occupied with a spot on the far wall, his thoughts miles away, as the human expression went. A modest portion of ale filled the cup in his hand but he had yet to drink.

Ael noticed the faraway expression. _I wonder if he really does regret the way he treated me and T’Rul…_ Then a cruel, taunting voice whispered, _why would he regret it? Remember: You are what you are, and he is what he is._

Appetite suddenly gone, Ael pushed her plate away, shoulders sagging. The end of mealtime came earlier than normal, Ael, though desiring to retreat back to her room, didn’t feel much like being alone, offering to help with the dishes.

“You don’t have to,” said T’Rul. “But if you really would like to help, I don’t mind,” she added at Ael’s beseeching gaze.

“OK, I’ll take these back, then.” Ael scooped up the empty serving bowls and hurried away.

T’Rul stayed at the table until Ael was no longer in hearing range, then said to her father, “Father, I know we have spoken some, but you really must speak with Ael. This cannot be allowed to continue.”

Movar sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in an expression of exhaustion. “Believe me, T’Rul, I know. I was planning to speak with her after mealtime.”

She nodded. “Once the dishes have been tended to, I will send her out.”

Movar nodded, placing his cup of ale on the table, mumbling in annoyance once T’Rul had gone. “I cannot believe the things I had the audacity to say to her,” he said. “And what I nearly did to T’Rul? Inexcusable.”

Forget clean up; he should march straight into the kitchen and escort Ael away for a talk, give her the biggest hug she’d ever received from anyone, offer an apology, ask for forgiveness, and admit to how he really did care for her, see her as a part of the family. As for admitting the fear over the possibility of losing her; that would be much harder to admit to than anything he was used to.

 …

 

 

“Honestly, I think he’s afraid of losing you.”

Ael tipped her head, confused, and then dunked a bowl into the sudsy water. “What do you mean?”

“This is what I think: You may have only been here for a short time, but it’s very clear, at least to me that Father cares a great deal for you already. You’re bonding, something I didn’t think he expected to happen quite so quickly. With that bond, comes the smallest hint of fear, and fear is not something an empire general is used to experiencing. The fear is due to, forgive me, the possibility, slim as it is, of losing you.”

“Losing me?” Ael questioned cautiously. “Like, the praetor suddenly deciding he’d rather have me disposed of after all? Can he really do that?”

“It’s highly unlikely to happen,” said T’Rul. “At times, empire generals wield more power than even the praetor; there would have to be damning evidence against you for the praetor to have a drastic change of mind regarding you. As far as he is concerned, you are now Father’s responsibility. Even so, I think that fear is still there, in back of his mind, likely compounded by something heard at the Capitol today, in one of his meetings.”

A proverbial lightbulb clicked on over Ael’s head. “So, when he came home, and I wasn’t in my room or with you…”

“He panicked. And when he did find you, instead of being pleased you were safe and well, he, for some reason, allowed his fear to turn to anger, resulting in his lashing out, unfairly, at us both. On a normal day, Ael, what happened wouldn’t have caused a single moment of tension.”

“I don’t want him to worry over me,” said Ael softly, no longer interested in the dishes at all, but rather, sleep. A sad smile formed on her face. “It’s not really a luxury I’m used to, anyway.” 

“In this home, you will become used to it.” T’Rul placed a comforting hand on Ael’s shoulder. “Father really does care about you, Ael.”

“I’m afraid of losing him, too, and you,” Ael blurted. “Please, don’t say anything, but for the longest time, since I was small, he’s been the only father I ever wanted. From the first moment I saw him, heard his voice via an old recording on a PADD, in here,” she placed a hand over her heart, “he became Daddy. My only source of strength, my only beacon of hope to, one day, try and find my way home. I’d rather die than leave,” she admitted sadly, unaware Movar was standing on the other side of the entryway, having heard every word.

“It will be all right, Ael. After we finish here, I know Father would like to speak with you.”

Ael nodded, uncertain how she felt about talking. A part of her wanted it, badly, another part; admittedly, she still felt a bit wary, uncertain. She said as much when Movar finally stepped into the room, asking if they might speak.

“Is it OK if we don’t?” Ael asked timidly. “I don’t feel like doing much more than going to bed. My stomach is upset and I just can’t think clearly.”

Suppressing a sigh, Movar nodded. “Tomorrow then,” he said. Nothing would be gained by forcing a discussion especially not when she appeared wary.

Relieved yet sad, Ael hurried away to her room, pulling her blanket, and tiger from the corner, climbing into bed to sit, gaze riveted upon the door, silently hoping Movar would walk through.

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk with you,” Ael whispered to the door. “I know you’re sorry, that you didn’t mean what you said. Still, I’m scared, confused; I wonder if I even fit here, if the praetor is suddenly going to decide to send someone to steal me away in the dead of night.” Curling up beneath her blanket, back to the door, Ael sighed, wishing the tree branches wouldn’t impact the windowpane so harshly. It made being alone, in the dark, ten times worse.

Ael drifted in and out of sleep, cringing beneath her blanket in response to the howling wind outside. It sounded like a storm was coming; Ael felt uneasy. Suddenly, Ael longed to bolt from the room, dragging Mr. Mittens behind her, running up the grand staircase whose location she knew by heart, bolting through the doors of the master suite, launching into the arms of the man she saw as father. Try as she might, she couldn’t move. So, she wrapped up tighter in the blanket and squeezed her eyes closed.

Soon, Ael’s bedroom door opened, soft light from the hall seeping into the room to illuminate the entryway. Ael recognized Movar’s footsteps, biting back a sob, determined to pretend she was out like a light. She wanted to talk, she just didn’t know what to say. It had never been so hard to stay still but Ael managed, feeling the mattress shift under Movar’s weight, the gentleness of his hand upon her back.

“I know, the hour is late,” he began quietly, “just as I know you are likely asleep. However, there is something I must say before I retire to bed for the evening, something that cannot wait until morning, though I will say it again once you wake.”

Ael blinked hard around the tears welling up in her eyes.

“How I treated you this afternoon was unfair, winged one,” he said. Ael’s vision grew blurrier by the second. “I severely overreacted, that overreaction brought about not only by emotions I did not expect to have, but also, fear. If anyone caused strife today, it would be me,” he admitted. “After all you have been put through before ever coming to this world; today I fear I have invited further pain to rest in your heart, added insult to the still-deep, painful injuries you carry from your past. I never wanted you to feel such torment in this home, Ael, certainly not from me.” A soft sigh, a soft pat on her back. “I regret how I handled the situation. I am sorry. And I do hope you will be able to forgive my foolishness.”

Ael could no longer stay silent. He was actually apologizing to her, something no adult, certainly not her biological parents, had ever done to her before. And he wasn’t just apologizing, but taking the blame, asking forgiveness. It made Ael see just how much she meant to him.

“Of course, I forgive you,” said Ael, righting her position, though it was difficult at first due to being tangled in her blanket, tears on her cheeks in response to the words that had been so lovingly spoken. “You just had a bad day; I-I lash out when I’m tired, too.”

Without another thought, Movar gathered Ael in a tight hug. “Difficult day or not, I should not have spoken such harsh untruths. Neither you nor T’Rul did anything to warrant such hostility.”

“C-can I ask you something?” Ael asked, pulling out of the embrace, Movar tending to the fatherly task of brushing the tears from her cheeks. “T’Rul told me you care about and are afraid of losing me. Is that true?”

“Yes, Ael, it is,” he said without hesitation. “When I returned home and found you missing, I immediately assumed the worst. The blame for that lies solely on a certain committee member who mumbled something I did not find especially palatable. I feared you had been removed from the home in my absence, something that I can assure you will not be happening,” he promised.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” said Ael honestly. “I should have thought better of going outside.”

“You are not at fault, Ael. Believe that.”

Ael leaned in for another hug, sighing softly, admitting how tired she was of behaving so unlike the Romulan she claimed to be. And then she asked, in an even softer voice, why he had bothered with her to begin with.

“From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were a special individual, unique. Despite outward mannerisms, something told me you would one day be capable of greatness.”

Ael could barely believe it. “But the first time…” She paused. How he had seen anything even remotely decent in her the first time, when she’d stuttered and stammered, stared in unbelief at the desktop monitor on Commander Alirra’s desk, and then bolted from the room too overwhelmed to hold a proper conversation.

“I saw something in you even then,” he promised. “And when you spoke in the Imperial Hall, your claims sincere; the Fire in your heart, the passion in your voice when you spoke of the world you had always called home; they did not go unnoticed. Nor did the courage to speak without wavering when all odds were seemingly against you, the confidence displayed as you stood tall, daring anyone to speak out, deny your claims. Ael, you have a great strength in you that most who are Earth-born simply do not have, and though I know it may be difficult to see in yourself, know that I do. With time, and care it will develop; you will come to see it clearly.”

 _He has so much faith in me_ , Ael thought, bottom lip trembling. _More than I could ever have in myself_. “Thank you for believing in me,” she said. “No one ever has before now.”

“It is about time someone did. One day, my winged one, you will indeed do great things.”

Ael tipped her head, a little smile lighting eyes brimmed with hope. “I’m… _your_ winged one?” It sounded like she had just been accepted, one hundred percent as a member of the family, as Movar’s daughter. “You really mean it?”

More tears from Ael, another tight hug she could barely stand to leave. “I do indeed. You are a part of this family now. And no one,” he said, Ael pulling out of the embrace to stare, thankfully at him, “will ever take you away from it.”

“Having your trust, acceptance,” she said, barely able to hold it together, “means more to me than nearly anything else in the world.” What would mean more would be the right to call him father. In time, perhaps that honor would come. “All I can do these days is cry like a baby,” she sniffled, attempting to laugh.

“After all that you have been through, I expect sensitivity. In time, it too will subside. There are many new emotions to process, emotional and mental traumas that must heal. Rest assured that, now, you have a strong family unit behind you; you will not face those things alone.”

And so, as she hugged him tightly, Ael silently made a personal vow: She would learn to believe in herself, know deep down that she had at least two people in the world who cared for her, refused to see her fail; two people who only wanted the best for her life. As long as she had them beside her, she would be damned before ever admitting defeat.


	15. Chapter 15

**The sounds of songbirds outside my window woke me just before sunrise. Pale pink light peeked in through the curtains, and a smile lit my face when I recalled the previous evening, the moments before I’d finally managed to fall asleep. The way the quilt was wrapped around my body, tucking me into bed snugly, reminded me of the warmth, security, the comfort of being encased in the general’s hug. Words that had been said the evening before, the encouragement, the belief I could one day be something great also came rushing back. It felt good to know I had at least two people in the world behind me; I now had a family I could depend on for anything.**

**Oh, and another thing: Before I’d gotten all cozy in bed, preparing to sleep, the general lifted my room restriction. Maybe T’Rul would take me around the house today.**

**By the time I’d showered and dressed, the pale pinkness in the sky had given way to a pristine blue, sunlight already on the horizon. A growling stomach prompted a dash to the kitchen, hopeful I might be able to sneak a freshly done pastry away from the serving platter. The scent of pastries wasn’t yet in the air. Coffee, however; that I smelled. With each step toward the kitchen, the scent of freshly brewed coffee gathered strength. I actually didn’t mind it, though I wouldn’t have minded the scent of those delicious pastries joining it, either!**

**Still a bit too early for breakfast, I poked my head in the dining room, finding the source of the coffee that I could smell all the way down in the bedroom. The general was seated at the head of the table, one hand around a steaming cup of coffee, his other holding a PADD being carefully scrutinized. One look at him already sharply presented in military attire, and I knew it would likely be another day the home would see him absent.**

**“Good morning,” I said with a smile, heading down to the head of the table for a good morning hug.**

**“Good morning, my winged one.” I swear I was going to grin from ear-to-ear every time he used that nickname. “Did you sleep well?”**

**“I think so,” I said. “No nightmares last night, at least.”**

**“That is good to hear,” he said, taking a sip of the coffee from his mug.**

**“Are you going to be gone again today?” It seemed like having a day together with the family, good weather on the horizon, just wasn’t on the agenda.**

**I think my voice had the tiniest hint of a pout hidden in with the question, because he gave me an understanding smile and said, “I take it you do not approve.”**

**“It’s not that,” I began. “This is just the first morning everyone seems to be feeling good, and it looks to be good weather outside. I guess I just wanted to spend some time together, me, you, and T’Rul.” And then I admitted wanting to formally begin language lessons; I didn’t want to spend now till eternity leaning on my translator.**

**After promising me a day would come, soon, where we would be able to spend the day together, perhaps go into the city for a day, he also promised me a short language lesson once he returned home from the Capitol. It would mostly be to see what I knew, if anything T’Jal had drilled into me, stuck. T’Jal had also predominantly taught me low Rihan, the language of the generic populace. The general and his, now my, family? They all spoke High Rihan as well as low, the former being the main language used around the home.**

**My stomach rumbled, pulling my thoughts back to a possible early breakfast, away from the likelihood of my brain imploding at the thought of having to learn two languages in order to function both at home, and in society. The smell of coffee made me feel even hungrier, curiosity getting the better of me as I asked if I might try a little sip.**

**“It is a very strong brew, Ael,” he cautioned, but the curiousness remained. “Your palate may not care for the bitterness.”**

**A good sniff of the dark colored liquid had my eyes watering. Still, I wanted to try it. T’Rul made her way into the dining room to say good morning just as I took a modest drink from the mug, my first experience with a strong Romulan coffee. It was the foulest, bitterest drink I think I’d ever had the displeasure of tasting.**

**“Are you all right?” T’Rul asked. I think my face turned green. A coughing fit ensued; an involuntary tear rolled down my cheek.**

**“Elements,” I coughed and sputtered. Holding up a finger, I dashed into the kitchen for a drink of water, draining an entire glass before returning to the dining room.**

**“I don’t believe she likes it,” said T’Rul upon my return. The general agreed, attempting not to chuckle at the look on my face, failing miserably.**

**“It is an acquired taste,” he said. “One I have become accustomed to over the last century.”**

**I vowed to never touch a drop of it again. Only when my stomach grumbled for the third time did I ask about breakfast. With the general having to leave, likely sooner rather than later, now seemed to be as good a time as any to eat.**

**“We can have the same thing as yesterday, if you like,” T’Rul informed me. “There are quite a few pastries stored in the cool room that we can heat, and a fruit salad is easily put together.”**

**“Sounds good to me,” I said, volunteering to get to work on the fruit salad. There were still many interesting looking fruits to sample, though I didn’t yet know what made a good mix over one no one would be inclined to touch. Thankfully, the general offered to give me a hand, showing me which fruits went together best. A bloated cucumber-looking thing with a firm, purplish exterior gave way to a soft inner fruit of bright orange once the peel had been stripped away. A quick taste of the fruit yielded buttery smoothness on my palate, the flavor not unlike a mango. A part of me wanted to scamper away with the entire piece of fruit, claiming it as my own personal breakfast. I think I’d found a favorite. Several other fruits in shades of yellow, red, orange, one particular fruit snowy white made their way to the cutting board, and then into the bowl to be gently mixed together.**

**Breakfast came together in under fifteen minutes, T’Rul bringing a pot of fresh and fragrant tea to the table, the general refilling his coffee. Not feeling particularly like tea, I inquired about other choices, fruit juice, if they had any. A minute later and T’Rul presented me with an icy cold glass of ihor berry juice, the pale lavender drink sampled, quickly adored. Mildly sweet with a little kick of tartness at the back; I nearly drained the entire glass in seconds. Pleased to have found a new breakfast staple, I dug into my meal, enjoying the conversation circling around the table.**

**Once we’d eaten, the dishes cleared away, it was time to bid the general goodbye for the day. I wished he could stay, maybe work from his office, but something at the Capitol demanded his attention, and so he had to go.**

**“I hope today is a calmer day,” I said once we reached the front door.**

**“As do I,” he responded. “Fortunately, I foresee a much quieter day than yesterday.”**

**After a round of hugs, he headed out. I watched the flitter rise into the air and zoom away, and then I turned to T’Rul, wondering what we were going to get up to over the course of the day. Though she probably had studies or training to tend to, I didn’t. Not yet.**

**“I still owe you a bit of a tour,” she said. “I heard your restrictions were lifted.”**

**“Last night,” I confirmed with a nod, feeling excited. “I’d love to look around a little!”**

**T’Rul laughed. “Someone is certainly excited.”**

**I couldn’t deny it. After starting with telling me where I was not allowed to venture, only two places, in particular, one being her father’s private office, the other being the weapons room on the lower level, near the training area, I followed T’Rul down the hall.**

**Our first stop hadn’t been the sitting room, a place I’d already seen many times, but I actually stopped there of my own accord, finally taking notice of the bookshelves that lined one wall. I suppose I had noticed them before just not well, and so I headed over to peruse.**

**“I should take you to the library and reading room,” said T’Rul, pulling my attention away from the book about - I’m not sure what it was about, honestly – coercing me to follow her further down the hall and around a corner.**

**A set of double doors opened wide to reveal a modestly sized room that brightened when T’Rul called for the lights. A small, round table sat in the center of the room, round pillar candles in several sizes carefully positioned on its surface. On either side of the table at an angle sat an overstuffed chair, a seat perfect for curling up in, whiling away the hours with a good book. Behind the table sat a comfortable-looking couch with a green decorative blanket resting over one arm.**

**Shelving built into the entirety of the back and side walls housed a great many books of all sizes and, likely, genres. I picked a book at random, one with a green cover, sat down and began to leaf through it. Flowing Romulan script jumped out at me from the pages. I cocked my head and squinted a bit as if doing so would magically make me able to decipher the language I once thought I knew so well. For probably the next half hour I took books off the shelves to look through them, putting them back in their proper spots once finished, while also making mental notes on the ones I found the most fascinating, at least from the outside. Maybe I could convince the general, Daddy, to read one of them to me.**

**I smiled at the thought.**

**Down some seemingly endless hallways that reminded me of the nearly endless corridors of the warbird I’d come to the homeworld in, we went. Upstairs I peeked into some exceptionally nice guest rooms, as well as some equally nice servant’s quarters, not that this home had any of those quite yet. I supposed every estate of a High Born was constructed with having servants in mind.**

**Each time we passed by the sitting room, my gaze hovered on the window. I really wanted to see the gardens. T’Rul must have seen my longing stare because the gardens quickly became the next item on our “let’s go see this” list.**

**I fell into step with T’Rul as she led the way outside and into the gardens, an area I’d been dying to see in full since the day I’d come home. Sure, I’d seen the gardens through the large bay windows in the sitting room plenty of times, but never once had I actually been outside, meandering through them. Stepping out into the warm mid-morning sunlight transported me away to a whole new world or so it seemed. It was difficult to know where to look first. So, for a good five minutes, I stood there, barely six inches outside the door, staring at a garden teeming with exotic, colorful plant life.**

**“A beautiful sight, isn’t it?”**

**Nodding in reply, gaze still transfixed, I stepped forward, longing to see more. A stone path wound neatly around the garden, circling a large pond in the center. Flowers, bushes, flowering bushes, beautiful trees, one of which seemed to bear fruit in a bright golden hue; It was truly a sight to behold. Walking down the stone path, T’Rul seemed inclined to let me go where I pleased, I moved to sit on the raised edge around the pond, staring down into the pristinely clear water, reaching in to lift one of the colored stones adorning the bottom. Smooth, flat, rich chocolate brown with flecks of sunset gold. I turned the stone over and over in my hands, marveling at its smoothness, tossing it back into the water, watching it fall back to settle gently among its neighbors of different shades and colors.**

**Lifting my gaze, I took notice of a few pale pink and white water lilies floating at the opposite end of the pond, their gradient petals pointing towards the sun. I sat there by the pond, watching the lilies float along, listening to the rustling of the breeze through the trees for the longest time, my desire to see the rest of this wonderful new place pulling me back to my feet.**

**With T’Rul at my side we strolled along, though I seemed to stop every few steps to bend and sniff at the flowers, prod some low-hanging fruit on a tree, giggle like a child at the feel of the fuzziness of one particularly interesting pink blossom with long blue tendrils that proceeded to take hold of the sleeve of my dress.**

**“Oh, what’s this?” Tendrils in several shades of green climbed up a section of stone, a wall that separated the garden from whatever lay just beyond. Bunched together neatly, little upside-down “bells” hung from the tendrils, each one painted powder blue by Nature. I cupped one of the flowers in my hand, bent to sniff it. Other than a very minimal scent of freshness, a scent I could probably attribute to the way the air smelled, it didn’t smell like much of anything. Still, it was pretty to look at. Inside the flower boasted snowy white dots cascading up the inside of the blossom, a dark blue freckle in the center of each white dot.**

**A flowering bush bursting with bright sunset-colored flowers pulled my attention away, a hummingbird-like creature flitting hurriedly past my person to get to the dark blue blossoms across the way, took my attention soon after that. And then my gaze landed on what was to become my favorite spot in the gardens: jutting out from what appeared to be nowhere, near the back of the gardens, bushes, and plants obscuring it mostly from view was a rock. Not just any rock, but a kind-of flat one, one meant for sitting, for staring out over the gardens while engaged in quiet thought.**

**Deciding to get a better look, I moved closer, T’Rul nudging me a smidgen to the right, directing my steps onto a little path I hadn’t noticed. The path led upward on an incline so gentle I hadn’t really noticed it, leading out onto the surface of this sitting spot that overlooked everything. Without giving it much thought, I sat, my fingertips coming into contact with something velvety soft, a purplish-blue moss.**

**“This is really something,” I said, staring out at the gardens from my new perch. T’Rul lowered herself down beside me.**

**“It’s one of my favorite spots.”**

**“I can see why,” I said honestly, a note of awe in my voice. “I can just imagine watching the sunrise from up here, or stargazing late at night when sleep just won’t come.”**

**“Indeed,” said T’Rul. “There have been times I’ve sat here in the rain, doing little more than thinking. Unless it’s a torrential rainstorm, sitting out here in a gentle spring shower can be quite relaxing.”**

**“And wet,” I offered with a grin.**

**“Yes,” she chuckled, “that’s true.”**

**We sat in silence for a few minutes more until I asked, “So, how long did it take you and your father to do all of this?”**

**“Honestly, some of these plants are older than I am. Over the years I’ve helped my father with the garden, but he and my mother…” She paused, momentarily sad. “They were the ones who initially made it as you see, something grand and special.”**

**“Well, I think it’s perfect,” I said sincerely. Though I wanted to ask about T’Rul’s mother, I didn’t feel like now was the best time, and I still felt a bit too new to the family to inquire about such things. She would tell me in time when she felt like it. “You know, I think exploring the rest of the house can wait. For now, this is a good spot to be.”**

**“For now,” quickly turned into “all day,” the gardens so serene, the weather so lovely I couldn’t bear to go back inside. We even had our lunch outside, chatting easily, enjoying both the company and easy conversation. T’Rul even showed me a simple game called an’haih, a serious time waster that had me tossing stones in the air (almost into the pond out of frustration) for at least an hour and a half, maybe even two.**

**To play an’haih, one typically uses a bowl made from wood or stone, along with six small, flat stones. Traditionally, one side of the stones are painted black, the other side is painted white, though some people use colors based on personal preference. Anyway, one places the stones in the bowl then thumps the bottom of the vessel on the ground, hard enough to make the stones jump. The goal of the game is to make every stone land with the same color facing up. You can also shake the stones around in your hand a bit and toss them out on the ground, which is what we did. I decided if I ever had my own set of stones, I would paint one side a beautiful emerald green, the other side a really deep blue, like the deep waters of the ocean.**

**When T’Rul finally managed to pull me away from the tranquil setting of the gardens, an hour and change before dinnertime (yes, we really were out there all day) I don’t think I’d ever felt so relaxed, as content as I did right then. Though already relaxed to the point I felt sleepy, I headed to my room to have a soak in the tub, changing into the oversized lounging robe that I’d borrowed from T’Rul days ago, a comfortable article of clothing she’d since told me I could keep. Tying my damp hair up into a loose ponytail, I headed down to the sitting room, finding T’Rul already there, situated on the window seat with a book open on her lap.**

**“So, when is your father coming home?” I asked, quickly adding, when my stomach rumbled, “and what are we going to make for dinner?”**

**“He’ll likely be home within the hour,” she said, looking up from her book. “As for what to make for last meal… We’ve had such a lazy day that I haven’t given it much thought. We can all decide once Father returns home.”**

**About that time, the sounds of a flitter in the not-so-far distance prompted an excited smile. “Hey, I bet that’s him.” Without waiting for T’Rul to leave her book behind, I hurried to the front door, watching through it expectantly. When the craft landed in the designated spot out front, the urge to rush outside, running happily down the path to meet him felt all-consuming. By the time I decided, yeah, why not, to heading outside, I noticed something that made me halt.**

**“Wait,” I said, turning to T’Rul who finally left her book behind. “Is there someone else in the flitter?”**

**“Hmm, possibly,” she said, staring out through the door. “There have been occasions Father has brought someone home for last meal, usually someone military, but he generally always lets me know in advance.”**

**The urge to run and greet the general subsided. Who knew what some other Romulan might think of me? Probably nothing good. I stepped a little further through the door, straining to see who was with him, a flash of blond hair bringing on a suddenly sick feeling.**

**“No,” I said. “There is no way…”**

**It was all I could do to contain my sanity when I saw Commander Sela on solid ground and striding towards the front door.**

**…**

“What the fuck?” Ael blurted, clamping a hand over her mouth, making haste away from the door. Casting a glance at T’Rul, Ael saw her wearing a scowl, and then she beckoned Ael to follow. Repeating the expletive beneath her breath, Ael, after one more glance through the front door, followed T’Rul to the sitting room. Thoughts whirling, Ael desperately searched for a sound reason, anything to explain Sela’s sudden appearance. Unable to find such a reason, Ael looked to T’Rul for help, an explanation, preferably a believable one.

“It must have finally happened,” said T’Rul, more to herself than Ael who now looked confused.

“What finally happened?” The sound of the front door tore Ael’s attention away from T’Rul, the sound of boot falls, loud, almost angry, nearly caused her to duck behind one of the large leather chairs surrounding the table. Ael’s posture stiffened. “T’Rul, what’s going on?”

Leaning in, T’Rul said, “I promise to explain later or try to. At the moment -”

The boot falls halted at the entry to the sitting room, Sela pausing there to stare in, ignoring T’Rul’s presence, focusing on the human girl of small stature who had made a mockery of her back in the Imperial Hall so many days ago. Ael dared to stare back, knowing, at least within the walls of the general’s estate, no one could dare harm her. The things Ael glimpsed in Sela’s stare almost made her retch; it almost reminded her of the way those in her immediate family used to look at her: contemptuously, hatefully; a look that clearly said if there was a way to get rid of her without being done away with themselves, they’d do it in a heartbeat. 

In a great show of courage, at least for her, Ael nearly yelled out for Sela to stop staring at her, along with a few choice words and phrases that would no doubt earn her a good scolding. Thankfully, Movar hadn’t been terribly far behind Sela, coming upon the scene that saw the pair staring at one another none-too-kindly. A stern, no-nonsense glance in Sela’s direction saw the woman roll her eyes before stalking away towards the rear of the home. Ael breathed out an audible sigh of relief.

“Father,” T’Rul began in an angry, disbelieving whisper, “ _What_ in the Element’s names is that woman doing back in this house?

 _Back_? Ael wondered. Maybe Movar would explain right here, give her some sort of clue as to the reason behind Sela’s sudden appearance. Unfortunately, the only thing Movar said in reply to his daughter’s agitated question was, “We will discuss it later. For now, tread carefully around Sela. Ignore her if necessary.”

“Not a problem,” said T’Rul, unable to keep the distaste For Sela from her voice. “I doubt Sela will show her face terribly much, anyway.”

“Indeed.” Turning towards Ael, Movar could see her in need of distraction. Gaze riveted to the entryway, almost as if waiting for Sela to make a return, start an altercation or worse, Ael stood rigidly, unblinking, hands tightly gripping the edge of the chair to the point the skin on her knuckles went white. When Movar’s hand settled on her shoulder, Ael jumped, startled. “I think a distraction is in order.”

“Yes, please,” Ael said anxiously. Leaning in for a hug, Ael reveled in how safe she suddenly felt, wondering how possible it might be to stay encased in her father’s arms for the rest of her life, or at the very least until Sela took it upon herself to get lost and stay that way.

“I believe you were promised a language lesson earlier this morning, upon my arrival home,” said Movar when Ael finally pulled away from the embrace.

Though Ael doubted she could concentrate with Sela in the house, she nodded in immediate agreement, Movar momentarily taking his leave to secure a PADD for Ael to use during the lesson. Once he’d gone, Ael grabbed T’Rul by the shoulders and demanded, quietly, “T’Rul, seriously, _what_ is she doing here?”

“She’s not _supposed_ to be here at all,” said T’Rul, again more to the air than to anyone else.

“Yeah, I got that.” Feeling annoyed, Ael stepped back, T’Rul issuing a little sigh and folding her arms loosely.

“To be honest, I’m not entirely certain how best to explain. OK, look, you remember our conversation the other day, about the other estate, yes?” Ael nodded. “Sela lived there, though, before that, she lived here. I’m almost positive the other home has cast her out.”

Eyes widening, Ael cast a quick glance toward the entryway; she didn’t want to T’Rul’s explanation to be interrupted by the return of her father. “Wait, so that means she’s a part of this family? How in the hell?”

After being told to mind her tongue, given that Movar tended to detest swearing, T’Rul continued explaining as best she could.

“I was a young child when Sela lived here, no more than five when she became forced to take her leave and return to the other estate. That other place,” she said, pulling a face. “is where she belongs, in my opinion. Many who live there are as pretentious as she, overly-opinionated, more arrogant than anyone has a right to be. And then there’s obnoxious, selfish; quite a few over there believe the Empire was built to serve them.”

“Sounds like she should have fit in over there, then.”

“Given how often she challenged my father’s authority, undermined decisions concerning the home he is supposed to be the head of; if she tried that at the other estate, it’s no wonder she found herself tossed through the front door. There is one person in particular in that household who despises humans with all the passion he can muster; he’s never been fond of Sela.”

A whole new set of questions were suddenly on Ael’s lips. If Sela had been so despised at the other estate, why did she remain there for such an extended period? What had she done that finally resulted in her being kicked to the curb? What she really wanted to know involved Sela and her link to the family but that was a question Ael knew she really didn’t have a right to ask about, at least not yet.

“So, it would stand to reason Sela got into yet another scuffle with someone there, probably the head of _that_ home,” T’Rul said with a shake of her head. “Though that woman would die before ever begging anyone for anything, she probably came close to it when she asked about returning here. Father probably, only barely, allowed it.”

“And if she gets kicked out of this house?” Ael looked hopeful. T’Rul had to smile.

“If Sela succeeds in getting kicked out of this home for the second time, and she probably will at some point, she will also lose her status within the family, erased from every document that bears mention of her name. And a Romulan without identity…”

“Doesn’t exist,” Ael finished.

“The majority of those who are exiled generally commit suicide in their homes in an attempt to have some sort of honorable death. Those who do not are cast off-world, never allowed to return. And even though he knows those details, even though…” A pause. “Let’s just say Father will not hesitate to have her removed from this home, should the challenges and nonsense begin again.”

The sound of approaching footsteps prompted a change of discussion. “So, uh,” Ael tried to find a new topic in a hurry.

“We’ll try and go keroshback riding next week, OK?” T’Rul said a little too loudly. Movar could instantly tell something was “up” but didn’t question either of the girls about what may have been discussed, though he had a feeling he knew. “I may prepare the meal a little earlier than usual,” she said on her way out of the sitting room. “I could use a distraction myself.”

Ael watched her go, turning back to Movar, accepting the PADD and flashing an “I’m OK, I think” kind of smile before settling down on the window seat overlooking the gardens, for her much-anticipated language lesson. The lesson began with Ael showing Movar what she knew, or at least what she remembered from her time with T’Jal. For the second time, Ael was tasked with learning the bare basics of the language, mostly because in the home she now resided in, the province in which it sat, it all meant she would be focusing the majority of her attention on learning High Rihan. Low Rihan would no doubt be needed along the way, but, for now, Ael needed to learn the more privileged version of the language, the most.

There were many similarities, also, many differences, Ael feeling drained of energy after only an hour. At least she’d been able to concentrate more than originally assumed.

“I’ll do better tomorrow,” said Ael, giving the PADD one last look before attempting to hand the device back. Movar motioned for her to keep it.

“It is now yours. Use it to study and we will go through it again tomorrow.”

"OK. I may go see if T’Rul needs help in the kitchen.” Before she hopped up off the comfortable seat, Ael looked down at her attire, the oversized lounging robe that she often slept in, comfy and warm, prompting her to ask, “Is this OK to wear to dinner?” T’Rul had said yes when Ael had asked earlier on in the afternoon, but that conversation had happened long before Sela had stepped through the front door.

 “Are you comfortable?” Ael nodded. “Then it is just fine, my winged one.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ael mentally reminded herself that she would likely be enduring nasty stares, rude mumbling no matter what she wore. At least some part of her would feel comfortable during those instances.

Quickly stopping by her room long enough to toss the PADD on her bed, Ael bounded down the hall, toward the kitchen in search of T’Rul, who she found sprinkling dark green, fragrant herbs on a mix of colorful roasted vegetables.

“How did your lesson go?” T’Rul gave the vegetables in the bowl a little stir.

“Mostly all right,” Ael responded, sneaking a small slice of an orangey-yellow vegetable in the bowl when she thought T’Rul wasn’t looking. “I had a little trouble concentrating because of Sela being in the house. Having to start over for the third time; it feels more daunting than I’d like it to.”

“First, I saw that.” T’Rul smirked and eyed the serving bowl of vegetables. Ael grinned sheepishly. “Second, pay Sela no mind. Ignore her. She’s not worth the trouble. Lastly, I can understand, at least to a point, how you may be feeling. A rather large task that will take much time and patience, but worth it in the end. Father will have you speaking like a native born in no time at all.”

“I hope so,” said Ael with a sigh, fingering the translator around her wrist. One day, it would come off, stowed away in the drawer of her desk, never needed again. Today was definitely _not_ that day. “As for Sela; ignoring her isn’t going to be easy. Did you see the way she glared at me earlier? I think she might have been trying to vaporize me with her stare.”

“Someone ought to vaporize _her_ ,” T’Rul mumbled. “Try your best. If that woman so much as steps a toe out of line, Father will handle her.”

“Maybe it would be a good idea if I hole up in my room, eat something after Sela’s left the table,” said Ael softly. “I don’t know what she might try during dinner, and to be honest, I doubt I could handle her staring at me through what I’m sure will be the entire meal.”

T’Rul turned from her task of pulling some soft, buttery rolls out of the oven, placing a hand on Ael’s shoulder and said sincerely, “You are family, Ael, which means you have a place at the table, in your usual spot to Father’s right. I speak for both of us when I say you’re wanted there and would be missed if you were away.”

Tears sprang to Ael’s eyes at T’Rul’s heartfelt words, hugging her tight. “Thank you.”

“I meant every word. Hopefully, Sela realizes how barely she’ll be tolerated, forgoing mealtime altogether,” T’Rul suggested, Ael nodding in approval.

“Here’s hoping.” Ael crossed her fingers for a bit of good fortune, explaining the gesture to T’Rul. “I know, Romulans don’t believe in luck, but maybe just this once it couldn’t hurt.”

“In this instance, we could use a bit of good fortune,” T’Rul agreed. After coercing T’Rul through a bit of spontaneous laughter to cross her fingers too, just for a moment, the girls worked together to get the last of the meal situated on serving plates and bowls to bring to the table.

“Mmm, this smells nice,” said Ael when given the bowl of herbed vegetables to carry. “It all does.” Perhaps tomorrow she could help with the meal preparation. The thoughts fell away, appetite taking a sudden nosedive the second Ael set foot into the dining room. Not only was a certain hybrid commander already in the room and at the table, but seated in Ael’s normal spot!

 _Get out of my seat this second_! Ael shouted internally, nowhere near brazen enough to blurt out exactly what she felt. It took Ael several seconds to notice the bowl in her hands wobbling unsteadily, due to a bout of the shakes, mostly from anger. Carefully placing the bowl on the table, Ael began to work up the necessary courage to say _exactly_ what was on her mind, without backing down like the cowardly human Sela saw her as. T’Rul intervened before Ael could speak.

“That space at the table is reserved,” said T’Rul as politely as she could manage. “Move down by at least one space.”

Sela merely leaned back in the chair she’d chosen, folding her arms in annoyance. “I didn’t realize we had assigned seating,” she said coolly, glaring at Ael all the while.

“In a matter of speaking, yes, we do. And now you know. So, if you’ll kindly vacate Ael’s spot at the table…” This time, a hint of steely firmness edged T’Rul’s tone. “My father will tell you the same, Sela, and he’ll _make_ you move.”

For several tense moments, Ael doubted Sela would budge, the woman’s blue eyes cold, brimming with malice. Eventually, heaving an annoyed sigh, Sela moved as requested. “This is absurd,” she said, yanking the next chair at the table out with exceptional force. “Next thing you’ll tell me is this one is reserved for the family _pet_.”

Ael bristled when Sela glanced over at the mention of the word “pet”. A smart reply nearly popped out of Ael’s mouth without warning, Movar setting foot in the dining room the only reason why she bit her tongue to the point of pain.

The sight of three discontented individuals, though only two he actually cared about, prompted Movar to ask, “Is there a problem here?”

 _Hell yes!_ Ael almost yelled, wishing she could find the courage to at least point at Sela in accusation, though from Movar’s expression he clearly knew who the instigator had to be.

“There is no problem, Father,” said T’Rul calmly. “We had a momentary misunderstanding regarding the seating arrangement. It has been taken care of. Ael and I will finish bringing the meal to the table.”

Motioning for Ael to follow, T’Rul made her way back to the kitchen, Ael following, glancing over her shoulder as the dining room was left behind. _I have to sit beside that horrible woman,_ Ael thought, barely noticing the beautifully seasoned hlai steaks, resting almost elegantly on a serving plate that T’Rul asked her to carry. “Something is going to happen,” Ael said sullenly. “Let her have my chair; could I sit beside you instead?”

“Of course.”

Ael breathed a sigh of relief. Being on the opposite side of the table from Sela was definitely better than having to sit next to her. The meal now on the table, the girls went off to collect the drinks, T’Rul assuring her father they didn’t mind. Besides, it would give them both another few, precious minutes of peace away from Sela.

A pot of fragrant hot tea in one hand, a pitcher of ice cold water in the other, T’Rul asked Ael if she was ready for mealtime.

“One second,” Ael responded, pouring a modest amount of baby-blue colored liquid, kali-fal, a more potent, smoother, less abrasive drink than traditional Romulan ale into a crystal glass. “Perfect.” Nodding with a smile, Ael grabbed a seperate bottle of ale around the neck and rejoined T’Rul who treated her to a little smirk.

“Now, who could the glass of kali-fal be for, I wonder?”

“Not for Little Miss Sunshine,” Ael said with a little laugh. “Someone like her doesn’t deserve a single drop of the really high-class stuff.”

“Everyone in this house will agree with you on that.”

Once at the table, Ael placed the bottle of ale down with a little bang, feigning sheepishness, declaring the object had slipped from her hands. “Anyone can have the ale, I _guess_ ,” said Ael, glancing at Sela distastefully. “But this is for you.” Ael handed the glass of kali-fal directly to Movar, smiling fondly, leaning in to give him a quick hug before sliding into the seat beside T’Rul.

 _I’m not even going to look at her_ , Ael decided, certain to find Sela glaring at her yet again if she dared look across the way. A little glance revealed a sight that nearly caused Ael to laugh, and also to wonder, _what the hell is that woman doing? She stares any harder at that bottle of ale and she’s either going to shatter it or pop a blood vessel._ Ael gave T’Rul a little nudge.

Leaning in close, T’Rul whispered with a hint of a chuckle, “She’s waiting for a servant to pour her a glass.”

_Wow. Well, given everything I’ve heard about her, and that other home, it doesn’t surprise me. I wonder if she knows this home is servant-less? I’m certainly not going to pour her highness anything!_

Ael concentrated on filling her plate, trading glances every now and then with T’Rul who rolled her eyes at Sela’s staring contest with the bottle of ale. After two minutes time, Sela reached across and grabbed the bottle, filling her glass to the brim with the abrasive sapphire-colored liquid. Momentarily her gaze settled on the crystal glass of kali-fal, angered by the realization she wasn’t about to get a drop of it. Instead of a drink that boasted smoothness on one’s palate, she had to make do with a nearly unpalatable liquor, one which nearly always succeeded in giving her a horrid migraine. The last one had lasted two days.

Shaking her head, Ael began to eat, quick to become tired of the unease, and the silence around the table. _Forget Sela_ , Ael thought sternly. _This is your family. So, what if her majesty doesn’t like you! Don’t be afraid to talk to the people who actually care about you. If Sela can’t stand the sight of a happy family, that’s her problem._

“How’d your day go today?” Ael asked Movar in a lighter, happier tone than she felt like. Perhaps a little conversation would bolster her mood. “Any better than yesterday? Calmer, maybe?”

Movar barely had time to open his mouth, Sela butting in with an annoyed, “He is _not_ at liberty to discuss what goes on at the Capitol with you,” before draining half the ale in her cup in a single swallow.

“Um, I didn’t _ask_ him for any details actually,” said Ael, clearly bothered by the interruption. Couldn’t this woman leave her alone, go elsewhere for her meal?

“Sela, my father is capable of answering for himself,” said T’Rul shortly. “To be blunt: Ael has not asked an inappropriate question. Every evening, I ask my father how his day has been; he _always_ has an answer to give.”

“Indeed.” Movar cast a warning glance in Sela’s direction. So help him, if she dared make his girls upset… Turning back to Ael, he said, “It was indeed a calmer day than yesterday. The quietness allowed me time to catch up on some much-needed reports.”

“Quiet days are good,” said Ael with a nod, taking a drink from her class, rolling her eyes at the sight of Sela stabbing a bit too roughly at a vegetable on her plate. “T’Rul and I had one of those too.”

“We stayed inside for some of the morning,” said T’Rul. “Other than meandering about the estate, and let me assure you Ael was plenty curious about just about everything…”

Ael’s focus on the conversation began to wane; she could hear Sela mumbling again. “I really enjoyed the gardens,” Ael offered out of the blue.

“I almost couldn’t coerce her back inside for anything,” T’Rul said with a laugh. “We took our midday meal out there, talked for a while; I think we played an’haih for about two hours straight.”

“It took me about that long to get the stones to land all facing the right way, but I did it,” said Ael proudly, neglecting to mention how, at one point, the game frustrated her to the point of nearly throwing all of her stones in the pond. After a few minutes of silence, Ael content to concentrate on the delicious meal in front of her, she brought up how T’Rul had, aside from showing her around, had also shown, or rather told her where not to go without permission. “Your office and the weapons room are off limits without you being there or permission. Are those the only two places, or did I forget one?”

“T’Rul informed you correctly. I am also pleased to hear you enjoyed your day.”

“I might want to have a look sometime, at the weapon’s room, if it’s OK of course,” said Ael, refraining from bouncing in her seat like an overexcited child. “It sounded interesting.”

“Like you would ever be allowed access,” Ael swore she heard Sela mutter around a forkful of meat.

 _Count to ten, be calm_ , Ael thought to herself, barely able to resist the urge to smirk when she heard Movar tell Sela rather bluntly to shut her mouth. _Don’t let that irritable woman get to you. Don’t let her destroy the wonderful day you’ve had. Stay focused on Daddy and T’Rul, don’t even look at Sela out of the corner of your eye anymore_.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Ael said, determined to get back on track, to continue having decent conversation with the ones at the table who mattered, “I had a little look in the reading room and library, and at the bookshelves in the sitting room that I honestly hadn’t noticed before. Though I couldn’t read much, I found one or two that seemed interesting, mostly by cover design. How long did it take you to collect so many?”

“Centuries. Many of the books in the library have been passed down through the generations of our family. You said two novels, in particular, captured your interest. Do you remember the titles?”

Thinking back, Ael couldn’t remember the first book that had caught her eye. Had it been green with a mogai bird, wings spread wide, embossed on the cover? Maybe. The second book she remembered clearly: A book bound in what looked to be leather, lovingly worn from having been read countless times over the many years, dog-eared in sections when place needed to be kept in a hurry; there had even been lines of text in red, some green, most in black. In many ways, it almost reminded Ael of her journal. Perhaps that was enough to make her curious of the contents.

“I don’t remember the title of the first, but the second one I looked at is called “For the Glory”. T’Rul said it’s your favorite book.”

“Correct. It is a book I have read over one hundred times in the last century at least,” said Movar, drinking from his glass, a fond look in his eyes at recalling the times he’d been lost in the pleasure of such an immersive work of art.

To be read so many times over the years, Ael figured the book to be an exceptional read, becoming curious enough about the tale, she asked, “If it’s not a bother, would you consider reading it to me?” Hopeful eyes beseeched him; she’d never had anyone read a book of any sort to her before. For a moment, Ael pictured the scene: Late in the evening, curled up beside Movar in one of the large leather chairs in the sitting room, pale wisps of moonlight flitting in through the skylight. There would be nothing less than rapt attention as Movar read to her, treating her to a story that had been among his favorites for well over a century. Maybe it would become her favorite, too.

“Perhaps a chapter or two later this evening,” Movar agreed. Ael grinned in delight, quickly coercing T’Rul to come and listen to the story when it was time to be told.

Across the way, Sela had returned to mumbling, this time so softly no one could make out the words, only the tone behind them. To see Movar and T’Rul treating Ael so amiably did more than simply upset Sela. It lit a fire upon an emotion she hadn’t felt in decades, one might say it should have been enough to turn her green as any Romulan’s blood. What right did either of them have to allow this thing into their home, the family of all things? And Movar; after what happened so many years past… How could he even stomach the notion of being so near another _anything_ of human descent?

Everyone at the table did their best to tune Sela out, Ael having a bit more difficulty with the task than anyone. Still, she pasted on a cheerful façade and continued chatting with her family, even though Sela’s mumblings cut her to the quick.

The time of uncomfortable silence stretched on more than most at the table preferred, shattered when a low-pitched whine floated into the dining room from Movar’s private office, alerting to an incoming call. Within seconds of Movar excusing himself to take the call, the mumblings from Sela’s place settings began, and then the nasty glances that Ael doubted she would get used to even if she lived to be one hundred. Lifting her head, jutting out her chin in a gesture of defiance, Ael narrowed her eyes and huffed out a breath, deciding to say something to Sela before anger at the whole situation made her scream.

_I am tired of having to sit here and take her crap. I haven’t done anything to deserve it. Well, other than being human, I guess, but she’s half! There she goes again, muttering at me over the rim of her glass, staring at me like she hopes it’ll be enough to make me burst into flames. With my new family behind me; maybe it wouldn’t hurt to stand up for myself, for once._

“Do you think you could stop casting hateful glances at me every other second,” said Ael once she’d gathered her courage. Sela only glowered in response; Ael swore she heard the woman snort in her ale. “What in the hell is your problem?” Ael felt angry. She was tired of being hated for no reason, treated as though she had no honor, wasn’t worthy of respect.

“Ael,” began T’Rul, nudging the girl with her elbow.

A quick glance at T’Rul, then right back to Sela. “No, I deserve an answer,” Ael said shortly, rewarded by silence. “You have a lot to say, to mumble with the general sitting at the head of the table, but now that he’s gone, you say nothing.” More silence, at least until Ael said, “figured you were only whoring for attention. Probably got those instincts from your mother.”

Ael had little idea what made her utter the insult at all, other than provoking the woman into providing her with some sort of answer in regards to the hateful stares and insulting mumbles. Instantly, Sela took to her feet, both angered and shocked. “ _What_ did you say?”

“Are you deaf or just dumb?” Ael growled, scarcely caring about the hole being dug beneath her feet with each word from her mouth, leading to hot water.

“Sit down, Ael,” T’Rul hissed from her chair, reaching up to grasp the sleeve of Ael’s robe, tugging forcefully enough to see the girl’s backside connect involuntarily with the seat of her chair. “You’re going to end up on restriction for a month,” she whispered low, into Ael’s ear. _And that’s if you aren’t the recipient of a tanned backside first_ , she concluded in thought.

 _You should have kept your hand on my sleeve_ , thought Ael, rising back out of her chair. Instead of firing off another insult, one guaranteed to incite yelling, Ael, gazing straight into the coldness of Sela’s blue eyes said, “Just back _off_ ; I’ve done nothing to you, so how about leaving me the fuck alone?”

Cheeks flushed red, chest heaving, Ael huffed out a breath and folded her arms tightly. Sela regarded the small human girl with distaste, glaring back. To think this small, frail, little human nothing could stand up for itself; Sela had half-expected Ael to make haste back to her bedroom, cower on her bed, not show her teeth like a thrai that had been backed into a corner.

“Listen to me, _hevam_ ,” Sela spat, voice cold, filled with hate, “I despise your kind. I _loathe_ them with every last ounce of my being. No, I do not think you are a Romulan. Your words back in the Imperial Hall may have convinced a select, especially foolish few, but I am not swayed nearly as easily. Your little tale of woe may have succeeded in granting you the privilege of living beneath this roof for a time, but know it will not last. I am watching you, human, and I am watching you closely. The second you take a single misstep, showcasing your true allegiances; it will be the last mistake you _ever_ make.”

Ears burning at the derogatory slur, Ael scoffed at Sela’s threat. A few days ago, such a thing might very well have seen Ael crumble; currently, Ael felt too angry to allow cowardice to even peek around the corners of her mind.

“You’re really a special kind of stupid if you think you can hurt me,” Ael said a little too loudly. “I don’t just live here temporarily; I’m a part of this family now. The general would have your head on a platter if you _dared_ touch me.” Suddenly feeling invincible, Ael added, “So, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave me alone.”

A snort of laughter escaped Sela. “Do you seriously believe that you have family here? All you are, child, is an _assignment_. The general isn’t fool enough to actually trust a human. One tends not to make the same mistake twice.”

Feeling confused, about to cry, Ael bit back the urge to dissolve into tears at the table, especially in front of Sela, and growled, “You’re wrong! You evil, nasty, inbred _daeseka_ ; how dare you imply-”

At the sound of quickly approaching footsteps, Ael clamped her mouth shut, retaking her seat, though continued to trade murderous glares with Sela, averting her eyes away from the instant Movar stepped into the dining room.

The tension, the suddenly hateful atmosphere cast a sense of uneasiness about the room; Movar could sense it immediately upon entering. And then there were the things he could recall hearing on his way back to the dining hall, insults that were shouted, growled in threat. Eyes immediately focused on Sela who stood slightly bent, palms face down on the table, leaning in as she glared across its surface at Ael, a young teenager whose cheeks were mottled red by an angry flush, gaze downcast, looking a cross between abashed and aggravated.

“What has happened here?” The way Movar spoke, low, stern; it made Ael want to curl up in her chair, mumble a little apology for how she’d chosen to behave. It made her feel a little better when she saw the comment aimed mostly at Sela.

 _Keep your mouth closed,_ T’Rul thought, aiming a pointed glance toward Sela who had little interest in keeping unwanted opinions to herself. Before Sela dared speak, T’Rul said, “We had a bit of unwanted commentary,” while staring directly at Sela, careful not to nudge Ael too forcefully. “However, there is no longer an issue.” Again, the pointed look was given.

“Oh, there is definitely an issue,” Sela insisted, standing tall, brandishing a finger at Ael who fought to remain seated rather than leap back to her feet and shout.

“Don’t point that thing at me,” Ael mumbled under her breath. T’Rul nudged her again.

“Someone should make it a point to teach that _thing_ its place,” Sela said, catching Ael’s quiet mumbling.

Ael lost the desire to sit (mostly) quietly, leaping to her feet. “Look who’s talking!” Ael hollered. “All you’ve done all night is glare at me, mumble rudely, and even used racial terms when addressing me. I got tired of listening to it, of seeing the nasty stares, so I decided to stand up for myself.”

“Oh, and she made her point quite well,” said Sela to Movar, adding, “The cursing, the insults; one might well assume her to have been raised among low-class savages. Then again, she is _human_ after all.” This time, Ael had little to counter with. Everything Sela mentioned, Ael had done. It had been far too hard to stay civil. “And now she has nothing to say. With you watching,” again, she glanced to Movar, “it really isn’t surprising.”

“Why are you such a bitch?” Ael blurted, wiping at the standing wetness in her eyes.

Sela’s cheeks reddened, lips pursed tightly, fists clenching and unclenching at her sides. “If you dare insult me but once more…”

“Actually, it was a question,” Ael retorted angrily, barely aware how Movar stared at her in disbelief. Why he’d never seen such behavior from her before not that he could entirely blame it. “Feel free to take it how you want, this too.” Ael flashed a crude gesture that even Sela seemed to know, the woman’s eyes lit with rage.

“Why you insolent little brat,” seethed Sela. “Now you see to what I was referring.” T’Rul clamped a hand over Ael’s mouth to stop her from responding further, at least until Sela tacked on, rather loudly, “This little human nothing ought to be shot!”

Turning her head sharply, dislodging T’Rul’s hand, Ael shouted back, “And you should go fuck yourself since I highly doubt any man in his right mind would ever have you, you filthy half-breed! I’d rather be a biological human than whatever-the-hell it is you are!”

“Ael!” At the sudden, shocked, almost gasping sound of her name being spoken, it finally sunk in exactly how she’d been acting, and exactly who had seen her. Slowly, worriedly, Ael turned her head to catch the gaze of her father, feeling desperately ashamed of her behavior the second his eyes met hers. To say Movar was shocked could easily be called the understatement of the year. It hurt Ael far more to see the disappointment behind his stare. Had she ruined everything?

Never quite knowing how to properly stand up for herself, going by years of experience in dealing with hurtful parents, a nasty older sibling who had never been shy when it came to flinging insults or curses during a fight; it was little wonder she’d gone and done something inappropriate. Even so, Ael knew she’d just bought herself some trouble.

“Young lady,” began Movar in a tone far calmer than Ael felt she deserved, “you are to go to your room.”

“I- But she-” Ael swore she saw Movar’s disappointment in her actually increase, she couldn’t be sure. Either way, Ael could barely blame him if it were true. Not only had she behaved horribly, now she was disobeying, attempting to argue her case in fitful stammers rather than making haste back to her room. “Yes, sir,” Ael finally managed. It still felt impossible to put one foot in front of the other.

T’Rul noticed the struggle, taking Ael gently by the arm to guide her from the dining room. “I’ll take her, Father.”

Ael allowed T’Rul to lead her away, whether, towards a time of quiet reflection over what she’d done or her impending doom, she couldn’t be certain. It didn’t help that Ael couldn’t quite seem to block Sela’s voice from her ears, the woman still, loudly, proclaiming what Ael deserved for not only her outburst at the table but also, for the “crime” of being human. After hearing one last “She could use a good beating if anything,” from the irate woman still in the dining room, Ael sprinted the last few steps to her room, T’Rul barely managing to slip inside before the door painfully closed on her person.

The last thing Ael had heard before getting to her room, now repeated over and over in her head, forcing Ael to clamp her hands to her temples. Memories she wished could be forgotten found their way to the forefront of her thoughts, a childhood of abuse, misery, and utter torment flooding in without consent. The first, the only time she’d dared to stand up for herself, lobbing back insults in the same way they were always given; those bruises had lasted for weeks. To think of what an angry Romulan could do, one a foot and a half taller, much larger, nearly three times the strength of the average human male…

 _No! He’s not like that!_ Ael screamed internally. Why did she have such a difficult time believing it now, what she already knew to be the truth regarding her new father? Suddenly, Ael began to restlessly pace, mumbling incoherently. Stopping by the window, Ael began to open it. T’Rul’s hand gently pushed it closed.

“Ael, come, let’s talk.” Guiding the suddenly fretful girl over to the bed, T’Rul coerced her to sit. Ael could only fidget in worry.

“I want to run,” Ael confided quietly, a little hoarsely.

“I know. Listen, nothing you are expecting is going to happen, all right?” T’Rul’s attempts to soothe Ael almost felt in vain, the other girl staring straight ahead, complexion pale, hands restlessly fidgeting on her lap.

“T-the things that Sela said…” _She said I should be beaten, shot. The general, Daddy, he would never…_ Try as she might, Ael couldn’t shake the foreboding thoughts.

“Father will handle Sela, you need not worry about her. At some point, Father will be in to speak with you, but do not fear,” T’Rul insisted. “You know he would never harm you in the ways your old family, if you can even call them that, used to. Yes, there is the likelihood of consequences, however…”

The sound of footsteps in the hall tore Ael’s attention away from T’Rul, the voice calling after those footsteps, Sela’s, made Ael stare wide-eyed at the door, so consumed by fear she pressed tight against T’Rul, seeking refuge from the coming storm.

“Are you serious?” Sela’s voice called from the top of the hall. “She is human; what in Air’s name makes you so certain this one is trustworthy? What happened the last time you dared give one of their kind an ounce of trust? There will come a day when she will turn on you, this home, the Empire as a whole.”

Ael couldn’t hear Movar’s reply through the fog that had chosen to settle over her thoughts. A high-pitched whine, a bit of static seemed to be the only sounds she could hear, the urge to flee stronger than it had been before.

“Please, j-just let me r-run,” Ael begged, though didn’t move from where she sat huddled against T’Rul.

“Not a chance, a’rhea,”

A moment later, the door opened, Ael squeezing her eyes closed. _I can’t bear to see him so disappointed in me, all measures of trust gone from his eyes. Even if he doesn’t hurt me, the things he could say; what if he casts me out of his home, throws me onto the unforgiving streets, forcing me to fend for myself. I wouldn’t last half a day. I’d rather the beating._

Quick to sense Ael’s further distress, wariness, T’Rul whispered something in the younger girl’s ear, carefully detached herself from tightly clamped hands, got to her feet, and then asked her father for a private word out in the hall. Movar nodded, pausing before following T’Rul, concerned by Ael’s frightened expression not that he’d honestly expected to see anything different. At present, she couldn’t bear to look at him for fear of what she might see.

Once father and daughter were in the hall, Ael made her way from the bed to the far corner of the room, pulling her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them, shivering uncontrollably.

“I-I trust him,” Ael whispered aloud. “I-I trust him. He’s n-not going t-to hurt me. I-I trust him.”

She hated herself for suddenly being unable to believe it.

 

 …

**I lost track of how long I’d been alone in my room, though it had likely only been somewhere in the neighborhood of three to five minutes. When the door opened again, T’Rul had gone, Daddy gazing at the most pitiful thing he’d likely ever seen: Me, huddled in the far corner of the room, shivering, repeating “I trust him” over and over again, stammering all the while, staring at my knees. Though I did not lift my gaze, I watched him close the door, walk the few feet to my bed to sit. Silently, I wondered what might be about to happen; I hated myself for the situation I’d put him in, having to figure out what to do with me, exactly what punishment would not only be appropriate for my foul mouth and vulgar gesture towards Sela but what wouldn’t cause me to be terrified of him forever.**

**Honestly, I was mentally going through such a list myself. Not such a great activity in my current state.**

**For a minute or two, he sat there on my bed, staring over to where I sat all huddled up. I stole a quick glance; he seemed conflicted about how to proceed, concerned by my current behavior, a far cry from my display in the dining room. And then I heard him mumble quietly as he looked my way, “No child should ever fear their parent,” to which I immediately wanted to reply,**

**_“I don’t know how else to be. Forgive me for having so little trust in you_ ** **.” But I didn’t. Sitting in the corner, staring back down at the floor, beginning to rock; it seemed the best option lest I burst into tears. With my track record, tears probably weren’t terribly far away. What else was new…**

**“Ael,” I heard him call out a minute later in a calmer voice than I knew I deserved, “come here.”**

**Though the words filled me with dread, I longed to obey their simplicity. He wanted me to go to him. That’s it. For a minute, I gazed over, my mind running a mile a minute as I fought to decide what to do. He spoke calmly; I didn’t even hear a hint that told yelling might be on the way. There were no threats, no curses; his body language definitely wasn’t threatening. There only seemed to be a steadfast patience, waiting for me to gather the courage to do as he asked.**

**For a split second, I wondered why he hadn’t just come over to the corner, grabbed me by the arm and hauled me up, but then I remembered he was no monster and berated myself quietly for thinking he could be. A little shift to the left, arms falling away from where they’d been wrapped tightly around my knees; I contemplated moving. Daddy called to me again, no change in demeanor or voice.**

**I barely managed to utter a meek little, “I-I can’t,” before resuming my earlier position. A minute more and I saw him stand; A feeling of sadness washed over me when I felt my heart fearfully flip-flop in my chest. Without a word he made his way over, dropping down to sit to my left. I felt proud of that fact I didn’t shy away but I wished the courage to move over a bit closer to him would show itself.**

**At last, I said, “Please, d-don’t hate me. I-I know I r-really messed up.”**

**“Tonight’s evening meal was certainly _livelier_ than usual,” Daddy said. “I also do not hate you, Ael.”**

**Relief flooded over me, at least in the knowledge he didn’t loathe me. Still, worry consumed me, rocking my world like the swells of the sea would rock a dinghy during a storm. Reaching over, I silently asked to hold his hand; once I found it, I squeezed it tightly, desperate to find a sense of calm. After another few minutes of silence, I dared to scoot over, sidling up next to the only one in the world who could make everything better, wearily leaning against him, closing my eyes, heaving a sigh. I totally refused to let go of his hand, squeezing it again. It helped.**

**“What am I to do with you, my winged one?” The question was posed gently, in a way that said he didn’t really expect an answer, which was fine since I didn’t have much of an answer to give.**

**“I-I don’t know,” I stammered, voice strained.**

**“Though I heard some of what was said,” he began, giving me a somewhat disapproving look, “I would like to hear exactly what transpired during my absence from the table.”**

**“I’m…allowed t-to explain?” I definitely, still wasn’t used to being asked my side of the story. Very much aware I’d been involved, said some horrid things in the heat of the moment, cursed a blue streak as the saying goes, I still had a chance to explain what happened.**

**I started by going back a bit, bringing up my first encounter with Sela, back when I’d first come to the homeworld, back in the Imperial Hall or rather, outside of it. The hateful glare that woman had treated me to, the expression on her face admitting her desire to rip me limb-from-limb where I sat on that cold marble floor. When she arrived unannounced tonight, the look of pure contempt she gave more than enough to make me want to duck and cover, never come out again for fear of what she might do if given half a chance. Mealtime, well, he had been at the table for the first half, had heard her irritating mumblings along with everyone else, just as I am certain he’d seen those nasty stares aimed at me, heard the quiet scoffing into her glass of drink. Heck, he’d even told her to shut her mouth, not that she bothered obeying the request for long.**

**“When you left,” I continued, determined to get through one sentence without stammering myself silly, “she kept staring at me like she wanted to rip my head off, mumbling things at me over the rim of her glass. It felt like she was goading me, pushing to see if she could either scare me away from the table or make me snap back at her. Um, you saw which way I chose…” Another sigh fell away from my mouth, and if it were possible to hang my head any lower, I just might have done it.**

**“Unfortunately. However, in fairness, I should have expected it, not because you intentionally go out of your way to cause conflict, because you, my winged one, do not,” he said. “Sela, however, tends not to have a firm grasp on when to hold her tongue, saying what she thinks without regards for the consequences that may stem from words or action.”**

**“Are you disappointed in me?” I blurted quickly. This time, I did lift my gaze.**

**“In you, Ael, no. In your behavior, however… While surprised by the outburst, I am not entirely certain I can blame you for it, though I definitely did _not_ approve of the vulgarity.”**

**I cringed slightly at the firm edges surrounding his tone not that I blamed him any. “It’s not an excuse, I-I know,” I said, back to stammering over nearly every word, “b-but swearing, insults; it’s the only way I-I’m used to interacting with s-someone like Sela.”**

**Continuing on, I told him all about home life with my brother who was absolutely never shy about cursing me until my ears burned hot, insulting me until I burst into tears and fled the room, or even hurling random objects within reach at me, at least until I learned how to pitch them right back, cursing and insulting back as good as I got. In this instance, I’d tried to stand up for myself, going about it the entirely wrong way, ending up getting myself in a bit of trouble.**

**“I’m such a-an idiot,” I finished softly. Daddy squeezed my hand reassuringly.**

**“While the situation was not handled as appropriately as it should have been, you, Ael, are no idiot. You are used to a lifetime of mistreatment, of abuses; due to those past experiences and traumas, your mind perceives conflict and their resolutions, a certain way. Your past home, unfortunately, taught you that shouting curses and insults to be appropriate methods when dealing with conflict. That is not your fault, though I do think a part of you does know better.”**

**A single brow quirked upwards in question. I nodded, then shrugged. My mind boggled when he, then, told me that he thought no less of me for the incident, that it had been a mistake on my part, an error in judgment. I was going to have to learn better ways of dealing with conflict especially if Sela stayed at the home for any real length of time. He also admitted to a partial fault, causing me to gaze up at him in total surprise. Mimicking what T’Rul had said to me earlier, Daddy told me he should have made Sela leave the room when it became clear her mumbled comments, along with the nasty glances, just were not going to stop.**

**“Honestly, I wanted to stand up to her, to prove that I’m not the scared little human she thinks me to be. I-I wanted to show her that I’m not weak.”**

**“Understandable. Unfortunately, Ael, it is doubtful that Sela will ever change her behaviors. However, you will prove her wrong, one day, with time.” Releasing my hand, Daddy gently cupped my chin. “I already know just how strong you are.”**

**Wrapping my arms around him, I held tight. It felt good to be lovingly encased in the arms of someone who gave a damn, believed in me, wanted me to overcome past obstacles, become better, mature into greatness. Pulling out of the embrace, I dared to ask the question that wouldn’t stop circling round and round in my head: “What are my consequences for what happened at the table?” Granted, I asked the question with a good deal of stammering, all the while holding back a torrent of tears, but at least I got the words out.**

**We elapsed into another few minutes of silence. There had likely been only one or two consequences in mind before he’d set foot into my room, and now, just maybe, he was trying to decide if any made sense. I cuddled up while waiting for him to speak.**

**“I trust you,” I said clearly, out of the blue. “Do whatever you think is best. I trust you.”**

**He gave me a little squeeze. “while I am pleased to hear that, Ael, I still must tread carefully in this instance. I wish to do nothing that could possibly invite further trauma from past experiences.”**

**“What would you normally have done?” Leave it to me to ask!**

**Care was taken before responding. For a minute, I didn’t think he would. “Had you not been cursed by a lifetime of trauma; this incident might have seen you with a warmed backside. In this instance, however, it is likely not the best course of action to take.”**

**Though he had a point, I almost asked if he would just do it. He was calm, patient; there had been no angry yelling, no insults or curses. He’d sat with me, talked the situation through, left me feeling secure, unafraid. Past traumas aside, I didn’t want special treatment, though knew I probably might need it for a little while. It bothered me a bit. Restriction came up next, another thing T’Rul had mentioned while back at the table. I’d be stuck in the house for a minimum of one week, given studies to tend to not that I currently had any, which would make up the majority of my daytime hours. It sounded worse than the first option, really. I wanted to get out and explore this new world, not be barricaded in my room like I’d first come, given a PADD a day to look at and pore over, alone and miserable.**

**I made my feelings about the second option pretty clear, with my expression more than any words I could say.**

**“I-I know nothing’s been decided yet, but I wanted to say th-thank you,” I said sincerely. “You gave me a chance to explain things, and you weren’t rough with me, didn’t yell at or degrade me; you were probably more patient than I deserved. And you, um, didn’t get upset when all I could do was stutter and stammer, barely about to get what felt like more than five words out of my mouth at any given time.” The final admission about made me cry. I confided I’d been punished in the past for my stuttering, many times, in fact, slapped in the face, humiliated, mocked and bullied; sometimes, I wonder how I didn’t end up a mute.**

**Another hug, an apology for all I’d gone through my first fifteen years of life. Again, I said that I trusted him, would willingly accept any consequence without complaint. I just wanted everything back to normal. Well, as normal as possible with Sela still running around the house someplace.**

**“Do you feel our discussion has been sufficient?” Daddy asked me seriously, a moment later.**

**I started to nod, then paused. “I want to say yes, but for some reason, I still feel like I deserve to be punished for how I behaved. It almost feels like I’ve gotten away with something I shouldn’t have.”**

**“Sela _did_ provoke you,” he reminded. “And so, you responded in the ways you knew. You must re-train your mind on how to better deal with conflict, there are ways that do not involve the casting of insults, and if you feel turning your back and walking away is the best course of action, do so. You are not weak for maintaining your honor or for allowing an enemy to maintain theirs.”**

**“And you’ll help me get it all figured out?” My eyes beseeched him. He gave me a fond smile, placed a gentle hand atop my head. “**

**“I will indeed, my winged one.”**

**“Am I forgiven? I-I really am sorry.”**

**“Before you asked it,” Daddy assured me. “Next time, Ael, I think you will make a wiser decision.”**

**Next time too there would definitely be consequences. After I promised I would try my best,  I allowed my body to sag against him in relief, hopeful that, with time, I could not only get the hang of dealing with conflict but, also, get a handle on my fears, kicking trauma to the curb once and for all.**

 

…

T’Rul sat in the dining room at a table yet to be cleared from a half-finished meal, hands wrapped around a teacup brimming with warmth and filled with dark amber liquid that smelled of autumn spices, staring blankly at the far wall, lost in thought. Nearly twenty minutes ago, once leaving Ael in the capable hands of her father, T’Rul had planned to storm down the hall, straight back to the dining room, prepared to give Sela the worst verbal lashing the woman had ever been privy to her in her lifetime. The top of the hall had barely been reached before an encounter happened.

“Are you seriously standing there in hopes of overhearing their discussion?” T’Rul demanded. “First, let me assure you there will be no yelling, which leaves little to overhear. Second, my father is _definitely_ not about to raise a hand to her. So, if you’re hoping to hear anything even remotely reminiscent of a beating, let me assure you that it’s not going to happen. To think he would ever beat a child is appalling in its own right.”

Rolling her eyes, Sela turned to stalk away, T’Rul calling after her to no avail. Knowing the woman would most likely return to have a fit in regards to Ael’s consequences, likely deeming whatever they were to be far too soft, T’Rul took herself back to the kitchen to make a fresh cup of tea, returning to the dining room to sit and sip in silence.

Twenty-three minutes later Sela returned to the scene, annoyed to see T’Rul seated at the table, Movar nowhere in sight.

“My father is still with Ael,” T’Rul said far calmer than she felt, forcing her grip on the teacup to loosen lest she crack it with a frustrated squeeze. “if you’re here to complain about the fact he didn’t dole out a beating, I advise you to keep such nasty thoughts to yourself, before you’re the one who ends up nursing a wound you can’t recover from.”

The threat, likely a non-idle one, caused Sela to flush in anger. “He is such a fool,” snarled Sela. “To think of trusting that human _thing_ , of forming some sort of bond with it; his advanced years have obviously damaged his neural synapses. Making that child a part of this family is going to accomplish what exactly?”

“How dare you speak ill of my father,” T’Rul said, rising from her chair, resisting the urge to hurl the cup of tea at Sela’s suddenly offensive face. “After everything, he has ever done for you; you have the gall to dishonor him, beneath his own roof no less. And how you have treated Ael since you’ve stepped foot into this house; the first time you dared dishonor her, I should have taken my Honor Blade to your throat. Mnhei’sahe, upholding it; such things just don’t come naturally to you, do they? The world doesn’t owe you nearly as much as you like to think it does.”

Before Sela could retaliate, T’Rul said, clearly, “No, I do not want to hear it. Until you set foot back in this home we were well and content. Ael was beginning to find her footing, feeling as though she belonged, which she does. If not for you, this family would have had a lovely evening together, mealtime without dramatic interruption. It’s very clear to me that you were goading Ael, pushing for a confrontation. Father should have made you leave the table; he should toss your sorry hide back through the front door.” And then T’Rul quirked a brow questioningly. “If that happened, Sela, where would you go? I know about the banishment from the other estate. Being here is not merely a last resort, but a final chance to keep your place within the family before you end up as you claim Ael already to be: absolutely nothing, unwanted. Keep messing with this family Sela; keep messing with Ael, my little sister, and you’ll be cast out of this family for good.”

The hatred in T’Rul’s eyes turned their brilliant azure color a much darker shade, Sela, however, would not be silenced.

“Cast out, exiled over that child?” Sela laughed, then she rolled her eyes and made a disdainful noise. “I wouldn’t place any wagers on that, T’Rul.”

“How naïve you are,” said T’Rul with a shake of her head. “Are you really assuming that…?” T’Rul paused, choosing her words carefully. “Such a thing no longer guarantees your safety, nor place in the home or family. Not only that, my father and Ael have bonded, to the point he’s made mention, to me, of formally adopting her, which would formally mark her as High Born, a member of a Noble family. You do not get a say on whether or not that happens. My father will surely tell you the same.”

Instead of spitting out an immediate, “I doubt that”, Sela demanded, “Why is she worth it to either of you, T’Rul? What, of any importance, could that scrawny little thing possibly bring to this family, achieve for this world?”

“What the rest of this world thinks; they, and their opinions can go straight to _Areinnye_ for all the damns I give,” said T’Rul, equally as defensive. “Unlike you, once Ael matures she will no doubt bring honor to this world, instead of repeatedly failing assignment after assignment, facing the sting of possible demotion every time she returns home from a tour. When given the honor of commanding a vessel, it won’t be a ship on its last legs, something that should have been put out of its misery long ago. Her crew will have the finest soldiers in service to the Eagle rather than made up of misfits and miscreants no one else in the fleet wants to command. You, woman, are _nothing_ to this Empire, your sorry excuse for a career held barely aloft, only because of who your father happens to be.” And then her voice dropped an octave. “That tether, from his waist belt to yours ought to be severed; he should allow you to fall, to fail.”

Throughout T’Rul’s speech, Sela’s face progressed from an angry flush to exceptionally dark, like a storm about to erupt with great force. Continually hearing about her failures and mistakes from seemingly everyone on the surface of the homeworld was far-past tiresome. And now to think Ael, that little human nothing in both her and most of the homeworld’s eyes, was not only about to become adopted into a High Born family, already slated to accomplish more than she ever could, on her own and without a father’s continual aid to keep career secure; it didn’t sit well.

“We will see what her future holds,” promised Sela with a growl. “If it were up to me...”

“Thank the Elements nothing of actual importance is left up to you.”

“If it were up to me, I would have taken that little brat out back and shot her!” Sela nearly yelled. “You’re both _delusional_.”

“If anyone on this world ought to be shot, it’s you. Filthy half-breed.” T’Rul pulled a face of disgust, wishing she had her Honor Blade on her hip.

A few minutes later when Movar appeared on the scene, the confrontation between Sela and T’Rul had escalated. From the commotion he (and Ael) had heard snippets of from within her room, it sounded like the Earth-Romulan wars were happening all over again.

“I _dare_ you to say one more dishonorable thing concerning anyone beneath this roof!” T’Rul threatened.

“Or you’ll do _what_?”

“Come to my room, allow me to retrieve my Honor Blade in your _all-mighty presence_ so you may find out.” T’Rul looked away from the irate hybrid, noticing her father who stared between both of the ones engaged in a heated argument, silently demanding an explanation to the latest reason for shouting.

Without hesitation or waiting for her father to ask, T’Rul explained what had happened, telling of all that had been said and shared, verbatim. Movar was none too pleased.

“If you are only ever to remember but one thing, Sela, then let it be this: This is my home, it is not yours nor will it ever be. Not only am I the head of this family, I am also the head of this home. After this evening’s little incident, you will be fortunate if I allow you to sleep here for the night, and I say that knowing there is nowhere else for you to go, save for an inn in the city, and that is assuming they will bother with an outcast.”

“You cannot be serious!” Sela yelped, slamming her hand down so ferociously upon the table a cup toppled over, spilling a marginal amount of pale blue liquid across the table. “Over that human? _Seriously_?”

“Though that would indeed be a valid reason, Ael is not the catalyst. As I told you earlier this afternoon, when you came to my office, begging to be allowed back here, the other home casting you out; this was to be your final chance. Dare I say it is not going well. I made it clear your return to this home would be under strict probation yet from the moment your boots touched the hardwood, you were pushing for some sort of confrontation. I did not have to allow you back into this home, Sela, and after the events this evening I now see how unwise a decision it was. I will not have you upsetting this home and its inhabitants.”

“Don’t forget,” said T’Rul, casting an irritated glance at Sela, “that someone in this room called you a fool, as well as delusional, and then implied Ael ought to be taken out back and shot like an old _fvai_ that has long outlived its usefulness.”

“Indeed,” said Movar dryly. “I will not tolerate insults to personal honor as it stands, much less beneath my own roof, nor will I tolerate what could be construed as threats towards any child under my care. You, Sela, should know that better than most.”

Ignoring the latter, Sela (again) pointed out the obvious, that Ael was human, asking what good could ever come of her remaining in the home. T’Rul rolled her eyes and said, “I’m certain countless others, all within the family, I might add, said the same about you. Many likely still question it.” Sela glowered at T’Rul. “Pure-bloods tend to despise hybrids with more ferocity than they do outsiders.”

“Sela,” said Movar, suddenly sounding exasperated, “You have always been keen to say that, despite your biology, nothing within you remains human. You claim your heart, mind, that your very spirit is more Romulan than most would dare give you credit. Even your appearance says “human by design”, the blood in your veins running scarlet rather than jade. Still, you claim to be as Romulan as any other of this world.”

Sela quickly understood what Movar meant, bristling at the thought of not only being compared to the human girl but of also being reminded of just how Romulan she truly was not.

“The situation concerning that child is very different,” Sela insisted.

Stepping back, folding his arms, Movar said, “Enlighten me,” to which Sela had nothing to say.

Left eye twitching in agitation, allowing an irritated sigh to whoosh past her lips, Sela said, seething, “At least I was _born_ on this world, born of a Romulan. Just keep that little nothing out of my way.”

Movar had been about to demand Sela take her leave when T’Rul rounded on her, jabbing a finger directly into Sela’s chest. “Get this into your head, you nasty bitch of a woman,” she said, ignoring her father’s expression in regards to her tongue, “this is _not_ your home. Ael lives here, _you_ do not. You are here on probation, Ael is not. If you ever, and I mean _ever_ threaten her, hurt her; if you _dare_ make a single crude comment behind her back where I can hear, I swear to the Elements I will come to you with Honor Blade in hand. Now, kindly go to hell. Oh, and as Ael stated so eloquently earlier, go fuck yourself since it is unlikely any sane Romulan man would ever have you, whatever it is that you even are.” Before her father could speak, T’Rul turned away and said, “I know, Father. I’m to go to my room.”

“Yes, I heard her,” said Movar when Sela sputtered in rage. “I barely blame her; how I will deal with her, as with Ael is not your business or concern. The only person you need to be concerned about is yourself. Go back to my office, wait for me there. After I speak to T’Rul and check on Ael to make sure she has not overheard this latest bit of nonsense, I will be speaking with you at length regarding why you think you should be allowed to remain under this roof. Do not be surprised in the slightest if I do not allow it. Now, go,” said Movar shortly, dismissing Sela with a wave of his hand.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 

**Another ten-day passed by in what felt like a blink, a certain hybrid commander still around, remaining mostly unseen, barely holding on to her place within the family by a thread. I could see it in her eyes, on her face the rare times I crossed her path. Since the incident that saw us both yelling at one another across the dining room table, Sela’s appearances at home had been scarce. While I have no idea what Daddy might have said to her, in the privacy of his office that one evening, it certainly seemed to make Sela think twice of even looking at me again. Fine by me. I certainly didn’t need the stress.**

**T’Rul, apparently for a few choice comments she made to Sela, ended up with a few days of restriction though she didn’t seem to care one way or the other. “I have been meaning to catch up on some studies anyway,” T’Rul had said with a little shrug when she’d told me. As for me, other than the talk I had with Daddy while sitting on the floor of my bedroom, nothing happened. I resolved to stay out of Sela’s way, ignore her at all costs; I didn’t want to put him in such a precarious position ever again, about deciding how best to punish me without inviting further trauma from past miseries at the hands of a parent.**

**During the days when T’Rul focused purely on studies and not much else, I studied beside her, working on my language skills. I personally felt they weren’t evolving quickly enough. Still, progress of any sort felt good. We spent most of our study times out in the garden; I either sat on that moss-covered rock or over by the pond, watching the lilies float along the times I needed to take a break from repeating the same words and phrases aloud over and over again.**

**Those few days of sun and good weather gave way to wet and blustery for a handful of days after. Nothing in the way of thunderstorms mind you, mostly just rain, and a breeze so fierce it might have blown me away had I dared to go outside.**

**Today, at least, dawned bright and clear. After several days indoors, I was keen to get out and about. T’Rul had the same idea, saying to me at breakfast, “So, I was thinking about going out for the day, perhaps walking up to Leinarrah.”**

**“I’d love to,” I said excitedly, draining the last of the lavender juice in my glass. Other than meandering about the house, or taking the occasional, short walk around outside within the safety of the home’s boundaries, I hadn’t exactly been anywhere exciting. Turning my attention to Daddy who sat sipping his coffee, I asked if he might join us for the day.**

**“As much as I would like to accompany you, I am needed in the city later this afternoon. I should be home by the time you and T’Rul return, however.”**

**A bit crestfallen, I nodded in understanding. I quickly perked up when he said he would come with us the next time, perhaps later in the week. Once breakfast finished, I settled down in the sitting room for a brief language lesson before T’Rul and I headed out on our excursion. I think my language skills, what I had of them, were beginning to show some improvement.**

**I spent a little too long in my room, scrutinizing my reflection in the full-length mirror. I couldn’t make myself satisfied with my hair. If I tied it back in the way I preferred, my ears would be visible, showing every passerby on the street and in the city that I was not of this world. I fluffed my fringe with my fingers, frowning when it didn’t hide the entirety of my ridge-less forehead. At least today didn’t seem to be breezy out.**

**“Hmm, maybe this isn’t the best idea in the world,” I said to T’Rul when she poked her head in. “While I’m sure most of the general populace has heard of me by now; knowing about me is a little different to seeing me, a non-pure-blood, running around the streets.”**

**“You have the right idea in keeping your hair down and over your ears,” she said. “As for your lack of forehead ridges, there are quite a few pure-bloods who do not have them. It’s also fortunate that your translator doubles as a bracelet.”**

**“I suppose.” I went back to fussing with my hair. “What about my skin tone? I’m not as olive-y as anyone else, and my eye and hair color…” Leave it to me to worry about everything.**

**“If anyone asks, you’re from Dartha,” she said. “That will easily explain your fair complexion. Now, while most of the world’s populace tend to have dark colored hair and eyes, there are the rare exceptions.” T’Rul smirked at me in the mirror, gesturing to her own azure colored irises, and then she gestured down her left hip, my gaze landing on the beautifully tooled sheath, Honor Blade resting within. Most people weren’t foolhardy enough to bother anyone with an Honor Blade resting at his or her hip, much less give anyone grief who had their family crest on display, in this case on T’Rul’s waist sash, especially if that crest denoted the markings of a High Born.**

**A few minutes later and I had a matching sash around my waist. It was cobalt black, a mogai bird, wings outreached, encircled by symbols I couldn’t quite read emblazoned on the fabric in a shiny silver thread.**

**I took one last look in the mirror to adjust the sash a wee bit more, then grabbed my satchel off the bed and slung the strap across my chest. I found T’Rul in the kitchen, talking to Daddy who was busily prepping the coming evening’s meal, layering meat, vegetables, and herbs into what I could only assume to be a slow cooker. I think I got a bit too excited when I learned the contents to be osilh stew or rather, would become so after around six hours.**

**After a hug, and the well-wishes of a good day to come, T’Rul and I set off to Leinarrah. The feeling of warmth on my skin from the sun prompted me to tip my head back and close my eyes. I re-opened them in a hurry when I stumbled over a rock on the path, a breeze coming along to blow my hair away from hiding my ears, also succeeding in blowing a chunk of said hair into my mouth. Making a face, I attempted to rearrange my hair back to the way I’d had it.**

**“Do you think it would be possible to get some points on my ears?” I asked once my hair had been successfully rearranged. “That way, I wouldn’t have to be worried about some wayward breeze coming along at just the wrong moment.”**

**T’Rul thought for a moment, then said, “That is something you will need to discuss with Father, though it certainly is in the realm of possibility.”**

**“I’ll find the right time to ask him about it,” I mused, a flash of red pulling my attention away towards a nearby tree.**

**A massive, cockroach-like insect lazed about on a nearby tree. The creature in question, placid as anything, turned out to be something called a nhaidh. A lustrous black body with golden trim, long fringed antennae that swayed lazily in the breeze. The nhaidh ruffled its iridescent wings; for a moment, I caught the barest hint of malachite green flecked with lime. T’Rul watched, amused as I inspected the insect closer, reaching out to prod it gently. The creature trilled softly. It felt smooth, velvety. Eventually, I left the nhaidh alone on its chosen tree, and T’Rul and I continued on to Leinarrah.**

**Other than hearing some songbirds, we didn’t encounter any further creatures on our walk. I didn’t mind it, preferring to chat to T’Rul, all the while enjoying the feeling of the warmth of the sun on my skin.**

**We didn’t start coming across other people until we were nearing our destination, a little over a half hour later. “Most people likely came by flitter or ground car,” T’Rul said. “Or they live within this province and didn’t need to walk quite as far as we did.”**

**While I felt mildly anxious at the thought of being around so many strangers, T’Rul quickly did her best to restore a sense of calm. Still, years of trauma forced a bit of cautiousness on my part. On Romulus, cautiousness was generally a wise trait to have. I surveyed my surroundings, holding my breath, looking from person to person, analyzing stances, what expressions I could see, and overall mood. Most people were going about their business, walking down the road, milling about in shops, eating in cafes or from street vendors. Only one or two people seemed to be staring, holding their gazes on me longer than I felt comfortable.**

**I made a little “hmm” sound, wondering what they might be staring at, attempting to decide if they had motives for potential harm or if they were merely curious about a girl they had never seen before, one who wore a sash emblazoned with high status within the Empire, someone to leave rightly alone unless invited over.**

**“It’s likely the latter,” T’Rul said when I confided my worry. “They are curious. Unless someone is giving you a particularly nasty stare, I wouldn’t worry.”**

**Something out of the corner of my eye prompted me to turn my head a smidgen to the right. I nudged T’Rul again. “Should I be nervous about them?” I didn’t know the best way to call attention to the two Romulan soldiers standing fifty feet or so away, heads bent low, quietly discussing, every now and then glancing up, looking at what I thought might be at me. I found it unsettling. Maybe I was becoming as paranoid as the average Romulan citizen.**

**T’Rul seemed to know exactly to what I was referring without even having to look over. “I wouldn’t worry,” she said reassuringly. “Even if they are discussing you, they have no reason to take you into custody. They may also be among the curious onlookers, even if their expressions project otherwise.”**

**Personally, I thought they looked ready to arrest the first person who looked at them funny. People had been arrested for less. “I hope so,” I said instead. “Besides, I doubt Daddy would be pleased about two random soldiers dragging me away someplace.”**

**Now, T’Rul eyed me curiously, lips pulling up in a half-smirk, half-smile. “No, he definitely wouldn’t,” Arms folded loosely, she continued to stare.**

**“What?” Maybe if I played dumb…**

**“I heard that you know,” she said.**

**Flushing, I nodded. “It keeps slipping,” I admitted. “I’ve already said it to him a couple of times now. I don’t think he minded too much. At least, he hasn’t told me to stop.”**

**“Father doesn’t mind because he’s bonded with you,” she said honestly. My eyes went wide as saucers when she added, “admittedly, the evening I think everyone under the roof had yelled at Sela; I told her she had best leave you be because I do not take kindly to anyone threatening my sister.”**

**Eyes misting, I leaped forward and hugged her tight. “So, where to first?” I asked brightly after pulling away from the hug.**

**“Wherever you like. However, if you’d like a recommendation, I think you might enjoy that shop across the way.”**

**Happily, curious, making sure to stick close to T’Rul’s side in case a few of the prolonged stares really were of the nasty sort, I headed towards the recommended shop. Opening the slightly worn door yielded a lovely, serene melody played on a flute, the sound enticing entry. After being in the bright sunshine for the last while, the dimmer light caused a series of spots to swim before my eyes. I quickly blinked them away, turning my head this way and that, on the lookout for the source of the beautiful music forcing my hips to sway.**

**After another moment of searching my gaze landed on an older woman of around one hundred and eighty who sat lightly on a rustic wooden stool near the main counter, a flute-like instrument suspended in the air near her mouth by the lightest touch of her hands. I almost sat on the floor, like a child waiting, wanting to hear more of an enchanting story. Half a minute later and the song came to an end, the flute coming to rest across the old woman’s lap.**

**She caught our eyes and nodded her head with a smile, and then asked, in a more feminine voice than I had expected, “Jolan’tru, my dears. Is there anything I may assist you with this day?”**

**There were so many questions I personally felt like asking, like what instrument was she playing, what song was that, could I try even though I probably couldn’t hold the thing properly? I suppose I still felt too wary around strangers to speak, T’Rul thanking the woman for the kind offer of assistance, saying we would prefer to mill about the shop on our own for a bit.**

**With another nod, the woman raised the flute to her lips and began to play again, a song just as soulful and serene as the last. Finally, as we began to look around, I asked T’Rul if the instrument currently in use had a name.**

**“It’s called a rishudh. Father has one.”**

**“Yeah?”**

**A nod. “It has been a while since he’s had the time to play, however.”**

**“Do you play?”**

**“I’ve dabbled,” she said. “I much prefer to vocalize.”**

**Halting in front of a little display of the flutes, I stared longingly at them, swaying casually to the melody still swirling around the shop. All at once I wanted to learn to play too. Since many Romulans were passionate about the arts, particularly music, perhaps learning to play an instrument would help me on my journey to fit in with the world. Now, which one to choose. Or perhaps something with strings.**

**“I know that expression,” said T’Rul as I stared at the flutes. “You want one, don’t you?”**

**“Kind of,” I admitted, staring between the instruments on display, some of them the size of the average Terran flute, some longer and thinner, some short and squat, even one with pearlescent keys. “I’ve never really played anything before. I’d probably just make the poor thing squawk.”**

**That earned me a bit of a good-natured laugh. A new melody began as we stepped away from the flutes and towards a little display of hand-held harps of different shape and design, the chosen rhythm more of a toe-tapper than the last two had been. I confided to T’Rul the music made me feel like breaking out into a spontaneous bout of dancing. Resisting the urge to twirl around the shop, I halted by a series of harps that had obviously been lovingly, painstakingly handcrafted by the finest woodworkers on the planet. The strings appeared to be like fine silk thread, so delicate-looking one might assume they would snap under the barest hint of pressure.**

**Other stringed instruments caught my gaze, including a few lyres, a handful of lutes, and several items that l could only assume were the Romulan equivalent of the violin, the latter being the one to catch and hold my curious stare the longest.**

**“How much do you think it is?” I asked T’Rul quietly.**

**Tipping her head, she scrutinized the thing carefully. “Going by pure assumption, I would wager it’s at least five hundred talons,” she said. I had no idea if that price meant only a little expensive or insanely so. For a moment, her fingers drummed on a little pouch on her hip, her forehead scrunched in careful thought. Besides some currency for purchasing little things, possibly a treat from a vendor, T’Rul had access to a card that would entitle her to purchase things of higher value from shops, without the need to dump a wad of currency on the counter up front. It would simply be charged to the estate and that would be that.**

**Before I could open my mouth to tell T’Rul that she didn’t need to buy me anything, she’d done just that: Bought the lovely violin-like instrument I’d been so drawn to. I watched through bleary vision while the old woman carefully packed the instrument into a hard case with a soft interior of emerald green, took payment from T’Rul in the form of the estate card she carried, and then presented me with the item. At least this time the tears I shed was not from fear or sadness. This was the first gift I think I’d ever received in my life. It made me feel so damn good I thought I might burst. I don’t think I stopped hugging T’Rul, my sister, for a good five minutes.**

**The store of song left behind, we headed to the next shop, one which sold loose-leaf teas and an abundance of dried herbs. A definite favorite shop of T’Rul’s, we stayed inside for almost a half hour, about as long as we had in the previous. She made me sample so many of her favorite tea blends I felt a little bloated once we left, a bag of purchases at her side.**

**“Oh, what’s that?” Without warning I began to sniff the air appreciatively, closing my eyes, smiling happily. I could smell something akin to roasted vegetables, melty cheese, some kind of meat cooking away. Even the scent of coffee lingered in the air.**

**“That would be the café,” said T’Rul with a nod of her head to a little establishment across the way. “When it comes time, if you like, perhaps we can have midday meal there.”**

**“Is it midday yet?” I asked jokingly. “The smells are making me hungry.”**

**“Hmm, wait here a minute.”**

**Turning, T’Rul hurried towards a vendor a short distance away, leaving me more exposed than I liked. Thankfully, she returned in under a minute, passing over an item that reminded me of a unicorn’s horn, tall and spiraled, smelling of sweet spices and sugar. The treat in question wrapped around what T’Rul said to be an edible stick made from spiced sugarcane, prompting an immediate taste. Sweet but not disgustingly so, tasting a bit like sweet cinnamon, nutmeg, a hint of something vanilla-y with a nutty finish.**

**“It’s called a sesketh,” she told me.**

**“I’ve found a new addiction,” I declared, alternating between sucking on my treat and gnawing at it.**

**“You look like a wild animal, Ael,” T’Rul said with a chuckle in response to my sudden fevered gnawing. I resumed eating the sesketh with a grin, mostly like a normal person this time instead of a child who had never seen such a treat before.**

**Resisting the urge to ask for a second sesketh after the first had mysteriously “vanished”, T’Rul took me into a clothing shop, one which sold fancier wears than most of the populace could want or afford. Even though the sun shone brightly outside, the inside of the clothing shop could almost put that shining yellow ball in the sky to shame. The overwhelming brightness also caused mild panic; it made me feel on the spot, extra vulnerable to prying eyes.**

**T’Rul noticed my plight, promising to stay stuck to my side like glue. I preferred to stay slightly behind her, most of my face hidden from anyone who looked right at us. Hopefully, I seemed more shy than suspicious.**

**One wall seemed to be devoted to tunics, mostly in darker colors, ranging from generic around the home wear for someone of High Born status, to exceptionally fancier ones that one might wear to a formal function. Fancy coats made from the finest thread, tailored to fit, double or single breasted; under and over vests, most in white, golden or pearlescent buttons. The fanciness of it all, the outright expense turned me off looking at the more feminine items, the dresses in particular. T’Rul had already purchased me a nice, likely very expensive instrument only an hour before. It somehow felt wrong to ask for anything else. She didn’t see it that way.**

**“That,” she said, gesturing to my violin case, “should be considered a gift.” She gave me a quick hug. “Clothes are a necessity, and you do need them.” True. I couldn’t borrow from her closet forever, or wear the only clothes I came to Romulus with, only a single outfit befitting someone living in a Noble Romulan home.**

**“Well, if you’re sure,” I said slowly, inching my way over to the dresses, finding many that didn’t really suit me, others that looked way too fancy for anything I’d ever need, and a few others that made me wrinkle my nose at the chosen color combinations. After ten minutes of rifling through dresses, I finally found “the one”, a black and dark green ensemble pulled down for closer inspection.**

**Running my fingers along the material yielded a soft, silky touch. The skirt of the dress long and flowing, a dark emerald shade, the bodice having the appearance of a vest, cobalt black, pearly buttons up the front. Short sleeves in the same green as the skirt; a burgundy sash to encircle one’s waist, a family crest or monogram easily affixed.**

**“Wow,” I breathed. “Is this too fancy though?”**

**“For one who has been adopted into the home of a High Born Romulan general, no. That would be considered something to lounge around the home in. You should try it on.”**

**“Do we need to ask permission?” In a way, I felt I needed to ask just to touch such a lovely dress. I think the crest on our respective sashes is what made the shopkeepers comfortable enough to let us mill about, examining merchandise as we wanted. They likely knew T’Rul, probably Daddy, and so they had no reason to think we would damage anything or try and steal. Personally, I’m glad we were being left alone.**

**“They are familiar with our family so we need not ask,” said T’Rul, leading me toward a changing room. “Trust me, it’s OK to try it on. I might also take the liberty of fetching you a few other things while you’re in there.”**

**Relenting, I stepped into the little room and pulled the tawny curtain closed. I took my time changing into the new dress, taking care not to wrinkle the fabric too much, flattening the material before I turned to face the full-length mirror. I breathed in deep; I couldn’t remember a time I’d looked so lovely. Sweeping my hair up with a hand, I imagined myself at a fancy function. Seeing my rounded ears in the mirror brought out a little grimace; I made yet another mental note to ask Daddy about getting my appearance altered.**

**After rearranging my hair to hide my ears, I peeked out through the curtain, jumping back when T’Rul appeared seemingly out of nowhere, pressing several new items of clothing into my hands. “Just a few items I think you might like. Remember: You need clothes,” she reminded before I could protest not that I had been going to. I took the clothes and placed them neatly on the bench seat inside the changing room, stepping out to show off the dress I’d found that seemed too perfect for someone like me. I had to hold it up off the floor; it was at least three inches too long for someone of my stature.**

**“It’s a bit long for me, but I do like it,” I said. T’Rul nodded in agreement.**

**“It suits you. The green on the sleeves and the skirt match well with your eye color.”**

**“You really think so? Well, thanks.” After recovering from the compliment, I gestured to the skirt of the dress I still clutched in my hands. “This might need to be taken up a bit. I’m going to trip over it if it stays this length. What about to here?” I lifted the skirt up to just above the calf.**

**T’Rul thought about it for a moment then shook her head. “Perhaps a touch lower. Father would call that a bit too short.” I lowered it to mid-calf. Another shake of T’Rul’s head. “A little more.”**

**Finally, we reached an agreement on length, an inch below mid-calf. After trying on the other clothing T’Rul had brought me, everything from day wear, to loungewear, to sleepwear, even a robe for after the shower, it was time to get the shopkeeper involved. I stood like an absolute statue as my measurements were taken, I even had to get back into the first dress so the seamstress would know where to make the adjustments, and by how much. To say I didn’t like the feel of a stranger so close is a massive understatement. Thankfully, she didn’t notice the lack of points on my ears, and if my ridge-less forehead bothered her, she didn’t say.**

**While the dress had to be left behind to be taken up and in (we could pick it up in a day or two), a decent selection of new clothing found their way into bags and into my hands.**

**Childlike delight came from our next stop. “A sweet shop!” I exclaimed excitedly, almost a little too loudly, clutching my purchases extra close instead of dropping them in my haste to get into what would soon become my most favorite place in town.**

**“I had a feeling this would be a favorite,” said T’Rul, holding the door open with one hand while I eagerly stepped through. Instantly, my gaze riveted to the large glass display case at the front of the shop, drifting around to take in the shelves stocked neatly with packaged sweet treats both in beautifully presented boxes, as well as decorative tins.**

**And then I felt a little sad, wishing Daddy had been able to join us. “I bet he loves this place,” I said in awe, sidestepping over to the nearest shelf for a look, picking up a golden colored box from the shelf, meticulously tied with wide scarlet ribbon.**

**“He does indeed,” confirmed T’Rul. “However, it is the confectioners in the heart of the capital city that is he often finds his way to. Once a month, he’ll go and get a box of chocolates for the home, to share. Imagine if you will a display case several times larger than that one there,” she said, inclining her head towards the front of the shop. “Filling it are some of the finest, most meticulously hand-crafted chocolates on all of Romulus. Everything from plain, to extra dark, exceptionally light; chocolates filled with nuts, fruit or both at once. Some even have sweet liqueurs, others a more savory taste.”**

**I’m not ashamed to say that as I stood there, mouth agape, I had to wipe a spot of drool away from the corner of my mouth. “OK, the next time he finds his way to that shop, I have to go with him.”**

**“I think you can convince him,” she said with a laugh. “Just as I’m certain you’ll convince him to buy double the amount he initially set out to buy in the first place. I doubted she was wrong about that!**

**The shopkeeper, an older gentleman with a kind eye, allowed me and T’Rul to mill about the shop, even offering up a sample or two when it became clear I simply couldn’t decide what to buy. It may not have been the “finest” chocolate in the world but it certainly could have fooled me. A beautifully tempered shell gave way to a smooth velvety center, the second offering gushing what reminded me of strawberries and cream.**

**T’Rul allowed me to pick a couple of pieces from the display case to take home, as well as a handful of stick candy – long, cylindrical treats striped in different colors, each one about six inches in length. As I was convincing myself to turn away from the shelves, something caught my eye when it hadn’t before, a series of little pocket-sized tins adorning one of the endcaps.**

**The tins were two-toned, black and green, red and gold, or burgundy and dark purple. Each one had a clasp at the front, allowing the tin to open and close, a thin barrier protecting the treats from discreet sampling yet allowing them to be seen. Little azure “pearls” greeted me when I opened one of the tins, the luminous coating on the outside making them almost luminous. I didn’t even bother to look at the other tins.**

**“T’Rul,” I called out. “How much is this?”**

**“What did you find now?” T’Rul asked playfully.**

**“Not really for me,” I started, suddenly feeling a little shy. “I wanted to get them for Daddy.”**

**“I think we can arrange that,” she said with a nod. Gratefully, I handed her the tin to take to the front. “These are one of his favorites,” she assured me when I wondered aloud if he would like what I’d chosen.**

**With a piece of stick candy, striped purple, green and white poking out of my mouth, I decided some window shopping to be in order. I think we’d bought enough for a while anyway. I spent a few minutes gazing into the window of a jeweler’s shop, several stones in shades deeper blue than the deepest waters of the ocean forcing me to stop and stare. If not for T’Rul giving my arm a little tug, I might have stared into that window until closing time. A giggle bubbled up in my throat when we happened upon a shop selling frivolous knickknacks; I guess not even Romulans were exempt when it came to buying cute yet useless ornaments for one’s mantle place.**

**Next, a bookshop, where I picked up a book I couldn’t read, though liked the cover of enough to take home. Then a little jaunt to a shop that sold things like crystals and incense. At last, my stomach growled and I asked T’Rul of the time. An hour past midday already.**

**Soon seated outside in the café we’d passed earlier in the day, my back toward the wall mostly due to the still-remaining jitters of being out in the public eye, T’Rul and I sat back, relaxed, and ordered a late lunch. I even became daring enough to turn my translator off for a good ten minutes, listening to the voices around me, the different accents telling of whom hailed from where; I grinned to myself when I thought I could pick out a phrase or two from a pair of chatty citizens passing through on their way home for the day. Maybe the language lessons really were paying off. For nearly two hours we sat at the café and chatted like we’d known each other – been sisters for – forever. I went through three glasses of the sweetest ihor berry juice I’d ever tasted. To be honest, I missed the hint of tartness from the type I had with my breakfast every morning.**

**Fed, happily rested, somewhat loaded down from our time in Leinarrah, we set off home. Well, at least I thought that’s where we were off to. T’Rul had other plans. Out of town, we went, back towards home yet down a path that led us further away, down into a wooded area that quickly opened up into a flower-filled grove.  Sunlight shone brightly through the area, touching down upon the most beautiful flowers of scarlet, goldenrod and sunset orange, and then went away, covered by the sudden influx of clouds swollen with rain. The scent of a coming storm hit the air, bringing with it a breeze that blew my hair away from my ears, and also brought the strong scent of the flowers the sun had only so recently been shining down on.**

**“Passion flowers,” T’Rul said, leading me down a path and towards the unfurled blossoms. “I was hoping to find these today.”**

**“When do you think it’s going to rain?” I looked up at the sky, the clouds, while puffy and large, weren’t dark and ominous-looking enough to send me running for home, at least not yet.**

**T’Rul didn’t even need to glance up at the sky for more than a second before saying, “I’d say we have a few hours until the storm breaks.” When I asked how she could be sure, she smiled and said, “Generally, before a storm strikes, one will often be graced by the loud call of a storm bird.”**

**In my mind's eye, I pictured it: A large bird in many shades of storm cloud grey, massive wings outstretched and ringed with black, rising high into the heavens, screeching a warning to all who could hear that a storm was on the way, take cover. I hoped we would see one.**

**Thoughts shifting, eyes tore away from the overcast sky, I looked down at the lush grass, home to clusters of passion flowers, their petals open and unfurled, curled down at the edges, colored in a gradient from scarlet to orange to gold, stamens amber. A scent reminiscent of honey with a touch of lavender hung in the air, hitting me a bit powerfully when I bent and sniffed the flowers deep.**

**“Lovely, aren’t they?” Kneeling down, placing bags carefully nearby, T’Rul carefully plucked one of the flowers from its resting space, inhaling deeply. “They only bloom like this in the late spring months. It’s rare to find them at any other time in the seasons, at least growing wild. They make excellent tea.”**

**It didn’t take long to collect a good-sized bunch of the flowers, T’Rul showing me the proper way to pick them so they would return the following season. I couldn’t wait to taste the tea she would make from the flowers later in the evening. Lifting one of the flowers to my face I inhaled, closing my eyes, listening to the breeze sing through the trees, and then I sat back on my heels and watched the storm roll in.**

*********

“I could not believe that hnoiyika!”

Their time out at an end, mostly due to the low rumbles of thunder in the distance, Ael and T’Rul finally headed towards home. Ael, speaking around a yellow-stripped piece of stick candy protruding from her mouth, called up a memory from not long ago, when she’d spied a little lizard hiding amongst the flowers.

Startling at the sudden rustling, the green and gold lizard, large as Ael’s thumb, scurried away, the girl attempting to curiously follow. Beneath a bush, Ael thought she’d seen the creature go, and so she hunkered low and attempted to peer beneath the clump of foliage, getting the surprise of her life when a young hnoiyika, a weasel-like creature, bounded from between the leaves. Hackles high in fierceness, the creature danced and jittered, hissing menacingly. Ael jumped to her feet, T’Rul intervening, shooing the creature away.

“At least it wasn’t an adult,” said T’Rul. “They can stand over a meter tall on their back legs and are not shy in the slightest about attacking anything in their path perceived as a threat.”

It made Ael all the gladder she hadn’t come face-to-muzzle with an adult specimen. One look at the sky and the memory of the creature slipped away, Ael halting, staring with mouth agape. “Wow.”

An “angry” sky greeted her gaze; blackened clouds swirled with a deep orangey-red overtook the sky in all directions, a flash of lightning in the distance, silvery white, startling Ael who jumped. Heart beating quickly against the rumbles of thunder (she had never been a fan of loud noises), Ael shared that it might be a good idea to jog home rather than walk.

“I’m inclined to agree.”

The girls picked up their already quick pace, Ael breaking into a run, shopping clutched close when something cool and wet landed on her arm, and then her face when she dared glance up. A piercing cry split the air with the next crash of thunder, a large bird with feathers dark enough in color to rival the sky soaring into view. Ael resisted the urge to stop dead and stare, keeping the creature in sight during the mad dash for the cover of home. Home ahead, Ael allowed a little sigh of relief to whoosh out, a happy smile forming at the sight of Movar standing out on the covered verandah, waiting for their safe return.

“Daddy!” Ael cried in both relief and delight, bolting undercover before the clouds opened wide to drench her.

“I was beginning to worry about the two of you, whether or not you would make it home before the storm broke.”

“Just in time,” said T’Rul, the rain beginning to pour.

“It seems you have had a productive day,” said Movar in response to the many bags in the girls’ arms.

“Indeed,” answered T’Rul. “I took the liberty of convincing Ael she could do with some clothing. A gift or two may have found their way into the day’s purchases.”

“Can I show you later?” Ael asked excitedly, sidling close when thunder shook the walls, comforted by the gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Of course, you may, Ael. However, last meal will be ready soon.”

When the front door opened, revealing the savory, delectable scent of osilh stew, Ael’s stomach rumbled and she bounded inside, heading to her room where all the day’s purchases found their way on her bed. She took extra care to place the instrument case carefully on the floor.

After changing into the lounging robe she’d once borrowed from T’Rul, an item of clothing she now found both comforting and comfortable, washing her hands, tying back her hair into a loose ponytail, Ael looked through the items she’d – T’Rul – had purchased on their outing.

“I’ll have to put the clothes away later,” she decided, reaching into the bag from the sweet shop, extracting the tin of candies meant as a gift for Movar. “Maybe I’ll wait till after dinner to give these to him.” Ael slipped the little tin into her pocket so she wouldn’t forget.

In the kitchen she found T’Rul rinsing a portion of the fresh passion flowers for a pot of tea and offered to help. “Certainly.” A few of the vibrant flowers were pushed across the counter. “Give them a good rinse, making certain no little insects have decided to call them home.”

“Well, I don’t see any,” said Ael, peering close, directing a vibrantly-colored blossom under the gently running tap, rinsing away the residue of any creatures who might have once lived within the petals. Flowers rinsed, Ael prepared to place them in a waiting bowl, a sudden glint of playful mischievousness in her eyes. Stifling a giggle, Ael flicked the flowers forward, cold droplets of water hitting T’Rul in the face.

“Oh!” she gasped, mildly startled.

“See, I know you said to put them in the bowl and all, but I figured they didn’t need to be quite so wet so…” Ael found it impossible to hold in her giggles, squealing in playful protest when T’Rul repaid her in kind.

Movar’s voice floated back to the girls when he heard Ael’s squeal. “Is everything all right in there?”

“Yes, Father, everything is fine,” said T’Rul with a playful sigh, wiping the water from her face. “Ael is being a little brat is all.”

“I am not!” Ael found it impossible to stop laughing, seeking refuge behind her father when he appeared to see what had his youngest daughter in sudden hysterics.

“All right, young lady,” he began, tone light. “What have you done?”

“Apparently,” said T’Rul, now dry, “one dries passion flowers by wagging them at their sister, soaking them in the process.”

Ael had to admit it felt good to be playful, if not a little strange due to being sorely unused to the process. She hoped she was doing it right. “Oh, it was only a few sprinkles,” said Ael from behind her father. “And you got me back already.”

“I’m beginning to think I gave you too many sweets today,” said T’Rul when Ael found it impossible to control the sudden onset of the giggles. “We may have stumbled across not only the confectioners, but a sesketh vendor.”

“Oh, that thing that looked like a unicorn horn?” Ael asked, T’Rul tipping her head, confused at the reference.

“A - what now?” She asked.

“It was that long spiral-y thing,” said Ael, holding her hands apart by a good eight inches. “You could eat the stick and everything!” Suddenly, she felt very energetic, animated.

“Next time, perhaps one of the smaller ones,” said Movar, Ael wrapping her arms around him in a sudden hug, quivering with energy. “However, I would wager only a portion of Ael’s sudden excitement stems from an overabundance of sugar.”

“Agreed,” said T’Rul when she caught her father’s eyes. Before now, Ael had never had a family with whom she could be playful with, gently tease, have fun. Before now, she had never known what it felt like to be included, or even what it was like to be a child, have a sibling engage her in pleasant ways, a father who longed to hear about her day. Perhaps the playfulness had taken a bit out of her, too, Ael not yet understanding the full concept of play.

All in good time.

For now, however, it was time to make the tea. The process turned out to be simpler than Ael could have guessed; she watched while T’Rul filled a pot with cold water, placing the flowers in, and bringing the whole thing to a boil. Once bubbling, T’Rul turned off the flame, adding in a handful of what Ael swore smelled like fresh mint, then covered the pot and allowed it to sit for fifteen minutes. A generous amount of honey found its way to the pot along with a splash of tangy citrus, and then the tea was strained into a waiting teapot that would keep the brew piping hot all through dinner.

It turned out to be only three at the table that evening, Ael not bothering to ask why Sela hadn’t bothered to join them for last meal. Ael had a pretty good idea why the hybrid commander preferred to stay late at HQ.

 _She wants to keep her place in the home,_ Ael thought, taking her place at the table, to the right of her father. _So, if she has to be around me, someone whom she loathes, chances are good she’ll run her mouth when she shouldn’t and find herself tossed through the front gates._

The thought quickly fell by the wayside, Ael accepting a hot bowl of rich and hearty stew from her father, taking a piece of warm, homemade flatbread from the platter near her place setting. A little spoonful gave way to a larger one, Ael making an “mmm” noise once she’d swallowed.

“This is fantastic,” she said with a nod.

T’Rul nodded in agreement from across the way. “Father makes the best osilh on the planet’s surface, though some may accuse me of bias,” she stated fondly.

“I am inclined to believe the former,” said Movar taking a drink from his cup. “However, it is possible a bit of the latter may be present, though I will not admit to it.”

Ael laughed gently into the teacup she sipped from, appreciative of the continued lighthearted banter. “The tea is pretty good too. I like the color, how it almost matches the flowers,” said Ael, staring into the cup of fiery orange liquid that tasted only mildly sweet despite the amount of wild honey T’Rul had added after the steeping process.

“I’m glad you approve. This time of the year, it’s a staple.”

Over the course of the meal, Ael was only too happy to talk of her day. Movar listening attentively, T’Rul making comment only when Ael went quiet by way of a bite of her meal, about the only time there seemed to be time to get in a proper word edgewise.

Starting from the very beginning, Ael started with how she couldn’t find a proper way to wear her hair, certainly not how she liked, neglecting to mention she wanted points on her ears; now didn’t seem the right time to ask. She spoke of the way the warm sun felt on her skin, how nice it felt to be outside and exploring even though a part of her still felt nervous about running into too many people at once.

“And there was this huge insect lounging on a tree,” said Ael, T’Rul chiming in with the proper name for the creature when Ael couldn’t quite remember. “It seemed happy enough to sit there, attached to the tree while I stroked a finger down its back.”

“They are generally docile,” said T’Rul over the rim of her cup. “At least you didn’t try and bring it home to keep as a pet.”

“Mm, not a bug,” promised Ael. “Now, a cat…” Quickly, she glanced at Movar who understood what the look implied.

“We will see,” was all he said in response. Ael swore his tone of voice meant more along the lines of “quite possibly” instead of “not going to happen.”

Making a quick mental note to ask about a furry friend at some point in the near future, perhaps for her birthday next year, Ael continued on recounting her day, telling of the music shop where the music had captivated her so, the way her foot had tapped, the way her hips had swayed to the rhythm of their own accord.

“I may have purchased her a little something,” admitted T’Rul. “When she passed the stringed instruments, Ael’s eyes lit, gaze transfixed. It was one of those “the instrument chose the musician” moments.”

Ael liked the way T’Rul chose to describe the way she’d stared so longingly at the violin-like instrument in the shop, though doubted she would ever be any sort of musician. As long as she could learn to make the instrument sing instead of screech, Ael knew she’d be pleased enough.

“Oh, and I found the most perfect dress in the world,” Ael continued. “Black and green with pearlescent buttons. We had to leave it behind for a couple of days so they could tailor it to fit. I think you’d really like it. And that reminds me, um, how long should it be? I wanted it at the knee but -”

“Much too short,” said Movar instantly. T’Rul casting an “I told you” glance across the table.

“I asked them to put the length an inch or two below mid-calf,” said T’Rul. Ael breathed a sigh of relief when Movar approved the alterations. She wanted him to love the dress she’d chosen.

“Will you come with us to pick it up in a couple of days?”

“Providing I am not absent from the home, I will indeed accompany you.”

 _Wait, what?_ Ael almost blurted. _If you’re not absent? Are you going somewhere? Have you been called on for a tour of duty?_

Deciding it best not to assume things that hadn’t been said much less confirmed, Ael busied herself with finishing her meal, and her tea, finally allowing T’Rul to have a turn at telling Movar all about their day in town. When T’Rul got to the part about the grove filled with passion flowers, Ael sat up tall, eyes wide, saying when T’Rul had finished speaking, “Oh! I have to tell you about this little hnoiyika!” Dropping the last of her flatbread into her bowl of stew, Ael began to gesture with her hands, seemingly making a monstrous beast appear at the table. “You won’t believe what it did!”

 

 

*****

 

Sometime after the evening meal, the storm, which had quieted down to a dull roar during its course, returned to raging. Roaring thunder, wind bellowing through the trees out front, branches scratching viciously at the windowpanes; all were reason Ael chose to cling tightly to her father’s robe.

“Sorry,” said Ael quietly, attempting to bring her heart rate back to normal with a bit of slow breathing. “Loud noises unsettle me, especially storms. Always have.” She sighed. “I really am tired of being so afraid of everything,” she admitted.

“We all have our fears to overcome. One day, you will overcome yours.”

“I sure hope so. It seems like I’m the only one in the world who’s quite so jumpy.” Ael couldn’t imagine another Romulan having such debilitating fears, cringing away from the sounds of a raging storm, huddling under the quilt in the dead of night, unsettled by the darkness.

“Contrary to what many Romulans would believe, we are not exempt from fear, my winged one.” Ael couldn’t quite believe it.

“Even you?”

“Yes, Ael, even me,” said Movar, giving Ael a gentle squeeze. “There have been times in my life when I have had to work through one or two rather crippling fears.”

“You?” Ael repeated, suddenly dumbstruck. How could it have ever been possible, her father, a man whom she saw as fearless, invincible; a man who led others into battle, a general within the Empire’s ranks, commanding, intimidating, feared by many. How could he have ever been afraid of anything? It didn’t seem possible. “What of?” Ael asked when she finally found her voice.

“Small, confining spaces,” he answered.

“How did you get over it?”

“While the debilitating nature of that particular fear has lessened considerably over the years, it has never completely gone away. There are still instances, though rare when I must combine intent focus alongside my military training in order to maintain composure. However, there have been occasions in the past where such things seemed not to matter, including during a time at the Imperial War College, during my fifth year.”

Even though she sensed a story might be coming, Ael asked if he would tell her what happened, all those years past. Showing what she had acquired during the days outing were momentarily forgotten, same for the gift she’d so carefully selected, Ael listening with rapt attention while her father spoke of an incident still fresh in his memory even though it had happened well over a century prior.

Making it to year five at the Imperial War College was no small feat, a good handful of students sent home in disgrace by year four, a few never returning home to their families at all. Year five saw the cadets promoted to the rank of Junior Uhlan, the lowest rank within the Romulan military service, most heading away to postings aboard ships on more routine missions than most, others on more, possibly dangerous assignments. Movar had been assigned to a ship dealing with the latter over the former.

Halfway through that fifth and final year, disaster aboard ship had struck, an unplanned battle occurring that took a handful of lives, scarring others. Movar had almost been among the few who hadn’t returned home. Trapped on one of the upper decks with another cadet, a young woman named Telina who had become his lifeline over his years at the College had meant the difference between making it out alive or burning to death in a plasma fire.

The only course of escape to the safety of a lower deck came courtesy of the crawlways, long, narrow service tunnels usually reserved for internal maintenance. They also served as a means of moving about the ship in the event lifts were non-functional. At that moment, between life and death, staring into that crawlway so small no person should ever be able to squeeze into, Movar felt fear grip him tightly. Heart beating wildly in his side, breath coming in ragged gasps, more from the fear of being forced into such a small space over the green heat of the plasma fire bearing down on him and Telina, he froze solid.

It took a good deal of coaxing, of rather stern encouragement; it took Telina reminding Movar of the fact they were each other’s partner, lifeline, already promised Chosen Ones, to force him to gather his courage and cram his body into that narrow tube.

“I am _not_ leaving you behind,” she’d shouted at last. “We both go or we both stay. What is it to be?”

After what felt like an eternity of crawling through that little space, through the heat, the showering sparks from blown conduits; at last, they reached a junction on a lower deck unaffected by the flames. It had taken a good deal of courage not to weep like a child. Hours later, the threat gone, battle over, the deck plates beneath his feet no longer shaking under the bombardment of enemy fire, the ship undergoing emergency repairs, sister ships keeping watch under cloak at both port and starboard, Movar found himself in the infirmary. A brave countenance was the only thing that kept his commander from seeing the fear, the trauma that lay just beneath the surface.

Telina, however, saw it, saying nothing, staying by the side of the one whom she loved until the ship’s commander bade her return to duty. Had it not been for her, one day mother of T’Rul, Movar doubted he would have survived that incident at all.

Over time, with Telina’s help, further military training, and a good deal of self-determination, Movar found the majority of the fear, the trauma left behind in the past.

The story concluded, Ael found herself with little to say, leaning up to hug her father instead. It seemed the best thing to do since she couldn’t find the right words. “One of these days,” said Ael when she’d pulled back from the embrace, “I’ll find a way to leave my fears behind too.”

A booming roar of thunder chose that moment to shake the walls, Ael doing her best to stand her ground against the fear, partially succeeding. “Refocus your attention away from the storm,” Movar said. “While listening to my story, you did not notice the raging weather quite so closely.”

“Well, I still have some things to show you, from my day out with T’Rul.” That had to keep her mind off the storm for a while. And then she felt the tin in her pocket bounce against her hip. “Actually, wait, I have something better.” Taking a deep breath, hoping her father would like the gift she’d chosen, Ael reached into her pocket and presented Movar with the tin of candies. “I saw these and thought you might like them.”

Attempting to wait patiently, hands clasped in front of her, Ael watched as the gift was accepted, inspected, and then opened. “I do indeed,” came the response. “A very thoughtful gesture, my winged one, thank you.” Wrapped in a hug, Ael grinned from ear-to-ear. The next bang of thunder barely seemed to startle her. With a piece of the candy in her mouth, her father had insisted upon sharing, Ael took the liberty to show Movar the things she’d gotten while out in Leinarrah, ending with the instrument T’Rul had given as a gift.

“Surprised but grateful,” said Ael when she put the violin carefully back into its case. “I hope I can learn easily enough.”

“I can give you some instruction, alongside your language lessons of course.”

“You play? I thought you played the rishudh?”

“I do,” he confirmed, going on to say his mother held the passion for stringed instruments in the family, attempting to teach him to play when he was much younger. Though he could play well enough, the rishudh soon became the instrument of purposeful focus, his love for flute music evident in both practice and recital. Though there had been many times Movar had gone for years without playing, mostly thanks to an active role in the military, still his passion for it, for music, remained.

Ael suddenly longed to hear the sound of the instrument, the sound of her father playing a soft, soothing melody to further take her mind far from the raging storm. Quietly, Ael voiced the request.

“I believe that can be arranged,” he said. “I will return in a few minutes.” Once Movar had gone, Ael took the opportunity to get comfortable in bed, waiting patiently for him to return, happy to hear the storm slowly dying down. A hair under five minutes later and Movar returned, a beautifully polished rishudh in his hands, the instrument gleaming silver as if polished by moonlight.

Perching lightly on the edge of the bed, Movar prepared himself to play, Ael deciding that cuddling close to his side to be a far preferable thing to sitting up beneath the covers. When the music began, the first of the melody, soft and soothing, wrapping warmly around Ael like a down quilt on a cold winter’s night, she allowed her eyes to drift closed. At once, she transported away, back to the music shop where a similar piece had earlier reached her ears, soon in the grove filled with passion flowers, those golden red blooms bursting with fiery color beneath a sunny sky soon turned gray, swollen with storm. Now, she was home, beside her father, safe and warm, listening to him play a song that he’d likely taken to memory a century prior.

Ael soon found herself humming softly in accordance with the melody, listening to the raindrops on the roof suddenly in perfect harmony with the tune quietly luring her away to sleep long before she wanted to be.  A long note, soft and fading, held for a count of five, and then it was over.

“Play it again,” Ael whispered, eyes still shut, T’Rul quietly agreeing from her spot in the desk chair. Ael hadn’t even heard her come in. Without hesitation, the song began again, the tune somehow gentler, softer than before. Closing her eyes, breathing deep, Ael allowed the song to take her to slumber.

By the time the last of the melody had faded, Ael was snoring softly, lost to dreams of a grove filled with passion flowers. A gentle, rhythmic drumming of rain on the roof, a soft rumbling of thunder in the distance, the now-subdued cry of a storm bird telling the worst of the storm had gone; these were the last sounds to be heard as Ael was laid back in bed, tucked in warmly, and wished sweet dreams with a kiss on the forehead.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**_Dear Journal_ **

**_So, some things happened over the last several days. One of those things has me over the moon with unadulterated joy, the other has me wanting to crawl under the bed and hide forever. Let’s start with the good (great!) news: I’ve been formally adopted. Can you believe it? I think I hugged Daddy and bawled my eyes out for a half hour straight, thanking him again and again for all he’s done for me since I’ve come, for accepting me as I am: an imperfect, frightened, insecure messed up mess of a child who has never had anyone she can truly depend on, or whom she can call family._ **

**_I’m glad I do. My smiles are broader now; I no longer have to hold my tongue when the term ‘Daddy’ wants to slip out. Before, I barely knew what I should call him, but now I can proudly call him my father without having to think twice. It fills me with joy to the point of bursting._ **

**_There even came a morning I heard a little knock on my door before first sun. I thought I was dreaming. Who could possibly want something at such an early hour? A little mumble slipped out, “go away. It’s too early”, and then under the quilt, I disappeared. Someone gently shook that lump beneath the blanket a minute later, calling my name in a whisper as though not to startle me to the point I fell out of bed._ **

**_With an annoyed grunt, I slowly dragged myself out from beneath the warm covering, blinking rapidly to clear bleary vision, just able to pick out T’Rul’s face before my eyes closed again and I flopped back on my pillow._ **

**_“What?” I whined, pressing my hands to still tired eyes. “It’s barely fifth hour.”_ **

**_“It’s half past sixth,” she informed me with a smile. I was kind of annoyed at how awake she appeared, how alert and cheerful._ **

**_“I’m happy for you,” I grumbled, pulling the quilt back over my head. Through much groaning (mine!) T’Rul managed to coax me out from under the covers. Turns out, at least a few days every week, T’Rul and Daddy go on early morning runs, usually around sixth hour. Guess who gets to join in now that she’s officially a part of the family?_ **

**_Honestly, I didn’t mind it. I had been expecting some pell-mell run down the road, unable to stop until I found myself back through the home’s front doors soaked in sweat, puffing hard. What actually happened, probably because I’m still a bit new to the prospect of early morning anything, was me being eased into the whole affair and a lot of encouragement. We started out at a leisurely pace, which I didn’t mind since I might have been half asleep._ **

**_The pace increased after a few minutes or so, more of a fast walk than anything, though I really had to work to keep up. Daddy is over a foot and a half taller than me and has a much longer stride. Still, I did it. Fast walking turned into a slow jog, a pace I couldn’t quite yet sustain for very long. Our early morning “run” was really just some walking and slow jogging, but, oh, how I enjoyed the time with my family._ **

**_Before we headed home that morning, we stopped to watch the sunrise over the hills. I imagined the sky to be a canvas, an artist in the heavens I couldn’t see swiping merrily at it with his brush, swirling colors of dark blue, bright purple, magenta and a hint of golden yellow across the expanse._ **

**_Earlier, I figured once we returned home, I’d probably flop right down into bed, promising no one would see me again till midday meal, but somehow, after the bout of light exercise, watching the sunrise with Daddy and T’Rul, heading home while chatting to one another as though I’d been a part of the family forever, I just didn’t feel like sleeping. I felt energized._ **

**_After a good breakfast, Daddy spent the next two hours helping me study both language and music. Not to toot my own horn, as the Earth saying goes, but I think my speech is improving. Daddy seems pretty pleased with my progress. About the music lessons… Well, I suppose I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. It’s not like I’ve ever played an instrument before. While Daddy eventually had me try some simple exercises, it was mostly learning generic things like how to properly tune the instrument, how to hold it, and proper finger placement on the fingerboard. I learned a few beginning notes and how to play them. A fulfilling morning to say the least._ **

**_Though I could probably (likely) ramble on and on in these pages about my adoption, and how happy I am to finally carry the House name of Illialhae, recounting all the wonderful moments, there is a little non-awesome news to share._ **

**_One evening Daddy took both T’Rul and me aside for a talk, a talk that under normal circumstances probably wouldn’t have been a big deal, probably even just a passing comment from father to daughter, but since I’m now in the family it kind of is one – a big deal. Daddy will soon be gone for a ten-day on assignment. That’s it. To T’Rul, someone who is used to losing him for upwards of five years at a time, the average length for a standard military tour, ten days is nothing. For me, someone who has come to depend on him greatly, who is so used to seeing him virtually whenever I need, who is there to comfort, console and help me through the insecurities and traumas of another life I’d give anything to forget; losing him for ten days feels like the worst thing imaginable._ **

**_At least it’s not five years, and at least the assignment, whatever it is, will be on the homeworld rather than off it. That’s some comfort at least, knowing there won’t be any battles he’ll have to fight that we could lose him in, no possible way for him to succumb to injury or danger. At least there’s that._ **

**_He said he would be departing in three days’ time. Guess how long it’s been since the news?_ **

**_Three days._ **

**_How in the world did three days pass by so quickly? I’ve been so preoccupied with spending every spare moment with him, studying my language lessons, beginning musical ones (not that I’ve been able to concentrate much on either), sitting and talking; I even attempted to challenge him to a game of Latrunculo, a stylized strategy game much like chess but far more difficult. If anything, I ended up more frustrated than anything else; chess, any form of it, is definitely not my game!_ **

**_With this constant rain cloud over my head, following me around wherever I go, I never bothered to go back to Leinarrah to pick up the dress I once felt so excited about. I think we should have picked it up two days ago. Kind of wish I had, so Daddy could see it before he heads off to do whatever, wherever for a week. Oh well. It’s my own fault for letting the news get to me way more than it should have._ **

**_As you know, Journal, I’m still pretty damn insecure, needy. Sitting here, I wonder “how do I survive without him for that long”, and then I feel stupid for thinking it at all._ **

**_Since sleep seems to be a fleeting thing this morning, maybe I’ll go out into the gardens for a while and just sit on that moss-covered rock that’s become my thinking spot._ **

**With a sigh, I snapped the journal closed, replacing it on my nightstand, taking a minute to stop by the bathroom to splash some cool water on my face. It didn’t really do anything for the dark circles beneath my eyes.**

**Plans for an early morning think in the gardens fell away due to the scent of coffee in the air. I should have figured Daddy would be up early today. Away from the gardens and into the dining room, Daddy already at the head of the table with a PADD in one hand, mug of steaming hot coffee in the other.**

**“Morning, Daddy,” I said quietly not bothering to try and be cheerful. Even if I had tried, there’s little doubt in my mind he would have instantly seen through the façade, glimpsed the anxiety I felt so strongly. Eyes ringed by exceptionally dark shadow told right away of my sleepless night, and it was all I could do not to shed tears in response to his having to go.**

**“Good morning, Ael,” he responded, placing the PADD down on the table, opening an arm to me for a hug I felt desperately needed. “I wish I could say it is a surprise to see you awake so early.”**

**Wondering if he’d heard me pacing around my room at one stage, or maybe when I dropped my journal on the floor, I nodded, leaning in for the offered hug. The tears I’d been holding back slowly started to appear. I didn’t call attention to them, just stayed wrapped in that hug, face hidden, wondering why I couldn’t handle the idea of him going away.**

**“Actually, I didn’t sleep last night,” I admitted, voice muffled from my face pressed up against his shoulder. “After I’d fallen asleep sometime around second hour, I woke by a half-past third. I thought about coming to you but after you stayed up half the night trying to soothe me to sleep in the first place… It didn’t feel right to bother you.”**

**And then I started to spill how I felt, most of which he probably already knew. “I know, you don’t have a choice but to go, and I’m probably clinging to you way too much…” Another little sigh. “It’s going to take a lifetime and a half to make me stop fretting so much over every little thing.”**

**I finally succeeded in pulling back from the hug, allowing my face into view, the tears to be seen. Daddy cupped my chin gently in his hand and gave me a reassuring smile.**

**“I understand why you are often uncertain, just as I also understand my absence from the home will cause you to worry. What is it you fear the most during my time away and I will attempt to set your mind at ease.”**

**What to choose?**

**The worry of sleepless nights was a possibly easy fix: either a hot cup of yhi’ylo, a type of tea said to naturally induce a sense of calm, to bring good dreams, or a warm cup of something simply dubbed ‘comfort milk’, sure to put me right to sleep without much fuss. The former would be more up T’Rul’s alley, the latter, mine. Daddy proceeded to make me a cup while we talked. Warm milk with soothing spices, things similar to nutmeg, cinnamon, wild clove, a tiny pinch of allspice, all added to lightly simmering liquid then mixed with honey, served up in a favorite mug at the kitchen table.**

**Being a little bundle of worry and nerves, neither of which I had a handle on quite yet, Daddy suggested I learn to meditate, to try and control the excessive fretting. T’Rul would help me if I asked her. I didn’t see how sitting on the floor, probably in the dark with my eyes closed would help but I promised I’d try.**

**“You will learn to redirect your thoughts in time, to occupy your mind with other things instead of lingering on what you are unable to control. There will undoubtedly be periods during your life when I am called away from home; such is a side-effect of military life, Ael.”**

**“I won’t learn soon enough,” I mumbled into my cup. “The one thing that bothers me the most, though, what scares me beyond reason…” I took a deep breath. “What if, while you’re away, the Tal’shiar sends someone after me, to take me away from home in the dead of night?”**

**For a moment, I’d forgotten what organization Daddy worked for. “I can give you my personal guarantee that such a fate will never become you,” he promised, patting my shoulder. “No operative or agent will ever remove you from this home. They will protect you if anything.”**

**That made me feel a little better. “I trust you,” I said. “And, somehow, I’ll cope with you away. I have to learn not to worry at some point, right?”**

**“You will do well, my winged one,” he reassured. “T’Rul will be here with you; the days will pass more quickly than you think.”**

**Nodding, I resigned myself to sitting quietly, sipping what remained of the spiced milk in my mug, mentally counting the ways I could keep the time passing quickly over the next ten days. T’Rul would be able to help me with both music and language lessons, though probably not to the extent Daddy could. She’d probably be able to find something else for me to study if I asked. Meditation, sitting in the gardens, going for a walk or two if the weather stayed sunny; I still had to go to Leinarrah and pick up my dress which meant I might be able to convince T’Rul for another day out in town even if we did little more than window shop.**

**Not long after finishing what remained in my cup, my eyes grew heavy, and I involuntarily laid my head on folded arms on the table. A hand on my back rubbed relaxing, soothing circles; suddenly, it felt impossible to stay conscious.**

**“Ugh, no,” I said groggily, sitting upright. There would be plenty of time for sleep once he’d gone. Knowing me, I’d cry myself right to it.**

**“Allow yourself to sleep, Ael, it is all right. Nothing good will come from denying your body of rest.” I tried to insist sleep was impossible. Daddy didn’t buy it. “I do not have to depart for three more hours,” he said gently. “I will wake you before I must go.”**

**To go to bed and get warm and snug beneath the quilt or sleep with my head on the table, likely waking up to a literal pain in the neck; the decision should have been stupidly simple. “All right,” I relented with a yawn. “Sleep it is.” Guess who made herself at home on Daddy’s lap, dozing happily with a head on his shoulder. That’s what I did, peacefully, for nearly two hours straight, the sound of a slamming door jerking me awake in a hurry. Brisk, heavy, almost stomping boot steps carried someone down the hall and toward the dining room.**

**Instantly, I knew who it had to be: Sela. I’d barely seen her at all over the last week, our paths crossing only a handful of times, thank the Elements. At least she would be going on assignment with Daddy; I shuddered to think what life would be like if she remained at home while he was away. An annoyed grumbling bubbled up in my throat in regards to Sela’s stomping about, our gazes locking when she entered the dining room. Blue eyes, cold as anything swept up from the PADD in Sela’s hand, holding squarely onto mine, narrowing, refusing to blink for the longest time. I don’t think she approved of my position, sitting there on Daddy’s lap, his arm around me while he studied his PADD. I wondered if she’d heard of my adoption yet.**

**“You have _got_ to be kidding me,” I heard Sela mumble, the PADD in her grip squeezed tight. Without waiting for a response, she huffed at me, rolled her eyes and left.**

**“I’m glad she’s going with you or at least going somewhere,” I said.**

**“I made certain to have her called to assignment,” Daddy said seriously. “While there probably would have been no direct confrontation on her part, at least not likely, I chose not to take the risk. Sela is often not particularly rational when something has her jealous.”**

**He’d mentioned that once before, or so I seemed to remember. Perhaps Sela’s jealousy stemmed from the fact she barely had standing left within the family, meanwhile, I’d been formally adopted into it. I didn’t know what else it could be, but since I didn’t much care at the moment, I let it go.**

**T’Rul walked into the dining room a moment later, asking, “What was that about?” It almost bothered me to see her looking fresh as the proverbial daisy, showered, dressed, awake and alert, ready to begin the day. Meanwhile, I sat there sluggish, tired, wishing I could go back to bed and forget about today altogether.**

**“Blondie’s feathers got ruffled when she saw me sitting like this,” I said a touch sourly. “Upset at seeing me; what else is new?”**

**“Sounds like Sela,” said T’Rul with a shake of her head and a sigh. “She is best ignored.”**

**Easier said than done.**

**“I am certain a good portion of Sela’s aggravation has to do with the fact she was given less than two days’ notice in which to prepare for a temporary assignment,” Daddy said.**

**“Mm, I heard her grumbling about it the other evening,” T’Rul admitted. “She said something about returning to her days as a Serona scruff. It would be a severe understatement to say she was only slightly unhappy.”**

**“A “scruff” is just a glorified errand runner and menial task-doer, yeah?” I asked, attempting to refresh my memory. When T’Rul nodded in confirmation, I scowled. “And I bet her royal highness blames me for it.”**

**“If anything, she only has herself to blame,” said T’Rul seriously. “With her vast array of continual failures, it’s a wonder she hasn’t yet been demoted right back to Junior Uhlan.”**

**“Indeed,” said Daddy dryly, though he didn’t elaborate. “This assignment will not see her in a position of command, a situation she is unused to. She may not enjoy the experience but she will survive it, perhaps learning something in the process.”**

**“One can hope,” said T’Rul, heading away towards the kitchen to prepare some tea. “But that would also mean we would likely be setting ourselves up for further disappointment. But enough about Sela; let’s see about breakfast.”**

…

 

**After the quietest breakfast in the world, more of it left on my plate than anywhere near my stomach, I settled in to wait for the clock to strike the dreaded hour of Daddy’s departure. The three of us, me, Daddy, T’Rul (I really didn’t care where Sela had gone), convened in the sitting room, on the large window seat overlooking the back gardens. The beauty of the world just beyond the window held little appeal today. Mostly, I sat close to Daddy, holding his hand, staring blankly outside at a purple-tendrilled plant that seemed to be playfully batting at a blue and silver butterfly.**

**The tranquil beauty of the gardens, the cup of herbal tea with a hint of honey T’Rul prepared for me; nothing my father or sister said eased the problem of an overworking mind. On the twentieth glance up to the clock, the hands yielded the time I hadn’t been looking forward to. Five minutes past, actually. Determined to be brave, for once in my life, I heaved a sigh, lifted my chin, refusing to allow the sting of tears into my eyes. At least until he’d gone.**

**A gentle squeeze of my hand, another reassuring word as we stood from our seats; I began to reconsider the whole bravery thing. Walking Daddy out to the flitter, I felt my melancholy mood shifting, moving up to irritated thanks to Sela huffing near the front door, agitated at the thought of leaving a few minutes later than she’d like. Barely resisting the urge to tell Blondie where to stuff it, I concentrated on saying goodbye to Daddy for a ten-day. A warm hug, lots of well-wishes; Sela grew tired of waiting, rolled her eyes at the displays of affection and went out to wait by the flitter.**

**“It may only be a ten-day,” I said once I’d found my voice. “But I’m really going to miss you. More than I probably should.”**

**“The time will pass more quickly than you think,” he said.**

**_Fathers always say that_ ** **,** **I thought to myself. At least I had my language lessons and music to keep me occupied during the days. I kept my thoughts focused there, watching T’Rul wish Daddy well on his coming task, lovingly squeezing his hand, him responding with a word of thanks and a hand clasped on her shoulder.**

**If only I could say “see you in a week!” with that much dignity. At least I still hadn’t cried.**

**The front door opened, Daddy stepped through. I could feel my resolve crumbling. “Stay safe,” I attempted to say. The words came out a bit meeker than I’d meant. Maybe just one more hug. T’Rul walked with me down the front path, where we raised our eyes to the sky, hands up to shield them from the sun’s glare, watching as the flitter lifted easily into the air and zoomed away.**

**The flitter had been long gone for several minutes before I dropped my gaze, turned on my heel and headed inside, standing in the main hall, feeling a little lost on what to do next.**

**“Has the house always been this big, this quiet?” I wondered aloud, heading in the direction of the sitting room. Daddy’s favorite book sat closed on one of the chairs. Lifting it, I held it close to my chest and then sat in the chair curled up like a cat, opening the book and staring at a language that still felt far too foreign to read at first glance.**

**“Father will be all right, Ael.” T’Rul had come over to my chair and perched on the armrest with a hand on my shoulder.**

**“I know.” My voice lacked conviction. T’Rul noticed. “At least it’s only a week.” He could have been called away for a full tour, five years of service away from both home and family.**

**“Very true. There’s also the possibility he’s only an hour away from home, at some clandestine facility that neither of us even knows exists.”**

**Doubting it with every ounce of my being, I closed the book I couldn’t read and nodded. “Yeah, maybe,” I said with false brightness.**

**“Perhaps we should get a routine of study and training established for you.” Tipping my head, I gazed at her curiously. Aside from language lessons and, now, music, I didn’t have much else to study. The idea of training had my curiosity piqued. Most Romulans started training by the time they could hold a weapon, at the very least, learned generic martial arts. Something else for me to be behind with. Training and study both came early to Romulan children, probably a reason why a Romulan at the age of twelve was said to be more intelligent than a human twice their age. And then there’s the whole “several times stronger than the average human” thing.**

**What would training mean for me, I had to wonder.**

**“It might be a good idea,” I offered slowly, still wondering. “Though to be honest, I don’t feel like doing terribly much right now.”**

**“Fair enough. Take an hour or two by yourself, perhaps a bit of a nap since you appear a bit sleep-deprived. After that, if you like, I can help you put together a daily schedule to follow, at least for the next ten-day.”**

**I readily agreed, about both the prospect of a schedule and a nap. Falling asleep while balanced on Daddy’s lap hadn’t exactly replenished my energy stores. Off to my room, collapsing into bed where I slept for all of an hour, a nasty nightmare, one where Daddy had been killed while away at – wherever he was – woke me with a such a start I fell right off the bed.**

**I stayed secluded away till midday meal, barely eating once I took my place at the table. Nightmare aside, to see the chair at the head of the table empty – I didn’t like it. It made me feel empty, sad, kind of alone even though T’Rul sat right across the way.**

**After lunch, I worked with T’Rul on setting up a schedule, to prevent unnecessary bouts of moping around the house. Well, _she_ worked on setting up a schedule. I concentrated on a tiny blue insect on my bedroom window. **

**A walk in the mornings before breakfast every other day at least, a language lesson after breakfast, again after dinner, practicing the new instrument I’d suddenly taking to neglecting, after midday meal for at least an hour, two if I could concentrate. T’Rul even suggested times for meditation, nothing strenuous, ten to twenty minutes a day, not that I knew _how_ to meditate mind you. **

**“If you would like something to study, I could easily find you some lessons, put them on a PADD for you to use.”**

**“What did you have in mind?” I doubted my brain would be terribly enthusiastic about what a normal Romulan my age would already be studying, and understanding without much fuss. As long as lessons on say, quantum mechanics didn’t turn up on the PADD, I’d be golden.**

**“Do you have anything you’re interested in? What do you hope to be one day, Ael?”**

**The question, one I swear I’d answered before, weeks ago, pulled me away from my anxiety, concern over Daddy’s well-being. “A soldier in the Star Navy.”**

**“Specialty?”**

**A little blush crept up my cheeks when I admitted, “Tactical. I want to be a tactical and weapons officer, a strategist.” Admitting those dreams felt a little ridiculous. Coming from a life of hardship, trauma, still frightened of the dark and loud noises, unsettled with Daddy away from home for only a week; standing barely five feet tall in my shoes, weighing about as much as a limp noodle, little strength when compared to others of this world, way behind in study and training. “Look at me though…”**

**“Size means little, Ael. The Ael of our history, your namesake, stood even smaller than you. She allowed nothing to stand in the way of what she knew she must do, and neither will you. It will take time to heal the wounds of the past, but you will grow, you will heal, you will learn all that you need.”**

**For a moment, I thought it might have been Daddy talking to me through T’Rul. It sounded so much like what he might say. “What about the fact I’m weaker compared to everyone else? If you wanted, you could snap my arm without even trying. Even the weakest Romulan alive could put me down without a second thought.”**

**“Living on this world for decades to come, as you will do, will strengthen you significantly. The higher gravity will lend well to a high level of fitness when you begin active training. Muscle mass will increase, become denser. Trust me, a’rhea, one day you will easily be able to hold your own.”**

**I admit it, she made me smile, feel a little better. T’Rul promised to find a PADD filled with the likes of strategy puzzles and combat scenarios to look at, relatively easy ones to start with, perhaps even an hour or so a day in the workout room if I felt up to it. Further distraction could only help.**

**A bit of my day I chose to spend out in the gardens, sitting by the pond, watching the lilies float along on the surface.**

**“You miss him, don’t you?” I looked up from the lilies and nodded.**

**“It should not be hitting me this hard,” I said, annoyed. At least I still hadn’t cried my head off. There’s that.**

**“Deep down, I wonder if a part of you isn’t frightened of possible abandonment.” T’Rul gently cupped my chin, lifted my gaze to hers. “That will not happen.”**

**“I know he wouldn’t leave me – us – on purpose,” I said. “If he never came home again, I don’t know what I would do.” Pulling away from her hand, I looked towards the sky, blinking rapidly. “Elements. When did I become so damned sensitive? Not even when I was on Earth, in the sorry excuse for a home and family, did I ever cry this much.”**

**“Times change, things change, and people change, a’rhea; your emotions are changing due to this environment and the people around you. You have come to see what it truly means to be a part of a family unit where people care about, love, cherish one another greatly. You are finding happiness and security, but with those things you are also experiencing the fear that can go alongside it, the fear that comes when a father goes away on assignment, taking a piece of that security with him.”**

**“Does it ever go away? That fear?”**

**“Over time, it will become less,” she promised. “Though there will still be times when you worry. Even I do. The key, Ael, is to not allow your thoughts to stay there in the worry.”**

**“If only it were possible right this second,” I said with a sigh. The little blue bug on my window, the source of my latest distraction, flitted away and I frowned. “Right now, though, T’Rul, I think I’d just like to be alone with my thoughts.”**

**“All right. I’ll come by in an hour or two to look in on you. Perhaps I can give you a bit of a language lesson if you feel up to it.”**

**I doubted I would feel up to much of anything for the next ten-day but I nodded, she left, and I flopped back on the bed and pulled the quilt right over my head.**

 

…

**At last, the day had come to an end. Maybe I could finally flop into bed, crash hard, and forget for at least a few hours of Daddy’s absence from home. Admittedly, while I had spent most of the day fretting a bit, T’Rul continually attempted to distract me away from worry. It didn’t really work out as she’d planned. There was a very brief attempt at giving me a language lesson; there didn’t seem to be any way I could concentrate, sounding more like a stark beginner at learning the Romulan tongue over someone who had already been learning for weeks. I left my violin in its case beneath the bed. The way I felt, I’d probably forget to rosin the bow all the way and make horrendously scratchy sounds against the strings, if I even remembered the rosin at all. I decided not to chance it. I also think I’d already forgotten how to read tablature.**

**Mostly, I sat around and wondered what Daddy might be up to. Was I, along with T’Rul, in his thoughts or had we been removed from them over the course of the day?**

**_Probably removed_ ** **, I decided, which didn’t really bother me as much as all that. I’m sure once his day concluded, whenever that would be if it hadn’t already, T’Rul and I would be on his mind at least a little.**

**I stayed in the gardens until the light of day began to wane, the colors in the sky fading from blue to purplish-pink, to a midnight shade; T’Rul called me into the house for last meal just as I began to count the stars as they twinkled into view. Dinnertime turned out to be nearly as quiet as breakfast. There didn’t seem to be much to say. At least the food was good, what I ate of it.**

**After mealtime, clean up and changing into sleepwear, I debated on whether or not to try and read for a while, maybe soak in a hot bath until my body relaxed to the point sleep became involuntary. Instead, I decided to see if T’Rul had anything on her homeopathic remedy list that might help me get to sleep and stay that way for a good eight hours.**

**“Come with me,” she said, leading me into the kitchen and proceeding to make a cup of hot, herbal, strong smelling something. “Yhi’ylo,” she said, presenting me with a mug full of hot greenish-yellow liquid. Personally, I thought it smelled like a steaming mug of lawn clippings from the front yard, far preferring both the scent and taste of the calm-inducing drink Daddy had prepared for me earlier on in the morning.**

**“This stuff tastes pretty awful,” I openly admitted after around my fourth sip.**

**“I suppose it’s an acquired taste. Next time, I’ll add a bit more honey to your cup.”**

**Next time I needed a bit of liquid calm, I’d inquire about the warm spiced milk. After taking a good half hour to get the entirety of the tea down my throat, and it’s _horrendous_ once cold, I thought I could feel the first twinges of sleepiness settling in.  Even so, I doubted sleep would come easily, which I admitted to T’Rul who seemed aware the cup of tea she’d made might not be enough on its own to coax my overworking mind into a state of rest.**

**With a beckoning gesture to follow, T’Rul headed down the hall. I fell into step behind her not bothering to ask where we might be off to. Barely paying any attention to wherever T’Rul might be leading me, I allowed my thoughts to wander off a million light-years away, thinking of Daddy, wondering what he might be up to at this hour. If anything, I bet he’d already had his evening meal, winding down the evening with a good book. By this time, I’m sure T’Rul and I had a place in his most immediate thoughts.**

**My thought bubble burst and I pulled up fast to avoid clipping T’Rul’s heels; she had come to a stop inside a little room I hadn’t seen before now or if I had, it’d long since forgotten it existed.**

**A room about the size of our private reading nook, sparsely decorated, two oblong blue cushions on the floor, prompted me to ask, “what’s this?”**

**“Something that should help you find a more restful night’s sleep,” she said. “I am going to help you meditate. If we don’t find a way to calm your thoughts, I have a feeling the majority of the night hours will be spent with you, flat on your back in bed, staring fretfully at the ceiling.”**

**Truer words had never been spoken, as the saying goes.**

**“What do I do?” Pictures of sitting cross-legged on the floor, eyes closed, arms out, elbows balanced on knees, thumb and pointer fingers forming a ring, all the while chanting “ohm” flooded my thoughts at the word “meditate”. We hadn’t even started and already I felt ridiculous.**

**Several small, round white candles, cradled carefully in holders along the back wall were lit, the room otherwise dark. T’Rul told me to get comfortable on one of the cushions. I opted for the cross-legged position; it wasn’t as horrendously uncomfortable as I assumed, and allowed my eyes to drift closed.**

**“Would you like any background noise?” One of my eyes peeked open.**

**“I thought meditation was done in silence?” Wasn’t it?**

**“Sometimes.” Sitting cross-legged on her own cushion, back straight, hands resting relaxed on her knees, T’Rul faced me. I was still squinting at her through one barely open eye. It made her laugh a little. “Some people find the quiet allows for easier concentration during the meditative process, others prefer ambient music or sound. This time, since you are only just beginning, we will opt for quiet.”**

**Adjusting position so I sat up straight, a little reminder needed to relax my arms and hands since I really didn’t know how to place them, my eyes fluttered closed.**

**Instead of telling me to “empty my mind”, like I assumed would be next, T’Rul said, “I want you to concentrate on your breathing. Breathe naturally. Allow yourself to become aware of your breaths, how they feel as you take them in through the nose, and how they feel once released.”**

**Admittedly, I almost laughed. I didn’t. Barely. Swallowing down the giggle, clearing my mind though I hadn’t been instructed to, I concentrated on each breath as it came and went.**

**After a minute or two of silence and breathing, I said, eyes still closed, “Am I doing this right? I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be feeling. And I think my rear fell asleep on this cushion.”**

**“You are doing fine, Ael,” said T’Rul, eyes still closed. “Concentrate on your breathing.”**

**Another mild interruption to concentration when I asked for some ambient noise. The sounds of a light spring shower, or perhaps the splashing of waves against rocks on the beach. “It’ll help me concentrate, especially the sounds of ocean waves rolling and splashing.”**

**“Many people find such sounds soothing,” A quick word to the in-home computer system and the sounds of the ocean waves crashing mightily against sandy shores, filled our space. Instantly, I felt more relaxed, a little smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.**

**Concentrating on my breaths and breathing, while a little odd to me at first, soon put me in a state of quiet calmness. Well, calmer than earlier in the day. I certainly wasn’t ready to start “Ohm-ing” and talking about “inner peace”!**

**My perceptions regarding meditation and how it would go quickly fell away as I sat there, breathing in and out, in and out, listening to the sounds of the sea, feeling my anxiousness from earlier in the day carried away over a watery horizon I could see within my mind.**

**Just when I thought I might drop off, soothed to sleep by the ocean, T’Rul spoke quietly, the sounds of the waves fading away a little at a time until we were left with silence once again.**

**Slowly, my eyes opened, and a yawn slipped out. “How long we were at it?”**

**“Only twenty minutes or so. How do you feel?”**

**“More relaxed, I think,” I said, barely managing to make it up off my cushion and back on my feet without a hand up. I almost felt a little floppy.**

**“Good. Steady on your feet.” T’Rul reached out to steady me before I fell over. I was suddenly wobbly, more tired than I thought. “A mug of hot tea, some meditation; both are often instrumental in securing a good night’s sleep.”**

**“You can have the tea,” I said with a sleepy smile. “Next time, I am opting for that warm spiced milk with the honey.”**

**Out of the room, back down the hall, bidding each other goodnight with a warm hug and a smile. By the time I reached my room, I was more than ready to drift off to sleep. Before I climbed into bed, I stared through my bedroom window, the twin moons bright and luminescent, nestled in a bed of black velvet littered with specks of starlight. My thoughts drifted once again to my father, but this time they were not filled with anxiety or worry.**

**“Goodnight, Daddy,” I murmured softly. “I hope you sleep well… wherever you are. Your winged one loves you.”**


	18. Chapter 18

Ael woke the next morning in a bed far too large, drowning in an earth-toned tunic much the same. Rolling to her side, Ael mumbled incoherently into the dimness, pulling the extra fabric of her newly chosen sleepwear, one of her father’s large tunics, tightly around her, snuggling further beneath the quilt to lessen the sting of sunlight through the window on tired eyes. A joyfully chirping bird landed on the windowsill, incessantly trying to rouse Ael from bed; she simply pulled the quilt higher, grumbling beneath it for the unwanted songbird to “kindly get lost.”

Happy twittering rudely forcing Ael to abandon the possibility of a few minutes more sleep, she tossed back the covers and sat up, pushing severely disheveled hair away from her weary face, eyes rimmed by shadow. It had been another restless night, to say the least. Scooting over, reaching across to the nightstand, Ael grabbed hold of her journal and pen, sparing a few seconds to secure messy hair in a ponytail before attempting to make sense of her thoughts on paper.

“Lighting level up, not too bright,” she said with a yawn. Through slightly bleary vision, Ael began to write.

_Dear Journal,_

_So, here I am, bundled up in one of Daddy’s shirts, sitting in his bed, missing him probably a bit too much. The time is – It’s early. After meditating last night, I fell asleep pretty quick; personally, I think T’Rul put one of her herbal somethings in my tea, to make me fall asleep fast over staying up all night in worry. Not like it helped. After falling into bed, sleeping for a whopping two hours, I woke, rolling over to stare at the ceiling. I felt a bit disoriented, like waking from a nightmare I couldn’t remember. Unsettled, trying to figure out what I might have dreamed that made me feel so strange, I got up and peeked through my curtains, out into a beautifully clear night._

_Twin moons hung brightly in the sky, an uncounted number of stars scattered around them, as far as the eye could see. Tiredly, I stared up at those moons, those stars, a little pang of sadness in my gut. Right, Daddy wasn’t home. I wondered what he might be doing at that hour, perhaps some late-night meeting with other high-ranking officers. Most likely, though, he’d already retired to bed. I’m not sure why I stayed staring out into the night for as long as I did, but eventually, the darkness wasn’t quite so dark anymore. The sky had this faint purplish tinge, and the moons had long-since shifted away from where I’d first been looking._

_I tried to go back to sleep, but I needed, wanted comfort. I suppose I could have woken T’Rul for a talk over some tea; instead, after grabbing both stuffed tiger, and journal, I made my way down the hall, up the stairs to Daddy’s room and let myself in. After getting comfortable by placing one of his tunics over my sleepwear, I helped myself to that large bed, pulled the quilt up high, and fell right to sleep._

_Only to wake up an hour later, feeling like someones walked over my grave, then danced on in for good measure. I feel so disoriented and unsettled, definitely not very well-rested. Daddy’s probably awake by now, likely already had his coffee; it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s already down at HQ, already in some sort of meeting. At least he’s still on the homeworld, which means guaranteed safety, an assurance he’ll come walking through the front door within ten day's time._

Re-reading the final line, Ael reminded herself it was the truth, closed her journal, retrieved Mr. Mittens from where he’d fallen on the floor, and then headed down to her room for a long soak in the tub before breakfast.

An hour and a half later, clean and dressed, though no more rested than before, Ael trudged down the hall toward the kitchen. She was annoyed by the fact it bothered her when she couldn’t detect the scent of coffee in the air.

“Good morning,” said T’Rul when Ael entered the kitchen, one look all that was necessary to determine the past night had been miserably long. “You look like you’ve been awake all night.” Now, she seemed concerned.

“Just about,” Ael answered, yawning hugely. “After I initially went to bed, I woke within two hours. Then, I just stared out the window most of the night until I took myself up to Daddy’s room around fourth or fifth hour. I forget which; the sky was starting to turn a little purple, and the moons had gone about out of sight. I fell asleep for another hour, woke up, soaked in the tub for a while.”

“It’s little wonder why you look so tired. Here, sit down and I’ll make you some tea.”

“Ihor berry juice.” Ael insisted through another yawn. She was grateful T’Rul brought both items to the table. Alternately sipping both tea and juice, Ael ended up with a simple breakfast of hot grains, fruit, and honey, T’Rul wondering more than once if her sister might fall asleep in her bowl.

“I think you should return to bed for another hour or two,” said T’Rul following mealtime, Ael nodding in agreement, placing her breakfast bowl in the sink to soak. “After you’ve had a bit more rest, if you feel up to it, we can walk up to Leinarrah, see about a certain dress…”

“Right, I keep forgetting about that dress,” said Ael tiredly. “I’ll try and sleep for another hour. Honestly, I doubt I could make the walk to Leinarrah like this. My entire body feels like it’s buzzing.”

“To bed with you,” T’Rul ordered gently. “I’ll see to some studies and come look in on you in an hour or two.”

This time, Ael retreated to her own room instead of her father’s, collapsing in bed and dozing until the sun rested high in the heavens, nearly midday, before waking. “How can I still feel so dead?” Ael mumbled to no one, wiping the sleep from her eyes, heading to the kitchen to see about either lunch or a snack to quiet a grumbling stomach.

A piece of fruit in one hand, a handful of crackers in another, Ael went in search of T’Rul, finding her out in the gardens, sitting near the pond, PADD in hand.

“Finally up and about, I see.” T’Rul placed the PADD down on her lap. Ael sat on the edge of the pond beside her, biting into the soft yellow fruit and nodding. “Do you feel a least a little better? You certainly seem a bit more rested than before.”

A nod. “I think so. Oh, and sorry for sleeping so long. I meant to only lie down for an hour or two.”

“You certainly needed the rest, and there’s still plenty of daytime left to head out to Leinarrah, to pick up your dress and a few little extras to go along with it. When we return home, perhaps a bit of a language lesson would be in order, and then one pretaining to music.”

Ael had been set to reply that she didn’t feel like a language, or music lesson and could she skip one more day of them but then her mind drifted away, settling on the day their father would return home. Certain to be beautifully presented in a new outfit, Ael pictured running to the door to greet him, poised elegantly when he stepped through, her translator nowhere in sight while she welcomed him home in the native tongue. Without a doubt, he’d be proud of her progress, proud of her for continuing along in both daily routine, studies, and practices while he’d been away.

“Sounds good,” Ael said at last. “Maybe an extra-long language lesson since, you know, I didn’t have one yesterday. Hey, could we do that now?”

T’Rul nodded in mild surprise. “Of course. Go grab your PADD; we can have your lesson outside if you would like.”

Ael did. The next hour and a half passed by in a blink, Ael concentrating harder, more intently than normal, attempting to come through the lesson without a single mistake, almost succeeding.

“Very well done,” T’Rul praised. “See what you’re capable of if you bring your focus? Father would be proud of your progress.”

“Do you think he’ll notice a difference when he comes home?”

“Oh, I know he will, especially if you continue to apply yourself to your language studies as you did just then.”

Ael promised that would be the case, hurrying away to place her PADD back in her room before the girls’ trip down to Leinarrah. More excited than she’d felt in days, Ael nearly pulled T’Rul through the front door by the strap of her satchel when it came time to head to town, the jaunt to Leinarrah a quicker trip than their last one had been.

Childlike delight swept across Ael’s face when the clothing shop came into view, the shop which held a special, beautiful article of clothing tailored just for her. Once the shopkeeper made an appearance, the transaction progressed quickly, Ael slipping into the garment to make certain it fit as it should.

“I love it,” Ael gushed to T’Rul when she popped out of the changing room. It had been a bit difficult to pull herself away from gazing into the mirror. “Do you think Daddy will?”

“He will adore it, Ael. I don’t even think he’ll mind the fact the skirt isn’t dragging the floor.” T’Rul playfully nudged her sister who rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

Changing back into her normal clothes, accepting the dress back across the counter after it had been carefully bagged, Ael, T’Rul leading the way since she knew exactly where to go, went in search of a few bits and pieces to complete the ensemble she couldn’t wait for her father to see.

“Hey, these look nice,” said Ael pointing in through a shop window at a pair of knee-high black boots with a little heel. Ducking into the shop, Ael headed towards the footwear, lifting one of the boots from its display, turning it over in her hands for inspection. “It’s probably a bit too large for me to bother trying on.”

“We could always inquire about your size,” said T’Rul as Ael put the boot back on display. “That one there would probably be too large for _me_.”

“Hmm, yeah, OK, let’s ask.” It didn’t take long to find the shopkeeper, a middle-aged man who seemed to be far more content on the other side of the shop than anywhere remotely near Ael, shooting a mistrustful stare at her from across the way. Quickly, Ael’s hand lifted to touch her ear, feeling it hidden safely beneath a curtain of long hair, right where it should be. Like a good portion of the populace, this man had likely already heard her story, of how she came to this world, taken in by one of the military’s most elite, now lived in this particular province on Romulus.

 _One look at my hair color, flat forehead, and he knew,_ thought Ael, struggling to maintain eye contact. _I’m sure the story of my arrival, now, weeks ago, has made the rounds. Some might not care as much as all that, some might be curious, others disgusted. This man looks like a combination of disgusted and extremely suspicious._

“Maybe we should try somewhere else,” Ael suggested quietly, backing away towards the front of the shop and the door, T’Rul readily agreeing when she caught the expression on the man’s face.

“Agreed. Those boots looked poorly made to me anyway if you want my opinion. Perhaps a nice pair of sandals; I think a pair would go nicely with your dress.”

After a little window shopping, mostly to clear the bad feelings brought on by their last stop, the “most perfect sandals ever”, according to Ael, found their way to her feet. Black with silver buckles, a little wedge heel, lacing over her ankles; Ael felt giddy as she modeled them for her sister.

“I’m glad I didn’t go with those boots,” Ael declared. “These look so much nicer, and probably feel better on the feet, too.”

“Indeed. They look very elegant, Ael.”

Another hour flew by, Ael adding a pair of emerald green studs for her ears, silver clip for her hair, and a black choker to her outfit’s accessories, chuffed as anything her new outfit could be called complete. She could scarcely wait to try it all on together. After a quick meal at what was quickly becoming Ael’s favorite café, the girls headed home, the sun dipping down beneath a bit of unexpected cloud cover.

“I think it’s going to rain soon,” Ael commented as they let themselves into the house. “Those clouds look pretty grey.”

“It should only be a gentle shower.”

“I hope so. Hey, I’m going to go put this stuff away and then try and meditate for a little bit. I suddenly feel a bit off.”

“Would you like any company?” T’Rul asked, eyeing her sister worriedly.

“No, I think I’m okay.”

“All right then, I will leave you to it. I have some studies that I have been neglecting lately; they could use a little tending to.”

Heading down to her room Ael put the day’s purchases away, carefully hanging her prize – the green and black dress with a hint of gold – in the closet before settling down to meditate. Meditation failed to come easily, the tame ocean waves in her mind’s eye from the evening before, churning almost violently, swelling large beneath blackened clouds. Green eyes popped open; Ael shook her head as if to clear unwanted imagery.

“Maybe I should try this in the gardens,” she mused. A peek through the curtains saw the sky still a bit overcast, though patchy, as if it might be clearing without an afternoon shower as predicted. Deciding to chance it, Ael headed down the hall, stopped short when someone knocked on the front door.

Slightly worried in regards to who might be on the other side, perhaps a rogue Tal’shiar agent come to steal her away from home, Ael stepped gingerly around the corner as T’Rul moved past to answer the door.

“Who do you think it is?” Ael inquired, unaware of her sudden, nervous side-stepping.

“I have no idea. I certainly wasn’t expecting company.”

Silently, Ael wondered if perhaps their father had sent someone by to look in on them, more specifically, her. “No, that can’t be it,” Ael said to herself. “He’s barely been gone a day and a half. And it can’t be a Tal’shiar soldier not that they’re prone to knocking on front doors.”

Curiously, tentatively, Ael stepped back around the corner and headed towards the front door, being careful to keep her distance, just in case. Listening carefully, Ael could hear T’Rul exchanging pleasantries with an older woman, a woman who soon stood in the main hall, door closed behind her. Perhaps this was an old friend of the family whom she didn’t need to fear. Quietly, Ael stepped closer to appraise her.

Stance regal, almost arrogantly poised, chin raised as though she had little time to care about those beneath her in status; the woman’s lips pressed together tightly, her countenance chilly, unwelcoming. A dress the color of a stormy sky covered her wiry form, the covering, though fancy, doing little to accentuate any curves that might have remained from youth. The older Romulan’s hair was silvery white with flecks of black, cropped in the traditional military style worn by most, military or otherwise.

Suddenly, Ael didn’t feel like going over to say hello, finding the woman’s stance alone to be off-putting, even more so when their gazes met.

 _I never thought I would see a pair of eyes colder than Sela’s_ , thought Ael. _Sela’s stares are downright loving compared to these. Maybe I’ll just back away quietly, retreat back to my room. Though I suppose now would be a good a time as any to practice bravery. I suppose it’s possible she’s the sort of woman who looks down their noses at everyone. Maybe._

Ael stepped a fraction closer, T’Rul sensing her sister’s unease. “So, Taelis,” T’Rul began, “What brings you by? Everything is all right, I trust.”

For several tense moments, at least from Ael’s perspective, Taelis didn’t speak, the woman spending the time scrutinizing Ael from head to toe like she was an inferior lifeform of which to be wary. Ael hated how vulnerable the sweeping gazes made her feel, like the place where she should be safe from harm, had just become a dangerous place filled with predators waiting to strike. Perhaps staying several feet away, out of grabbing distance would be a sound idea.

Lifting her chin higher and turning back to T’Rul, Taelis said, “Yes, dear. Everything is fine. I wanted to make certain you were faring well in your father’s absence.”

 _Hmm, this is odd_ , T’Rul thought. _Taelis has never come by the home to look in on me the other times Father was off on assignment. Come to think of it, how did she even know he’d gone? Definitely strange, and the way she looks at Ael unsettles me._

“An unexpected, though welcomed kindness,” said T’Rul politely, glancing back at Ael who stood warily several feet back. “Ael and I are doing well.”

A sneer on her lips, Taelis turned back toward Ael. “No, dear,” she said shortly, “I came by to check on _you.”_

 _Offensive old crone,_ Ael thought angrily. _I wish Daddy were here. He wouldn’t stand for either me or T’Rul being insulted._

T’Rul could see the taken offense behind Ael’s eyes, the anger of being ignored, the slight hurt that came from being rejected by someone she hadn’t yet gotten the chance to know.

“Ael is a part of my family,” T’Rul said, attempting to remain civil. “Coming by to check on me, also means you check on her.”

Taelis scoffed the response. “Staying within your home’s walls does not mean she has a place within your family, Home or clan. Surely you were taught these things, T’Rul.”

A frown of annoyance turned down T’Rul’s lips. No longer did she feel anything towards the once kindness she thought Taelis had gone out of her way to show.

“My father taught me such things well,” she answered shortly. “I do not call Ael family simply because she lives here. I call her family, _sister_ because that’s who she is to me.” And then, despite Taelis’s nasty stare, T’Rul said, “My father adopted her, Taelis. _Formally_.”

 Silence fell.

“What in the names of the Elements could he have been _thinking_?” Taelis said, at last, more to herself than T’Rul who bristled in offense. “To allow yet another _hevam_ into his home without guard at her back, free to roam both home and city.”

 _Is she talking about Sela_? Ael thought. Another series of unkindnesses flew toward Ael who ceased wondering to whom Taelis might be referring to. Standing tall, Ael demanded the old woman cease insulting her.

“All right, that’s enough,” said T’Rul sternly. Even though T’Rul had been speaking more to Taelis than her, Ael stepped back. “Your insults are not welcome here, and I’m beginning to think that’s why you stopped by. No matter what you think, Taelis, Ael _is_ Romulan. Looks can be deceiving.”

“So can her species,” Taelis countered coldly.

“What the hell is your problem?” Ael shouted.

“That should be glaringly obvious,” Taelis snapped. “You may think you belong here, that you are somehow Romulan, one of this world, but you are sadly mistaken. This is not your world, child, nor will it ever be. There will be a day when you venture too far from these walls; it will be the last mistake you ever make.”

“if my father were standing here right now,” began T’Rul in a tone so deep Ael felt a chill, “he’d damn well end you for having the _audacity_ to threaten one of his children. At the very least, he’d toss you out through the front door, which is exactly what I’m about to do. Get out. _Now_.”

Dipping her head in false respect, Taelis said, “As you wish,” then turned to go. Before Taelis stepped across the threshold, she turned back, gaze locking with Ael’s. “Trusting a human; it really is such a pity your father will make the same mistake twice.”

“And your mistake was opening your foolish old mouth,” T’Rul snapped. “My father will be informed of this incident upon his arrival home. I ought to contact HQ now, pass along a note his youngest daughter has received what could be construed as a death threat, and exactly from whom it came from.” And then she shut the door firmly.

Ael stepped forward to join her sister, feeling confused. “People keep saying that,” she said to T’Rul. “About Daddy making mistakes trusting humans. T’Rul, I’m confused.”

“Don’t listen to her, Ael,” said T’Rul seriously. “Taelis had no right to say those things or to threaten you.”

“I guess.”

“What is it?” Ael suddenly seemed to be drooping.

“The looks she gave me, the words she flung; to most of this world, T’Rul, I’ll never be seen a Romulan, more like a human masquerading as something she’ll never be.”

T’Rul placed a hand on Ael’s shoulder. Her sister shrugged it away. “Ael, do not allow that old crone’s words to destroy you. Father wouldn’t stand for it.”

At the mention of her father, Ael asked, “Hey, do you think we could keep what just happened, between us?”

“Wait, what? Whatever for? Is there a reason you would rather Father not be informed? Quite honestly, I was about to inform him now, at the very least have a message sent to him. He not only needs to know about this, but he would want to be told. Ael, he loves you dearly. To know that someone threatened you; he’d have the problem remedied by nightfall.”

“I don’t want him to worry,” said Ael with a shrug. “With my past traumas and fears, the way I often need comforting when I shouldn’t; I already feel so burdensome, T’Rul. I don’t need Daddy to fear for me to the point he orders soldiers to stand watch outside, around the clock. I love him too much to be that kind of burden.”

“For the moment, I’ll let it drop,” said T’Rul uncertainly. “We will be discussing it later, however. I doubt my mind will change on whether or not to inform Father.”

“I’m going to the gardens to meditate,” Ael said, turning away to head outside, barely wondering if someone might be waiting out back, hidden in the bushes or trees, ready to pounce, perhaps shoot her from somewhere she couldn’t see.

Ael sat cross-legged on the moss-covered rock that had become her spot to think, now, to meditate, attempting to clear her mind of troubled thoughts and failing miserably.

“The only thing capable of making me feel better right now, the only _person_ capable is who knows how many miles away. Isn’t this fitting,” she mumbled, rain beginning to fall, splashing down to soak her. She suddenly felt more vulnerable than she had in a while.  Ael looked up toward the sky, squinting through the raindrops, begging whatever God or Element could hear that a little assistance, perhaps some divine intervention on her behalf would be welcomed.

Though two people whom she loved and cherished had come to love her, Ael wished others would at least give her a chance.

_I hope a day comes when more people are for me than so blindly against._

 

 

…

 

_I guess the Elements never got my memo; the entire world is going to be against me forever, isn’t it?_

It seemed to be true. Two days had passed since the previous incident at the home involving Taelis, a nasty old woman who told Ael there would come a day when she would venture too far from home, meeting an untimely end. The encounter left Ael shaken for over a day afterward; after she’d come in from the garden after attempting to meditate for well over an hour in the pouring rain, she refused to go back outside for any reason. Practicing language lessons, music didn’t seem to hold much appeal; Ael did little more for a full day than sit inside and stare through the window despite T’Rul’s attempts to keep her on a normal schedule.

The following morning seemed to no better, Ael refusing her morning lessons, picking at her breakfast. With a little coercing, T’Rul managed to convince Ael the day, the weather was simply too perfect to waste, that a walk into town might be just the thing to boost her spirits even if it were only a little.

Moving along at a trudging pace, Ael attempted to find where the spring in her step had gone, lifting her face toward the sun, closing her eyes, allowing the comforting warmth to rain down and soothe her. Unlike previous outings, Ael wasn’t on the move to investigate every little insect, strange-looking flora or natural oddity in her path. Almost into town, still uncertain the outing had been a fantastic idea, the sound of laughter, of playful chatter, caught her attention.

“What’s that?” Curiousness won out over despondence, Ael detouring away from town, towards the sounds of what sounded like a group around her age engaged in a game of some sort. A group of five stood out in an open field about ten minutes out of town, Ael watching intently while one of the participants, a male of perhaps seventeen years, arranged a series of sticks and stones along the perimeter of a circle laid out upon the ground.

“They’re setting up another round of D’elo, it looks like,” T’Rul explained, the older boy moving away from the circle, his four companions coming in closer. Ael watched the four, three girls and another boy, studying the objects around the field of play. “A game begins with a large circle drawn on the ground, the leader placing stones and or sticks around the perimeter, usually in a pattern. Each item is then named for a prominent landmark; other times, they are named after constellations. Once the objects have been placed, the other players then come forward to study the layout. They are usually given a full minute to learn the order of placement along with their representations, though some argue that is more time than necessary. Then, as they are doing now,” she continued, nodding toward the group, “the players turn their backs to the circle. Whoever begins the round starts by naming what from the circle they remember, in order, I should add. They continue until they’ve made a mistake, at which point the next in line has a try and so on. Eventually, once someone names every representation in order, the game is won, the winner being the next to set the circle for play.”

“It sounds kind of fun,” said Ael, hanging back further than she wanted. She still didn’t feel comfortable around strangers especially those in groups.

“This game appears to be one of the more difficult ones,” said T’Rul, edging a little closer. “The leader has placed nearly thirty objects around the circle, in a difficult pattern to say the least,”

Though she didn’t exactly want to be noticed, with a longing to get closer, perhaps join the fun, Ael dared to take a step closer to the game, then another, and another, stopping a short distance away to watch it all unfold. Twenty minutes later a winner was declared, a rather pretentious girl around Ael’s age, named Vrina whose chin thrust out so high it almost reminded Ael of Taelis and the older woman’s arrogant, nasty manner.

“I know that one,” T’Rul said, nodding toward the arrogantly poised young lady, one who, even though she may have won the game, didn’t seem enthralled about having to place the stones and sticks around the perimeter herself. “She comes from a High-Born family much like we do, only arrogantly pretentious. She is generally not the type of person one would expect to see playing D’elo in a field.”

“Maybe we could go home and play it?” Ael suggested. “Can it be played with two?”

“We’ll make it work,” said T’Rul with a smile. “Did you still wish to go into town for a while?”

Before Ael could answer, before either she or her sister could turn away from the group, the older boy, an intimidating specimen named Somac, made his way over. Ael wished the breeze would die down for at least the next few minutes. Hurriedly, Ael pasted on a nervous smile, the action inviting instant suspicion and scrutiny from Somac, even more so when he drew close enough to take stock of Ael’s unusual, at least for a Romulan, eye and hair color, to say nothing of her lack of forehead ridges.

“I know exactly what you’re thinking,” said T’Rul in a no-nonsense tone. “My sister receives such scrutiny more often than necessary. She’s from Dartha.”

“Hmm, that would explain why her complexion is so fair, the odd hair and eye color,” said Somac, stepping closer than Ael felt comfortable. Hastily, she stepped behind T’Rul. “For someone with supposedly nothing to hide, your sister certainly seems anxious to leave.”

“Considering your behavior, I don’t really blame her,” T’Rul answered, resting a hand on the Honor Blade at her hip, sending a silent warning. “Why don’t you go back to your game; Ael and I will continue on through town.”

“It really is a rare thing, to see a Romulan who lacks forehead ridges, and do I spy a hint of pink on her cheeks?” Somac’s gaze turned downright murderous, Ael wishing the ground would open up and swallow her down. “She is either a fouled-blood or she’s a _hevam_ ; neither put me in the best of moods.”

“That doesn’t strike me as a terribly difficult thing to accomplish,” said T’Rul. “Back off. _Now_.”

Though Somac had no family crest on display, he did have a blade at his hip which he drew. “Wait, I think I know. She’s the so-called defector who arrived here no long ago, looking for a home. A human who seems to think her spirit is Romulan.”

Quick to pull her own blade in the event she had to keep both her and Ael from harm, T’Rul held out an arm and stepped backward, attempting to guide Ael back towards the path that had originally led them to the field. They failed to get far, the other players, though few, attempting to box them in, keep them from moving. Ael adjusted her position in a hurry, standing back-to-back with T’Rul, in case anyone else within the group wielded a blade. She wanted no one to have an opportunity to plunge a knife into her back when couldn’t see it coming quickly enough to evade the strike.

“We have done you no dishonor,” said T’Rul loudly. “This attack is unprovoked. You had best back down before this situation turns ugly.”

Somac snorted. “As ugly as that human you’re protecting? What sort of Romulan are you; who in their right mind would offer their protection, their family crest to such a frail, pathetic excuse of an inferior species?”

“How would you like your tongue cut out?” T’Rul threatened. Ael didn’t think she was bluffing. “Neither Ael or I caused your group trouble, and while you have no lawful reason to unsheathe your blade, I have every reason to pull mine, to defend my sister from harm, our family against your dishonoring speech.”

“One of her kind has no honor!” Somac yelled. “And to call her sister?” Somac spat at the ground. “Disgusting. What sorry excuse for a Romulan would adopt such a creature into their family, tainting its reputation?”

During Somac’s insulting tirade, Ael’s cheeks reddened profusely in both anger and upset, and though she knew she stood no chance of putting an aggressive Romulan down on the ground, it didn’t stop her from whirling around, launching herself right at Somac.

“How dare you insult my father!” Ael hollered, attaching to Somac for barely three seconds, unable to land even a feeble blow before being tossed unceremoniously to the ground. Cruel laughter filling her ears, Ael slowly sat up, shaking her head against the impact of the rough fall.

Without further warning, Somac struck out, T’Rul evading easily thanks to the training instilled into her over the years at her father’s teaching,

“You just made a costly mistake,” T’Rul promised. “Behaving like a bully is one thing, threatening the lives of the daughters of a High-Born, of a Tal’shiar general is a different matter altogether. How incredibly stupid you are, that hearing the words “Tal’shiar” doesn’t immediately change your expressions from nasty and threatening to filled with fear and uncertainty.”

Again, Somac insisted no one of high status, rank or caliber would ever associate with humankind especially not one in possession of all their faculties, and then he slashed at T’Rul with his blade, gripping it in a manner that told he had little to no training. Another frontal assault forced T’Rul to move further away from Ael who now lie curled up in the dirt, encircled tightly by the group of four. T’Rul bristled in anger when the toe of Vrina’s expensive leather boots came into harsh contact with Ael’s side.

 _You’re next, you loathsome creature_ , T’Rul thought, uncharacteristically violently. “Hurt that girl and you and your families will eternally regret it!” This time, it wasn’t a bluff. On the ground Ael lie, arms over her head, shielding both it and her face from merciless blows aimed at her downed, defenseless person.

Somac flashed a cruel grin, “Oh, I would be far more concerned about your own well-being,” he said, once again swiping at T’Rul with reckless abandon.

“Speak for yourself,” she said, noting further how Somac’s stance, like the hold on his blade, spoke of inexperience in actual training. Blocking an incoming fist aimed squarely at her face, parrying yet another reckless thrust of Somac’s blade, T’Rul made sure to keep moving.

“Stop moving and fight, coward!”

 _You truly are stupid indeed if you expect me to stand still long enough for you to cut me_ , she thought. “This has gone far past long enough,” T’Rul stated firmly, making a move the next time Somac lunged forward, blade ready to maim. A quick sidestep, the heel of her palm swiftly striking Somac’s forearm hard enough to bruise, enough to loosen the already haphazard grip on the deadly weapon. A quick, painful application of a joint lock loosened Somac’s hold on his blade completely, the thing falling to the ground, T’Rul grappling him down to the grass and dirt to join it.

Crying out in pain, Somac struggled, spewing threats all the while. They halted, replaced by a pained yell when T’Rul effectively, quickly removed Somac’s shoulder from its socket. Dazed and in agony, Somac ceased struggling, reduced to whimpering.

“That really was a pathetic display of prowess,” T’Rul commented. “Now, get up,” she hissed into Somac’s ear, hauling the older boy up to his feet. Somac grit his teeth against the white-hot pain radiating from shoulder to fingertip, chin raised high when T’Rul’s Honor Blade rested against his throat. A thin rivet of emerald blood trailed down from beneath the blade’s edge, deep enough to cut, to warn, not enough to seriously damage. “Call off your dogs,” T’Rul commanded. “ _Now_!”

“All right, enough!” Somac begged. T’Rul refused to loosen her grip. “Leave the girl alone,” he called over to his companions in a voice much higher in octave than before. Without a word, the formation around Ael broke up and moved back, no one daring to touch her, Vrina turning her back altogether. Just looking at the human huddled on the ground in the dirt disgusted her.

“Ael, are you able to stand?” T’Rul called over, Ael unresponsive, paralyzed by fear. “If she’s been injured, I swear to Air and Fire I’ll take your damn head off.”

The third time T’Rul called out, Ael swallowed down the fear and sat up. Slowly, she tested her extremities, wincing at their soreness from being tossed to the ground like a ragdoll, kicked only the Elements knew how many times while she was down for the count. Everything hurt. Carefully, Ael got to her feet, adopting a wary, submissive posture, worried about being shoved down again, beaten, killed, if she dared move an inch.

“Come to me, Ael,” T’Rul instructed calmly, gripping Somac so tight he could barely move.

Ael couldn’t even manage a stutter, shaking her head instead, refusing to budge. “Were none of you taught the value of Romulan honor?” T’Rul demanded upon Ael’s inability to move.

“A _hevam_ _has_ no honor,” said Vrina disdainfully, turning to eye Ael with contempt.

At that, the edge of T’Rul’s Honor blade sank further into Somac’s flesh; no matter how the honor of her family had been insulted, her sister harmed, T’Rul wanted to instill the fear of every Element in existence into Somac and his group rather than kill him.

“Hold your tongue, Vrina,” one of the other girls hissed through her teeth. “She’ll slash Somac’s throat wide open if any of us utters another word more.”

From her spot rooted to the ground, hunched up and still, Ael prayed silently, fervently that T’Rul really wouldn’t take a life in front of her. Again, T’Rul called to her. This time, Ael slowly moved forward an inch at a time, hesitantly, every now and then tensing tight as though she expected someone to jump her from behind.

T’Rul appraised Ael’s physical condition, frowning at the sight of her sister limping ever so slightly, unimpressed by the scrape down one cheek, blood dribbling down from her lip, half of Ael’s face smudged with dirt that also stained her clothing. “Limping, bloody lip, scrapped cheek, and arm; who knows what else is wrong where I may not be able to see at first glance.”

“Do you want an apology?” Now, Somac howled in desperation. “You have it!”

“Oh, so now you think an apology will save you,” said T’Rul. “At this point, it might not be enough to fully restore the honor that was so carelessly insulted and trod upon.”

Finally, Ael came to stand at T’Rul’s side, head low, gaze sweeping nervously from side to side. “Can we, um, just go home?” Ael shakily touched T’Rul’s arm.

A moment’s pause, tension thick in the air. Finally, T’Rul said to Somac, “Consider yourself fortunate to have both your head, your tongue inside it, still attached. Next time you wish to carelessly pull your blade on another, insult the honor of higher status in the Empire than yours, I hope to Air and Fire you remember this incident. However, you will have to find yourself a new blade.” Releasing her grip, T’Rul shoved Somac away, bending to retrieve the older boy’s fallen weapon near her feet, tucking the blade into her waist sash for safe keeping. “Consider your injuries, both dislocated shoulder, and bloody neck as payment for not only the dishonor but the assault on our lives. Now, you and your friends get out of my sight and pray to whatever Gods you believe in that we _never_ cross paths again.”

Turning towards town, the group hastily retreated, T’Rul watching five minutes past when they slipped out of sight, in case someone dared be dumb enough to double back and invoke further challenge.

“Come, let’s get you home,” said T’Rul once she’d checked Ael for any injuries that could be called major. Thankfully, there were none.

“W-were you really going t-to kill him?” Ael stammered, berating herself for behaving so weakly. “I-I thought you-”

“For honor’s sake,” said T’Rul seriously, “I could have. They can be thankful I did not. Unless it becomes absolutely necessary, I never wish to take a life.”

“I-I can’t believe h-how weak I am,” said Ael sadly to the ground. “More than anything, I wanted to defend Daddy, and I tried but all I could do was lie in the dirt like a coward.”

With a sigh, T’Rul admitted, though gently, it to be a good thing. “Though you are Romulan in both mind and spirit, biologically, however, you are not. Even the smallest female within that grouping easily had three times your overall strength. It pains me to say it, Ael, truly; curled up on the ground in the dirt was the best, safest place you could have been.”

Ael hated how T’Rul spoke the truth, hating it all the more when she looked down at her hands to see scarlet-toned scrapes along a creamy complexion smeared with dirt. Both traits, the debilitating fear, the inability to defend herself, her father’s very honor; why did everything about her have to be so damn un-Romulan!

“I knew I would never be accepted by most,” Ael began, stopping to watch a large-winged bird glide by on a breeze. “But the one thing I never expected was for someone our age to try and kill me.” And then Ael turned toward T’Rul, eyes desperate, pleading. “What just happened is why I so desperately why I want to change how I look. Hiding my ears with my hair isn’t enough, T’Rul, what just happened proves that. Until I can look the way I’ve always felt, like a flesh-and-blood Romulan, nothing will ever change. Not even you can deny it.”

T'Rul wished she could.


	19. Chapter 19

_Beginnings are always the best place to begin, so let me tell you, then, Journal, of the beginning of yesterday; the beginnings of another way in which my life saw great change about to come, lifting my mood from down in bitter despondence to so carefree and high I could have soared through the heavens like the birds._

_After two days of nursing sore ribs, and a handful of purplish-greenish-blue with a hint of sickly yellow colored bruises scattered around my body; after two days of skipping most meals, sobbing in bed with the curtains drawn tight, crying out for a father who couldn’t hear my desperate pleas for his aid, I ventured out of my room to greet the day._

_“It is good to see you out of bed, and your room,” T’Rul said when she saw me quietly enter the kitchen, one morning, shortly before breakfast. “How are you feeling today, a’rhea?”_

_“OK, I guess,” I answered honestly. “Maybe a little numb, missing Daddy.”_

_A gentle hand settled on my arm when I sat at the table, next to T’Rul, instead of my usual spot, to the left of the head. “Three more days including today and he will be home again.”_

_A little nod from me and I proceeded to help T’Rul get breakfast together, hot grains with fruit and a touch of fresh cream on the morning menu again. We mostly ate in silence. T’Rul had this strange expression on her face once we’d eaten as she sat back at the table, sipping her morning tea. It looked like a mixture of determination and – I wasn’t sure what. Like she had something to tell me. Part of me wanted to ask her, “What is with that weird look on your face?”_

_If it concerned Daddy, if something catastrophic had happened and she knew, I know she would have died before ever keeping it from me. Since I was reasonably sure the odd expression, her quietness had nothing to do with Daddy, I didn’t pry._

_“Let’s go for a walk,” T’Rul said about a half hour after breakfast. Almost begrudgingly, I changed out of my sleepwear - I’d been using one of Daddy’s shirts to both sleep and lounge around my bedroom in – slipped into some generic black trousers, a cerulean blue tunic, and collected my shoes from beside the door._

_Outside to greet the day we went. A handful of puffy white clouds drifted lazily along, the sun shone down warm and bright, a little breeze swept through the trees, ruffling the leaves, swaying the branches. I thought one of the clouds looked a little like a cat, pointing it out to T’Rul who not only agreed but pointed out that the cloud behind the “cat” looked a bit like a playful kitten, bouncing along in its mother’s wake._

_We walked along the normal route towards Leinarrah, taking a detour through a section of wooded trails that led out into a clearing, the same one which housed passion flowers in bloom. Reddish-orange and goldenrod, petals unfurled, slightly curled under, their scent sweet, mildly floral, pleasing. It had only been a ten-day since we’d seen them. There didn’t seem to be as many this time. At least there were some. I lowered myself down into a cluster of the fiery blossoms, allowed my body to fall back on the grass, and stared up at the clouds._

_T’Rul joined me a moment later, idly twirling a discarded stem from a wilted passion flower in between her fingers. Watching the clouds drift by overhead, no longer caring what animals they might look like if only I took the time to imagine what they could be, I allowed my thoughts to empty. There was no worry about Daddy, no worry for myself for being outside the safety of the home’s walls, no thoughts on language lessons, study, music. Nothing. I just laid there and stared up at those clouds until they drifted out of sight, replaced by new clouds, not as white as the last batch; they really didn’t look like much of anything either, imagination or no._

_At one point, when I thought I might doze off, T’Rul said, from her spot beside me on the grass, “You still desire to have your appearance altered, yes?”_

_The urge to fall asleep amongst the flowers faded away in a hurry. I sat up, so did she. We looked at each other, though my eyes were considerably wider, and then I tipped my head, furrowing my brown in curious question._

_“Of course. Why?” She wouldn’t bring up such a topic unless she had found a way to achieve what I thought to be an impossibility. I could feel my heart beating frantically in my chest even though I held my breath, waiting for T’Rul to provide me with an answer._

_“The day after the confrontation near Leinarrah, when you said little would change without being able to appear as you feel in your heart; those words forced me to do a bit of thinking. Quite a good deal of it actually.”_

_“Are you saying there may be a way for me -” I couldn’t think of how to finish that sentence. Even if she had found a way, surely, there would be some sort of law against someone like me altering her appearance._

_“Possibly,” T’Rul said after a moment’s pause. “After I spent nearly a full day thinking about it, I placed a call to a very dear friend of fathers. This individual, a woman named Tehlina, runs a clinic not far from the city. She is equipped to make cosmetic changes to an individual if they so choose. It is actually a simple procedure that would take a little under an hour.”_

_“She would help me?” I asked, eyes still wide. “That’s allowed? You’re sure? If the praetor finds out, he’s not going to make me disappear or anything?”_

_At this, T’Rul chuckled. “No, Ael, there is no danger of that happening.” Daddy had said the same thing to me, days ago. “You are Father’s responsibility now; the praetor no longer has a say in what becomes of you. Under normal circumstances, it might have been extremely difficult to find a hospital or clinic to alter your appearance in any way. Tehlina needed little convincing. However, she would like to speak with you. I told her we would be in contact within a day or two.”_

_Unable to blink, I sat there for what felt like another hour, staring off into space. What would Daddy think of me for changing the way I appeared? I didn’t bother to ask T’Rul that one; I had a feeling he’d be happy. Would gaining some points on my ears, delicately placed ridges on my forehead make my life all the better or would strangers on the street continue to stare at me, wondering why I appeared the same yet out of place at the same time._

_Either way, to me, the change would be worth it._

_All at once, I jumped to my feet, reaching down to grasp T’Rul’s hand to pull her upright. “Can we go home and put a call through now?”_

_The second T’Rul said “Of course”, I became a young lady on an urgent mission. I practically ran out of the passion flower filled clearing, back in the direction of home, where yet another dream might be about to come true._

_We returned home in what had to be record time. T’Rul headed to the call unit to place the call. I took a few minutes to splash some cool water on my face and ran a brush through my disheveled hair._

_“Ael.” The sound of my name as it floated down the hall, into my room, quickened my pulse. This was it! I hurried down the hall as quickly as I could, pausing before the door to tug down my shirt and straighten my posture. A little pep-talk, deep breath in, and I stepped into the room and over to the call unit, taking in the sight of the person who just might be able to lend a hand in helping my outward appearance match my soul._

_An older woman of perhaps Daddy’s age, maybe one hundred and fiftyish or so sat behind a modest-sized desk. Other than a PADD on the desktop, it was otherwise clear. It reminded me a lot of Daddy’s desk, as did the way this woman – Tehlina – sat behind it: Posture tall, hands clasped neatly, resting on the desktop. Tehlina offered a warm, genuine smile, a rare thing from Romulan to a biological human. Her hazel eyes showed intrigue, curiousness, no trace of the hostility I’d come to expect from strangers on the street. Slowly, I began to relax under Tehlina’s gaze, allowing her to appraise me without fear of immediate judgment._

_“Jolan’tru,” I said in a soft, hopeful voice. “T’Rul told me, um, that you might be able to help me.”_

_“Indeed so,” said Tehlina in a voice softer than I’d expected. “What is your name, my dear?”_

_I stood a little taller when I said, “Ael”, proudly._

_“Very good,” she said with a nod. “A lovely name that is not often heard. Now then,” she continued, right to the point, “T’Rul tells me of your wish to make a few aesthetic changes. Is that correct?”_

_“Yes, ma’am,” I said, nodding emphatically. “I’ve wanted to alter my appearance for several years, but back on – It wasn’t really a possibility where I came from.”_

_“Of that, I do not doubt. T’Rul has informed me of several incidents that have taken place since your arrival to the homeworld, so I can understand your desire to “fit in”, as it were.”_

_“While fitting in, presenting as the masses would definitely help things go smoother for me, it’s really about my outward appearance matching how I feel deep down. Every morning when I look in the mirror, I don’t see who I’m supposed to see. I see a human girl, weak, frail, someone whom the world despises without a second thought. I would give anything to look in that mirror and see the real me gazing back instead of the body my soul was wrongfully placed into at birth.”_

_Tehlina_ _, as much as she could, understood. Her and T’Rul had likely already had more than one lengthy conversation regarding me and my unique situation. We spoke a bit more over the next half hour and then decided on a day for the procedure. Tomorrow._

_And that was yesterday._

_Another sleepless night. This time, for a much happier reason. I’ve already bathed and dressed even though it’s barely fifth hour. Now, I think I’ll head out to the gardens and greet the sunrise on my favorite moss-covered rock, say good morning to Daddy even though I know he can’t hear me, stare at my reflection in the pond and bid a not so fond farewell to the human face staring back._

_For the first time in forever, I am going to feel whole.  I can’t wait!_

_*****_

“Ael, it’s time to leave for the clinic.”

Trembling with excitement, Ael bounded down the hall. “I’m ready!” Face flushed pink, she pressed her hands to her cheeks. “I-I feel so nervous, elated at the same time.”

“I don’t blame you. This is a rather large change.”

“Still, I shouldn’t be this nervous, should I? It feels like I have about a hundred _nhaidh_ fluttering around in my stomach.”

“Frankly, I would be surprised if you didn’t feel at least a little nervous,” said T’Rul with a hand on Ael’s shoulder.

“I keep wondering about the outcome, you know? If I’ll look exactly like I’ve always pictured, or if I’ll end up looking different.”

“Rest assured Tehlina will do an outstanding job.”

“Oh!” Ael suddenly burst. “I’ll need some anti-nausea medicine before we leave. We’re still taking your flitter, yeah?” _The last thing I need is to spoil my morning by throwing up in the flitter on the way to the clinic!_

“We are. Come, let’s get you some tablets to keep your stomach settled during the trip.”

Ael had never taken medicine so quickly in her life, bounding away to the flitter, taking her seat, trembling with nervous energy. It was a little difficult to fasten the restraints without help. During the journey to the clinic, Ael busied herself with staring into space, a carefree, anxiously happy grin on her face. Over and over she attempted to picture how she would look after Tehlina finished her work. Would the ridges on her forehead be slight, like those of some hybrids, or would they be sharp, pronounced, giving her the appearance of a Romulan native? Slowly, Ael’s fingers stroked idly down an ear, smile broadening at the knowledge they would soon be swept up into delicate points, marking her as something other than human. Ael stayed lost in her thoughts until the flitter descended, mildly startled when T’Rul gave her shoulder a little shake.

“Oh, we’re here already?”

“Indeed. You seemed to be light years away during our journey.”

Ael told T’Rul where her thoughts had led. Her sister reassured the outcome would be nothing less than beautiful. Out of the craft and on solid ground, Ael turned toward the front doors of the clinic. Smoothing her hair over her ears, just in case, she drew in a deep breath, straightened her stance, and headed inside.

 _Breathe, you’ll be OK_ , she whispered internally. _You’re in good hands. Just think: In another hour or two, you’ll finally look as you’ve always wished._

The strong scent of sanitizing agent hit Ael like a ton of bricks. “Well, at least we know everything’s clean.” She looked around, surprised to see the main hall so quiet. “We’re not late, are we?”

“We’re a little early. Tehlina is likely finishing preparations for your procedure.”

“Correct.” Both young ladies turned to see Tehlina appear from a corridor to their left. “I had a feeling you would be arriving slightly ahead of schedule.

“Jolan’tru,” said Ael softly, unable to keep the nervously excited stammer out of her voice. Tehlina returned the greeting; Ael didn’t know what to say or ask next, suddenly silent, gaze on the shining white tiles beneath her feet.

“Someone is a little nervous,” said T’Rul, giving Ael a gentle nudge. Ael blushed and nodded.

Tehlina smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on Ael’s shoulder. “There is no reason to fear, my dear,” she said soothingly. “The procedure will be completed in less than one hour and will be without complication. Come; it is time to appear as you have always dreamed.”

With one last, reassuring look, Tehlina turned to lead the way towards the private room where Ael’s transformation would take place. Ael lingered a few steps behind, moving slower than she had earlier in the morning.

 _Daddy, I wish you were here,_ she thought. _I know you’ll approve, I just wish you could be here now. I’m so nervous. What would you say if you were beside me?_

After concluding her father would assure her Tehlina to be someone worthy of trust, as T’Rul already had, reminding her that some forms of nervousness shouldn’t be allowed to dissolve into worry, Ael quickened her steps to catch up.

 _He’s going to adore the change, I know it_ , Ael promised herself. _Now, let’s get in that room and let Tehlina do her thing._

Hopping up to sit on the exam table, Ael waited for something to happen, shifting due to the cold hardness of the bed beneath her rear. Closing her eyes to concentrate on stilling her thoughts further, Ael felt a gentle yet firm hand cup her chin. Turning Ael’s head this way and that, Tehlina studied her features, making mental notes which were soon transferred to a PADD. Ael cracked a little smile when she thought of her face as a canvas, Tehlina, the artist, one who would soon sculpt the most perfect features made just for her face.

From the moment she entered the clinic at her sister’s side to when she laid back on the table, Ael could have sworn it had been less than half an hour. An hour or less for the procedure, a short while after that until she woke and could gaze upon her reflection; Ael felt the fluttering of nhaidh in her stomach again. It felt like they were picking up speed.

“Everything will go smoothly,” said Tehlina, approaching with a hypospray. “Close your eyes, relax, take a deep breath. Soon you will gaze upon your reflection and see your true self.”

Green eyes fluttered closed, a deep breath filled her lungs, escaping gently through her mouth after a few seconds had passed. A soft, motherly voice asked if Ael was ready to proceed, the coolness of a hypospray pressing to her neck. The hypo hissed softly, releasing an anesthetic. Ael didn’t even make it counting backward from five, fading into a blackened void of unconsciousness before she could wonder once more if her father would be proud of her choice.

 

 

*****

**The world was black. My eyes felt heavy, I couldn’t see for the life of me. I certainly hadn’t felt so groggy in quite a while, like I was still teetering on the edge between unconsciousness and the waking world, fighting to break free of a dreamscape. Groaning tiredly, I shifted, attempting to roll a bit to my side, very nearly succeeding in falling off the biobed I’d forgotten I was on. That explained why it felt so firm, cold, nothing like the comfortable bed in my room back home.**

**A dull throbbing in my temples prompted me to press a hand to my forehead, at which point, I remembered where I was and exactly what happened. I allowed my fingers to linger on the new V-shaped ridge dead center on my forehead, moving them over the bumps, across the creases, memorizing every last detail. A tear found its way out from beneath still-closed eyelids, a smile broke out across my face. A single hand fell away from my forehead, moving down to an ear. I traced the curve upward with a single finger, laughing in delight when the curve didn’t round out but instead continued up until it ended in a point.**

**All at once I was clamoring to see what I had become. Attempting to push aside the sleepiness, I forced my eyes part way open, T’Rul instantly at my side, taking my arm, easing me into a sitting position.**

**“Easy now. Sit up slowly.”**

**“How do I look?” I asked. I sounded seriously sleepy. “Can I see?”**

**“Of course.” Tehlina came forward with a hypospray and pressed it to my neck. “This should relieve any residual tiredness”. Almost instantly, I felt better, able to open my eyes easily. Even the throbbing in my head ebbed away. With a pleased grin lighting her face, T’Rul presented me with a mirror.**

**“You look beautiful, Ael.”**

**Heart hammering away excitedly, I lifted the mirror, my eyes instantly tearing in response to my reflection. A human no longer stared back at me, a young Romulan lady, did. I pressed a hand to my mouth, unable to restrain a happy sob from slipping out. Tears of joy ran down my cheeks as I turned my head from one side to the other, examining both ears and forehead. The points on my ears were delicate, refined, the “V” shaped ridge on my forehead softly defined not as sharp or prominent as I’d been expecting. Never in my life had I felt more beautiful, even with parts of my hair suddenly sticking up.**

**“I-I’m finally me,” I stammered. Sliding down from the table I wrapped my arms around T’Rul and cried some of the happiest tears I’d ever shed. I even embraced Tehlina. “Thank you,” I said to both doctor and sister, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. “There aren’t enough words in any language to say exactly how I feel right now. This is a gift I will treasure throughout my life. Thank you, so, so much.”**

**Tehlina smiled and nodded her head. “You are most welcome,” she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Has your spirit found peace with what you now see in the mirror?”**

**“Yes,” I answered. At that moment, I felt complete, unable to resist the urge to peer back into that handheld mirror and smile. The joy, the pride that radiated outward forced my stance to involuntarily straighten. It felt wonderful to be whole at last.**

**After several more rounds of profusely thanking Tehlina, and T’Rul for taking the initial chance to make it all happen; after heaps of hugs and further staring into the mirror, my fingers roaming over my forehead, up and down the curve and point of each ear, I left the clinic with a spring in my step. Head held higher than ever, I made my way to the flitter. A strong breeze pushed my hair away from my ears, it took me a second to realize I didn’t need to scramble to hide my ears.**

**On the way home, T’Rul and I stopped by Leinarrah, having a late lunch at our favorite café, laughing and talking the afternoon away. We definitely had cause to celebrate. What made the day even better? We were sipping the last of our beverages when a stranger came up to our table, a young man of perhaps T’Rul’s age who looked at me the way he likely would have done at most other Romulans, but with a hint of something else in his dark brown eyes. T’Rul asked if we knew him, to which he replied no, he merely wanted to pay me compliment on the color of my hair, a rare, beautiful sight among citizens of the Empire. He may have also made a comment concerning the “delicate curvature” of my ears. I grinned like an idiot. Thankfully, T’Rul whisked me away before I could flush pink.**

**Once home, I made a beeline for the full-length mirror in my room and just stared. T’Rul eventually had to drag me away so I could focus on something other than my reflection. I tapped out a little to-do list on a PADD, making notes for the following day, what I could do to prepare for Daddy’s arrival home, the day after next. I’d been neglecting my language and music lessons both; I jotted down a memo to practice each for three hours at least as long as T’Rul could spare another afternoon. I spent most of the rest of the day out in the gardens, talking to Daddy even though he couldn’t hear, even thanking the Elements for all I’d been so graciously given.**

**From the next morning until Daddy’s return, everything passed by in a blur. Never had time seemed to run so fast. I woke feeling brighter, happier, taking to the streets with T’Rul for two early morning runs., concluding with greeting the sunrise on the hilltops. With T’Rul’s help, I immersed myself into my language lessons, working diligently until I flopped back in my chair nearly three hours later, exhausted from the effort but happy. I took to studying tablature both on my own and with T’Rul’s help, bowing each note and series of notes until they sounded just right.**

**Every waking moment saw me with a smile on my face; I even had two consecutive times, one evening, one morning, when meditation even felt effortless.**

**Life couldn’t have been better.**

**The day when Daddy was due to arrive home, sometime around midday, dawned beautifully clear. I went for a meander around the gardens before sunrise, enthralled by the colors of many of the flowers now in full bloom. I couldn’t wait for the afternoon to come, for Daddy to see the new and improved me.**

**“When do you think he’ll be home?” I asked T’Rul over breakfast. “Midday, yeah?”**

**“Supposedly,” she said over her teacup. “However, there is always the chance he may have to stay at HQ longer than originally planned.” My happy expression dimmed, to which T’Rul added, “He _will_ be home today, don’t worry. The latest I would expect him is sometime before last meal.”**

**I breathed a little sigh of relief. “Hopefully it’s sooner rather than later.”**

**“Personally, I think you may just go mad if you have to wait until last sun for Father to stride through the front door.”**

**Thanks to a call that came through shortly after morning meal, it appeared something in the universe wanted to see if I might lose a few of my proverbial marbles. Daddy would be tied up in meetings at HQ until late afternoon, possibly up until the evening hours. At least he would be home in time for last meal, and that was better than nothing.**

**“Well, I’ll have more time to devote to my language and music lessons.” I delved into both shortly after breakfast, practicing how I would greet Daddy upon his arrival home, even attempting to learn a simple song on the violin. I definitely wasn’t ready to be entertaining!**

**Retrieving my PADD from where it had been left on the window seat, I headed into the gardens, meandering along in the sun, tapping out a few notes over what I wouldn’t mind doing the following day or two, providing Daddy had the time, and going over a list for a few things I know we needed to get from the market. Daddy may not have been returning from a lengthy tour but I still felt like doing something special.**

**“Hmm, I wonder what he’d say about keroshback riding tomorrow,” I mused quietly beside the pond, lowering down to sit on the raised edge. Absently, I trailed my fingers through the cool water.**

**“He will likely say yes.”**

**Hearing T’Rul’s voice out of nowhere startled me to the point I nearly tossed the PADD into the pond. I caught it just in time. “Sorry,” I said when I’d recovered. “Apparently, when I’m deep in thought over something my ears forget how to hear footsteps.”**

**After a laugh, I showed T’Rul my plans for the evening. She agreed on a trip to the markets easily enough. “There are a few things I’ve been meaning to pick up anyway,” she said.**

**Later on, on our way to the markets, I felt inclined to ask T’Rul a bit more about Daddy. I may have been in his home for a good length of time already, been formally adopted as his daughter, but there were still so many things I didn’t know. Like, what were some of his likes and dislikes, favorite color, favorite meal; how did he enjoy spending most of his free time, what hobbies did he have? Simple things, mostly, and I felt I should know every last one.**

**“Let’s see,” said T’Rul, tipping her head a bit to the left. “You already know of his fondness for old war novels, his love for instruments like the rishudh, that he’s a bit of a master when it comes to games which involve strategy.”**

**I was torn between shuddering and laughing when I remembered the one and only time, I ever thought to challenge him to a game of Latrunculo. T’Rul laughed when I asked her if she’d ever dared to challenge him to a game.**

**“Oh, a few times,” she said. “That was more than enough. Now, khariat; that is much more my speed, as you would be inclined to say. Father has never been able to beat me at that.” Khariat, a game which bore a great resemblance to an old game from twentieth century Earth called Jenga, sounded much simpler, more fun than games like chess. We would have to play later.**

**“What else?” I asked curiously. “What are his hobbies?”**

**“He enjoys painting from time to time, landscapes, mostly. And I know he’s written a novel or two, mostly war tales, much like the ones he enjoys reading.” Not my cup of tea but nonetheless, I was interested in having a look. Well, once I could read the language.**

**Our conversation continued into the city and long after we’d landed and disembarked the flitter, even when strolling through the markets and selecting foodstuffs for dinner that night. I happily processed all the new, incoming information. Upon learning Daddy’s favorite food was feiiha, this awesome blend of seasonings, minced meat, mushrooms, and a delectable white sauce all encased in a flaky pastry, I became determined in rounding up the necessary ingredients to prepare it for dinner. With T’Rul’s help, surely, I could make it.**

**I also took the liberty of purchasing a burgundy covering for the table, one with striking gold trim. Burgundy is, apparently, Daddy’s favorite color. Back in the flitter, home within half an hour; purchases were put away in their proper places and I felt a bit of restlessness creeping into my body. We still had hours until Daddy came home. I’d already had a language lesson, a music lesson, gone to the markets; at least T’Rul had some studies to attend to. I could remember her saying something about neglecting her training the past two days, too. Suddenly, I felt myself curious about it, wondering if, maybe, I could start my own training regimen. It would certainly pass the time.**

**“I have to learn how to defend myself at some point,” I said, pleading my case to join her for a round of training.**

**“Oh, I very much agree. Training is very important, particularly if you aspire to become a soldier.”**

**“I do. Most everyone else on this planet probably started their training as soon as they could walk.”**

**“In some cases, yes,” she said seriously. I didn’t feel like asking if she had. “Here, go change into clothing better suited for a workout and I’ll show you a few techniques if you would like.”**

**A few minutes later and I was standing in a modest-sized square room with beige matting on the floor. Along one wall stretched a mirror, floor to ceiling. Other than a bench along one wall, a selection of staves in the far corner of the matted floor, the room had little in the way of furnishings.**

**I stepped carefully onto the mats, selecting a staff from the corner, nearly knocking myself in the face when I attempted to twirl it.**

**“I was about to ask if you knew how to use that particular weapon,” she chuckled. “You answered that question quite clearly.”**

**Poking my tongue out playfully, I stepped over to the mirror and surveyed my reflection. If I drew my stance tall, put my shoulders back a bit, lifted my chin; even with my stature so small I had the appearance of someone who wouldn’t take anyone else’s _hnaev_ , someone to leave alone unless otherwise invited. It made me smile a bit. Maybe a bit of training would bolster my confidence. T’Rul assured me it would. Eventually. **

**An hour of would-be training turned into more fun and games than otherwise assumed. For some reason, I felt a bit silly, probably due to the restlessness, stepping out into the center of the room and issuing a playful challenge.**

**“What in the Element’s names are you doing?” T’Rul asked curiously, tapping at the mats with the end of her stick. “Surely, you aren’t issuing a formal sparring challenge.”**

**“It would probably be embarrassing to lose to someone my size, I get it,” I said with a mostly straight face as she moved to stand opposite me.**

**“Really?” With a smirk, before I could even begin to know what happened, T’Rul slipped the end of her staff behind my knee and pulled my leg right out from under me, depositing me on my butt, on the mat. “Would you care to repeat that?” Now, she leaned on her staff, grinning down at me.**

**“Repeat what?” Playing dumb, I got to my feet and made a show of brushing some imaginary lint from my tunic. “That,” I said, retrieving the staff from the floor, “is called me not being ready.”**

**“How about now?” This time it was my other leg that was pulled away from me, an indignant noise tumbling from my tongue when I unceremoniously ended up right back down on the floor.**

**“Stop that!” I protested with a laugh.**

**“My apologies.” Barely holding in a snort of laughter, T’Rul helped me back upright. I eyed that staff of hers warily. “I thought you hinted at being able to best me in sparring. Yet, you are unable to stay on your feet for more than a few moments at a time.”**

**“Oh, if we had more time down here; if you gave me more than a second to prepare, I’d show you all right,” I grinned.**

**“Perhaps we should wait until Father’s return,” she said with a smirk. “This is certain to be a spectacle that would amuse him.” A second later and her expression changed to allow for a broader smile of amusement. “Now that I think about it, you know what would be amusing, dear sister?”**

**“I’m afraid to ask.”**

**“It would be an amusing sight to watch you attempt to spar with father.”**

**I involuntarily winced. “That would be painful. I mean, he’s easily one hundred and thirty years old than I am, is a foot and five inches taller than me, and is built pretty solid. Oh, and he has probably been in some form of training since he could walk. He’s also a general who’s been in the military since he was twenty.” I made another face. “And then there’s the whole “Romulans and three times stronger than humans” thing. I think you just want to see me tossed across the room.”**

**“Well, you are Father’s “winged one”, yes?”**

**“That doesn’t mean I can fly!” Any second now and I would collapse in a fit of giggles. “And now you’re picturing it,” I yelped indignantly. “I know that look!” Silence.**

**“I think I’ll suggest it to Father when he gets home.”**

**“Okay, you do that then,” I said, straightening my stance and nodding my head in some sort of confirming gesture.**

**T’Rul put a hand over her mouth to hide the smile. “It would certainly be an amusing sight.”**

**“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered good-naturedly, continuing to play for another short while, ending up on my rear more times than I cared to count. After I worked through my restlessness, learning one or two beginner’s stances and movements, I moved to take a seat on the bench along the sidewall while T’Rul went through a series of forms and maneuvers, amazed by the fluidness and grace, the strength and beauty of the intricate moves she performed. Part of me had to wonder if she wasn’t showing off just a little.**

**We soon parted company, T’Rul heading away for a shower, me, for a long soak in the tub. An hour passed quickly, the water cool by the time I finally hopped out. For an hour after that, I fussed over my appearance. Usually, I took less than ten minutes. Buzzing around like a bee busy in a field of wildflowers, I went above and beyond to make myself the perfect picture of Romulan beauty. Well, as much as a five-foot-tall, fifteen-year-old can, anyway. At last, I turned toward the full-length mirror.**

**I sucked in a breath; I could only call myself stunning, something I could barely believe. The dress that I hadn’t worn since I’d brought it home still fit as beautifully as it had in the shop after its tailoring. The material felt cool, comfortable, hugging my teenage curves gently, making me appear at least a year older. I gave a little twirl in front of the mirror, the skirt flared out momentarily, quickly settling back into position over my legs, stopping an inch below the calf. A black choker encircled my neck, jade green studs rested in each earlobe. My hair, thanks to T’Rul’s help, had been swept up neatly on top of my head, secured with the silver clip I’d procured earlier in the week. A few stray tendrils of hair fell down and around my face, framing it. The sandals on my feet with the little wedge heel had me a little wobbly but all in all, I thought I was put together quite nicely. I certainly bore little resemblance to the human child who made her way to this world, to this home what now felt like a lifetime ago.**

**Unlike days before when I would stare into this mirror, hair disheveled, sad, uncertain eyes tired and rimmed with red, usually encased in one of Daddy’s tunics, a piece of clothing easily ten times my size; this time, I appeared radiant, confident. I looked the part of a High Born Romulan, the daughter of a prestigious general. Poised, noble, ready to take on the world; I was determined to believe I could.**

**I stepped out into the hall, nearly bumping headfirst into T’Rul who had been on her way to check up on me. “I think I’m ready,” I said. “How do I look? Stepping back, I did a couple of turns.**

**“Absolutely lovely.” Her head turned, so did mine; the sound of an approaching flitter brought an extra-large grin to my face, my feet began to side-step (not an easy motion in wedge-heeled sandals) and my heart felt like it just might beat right out of my chest in excitement.**

**“Daddy’s home!” I burst like a young, overly-excited child. I practically ran, sort of, to the front door, staring out expectantly. Enthusiasm barely under control, I watched the flitter land in the designated area out front, waited for Daddy to emerge and come striding up the walkway.**

**The second I saw Daddy, I nearly rushed through the door to greet him, but I held back. I wanted to wait until he was standing in the main hall before I made my appearance. I wanted to get my excitement under control and greet him in the native language, welcome him home again exactly as I’d been practicing so diligently. Just as I prepared to hurry a short distance away, I caught sight of a head of blonde hair. Great. He hadn’t managed to somehow lose Sela during whatever assignment he’d dragged her away on. The sight of her bothered me for barely a second. I wouldn’t allow her to sap away the happiness that filled my heart to the brim.**

**With an excited squeal, Daddy drawing closer to the front door, I scurried away, peeking out from around the corner at the end of the main hall. The door opened, T’Rul greeting him warmly, ignoring Sela who brushed past without a word, making her way down to the other end of the home, where her room was located.**

**“Where is Ael?” I heard Daddy ask.**

**“She will be along in a moment. I believe she is putting the finishing touches on a special surprise for you, though something tells me she should be along any moment.”**

**Her head turned, azure eyes staring down the hall, momentarily catching mine. Standing tall, composing myself, I stepped away from my hiding place. Attempting to move forward with all the grace I could muster, I held my head high, beaming positivity. The old Ael had gone; it was time to show Daddy the new and improved me.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Head held high, a radiant smile beaming on my face, eyes shining with confidence and joy, I made my way into the main hall. Daddy looked up, meeting my eyes, momentarily seeming to wonder where the scared-of-her-own-shadow human child he left behind a ten-day ago had vanished, a noble-looking young Romulan lady now in her place.**

**“Welcome home, Daddy,” I said smoothly in the Romulan language. I’d been practicing that one, simple phrase so diligently over the past two days that every last syllable rolled from my tongue as though I’d been speaking the language for years. I even thought I might be developing my own little accent, something kind of brogue-like.**

**Daddy’s gaze locked onto mine; it took him less than a nanosecond to see me, Ael, beneath my new exterior, what I’d become. Refined, noble, polished, wearing a beaming smile, confidence bolstered; this definitely wasn’t the winged one he remembered.**

**I stared up, waiting for him to speak. Reaching out he took my hand, his other gently cupped my chin and turned my head from one side to the other, appraising the new way my ears curved up into a little point, how my forehead now had a V-shaped ridge similar to my sisters. The disbelief in his eyes quickly turned to surprise interwoven with pride and joy. He actually gave a little gasp at one point, certainly a sound I’d never heard him make.**

**“Say something,” I pleaded with a laugh, settling my free hand atop his holding mine. I didn’t think the smile was ever going to leave my face. “Did I do well? I mean, is this OK? Oh, is it the dress? It’s too short, isn’t it?” Anything to make him say, well, something!**

**Daddy seemed at such a loss for words that all he did was pull me into a warm hug. It felt nice to hug him again. Finally, I pulled back, stared up adoringly and asked if I had done well.**

**“You have done well indeed, my winged one, and look quite lovely, refined.”**

**Feeling like my cheeks might burst from smiling so much, I hugged him again, saying, “Thank you. I’m glad it’s OK that I look a bit different from how you left me.”**

**“If I may inquire,” he said, looking between me and T’Rul, “how exactly did this change come about?” I think he was looking for the why, the how, and the who, and a couple of the answers weren’t any I particularly wanted to give.**

**“It’s a long story,” I said somewhat truthfully, needing a bit of time to think of how to explain while leaving out a couple of details I didn’t want to burden him with. “Could we tell you over dinner? I actually have a surprise for that too.”**

**“Another surprise; this is quite the homecoming.”**

**“Ten days away or a year; I wanted to do something special,” I said. “And speaking of special…” Stepping back, I turned a couple of slow circles, showing off the dress I’d picked up in Leinarrah.**

**“I take it this is the dress you had placed aside and tailored.”**

**“It is. Do you like it? It isn’t too short or anything?” I cast a quick glance at T’Rul who playfully refused to meet my gaze. She’d been teasing me off and on about the length of the garment since we’d gone to pick it up.**

**Daddy spent a good minute inspecting me, almost the way a commander might inspect a soldier. I think the length of his scrutiny had something to do with the smile T’Rul kept hiding behind her hand.**

**“It’s not that short!” I protested before he could speak. “An inch past my calf at least, it might even be two.”**

**“Should be four,” T’Rul muttered behind her hand.**

**“I heard that.” I poked my tongue out, momentarily losing my noble flair. “Playfulness aside, do you like it?”**

**Taking me by the shoulders, he said, “I adore it. Beautifully tailored, striking colors; you look very refined, Ael, noble. Every inch the way a High-Born young lady should look.” And then, with a little smile, he added, “Though I might have asked the tailor to leave at least another inch on your skirt.”**

**“Aside from the missing inch, you really do like it?” A nod. I barely resisted jumping up and down and clapping my hands like an overexcited child. “I’m glad.” The happy tears returned. “At first, I was a little worried about everything, some things more than the dress.” Reaching up, I brushed a hand across my forehead. “To have your approval means the world to me.”**

**“And I do approve. However, I am still very much curious as to how this happened.”**

**“Over dinner, remember?” I said teasingly.**

**Before anyone else could get a word in edgewise, the sound of something smacking down on a hard surface, a PADD meeting a desktop perhaps, grabbed our attention in a hurry. _Gee,_ I drawled to myself in sarcasm. _Whoever could that be_? Attempting to ignore it, though I think we were all curious as to what Sela’s reaction would be when she saw the new me, I launched into talking about the special dinner we were already on the way to preparing. **

**The sound of Sela’s boots on the beautiful hardwood drew closer. I did my best to peek out of the corner of a single eye.**

**“You’re going to go cross-eyed if you keep doing that,” T’Rul whispered.**

**“Might be worth it,” I whispered back.**

**Finally, when Sela sounded almost on top of us, I turned. So did everyone else. Gaze down, trained on a PADD, Sela stood there in the entryway to the main hall. Maybe she had something to show Daddy concerning whatever assignment he’d made her go on. Lifting her eyes away from the PADD, Sela opened her mouth to speak, closing it right quick when her gaze landed on me. At first, Sela seemed confused, her posture suddenly defensive, uncertain as she took two steps closer. I had to wonder if she thought another random child had somehow come into the family over the last ten-day. Trying not to grin at her, I held what I felt to be a regal, no-nonsense pose, chin high, looking right down my nose.**

**All at once, recognition hit. A pair of crystal blue eyes widened dramatically, narrowing in malcontent within seconds. I kept waiting for her to begin sputtering in anger.**

**_Go on_ ** **, I taunted with my stare, feeling as though I could handle the world. _Say something. I dare you_. Another minute more of staring at me and Sela turned abruptly on her heel and made a hasty retreat toward her room near the back of the home, all without saying a single word.**

**“That certainly went differently than I expected,” T’Rul admitted, folding her arms.**

**“Indeed,” Daddy agreed.**

**“No sputtering, no incessant whining, no inane accusations; are you certain that’s actually Sela you brought home?”**

**“Give her time,” Daddy said dryly. “I am certain Sela will corner me at some point before the evening expires, sharing unwanted thoughts, demanding to know what I plan to do about “this situation”, not that there is one to do anything about.”**

**“Then we’ll have to see to it you can’t possibly get backed into a corner this evening,” I said matter-of-factly. “T’Rul and I plan to spend the rest of the evening with you. If I can help it, Sela won’t even get close.”**

**“Much appreciated,” Daddy said. I doubted he was even remotely kidding. I almost asked why he bothered bringing her home. Instead, I asked if he thought of us at all during his time away, something I tended to wonder on a nightly basis, usually while trying to find my way to sleep.**

**“My daughters were never far from my thoughts,” he promised. “Always, I hoped you to be faring well in my time away.”**

**“Mostly,” I said. He probably knew his time away no matter how short hadn’t been the easiest on me. “Anyway, you’re home now, and we have something special planned for the evening meal.”**

**“Do tell.”**

**“Not a chance,” I said, leading him down the hall. “You get to change into something comfortable and head to the sitting room where a refreshing drink will be waiting on the table, along with your favorite book. We want you to relax while we prepare dinner. I’m sure you’ve been up since first sun.”**

**“While it is true that I have been awake since well-before first sun, the majority of my day has been spent in countless meetings and debriefings.”**

**“Oh, _before_ first sun,” I said, nudging him over to the staircase that led to his room upstairs. “Get comfortable, Daddy, that’s an order. Let us worry about dinner. We’ll keep Sela out of your way too. Promise!”**

**“Very well, my winged one. I will return in ten minutes to the sitting room.”**

**“Great!” Leaning up, I gave him a kiss on the cheek, another quick hug before pulling T’Rul along by the hand toward the kitchen.**

…

 

 

**After making sure Daddy was good and comfortable with his book, and a cup of ale; after making damn sure Sela wasn’t lurking around any corners, waiting to catch him alone so she could whine and moan about me, T’Rul and I got to work preparing the evening meal. Every now and then, I popped my head into the sitting room, just to make sure it was still Sela-free. A time or two, too, I couldn’t help but make myself at home in that oversized leather chair, cuddled up close to Daddy’s side, keeping him company for a few minutes while he read.**

**Once, I’d gotten myself a bit too cozy and nearly dropped off to sleep. T’Rul had to hoist me up from the chair and usher me back toward the kitchen to help. I suppose it was only fair. The dinner, the menu had all been my idea after all.**

**Since T’Rul was largely the better cook, I spent more time fussing over the dining room table than the stove. The new table covering, burgundy with gold trim, looked amazing. Plates and bowls, onyx black with silver trim, made their way to the table next. I thought they looked striking against the tablecloth. Crystal glasses found their way to the table next, fancy napkins in the purest white, beautifully polished cutlery; I’d even located some lovely ivory colored candles to stick in the center of the table. Even if they weren’t lit, they still looked nice.**

**All in all, it had taken me close to forty minutes to make the table look exactly as I wanted it to. Begrudgingly, I’d set the table for four. Hopefully, the fourth remained in her room.**

**Soon enough and I was back in the kitchen helping prepare the meal. The feiiha, as well as the herbed rolls,  were already baking in the oven, some vegetables roasting away in another. I busily mixed together a salad, paying special mind to leave out the bitter blue leaves that my palate simply couldn’t tolerate.**

**As I mixed, tossed, and ended up attempting to stir the salad in the bowl, I lapsed away into thought. Other things should have been first and foremost on my mind, but like it or not, Sela was currently front and center. Would she come to the table for last meal or stay holed up in her room? If she did venture out of seclusion, joining us at the table, would she stay quiet, content to shoot me nasty looks from time to time, or would the Earth-Romulan war begin all over again?**

**“I’ve abused you enough,” I mumbled to the slightly wilted-looked salad ten minutes later. Maybe a few bean sprouts scattered around would hide the sad-looking purple leaves.**

**“That poor salad,” said T’Rul from over my shoulder. I quickly added the aforementioned sprouts. “Lost in thought?”**

**“A bit, yeah,” I admitted.**

**“Are you worried about Sela?”**

**“A little,” I admitted. “I’m also a little worried about me; I suddenly feel like I’m overconfident, and I know that can sometimes buy trouble.” Fighting with Sela at the table a second time definitely wasn’t anything I wanted on the evening menu!**

**T’Rul agreed about overconfidence sometimes buying one a good deal of trouble, promising me I didn’t yet need to be worried.**

**“You will be just fine, a’rhea,” she reassured, giving me a little hug. “True, your confidence may have received a much-needed boost but you are nowhere near being cocky. Don’t worry yourself over Sela, and definitely, don’t allow her to goad you into anything foolish. If she dares give you any difficulty tonight, Father will quickly see to her royal highness being excused from the table.”**

**Suddenly, I giggled. T’Rul tipped her head curiously. “I call Sela “her royal highness” too, under my breath of course. She acts enough like a spoiled noble anyway.”**

**“Indeed,” T’Rul agreed dryly. “Anyway, I think mealtime will be uneventful. If she knows what’s good for her, she’ll sit quietly, mind her manners, and eat her meal without bothering the rest of us.”**

**Within a short time, T’Rul and I headed into the dining room to finish putting things on the table. I carried in a crystal decanter filled halfway with baby blue Kali-Fal, a smile lighting my face when I noticed a certain blonde woman absent at the table. The Elements were definitely smiling down on us this evening, providing she didn’t angrily stomp her way into the dining room once the food had made its way out. With luck, not that Romulans believed in such things, Sela wouldn’t show up to the table at all.**

**As luck, or whatever you wanted to call it, would have it, Sela didn’t show up for dinner. Not that anyone paid much mind to the empty seat or bothered to call her name down the hall to invite her in.**

**“You have outdone yourselves, ladies,” Daddy said when he entered the dining room and seen what we’d been up to over the last hour and a half at least.**

**“Ael put quite a bit of effort into the table,” said T’Rul while I took the liberty of filling Daddy’s glass with Kali-Fal.**

**“To be fair, T’Rul handled the harder parts of what I decided we had to make for dinner. I may or may not have accidentally tortured the salad”**

**We shared a laugh and sat down to eat, happily passing the platters and bowls between the three of us, Daddy appreciative of the fact T’Rul and I had prepared his favorite meal. It certainly smelled fantastic, but I thank T’Rul for that one! If not for her, I half-wondered if the meal would have been entirely edible.**

**“How did your assignment go?” I asked while cutting into the feiiha, salivating at the savory scent rising up from inside the flaky pastry.**

**“A great deal was accomplished, more than originally anticipated,” he said. I’d become used to simple answers regarding any time Daddy spent away from home and at HQ, in this case, a week away to who knew where. It didn’t bother me _too_ much. “Tell me about your week,” he said a minute later. “It seems some rather interesting things have happened during my absence.”**

**Though my face showed only a young lady enjoying her first taste of a new dish, inside, I momentarily felt terrified. I cast a little glance at T’Rul when Daddy wasn’t looking. She caught my eyes and nodded once. See, Daddy didn’t know the full reason why T’Rul decided to help me on my quest to have my appearance changed. We’d told him one thing, promised a longer story, not quite telling him the whole truth.**

**All those days ago, mostly because I pleaded my head off, T’Rul didn’t alert Daddy to the threat Taelis made against my life, and I know she never informed him about the incident involving watching a D’elo game that turned into something of a knife fight. A lie might just cost me and T’Rul later; I knew I would be absolutely livid if I had children and found out they concealed threats on their lives from me. What to do… I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to ruin Daddy’s first night home in a week or the meal T’Rul and I worked so hard to prepare. And I was tired of feeling like a burden.**

**Maybe we could skirt around the whole truth just one more time. What child always tells the whole truth to their parents anyway? Though I suppose telling myself that didn’t really ease all of the guilt.**

**Instead of launching straight into a story I hadn’t concocted in my head yet, and I doubted I could come up with much of one on the spot, I started small, and at least I told the truth about that.**

**“Well, honestly,” I began a bit hesitantly, “I spent the first few days just being numb, missing you quite a bit.” I added in that T’Rul had tried to help me meditate one evening. “After she tried to “poison” me with some herbal concoction of hers that smelled like lawn clippings in hot water.”**

**Daddy laughed at that. I told him about how I’d taken to meditating every day near the end of the week, though how, most days early on in his absence I just kept to myself, moped around, and slept a lot, usually in his bed. Now was the part I’d been dreading: Telling not quite the whole truth.**

**“T’Rul and I went for a walk one afternoon, up in Leinarrah,” I said, swallowing down a lump of unease. “There were a few strangers who didn’t exactly care for me being out in public. They knew I’m, well, you know.”**

**I went on to say that, after enduring some very uncomfortable stares and a bit of whispering, T’Rul and I headed on home. I neglected to mention the D’elo game, the knife fight or even the visit from Taelis the day before that all happened.**

**“After that happened, something inside just snapped. Like, I went from a girl who was already afraid, shy, wary of people to feeling completely despondent, knowing I would never be able to escape the stares, the whispers, knowing I would never fit in with the world around me until my outward appearance matched how I felt inside. I holed myself up in my room for about three days after that afternoon walk,” I admitted.**

**“And she was most stubborn about staying in there,” T’Rul chimed in a bit too playfully. “However, the time alone allowed me to do some thinking. It took me less than a day to realize Ael had a valid point.”**

**T’Rul went on to tell the story about how she’d contacted Tehlina. It was clear from Daddy’s expression he definitely knew her, that she was an old friend, exactly like T’Rul had told me. After speaking about the call she’d placed, the conversation she’d had, to the one she and I had with Tehlina together, I jumped back in to tell of the day the transformation had happened.**

**I felt like I lit up when I spoke of it, that perfect day when I changed from human to Romulan, as much as was possible. “When I first saw my reflection in the mirror; I’m not sure I ever cried like that before.”**

**“You were in tears before you saw,” T’Rul reminded.**

**“It’s true. When I started to regain consciousness, all it took was passing my hand over my forehead, tracing the new curve of each ear; it was enough to start the flow before Tehlina passed me the mirror. Daddy, I finally felt – _feel_ whole.”**

**Thank the Elements he not only understood my feelings but that he took the story as it had been told. I hated keeping anything from him. A niggling voice in the back of my mind prompted me to at least consider the idea of telling him the whole truth, later. Somewhat reluctantly, though kind of happily, I agreed. Thinking I might tell him before too long made me feel a tiny bit better about the whole thing.**

**As if sensing my internal struggle, T’Rul encouraged a bit of a chuckle when she said, “Personally, I think my dear sister has become a bit vain.” She gave me a wink. “I had to pull that girl away from every reflective surface of the house at some point or another. She must have spent an hour in the gardens one afternoon just staring into the pond.”**

**I laughed, pretending to admire myself in the back of a spoon. It felt good. “After everything, my self-esteem and confidence felt so boosted that I spent every waking moment trying to better myself. T’Rul and I went on walks every morning before first sun for example.”**

**“No running?” Daddy asked jokingly.**

**“I’m still more at the plodding stage,” I said, making a face. “I meditated more, took to spending hours a day on language lessons alone, devoting the same amount of time to music since I don’t have any official studies to work on otherwise. Oh, I even asked T’Rul a few things about you.” A curious expression found its way to me.**

**“What did you learn, my winged one?”**

**I began to tick off the things I learned on my fingers. “Let’s see. I found out you’re a master strategist especially when it concerns games like chess, you love old war novels, paint landscapes, and have even written some novels. Your favorite color is burgundy,” I paused to stroke my hand over the table covering. “And feiiha is your favorite food.” Now, I lifted my fork. “Is it OK? I meant to ask when we started eating.”**

**“It is quite good, Ael, thank you.”**

**“T’Rul helped. A lot,” I said over the rim of my water glass. “If she hadn’t, I’m not sure it would have been one hundred percent edible.”**

**Daddy tried to reassure me it would have been just fine. I didn’t _quite_ buy it, pleased he’d said it anyway.**

**“Oh, before I forget,” T’Rul said with a little smirk that had me staring straight at her. “Earlier this afternoon, when I decided to partake in a bit of training, Ael expressing interest in participating…”**

**“T’Rul, no,” I interrupted with a sheepish laugh, my cheeks pinkening.**

**“Oh, I’m telling him,” she promised. So, while I concentrated on my dinner, trying not to choke the times I started giggling, I listened to T’Rul tell Daddy all about my short time in the workout room with her, and how I spent most of it on my backside on the mats. “She kept insisting she could best me,” T’Rul continued playfully.**

**“She kept pulling my legs out from under me,” I protested.**

**“Guess where I learned it,” T’Rul said, inclining her head toward Daddy.**

**“Thanks for teaching her that.” I made a playfully annoyed face.**

**“Think nothing of it, Ael.” I found a different, still equally as annoyed face to make.**

**“There was one other thing that happened down there before I ran through a few forms on my own. Should I mention it to him, sister dear?”**

**“You’re going to anyway,” I muttered to a forkful of vegetables before sticking them in my mouth.**

**Off she went, proceeding to tell Daddy about how, down in the workout room, it came up that he and I sparring would be an amusing sight. I quickly interjected that I thought it would be painful. T’Rul snorted a little laugh into her cup.**

**“Despite her protests over how she would likely be “hurled across the room”, Ael had this gleam in her eyes. I think a part of her, no matter how small, thinks she could win if you were to spar.”**

**“Never in a million years,” I said. “For some wild reason, T’Rul isn’t going to be satisfied until she sees you toss me headlong across the training room.” I made him promise he wouldn’t. Since the subject of training had come up, I decided it was the perfect opportunity to ask about getting started with a proper training regimen. “I do want to be a soldier one day, and I’m already so far behind the rest of the world when it comes to preparation and training for the future. Learning to defend one’s self isn’t a bad idea either, especially for someone like me.”**

**Daddy seemed on board with the idea. “I will plan an appropriate training regimen for you, my winged one, something simple to start.”**

**“Simple is probably best for me, for now,” I agreed. Somehow, despite my feistiness, I really didn’t think I was ready to be sparring with anyone just yet.**

**A bit more chatter and mealtime concluded peacefully, Sela never once having shown her face in the dining room. After clearing the table, the three of us headed into the sitting room, Daddy asking T’Rul about Tehlina and how she was doing these days. It had been years since he’d last seen her.**

**Me? I was content to curl up beside Daddy in that oversized leather chair, lean against his shoulder a bit tired yet content while allowing my thoughts to drift away into a possible future. A future where I ran full-tilt toward whatever dreams I had, goals I’d set, determined to make the rest of my journey down life’s path one to be remembered by others, never forgotten.**

**As I began to drift off, the sound of boots loudly making their way down the hall made me smile**

**Nothing, _no one_ would ever keep me from becoming all that I, my family, believed I could be.**


	21. Chapter 21

A patch of warm, golden sunlight spreading across the middle of Ael’s bed woke her the following morning. Peeking open a single eye, she briefly turned towards the partially open curtains and stared out at what looked to be a beautiful morning. Stretching, yawning, sleepily getting to her feet, Ael went through her usual morning routine on the days she neglected to go for a walk before first sun. Preparing a warm bath, adding a generous palm full of floral-smelling bath salts that tinged the water pink, she settled in for a soak before breakfast.

Closing her eyes, steam swirling about from the warmth of the fragrant water, Ael’s thoughts slipped away, back to the previous evening. A smile came to her face. The way her father had been happily surprised at her transformation, his praise over how her skill with the language had improved even though she _had_ skipped several days of practice, how it had felt to feel him hug her tight after a ten-day away. Sela, after she’d caught sight of Ael’s appearance, how drastically she had changed over the course of a week; the hybrid woman had beat a hasty, angry retreat to her room near the back of the home, neglecting to show her face for the duration of the evening. A welcome surprise for everyone.

Shortly after dinner, a plate of what Ael could only conceive to be cookies appeared in the sitting room. Lightly crisp on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside; Ael thought they tasted sort of like spiced gingerbread, eating four of the delicious treats before she managed to stop her hand reaching for the plate.

Relaxed, happy to be spending an evening with her family, Ael dared to ask her father to teach her to play the Romulan version of chess. An hour later, thoroughly frustrated but giggling happily, Ael conceded defeat. Not even T’Rul who had been watching over Ael’s shoulder, reaching around her every now and again to nudge a piece in the right direction, had helped secure a victory.

“This is definitely _not_ my game,” Ael could remember saying. “One of these days, I’ll teach you a game called checkers. I think I would stand a chance at winning that, at least until you learned it.”

“How about we switch to something different?” T’Rul quickly retrieved Khariat blocks from another room, the game assembled in a minute. It didn’t matter if Ael teamed up with her father or everyone played as a separate entity; T’Rul won every last game.

After the laughter and games began to wind down for the night, Ael broached the topic of her language lessons, how she had skipped a few during the week, then began to fiercely apply herself, wondering if the intensity of her lessons could be amped up a bit. She hoped to be decently fluent within a full year’s time. Three hours a day at minimum, time spent out and about with her translator off would no doubt aid in making the transition to speaking Rhian full-time, easier.

“I’ll have to devote a full day to keeping my translator off,” thought Ael aloud as she vacated the tub. “Oh, I’ll have to ask Daddy about keroshback riding today.” She dried and dressed, donning a pair of dark blue trousers, and black tunic with sky-blue accents. “Good enough for a day on the back of anything equine. Oh, almost forgot my translator.” Stroking the bare spot on her wrist, Ael stepped over to the nightstand to collect her “bracelet”, finding it missing.

“Uh-oh,” she breathed quietly. As per usual these days, Ael took her translator off to sleep, the thing always on her bedside table, remaining functional, just in case. Every morning, usually after her bath, she would snap the device around her wrist and head down to breakfast. A quick check behind the nightstand yielded only a purple, opaque candy wrapper collecting dust. Under the bed? Nothing. Bathroom vanity? Desktop, one of her desk drawers, maybe the bureau? Not a trace.

“This is _not_ happening to me,” she said, frantically scurrying around the room. “I’m not ready to lose that little piece of technology, not yet.”

Ael was in the midst of searching beneath her bed for the third time when she stopped, sat back on her heels and clapped a palm to her face. “Daddy took it,” she mumbled into her hand, recalling a bit of their conversation from the evening before, regarding exactly how long it might take for her to become fluent in the language.

_“It will help you to keep your translator off. At some point, fluent or not, permanently. It does you no good to speak in Rihan for an hour or two, only to reactivate your translator after the lesson and revert back to Federation Standard. Doing so is causing confusion. You need to begin speaking in Rihan only, thinking in it, writing in it; It needs to be your predominant language. It will be no different than a child learning to speak for the first time, but it will ultimately serve to help you learn more quickly and, quite possibly, more efficiently. You have done well, my winged one, there has been much improvement in the past ten-day, but this is the next step to assuring that you ultimately reach the goal you wish to achieve.”_

Soon after, Ael had gone to bed, Movar slipping soundlessly into the room once she’d fallen asleep, lifting the device from the nightstand, and then slipping back out again, his daughter dead to the world and none the wiser. It wouldn’t do any harm to see how even half a day would go, and Ael did wish to learn faster.

“Well,” she said, rising to her feet, no longer as confident about the day as she once had been, “I guess I’ll figure things out as I go.” At least she wouldn’t have to do much talking from the back of a kerosh. Ael hoped she could communicate well enough to get her wishes across.

Hesitantly, she stepped out of her room, made her way up the hall. Ael came into contact with T’Rul on her way to the dining room, flagging her down. _I wonder if Daddy told you?_

T’Rul had been forewarned, speaking carefully, simply when she saw her sister’s uncertain expression.

“Jolan’tru,” she said, Ael easily recognizing the standard greeting. “Gaenoh?”

 _Breathe, it’s OK,_ Ael consoled herself quietly. _Take your time_. “Fvaeihh, uh, urrhaa,” she said a little too quickly, flashing her naked wrist and pointing desperately to the spot her translator usually encircled. “Hia. Solaere.” _Yup, speaking in single word questions and answers. I’m desperate!_

T’Rul nodded in understanding and motioned for Ael to follow her to the dining room. “Di’Ranov,” she called out. “Daetra.”

 _Please, keep speaking simply_ , Ael begged silently, staring up at Movar when he emerged from the dining room. “Eneh,” she began, struggling to remember how to speak. “Fvaeihh vikra?” The response that followed was one Ael could barely make sense of. “Riila,” she said, hoping that she had remembered the right word in her frazzled state, breathing a sigh of relief when Movar repeated himself to her much more slowly.

“I’m too frazzled,” she said in her native tongue. “I-I don’t understand.” She silently watched Movar speak to T’Rul. The older girl nodded and headed into the dining room to give Ael and Movar some privacy.

“Hrian dii-ya solaere,” she said, giving Ael a pat on her shoulder before disappearing from sight. 

Folding her arms, Ael said sullenly, “Optaere amael.” Maybe if she pouted a little… “Eneh, nniehv amael.”

“Au’rh nniehv,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Ael released a great sigh and unfolded her arms. Her translator would not be returning to her wrist until later in the evening at least.

 _What good am I going to be to anyone if I can’t communicate properly_? “I’m not ready you know,” she mumbled.

Movar surprised the daylights out of her when he said in perfectly clear English, “You _are_ ready, Ael.”

“Y-you know Federation standard?” Ael stammered, eyes wide.

The more she thought about it the more it made sense. A prestigious military general, one who held substantial influence within the political arena; why _wouldn’t_ he be well-versed in other languages?

“For well over ninety years,” he confirmed with a nod.

“So, why did you take my translator? I remember what you said last night, about it being a good idea to start keeping my translator off and all, but giving it up _now_? Do you really think I’m ready for that?” Ael felt her once steady confidence in her language abilities, waning.

“I would not have taken it if I thought you incapable. I know that it will not be easy, my winged one, but I would like to see how you do for today. If you are not yet comfortable with speaking, it is all right. The only thing you must do is listen. You are young,” he added, squeezing her shoulder gently. “And the young tend to have less difficulty when it comes to learning an additional language quickly, and you have been learning exceptionally well.”

“I guess so. I _do_ trust you, Daddy. And I want to believe you when you say that I’m ready for this…” She sighed. “Are you at least going to be home today?”

Another nod. “I was thinking of taking you and T’Rul into the city for the afternoon if you wish to go.”

Though the idea of wandering the sights of the city with her father and sister held appeal, Ael couldn’t help her thoughts as they shifted to the possibility of keroshback riding. She had entertained such an idea only the day before.

 _It would be better than the city, anyway,_ she thought. _Down in the capital, I would likely become severely overwhelmed. There would be far too many voices to take in, no doubt many overlapping others. People using slang terms or just speaking too fast, probably even a mixture between low and high Rhian, too._ Ael shared her thoughts with her father.

Movar nodded agreeably. Ael released a relieved sigh. “We will depart within two hours of the conclusion of the morning meal,” he promised. “You will do well today, Ael,” he added reassuringly. “I have great confidence in you and your abilities.”

“Thanks, that means a lot,” she said honestly. “I’ll do my best for you, always. Could you promise me something? If I’m legitimately struggling, becoming far too frustrated, would you switch back to Federation Standard and help me figure out where I’m having trouble? Taking larger steps to learn the language is one thing, but to be completely at a loss for how to communicate with you and T’Rul?” The idea of it bothered her.

The promise came easily “Of course, my winged one. Keep in mind, however, that I would never ask more from you than what you are capable of giving. You will do well today. Trust yourself; have faith in your abilities.”

With a nod, Ael, at her father’s side, turned to head into the dining room. Normally, breakfast was a modestly quiet affair. Today, it was positively lively. Eating her bowl of grains and fruit quietly, Ael took in the conversation between her father and sister, attempting to translate without having to think too deeply about each word being said. At least they were speaking slowly, simply, giving her adequate time to understand. Once or twice, Movar attempted to bring Ael into the conversation. Both times, Ael responded as best she was able, earning a nod of approval from her father.

Thankfully, Sela never showed her face at breakfast; Ael was glad she didn’t have to spend the morning listening to cruel mumbling she could barely understand.

 _OK_ , Ael thought to herself shortly after breakfast, attempting to keep her thoughts purely in Rihan, switching back and forth between it and English the times she wound up stuck. _I am going to try and say something reasonably coherent to T’Rul. Elements, help me._

Finding T’Rul was easy enough, engaging her in conversation, wasn’t. “So, are you looking forward to going riding?” Ael attempted to ask. T’Rul fixed her with a strange expression. Ael bit her lower lip worriedly. _Elements, what did I say? Did I confuse some syntax, put emphasis on the wrong syllable?_

Ael gathered her thoughts, took a deep breath, and tried again, speaking in the simplest way she knew how. After a moment of apparently deep thought, T’Rul’s confusion gave way to understanding.

“Ah, yes, I am. Are you?”

“Definitely. Have you ridden before?”

This time, T’Rul understood what Ael meant almost right away, nodding to confirm. Now, came the interesting part: Ael had to remind T’Rul she needed anti-nausea medication before setting a single toe inside the flitter for their journey.

 _I can do this_ , Ael thought. _I can get my need across to T’Rul. I don’t need to run to Daddy about it_. Now that she knew he spoke Federation Standard it was going to be difficult not to run to him every time she was confused, begging that he speak in a non-native language just to help her get by.

Ael almost felt like she cheated by the simple fact that both her father and sister remembered her need for stomach settling medication before she ever tried to voice the request.

At last, after hanging out with T’Rul for an hour, attempting to converse, sometimes succeeding, other times not so well, it was time to go. Ael felt her spirits lift. A day in the presence of anything even remotely equine was sure to be a good one.

 

 

…

 

_OK, you can do it. Open your mouth and say something._

Lively conversation enveloped the flitter, designed simply, purely to entice Ael to join in. Even T’Rul’s continued glances seemed to say, “Do not be afraid to speak up, join in. Do your best, Ael, that’s all we ask.”

So, she did.

Like it was nothing more than a typical day out with her family, Ael jumped right into the thick of the conversation and stayed there. A time or two, her speech seemed flawless, understood right away. Other times, Ael had to repeat herself at least three times each, changing a word, an accentuation here and there, even changing the sentence structure altogether.

 _Don’t rush, you’ll get it_ , she inwardly soothed, laughing at something T’Rul said, beaming a wide smile when she realized she’d understood the joke without having to put too much emphasis on thinking about what was said.

Ael felt tired from the effort, yet happy when the flitter landed and they disembarked. A half mile up the road and spacious pastures of blue-green grass stretched and rolled in all directions. Ael stared in awe, grateful that, this time, her expression could do the speaking for her. Her steps quickened without much thought; T’Rul cast an amused, pleased glance at her father before moving to match her sister’s pace.

“Elements,” Ael breathed at the sight of a young man leading a kerosh out of the barn. “I have never seen anything so gorgeous before.”

T’Rul, with a grin, sidled up beside her sister and whispered, “The kerosh, or the boy leading it?”

“T’Rul!” Ael whisper-yelled back, fighting to control the blush that threatened to work its way up her face. “I meant the kerosh.” _And what a lovely one it is._

When it came to comparing a horse to a kerosh, there were resemblances, quite a few differences. The muzzle of a kerosh was considerably more elongated and narrower, though the ears were the standard shape and size of any horse Ael had ever seen. As the animal drew closer, Ael could see wideset eyes that radiated gentleness and warmth, their color a startling bluish-purple, much like the sky in the evening, before twilight turned itself over to the cover of night. A wide, strong back, deep chest; long yet sturdy legs that could carry the animal effortlessly for hours. Hooves that seemed capable of handling almost any terrain.

The animal was soon in front of her, Ael unable to resist stepping closer. Midnight blue, velvety soft fur covered nearly every inch of the animal, its hindquarters dappled in a lighter hue, zebra-like stripes, the same color as the dappling, slashing across her back legs from hock to hoof. A patch of white stood out on the kerosh’s forehead, her mane and tail black with the barest hint of dark blue, the tiniest touch of silver.

“May I?” Ael asked, tentatively reaching out a hand.

“Of course,” the boy, Rhian, said. “Draomn is very friendly. She certainly seems to like you.”

The mare, whose name meant Twilight, Ael guessed she’d been named for her coat coloring, stretched her muzzle forward, pushing it agreeably into Ael’s outstretched palm. Ael smiled at the softness of the mare’s fur under her hand as she stroked it up Draomn’s face, delighting in the scent of sweet hay when the equine-like animal blew out a breath and nickered.

“I like her,” Ael said quietly, keeping her words as simple as possible. If she could pass herself off as the shy, quiet type, which she could easily be called around people whom she didn’t know well, Ael knew she wouldn’t have to devote concentration to speak the language properly. She didn’t feel like making mistakes in front of strangers, give them a cause to suddenly gaze at her through wary eyes.

“Perhaps she can be your mount for the morning,” Rhian offered. Ael continued stroking the mare’s neck while translating the boy’s words in her head.

Hoping she translated properly, Ael nodded. At which point, Rhian attempted to engage her in steadier conversation, including asking about her riding experience. Ael thought she even detected the use of one or two slang words which made his speech largely sound backward.

Though she didn’t want to enlist his help quite so soon, Ael asked for a moment, hurried away to grab her father’s hand and pull him away to a safe distance from the others. The last thing they needed was for anyone to overhear a foreign dialect being spoken on the homeworld.

“I definitely didn’t want to ask for help so soon,” Ael said quietly, slightly disappointed in herself. “But he’s speaking way too quickly for me, and dropping in slang words. I can’t figure out what he’s saying much less how to respond.”

“His main question asked about your experience level, regarding the handling and riding of kerosh.”

“Oh,” she said quietly, digging the toe of her boot into the grass. “I have ridden before but it’s been a while. I probably couldn’t handle anything with loads of spirit.”

“I will tell him.” Movar gently cupped Ael’s chin and lifted her gaze. “Do not be discouraged, Ael. Despite a few errors, you have been doing well.”

Ael did her best to smile at the praise, wrapped her arms tightly around her father for a few moments, then headed back toward the mare who was likely to become her mount for the morning. T’Rul was already astride a seafoam green colored gelding with white dapples and leg stripes. The animal pawed the ground with a forehoof, T’Rul quieting him by stroking her hand down his neck and whispering into a finely shaped ear turned back to listen. Ael supposed the deep burgundy colored kerosh, one whose dapples and striping could barely be distinguished from the main coat coloration, its mane and tail scorched gold in color, to be her father’s mount. It was an intimating-looking creature, but the kind look in the animal’s eyes calmed any apprehension Ael had momentarily felt.

Ael, after learning Draomn would indeed be a suitable mount for the morning, was astride her. For a moment, Ael shifted lightly in the saddle, held the reins comfortably in her left hand, keeping the fingers of her right carefully entwined in some of Draomn’s silky mane, hand resting on the saddle’s pommel for extra stability. Rhian aided Ael in adjusting her stirrups by a good three inches, making her feel much more comfortable in the saddle. At least, now, she didn’t have to stretch her legs uncomfortably long all the while trying to maintain balanced.

The gate to the wooded trails and sprawling fields opened and Rhian gestured for them to ride through. “Enjoy your ride.”

“Have you been here before?” Ael asked once she’d ridden through the gate, riding abreast of T’Rul.

“Many times,” she answered. “We haven’t needed a guide in years.”

Judging from the way both her father and sister sat on their respective mounts, tall, shoulders back, sitting deep; arms somewhat relaxed, hands holding the reins in a way that maintained gentle contact with their mounts’ mouths. Heels were down, eyes ahead; they had definitely ridden kerosh more than once in their lives.

T’Rul, at Ael’s asking, attempted to help her sister with her position in the saddle, correcting a few minor things, or what she could through the sudden language barrier. Ael understood enough, emulating T’Rul’s position in the saddle though she kept a few of her fingers tangled in Draomn’s mane, just in case.

“This doesn’t hurt her or anything?” Ael asked, just to be safe. Earth horses didn’t have nerve endings in their manes, allowing for a bit of extra security if one needed to grab a handful in the event of a bolt, or just to feel stabilized in the event a new rider felt it necessary to regain a sense of balance. Kerosh, it turned out, were much like horses in that department: Their manes lacked nerve endings. Ael felt a bit better about gripping a portion of Draomn’s mane a bit tight. Reaching down, she stroked the midnight blue neck, smiling at the sensation of the velvety soft fur beneath her fingertips.

For a moment, Ael allowed her concentration to wane, focusing on the warmth of the sun raining down. A breeze blew along the scent of both fresh sweet hay from the stables and wildflowers from somewhere nearby. Draomn turned her head and blew out a breath, inhaling deeply. Ael wondered which of the two scents had caught her attention. Draomn turned back, bobbed her head twice, then moved to amble along behind T’Rul’s mount once again.

Ael was happy for a respite from the conversation, happy to listen to the birds in the trees, the breeze through the grass, the rhythmic plodding of kerosh hooves on the ground; anything to give her brain a little rest.

 _Mm, this is nice_ , she thought, allowing her eyes to close for a brief moment. Draomn’s gait felt somewhat soothing, like a gentle rocking motion, reminding Ael of one of the last times she had had difficulty resting due to terrors in the night, her father holding her, rocking her gently, soothing her back to sleep in minutes.

Ael opened her eyes, adjusted her seat in the saddle. “I thought I was going to drift off,” she mumbled to herself. “Probably not the best place in the world to have a nap.” Still, Ael had a feeling there would have been a mild measure of safety had she truly fallen into a doze while aboard the kind, docile mare. Draomn knew the pastures, the fields, every section of wooded trails front to back, she knew how to keep pace with the kerosh in front, where to turn in the event a rider strayed off course. Had Ael truly allowed the reins to slacken more than what the mare knew to be usual, Draomn would have stopped dead in her tracks and waited until her rider instructed her to move forward.

Ael took the opportunity of the open field to ride abreast of T’Rul again, attempting to have a generic conversation in a language she wanted to one day master. There was some difficulty, both girls finding themselves lost a time or two regarding what the other was trying to say. Muddling through felt like a chore but Ael was proud of herself for not running to her father for help the second she felt the frustration too much to bear.

They had just come around one side of the field, preparing to loop back and up towards the wooded trails, when Ael wondered about the possibility of riding just a little bit faster than a sedate, ambling walk. The large, open fields tempted her to ask Draomn to leap forward into a run, her mane flowing in the wind as she raced headlong across the grass.

“Maybe just a little jog, at least,” Ael said, squeezing her legs around Draomn’s sides and clucking softly, the mare giving a little snort before picking up the pace, trotting willingly forward, past T’Rul’s mount, up to Movar who was leading their group. “Hi Daddy,” she said, Draomn slowing without being asked.

“You appear to be doing well,” he said. Ael nodded happily.

“I think so. I’m still getting a little lost when trying to communicate.” _T’Rul looked at me once already like I’d sprouted an extra head._

“You are doing well despite the difficulty, my winged one.”

Scrunching her brow, Ael internally attempted to piece together her next sentence before speaking. She wanted to get everything just right. Desiring to at least trot the rest of the field, Ael found she was stuck on how to ask. What were the gaits of a kerosh even called, she had to wonder?

“Someone appears to be deep in thought.”

“I’m struggling a little with how to ask something,” Ael admitted. “Don’t help me, I can get it.” Deciding asking simply was better than grasping internally for words and phrases she hadn’t even learned, Ael asked, “Can we go faster?”

Appearing to be handling her mount well enough, already having trotted once on her own, Movar didn’t see the harm in allowing it again. It may not have been a fast-paced gallop through the fields at breakneck speeds but to Ael, she had never felt freer. All too soon Draomn slowed back down to a walk, following the pace of Movar’s mount who had pulled up first, preparing to lead the way into a series of beautifully wooded trails.

The sun seemed to vanish as the kerosh trooped into the woods single file, the light flitting in through gaps in the canopy overhead, splashing golden dapples of light across kerosh and rider alike. Tiny wildflowers in pink and yellow grew in patches to both sides of the path, intermingling with darker green plants and startlingly blue vines winding their way up a few of the trees covered in green and white ivy. To Ael, it looked like something out of a fairytale, like she and her mount had stepped from one planet to another, into a new realm of wonders.

“Wow,” she breathed, unable to resist craning her neck around to admire the surroundings. The sounds of gently running water next met her ears, Ael suddenly on the lookout for the source. Through the trees, down a little slope; the three kerosh trotted easily through a stream flanked on all sides by some of the greenest foliage Ael had ever seen. Brilliant yellow blossoms dotted a good deal of trees around the river, bringing with them a scent of floral sweetness when the breeze blew just right.

Back on the path, Ael allowed her mind to wander. From up ahead, the sounds of her father and sister conversing floated back. A few words were easily translated, Ael choosing to tune out most of what they might be saying, far too captivated by the beauty of the world around her to pay their conversation any mind.

Across another small stream, up a little incline, down another; through the trees and into a wide, open grove dotted with the tiniest white flowers stretching in all directions. They rode abreast through the grove, Ael excitedly talking away a mile a minute, scarcely caring about whether or not she was translating everything just so. Movar gladly allowed Ael to babble without offering much in the way of correction regarding her speech. It was nice to see her so animated, filled with joy. Despite the errors that slipped out every now and again, Movar could understand most of what she said.

An hour later and the trio were off the wooded trails and looping back through the open field, heading back towards the stables, and then, home. A pair of wide green eyes surveyed the openness of the field, and like before, Ael longed to go faster. She conveyed her wishes, expressed her desire to race her kerosh across the field, to feel lighter than air.

“I do not think you are quite ready for an exceptionally fast pace yet, Ael,” he said gently. “However, I do think you can handle a bit more than before.”

To make things exceptionally clear, Movar switched to the language Ael understood the most, giving her a few little tips when it came to loping her mount. When it came right down to it, Draomn would likely follow what the other kerosh were doing. Still, cues from her rider were best.

“OK,” said Ael, nodding her head. “When she’s trotting, move my left leg back a bit and nudge her behind the girth. Sit up straight, allow my hips to move with the natural rhythm of her stride. Shoulders back, eyes ahead, hands steady on the reins but not too tight, and heels down. And it’s perfectly fine to hold a chunk of Draomn’s mane.”

“Correct. If at any time you feel uneasy, rein her in. I will be beside you and will be able to see if you need to stop.”

“Something tells me I’ll only want to go faster.”

“All in good time, my winged one. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” she answered, switching back to the Romulan dialect without having to be asked. A few more hoofbeats at a walk quickly turned into a trot, Ael squeezing the mare’s sides with her legs to ask for a faster jog. Draomn knew what was coming, she had seen this open field with many a rider, loping over the grass carefree, galloping across it with a ground-eating stride while her rider whispered into her ear to move even faster. A little head bob and Draomn shook her mane, Ael feeling a nervous yet happy flutter in her stomach when the mare gave a bit of a hop in response to the cue to lope.

Draomn stretched out her legs, bounding into a lope that felt smooth and rolling. Beaming from ear-to-ear, Ael laughed as the wind rushed by and pulled involuntary tears from her eyes. She wished she could stay astride Draomn and lope through the field forever. Even though she knew to keep her eyes ahead, she couldn’t resist stealing a look to either side, grinning at T’Rul who had chosen to ride with her seat slightly out of the saddle, leaning a touch forward yet still perfectly center.

“This is wonderful!” Ael called to her father who easily sat the lope like he’d been born on the back of a kerosh. Eyes again forward, Ael concentrated on enjoying the rest of the lope through the field, her spirit recharged.

At last, and only because her father and sister had reined in their mounts, Ael sat back and slowed Draomn, the mare snorting, prancing a few steps as she returned to a slower pace. “Good girl,” Ael praised, running her hands along the mare’s velvety neck. “Thank you.”

This was going to be a day that she would never forget.

“Thank you, Daddy,” Ael said once they were back on solid ground, her arms slipping around him and squeezing tight. “I had fun.” _Language issues aside, it really has been a great morning._

“You are most welcome, Ael,” he responded, returning her squeeze. “I am pleased that you had an enjoyable time.”

“I think we all did,” T’Rul agreed, Ael turning back to gaze longingly at the creatures they were about to leave behind. She hoped they would return sometime soon.

 _We will,_ Ael promised herself. _Only now, I think it’s time to jump through the language barrier as best I can so that we can plan the rest of our day together._

Slinging an arm casually around T’Rul’s shoulders, Ael began to speak, engaging her family in her ideas for their plans for the rest of the afternoon. There were many ideas to share, Ael hopeful the remainer of the day would be as wonderful as the beginning.

 

…

 

It had certainly been one hell of a day, Ael the perfect picture of exhaustion by the time early evening rolled around. After lounging in the sitting room, nearly dozing off curled up in a chair, Ael had taken herself outside for a bit of cool evening air. She couldn’t help but smile as she recalled the day from late morning to an even later afternoon.

After a wonderful two hours in the saddle of a kerosh, the trio had gone into one of the smaller towns to have lunch at a quiet café overlooking the water. Ael took the opportunity to do more listening than conversing, appreciating the fact the café wasn’t littered with an overabundance of people. She had to admit that listening to the handful of other voices nearby had been interesting, not nearly as overwhelming as she’d originally assumed.

Two hours of talking and listening seemed to fly by in a flash, Ael content in the company of her family, milling about town for another hour after lunch. It seemed most of the shops had caught her eye; she was only too happy to go in and have a look. Once the smaller town had turned into a brief stop by the capital city, Ael felt her anxiety shift from virtually nonexistent into overdrive. Since her transformation, she hadn’t been among quite so many strangers, and the amount of chatter filling her ears, easily fifty times that of where she’d just been, served to overwhelm.

Bravely, Ael forged ahead, doing her best to listen, turning her thoughts inward and talking to herself the times she felt ready to burst. Still, all in all, it hadn’t been as bad as all that, a little trip to the confectioners in the city’s center, the one T’Rul made mention of weeks ago, putting an eager smile right on Ael’s face.

 _At least I only had to ask Daddy to switch back to Federation Standard, once,_ thought Ael as she let herself inside from the gardens, where she had been casually meandering amongst the flowers. It had been a fun, yet mentally taxing day and she was glad to have a bit of alone time where the only voice she had to hear was her own _. I think I did pretty well. Mostly._

Ael had just been on her way into the kitchen to see about lending a hand in preparing the evening meal when the sound of boots on the hardwood, harsh, loud, almost angry, caught her attention. Pinching her nose between thumb and forefinger, Ael closed her eyes and sighed wearily.

“I guess that means her royal highness will be around for dinner tonight. _Yay_ us.” While her day without her translator had certainly been interesting, to say the least, Ael definitely didn’t want to be without it during last meal. Thankfully, Movar was easy to locate, already in the kitchen with T’Rul, discussing the evening’s menu. At the sight of Ael’s tired, suddenly anxious expression (everyone in the kitchen had heard the loud stomping of Sela’s boots) Movar excused himself away from T’Rul, took Ael aside and presented her with her “lost” translation device.

“Thank you,” said Ael more tiredly than she meant, quickly securing the item around her left wrist. “I really didn’t want to have to spend the entirety of dinner listening to mumbles across the table impossible to decipher,” she said sourly, referencing Sela. “Aside from that, I’m also pretty tired. My brain feels like mush.”

“Understandable. There may have been instances where you had some difficulty today, Ael, but you refused to allow those instances to keep you from accomplishing your goal. You did exceptionally well today and I am proud of you.”

“That means a lot to me, Daddy, it really does,” she said, leaning in for a hug. “And even though I feel so worn out, I want you to know that I had a really great day. Oh, and do you think we could go riding again sometime?”

“Of course, my winged one,” he promised, giving her a squeeze. “Perhaps next week if my schedule permits, though I currently do not see anything that might pose a problem.”

“Sounds good to me. Oh! Maybe we could make it a weekly thing?”

Movar smiled at his daughter’s enthusiasm. “We will see, Ael.”

Ael was pretty sure he meant “yes”.

A lovely meal of herbed, baked poultry, fragrant rice, roasted vegetables, and soft, fresh rolls was whipped up in no time at all. Cooking a meal with her family, the trio laughing, talking, helping out where needed; it all brought so much happiness to Ael’s heart, happiness that slowly began to melt away when she caught sight of Sela at the table.

 _Right, her,_ Ael thought silently, placing one of the serving bowls on the table. It took a great deal of self-control not to wrinkle her nose at Sela’s presence. _At least she had the sense not to try and take my chair again. But she’s only one seat down from me. Ugh. Maybe I’ll ask T’Rul if she’d mind swapping seats._

T’Rul didn’t mind, Ael thanking her profusely. She was far too tired to deal with Sela’s possible nonsense tonight. She even went so far as to mumble a little prayer on her way to take her place at the table.

For a good while, Ael’s little prayer showed all signs of being answered, the evening meal progressing without incident, Sela largely keeping her head down, attention anywhere except on Ael, the little runt of a human whom she couldn’t stand. Ael was so tired from the day's activities that she felt more at ease simply eating her food and listening to bits of the conversation between her father and sister as the family’s day was happily recounted. Apparently, recounting a day of family togetherness was far more than some – one person in particular – at the table could handle hearing.

Stealing a glance across the table, Ael could see Sela’s mood darkening. Then, she heard the woman mumbling around her next forkful of food. _Why couldn’t you have gotten lost on that assignment of yours?_ Ael grumbled inside.

Before she lost the ability to stay both sane and silent, Ael excused herself from the table to fetch herself a glass of her favorite beverage: ihor berry juice. Perhaps a glass of “liquid perfection” as Ael liked to call it, would help calm her state of unease. Pouring a heaping portion into her favorite purple and blue marbled glass, she took a welcome drink, sighed happily, then returned to the table.

“Would you like any more tea since I’m up?” Ael asked her sister, already reaching toward the pot on the table.

“That would be wonderful, Ael, thank you. It turned out lovely tonight. Very fragrant.”

“It does smell nice,” said Ael, sniffing appreciatively at the spicy scent rising from her sister’s cup. “I might have a cup before bed tonight.” She turned toward her father, asking if he would like anything else in his cup, more ale, some water, maybe even a cup of tea himself since mealtime was almost over, and the brew really did smell amazing.

At his daughter’s gentle coercing, Movar opted for a cup of tea. Ael happily obliged, pouring one for herself while she was at it. She was sure she’d drink it. Just as she was about to sit, Ael noticed Sela giving her a hard, almost scathing look from across the table.

 _Oh, don’t tell me you’re mad I didn’t offer you any tea_ , she thought, annoyed. _You don’t even like tea! Or that’s what you said the only time you were ever offered any. Well, I guess I should try to be nice even though you don’t really know how to be._

Swallowing down the lump of unease in her throat, Ael turned towards Sela and offered, in the most polite, non-sarcastic voice she could muster, another drink of some sort. A curt shake of the head was the only response. Ael supposed it could have been worse. Placing the kettle down, Ael moved to sit, head cocking to the side, ears listening intently to the mumbles now floating over from across the way.

“So sorry for trying to be polite,” Ael muttered into her glass of juice.

Some people would simply never change.

 

 

…

 

_Dear Journal,_

_I nearly came to blows with Sela. Well, maybe not quite that close but I shouted at her. Elements; did I ever shout at that horrible, wretched, vile woman. T’Rul shouted at her too. At least this time I didn’t swear. I should have. And Daddy; he was seriously the angriest I’ve ever seen him. Not at me or T’Rul; I’m sure you can guess who._

_As usual, I guess I should give you a rundown of what happened at the dinner table. Again. Even though Sela was at the table, we almost managed to get through an entire meal without any of her crap. Almost. Not long after I offered everyone at the table, including her royal pain in the ass, something more to drink, Sela started to mumble beneath her breath. At first, I wasn’t sure what she was saying, then T’Rul turned to her right and bluntly told Sela to be quiet and show some respect, that I wasn’t a slave or servant girl here to do anyone’s bidding. That I had offered everyone at the table more to drink out of kindness, not because I had to or else._

_Apparently, I’m not even good enough to be a lowly servant girl to even lowest on the totem pole of wealthy, influential Houses, or so Sela claimed. “A servant would at least know the proper order in which to offer and pour drinks in the first place,” she’d said._

_“Are you really comparing me to a servant?” I burst loudly, tempted to throw what was left of my roll across the table. It might have been amusing to see it hit her square in the middle of her flat forehead. “How in the world did this all come about from me being polite, especially to you when I didn’t have to be? You are aware I’m a member of this family, yes? I’ve been adopted, for Elements’ sake! I’m not here to amuse or cater to you.” I cast a quick glance at Daddy, finding him sorely unamused. “I’m his daughter, not you, so kindly leave me alone before someone at this table makes you.”_

_Something I said, I’m still not quite sure which part, drove Sela to rage. I thought she was going to try and beat me to death right there at the table. Thankfully, I managed to get behind Daddy the second she attempted to come around the table to, I assume, throttle me._

_“Oh, she’s your daughter, is she? Isn’t that precious. How much of a fool can you be?” I’m surprised she didn’t get slapped into next week. If I was taller, I might have tried. “You continue to treat that little nothing like she is of Romulan blood, of your blood when she only harbors the blood of our most sworn enemy. You think changing your appearance makes you one of us?” She spat at me. “Not a chance.”_

_My newfound confidence from the day before last vanished in a hurry. For once, I was glad of my small stature. It meant I could hide behind Daddy with my head turned away, face out of sight. The last thing I wanted to have Sela witness were the tears already raining down my cheeks. I didn’t care about Sela, starting to loathe her as much as she already did me, so why did the unworthy opinion of someone I did not love, hurt so damn much?_

_Maybe because her words brought back too many painful memories from childhood, reinforced what I’d always thought myself to be: A waste, a nothing, unworthy of love. Someone who could never belong._

_T’Rul caught my tear-filled gaze from behind Daddy and rounded on Sela. She was madder than the incident back in the field, the time we watched the D’elo game, the day I wound up beaten, in the dirt while she fought for my safety. That day, she’d nearly taken a life. Then, she said she had only been trying to frighten the bullying behavior out of Somac, make him think twice before ever pulling a blade again. This time, I don’t think she was bluffing._

_“You nasty, despicable woman,” T’Rul said angrily, fists clenched at her sides. I saw one fist unfurl, reaching down her hip to where her Honor Blade would normally rest. I think it bothered her to find it missing, probably left in her room. I have never heard T’Rul lay into someone that fiercely before._

_Before Daddy could get the chance to say anything, Sela snorted, scoffed T’Rul and began to leave the room. I made my way out from behind Daddy and yelled, “Why are you so jealous of me? I don’t get it, Sela.”_

_Sela whirled around before she hit the entryway, an un-mirthful smile on her face. “Jealous?” She repeated with a laugh that made me feel sick. “Of you? Surely, you jest.”_

_We exchanged a few more words, and how I managed to keep from swearing up a storm or firing insults, I have no clue. I guess I didn’t want to disappoint Daddy. Sela ended the exchange by reminding me I didn’t belong and never would. That I was a nothing, someone only “these two fools” could love._

_Daddy had had enough. After giving me an apologetic glance, a comforting squeeze on the shoulder, he marched right over to where Sela stood and backhanded her so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if that woman’s field of vision changed colors and shifted out of alignment at the same time._

_And then, in front of everyone, Sela was formally disowned. Daddy reminded her she had nowhere left to run, no other home in which to seek refuge. Out of the family meant out of the family. By morning, she would formally be erased off any documentation that bore her name, from military records to civilian, even her record of birth would cease to be. Exile from the homeworld would be her only option, or ritual suicide if she wished to die with some form of honor still on her person._

_He also took the liberty of reminding Sela of the fact that I was, in fact, his daughter. Not only was I a member of this family, this House, but, now, a High-Born in the eyes of society. Like it or not, I was due respect and I would rightfully receive it, as would he, and everyone else not only beneath his roof but who bore the family crest upon the walls of their homes. I thought she was going to cry herself when Daddy told her I would one day rise higher than she ever had been able, only I would get there fairly, by my own merits, not based on the rank and privilege of my father, someone she owed more than her fair share of achievements too. Being told that stung more than the smack she’d been given, I think._

_“There is no one left in this family who will back you,” Daddy said. I was only half listening, attempting to tune out an inner monologue repeating the same words over and over again: You are nothing; you do not belong and you never will. Daddy had likely been about to utter the words “Get out of my sights, and my home,” when my inner voice, which refused to be silent, caused me to burst into tears and flee the dining room._

_“I will never be Romulan,” I cried as I fell to my knees in front of my full-length mirror. “What did I ever do to anyone to deserve this crap? H-how hard is it to just belong?”_

_At that point, I just started bawling my eyes out. Daddy was on the floor, on his knees next to me in seconds, holding me tight. He did his best to console me, but I wasn’t having it. I was too full of self-loathing._

_T’Rul had me in a tight hug next. “Damn that vile woman,” she said. “Pay no attention to her, Ael. She isn’t worth it. Do not give her the satisfaction of destroying your spirit, your dreams for the future. Her worries about what you will one day become, what you have that she doesn’t – a family – are for her to agonize over. Not you.”_

_They stayed with me until I’d stopped crying. I’m just glad I didn’t throw up dinner. As the minutes passed, both sister and father assured me they loved me, now and always, that I was as Romulan as any other where it mattered, that I would one day do great things._

_Honestly, after what happened, I’m still struggling to believe it. I wish I wasn’t._

_One day at a time, I guess._

_Sela made an appearance in the hall right outside my door a minute or two after I’d calmed down a bit. She seemed – not so angry anymore, more like sad. My vision was still blurry so I’m probably mistaken as to the look on her face. She did seem out of sorts, though._

_Daddy noticed Sela standing there, so did T’Rul._

_“She has one minute to get the hell out of my sights before I do something to her that she won’t like,” said T’Rul to our father._

_After a few more words of comfort, another tight hug, a kiss on the forehead, Daddy said he would deal with Sela, who now seemed to be pleading her case. T’Rul rolled her eyes, kept her back turned on the woman who was escorted away._

_Another few minutes and I asked T’Rul for a bit of alone time. “If you’re certain.” I nodded. “All right. But when you’re ready, you, me, and Father will have a game or two of khariat before bed.”_

_T’Rul left to, I assume, start clearing the table. I collected my journal and pen and, well, here I am._

_Here’s hoping tomorrow is better. Tonight certainly can’t get any worse._

Ael closed her journal and tucked it back into the top desk drawer. Releasing a little sigh, Ael rubbed her hands over tired eyes. Despite some fatigue, she thought she felt a little better, leaving her room to go in search of her sister and father, still hopeful a game of khariat and maybe some leftover cookies were on the table before retiring to bed.

“Are you feeling any better?” T’Rul asked when Ael peeked into the sitting room.

“A little. Is Daddy still dealing with Sela?”

A nod. “At least it’s quieter now.” Ael tipped her head. “As you would be inclined to say, I think Father shouted Sela into next year. He’s _definitely_ reached the end of his proverbial rope when it comes to her. Took him long enough,” she added in a mutter.

“Will she be cast out of the family for good, then?”

“I will be extremely surprised if she’s even allowed a room for the night.”

“I almost hit her T’Rul.”

T’Rul offered an understanding expression. “I very nearly,” she held her thumb and forefinger apart by the barest margin, “marched to my room and retrieved my Honor Blade. Honestly, it’s way past time someone taught that vile woman a lesson in regards to her dishonoring speech.” Next time, if there was one, Ael knew T’Rul would probably end Sela altogether.

“I’m going to go see if we have any leftover cookies,” Ael said. If she couldn’t find any, she would make use of the replicator. “Would you like one?”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

Ael hurried off in search of the possibly leftover treats, finding several in a glass jar with a lid. She took one, biting into it immediately, closing her eyes at the spiced gingery taste that filled her with a sense of comfort. “One cookie as promised,” Ael said when she handed the treat over to her sister. “Mine, uh, didn’t survive the trip.” Grinning with false sheepishness, Ael wondered if anyone would mind terribly much if she had another. “So, when do you think Daddy’ll be out of his office?”

“Hopefully, soon. Sela is probably begging her backside off at the moment, promising everything under the sun and moon if he’ll give her just one more chance.” She rolled her eyes. “I cannot see that happening, Ael, I truly can’t.”

“How many chances has she had?”

“More than any one person deserves.”

Ael decided not to pry further. Some fresh air sounded nice all of a sudden. “Hey, T’Rul, if it’s OK, I’m going to step outside for a few minutes, just to get some fresh air.”

“Of course, it’s OK. Would you like some company?”

“No, but thanks. I just need a few more minutes by myself, I guess, staring up at the moons, thinking about some things. Oh, and, um, thanks for staying by my side earlier after Sela drove me to my latest tearful breakdown.” Ael made a face.

“You are very much welcome, a’rhea,” said T’Rul with a hand on Ael’s shoulder. “Standing by one another is what family is supposed to do. And believe me when I say I will never be shy about defending you.”

Ael swore she was going to cry for a second time that night, opting to hug her sister instead. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. So you know where I’ll be, I’m going to head out front rather than out back to the gardens. The moons are easier to view out front tonight.”

“Noted. Stay inside the gates and mind your step if you decide to stray from the path. One of the last times I went for a meander out front after it had grown dark, I twisted my ankle when I tripped over a stray stone in the grass.”

“I won’t go far.”

Stopping by the kitchen long enough to take a second cookie from the jar, swearing quietly it would be her last for the night, Ael let herself out through the front door and into the coolness of night. At first, she was content to hang around the front steps, nibble her cookie, and bathe in the comforting glow of the twin moons overhead. Ael smiled when she heard the low, rhythmic noise of cricket-like creatures chirping nearby.

“What a night this turned out to be,” she said aloud. “And what in the world is with these suddenly, very confusing thoughts? After what Sela said, how she treated me, again, I might add; how is it I suddenly feel a little sorry for her?” Being “yelled into next year” was one thing, but losing one’s home, all ties to family, erased from existence; possible exile from the homeworld, ritual suicide the only means of dying with even the smallest measure of dignity. As much as Sela loathed every ounce of her, Ael didn’t know if she could stomach what might be about to befall the woman.

“T’Rul has said, more than once that this family has had its trials where Sela has been concerned, long before I ever came here, probably before I was even born. What happens to her isn’t my fault,” she said firmly. Still, something about the ordeal felt unsettling, Ael soon striding idly through the grass and paying little mind to where she was going. Eventually, she tripped up, over a stray stone. She wondered if it was the same one that had caused T’Rul a similar problem, way back when.

“Well, she did tell me to watch where I was going.” The stone was picked up and tossed into the bushes. The foliage rustled as if annoyed by the action. Ael tipped her head and stepped forward curiously, if not a bit nervous. A chittering chirp erupted into the air, an animal about the size of a rabbit darting out from beneath the bush, scampering away into the night. Ael hoped she’d only frightened the animal rather than accidentally hitting it with a rock.

“It’s getting chilly,” she mumbled against a sudden breeze, noticing how her feet had managed to carry her much further from the path than she’d meant. She was now around the side of the home, close to her room. If she squinted through the darkness, Ael thought she could just make out her window. “Bed sounds great about now.” It was time to go in.

Another gust of breeze came along, pulling with it an unusual odor that stopped Ael cold. A musky, unpleasant aroma filled her nose, causing it to wrinkle in disgust. Quickly, she put a hand over her nose and mouth. The stench seeped through her tightly cupped hand, the abrasive scent of ale now discernable through the musk. This time, it was definitely not an animal, certainly nothing that would be frightened away by the sudden appearance of a little rock.

Seized by sudden panic, Ael froze. She didn’t know what to do. Should she turn tail and run as fast as possible, or maybe stay still, praying whoever might be lurking nearby couldn’t see her. Screaming was always an option, but her voice seemed to be missing.

Ael was about to chance it and run when a low, threatening voice bade her not to move or make a sound. The muzzle of a disruptor pistol emerged from the dark and pressed between Ael’s shoulder blades. It became more and more difficult not to scream for help. Ael quickly lost the battle to keep silent, crying out just enough to possibly attract attention from somewhere in the house. In a flash, her assailant sprung into decisive action, his pistol connecting painfully hard with the side of Ael’s head, forcing her to her to the ground and fighting to stay conscious.

Dizzy and frightened Ael dared to move to her hands and knees, gaze flicking upwards to again catch the sight of her bedroom window close by. Had someone been stalking her, waiting for her to wander alone in the dead of night? How many nights had this particular person been waiting just outside her bedroom window, preparing to strike, biding his time? A bigger question still: How in Fire’s name did this nameless entity penetrate the estate’s security grid? Ael had little time to think about it as she was hauled to her feet by the collar of her dress, a pistol pressed against her bleeding temple.

 _Daddy, please, help me_ , she wanted to scream, the pleas for help she longed to cry muffled by a large, rough hand clamped tightly over her mouth.


	22. Chapter 22

The stars in the sky swirled overhead, Ael reeling with dizziness when her eyes rolled up in fear. Heart racing, sweat beading on her forehead, tears leaking down dirt-stained cheeks, Ael felt the acrid taste of bile in her throat. It threatened to spill out of her mouth at any moment, running through the fingers of the hand still clamped over her mouth. Head pounding, scarlet blood leaking from a wound above her left eye; Ael contemplated allowing herself to vomit. It might make the still-hidden-from-view assailant drop her cold, giving her time to scramble to her feet and run. Or, he could be sickened enough to shoot her before she had time to pick herself up off the ground.

 _What do I do_? Opening her eyes, rolling them to either side in a vain attempt to see who held her, Ael’s hands clawed desperately at the hand over her mouth, crying out into the hand of the stranger when the muzzle of a disruptor pistol pressed painfully into the bleeding gash over her eye. Any harder and Ael thought it might possibly be shoved right through her skull.

At her yelp, a voice, deep, gravelly, _murderous_ , spoke. “If you know what is good for you, you will make not one more sound.” Ael ceased struggling, breathing hard, eyes rooted on a path to make a run for it if only she had the chance. “Do exactly as I say and your death, when it does come, will be quick.”

Ael’s thoughts whirled in a chaotic jumble of emotions and panic. Terror sat at the forefront, confusion over what this nameless stranger wanted, coming in a close second. Overwhelming sadness felt ready to trump both. Any minute now and she would be dragged away to the Elements only knew where, leaving behind her father and sister, two people who had come to love and care for her, as she did them. To think of never seeing either of them again, of knowing the blow losing her would deal; Ael felt ready to break down and sob over how that thought alone made her feel.

Struggling would exhaust her, attempting to fight would prove fruitless, pleading for mercy just might get her pistol-whipped again or worse, shot.

_What hope do I even have? I’m five foot nothing, barely weigh as much as a wet noodle. I’m weak, powerless, and this man whose face I still haven’t seen easily possesses several times my own strength. If he feels like it, he could snap my neck with one hand._

“Please, let me go!” Ael yelled into the hand over her mouth. She didn’t know what else to do.

“What did I tell you?” A voice whisper-yelled into Ael’s ear, the disruptor clocking her in the same manner as before, in the exact same spot no less. Ael’s vision violently shifted, the sight in her left eye suddenly much fuzzier than her right. The pain was so great that this time, Ael couldn’t help but retch. Allowing her to fall to the ground on her hands and knees to vomit, the still-unknown assailant, a shadow under the cover of night, towered over her.

“That is what happens when you disobey, whelp,” he growled, hauling the young teenager upright after she’d finished heaving in the grass. Legs wobbling, body trembling in fright, Ael began to gather what courage she could find. She would either scream as loudly as possible, surely attracting the attention of someone in the house, or she would turn and dole out an almighty kick to her attacker. Both options held risk for success and failure alike.

_One or the other. You’re dead if you let him drag you away from home!_

“Now then, here is what is about to happen,” said the man, his warm, sour breath cascading across Ael’s cheek. “We are going to move backward, nice and slow. You will follow my directions without complaint. Failure to do so; make a single sound and I will snap your neck. Am I clear, my young friend?”

Nodding briskly in reply, Ael felt her courage ebbing away into nothing. Chest heaving in fear, Ael began to pick her way backward in time with the man’s steps, tears cascading down her cheeks to mingle with the dirt and blood.

_It’s hopeless. I’m as good as dead. Daddy, T’Rul, I love you. I’m sorry._

 

 

…

Never give up hope.

T’Rul had been heading past Ael’s room when a strange sound grabbed her attention, forced her steps to slow. At first, she thought Sela had taken to plead her case again, louder than before, the sound had carried down the hall the first time. Straining to listen, T’Rul heard nothing more than the wind howling outside. Still, something prompted her to peek into the darkened room. Standing quietly, she listened, another unusual sound coming into focus, one which bore a resemblance to a hefty blow. What was that low, quiet rumbling she could hear if she pressed her ear to the wall by the window?

Keeping the room dark, T’Rul peeked through the partially-drawn curtains, eyes widening in fear when she saw the shadowy figure looming over her sister. Icy cold tendrils of fear laced their way up her spine, reaching around to grab hold of her heart and send it racing. Suddenly, it felt difficult to draw in a normal breath. Backing slowly out of the room so as to not alert anyone with the sound of footsteps, T’Rul, once clear of the door, raced down the hall toward her father’s office.

All the while she ran, the words Taelis had once spoken in regards to Ael, days ago now, flashed through T’Rul’s thoughts.

_“You may think that you are one of the people, but you are not. You are but a frail human being in a world that is not yours, nor ever will be. You will only ever be safe inside of these walls, child. There will be a day when you venture too far from them, and it will be the last time that you ever do.”_

_Could this be Taelis’s doing_? She thought. _Elements damn me_! _I should have told Father about the earlier incidents; this could have been prevented_!

Taelis or another party altogether, it didn’t matter right then. What mattered was reaching her father and alerting him to the situation. T’Rul momentarily cursed the fact that her father kept his office at nearly the rear of the estate. Bursting through the doors to his office, T’Rul, barely winded from the run, said, “Come, now! Ael; someone is attempting to take her!”

The gravity of the situation took its hold immediately, Movar feeling quite like he’d been booted in the stomach. Stopping just long enough to seize his disruptor from the top desk drawer, Movar, after telling Sela to stay put, made haste to leave the room, peppering T’Rul with questions about what had happened.

“I should never have let her wander outside alone,” said T’Rul once she’d explained. “I thought nothing of her meandering out front for a few minutes to get some air. I should have kept her inside.”

“This is not your fault, T’Rul. Stay inside, I will find Ael and bring her back.” Letting himself out through a semi-hidden side entrance, Movar vanished into the night, T’Rul praying that he wasn’t already too late to stop Ael from being carted away to a place they might never be able to find her again.

 

 

…

 

Still on the estate grounds, Ael lost the resolve to continue stepping backward, her assailant forced to drag her along. There was no doubt about it, the fuzzy vision, the severe headache, the dizziness, the tiredness, feeling cold all over; Ael had a concussion. Any moment now and she just might pass out cold.

“Gonna pass out,” slurred Ael sleepily.

“Keep moving,” the man’s voice instructed. “If your presence alive had not been specifically requested, I would have already shot you. For such a tiny little thing, you certainly have proven difficult.”

“You hit me in the fucking head, twice,” Ael said loudly, sounding almost drunk, blinking rapidly to stay awake. The man cringed, uttering a curse and pulling her along at a much faster clip. “Blame your stupid self for me being about to black out. _Verrul_ ,” she swore.

“ _Shut up_ , insolent brat,” the man hissed, his hand once again clamping tight over Ael’s mouth, lifting her off the ground. Backward by another few feet and Ael reached long with her legs, capturing a stray tree root with her feet, hooking her shoes around it. It didn’t take much for the man to tug her free. “I swear to the Elements; you are _not_ worth the trouble this is taking. I believe the rest of your journey will be made in an unconscious state.”

Ael, having no wish to be carted away, tortured and killed, decided to bite her attacker’s hand, forcing him to yell out, to pull his hand away, giving her the perfect opportunity to cry out for her father’s aid. Movar had been spitting distance from Ael and her assailant, waiting for the perfect moment to strike when Ael cried out. Doubled-up fists came down hard on the back of the unknown man’s neck, sending him sprawling down in the grass. Ael fell with him, momentarily pinned beneath his body.

Kicking the unconscious man aside, Movar helped Ael to her feet. She leaped into his arms, threw her arms around his neck and wept. Seizing the pistol from the ground the man had used in his assault, Movar tucked the item into the back of his waistband and then prodded the downed individual with the toe of his boot. Now, to shoot this person or drag them away into the house, calling HQ to send a soldier or two to the estate in order to remove him to a more secure location for questioning.

If he moved, even just long enough to get Ael back inside, the man could come to and flee before Movar had a chance to get back. If he waited around to do a bit of outside interrogating, Ael, who was already traumatized, would witness it all. True, he could always send her running pell-mell towards the house, but what if this man had not come alone? What if another was waiting where had not yet checked?

No, Ael stayed with him. The man beneath his boot groaned.

“Y-you came for me,” Ael cried into his neck. “I-I thought I was dead. I feel s-so cold.”

“I would never allow anyone to take you, Ael. Hush. You are safe now.” The man on the ground began to move. “Ael, keep your head turned away,” Movar instructed softly. Ael did as told, closing her eyes while she was at it. She had no wish to lay eyes on the person who’d assaulted her so horribly. “On your knees,” Movar said to the man who began to pick himself up. “You have some questions to answer.”

“I will answer no questions,” he said, head down, keeping his face hidden by shadow.

“ _Who sent you_?” Movar demanded. Oh, if this had been the main complex, not that anyone would have penetrated that particular fortress and lived to tell about it, armed guards would have had this man off the ground and inside, down in the basement, restrained cruelly before he’d regained even an ounce of consciousness. Then, no matter what it took, even if mind probes had to be used, they would have gotten every last ounce of information regarding who this man was, who he worked for, if anyone in particular, and why did Ael have a target painted so prominently on her back.

“I asked you a question.” The muzzle of the disruptor pressed in-between the V-shaped ridge on the man’s forehead. “Who sent you? Did you honestly believe you could abduct _my daughter_ from _my estate_ and live to return to whoever sent you?”

A deep, eerie chuckle found its way out into the darkness. “Your _daughter_ ,” the man echoed sarcastically with a laugh. “You foolishly take this frail, hated creature into your home, bond with it, give it the cherished title of “daughter”. With a bond, comes trust, undying loyalty; this child is not one who deserves such things. And, look, you have changed her appearance. How foolish to think it would keep her safe from harm. A ridge on her forehead, points on her ears, a dress that speaks of ties to Romulan nobility; did you truly think that would make this pitiable child a Romulan?”

Ael cowered against her father, squeezing her eyes even more tightly shut. Other than her father and sister, it seemed most of the world would forever be against her, no matter how she looked.

“Then again,” he said, raising his face ever so slightly, “look with whom I am speaking. You do so have a fondness for humans, do you not, General?” A villainous smile stretched across the man’s face, and he chuckled. “Kill me, if you wish. I will tell you nothing about my motive. Heed my warning, General: Others _will_ try for her. Unless you guard her every moment of every day; at some point, you will relax just enough, your guard will drop, and then,” he snapped his fingers, “she will be gone before you can blink.”

“Go to hell,” Movar said, his voice projecting a good two octaves below normal, squeezing the disruptor’s trigger. A bolt of emerald green energy surged from the muzzle, enveloping the stranger in a ghastly green glow that tore him apart molecule by molecule until he vanished from sight, vaporized.

Ael’s body shook with sobs. Over and over, she repeated, “You came for me,” alternating with, “I feel cold.” Movar wasted little time bringing her inside, settling her on the lounge in the foyer and draping its decorative covering over Ael’s shoulders to try and quell her shivering.

“Thank Air and Fire you’re safe,” said T’Rul. Right away, she noticed the blood, her sister’s ashen complexion. “I’m going to get the medical kit.”

Movar sat beside his shaken child who instantly scooted over to his side and held tight to his hand. “Please, don’t go,” she said.

“I have no intentions of leaving,” he promised. “I am by your side for as long as you need me to be.”

“I-I’m so ashamed,” she suddenly blurted, hiding her face. “I-I didn’t even try t-to defend myself.”

“You did exactly as you should have, my winged one. Nothing would have been gained by you attempting to fight your attacker.” _Other than an untimely demise_ , he thought.

“All I did was behave l-like a coward. I-I didn’t behave like a Romulan, like you. I should h-have been braver than that. I was just so afraid. Romulans aren’t ever afraid,” she said in nearly a whisper.

“Romulans are not exempt from fear, Ael,” her father said quietly. “We all experience it at some point or another in our lives, even I do. This evening is a prime example of one of those instances. There is truly no greater fear than for a father to think he might be about to lose a child.”

“One medical kit,” interrupted T’Rul as she hurried into the room. “Along with a warmer blanket, and a few other things.”

The blanket was settled over Ael’s shoulders, a mildly difficult task due to the fact she refused to move more than a micron away from Movar’s side.

“You must allow me to asses, and tend to, your injuries,” he said gently. Even though Ael felt she had no courage left to spare, a sliver of it surfaced, just enough to where she allowed her body to lean away from the safety of her father’s arms, raising her head to allow him to look her over. Blood, now drying and sticky, ran down one side of Ael’s face, the wound over her left eye already beginning to bruise. Miraculously, the rest of her appeared to be in good working order, well, save for her mind.

“H-how bad is it?” Ael stammered, closing her eyes while her father gently prodded the wound.

“Fortunately, it is not as bad as it appears. I will know more in a moment. Be still, my winged one. I will take great care not to cause you further discomfort.”

Utilizing a soft cloth dipped into a small bowl of cool water, Movar set to work cleaning out Ael’s wound. Biting back a wince, Ael stayed still, allowing him to do what was needed in order to better assess her injury. “Thankfully, it appears to be mostly superficial, though I expect a good deal of bruising by tomorrow.” Wound now cleansed, the dermal regenerator came into play, the little instrument with its glowing jade light, passed continually over the cut until it faded from sight.

Trading one cloth for another, Movar cleansed the dried blood, and dirt from his daughter’s face. “Th-thank you,” she said with a sniffle and a wince. “My head hurts.”

“That is to be expected.” A hypospray was extracted from the medkit, one of the drugs in suspension, loaded into the applicator. “A mild analgesic,” he explained. “It should relieve any further pain. How is your vision?”

“A little fuzzy in one eye.”

“If that has not cleared by tomorrow, I will be taking you to the doctor. Now, you do have a slight concussion, which means I will be watching you closely for the rest of the night.”

“OK,” she said tiredly. Had she not felt so dizzy, she would have nodded. After nearly toppling from the couch in her haste to scoot back over to her father’s side, and seek refuge in his arms, Ael told of the dizziness plaguing her, rewarded with another hypospray. She sighed in immediate relief and shut her eyes.

All was silent. Ael, head on her father’s shoulder, began to doze. Silently, Movar began to plan an immediate upgrade to the home’s security grid, seriously thinking of bringing in a handful of armed guards to station around the estate, no fewer than four standing watch all twenty-five-point-five hours per day, all ten days per week. T’Rul, having finished putting the medical kit back in order, clicked it closed, taking a seat on the couch beside her father and sister.

The fact that the horrors of the past half hour could have likely been prevented, had she not allowed Ael to convince her to keep the threats against her a secret, never mind the attack she suffered only a day later; T’Rul knew she had to say something. Own up. Clearing her throat, T’Rul aimed a pointed, specific glance at her sister. One look and Ael knew.

 _T’Rul, please, no_ , she begged silently.

 _Ael, I have to,_ her sister’s eyes seemed to answer. The two sisters continued to exchange a variety of looks and glances for the better part of another two minutes. T’Rul finally said with a sigh, “Ael, we have to tell him.”

Ael quickly sat straight, keeping her hand clamped tight on her father’s. Eyes widening, fearful, Ael yelled, “T’Rul, no! You promised!”

“Against my better judgment,” T’Rul said, casting a glance from sister to father and back again, “I kept something a secret I shouldn’t have. Had I simply contacted Father in the first place, tonight might not have happened. Ael, you could have been killed.”

“I don’t care,” Ael yelped, angry, tears running down her cheeks. _I lied to Daddy, T’Rul and I both did, and now it’s all going to come out. What if he doesn’t trust me anymore because I lied to him? I should have just told the truth._

Just as defensively, T’Rul said firmly, “Well _I_ care. I’m telling him, Ael.”

“It’ll just make things worse!” Even though she’d been given an analgesic, Ael’s head began to throb with worry.

“All right, ladies, that is more than enough,” Movar said firmly, lowering his tone when the arguing between daughters ceased. “Am I correct in assuming that something of a more serious nature happened during my absence from the home, something which decided to, then, end up a bit of a secret between siblings.”

“Kind of,” Ael mumbled, lowering her gaze.

“Which one of my daughters would like the honor of enlightening me to the situation?”

“I wanted to tell you, I was just afraid,” Ael tearfully admitted. “I felt like admitting another bad thing, more like a couple of bad things, would make me seem like a burden, something I’m tired of being.”

Certain Ael wasn’t about to volunteer any full or useful explanations, Movar looked to T’Rul who, after casting an apologetic glance at her sister, began to explain all that had transpired during their father’s time away.

“It all began several days before you were due to return. Ael and I had just come home from Leinarrah when there was a knock at the door. You remember Taelis, yes?” Movar nodded. “She came by to check on the household while you were away. Rather, she came by to check on _me_ , or so she said. Personally, the longer she stayed, the more I felt uneasy in regards to her presence. I believe she came by our home with an ulterior motive in mind.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am not entirely certain,” T’Rul admitted. “Whilst here, Taelis saw fit to verbally abuse Ael, racially slur her. Then, she insulted you for daring to bring Ael into this household, adopting her formally.” There was a pause before T’Rul finished. Ael pleaded, begged with her eyes to say no more. T’Rul had to deny the silent request. “Father, Taelis threatened Ael’s life.”

“She _what_?” Her father as upset as she figured he’d be, Ael continued to keep her head down, gaze averted, not that she felt she had any right to look him in the eyes. Not after the lie, the truths she’d omitted and convinced T’Rul to keep secret though she knew better.

T’Rul repeated verbatim what Taelis had said to Ael before leaving. “I should have sent a message through to someone immediately,” she said. “I regret, now, not doing so.”

“As you should,” Movar said a bit too sternly for Ael’s liking, and she winced when T’Rul’s full name came into play. “T’Rul i-Ra’tleihfi t’Illialhae, you know _better_ than to conceal something like this from me. Your immediate response should have been to contact HQ, get a message through to me at once. Had I been informed, I would have not only upgraded our security system at once but, also, stationed soldiers on the estate grounds. Ael certainly would have never been allowed out after dark without someone by her side.”

Ael couldn’t stand hearing T’Rul scolded so firmly, especially knowing how she deserved a good portion of the blame herself.

“It’s just as much my fault,” Ael said quietly, Movar’s gaze shifting from T’Rul to her. “I asked T’Rul, _begged_ her not to tell you.”

Though Ael looked frightened about what might befall her, unable to meet his gaze for more than a second or two, Movar scolded her just the same, beginning with, “Ael t’Illialhae,” which caused her eyes to lift in worry. “Keeping something of this caliber concealed from me was unacceptable. I never wish for this incident to be repeated, do you understand?”

“I’m r-really sorry, Daddy,” Ael said. Swallowing hard, she attempted to control her stammering and looked away. “I-I begged T’Rul not t-to say anything. All I wanted was t-to forget that anything had happened. D-do you have any idea how tired I am of being a burden to you? I can’t even defend your honor the times you’re accused of not even having any, a-all because of me.”

“Ael, look at me.” Tentatively, she raised her eyes. “Making me aware of the fact someone threatened your life does not make you a burden. Had I known what transpired with Taelis, this entire ordeal would likely have never taken place. I ought to place you both on a week’s restriction.” Everything from Ael’s expression to posture as she sat beside him told Movar his youngest was about to crumble like spent coal to ash. Releasing some of the anger out through a sigh and momentarily closed eyes, Movar folded Ael into an embrace.

“I-I’m so sorry,” Ael cried into his chest. “I never m-meant to lie or keep anything from you. I swear that I’ll n-never do either again.”

“Nor will I,” promised T’Rul. “I apologize for my part in this incident, Father. You’re correct: I _do_ know better.”

“We’re forgiven, right?” Ael tearfully asked. Admittedly, she was worried that this time, she wouldn’t be.

“Of course,” her father assured. “I would never withhold forgiveness from either of you.” Ael sagged against him in relief. “Now, I feel I must ask: Have there been any other incidents of which I should be made aware?”

“Yes,” T’Rul said immediately. “What happened, a day after Taelis paid the home an unannounced visit, is the main reason why I contacted Tehlina about Ael’s aesthetic changes.”

“We were walking up to Leinarrah,” said Ael with a sniffle. “T’Rul and I stumbled on some teenagers playing a game in a field, D’elo, I think. The oldest boy noticed us watching, noticed that I wasn’t what I should have been, being on this planet and all. T’Rul, um, she had to pull her Honor Blade to protect me.”

“A bully, nothing more, that one,” said T’Rul. “His skill with a weapon was amateurish at best.”

Another scolding for both daughters sat just on the tip of Movar’s tongue. He doubted Ael could take another without falling to pieces. Taking a deep breath to ward off snapping harshly, he asked, “Did anyone leave the altercation injured?”

“I got hurt,” Ael answered honestly, recounting what happened.

“I left the fight uninjured, but the boy who instigated it didn’t. He limped away from the brawl with a sprained wrist, dislocated shoulder, and blood dripping from his throat. We _did_ attempt to walk away from the grouping, but the oldest in the group simply would not have it. He pulled his blade, threatened Ael and I both. I had no choice.”

“A second lie by omission of truth,” Movar said with a sigh. “My words from before will now be echoed: T’Rul, you know better than to keep something like this from me. Ael, now you know as well. If anything like the two incidents you have described, ever repeats themselves in the future, come to me immediately. If I am not at home, contact HQ and they will send a transmission through. Am I understood, ladies?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“My word, Father.”

“I just didn’t want you to worry about me so much, you know? I seem to have so many more bad days than good, days where I cry for no reason at all, nights when I can’t sleep because I fear something awful is waiting for me in the dark, like tonight. I jump out of my skin at loud noises, startle if someone’s tone of voice isn’t perfectly level. And now, Elements only know what new trauma I get thrust on my shoulders. I’m sorry, Daddy, sorry that I was so stupid. I love you so much yet I lied to you. I-I don’t blame you if you never, um, trust me again.”

Movar was quick to soothe Ael before she could dissolve into tears. “You had a lapse in judgment,” he said. “That does not make you stupid, Ael, it makes you as fallible, as _Romulan_ as anyone else. And neither of you has lost my trust.”

“I just didn’t want you to worry.”

“It is inherent for a father to worry about his daughters,” he said gently. “Now, there are no further incidents to report?”

“No, Father,” T’Rul answered. “Those were the only two incidents. You have my word.”

“I’m never going outside again,” Ael mumbled, wrapping the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

“Certainly not after sundown, not without someone beside you,” Movar said seriously.

Ael nodded in agreement, content to sit quietly wrapped both cozily in the blanket, safely in her father’s arms. She had nearly fallen into a doze when her father made mention of a perimeter sweep, to make absolutely certain no one else lurked outside where they didn’t belong.

“T’Rul,” said Movar, keeping his voice low and quiet. “Stay with your sister until I return. I will not be gone long.”

“No, you can’t go out there.” Ael suddenly felt wide awake, sitting up fast, clamping her hand down tight on his tunic.

“For the safety of the family, my winged one, I must. A perimeter sweep is vital after such an incident. I will take great care while outside.”

“I-I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“He’ll be all right,” T’Rul attempted to soothe. “He’s very highly military trained, and has sharp senses.”

“That doesn’t make him invincible,” Ael said loudly.

The sound of sedate boot falls on the hardwood halted the conversation, three pairs of eyes staring at Sela as she stood in the entryway, a disruptor pistol in her hand. Through bleary vision, Ael noted Sela’s serious expression, could see a hint of puffiness around her lower eyes, indicative she’d possibly been crying.

 _I didn’t know she even knew how to cry_ , Ael thought.

“What do _you_ want?” T’Rul asked rudely. “Should you not be on your way _out_ by now?”

Ignoring T’Rul’s comment, Sela said, to Movar, in a business-like tone, “I am offering my assistance for the perimeter sweep.”

“Why is that?” T’Rul demanded coldly before her father could answer. “So you can convene with a friend in the bushes, tell them how to get through our security system a second time, so Ael can be dragged away another night, stolen from her bed through her bedroom window?”

“I had nothing to do with Ael’s attack, T’Rul,” Sela said loudly. “For the time being,” she stole a glance at Movar, “this is still my home. And while it is so, I have an obligation to protect it and its inhabitants.”

“Do you hear this nonsense?” T’Rul asked her father, placing hands on her hips. “How else could anyone manage to get through the front gates, bypass the security grid, without help from someone who knew the passcodes. We’ve _never_ had a reason for extremely tight security measures before, Sela, and now we’re likely to bring in armed guards to make sure we stay safe. It’s also hardly a secret that you hate Ael, wish her dead.”

“Enough,” Movar commanded sternly, bringing an immediate halt to the new quarrel in progress.

On her feet, standing beside her father and holding tight to his hand, Ael tipped her head confusedly, staring at Sela. Had she been the one to allow someone to penetrate the home’s defenses, or was she innocent of all charges?

 _That look in her eyes,_ Ael thought to herself. _She’s been crying, I think, and she looks deeply upset, offended even, over T’Rul accusing her of doing anything to hurt me. She may not like me but Daddy and T’Rul are still, somehow, her family. Elements, what am I doing?_ “Daddy, I believe her,” Ael said softly. Tugging on his hand to make him bend down, she whispered into his ear, “Look at her eyes. I-I don’t think she’s lying to you.”

It was a startling thing to hear Ael say she believed anything out of Sela’s mouth. Indulging her, Movar stepped over to where Sela stood waiting and stared directly into her eyes, Ael still clinging tight to his hand. The eyes were but the windows to the soul, or so it was said, and Movar had seen many things in Sela’s blue eyes over the years: Hatred, anger, discontentment, loathing; those were the main things he had come to see over the past three decades at least. Sela had always been easy to read, a single look in her eyes had always been enough. A deeper look, now, yielded a woman who felt deeply wronged, thanks to the accusatory words T’Rul had said only minutes ago. Something else sat there too, something he couldn’t make out. It bothered him more than he cared to admit.

There would be time to contemplate it all later. For now, they had a perimeter to sweep.

“I will allow your assistance,” Movar said at last. “Two pairs of eyes are better than one.” T’Rul looked dumbfounded at her father’s decision, almost offended though she said nothing against it. “However, this sudden willingness to assist in a protective sweep of the home’s grounds may have no influence on what my decision will be, regarding you and your future. Am I clear?” Uncharacteristically silent, Sela nodded. “Good. I will make my way around the right of the perimeter, you, the left. If you find anyone lurking where they should not be, kill on sight.”

“Understood.”

“Then let us go.” A softly-spoken word to Ael who tentatively released his hand and stepped back allowed Movar to head for the front door, Sela two steps behind.

“It feels like the walls are closing in.” Without her father near, Ael felt severely unsettled, vulnerable, distinctly unsafe. Not even when T’Rul led her back to the couch to sit, wrapped her in a pair of warm arms did Ael’s thoughts shift away from the anxious dread sitting in the pit of her stomach.

“He’ll be okay, a’rhea,” T’Rul soothed. “Is there anything that I can get for you, besides Father, I mean?”

“I-I don’t kn -”

The wind chose that moment to howl ferociously through the trees, their branches clawing at the windows in the other room as if seeking to gain entry to the home. Panicked, Ael pushed away from T’Rul and took to her feet, dashing toward the front door yelling for her father all the while.

T’Rul barely caught Ael by the arm in time, the front door, now, hanging open. “Ael, stop, it’s OK!”

“Are you crazy?” Ael yelped. “Of course, it isn’t OK!” A hand clutching her chest, Ael’s breaths suddenly came in staggered gasps, her skin felt cold, clammy, her heart racing. “T’Rul, whats…?” _Daddy, please, hurry!_

“You’re having an anxiety attack. Focus on breathing, like we do when meditating. In deep through your nose, hold for two, exhale slowly through your mouth. Follow my lead, Ael, focus on me.”

By the front door is where the two sisters stayed for the better part of twenty minutes, Ael having regained a measure of calm by the time Sela and Movar stepped through the door still slightly ajar. Ael instantly went to his side and clung tightly; T’Rul explained what had happened, why they were so near the front door, to begin with rather than still in the foyer.

“I have a feeling this incident is going to see Ael clinging to you night and day,” T’Rul said. “I think it is safe to say you’ve found a replacement shadow.”

“Indeed so.” Wrapping an arm around Ael, Movar could feel her heart beating a mile a minute. “The perimeter of the home is secure. Our security grid has also been restored to functional. There is nothing more to fear tonight.”

Ael begged to differ, holding tight to her father during the walk down the hall, T’Rul veering off towards the kitchen to prepare a cup of warm spiced milk for her sister. Settled on her father’s lap with his arm around her, head on his shoulder became Ael’s chosen refuge. Green eyes open, staring blankly at an invisible spot on the wall, trembling from cold though she felt too hot to stand it; it was fair to say Ael was something of a mess. Not even when Sela stepped quietly into the room did Ael glance up. Movar did, though, watching as Sela sat in one of the chairs, blue eyes fixated on Ael. The strange expression in Sela’s eyes had returned, Movar certain he saw a hint of regret sitting there amidst the ever-present anger.

A confusing thing to see indeed.

A minute later and Sela spoke. “What do you wish me to do?” A simple question, one she likely already knew the answer to, but that answer neglected to come. Instead of a cold, cruel voice telling her to vacate the premises, Sela found herself graced with a calm, neutral tone and a stare to match.

“You may retire to your room for the evening,” said Movar. “There will be further discussion in the morning.”

Sela nodded once and vacated her chair, and the sitting room.

T’Rul returned shortly after Sela’s departure with a cup of warm spiced milk with honey, Ael giving the cup a disinterested glance. “I’m not thirsty.”

“It will help calm your nerves,” T’Rul insisted. “I made this cup a little differently than normal. It will help you rest.”

“Nothing will help,” Ael insisted.

“Come, Ael,” Movar said gently, accepting the cup from T’Rul, passing it down to the occupant on his knee. “Just a few sips.”

“What if it _does_ help?” The question was posed so softly the words were nearly missed altogether. “I already deal with nightmares as it is. After tonight, I’m sure to have new ones. A-and what if I fall asleep and someone gets in the house, taking me, hurting either of you?”

“I understand your fears, Ael, and they are just, but I will be beside you for the duration of the night, my gaze vigilant. No one will enter this home without my knowledge; I can safely make that promise.”

Slowly, Ael began to drink the offered milk, the taste the same as it always was, mildly spicy, laced with honey, frothy, warm, a big dose of comfort come at exactly the right moment. Normally, a cup of “comfort milk” would relax her steadily. This time it felt different, like the warm liquid was pulling her backward and away from reality, right into sleep’s firm grip. The liquid half drained, Ael dropped off to sleep, Movar careful to keep a hand around the cup to avoid it dropping to the floor and spilling the remaining contents.

T’Rul sighed with relief when she no longer saw fear on Ael’s face. “Hopefully, she sleeps through the night.”

“As do I. Am I correct in assuming that an extra ingredient found its way into your sister’s cup?”

“Yes. I slipped in a mild sedative. I doubt she would have been able to fall asleep without it. Most likely, she would have sat awake the entire night in terror, panicking at every last noise she heard in the night.”

“The sedative was a wise decision,” he said, leaning forward to place the cup on the table, rising to his feet with Ael in his arms. “Speaking of wise decisions, I think it is time I put this young lady to bed.”

“I’m going to prepare a cup of tea and read for a while. Goodnight, Father. Rest well when you do.”

“And you.”

A quick stop by Ael’s room to collect a certain stuffed tiger and it was off to the upstairs master suite. Dead to the world, Ael found herself tucked into the large bed, Mr. Mittens beside her. Instinctively, an arm came around the old stuffed cat and pulled it close.

Smoothing back Ael’s hair, Movar gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Sleep well, my winged one.”

Ael stirred lightly, unable to open her eyes, mumbling a soft, almost incoherent “I love you, Daddy,” before falling back to sleep.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**_I feel like I’ve been run down by a squadron of drunken Klingons fighting over the last tankard of bloodwine._ **

**Still half asleep, I pitifully groaned at the soreness raging from head to toe, carefully rolling from side to stomach. The effort of moving made the unbelievable soreness worse. I buried my face half in the pillow, half in Mr. Mittens’ ratty fur and groaned again. Temples throbbing, especially the left, I slowly opened my eyes and lifted my head, squinting at the clock on the nightstand through the dimness.**

**Midday.**

**Instead of sitting bolt upright, wondering how I could have ever slept so late, and just why was the room still so dark even though the curtains were drawn, I flopped back down on the large bed and pulled the quilt over my head. A half an hour later and I woke again, from a nightmare that saw me attempting to flee multiple attackers all at once, coming up short no matter which way I went. This time, instead of waking up slowly, groaning in discomfort, I flailed around with the quilt still over my head, crying out for help.**

**Having come in the room not long after I’d fallen asleep the second time, Daddy, in the adjoining study, heard my muffled cries, witnessed me flailing around, fighting with the blanket, and tumbling right out of bed to land in a frightened, undignified heap on the floor.**

**“I have you, Ael, I am here,” he said, removing the blanket, offering a hand, pulling me carefully up to my feet. Instantly, I fell into his arms, choking back sobs I desperately wanted to release. Doing his best to soothe my frazzled nerves, Daddy allowed me to get my bearings, offering me a drink of water from the glass on the nightstand. Holding the glass so shakily I feared it might crash to the floor, I took a little sip.**

**“It’s not enough to feel like I’ve been run over by a warbird, is it?” I said, placing the glass back down before I really did drop it. “Now, I apparently have new nightmares to add into my nightly rotation.” I felt angry, annoyed, almost humiliated. _You’re some Romulan, aren’t you?_ I thought bitterly.**

**“Until a short while ago, you had been sleeping peacefully. I am grateful you were able to rest.”**

**So was I. For the majority of the night, there had been nothing in the way of dreams, at least nothing I could remember. Maybe it was best I didn’t. “I kept you awake all night, didn’t I?” Now, I just felt bad.**

**“Do not fret, my winged one,” he said, giving me a little squeeze. “It is not the first time I have gone without sleep. Romulans, like all Vulcanoids, are capable of going for upwards of ten to twelve days without sleep, if necessary. One night without rest will do me no harm.”**

**Sitting me down on the bed, which was probably a good idea since my legs were beginning to wobble, Daddy took to inspecting my left temple. “Is the left side of my head and face bruised as badly as it feels like?”**

**“Unfortunately,” he said. “In time, the bruises will fade. I am more concerned about your vision, however.”**

**“The vision in both eyes in kind of blurred right now,” I said honestly. “Aside from only just waking up, I’m also teary-eyed.”**

**“Understood,” he said with a nod, allowing further time in which to banish the bleariness before assessing my vision, deciding if a doctor’s visit was necessary.**

**“Ugh,” I said with a sniffle, glancing down. “I need a bath and a change of clothes.” Still in my dress from the evening before, dirt-stained, rumpled, and with a hint of blood on the collar, my bare arms just as dirty, my complexion a darker shade than normal; I suddenly felt worse than sore. I felt horribly dirty, could feel every last ounce of grime coating my skin. I probably had a leaf in my hair, maybe a twig.**

**“Come,” Daddy said, standing, offering me a hand up. “I will escort you to your room so that you may wash and change clothing.”**

**Clean skin, freshly washed hair, clothing unstained by blood, dirt, and now that I inspected my front half closer, what looked to be vomit; it would definitely bolster my mood to be cleaner.**

**Down the hall and down the stairs, to my room in no time at all; I lingered in the doorway, content to idly fidget with the translator around my wrist. I could see the door to the washroom from where I stood, where a shower, then a long soak in the tub with fragrant bath salts awaited me, soft towels and clean clothes for after. Leaving Daddy’s side, though, felt next to impossible.**

**Remembering how close I came to death the evening before, what I could see as I’d been in the process of being dragged away from home, my gaze flew to my bedroom window. Golden light streamed in through the section of curtains that were pulled back, spilling a patch of warmth on the floor. Terror seized me. What if someone lurked just beyond the window, where I couldn’t see them? What if I pulled my curtains aside and looked through; would there be an unknown face peering back at me, a disruptor pistol peeking out through the foliage, ready to vaporize me in a flash of green light?**

**There was no way I could stay in this room alone, not for a single second. “Could you get T’Rul to stay with me?”**

**“I can. Will you be all right, here, by yourself for a few minutes?”**

**Stepping away from the door and back out into the hall, I put my back against the wall and nodded. There were no windows here, no way for anyone to sneak up on me from behind.**

**Five minutes later and T’Rul rounded the corner, a worried look on her face, and a cup of steaming hot tea in her hands. “Father said you needed someone to stay near for a while.”**

**“Yeah, too scared to go in my room,” I said with a nervous, slightly embarrassed laugh. “Who knows what’s lurking in the bushes outside the window,” I said a bit more seriously. “I can’t even stand to _look_ at my window if you want to know the truth, let alone peek through.”**

**“I’m certainly glad I looked through it, last night,” T’Rul said. I made her tell me what she meant. After she explained what happened, what she had both heard and seen, how she’d been the one to run to Daddy’s office, alerting him to danger, to save me from harm, I hugged her. I jumped forward so fast I almost knocked the teacup out of her hand.**

**“Thank you,” I said. “If you hadn’t heard the noise, thought to come into my room and listen…”**

**“I’m just thankful you are all right. Had Father and I lost you, I don’t know what we’d have done.” I couldn’t stand hearing her voice nearly break, so I squeezed her tight.**

**Into my room where I sat at my desk, T’Rul placing the cup of tea beside me. I retrieved a little hand mirror from my desk drawer and finally had a look at the area where I’d been pistol-whipped, twice, the evening before. Purple, blue, green with a hint of yellow; all were colors decorating above my left eye, across a portion of my forehead, and down my left cheek.**

**“No wonder it hurts,” I said, putting the mirror away.**

**“Would you like an analgesic? I can go fetch one if you -”**

**“No!” I said a bit louder than I’d meant, panic rising at the thought of her leaving for even a moment. “Sorry, I can wait till after. It’s not too bad,” I lied with a smile. She didn’t quite buy it.**

**“We can wait until after you have bathed, certainly. Here, try the tea. It should help soothe your nerves a bit.”**

**“So, what’s been happening this morning?” I asked a bit too cheerily, changing the subject, sipping the pale pink tea that tasted like strawberries and mint.**

**“Nothing terribly exciting, unless you count an upgrade to the security system that will be taking place in another hour or so. That, and Father is still entertaining the idea of bringing in soldiers to stand guard around the perimeter. Tal’shiar soldiers,” she added.**

**“Well, we’d certainly be safe, I guess,” I said. No one in their right mind trifled with Tal’shiar anything unless they had a personal death wish. Still, I found the idea of multiple armed soldiers around the estate, unsettling. Would they be inside as well as out, watching everyone around the clock?**

**“I’m not terribly keen on the idea, either,” T’Rul admitted. “One soldier standing watch overnight, possibly swapping out with one during the day hours, all right, we’d get used to it in time. Enough to station at the front gates, every entrance and viable point around the perimeter? Father may as well call in an entire platoon.”**

**Sipping at the tea, eyes still warily upon the window, I changed the subject. “Is Sela still here? I’m just curious.”**

**“ _Unfortunately_ ,” said T’Rul, annoyed. **

**“Really?” I set down the teacup. “That’s surprising. That look on your face; has she been especially irritating this morning or something?”**

**“Strangely enough, no.” Folding her arms, T’Rul leaned back against the wall by the door. “You should have seen her at first meal. There has never been a time in my life where I have seen that woman so quiet and reserved. There were no nasty words, no irritated mumblings; I didn’t see a single rude stare, and she didn’t behave as though Father and I were there to cater to her every whim. She sat silently at the table, ate half of what was on her plate, stared blankly into space for ten minutes, and then excused herself away. I haven’t seen her since.”**

**“Daddy hasn’t said what he’s doing with her, then? I mean, last night at dinner, after he hauled off and slapped her; he disowned her, T’Rul.”**

**“Both deserved and long-coming,” she said, then sighed. While I heard yelling coming from the direction of Father’s office, I have to admit I don’t know what was said. I suppose it’s _possible_ she begged just enough to make Father relent on his stance.” She shook her head. “The more I think about it, the more I might know exactly why Father has allowed her to stay. Maybe. It isn’t important just now.”**

**Tipping my head both confused and curiously, I said, “OK,” and didn’t pry further. I just didn’t have the energy. T’Rul finally coerced me to go have a wash, which I reluctantly did. It wasn’t like I could drag her into the washroom with me. “Don’t move, I’ll hurry,” I said, grabbing a set of lounging robes to take in with me.**

**“Take your time,” she said, pulling a PADD from her pocket. “I can keep myself busy for a while with this.”**

**I think I showered in record time, lingering under the hot water just long enough to try and do my aches and pains some sort of good. A soak in the tub probably would have been a better idea. Too bad I couldn’t handle being alone for any real length of time.**

**As I dried and dressed, thoughts of the future came to mind. No longer did I have confident, unwavering thoughts of how great I could be, the things I could do for the Empire if given half a chance. If any military academy would even accept me like this, traumatized, skittish, I’d be a damn laughing stock, the butt of every cruel joke ever invented. Not even Daddy would be able to help me with a military career if all I could do was startle at every noise and shadow.**

**I sighed. At least I had five years to try and heal from a portion of the trauma, new and old alike before I had to think about my Serona period. Stuffing my hair into a messy ponytail, I stepped out of the washroom, relief flooding over me when I saw T’Rul sitting on the bed, PADD in hand.**

**“I’m still here,” she said, smiling reassuringly. “I think you may have set a speed record for the fastest shower ever taken.”**

**“Pretty sure,” I agreed, batting away a tendril of hair that had broken free of my ponytail and decided it desperately needed to harass my face. At my sudden hair troubles, T’Rul offered to braid it. A new hairstyle soon in place, we headed in search of some pain relief for me, and then down to the kitchen to see what we could do for midday meal, running into Daddy along the way.**

**“I can put together something simple, don’t worry,” T’Rul said, leaving me with Daddy in the sitting room, where I stayed with him like we were glued together at the hip.**

**“I know,” I began. “My clinginess has gone up several notches.”**

**“After last night, I expected it,” he said. “You suffered a traumatic experience, one which will take time to recover from. I understand that.”**

**“What if I never recover? It seems like, for every good thing that comes, three bad things come rushing in after it. Romulan or otherwise; how much trauma can one person take on their shoulders? I’m only fifteen. How do I deal with this debilitating fear, the panic that rises into my chest, squeezes my heart tight when I think of being in a room where you are T’Rul are not? I may as well resign whatever future I might have had,” I continued on, upset. “How can anyone possibly overcome this much pain and fear?”**

**Cupping my chin, Daddy looked me the eyes and said, “One day at a time.” Wise yet simple words. I needed to face each day as it dawned, conquering it to the best of my ability, moving on to the next. Setbacks would undoubtedly come, and I might even have more bad days than good for a while. Still, Daddy assured me it was worth pressing forward, promising me that he and T’Rul would always have my back.**

**While we were waiting for T’Rul to call us into the dining room, Daddy took a few minutes to assess my vision. All clear. Thank something.**

**We were called into the dining room a few minutes later. I noticed Sela already sitting at the table, one seat down from my usual spot, staring almost blankly at a PADD. A little wary to sit beside her, I allowed Daddy to lead me to my usual chair where I slowly sat, casting a little glance to the right. Sela never even looked at me, though the PADD found its way into her pocket when a platter of delicious-looking sandwiches made their way around the table.**

**After I took one, I passed the tray over to Sela who nodded at me, I guess as a way of saying “thank you”. A part of me was shocked she didn’t complain about the meal in question. It definitely wasn’t as fancy as she might have been used to at the other estate, the one teeming with servants.**

**There was very little chatter over lunch, though I suppose I really had nothing to say. Sela didn’t appear to, either. Maybe she was suddenly afraid to speak, on her absolute last chance in the history of chances given, certain that if she dared open her mouth to say anything, something rude might come flying out, sealing her fate. I supposed there was also the chance Sela felt too tired from the evening before and had lost the energy necessary to be nasty. She certainly looked sleep deprived, maybe a little lost.**

**“Um, Sela,” I found myself asking, reaching out as if to touch her arm, pulling back at the last second. “Are you OK?” I think everyone at the table stopped mid-chew, staring at me like I’d sprouted a second head, maybe a tail, then moved their gazes to Sela as she turned and looked at me.**

**After a moment, she said, in a quieter tone than normal, “I am fine,” then turned back to her plate. Though her voice lacked conviction, she definitely wasn’t fine at all, I didn’t pry.**

**_From angry, violent outbursts to sudden quietness, appearing “lost”. What were you told, I wonder? You know, Sela_ ** **, I thought as I ate my lunch, _I wish I had the courage to ask you about you, not that you would tell me anything. Why be jealous of me, if you ever even were? You’d think, the both of us pale-skinned, red-blooded, Romulan deep down where it matters, that we would have gotten along a bit better than this. But you’re mad at everyone for some reason, mad at the whole damn world. I wish I knew your story, why you hated me so damn much._**

**Those thoughts were better kept private. Not even sure why I was having them to begin with, I attempted to quiet my mind and finish eating. Sela finished first and excused herself from the table, casting a strange glance at me before she left the room. I couldn’t blame her. It probably wasn’t every day that someone, let alone me, asked how she felt. Daddy and T’Rul began speaking about the security system upgrade, and I heard her wonder if we really needed a platoon of soldiers standing guard twenty-five-point-five hours a day, ten days a week. I tuned out most of their conversation, one that switched gears when I hadn’t been paying particularly close attention.**

**Only when I heard him say, “I need you to keep watch over Ael while I am away this afternoon,” did I come hurtling back into the present.**

**“I will, Father,” she said.**

**“Where are you going?” I asked calmer than I felt. I squeezed my napkin hard beneath the table. Daddy and T’Rul traded a look, probably wondering if they should tell me anything more.**

**“I must pay a visit to Taelis this afternoon,” Daddy said, making me wish he’d chosen to lie to me instead. He could have said something about needing to go into the city, for work, and I totally would have bought it. Now, as far as my overworking brain was concerned, I needed to lose what was left of my sanity.**

**“Wait, _what_?” I burst in surprise, panic rising into my chest.  OK, so I still needed him in my field of vision more often than not, but it felt more than that. Confronting that nasty old woman? What if she expected him to come, had an unexpected surprise at the ready, perhaps a group of ruffians in hiding, waiting to strike? What if he never came home?**

**What if, what if, what if!**

**Momentarily, my hands pawed at my head, attempting to find a rational thought against the constant, sudden influx of noise. “You can’t go!” I said much louder than necessary. Eyes wide, palms slick with sweat, complexion so pale everyone likely thought I’d just seen a ghost; a racing heart, cold to the touch yet sweating, ragged breaths.**

**T’Rul hurried over, attempting to focus my attention elsewhere. “She’s panicking,” she announced as if Daddy had never seen someone in the throes of a panic attack before. “Ael, look at me. Breathe. It’s OK.”**

**“It is _not_ OK!” I bellowed. Shrugging off T’Rul’s hand I jumped from my seat and turned to the one person who had the power to make everything all right, placed my hands on his shoulders and begged, I mean _begged_ him not to leave. Every single “what if” spilled out of my mouth; I became more and more worked up by the second. I’m shocked I didn’t bring up the sandwich I’d only just eaten. The only thing that saved me from being sedated by T’Rul from behind was when I wrapped my arms around Daddy’s neck and started sobbing.**

**“Father,” T’Rul said softly as I clung to Daddy and cried like a child. “Perhaps it would be a wise idea to postpone the meeting with Taelis, at least until tomorrow. I do understand that sooner is better, however, Ael will likely need sedation if you try and leave her side today.”**

**Daddy quietly agreed, focused on calming me, an arduous task at that moment. Holding me protectively close, I heard him say it would all be “all right”. I almost laughed through my tears.**

**I honestly wasn’t sure that anything would be “all right” ever again.**

**And that, at least to me, worth weeping about.**

**…**

The rest of the day and the following one all passed without incident, Ael refusing to leave her father’s side for more than minutes at a time. Despite urging herself to believe all would be well, her heart and mind constantly felt full to the brim with worry. The evening hours brought forth tediously long bouts of trying to find rest, almost never securing more than a half hour or so at a time. Curling up beside her father, old stuffed cat tucked beneath her chin seemed to be the only way sleep would come. Twice, she woke up screaming.

Ael’s daily routine came to a startling halt, no longer caring if she learned a lick of the language, she once wished with a fervent passion to learn, her violin remaining stowed in the closet. What studies she had asked for, now, days ago, remained on an untouched PADD in her top desk drawer, all but forgotten. Fear and uncertainty became a sudden constant in Ael’s thoughts, those two relentless powers attempting to strangle what might be left of any remaining courage.

On the third day, Movar stood firm in his decision to confront Taelis. It could no longer be postponed. As usual, Ael refused to detach from his hand, only this time, she felt she had a good reason.

“It’s more than being afraid to be apart from you,” Ael tried to explain. “I feel like I need to face her. I need to see what she does, hear what you will say, even the chance to say something myself. Since the attack on my life, I’ve been losing more and more of myself to fear. Daddy, I hate it. If I can hear someone defending my honor; if I can stand face-to-face with her and say even a little something, maybe it will help me let go of some of the fear.” Lifting her chin in a slightly defiant expression, Ael, again, asked if she might come, restore what courage she could find even if only a little. “Honor and courage mean everything to a Romulan,” she finished, winning the battle, allowed to confront Taelis at her father’s side.

On the short walk to the flitter, Ael appraised her father, noting his high-collared, dark-colored, gold-etched, broad-shouldered jacket emblazoned with the family crest on the left side of the collar. The burgundy sash around his waist, adorned with the same markings, secured a finely tooled sheath at his left hip, an Honor Blade resting inside. Black trousers, perfectly pressed, polished boots to match; Ael had rarely seen him appear so perfectly polished.

 _He’s definitely showing off his status_ , she thought. _Maybe it will be enough to make Taelis back off._ Then she remembered Taelis had been dressed to the nines during her impromptu visit, and Ael hd to figure her father’s status might not matter to her after all. If it had, Ael doubted she would have ever been threatened by the old woman to begin with.

Taelis’s home took nearly an hour to reach by flitter, Ael’s brow creasing in confusion when she saw the dwelling for the first time. Tentatively, scarcely believing they had the right address, Ael took a step forward, then turned to stare up at her father.

“ _This_ is where she lives? Are you sure?”

A small, drab-looking house sat perched on a little hill, a weathered stone path leading the way from the main road to the door. What flora Ael could see seemed to be on its last legs, wilted flowers barely remaining upright on crooked stems, bushes olive drab, lackluster. Overgrown weeds that grew right up to the windows on the left side of the home; all of it made the dwelling look abandoned, uncared for at the very least. It also felt highly unwelcoming.

“In the past, no,” said Movar, Ael’s confusion driving deeper. “Taelis is estranged from most of her immediate family,” he explained. “Such an estrangement has meant the loss of a good portion of what wealth and status she once had. She attempts to keep up appearances to the best of her ability, normally only while in the public’s eye.”

“Definitely doesn’t care about living in a hovel,” Ael muttered.

“Indeed,” said Movar dryly.

“Maybe I should have stayed home after all,” Ael said, taking hold of her father’s hand. “This place seriously gives me the creeps. There aren’t even any birds singing out here. That alone should say something.”

“Do not fear, my winged one,” he said reassuringly, squeezing Ael’s hand. “I will not allow you to come to harm. Stay close to me and be mindful.”

Nodding, Ael took a deep breath and began the ascent up the path to the weather-beaten door with its chipped paint. Summoning her courage, Ael chose to be the one to knock.

Both father and daughter could see the eyes of someone watching them through the front window long before the door opened a crack, Taelis staring coldly through it. Cool grey eyes moved to Ael and stayed there, narrowing hatefully as they appraised her. The last time Taelis had set eyes on this girl, she had been but a human through and through. Now, she appeared as Romulan as any other, save for the bright hair and eye color, the horribly pale skin that would burn to a crisp if out in the sun for more than a minute. Truth be told, she had been expecting a personal visit from Movar, to be questioned, possibly even threatened herself, but to bring this human creature so near her dwelling. How _dare_ he.

“What do you want?” Taelis asked rudely, though she already knew.

“The reason for my unannounced visit should be quite obvious,” Movar began, tempted to forcefully push the door open the rest of the way.

“T’Rul told him what you said to me, that day you paid us a visit,” Ael said, feeling bold. She chose to say nothing of her most recent attack, just in case.

Taelis swept her gaze over to Ael, fixing the teenager with a glare worse than any even Sela could have given her. Corners of her mouth twitching, Taelis’s lips pulled up in a cruel smile. The sight of it made Ael feel queasy.

“Of course, she did,” said Taelis, opening the door wide and stepping out, dressed like she was on her way to some grand gala. Ael very nearly laughed at the sight. “She is far more loyal to you than most would consider safe.” Turning from Ael to Movar, she glanced down, noting the Honor Blade at his hip. “The reason for your visit is glaringly obvious. Am I correct in assuming you are here to restore someone’s lost honor?”

“In part,” he responded, Taelis interrupting before he could say more.

“Though I feel I must ask: Why is this child’s honor of any importance? You and yours are the only two who likely classify her as having any honor at all. Why do you feel such an undying loyalty to her, General? Surely, someone of your status, rank, should know better.”

“Take great care, Taelis,” Movar said his voice low. “You are on severely dangerous ground enough as it is.” Most of the world’s inhabitants knew better than to verbally challenge anyone with Movar’s rank and status; the words “Tal’shiar” were usually enough to make the average citizen avert their eyes, stuff their hands in their pockets, keep their unwanted opinions silent lest they disappear. “Or do you prefer to poke the wolves and see if you can survive what assault may come from the pack?”

“I think the wolves are going to tear out her throat,” said Ael coldly, earning her a nasty stare from Taelis.

“Indeed,” said Movar. “The fact I have adopted Ael into my family, my Home, call her daughter; those seem to be things you are unable to stomach. I advise you to learn how and quickly.”

Taelis rolled her eyes and folded her arms, shaking her head in both annoyance and disbelief. “How can a man of your caliber be so incredibly naive?”

“Do enlighten me, Taelis.”

“You of all people should be acutely aware of the threat humans pose to our people. How can you not know of the damage they can do when they put their feeble little minds to it? When it comes to humans, that child who stands quivering at your side, appearing Romulan yet, still, very much different, you extend far too much trust. How many human defectors has our world had over the centuries, a dozen, two? How many of those so-called loyalists died in service to the Empire? Not a single one. They quickly became dissatisfied with the Romulan way of life, unable to stomach our absolute sense of morality, their duties to this great Empire. They always either attempt to flee back to their precious Federation or commit honor-less suicide at home in their beds. The only defector still in service to the Empire at present, DeSeve, is a stammering, skittish joke of a man who is ridiculed by even the “Scruffs” on their Serona. I hear his commander already suspects he’ll turn and flee, one day soon. How long do you give her?”

Instead of staying quiet, knowing how she’d asked, almost begged to come to this confrontation, Ael spoke up. Standing so close to her father, hand tightly in his gave her tremendous confidence.

“First,” she began, projecting her tone as fiercely as possible. “I am not _quivering_.” _Certainly not in front of you, old crone_. “Second, I am definitely not a defector. That term implies someone switches their allegiance, from one world to another. Lady, I’ve _never_ had any loyalties or allegiances to Earth or the Federation. None. I’ve been trying to get away from that wretched place, those untrustworthy souls since I could walk. I know _exactly_ where my loyalties lie, thanks. And so does my father. He’s not the fool you take him for.”

“My but you behave brazenly with your protector standing there, do you not, little one?” Taelis said with a condescending smile.

“And you’re incredibly stupid,” Ael shot back.

The condescending smile on Taelis’s face vanished. Sneering at Ael, she turned back to address Movar. “This child may proclaim undying loyalty to both Home and Empire but one day, you know those loyalties will shift. There is only so long a human mind can handle Romulan ways.”

“You have always been more paranoid than most,” he said. “And you would be wise to heed this warning: Mind what you say about my children especially when one of them happens to be in my presence.”

Taelis scoffed the warning altogether. Ael figured the old woman must be missing a few brain cells to behave so foolishly. “Or you will kill me?” It wasn’t quite a question but Taelis posed it as one regardless. “In front of this child who already bears the burden of one trauma too many, you would pull your blade, run me through and leave me to bleed in the doorway of my home?” _You have not the nerve, not in front of her,_ Taelis said through her stare.

“Try him,” Ael said seriously. “Honestly, I’m a little shocked that you haven’t already been skewered. Keep speaking about me as though I’m a worm beneath your shoe, not even standing here; keep speaking so rudely to and about my father and I just might do something to you myself.” Though she hadn’t been quivering before, she was now, the sudden rage she felt in her stomach overriding the fear for the first time in days. To say it felt overwhelming, was a bit of an understatement. Movar squeezed his daughter’s hand in reassurance, and then placed it on her shoulder to ask her to hold silent.

“Brazen indeed,” Taelis said coolly. “So, General, what more must happen before you realize the danger this child poses to not only our world but our way of life? How many more pure-bloods will have to die while you and yours continue to offer steadfast protection?”

 _How many more pure-bloods will have to die?_ Movar ran those words over and over in his head. Other than the threat on Ael’s life, one that Taelis herself made, no one had yet made mention of Ael being nearly dragged away from home one evening, or that Movar had been forced to execute someone on his estate’s grounds. There shouldn’t have been any way she could have known about that one death, not unless, somehow, she played a part in the scheme to have Ael stolen away.

“It appears my initial instincts were indeed correct,” said Movar. “I have not yet mentioned the attack Ael suffered a few evenings ago, inside the walls of my estate. There was a loss of life that night, a loss you seem to know something about.” Things might just be about to get messy. “After my daughter’s attack, when T’Rul informed me of what transpired during my absence, the threat you foolishly made against Ael, I came to the immediate conclusion you were somehow, in some way, responsible. Now, the question that begs to be asked is this: why have you, even subtly, admitted to it? A foolish move.”

“What is foolish, Movar, is your blind acceptance of this human,” Taelis spat, brandishing a finger at Ael who slapped it away from her face without thinking.

“If you have even a minuscule portion of sense left in you, I highly suggest using it to keep your mouth closed.” Movar’s voice took a dangerously deep turn, Ael nearly stepping backward due to how it suddenly projected. “You have crossed a line, Taelis, one that has taken you from dangerous ground to directly into the wolves’ den.” A hand rested on the hilt of his Honor Blade. Due to what had already been said, casually admitted to; the way Ael had further been dishonored, as well as his own motives coming under heavy fire, Movar was a second away from ending the old woman right where she stood.

“Yes, I am aware of exactly where it is, I stand,” Taelis assured. “Though I must confess, I do wonder why it is you have yet to draw your blade. Could it be this young one’s honor does not mean nearly as much as you claim? Or perhaps it is as simple as being unable to stomach the sight of her beloved father, cutting down a defenseless old woman.”

“Defenseless?” A disbelieving laugh split the air. Ael clamped her hand tightly over her mouth.

Taelis’s eyes narrowed in anger, darkening in hue from cool grey to storm cloud coloring in an instant. Standing tall, facing Movar, she said, “Others’ will try for her, General,” echoing the words of Ael’s attacker as he knelt in the dirt, disruptor muzzle pressed into the “V” on his forehead. “One of them will eventually succeed. If they do not, then perhaps another within your home’s walls will suffer the fate ultimately meant for her.”

The time for talk was finished. Movar stood on the edge of decision for several seconds, torn between slitting Taelis’s throat on her doorstep, or returning home to place a call, alerting one or two specific soldiers, specialists with the agency, to return to the old woman’s house under the cover of darkness, stealing her away for questioning, eventually, execution.

Ael came to a decision before her father, leaping forward fiercely, swinging a punch towards Taelis’s face. “You bitch!” Ael hollered. “You touch my sister and I’ll rip your throat open with my bare hands! Maybe I’ll do it now!”

While Movar had to secretly admit watching Ael attempt to tear out Taelis’s throat might be interesting to watch, he was quick to intervene before that point was reached. Ael felt justifiably angry, as did he, but the fact still remained that Taelis was biologically a Romulan with more than three times Ael’s strength. Catching Ael gently by the arms, Movar pulled her back. Ael fought him every second. There was no way he could pull his blade now, not when it took two hands to quell his daughter’s sudden rage.

Taelis made a grand show of dusting imaginary lint from her dress. “You are a Romulan general,” Taelis began calmly, ignoring Ael as she struggled against her father’s hold. “A Tal’shiar soldier next in line for the Vice Chairman’s position. You are also one of the most respected men in this world, the most feared within the quadrant. And though you wield such power, you have again chosen to take one of their kind into your home. This one seems to not even need a guard at her back.”

Bending, Movar whispered to Ael whose struggles began to quiet, though she remained shivering in anger.

“You have attempted to make her into one of us,” Taelis continued. “It is nothing more than a pathetic embarrassment to not only this great Empire but your clan as a whole. It is as I told T’Rul all of those days ago: You are going to make the same mistake twice where humans are concerned, and this time your actions might cost you far more than the life of a single loved one.”

 _Why do people keep saying that?_ Ael bellowed in her head. _Daddy,_ she wanted to ask, _what in the hell does she mean, “making the same mistake twice”? And who died?_

A single glance at her father’s face told that now wasn’t the best time to inquire about family history or past errors that may or may not have been made. Though his expression mostly read calm, it was the frightening, eerie sort of calmness that made Ael shiver. Eyes spoke of the building rage, like the beginnings of a storm as the clouds began to build before all hell broke loose and rained down.

Within moments, Movar released Ael from his hold, tore Honor Blade from its sheath, and had Taelis pinned against his front, one arm holding her tight across the chest, blade positioned at her throat, the barest hint of jade already trickling from beneath it.

“You have made one grave error too many,” he promised. “If you are capable of understanding only one thing, let it be this: Ael _is_ Romulan. No one has attempted to make her into anything she is not, for you cannot make something into that, which it already is.” The edge of the Honor Blade sank deeper into Taelis’s flesh; Ael could swear the old woman finally had a hint of fear in her cold grey eyes.

“Unlike you, Ael understands the concepts of respect and honor, loyalty and family. Ael _is_ Romulan; her soul, her heart, her mind is of our people, and the passionate burning spark of Fire that radiates from within her soul is something that will never be put to question.”

A great sense of pride washed over Ael as her father spoke. _Put the fear of the Elements into her,_ Ael thought. _Do to her exactly what she tried to have done to me._

“My life was threatened,” Ael cut in unexpectedly. “I was nearly stolen away from both home and family. You and one or two others whose paths I have crossed seem to think personal honor, mine especially, is something to shit on.” This one time, the swear didn’t bother her father one single bit. If you don’t like me, fine, I know most of the world doesn’t, and likely never will. That does not give you the right to constantly belittle my father, insulting his honor or my sisters. You think you can do what you want, say what you please, send some damn assassin or whatever he was to my home to take me away; it’s amazing how you assume none of that comes with any sort of rebuke. I guess you’re learning that’s not the case.”

Ael didn’t know where the words had come from, and though she longed to say more, she turned to her thoughts instead. _I may not feel as strong in heart as I was before my attack, but if Daddy says I am as Romulan as anyone else, I am going to do my best to believe it. I have to. What good am I to ever be if I can’t believe in myself the way he believes in me?_

“Out of words to counter with, Taelis?” Movar asked. His reply came in the form of a raspy gurgle, jade blood beginning to seep further down her neck. “Perhaps it is the realization of the consequences that stem from not only questioning, challenging a general and his motives but, also, for threatening his family.”

“Just end her,” Ael mumbled, refusing to wonder how she was viewing the spectacle and not frightened out of her wits, pale and vomiting somewhere in the brownish-colored weeds alongside the hovel.

“I am seriously considering it.” Movar tightened his grip on Taelis, lifting her head high with the edge of his blade, forcing her gaze to delve into his, allowing her to see a breed of seriousness, of anger she would not soon forget. “Whoever was sent to harm Ael has been made an example of; I should make one of you. If Ael suffers another attack or T’Rul a first; if you _ever_ question me or my motives again, insult the honor of anyone I hold dear, I will do far more than slit your throat and leave you to bleed out on your doorstep. I will do no less than order the demise of your entire clan and House, including those which whom you remain estranged. No one would dare question the order. Many would fall because of you and your hatred. You said I was the most feared general in the whole of the Alpha Quadrant, and now, Taelis, you understand I am _not_ to be trifled with.”

“Next time,” he continued, there will be no discussion, and you and everyone with whom you hold any ties will fade away and become but an echo in the darkness that no one will ever remember.”

Without another word Movar pulled the blade away from Taelis’s throat, forcing her to raise a hand to her neck and apply pressure to try and staunch the flow of blood leaking through her fingers and dripping on the stone at her feet. He pushed past, Taelis stumbling forward to rest heavily against the doorframe, refusing to meet Movar’s gaze, though she did, for a moment, meet Ael’s. Ael refused to allow it to intimidate her. Turning to her father who had taken a cloth from his pocket to wipe the blood from his blade, Ael announced she felt ready to return home.

“We are finished here,” he said, sheathing his blade, taking Ael’s hand. Ael glanced over her shoulder as they began their walk down the worn stone path. Taelis, as sorry as she appeared, wouldn’t die today.

The old Romulan woman would now live the remainder of her life, however long it lasted, in extreme paranoia, more than most Romulans would ever experience. Her nights would be spent huddled in her bed, head turning at every little creak of the hovel, wondering if tonight was the night she would be whisked away by one whose life was made by lurking in the shadows. For her to live in such fear, thinking that each new day might possibly be her last…

It was a fate worse than what Movar had nearly bestowed upon her.

What happened to Taelis now would be up to the world.


	24. Chapter 24

_Dear Journal,_

_I can’t sleep._

_Since that first attack on my life, nearly three ten-days ago now, this is the first time I’ve settled down to sleep outside of Daddy’s room. Every little sound makes me jump; the wind through the trees, the tiniest branches as they claw and scrape at the window, almost like fingers raking their way down the glass. I think I’ve nearly bolted from bed a dozen times now, wanting to flee to Daddy’s room with Mr. Mittens and my favorite blanket in tow. Each and every time, I’ve stopped myself, a voice in the back of my mind reminding that I am braver than this._

_Honestly, I feel like I’m losing myself more and more each day. It scares the hell out of me._

_Nearly two-and-a-half weeks ago, when I accompanied Daddy to confront Taelis at her home, a part of me felt astonishingly brave, far bolder than what I would have been on my own, I’m sure. Gathering every last ounce of courage, almost always holding Daddy’s hand tight when I spoke, I said what I so desperately needed to say on my own behalf. It went well enough, and though a part of me felt a bit jittery after the confrontation came to an end, I felt pretty darn good._

_Once we returned home, however, some weird feeling came over me, especially when it came time for bed. I stayed just behind the threshold of the entryway to my bedroom and stared at that window, like something horrific might be about to burst through it at any given moment. Eventually, I shook my head in an emphatic “not on your life!” and outright refused to bed down for the night in what had once been a safe place to rest._

_As I toddled off to Daddy’s room, tightly holding his hand in my left, dragging Mr. Mittens along in my right; I knew right then whatever progress I’d made through the confronting of Taelis, was gone. My fears felt fresh as ever. How could I have regressed so quickly? Even with the security system upgraded to what the praetor probably had keeping watch over his castle, minus a battalion of soldiers, I didn’t feel all that safe. Well, not unless Daddy stood close. Then, yeah, I felt a little bit better._

_One day at a time, right?_

_Each day feels like an eternity and a half. I’ve tried to keep up with things like my language lessons, learning to play the Romulan equivalent of the violin, even asking for some additional studies, something geared towards the career I wish to one day pursue. The language studies could be going better. If we’re too near a window with the curtains open, I can’t concentrate very well. I’m grateful it hasn’t again been suggested I leave my translator behind for another day or two as I had once before. At the rate the unease consumed me, I’d go to pieces if I couldn’t understand Daddy or T’Rul perfectly. Music lessons, well, I don’t sound quite so scratchy anymore. As for the studies I specifically requested, a PADD filled with strategy puzzles, ranging from simple to frustratingly difficult, have been about the only things keeping me sane. While Daddy spends his evenings working from his office, I sit on an overstuffed chair on the opposite side of his desk, attention on the puzzles on the PADD and nowhere else._

_A few days of the puzzles, beginning to feel a touch more confident, or so I thought, I brought up the subject of training. Not just fun and games down in the workout room, but actual, real training that would see me on the path to being able to, at the very least, defend myself in some small way._

_“I have to start sometime, don’t I?” I asked. “Daddy, I’m already way behind everyone else my age by at least a decade. Most are already in private training schools, can hold their own if push comes to shove. Me? I don’t think I could even handle a shove right now.” Taking a deep breath, I said, head high, “I want a training regimen.”_

_“And so, you shall have one,” he promised, adding in how training can often do wonders to bolster one’s confidence, can help succeed in pushing away the fear. By the next morning, he had constructed a training routine for me to begin, simple things, mostly, like proper positioning of stance, how not to drop your eyes away from those of your opponents. I think it would be a while before I could spar with T’Rul, or him, for that matter. Though the gravity difference on the world would gradually change my muscles, give me more strength than the average human, it would take years, and even then, I still might always be the weakest thing on two legs on all of Romulus. Only time would tell._

_After a week of what felt like the basics, I asked to try something different. Sorely unready to do any actual, “big deal” sparring, I felt like a change in routine. Daddy allowed it since he could see I was dragging, losing my focus, though reminded me “consistency is crucial.”_

_“What interests you,” T’Rul asked. She had been helping me alongside Daddy in getting down the basics. Her gaze traveled with mine, over to the corner where several weapons, mostly staves and short sticks, stood waiting. “I should have remembered,” she said with a smile. “Come, pick something that calls to you.”_

_Aside from a generic staff, I found a pair of what T’Rul called “Kana sticks” the most interesting to me. Handing me a pair of lightweight sticks, what I figured to be around fifteen inches long, she began to instruct me on the proper way to hold them, as well as the proper way to place my feet. I probably should have started with just the one stick._

_When I was finally beginning to feel better, if not playful, something I hadn’t been in over a week, our time in the training room took on a new life. The lesson complete, I engaged T’Rul in a bit of fun and games, suggesting a little “sparring” if she felt up to it._

_With a grin, she expertly, idly twirled one of the sticks in her hand. Then, she nodded her head where Daddy stood watching. “Speaking of sparring,” she said. “Remember two, two and a half weeks back, when we were discussing training when we came down here for a bit of a lesson that turned into a bout of silliness?”_

_“I’m not sure I like how much you can remember,” I said, making a face._

_“Yes, well, I seem to recall something about what would happen if you dared to challenge Father to a match.”_

_“Still hoping to see his winged one fly, aren’t you?”_

_“Oh, he wouldn’t toss you far,” she assured me with a dismissive wave of a stick._

_“Daddy, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t toss me at all. That would hurt. A lot.”_

_Thankfully, he didn’t throw me across the room, mainly offered constructive, helpful commentary while T’Rul and I “sparred”. More than once, Daddy had to remind me to keep my eyes up, focused on T’Rul’s. Each time I forgot, I earned the tap of a kana stick on my side, shoulder, back, grateful my sister hadn’t felt it necessary to really whack me the times I got lost and dropped my gaze._

_“Ael, eyes up,” Daddy said yet again. “Keep your gaze on T’Rul’s,” he instructed. “Your opponent’s weapon, whether it be fist, stick or knife will never tell you anything regarding their next move. Their eyes, however, will tell you much.”_

_OK, watch her eyes, I thought. Whether or not she made it easy for me, I don’t know, probably, but when I caught the subtle shift of her eyes to the right, I allowed a reaction, the stick in my right hand flying down a little too fast, blocking the strike nonetheless. A small victory. I was proud of it._

_Suddenly pumped, I asked for “Two against one”, T’Rul quizzically raising a single eyebrow until I added, “I meant us two against Daddy. Hey, it’s the only way I’ll ever have a chance.”_

_“Well, it has been a while,” she said, relenting._

_“As long as no one throws me across the room,” I reminded quickly, transferring my right stick to my left hand, holding them together for a moment while waiting._

_“Noted,” Daddy said, ruffling my hair. “I must ask, however, is this move allowed?” Before I had time to react, he grabbed the sticks still in my hand and lifted me off the floor by them. Like, he pulled me up a good few inches and just let me dangle there. T’Rul found it pretty amusing. I eventually let go, dropped to my feet, and wordlessly held out my hands, asking for the sticks to be returned, all the while attempting not to laugh about what had just happened myself._

_Minutes later and I was down on my back, Daddy had put me there albeit gently. “You dropped your gaze,” T’Rul said, helping me to my feet. “He took quick advantage of that fact.”_

_“It was only for a second,” I said, retrieving the kana sticks from the floor._

_“My winged one, sometimes a second is all that it takes,” Daddy said seriously._

_Right then, that lesson was forever noted. Concentration should never be allowed to waver. Suddenly, I wondered if the little bout of fun and games I’d begun, just might undo the entire last week and all I had learned._

_“As long as the remainder of your regimen remains consistent,” he said, “The past half an hour will have done no harm.”_

_“And even though we’ve been having a bit of fun,” T’Rul added, circling behind me, poking me in the back, mildly, with her stick. “You are still being instructed.”_

_Point made. The fun continued for a while more, I went down about a dozen more times. T’Rul, not once._

_This time, the fear stayed away a little longer than before. At least I’d been able to have a shower and change clothes without rushing pell-mell through either activity. After I’d dressed, I stared at the window again, reaching up as if to draw the curtains back, pulling away before I could complete the action._

_With a shiver, I turned away to go find someone to proverbially glue myself to for a while. That’s how the days have largely been going: studies when I can pay attention enough, training to help build confidence and ease fears not that either seem to stick. Sometimes, too, I’ve been trying to spend at least an hour away from everyone, totally alone, just to prove I can do it. Once, it actually made me sick from the fretting._

_Is it possible to sigh through ink?_

_I’m not sure how much more of this flip-flopping I can take, you know? I have moments where I feel almost fearless, others when I can feel every little thread unraveling. There are times I need to be treated like I’m made of delicate crystal, other times not so much. I think I have the rest of the house concerned; even Sela has taken to giving me these really strange stares I have no word for. Even she probably wonders where the hell all my fight has gone._

_I think most of it died alongside my attacker._

_Stop allowing fear to hold you down, something in the back of my mind says oh, so often. Romulans have nerves forged of chromium. They are tough, resilient, refusing to admit defeat like so many humans under the same set of circumstances. What are you other than a fearful, trembling mess of nerves clinging to your father’s side like a woeful child? The fear in your heart; drive it out! Be what you know you can be!_

_I’m going to go mad from either the stress, the flip-flopping, or that damn niggling voice in my head. Probably all three. I’m starting to wonder if Romulus has any good therapists._

_I’ll only dare admit this here, but you know what? A teeny part of me is almost hoping to be ambushed again, I know like I really need the trauma. I guess part of me is of the mindset that a second ambush from nowhere is a chance to actually fight back, even if all I do is kick my attacker square between his legs before dashing back towards home. Not like anyone has a hope in Hades of getting into the yard again. Not a chance. Knowing me, I’d probably choke a second time._

_I wonder if, some night before bed, I could find the guts to go outside and walk across the yard, heading around to where my window sits, revisiting the place where I nearly met my end. Maybe._

_Tonight_ _isn’t the night. I hope Daddy doesn’t mind that I only managed to make it through half the night alone, not that I’ve slept. Time to grab my trusty tiger whose tail seems a little looser these days, ascend the stairs and make haste toward Daddy’s room, the only place I seem to be able to find solace after dark._

_I think in the morning, I’ll tell Daddy exactly how I feel because I don’t know how much longer I can take living like every second of every day is a nightmare waiting to happen._

…

 

**Another day passed, then two more; I still hadn’t confided to anyone how I felt. Pasting a smile on my face, I tried to pretend all was well, better than it had been. Begrudgingly so, I decided to really sell it, my newfound OK-ness, which led me to not spending every waking moment by someone’s side. Daddy seemed surprised yet pleased when I told him I didn’t need to sit with him while he worked from his office, one afternoon. I spent three hours curled up on the chair in the private reading nook, attempting to read one of my most favorite books. Only, I think I ended up reading the same page about ten times before I noticed and moved on to the next. Don’t ask how many times I read that one!**

**Perspiring from the effort of secluding myself away for a time, the last hour of which involved me doing little more than staring blankly at the wall and fretting, I decided to go off in search of someone to spend time with. If I had to sit with T’Rul while she studied, or sit with Daddy while he worked; it was a far better thing than being alone. Hell, if Sela had been around, I might have just gone and sat somewhere near her. Desperate times and all.**

**Today, with Daddy having an important conference call with a bunch of big deal somebodies from HQ by the time I went to knock on his office door, I ended up with T’Rul in her room while she tended to studies. I don’t know if she was playing catch up or what; there were at least 4 open books on the floor, three PADDs in her lap, one in her hand. Rather than disturb her, I flopped down on her bed and stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep.**

**A knock on the wall, half an hour before dinner, woke me with a start. Sitting bolt upright, I flailed around, briefly, landing smack on my butt on the floor when I tumbled backward.**

**“Ow,” I said flatly.**

**“Are you all right?” T’Rul hurried over and gave me a hand up. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”**

**“I’m OK.”**

**For a moment, she scrutinized me, my expression, my eyes especially. “Let’s talk for a minute,” she said, sitting down on the bed. “Last meal can wait.”**

**Slowly, I sank down to the bed beside her. “I’m OK, really,” I tried, unable to make eye contact.**

**“I think we both know that isn’t the truth,” she scolded gently. Placing a hand on my shoulder, she asked, “Would you prefer to speak to Father?” I shook my head. She sighed almost wearily, then placed two fingers beneath my chin and lifted my head, turned my face toward her. “You must speak to one of us. With each new day, I see another piece of you vanish, a spark in your eyes falling dim. Ael, I feel as though I am watching you fade away, piece by piece, a little at a time.”**

**My lower lip began to tremble the second I heard her voice wobble. I doubted very much I could take seeing her cry. “I just can’t find the right words,” I said. “I thought, after confronting Taelis with Daddy, that everything felt OK again. I felt pretty good until we got home. Instantly, I just felt panicked.” I tried to explain my flip-floppy emotions, feelings of good, quickly overshadowed by complete and utter terror out of nowhere. The right words didn’t want to come.**

**After we settled on a hug, and with me swearing to try and speak to Daddy about it all later, we headed out to see about dinner.**

**“Why don’t you go ahead and sit down in the dining room,” she said, noticing my wobbling legs.**

**Refusing to argue, we parted company, and I slipped into the dining room and plopped down in the first seat I spotted, elbow on the table, chin in my hand, staring blankly at the wall. I was so engrossed on sitting miserably alone with my thoughts that I barely noticed when Sela strode in. Stopping dead, she stared at me, probably wondering why I was at the opposite end of the table instead of in my usual spot.**

**Instead of striding coolly past, sitting down where I usually would, she sat beside me, kind of sideways in her chair, placed down the PADD she’d been carrying on the table and in a neutral tone asked, “What can I do?”**

**Never have I been more surprised. I turned to face her, attempting to read her but failing. If she had any emotion toward me be it loathing, irritation, or some weird form of sudden affection, her face didn’t show a thing. I know Daddy had given her quite the verbal lashing, and she’d impeccably behaved since, the rare times we’d crossed paths, but this felt like something she was doing on her own. I highly doubted Daddy told her to start looking out for me.**

**“I don’t know.” Best to be honest. My thoughts quickly shifted, going back to earlier thoughts, one, in particular, I had been entertaining for several days already, concerning taking an unplanned stroll after last sun. Alone. Tonight, I would do it. Maybe even walking right up to the gates and slipping through them, standing out in the open for the whole world to see. I certainly had to do something.**

**“You have been behaving exceptionally strangely lately.”**

**_You’re one to talk_ ** **, I almost blurted. “I’ve just been deciding on how best to tackle the way I feel,” I said without giving too much away. “You know, find what rock my courage, my sense of pride has been hiding under.”**

**“I see.”**

**“Hey, Sela,” I began, biting my lower lip, checking to make sure no one else was around who could hear. “Would you do something for me?’**

**Sela sat back in her chair and tipped her head as if confused. “That depends on exactly what you are asking.”**

**What if my jaunt across the lawn went south? What if someone managed to get inside the yard once again and were waiting, lurking where they shouldn’t be. “If something happens to me, would you promise to take care of T’Rul, Daddy?” Suddenly, I had tears in my eyes. Sela noticed, her brow furrowed in puzzlement.**

**“Wait, _what_? Are you planning to do something foolish?”**

**“I’m not planning anything,” I lied. “With everyone and their brother out to get me,” I shrugged. “I just want to make sure someone will make sure Daddy and T’Rul will be OK is all.”**

**“But why ask me?”**

**“They’re your family too,” I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. “I don’t know how you’re related, but I know that you are. Just, promise me, Sela. It’s the only promise I will ever ask you to make. I won’t even ask for a haerhe, just your word.”**

**A nod. It would do. The sounds of footfalls coming toward the dining room, the sounds of chatter stopped anything else Sela might have been about to say. Hastily, she picked up her PADD and tapped at the screen, attempting to pretend she’d been fiddling with it all along.**

**“Now here’s a sight I never thought I’d live to see,” said T’Rul, placing the bowl she was carrying down on the table.**

**I couldn’t even begin to explain so I didn’t try. Sela moved down a few chairs at the table while I stayed at the far end. Daddy could tell something was wrong, that I was conflicted. Stepping over, he placed a hand atop my head so softly I nearly burst into tears at his touch.**

**“I think we should have a discussion.”**

**“I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling,” I said. “The right words just don’t seem to want to come, you know?”**

**“At some point, before you sleep this evening, we will speak,” he said. “It does not matter if the “right” words come; what words are needed to be spoken, will be.”**

**Nodding, I headed down to my chair to the left of the head of the table. Absently, I took a scoop of this, a little of that, pretty much a taste of everything, from every bowl and tray that circled the table. I didn’t have interest in any of it, though my plate certainly was colorful. Most of the meal was spent with me pushing food around on my plate, gentle coercion from T’Rul being the only reason I ate anything at all.**

**_Gods and Elements; I am so tired of living like this!_ ** **I screamed inside, continuing to push food around the plate _. After mealtime, once the sun has fully set, I’m going to just go for it. I’m going to walk across the yard, head held high, prove that I am not afraid. I only hope someone isn’t lurking in the foliage like last time, and that this isn’t the last time I see my family._**

**…**

It was only an hour after the conclusion of mealtime when everything began to go wrong. Movar, after making certain Ael would be all right on her own with T’Rul for a while, had gone to his office to finish a bit of work before devoting the rest of the evening to Ael and what troubled her so greatly. Sela had excused herself away to her room. Ael, when she thought T’Rul had been too busy at the bookshelves to notice what she might be doing, had attempted to sneak away from the sitting room, down to the front door and through it. All she had to do was make the journey around the perimeter, prove she could handle the walk, in the dark, without falling to pieces. If another attack came? This time, she wouldn’t behave like a coward; like a _human_.

“Ael?” Upon seeing her sister missing, T’Rul hurried around the corner, striding quickly down the hall and calling out, “Where do you think you’re going? Get back here.”

Grumbling, Ael pulled up short of the front door. “I just wanted a little air. My mind is so full these days that I’m walking around with a constant migraine. I figured some fresh air would help me clear my head a bit. That’s all.”

Stepping closer to her sister, T’Rul scrutinized Ael’s face. “You’re not quite telling me the whole truth here. In any case, you know Father’s rule: After sundown, unless he is beside you the entire time, you are not to go outside.”

“I’m going, T’Rul,” Ael said defensively. “Back off.”

“What is with you?” T’Rul demanded crossly. “It’s as if a switch has been dramatically flipped and in an instant no less. Away from the front door. You and I can walk through the gardens if a little fresh air is truly all you’re after.”

“I said no.”

“And _I_ said you are not stepping a single toe through that front door. I absolutely forbid it, and Father does too, or have you forgotten?”

“You can’t _forbid_ me,” Ael yelped. “Are you trying to be my mother?”

“If I were, I’d have given your backside a good swat already.” Ael folded her arms and glowered, her cheeks flushing in mild embarrassment.

“Don’t you even _dare_!”

“Oh, don’t worry,” T’Rul said, “Father will likely see to that himself if you decide to do something _this_ foolhardy, disobey the one rule specifically made to keep you safe from harm. Until this moment, you’ve had no issues with the rule in question. If you have one now, go down to Father’s office and talk to him about it. He wants to discuss a few things with you as it stands.”

“Our security system is probably more complex now than the praetor’s estate,” Ael said as though she hadn’t heard anything T’Rul had said. “I’ll be fine to stand on the front steps for two minutes.”

“Somehow, I doubt the front steps are all you had in mind. You know, I wish Father _had_ brought in armed guards after all. Had he done so, they would have refused to let you out through _any_ door on the grounds after sundown without Father’s OK. You seem to have forgotten what happened the last time you took yourself outside for a stroll after dark.”

“Screw you!” Ael hollered. T’Rul stepping back, shocked, angered. “How could you think, even for a single moment that I could forget what happened to me? I’ve been living in debilitating, crippling fear for weeks. Maybe I’m finally ready to stop being coddled.”

T’Rul had to laugh. “Says the girl who has been relentlessly clinging to our father’s side since that very eve. How many weeks did it take you again, before you could stomach staying in your room at night? Have you even managed it a single time? You follow Father like you’re glued to him; you are plainly _asking_ to be coddled.”

Pressing hands to her eyes as if exhausted, Ael lowered her voice, shifting her tone, trying to make T’Rul understand.

“Listen, I know I’ve been scared, terrified actually, and I know you and Daddy want to keep me safe, and I understand his reason for curfew. What you _don’t_ seem to understand, though, is that I’m tired of living this way. Do you know what it’s like to cringe away from every noise you hear, jump in fright when you see your own shadow right where it should be? How about going to sleep? It’s such a simple, biological concept but yet, I can’t rest without Daddy right there to cozy up to. Unless I feel his heartbeat, his voice soothing me, I can’t even sleep. The times I dare stay in my room, I lie down on the floor, where I can’t be seen through the window. That sort of fear is becoming all I know, T’Rul, and I hate it. I have tried to take steps to come through it but nothing seems to stick. Tonight, I figured hey, if I can just go for a walk down the path for a minute, maybe I’ll succeed in pushing back the fear just enough to where I can start making an actual recovery.”

“Then let us go down to Father’s office and speak to him. If he agrees with your stance, and he might, he can stand on the steps and watch while you go down the front path.”

“I want to do it on my own,” Ael said firmly.

“Only if you clear it with Father, first,” her sister insisted. “Come on, Ael, away from the door.” Ael opened it. “In Fire’s name; I mean it. If your toe so much as steps over that threshold, I will grab your arm and pull your sorry backside up the hall.”

“Daddy won’t care!” Ael insisted loudly. “He’ll applaud my courage, respect me taking even one step to conquer what has been consuming me for weeks.”

“Oh, he’d care. If he heard this argument; this would be an instance where he would raise his voice toward you. Ael, he loves you dearly; don’t force him to have to shout at you, following it up with a punishment he’d rather not hand down.”

Ael sighed, maybe T’Rul had a point. Besides, what if someone _was_ lurking about; what if their home and its surroundings hadn’t become as impenetrable as all that? _If someone is lurking_ , something in her thoughts began to remind. _You take them down! Are you Romulan or just a coward, a pitiful little human nothing?_

“I can handle myself,” said Ael calmer than she felt. “Last time was different, I didn’t have any training.”

“You still don’t. A handful of sessions in the training room, one of which seemed to be constructed of mostly fun and games, does not constitute you as being trained. Dammit, Ael, I hate to remind you: Biologically, you are different. Even the weakest specimen on this planet has three times your present strength. Do you think a weakling is going to be sitting out there, waiting for his or her chance to strike? No. it will be a highly trained combatant, one who could break your arms by holding them tight and giving a good squeeze.”

For a moment, Ael felt shocked into silence, then angry beyond reason. “Thank you for reminding me of what I already know, _sister,”_ she spat, wiping at her eyes. “That I am nothing but a pathetic weakling of a human.”

“For Element’s sakes; you are overreacting.”

“So are you!” Ael dared step across the threshold. T’Rul stepped forward, brandishing a warning glance. “Go get Daddy if you feel tattling like a toddler is best. Me? I’m going to conquer at least a little of this debilitating fear.”

“That’s it,” T’Rul turned away. “Father will be along in a minute or two, and I promise you, this time, you will receive far more than a sedate talking to.”

“Doubt it,” Ael fired back, slamming the front door, descending the steps, and striding down the front path and into the night.

 

 …

 

T’Rul immediately made a beeline for the girls’ father’s office, fists clenched at her sides, an angry expression frozen on her face. Like the previous incident that called for her father’s aid, T’Rul neglected to announce her presence before striding straight through his office doors.

“Has something happened?” Movar asked upon seeing T’Rul standing in the doorway, angry as could be, Ael nowhere in sight.

“Ael and one _very_ dramatic attitude shift,” she said. “Father, you must come now. Ael has gone and done something foolish.”

“Explain.” A hint of fear appeared, working its way up to mild concern, then greater concern still, and then a rush of anger. “I _explicitly_ told her to stay inside after sundown,” he said once T’Rul had finished explaining. Ael had followed that one, simple rule without complaint or question for weeks. Suddenly, she was against it?

“She seemed quite convinced you wouldn’t care, that you would applaud her courage.”

“In this instance, I most certainly care regarding this foolhardy stunt.” Anger may have shown on the outside, but sudden panic consumed the inner. “Had she spoken with me first, I might have allowed her out front for a minute or two. I do applaud Ael’s sudden desire to combat her fear but arguing and fighting with you; going against the only rule she has, one made to keep her safe will not stand with me.”

 _Anger born of fear_ , thought T’Rul as her father, disruptor in hand, just in case, headed down the hall and through the front door. _Elements, Ael; you had best hope no one is lurking in the shadows._

Fortunately for Ael, inside the high stone walls, the gate locked tight, yielded extreme safety ever since the upgrade to the security grid. Angrily, she stomped across the grass, further and further away from the front door, rage burning in her belly when she thought of the fight she’d had with her sister.

“How dare she tell me what to do!” Ael seethed into the cool evening air. “I can damn well handle myself. See?” Spreading her arms, twirling around, Ael made a grand show to the emptiness of the yard. “Nothing to it! No boogeymen out here. I don’t know what T’Rul was so paranoid over. I will not spend my life clinging to Daddy’s side like a baby. I’ll show this world exactly what I’m capable of, and if that has to begin with me walking from the front door to the gates, then fine! Maybe I’ll even go through them!”

 _Don’t be foolish_ , said a voice inside, one that sounded an awful lot like her sister. _You’ve made it over halfway across the yard. You’ve proved a point. Turn around and go back to the house. You’re probably in enough hot water already._

“Once I reach the gates,” Ael said, her heart beginning to beat rapidly. She was almost there! Briefly, her head turned towards home. She thought she’d heard her father’s voice through the cover of night; he was too far away and she couldn’t understand his words. Breaking into a jog, Ael tagged the gates within a few seconds, grinning triumphantly.

She turned around, giddy, losing her grin when she glimpsed her father growing ever closer as he ran across the yard. He was definitely going to be upset, no, angry with her over what she’d done. T’Rul was already plenty upset. “She has every right to be,” mumbled Ael sadly. “I guess my attitude switch was pretty abrupt, and I said some pretty mean things. I should have listened to her,” she said with a sigh. “Elements, what is wrong with me lately?”

“Ael! Come here at once.”

Ael winced at her father’s tone. “I’m so sorry, Daddy,” she said even though he was still a bit too far away to hear her murmured words clearly. “Your winged one had been so confused lately, terror-stricken, out of sorts. I should have come and talked to you. Dammit, why couldn’t I just talk to you?”

A pungent odor blew by on a sudden cool breeze, Ael freezing where she stood. She opened her mouth to cry out for her father who was oh, so very close. Her voice, where had it gone so suddenly? That had happened the last time too. A split second later and a hand reached through the bars, seized Ael by her collar and pulled her back with an all-mighty slam against the gates. Ael found her voice fast, crying out for her father’s aid, the cry for help cut short, replaced by a scream of unrelenting agony as something sliced into her flesh from just beyond the safety of home.

Movar made it to the gates the second his daughter’s scream split the air. Raising his disruptor, he fired a shot through the bars, two shots, then three, the sounds of footfalls fading away down the street and into the night. He had been about to round on Ael, beginning with a loud, stern, “What were you _thinking_ , young lady?” but those words died on his lips when his daughter staggered forward, wobbling as if drunk.

“Da-” Ael tried to speak. It felt as if her brain had forgotten the simple things, like what to call this man now in front of her, how to walk in a straight line. Vision bleary, Ael started to teeter sideways, Movar quick to intercept before she could fall.

Unexpected warmth rushed over his hand, he pulled it away from her shoulder, scarlet fluid trailing through his fingers, and then he caught the same pungent odor Ael had only seconds before she’d been attacked from behind.

“ _No_ ,” Movar whispered, panic rising up to consume him. Ael gurgled helplessly, sagging against his chest, no longer able to stand up under her own power. Lifting her easily into his arms, Movar took off like a shot. “Stay with me, Ael. Stay with me!” Nearing the front door in record time, Movar called out for T’Rul to bring him an emergency triage kit, and then ready the flitter for an urgent trip to the hospital.

There wasn’t a moment to waste if Ael wanted more than the barest chances of survival. Movar could only pray they weren’t already too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note to say a great big "thanks!" to everyone who reads my stories, enjoys them, and comments. You're all appreciated. =)


	25. Chapter 25

The world felt like it had come to a sudden stand-still. A sense of extreme urgency accompanied Movar’s yell, well-before he ran through the front door of the home with Ael clutched tightly in his arms. When T’Rul, sprinting toward her father, emergency kit in hand, caught sight of what looked to be the lifeless form of her sister in his arms, she gasped, then swore. Though she may have been studying to one day become a physician herself, she had yet to have any real, hands-on experience where emergencies were concerned, to say nothing of triaging one’s little sister. Admittedly, T’Rul felt shaky, her hands uncharacteristically trembling as she fought to open the emergency kit.

Dropping down to the ground quickly, Movar deposited Ael on the floor and rolled her over to her side, reaching into the now-open medical kit to remove both applicator and a dark purple suspended solution, a powerful anti-toxin. Quickly, they came together, the hypo pressed so, painfully urgently to Ael’s neck Movar had a feeling she might later bear a bruise.

A fast-acting coagulant entered Ael’s body second, the alarming rate of blood loss halted, sooner rather than later. In the event she lost too much blood, nothing would be able to save her. Romulans and humans were not blood-compatible, there were far too many differences and variances, not to mention Vulcanoids had copper-based blood. If a transfusion _were_ to go ahead, Ael would suffer the devastating effects of copper poisoning. Such a condition, alongside the one she currently battled, would no doubt succeed in ending her life.

Within seconds, the blood stopped pooling on the floor, Movar using the decorative covering from the couch behind him as a compress to hold flush against Ael’s wound, just in case the bleeding continued.

“Stay awake, Ael,” he commanded, patting her cheek firmly. A choked gurgle was his only reply, Ael’s eyes rolling back into her head as she began to slip from reality into an imposing blackness. “You will _not_ slip away from me.” On his feet, Ael back in his arms, Movar and T’Rul raced to the flitter.

“I asked Sela to ready the flitter,” T’Rul said. “In case you needed assistance with Ael.” _Not that I did much good. This all could have been prevented had I grabbed her arm to halt her. I had no wish to cause accidental, likely unavoidable bruising, but that would have been far preferable to this._

Sela was waiting by the readied flitter when the pair approached, what looked to be a corpse dangling from Movar’s arms. No, it couldn’t have been; Ael’s chest still rose and fell, though sluggishly.

“What happened?” Sela asked quickly, strangely concerned.

“No time to explain,” Movar countered.

“Send word on her condition when you are able.”

Movar didn’t even bother with a curt nod of reply, his focus solely on his dying daughter. T’Rul’s hand briefly paused on the control panel, wondering why Sela suddenly seemed to care, quickly tapping in the sequence which called for the canopy to slide closed over the craft when her father shouted for her to “Make immediate haste.”

Several tense seconds later and the craft was airborne, aimed toward the only source of help. T’Rul managed the flitter controls while sending an emergency transmission to the hospital, alerting the staff to the emergency en route, making them well-aware in advance to expect a human patient, a child, one in severely critical condition, one who had been literally stabbed in the back.

“This is excruciatingly important, T’Rul,” Movar said before the transmission has ended. “You must tell them letrazen poisoning is expected.” The smell, that pungent odor emanating from the wound on Ael’s back; it had been unmistakable. “Let them know she was already given a dose of bhadazine.”

T’Rul stiffened, sweat beginning to bead on her brow. Nodding, she completed the transmission. Suddenly, she couldn’t remember how to pilot a flitter, a sharply spoken word from her father being the only reason she managed to pull herself from the haze. _Stay focused, for your sister’s sake,_ she sternly told herself.

“No, Ael, stay awake, you must,” Movar said from behind the pilot’s chair. Holding her close yet at an awkward angle, so her injury remained lower than her heart in an attempt to slow the toxin in her system from potentially spreading more rapidly, Movar bowed his head over his daughter and sent up a quiet, painfully fervent prayer to the Elements.

“I could have stopped her,” T’Rul repeated over and over, leaning forward in the pilot’s seat almost as if the action would spur the flitter to a faster clip. “I might have bruised the hell out of her arm, grabbing her forcefully, dragging her up the hall; damn me, why didn’t I just grab her?”

“Do not place the blame squarely on your shoulders,” Movar said, holding tight to the compress against Ael’s wound, the emerald-green cloth several shades darker than it used to be. “Ael is stubborn. Had she been determined enough to leave the house, and sadly, she was, she could have easily slipped out through her bedroom window long after we would have thought her to be asleep.”

 _Knowing that, doesn’t help_ , T’Rul thought, eyes on the sky. Quickly, her gaze flicked down to the panel on her right. The flitter, already at maximum thrust, could not go faster, no matter how much T’Rul willed it to be so. Behind her, she could hear her father whispering encouragement to Ael, urging her to hold on.

Complexion paler than that of an apparition, Ael struggled to draw each new breath, chest rising dramatically high, a gurgling wheeze escaping when the breath released. A count of three before each, new, intake of air. Each of those seconds felt like forever.

“Father,” T’Rul said a moment later. “Will the hospital be able to treat her?” The worry in T’Rul’s tone was great, the sadness at Ael’s condition nearly palpable as she posed the question. While the hospital they were nearly upon was one of the best on Romulus, comprised of some of the most skilled physicians anywhere on the planet’s surface, T’Rul still had cause to worry.

“The head physician, Talar, is knowledgeable in humanoid anatomy. He _will_ be able to help her,” Movar said though his voice lacked conviction.

While Talar, a man of nearly one hundred and seventy years had extensive medical knowledge, including the anatomies of over fifty separate species and how best to treat them, given certain maladies and injuries, the fact still remained that, no matter how proficient a medical man, the hospital was unequipped to handle anything other than Romulan patients. The medicines that would ultimately, undoubtedly be called upon to aid in saving Ael’s life could cause their own breed of internal problems, possibly resulting in painfully deadly side-effects that most would be unable to foresee until it was too late to act. Medical tricorders would be next to useless, misdiagnosing, confused on how to read their alien patient, while biofunction monitors would shrilly whine at every hour of the day, screaming in protest that the patient’s vitals were always reading at dangerously fatal levels, even if they were stable. What read as normal for a Romulan, would read fatal to anything human. Without extensive recalibration of vital medical tools and monitors…

 _Talar will find a way to aid her,_ Movar thought. _I will demand it!_ “Stay with me, my winged one,” he said, holding her close, praying she wouldn’t succumb before the flitter touched down. A thin river of blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. “Do _not_ give up without a fight,” he commanded. “This is not how your life is meant to end.”

Paralyzing fear gripped his heart, breathing suddenly became difficult. It had been nearly two decades since he’d last wept, and by the Elements, he just might be about to do it now. To think of losing a child, his by blood or not, dying in his arms while he could do nothing to stop it; it was almost more than even the toughest war dog could stand.

The lights on the flitter cut misty swaths through the rain beginning to fall. T’Rul brought the flitter down safely despite the panic threatening to overwhelm her. An emergency team of six stood at the ready, including the head physician himself, at the head of the waiting gurney. Within seconds of the canopy sliding back, the team hurtled into immediate action, Ael away from Movar’s arms, on the gurney before T’Rul even had time to get out of her seat.

Seconds later and the call for an “Emergency Transport!” split the air. A misty emerald glow lit the grounds, a wide-beam, site-to-site transport, moving everyone to the critical care unit in one fell swoop.

Rematerialization complete, Movar and T’Rul were quickly ushered out of the room by the chief nurse, a willowy woman named Taris. Father and daughter could only watch, helpless, through a pane of glass separating them from Ael as the medical team worked to save her.

Having been notified of a human patient even a little in advance meant there had been time to dig an already modified medical tricorder from the doctor’s personal stash. “You never quite know when even the most unexpected tool may be needed,” he always said. While, in this case, the standard medical tricorder for this world could work in a pinch, having the proper tool in a crisis would always be preferred. Calibrating the biofunction monitors would have taken more time than they had to prepare; the staff would have to do so later, providing they could reach the point of stabilizing their patient.

Controlled chaos erupted inside the ward, the head physician and his staff put through their paces with a sense of urgency, those beneath Talar remembering their mental notes from the lecture they’d received while waiting for Ael to arrive, concerning differences in physiology.

“Human child with a stab wound, to the back of her right shoulder, suspected letrazen poisoning,” Talar said urgently, scanning her with first one tricorder, then another. “Never mind suspected; it _is_ letrazen poisoning,” he stated grimly. Fingers to her neck the doctor checked her pulse, finding it erratic, weak. Pulling back Ael’s eyelids rewarded a glazed over, lifeless expression, and then she gurgled, the sound raspy, disturbing. It reminded him of when a victim of a slashed throat began to choke on their own blood, shortly before drowning in their own fluids.

An oxygen mask rested over Ael’s mouth and nose, though her breathing remained sluggish and strained. “Breath, stubborn girl,” said Taris, consulting the screen of the biofunction monitor above the bed. “Arterial pressure is eighty over fifty,” she called out, attempting to shake away the confusion. Healthy blood pressure for the average Romulan citizen, much less so for the human girl lifeless on the table.

“Respiration is down to six breaths per minute,” said Talar, frowning. “Heartbeat is extremely arrhythmic; body temperature has risen to over one hundred and four degrees. One hundred milligrams of kaeltrazine, quickly!”

The foreign yet desperately needed medicine was injected into Ael’s body. What had been meant to force her temperature down, quickly made it rise by nearly another half point, her weakened heart beginning to race.

Recalibrating other instruments on the go, so all could better tell when Ael’s vitals were some sort of stable, Talar ordered a larger than normal dose of maealexretin, a powerful anti-toxin. If anything would give this frail girl on the bed a chance at surviving, it would be this. Ael wheezed harshly beneath her mask, beginning to tremble from head-to-toe as if a sudden chilly breeze had enveloped the room.

It took far too long to stop the biofunction monitor from wailing in protest to Ael’s vitals, the girl carefully rolled to her side, wound inspected. The back of Ael’s shoulder yielded a gash nearly thirty-eight-point-three millimeters in length, the depth of penetration easily one hundred-and-thirty. A jagged tear to one side told of the weapon used, a dagger with a serrated tip. Deep purple and blue bruising splashed over the wound, a hilt mark having been left behind due to the force of her attacker’s motions. After cleansing the wound of oozing secretions, an autosuture was used to close the wound in under a minute.

A monitor near Ael’s bed began to beep in warning; her fever was rising. “She is going to suffer permanent neural damage if we cannot lower her core temperature.” Another hypospray was given. No change. Talar was in the process of ordering cool compresses when yet another shrill tone escaped the biomonitor, Ael’s blood pressure falling to near-fatal levels.

“Cardiostimulator at the ready,” he said, injecting Ael with cordrazine. Any minute now and Ael’s heart was likely to declare, enough. A check beneath her eyelids yielded an expressionless stare, pupils halfway dilated, refusing to change.

Two hundred milligrams of metrazene; Ael’s arrhythmia began to worsen, but her heartrate lowered. Further instructions were called out over the next twenty minutes at least, Ael the recipient of another two hyposprays, one of which succeeded in bringing her blood pressure up to a (barely) tolerable level.

At last, the only things left to do were watch and wait. Talar relayed instructions to his staff, alerting them what further to watch for where Ael’s physiology was concerned.

“How have you lasted this long, dear girl?” he asked quietly, not expecting an answer. Turning to gaze through the glass, Talar allowed a small, almost sorrowful sigh to escape. A difficult task awaited him, one he wished were unnecessary. Standing tall, collecting his thoughts, Talar strode from the ward in a business-like manner.

It was time to discuss a few things with the family.

 

…

 

Movar and T’Rul stood still as could be on the opposite side of the glass, having witnessed the entirety of the seemingly chaotic commotion within the ward, a fight to save a young soul who had become a precious part of their family. One of T’Rul’s hands pressed against the window, tearstains on her dark olive cheeks, her other reaching up to grasp the hand of her father as it rested comfortingly on her shoulder. Movar stayed staring through the glass, working hard to keep his stance steadfast. One hand remained up by his mouth, quieting any sound that might have come from the earlier spilling of tears from his eyes. The thought of losing a child, of watching it nearly come to pass had been more than he could finally stand.

During the ordeal, there had been nothing he could do to help, a thought that had caused further anguish, helplessness. Other than silent prayers to the Elements, begging for Ael’s protection, whispering words of encouragement she couldn’t hear, there hadn’t been a damn thing he could do. Ael had fiercely depended on him from the moment she had set foot on Romulan soil, relied on his strength when she had so little of her own to go on. This time, there was nothing that strength could do except allow him to grieve for a child not yet lost, but oh, so close.

The sound of the door sliding open called their attention away from the glass, but only barely. Talar stepped through, countenance grim, mocha-colored eyes telling of the news neither person in the room might be able to stomach.

“My sister,” T’Rul said, willing her voice not to break. “Is Ael going to die?”

“I am going to be forthright with you both: I am quite surprised she has lasted as long as she has. I am sorry to have to say this; the chances of your daughter surviving this ordeal is miniscule at best, perhaps five percent.”

“Have none of the medications worked with her physiology?” T’Rul asked, wiping the standing tears from her eyes.

“While one medication has not worked as well as we hoped, none have been outright rejected by her body, though that does have the probability of changing. There is one in particular that has me concerned, though there was no choice but to administer it.” Looking Movar knowingly in the eyes he said, “I had to administer a double dose of the anti-toxin, maealexretin.”

“Then, it was indeed letrazen,” said Movar more calmly than he felt. This could not have been the work of a random stranger, more like a hired hand who had access to things they should not.

“Yes.” Briefly, Talar consulted a PADD. “The toxin in question has done significant damage. Her blood pressure is shockingly low, her heartbeat erratic yet weak; her fever is fatally high and she can barely breathe, even with oxygen.”

“Letrazen,” said T’Rul quietly, gazing between father and doctor. “It sounds familiar, makes me queasy to hear it mentioned, and yet I am unable to recall exactly what it is.”

“The compound in question is a military-grade poison, exceptionally lethal. Now, while there _have_ been rare cases of individuals surviving letrazen poisoning, the remaining quality of life, in nearly all cases, is poor. Depending on how the toxin is introduced into the body, how quickly treatment is given, the amount of suffering up until death can be great. If ingested orally, it is only a matter of hours until the internal organs begin to degrade and shut down. The way it was delivered to your sister, by means of smearing on a blade, it could well take her days to succumb.”

Visibly paling by at least two full shades, T’Rul swallowed hard to keep from heaving. “There is no possibility of recovery; are you certain?”

“At this moment, I am afraid the prognosis is morbidly grim. There is the high possibility of organ failure, even paralysis which could become permanent should she survive. Believe me, when I tell you that she is being given the absolute best care we can offer, but do keep in mind that we are unequipped as a whole to handle humanoid patients. Aside from a medical tricorder I have that can specifically read and diagnose her species, the rest of our equipment, such as the biofunction monitors, must be recalibrated as we go.”

“This is my doing,” T’Rul said in a wobbly voice. “Had I simply grabbed Ael’s arm, stopped her from going outside.” A hand flew to her mouth, a sob slipped out. “I wish I had opted for an angry sister with a bruise on her arm. Now, we’re likely to _bury her_ because I chose poorly.”

Casting a quick glance back through the glass, Ael in the process of becoming surrounded in cold packs to lower her temperature, T’Rul whispered a quiet apology and hurried away down the hall to spend a few minutes alone.

“Allow her to go,” said Talar when Movar turned to go after his daughter. “We can use this opportunity to have a more private discussion regarding your youngest.”

Instantly, an icy cold tendril of fear seized Movar’s heart. He had a feeling he knew what the doctor might be about to touch upon. “Proceed.”

“Have you given any thought in regards to granting your daughter Final Honor?”

A Romulan concept that chose suicide over capture, of dying without one’s personal honor and dignity stripped away, was older than the Empire itself, one which had once been given the name Final Honor. As time passed, the term came to mean something else altogether, often said to be the greatest gift that could be given in times of great suffering, gentle aid in passing from one world to the next. Due to Romulans believing their resources are precious beyond measure, they did not believe in wasting them on the critically ill or injured, those who stood no chance to recover. If the circumstance in question concerned a child not yet of age, the remedy, painful as it may be, the decision to grant Final Honor was almost always immediate.  

The question, painful as it may have been, waited to be answered. Movar wished he could think about something else altogether. Presenting Talar with an answer made Ael’s predicament all the more real, gave her situation a finality he could not yet bring himself to accept.

“Forgive me if the question caught you off guard,” said Talar. “I do understand that this is a difficult time for your family, just as I can also understand exactly how difficult a decision like this can be to make.”

Movar finally found his voice. “I am not yet prepared to grant Ael Final Honor. I understand my decision is not the norm, but I feel, strongly so, that my daughter should be allowed a chance to fight.”

“How long are you prepared to allow the war to rage, General?” Talar asked somberly. “Ael is greatly suffering, and I know you are acutely aware how much worse that suffering can become. Her internal organs could still deteriorate, possibly over days, until they shut down one at a time. The pain stemming from that, the paralysis; the pain alone is likely to induce a heart attack. At present, her condition; I can barely call it stable. Your daughter could have minutes to live or she could have a ten day. Regardless, every minute will likely be spent in suffering.”

“She _will_ recover,” Movar said sharply. It felt like he’d been brutally assaulted, punched repeatedly, kicked in the gut, had his arms broken, and then been shoved into a pool of ice water for good measure, leaving him winded, unable to breathe, freezing cold, and emotionally raw.

“And the after-effects of one that survives letrazen poisoning?” Talar questioned.

A difficult toxin to purge, letrazen claimed more lives than it didn’t. It could be considered a miracle that anyone managed to survive an encounter with it at all. Those who did survive were mature specimens, far from the fragility of youth. Even so, coming away from letrazen poisoning unscathed, it was all but unheard of. Becoming quadriplegic, falling blind, losing the power of speech if she even remembered how to form words at all; loss of brain function and motor control, there could even be combinations of effects. There had only been one case in the history of the world of someone surviving such a deadly toxin and returning to live a normal life. Others who survived; most chose Final Honor over living like an invalid, a burden to their great empire.

“Ael is defiantly stubborn, strong; she is a fighter. I will give her a chance to battle this unwanted assault against her life. Believe me or do not; this is not how my daughter is to die.”

“I hope your instincts prove correct,” said Talar. “But do keep Final Honor in your mind and heart, weigh the suffering against the outcome as you continue to watch her wage war against this lethal toxin.”

“Save her,” Movar said, turning away to go in search of T’Rul, taking less than four steps away when a high-pitched whine pierced the air. Movar rushed back in time to see Talar disappear back through the doors and into the ward, Ael’s body violently seizing on the table. T’Rul hadn’t gone far, the sudden alert sending her dashing back to her father’s side.

One look through the glass and T’Rul became desperate to rush through the doors to the ward, Movar catching his distraught daughter before she could.

“Father, we must help! She’ll die if do nothing!”

“There is nothing we can do, T’Rul. Ael is in capable hands, the best ones this world can offer.”

“Surely, I could do something,” T’Rul protested weakly. Pulling away from her father’s hold, she placed a shaky hand against the glass. “Why didn’t you listen to me? Why didn’t I stop you when I could? Damn you, Ael,” she cried softly. “This did not have to happen.”

 _Do not give up, my winged one_ , Movar thought. _Show me that fighting spirit of yours that so often blazes Fire. Show everyone in this place you are too stubborn to admit defeat. Show them you are too stubborn to die, my winged one. Show them!_

Ael’s body jumped and seized, and then she lay still. Another whine, this one higher-pitched than before, caused Talar to yell, “She has gone into cardiac arrest. Cardiostimulator, now!”

Turning away from the glass, unable to bear the real possibility of losing her sister, someone who had become so, very precious to her, T’Rul wrapped her arms around her father, buried her face in his chest and wept.

 

 …

 

It didn’t seem as though the chaos, controlled or otherwsie would ever stop. Ael lay dead on the table, gone from the world for nearly four full minutes before the doctor and nurses managed to restart her heart.

Movar would never forget all that he’d seen, and heard through the glass. The shrill cries of the biofunction monitor, the high-pitched whine that told of his child’s heart ceasing to beat; the urgent commands spoken by Talar as he and his team worked to bring Ael back from the dead. The call for cordrazine had come twice in the span of one minute, the cardiostimulator used every ten seconds for what felt like an eternity and a half, Ael’s body jerking and jumping on the table as the device attempted to coerce her heart to beat.

It was worse than any nightmare.

At last the shrill whines of the monitor calmed, satiated as long as the young heart continued to beat, the doctor and nurses slowing their frantic paces, consulting one another before Talar, again, excused himself from the ward in order to speak to the girl’s family.

“Another few seconds and I would have had my team stand down,” Talar began seriously. “The extra, larger dose of cordrazine is likely what made the most difference. General, if your child’s heart ceases to beat a second time, the chances are great it will not be restarted.”

Movar didn’t respond. What could he say? If anything, he felt like lashing out at the nearest inanimate object. Finally, he asked, “Have her vitals shown any improvement?”

“Barely.” Removing a PADD from his jacket pocket, Talar passed it to Movar who understood everything he read. “Her arterial pressure is still much too low. At the moment, the levels are barely tolerable; at least they are holding steady. Respiration rate is also still lower than I care for, and her pulse rate is far too high. Thanks to the cold compresses, which did throw her body into further shock for a time, have succeeded in dropping her fever by a point and a half.”

T’Rul dared to ask, “Have her chances of survival improved?”

“I am afraid that it is still too soon to say. Overnight, she will be closely monitored, by me, my head nurse, and at least three other practitioners. Our main goal at this time concerns getting her heart rate and its erratic, arrhythmic rhythm under control, as well as the continual lowering of her fever. If she can make it through to first sun, she may have a fighting chance at survival. But, General, it is going to be a long, painful, possibly very difficult night that we are set to face.”

“Understood. We will remain here,” Movar said with a nod. Come hell or high water, nothing was going to make him leave his winged one’s side.

Talar turned to go, T’Rul called him back. “Wait. Would it be possible for my father and I to stay at Ael’s bedside?”

The posed question usually had an easy answer, this time, not so much. Ael’s situation was still touch-and-go, critical. If they were crowded around her bedside and she coded, if even one of them became too distraught to move back immediately; it could cost precious seconds of time Ael likely didn’t have to spare.

“While there are times when I would allow it,” he began carefully at T’Rul’s expression. “The situation with Ael is most dire.”

Prepared to fight for the right to be by her sister’s bedside, T’Rul chose her next words with care. Nothing would be gained by starting an angry verbal battle. “Sometimes,” she started, “family can make all the difference in the world.” The tears began to come; she ignored them. “If either of us could be beside her for even a few minutes, I truly believe the difference it would make could be immensely powerful. Hearing our voices, feeling the touch of a hand; it could be the deciding factor between Ael giving up or continuing to fight for her life.” Turning, she took her father’s hand. “Father, do you not agree? If it were me in that room, you; Ael would fight to be by our sides for even a minute.” Her voice lowered, almost breaking. “She’s your winged one.”

Though he understood the doctor’s position, Movar found he agreed with his daughter. Had she not brought Ael’s special name into it, the one he gave her what, now, seemed like so long ago, one he might never be able to say to her again; even if Ael couldn’t understand the words, he longed to tell her, his winged one, that he was by her side.

Talar, barely, relented. “I will allow you inside under one condition. The instant any monitor makes even a _hint_ of a noise signaling a problem, you have to back away and vacate the room at once. Should the situation turn dire, and I do expect it, neither of you can be underfoot.”

“Understood,” said Movar. T’Rul nodded emphatically.

“I must see to a few things beforehand, however. I will return for you shortly but first, know this: She will look nothing like the Ael you remember from before this incident occurred. She has been exceptionally weakened by the ordeal; you may need a few moments to prepare for what you are about to see.”

Talar quietly slipped back into the ward. T’Rul, though she longed to one day heal the sick and injured, began to wonder if she could handle seeing her sister up close and personal in her current state.

“Father,” she began softly. “Do you think Ael has any chance of surviving? You can tell me the truth.”

Placing a hand on his daughter’s shoulder, Movar gave it a few, gentle pats, then sighed deeply. It bothered him that he felt torn on how best to answer. On one hand, as a father, he wanted to believe with every ounce of his being that his little girl would make a sudden, miraculous recovery, one which bore no lasting effects. However, as a general, one who had more than a centuries experience in the higher-rankings of a certain part of the military’s forces, he felt differently. He knew all letrazen was capable of, exactly how it could maim and kill; how it could destroy a life even if the victim managed to pull through to begin the recovery process, a difficult, often very painful affair.

Ael may have been Romulan in spirit, ruled by Fire, but she was still small, frail, young.

“I want to believe she can survive,” he began slowly. “Letrazen; it is such a devastating toxin and Ael, she is quite small.”

“I too wish to believe she is strong enough to fight. We have to believe she is.” A moment of silence. “If she makes it through to first sun, how long do you think it would take before she opens her eyes, is able to return home?”

“That is a question you may need to ask the doctor. However, if I go by experiences, all I have seen and heard over the past century and a quarter, I would have to wager her eyes will not open for at least a ten day. She may well be in that ward for a month, T’Rul, possibly two.” _And should she make it home again_ , he thought, _she could well need extensive care for the remainder of her life._

Unable to find the words to respond, T’Rul held silent, staring through the glass, not-so-patiently waiting for the doctor, a nurse, anyone to come striding through the doors to invite them in to stand at Ael’s bedside for a while.

At last, it was time.

Stepping into the ward yielded a clean, sterile odor, the biofunction monitor above Ael’s bed, silent, showing her vitals to be, mostly, stable. “Remember,” Talar said, “she will appear different than what you have come to know.”

A young nurse, Isha, one who stood the same height as Ael, briefly looked up from a PADD as father and daughter began to approach. Taris never raised her eyes from the PADD she consulted, busily tapping in numbers, making notations, remaining close to Ael’s bedside in the event of trouble.

T’Rul felt it difficult to breathe the closer she moved to Ael’s bedside, tears in her eyes once she had. Despite the cold packs around Ael’s body, a layer of feverish sweat stood out on her skin. Though normally of fair complexion, Ael’s skin had somehow managed to pale by two full shades, turning her a ghostly white. If not for the raspy wheeze that suddenly sounded from beneath the mask over her mouth and nose feeding her much-needed oxygen, T’Rul might have thought Ael to already have passed.

T’Rul closed her eyes tightly against the pain, momentarily covering her mouth with her hand. Reaching out as if to touch her sister, T’Rul hesitated. It had all seemed so simple, moments ago, how she would stride purposely towards Ael’s bed, gently take her hand, offer words of reassurance and comfort. Now, it felt as if she didn’t know exactly the right move to make.

Reaching down, ever so gently, Movar lifted Ael’s hand, holding it in a way she would have no doubt found comforting. Great sadness filled his heart at the limpness of her hand. This was the first time she had never gripped back. Carefully, finally finding the nerve to introduce a delicate touch, T’Rul swept back a lock of sweat-covered hair away from Ael’s face.

“My winged one,” Movar said softly. T’Rul felt her lower lip trembling at the pain in her father’s normally strong, steady voice. More than anything, he wanted to reassure both daughters even though only one could hear him, uttering the infamous words “It will be all right,” even if it was nothing but a lie. The words wouldn’t come; he refused to make them.

“I don’t know what I should say,” T’Rul admitted. “I thought I would rush to her bedside, soothe her soul with words of reassurance, bolster a hint of her spirit with encouraging strength. Somehow, nothing seems like the right thing to say.”

“Admittedly, I am having similar difficulties.”

“Ael, my precious sister,” said T’Rul struggling to keep her voice from cracking. “You must be strong, fight as you always have. Know that Father and I are here with you, as we always are and will be. Whatever strength we have is yours.”

“This is not a battle you fight alone,” Movar promised, a small portion of the strength in his voice had returned. “We will always stand with you, in any way we can. Find your courage, Ael, remember your strength, that fierce determination, one which allowed you to find your way home, now, so many days ago. An Illialhae never gives in, refuses to admit defeat no matter what battlefield they find themselves forced to fight through.”

T’Rul wished Ael had responded, shown some sign their words had gotten through. At least her vitals continued to hold steady. It was better than nothing.

 

…

 

An hour passed by in a blink, then two, and then three. Ael’s vitals had neither dipped or spiked, remaining exactly how they were, unchanged. Movar and T’Rul hadn’t strayed from Ael’s side, T’Rul having taken up residence in a chair as she held and stroked her sister’s hand, lost in thought.

While her mind had been set to linger on the catastrophe she might have prevented, at least for a time, had she only grabbed Ael from the get-go, pulling her away from the front door altogether, her thoughts had chosen to wander away, settling on the last person in the world whom she ought to be thinking about at the moment: Sela.

Not only had the woman agreed without question to ready the flitter, likely sensing the urgency in the air, but on their way to leave, Sela had called out, asking to be updated in regards to Ael’s condition. While odd, T’Rul’s focus had been intently on her sister, on getting the flitter to the hospital as quickly as possible. Now, there was ample time to linger on the words spoken by Sela, a woman who had loathed Ael at very first sight. Another remembrance from earlier in the evening flooded in, when she had entered the dining room to see Sela slightly turned in her chair, facing Ael like the two were having a quiet, almost secretive conversation.

“Father, may I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“This may not be the proper time but since my thoughts have chosen to linger around a specific moment from earlier this eve…” A momentary pause. “When we were readying to take off, Sela asked what had happened, then, asked for an update on Ael’s condition whenever either of us was able to give it. It has confused me. Do you believe she has had a sudden change of heart, cares about what befalls Ael?”

“Such a drastic change, one that could be called truly sincere; I cannot see it. However, she has admitted some things to me recently, all of which came forth in a loud series of arguments.” T’Rul looked on curiously, somewhat perplexed. Movar offered nothing further, lapsing into thoughts concerning Sela himself.

Vicious, a loner, cunning when it came right down to it; Sela never feared showing claws or teeth, challenging anyone who dared get in her way, her sharp tongue and short fuse often the catalyst for the times she’d ended up in hot water. Not that Movar hadn’t bailed her out, each and every time.

Recently, ever since the night she had been disowned at the table, thanks to a series of painfully long, loud arguments that often stretched into the wee hours of the morning, Movar had noticed a distinct difference in Sela while around the home. She was quieter, more subdued to a point, attempting to somehow find her place back in the family, wherever she could fit. Despite their arguments, Movar could see Sela holding back, keeping secrets, something she had grown into not that he could blame her.

Sela hated vulnerability, showing her feelings, refusing to allow anyone to see her open, weak, soft, the human side of her, one which she declared dead many years ago in accordance with her mother’s passing. As she grew, so did aggressive tendencies, likely due to the fact she was often bullied both at school and in training, coming home many times with blood on her lips, bruises on her face, all for the crime of being half-human.

Once her loathing for her human half erupted in full-force, any good, decent attributes within, faded away. The hatred for her humanity was pushed deeper with every belittling word she endured on the streets, every curse, every swift and brutal punch and kick. By the time Sela turned twenty-five, her time at Serona complete, she was a changed young woman, aggressive without remorse, challenging the authority of people whom she shouldn’t, striving to be the Romulan virtually no one considered her capable of being. All except one, and she was pushing him away.

Sela entered the naval academy, rising rapidly through the ranks, making commander of her own imperial warbird by the time she was barely thirty-five. It was a feat most unheard of; many her own age who graduated the academy at the same time as Sela, now served beneath her, junior centurion in rank. Thanks to her father, a prestigious, feared general and one of the empire’s most elite, Sela was secured opportunities and assignments that most young Romulans were not allowed or afforded.

Despite all her father had done, and continued to do, Sela was unashamedly unappreciative. Eventually, she had succeeded in pushing away the remainder of what family gave a damn, scarcely caring, or so she thought, busying herself in work.

A pained, tortured soul hid in the body of a woman with ever-present anger in her eyes, and that pain, most of it having been kept secret for years, finally might be about to find its way out.

“I still think she is trying to keep her place in the home,” T’Rul said quietly, interrupting her father’s train of thought.

“Possibly.” It wouldn’t surprise him. Still, she had asked and, at the time, seemed some sort of sincere. Almost reluctantly, Movar decided to call home and give Sela the update she had asked for at the last possible second. “I will return in a few minutes.”

Nodding silently, T’Rul turned her attention away from thoughts concerning Sela and back to Ael. “I will watch over her, Father,” she promised, listening to his footsteps cross the room, then disappear as he went through the door. “Don’t waste more time than you have to with Sela. Ael, she needs you more than I think Sela ever has.”

 

…

 

Sela had alternated pacing the front hall with staring at the call unit, since a few minutes after the flitter had gone. Idly, she paced, a hand up to her mouth as she nibbled the nail of her forefinger. She wasn’t quite sure where the habit had been originally been picked up, but it had been with her for as long as she could remember, normally making an appearance the times Sela felt exceptionally stressed. It was a comforting habit, though one she wished could be broken.

“Dammit,” she swore, wincing when a thin bit of nail tore away. A rivet of scarlet blood appeared. Sela glared at it, placing her hands behind her back, continuing to pace, every now and again, pausing, forcefully staring at the terminal, willing it to chime.

As she waited for the call to come, Sela allowed her thoughts to drift, focusing on Ael, that damn human child who had her in almost a constant state of puzzlement these days.

An incident that no one knew about came to mind, several days past, shortly before first meal, around seventh hour. Already awake, though not yet out of bed, Sela had been surprised to hear rapping on her bedroom door.

“Who in the world?” she had questioned. No one ever visited her room, knocked on her door for any reason. Confused, curious, Sela grabbed a robe off the nearby chair and opened the door a crack. It opened wide when she saw Ael standing there, waiting patiently, quietly. It was odd to not only see her standing there, but away from the safety of someone’s side.

For several moments, Sela stood staring. Ael took the initiative, informing Sela first meal was about to go on the table. Again, Sela said nothing; she actually couldn’t find anything to say.

Finally, “Yes, I am aware first meal is soon.”

Ael had noticed the strange quietness to her tone, asking, “So, are you coming? I can wait here if you need to get something else on.”

 _Why in the world do you suddenly care_ , Sela had thought, the words going unsaid. _For that matter, why do I_? “That is not necessary.”

“I don’t mind waiting.”

“I – Allow me a few minutes,” was the best she could come up with to say, retreating back into her room behind a closed door. Distracted, it had taken Sela nearly ten minutes to put on her uniform, most days, it only took three.

The reason she didn’t care for the small human child, once hated her so fiercely, sprang into Sela’s thoughts. It forced her to spend another few minutes loitering in her room, pacing restlessly, mumbling to herself, chewing at her nails.

Since Ael had first come, Movar had treated her like family; it hadn’t actually taken them long to begin forging a strong, steadfast bond, Ael earning a loving nickname, falling into place as daddy’s little girl. Garnering trust, love, attention and more; Sela had seen it all firsthand when she’d first, after years away, stepped back through the front door of the home. Seeing Ael gathered up in tight hugs, hearing the laughter at the table the night she refused to eat dinner; it had sparked an intense flame of hateful jealousy that Sela didn’t know what to do with. So, she allowed it to build and fester.

Unfortunately, her hatred of the smaller girl had turned into multiple one-on-one fights, always verbal. Ael usually broke down at some point during the heated exchanges, soothed and settled by those who loved her, assured she would one day be something great.

It bothered her more than she cared to admit for the longest time.

At last, shaking her head to clear the thoughts, Sela opened the door. Ael stood exactly where she’d been left, though appeared uneasy at having remained away from her father’s side for longer than she liked. Without a word spoken between them, the pair had walked down the hall side-by-side, Sela stopping Ael with a brief touch to her arm shortly before they’d reached the dining hall.

“Why did you come for me?” Sela remembered asking.

Ael had shrugged in reply. “I just felt like it. I figured, I don’t know, like, maybe you wanted someone to walk with for a change.” That was that, Ael heading into the dining room to once again be at her father’s side, Sela left standing by the entryway, unable to respond.

Then there was this past evening, when, shortly before mealtime, Ael had been sitting at the opposite end of the dinner table, looking thoroughly despondent. For reasons unbeknownst to her, Sela had sat near, offered a listening ear. Ael hadn’t been able to confide more than a handful of words, most of them asking Sela to make her a promise.

_“If something happens to me, promise you’ll take care of T’Rul, Daddy.”_

After attempting to question the smaller girl and getting nowhere fast; with the onset of footfalls headed for the dining room, Sela had nodded. She almost wished she hadn’t.

“I should have forced her to explain,” she mumbled. It was too late now. Sela had settled back into chewing on her nails when the terminal chimed, making her jump. Admittedly, she hadn’t been expecting a call to come through at all. The tap of a button and the call connected; Sela attempted to mask her anxiousness, a trait she never dared display the rare times she felt it take hold.

Movar said nothing at first, his expression battle-weary, usual patient demeanor far from sight. The rims of his eyes were tinged green; Sela knew that meant he’d been weeping. She personally hadn’t seen him weep since she’d been the tender age of four. Did the expression, green-tinged eyes, the fact he had no words to speak; had Ael _died_? The thought, Movar’s expression, and silence; Sela felt shaken for the first time in at least two decades. A member of her family sat within her sights, obviously distressed, pained beyond measure, and there was nothing she could do about it. She hadn’t felt that particular brand of helplessness since a young age, either.

“How is she?” Sela finally asked, certain she already knew. Movar caught sight of her worry, choosing to ignore it, wonder about it later.

“Barely stabilized,” he answered wearily. “She was stabbed, quite literally in the back. The weapon that assaulted her had been dipped in letrazen.”

“ _Letrazen_?” Blue eyes grew wide. It was astonishing to hear that Ael hadn’t already been transferred to the morgue. “Has she shown signs of paralysis or organ failure?”

“Thankfully, no. There is a significant chance that, should Ael survive, there will be complications.” Pausing, Movar pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and first finger.

“What are the chances of her survival?” Sela dared ask, bothered by the fact her voice projected a little too softly.

“Less than five percent. If she makes it through to first sun, it may rise to ten. Ael’s heart has already failed her once. If it fails for a second time…”

There seemed to be nothing left to say. For the second time in a day, once to Ael, now, to Movar, Sela found herself asking if there was anything she could do to help.

Movar spent a good two minutes probing Sela’s stare from the opposite side of the screen, desperately searching those usually cold blue eyes for answers to his sudden questions. Reading Sela had been much easier at a younger age; the more she’d grown, pushed the people who loved her away, it became all but an impossible task.

“There is nothing you can do,” he said slowly, wondering at the sincerity he’d seen in her eyes. “T’Rul and I will be staying here for the evening, at Ael’s bedside. It is highly likely we will be here tomorrow as well, at least for the majority of the time.”

“Understood,” she said. “Keep me informed.” A pause. “I am sorry about Ael.”

Nerves already on edge, the peculiarity of Sela’s sudden change, caused Movar to snap. “Sela, why, in Fire’s name, do you suddenly seem to care about Ael and what befalls her?”

“You know why,” she said quietly. “I am certain you remember our last verbal clash.”

“Indeed,” he said dryly, turning annoyed. “What exactly was it you said that day, Sela?”

“The day when I admitted my jealousy?” Sela snapped crossly. “Where I admitted that I can barely stomach the sight of Ael due to how perfect a fit she seems to be for the family, how she seems to be such a perfect fit for you as a _daughter_?” Her voice took on a hard edge when she said, “Unlike me. You love her more than the moons, and maybe, though no one in the world wants a damn thing to do with me anymore, that is why I suddenly care. Something cherished, precious may be about to be ripped cruelly away from you without care or consent, leaving you vulnerable, helpless. I _know_ those feelings well or have you forgotten, _Father_?”

Abruptly, the terminal fell silent.

Whether or not the words had come at the most appropriate time, come, they had. Settling her head in her hands, Sela sighed, pushed back the chair and stood. With one, last glance at the terminal she turned away, striding quickly, quietly out of the room with a lifetime of pain, regret and confusion left lingering behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Just a note to say I know this chapter goes against canon by a minor degree, as well as against a novel which later turned into a large work of fanon. That said, I ask that folks please respect my own personal head-canon and story. Thank you!**


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